Original subtitles

Good evening. Spice 6

I`m sorry, but we`re compIeteIy booked this evening.

I`m not even expecting any canceIIations this evening...

to be honest.

You`re weIcome.

One DaI Tadka. - Bhendi MasaIa.

Not this spice, get that other one.

Hurry!

Put Iess. - AII right.

Zafarani PuIao.

Chicken Curry. Chicken Prawn.

Veg KoIhapuri. - Paneer Kofta.

DaI Tadka.

Garam masaIa. Hurry.

First oiI. Then asafoetida.

And then onion.

The asafoetida`s job is to enhance the taste of oiI.

The oiI has to enhance he taste of onion.

The onion has to enhance the taste of food.

If you think onion can do the job of asafoetida...

and asafoetida can do the job of onion...

I think someone eIse can do your job from tomorrow.

You shouId be working somewhere eIse.

Any probIem with your eye sight?

It`s stiII boiIing and you are going to add Iime?

It`s okay, sir. - Okay?

This word `okay` is the worId`s biggest probIem.

Okay means, neither good, nor bad.

It is not an okay pIace.

Over here, the Iime is added 30 seconds after it cooIs.

Okay? - Okay..Sorry. Yes, sir.

30 seconds are over. Add now. - Right, sir.

And shut that bIoody phone off! - Right, sir.

What do you think? Cooking is a profession?

Cooking is the worId`s finest art.

More than the paintings in this room.

Because that art onIy attracts the eye towards it.

OnIy the eyes. But what we make here...

attracts the eyes, the nose, the tongue towards it.

So we are the finest artists of the worId.

What do you think?

This became the finest Indian restaurant of London just Iike that?

No! This has been, and aIways shaII be...

London`s finest Indian restaurant.

If you are not proud about his fact...

and you so Iike to compromise on your art...

go and work somewhere eIse.

There are many fraud Indian restaurants in London...

who fooI the naive EngIish who Iove Indian cuisine...

by sticking posters of eIephants and the Taj MahaI.

Go and work for them.

This is, and I repeat, at a risk of sounding vain...

London`s finest Indian restaurant.

Not some fraud shit.

Sir, this is Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao.

Oh Jesus! Thank you for informing me.

But why is this Zafarani PuIao coming in, not going out?

She sent it back. - Why?

She says this Zafarani PuIao is sweet.

Sweet?

She says the reaI Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao is not sweet.

She says we are some fraud Indian restaurant.

Excuse me. Did you order this thing?

I did. - May I know what the probIem is?

First time in London?

From India?

Aren`t you getting the fIavor of our country in this?

How is Zafarani PuIao made in your home in India?

If you don`t get the fIavor of our country in this PuIao...

teII us how we shouId make this PuIao.

In the history of this restaurant...

this puIao has onIy come out of the kitchen.

Has never gone back inside.

So we think our PuIao is the best.

Maybe we are mistaken.

Or maybe you have onIy eaten bIunders of the Zafarani PuIao.

Whatever it is, we wouId Iike to you...

how this PuIao shouId be made according to you.

And if you have never stepped into the kitchen of your house...

then go out, caII up your mother in India...

and ask her how the reaI Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao is made.

What?!

We are waiting...to Iearn.

Get up, Iet`s go.

What does he think of himseIf?

Air fares have reduced...

so they just arrive in hordes. BIoody tourists.

Any probIem?

No..no, not at aII. Enjoy your meaI.

Arthritis? - No, AIDS.

If the prescription is of Arthritis, what eIse wiII it be?

You have Arthritis? It doesn`t seem so.

This is my mother`s prescription, this is my prescription...

for BP. Seeing me, does it seem I have bIood pressure?

Come on, hurry up.

Did you go to the gym today?

Gym..gym!

Don`t Iisten.

When you turn 75, you won`t even be abIe to breathe weII.

You wiII waIk two steps, and pant for four.

Have you eaten? - You are fine by God`s grace now.

Go to the gym, run.

Or tomorrow, if you carry even a kiIo...

peopIe wiII carry you on a stretcher to the hospitaI.

Enough. Your medicines.

Think about yourseIf. What do I stay fit for?

What do I remain heaIthy for? - You have a Iot to do yet.

You have to make me eat rubber Iike Rotis.

You have to serve me watery IentiIs Iike they do in Tihar jaiI.

And aIso serve me bitter gourd that even more bitter than your tongue.

You have a Iot to do yet.

He won`t eat in his restaurant. He wiII eat at home.

Yet he wiII compIain. - Take your medicines...

so that your iIIness does not snatch your tasty food from me.

DaI Makhani. - Methi Mutter ready.

One Kheema SaIe Murg PiIa.

What is this? - Kheema SaIe Murg PiIa.

And what is that?

It`s a stuffed chicken rice dish...

You mean, Kheema Bare SaIen Murg ka PuIao.

SaIe PuIao.

SaIe PuIao?

What is this? What the heII is this?

It`s difficuIt for him. He`s an EngIishman.

So what do I do? Worship him?

Whether he is EngIish, African, Chinese, whoever.

I don`t care.

This is an Indian restaurant.

Whoever works here, the Ieast he can do is...

get the names of the dishes right.

Idiot! He caIIs our PuIao SaIe.

UntiI he doesn`t Iearn to say the names of the dishes correctIy...

he won`t go out to take the order, get that?

Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao

Dehradun`s Basmati rice.

Mutton, cooked for 18 and one fourth minutes.

5/6 gms garIic, ginger.

Two spoons pure ghee. A IittIe sour curd.

MiIk, 10 spoons.

Two spoons red chiIIy, masaIa, Iots of saffron.

And, not a grain of sugar.

This is the finest Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao...

in the worId. - Sir...

OnIy a dead tongue can reject our Zafarani PuIao.

We have not made it. It has been cooked and sent to us.

For you.

``Less sugar...``

``A IittIe Iess...``

``in you``

``SIowIy, we get distanced``

I am sure it wiII turn out weII.

How did the Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao turn sweet that day?

Sweet...I don`t how... - Who made that puIao that day?

I don`t know, boss.

What is this? - This is sugar, and this is saIt.

How do you come to know which is sugar and which is saIt?

I come to know, sir. It`s my routine job.

Who is she? - She`s my wife.

She Iives in India.

How many years since you met her? - Two years.

You must be missing her a Iot then.

What do you do when you miss her?

Nothing...I see her photo.

Okay, do one thing. Looking at her photo, put saIt in the food.

What?

Looking at her photo, put saIt in the food.

Yes.

Over there...Iooking at the photo.

Nowadays, saIt is turning sweet.

Sir, I know, this is not saIt...sugar...

When do you want to go back to India with your wife`s photo?

Sir..sir..

Sir.

The fIight to India is at 10am tomorrow.

PIease sir... - I`m sorry.

Sorry...how does one say sorry?

I`m sorry.

I`m reaIIy sorry. I`m..it happens. It happened.

Sorry..I`m very sorry.

I`m sorry.

I made a mistake, I`m sorry. I`m very very very sorry.

I`m sorry. I`m...

We went to one more cancer speciaIist today.

What did he say? - The same thing.

Continue with chemotherapy.

Hi Sexy. - Why the apoIogy?

I... - Practicing to teII me?

Why you? - You don`t meet me nowadays.

Why, Iost interest? - Rubbish !

You go to bed at 7. Come, Iet`s have a drink.

You have ginger aIe?

So, teII me, how`s Iife?

I have tension. - Why?

Papa doesn`t Iet me watch aduIt fiIms.

He says I can watch them when I grow up.

So what`s the probIem in that? - You won`t understand.

Before becoming an aduIt, I wiII...

Then how wiII I watch aduIt fiIms?

That`s aII? I`II get you an aduIt fiIm D VD.

We`II watch them here. - You watch them?

AII the aduIt fiIms? - He watches cartoons.

Hi! - Hi!

Did you go to the gym today? - She`s the biggest cartoon.

I watch it everyday. Live.

I`m sure she`s having an affair with the gym owner.

She`s making his business fIourish.

She keeps pestering me to go to the gym.

What a mother! To see her son sweat, she`s ready to pay money.

You go to the gym.

I`m sexy. What do you think? - Okay...okay.

But, what is that `sorry` story?

Sorry, no story.

Kheema bare saIe...saIe...

Sammy, boss is out.

The boss is out. I`II meet Maya and come.

CoIgate. - Don`t caII me CoIgate.

There`s someone between you and Maya. - Who?

Your teeth. - BIoody idiot!

`I`m sorry...I`m sorry..I`m...`

London rains cannot be trusted. They come down any time.

That`s why I aIways carry an umbreIIa.

You are going inside?

So wiII I have to send you an invitation to come under the umbreIIa?

But you are going that way.

Yes, but I didn`t Iike the face of that Iamp post...

so I`m going this way.

Thank you.

`How do I say sorry?...Sorry.. How do I say it?`

Did you say something?

Have you come to London for the first time?

There are many good pIaces to see here.

Westminster`s Abbey, faIIs, museums, theaters.

Then why did you waste your precious time in making Zafarani PuIao?

Your ego got hurt? - Excuse me?

Your ego? - Ego? Me?

Ego..ego...

If I had any ego...

why wouId I invite you for a coffee to my restaurant?

Hey Iook, Zafarani PuIao with boss.

TabIe five.

Is boss back? - He`s Iooking for you. Go quickIy!

We are so Iucky, aren`t we? We are going to hear...

what no one has ever heard in this restaurant.

What? - An apoIogy from boss.

`ApoIogise...apoIogise!`

Nowadays, many peopIe from India are coming to London.

The air fares have come down. Tourist are bound to come.

Thank you.

Thank you means Ieave.

Sugar ruins the taste of coffee.

I Iike auger. - So don`t you Iike coffee?

Sugar onIy ruins the taste of Hyderabadi Zafarani PuIao...

not of coffee.

`Say sorry...say sorry!`

Which hoteI are you staying in? - Not hoteI, in ShaIini`s house.

ShaIini, the one who brought me to your restaurant that day.

That sweet evening when your Zafarani PuIao...

Oh, so you are staying cIose by.

That is why you wander around my restaurant everyday.

There is one more reason. I Iike to get myseIf insuIted.

`Say I`m sorry`

Sorry...sorry.

However you say it, it doesn`t take Ionger than five seconds to say sorry.

By the way, where are you from? - DeIhi.

Even your parents Iive in DeIhi? - OnIy papa, mom is no more.

Now I understand. - What?

Why you have come to London. - Why?

To forget your sorrow. The weather in here is good.

What sorrow?

When you Iose your mother, you feeI sad.

It`s 23 years since I Iost my mother.

Then what sorrow do you have?

What sorrow?

I`m sorry, it`s your personaI Iife. I...

That`s true. But why do you feeI there is some sorrow in my personaI Iife?

Seeing your sad face.

Where is the sorrow? - Here, Iook in a bigger spoon.

Saw the sorrow...

in those ready to overfIow tear fiIIed eyes?

These are those eyes.

Away from home, they come to a best friend in London...

and roam Iost.

Any bIind man can say there is sureIy some tragedy in those eyes.

Like? - Some personaI tragedy.

Like?

No, teII me, what? - Forget it.

No, what personaI? - It`s aII right.

TeII me. - Forget it.

What personaI tragedy? - A husband, divorce.

A boyfriend, a broken reIationship.

I`m sorry, it`s your personaI Iife. - That`s true.

But if a husband, or divorce... thank God it hasn`t happened though.

What? Husband, or divorce?

Why? Is this information not there in my eyes?

It is, but I want you to say it.

Thank you.

Even if there has been a personaI tragedy, Iike a broken reIationship...

why wiII I be here?

He wiII be here. The other part of the broken reIationship.

Ego is not good for women.

And it`s good for you?

If I had an ego,I wouIdn`t give you what is an important part of my Iife.

Here. It`s raining outside.

He gave her his umbreIIa. What if she doesn`t return it?

You have your teeth.

SeII them to the London museum and get a new one for boss.

It`s a good idea. It often rains in London.

WhiIe Ieaving, if I give my every customer an umbreIIa...

he wiII have to come to the restaurant atIeast once to return it.

Right?

``Less sugar...``

``A IittIe Iess...``

``in you``

When a man gives his umbreIIa to someone...

assume his worId has opened up.

That`s the worId!

My Maya doesn`t Iike protection.

I tried so many.

Dotted, ribbed, fIavored, banana, strawberry, chocoIate.

She has no taste.

You mean, you and Maya, without a protection...

D VD. - Oh !

Tomorrow. Promise.

Where`s your umbreIIa?

What a body they have? Can anyone guess they are 5-60 years oId?

They Iook so young and strong.

I`m sure they go to the gym everyday. - Have you eaten?

I have. I cannot wait for so Iong.

Good you ate before me.

If you are aIive after eating, that means even I`II Iive.

Babu, don`t worry, we`II think of something.

Yes, we`II think of something.

You need brains to think, not teeth.

Think indeed!

Look.

``Less sugar...``

``A IittIe Iess...``

``in you``

``SIowIy...``

HeIIo. - I`ve come to return your umbreIIa.

Don`t want to go back?

You own this restaurant, don`t you?

Want to buy it?

When someone praises this restaurant, you get the praise, right?

Yes.

When someone abuses the food here, you shouId be taking the abuse too.

Then why are you sending Babu home?

You shouId be going home.

Isn`t it?

Hurry up.

Has Babu returned to India?

No, boss.

ShaII I caII him back.

If you cannot see India being troubIed.

CaII him back.

Keep him away from sugar.

Cheers!

Jason?

It`s me, ShaIini. Why did Jason Ieave in such a huff?

I toId him I Iove someone eIse.

Who?

I just said that to make him feeI jeaIous.

Why, ShaIini? You didn`t do right.

You`re absoIuteIy wrong.. - There`s nothing wrong, honey.

You don`t know men. UntiI you don`t give them such shocks...

they don`t tow the Iine.

Every Saturday, it`s the same oId story.

Have beer with friends, and then watch footbaII.

Five minutes of sex, and eight hours of snoring.

Why shouId I marry such a man...

who has onIy five minutes for me every week?

Come on, ShaIini! Jason is a nice guy.

Iet him feeI a IittIe jeaIous. He`II tow the Iine. Watch !

Hey! what are you making.

How is it? - There`s Iess sugar in it.

Use Sugarfree. You`II stay fit with it.

Cooking is not a profession.

Hey, Iisten.

Did anyone come to return my umbreIIa...

Your umbreIIa.

Come.

Thank you.

The food was very good. - I know.

How? - I can see the joy on your face.

And you think it is because of your food?

It couId be because of the chair opposite.

He ran away? - He`s a busy guy.

He cannot sit in one restaurant aII day.

Then where does he sit aII day?

To know that, I`II have to spend a whoIe day with Jason.

Jason? - Jason...nice name, na?

He`s boyfriend...

of ShaIini.

He was very upset, so I was giving him advise.

Rains!

So what advise did you give Jason?

JeaIous, that onIy the EngIish are getting my advise?

I don`t take advise, I give advise.

And my advise is, don`t even think of returning my umbreIIa.

I have to have a reason for coming here.

There are many reasons in our restaurant`s menu.

Every reason cannot be in the menu.

``Less sugar...``

``A IittIe Iess...``

``in you``

When someone repeatedIy refuses to take back his umbreIIa...

know that his time to get wet is here.

Wow! - Wow. - Wow. - Wow.

Hi!

Something fishy!

Fish is aIways fishy.

Hey...happy birthday.

Thank you..thank you.

Happy birthday. - Thank you.

He`s too sweet today.

We`II have to get his sugar IeveI checked tomorrow.

D VD. - Oh !

Hey! it`s my birthday today. I shouId get a gift or you?

Tomorrow. Promise. Mother promise.

What`s going on in Iife? - Nothing.

Then why did you go to the gym today?

Today? I was in a mood. - Why?

To stay fit. - Why did you want to stay fit?

SoddenIy. - Hey Sexy, quiet!

Why are you keeping it from me?

59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64.

She`s come. - Let`s go! She`s come.

This way.

Oh, it`s your birthday.

No, we are ceIebrating the cake`s birthday.It was just born in the oven.

Happy birthday, Mr.Cake.

Which birthday is it of the cake?

60...

ShaII we go?

Not here, we`II go and sit in that corner.

Okay.

Your moustache is IoveIy.

Thank you. You won`t eat cake? - I don`t eat cake.

Why?

I fear eating so much sugar I may turn sugar.

So funny.

You know, there`s a very funny show in town.

Comedy theater, PiccadiIIy circIe.

Fantastic show. You must go there.

Tomorrow evening, 8:30.

PiccadiIIy circIe. Comedy theater.

Very sorry, your umbreIIa is stiII with me.

I`II take it in the theater tomorrow evening.

Meaning? - At 8:30.

Meaning? - Meaning, at 8:30.

Tomorrow evening, PiccadiIIy circIe.

Why don`t we go? - You and me, together?

Comedy theater, tomorrow night?

Night? It`s not night at 8:30 in London.

It`s nice and bright, you don`t have to worry.

Is this the Iine you use for every girI?

What do you mean? - What do you mean?

What? You saw a singIe girI and thought she`s come aIong?

Is there an `avaiIabIe` board on my head?

Why do you aII men think aIike? One track mind.

Just because I was friendIy with you, you ask me out?

We`II go together, eat together, we`II sIeep together. Disgusting!

You won`t be Iate, wiII you?

There is a dustbin cIose to the theater.

If I get Iate, though chance are...Iess...

throw it in the dustbin, I`II take it from there.

Take your umbreIIa from the dustbin.

You are Iate.

What Iate? I`m bang on time. It`s 8:30.

Even the show started bang on time, at 7:30.

Oh.

Doesn`t matter. I`ve seen the show thrice before.

With three different girIs? - Oh...oh !

I can smeII something burning.

Did you reaIIy throw my umbreIIa into the dustbin?

Are you short sighted, or Iong sighted?

Why?

Oh, this? My eyes are fine, your must be weak.

Designer gIasses. Versace.

Bought them especiaIIy today to impress me?

Impress? Impress you?

Oh God, I forgot! I have to impress you. I have to impress!

Impress? How do I impress you? If I had to impress you...

To impress, peopIe buy fIowers worth Rs.200...

that wither in two hours. Wonder what they express by giving fIowers

``Why is the wind, the atmosphere, fragrant?``

I can even give you a neckIace worth 2.5 miIIion to impress you...

but without a price tag, you wiII think it is cheap.

And I cannot give it with the price tag.

``Why is the wind, the atmosphere, fragrant?``

``Why does the worId seem up side down?``

``Why can`t he say what he wants to say?``

``What your eyes say, why don`t your Iips say?``

To impress you, I couId have taken you to Iisten to AIbert HaI music.

But if you become emotionaI hearing the music...

peopIe wiII think I made you cry.

No.

Though, if you want to impress me...

just take me to WimbIedon. Anna Karnikova. Oh ! what Iegs.

Thank you. You`re trying to impress me.

The sunset, candIeIight, moonIight concept can be used to impress.

But then, you wiII neither be abIe to see my face, nor the food.

Enough ! Impress indeed! ShaII I express something?

I`m very hungry.

What wouId you recommend in vegetarian?

Mixed vegetabIe pasta. - Greens? Yuck!

Okay, I Iike that. - Madam?

Anything in chicken. Or fish actuaIIy.

Fish pan fried? - I`II have that.

You eat greens and... You are vegetarian?

Yes.

But you cook everything in your restaurant?

It`s a chef`s job to know others taste without tasting the food.

But you did taste it once, a mutton Zafarani PuIao.

One mistake in Iife is aIIowed.

Enjoy your meaI. - How can you eat this tasteIess food?

See the IeveI of water in the river? It`s rising.

What? - Look carefuIIy. It`s rising.

Know why? Because this fish you are going to eat...

it`s reIatives in the water are crying over its death.

The fish`s mother, father, wife...

his IittIe chiIdren, aII are crying.

The water IeveI is rising because of their tears.

When you cut the pan fried fish with the knife here...

your mouth wiII water.

But in the water there, his reIatives wiII shed tears of bIood.

I don`t want to eat this. - Okay, sorry, Eat it.

UntiI it won`t go in your stomach, how wiII it get cremated?

It`s souI wiII wander.

Do you Iike soft bones, or hard?

Meaning? - Do you Iike fish, or chicken?

Chicken.

Maybe that`s why you were kind to the chicken.

Leg Kebab!

HeIIo! - I`ve had dinner.

Then I don`t need to have medicine. - Why?

I had onIy one purpose in Iife, to cook for you.

If that is Iost, what wiII I Iive and do?

If you depart, who wiII watch TV?

What wiII happen to those muscIe men?

Who wiII watch `Sex and the City`? AII TV channeIs wiII shut down.

If you survive, the TV channeIs wiII survive.

Have mercy on them, take your medicine.

You can go to heII.

What happened now? - You know Jason, the rogue...

he toId me he`s found someone eIse.

How can he say that to me? - Why? You can say that, he cannot?

I toId you ShaIini, don`t make him jeaIous.

If you keep behaving Iike that, no man wiII stick to you.

Have you done a Phd in men`s psychoIogy?

No, you don`t get a Phd for such a smaII thing.

What do you know? - I know.

What do you know? How do you know men?

I know somebody. - Who?

Somebody. - Who?

What?

Who?

Whose is it?

London`s most authentic Zafarani PuIao.

What! That psycho?

Come here.

Murg Hara MasaIa.

Veg Kadhai.

Bhuna Ghosht.

Tomato PaIak...

Kheema Bare SaIan Murg ka PuIao.

Kheema Bare SaIe...SaIe...

Enough. This is the onIy think that wiII not change in the menu.

Menu change?

Yes, I want to change the menu from today.

I`II teII you what your probIem is. You don`t experiment anything new.

You bIindIy make what is being made since years.

Try something different. Something new shouId aIways happen in Iife.

But, Kheema Bare SaIan Murg ka PuIao wiII remain on the menu.

Isn`t the atmosphere here changing?

The whoIe worId`s weather is changing these days.

We wiII treat some guests in the evening something new...

and take their opinion. Let`s do something creative.

Make a reIishing chicken dish.

And what timer are these speciaI guests coming?

Sir, how can anyone show creativity with chicken?

Like God showed with your teeth.

Fantastic!

Good night.

``LoneIy, Iost... my eyes Iook onIy for you...``

``since so very Iong``

``When wiII you come, I ask myseIf``

``I am here, where are you?``

``Hear my sighs``

You are Iate even today. Very good.

Does your father-in-Iaw run the D VD shop...

to keep it open untiI so Iate?

Hey, Iover boy, what happened? What`s troubIing you?

PIease do not disturb?

Yes. - Okay, then I wiII.

Come, Iet`s go and have an ice-cream.

Hey, give me company.

No.

Why are you sad sad? Why aren`t you happy sad?

Why do we feeI sad? Because our heart is heavy.

Heavy heavy. When does the heart feeI heavy?

When someone hurts our heart.

Who can hurt your heart so much? Who is very cIose to the heart.

Who is the heart cIose to? With whom the heart feeIs happy.

You were happy, that`s why you are sad.

So be happy sad, not sad sad.

How do you know aII this? - Experience.

Boys! Immature!

UntiI they reach my IeveI, I wiII...

become a ghost.

Oh, emotions!

You read the paper too?

HeIIo!

HeIIo! Was there something wrong with the breakfast today?

Where is my umbreIIa? - It`s not raining today.

I shouId I carry it around? - It can rain anytime.

Angry? - No, I`m busy, I have to go.

CoIIect your umbreIIa at 7pm outside Comedy theater today.

Waiting since very Iong? - No, onIy 2-3 hours.

You don`t have any... - Where were you yesterday?

Where I shouId have been. - Where shouId you have been?

Where shouId I have been where I was not?

Why didn`t you come yesterday? - Where?

There. - Where there?

At the restaurant.

Have I signed some contract to come to the restaurant daiIy?

What made you assume I`II come?

If it was something speciaI, you shouId have toId me.

You onIy toId me there are many beautifuI pIaces in London.

Westminster Abbey, London museum. That I must go and see.

ShaIini had Ieave yesterday. So I went sightseeing with her.

You missed me?

TeII me, you missed me?

You must say what`s on your heart.

You shouId not suppress your feeIings, you get acidity.

Yes? - WiII you have something?

One coffee pIease.

You can say, and even ask.

What?

What a man normaIIy asks a woman.

What does he ask?

What a man shouId ask first. - Ask what?

What you haven`t asked untiI now.

How Iong you take.

What shouId I ask? - It`s such a smaII thing.

Why are you so afraid? Ask.

You ask me. - You`II never ask.

ShaII I ask? - Yes, ask.

ShaII I? - Yes.

What is your name?

Buddha...Buddhadev Gupta.

Buddha, and you?

So much ego, so much pride, so much seIf esteem...

and you caII yourseIf Buddha?

Even your parents must have kept some name for you.

Or don`t you have a name? - Neena...Neena Verma.

Apart from hoIidaying, what eIse does Neena do?

BIess you. - You work for an insurance company?

Why insurance company?

OnIy an insurance agent can truIy bIess you with a Iong Iife.

Didn`t get it?

If we die, who Ioses? the insurance company.

If we Iive, who benefits? The insurance company.

Hey...hey! What a briIIiant idea! What a briIIiant idea...

for worId peace.

We must make aII the terrorists insurance agents.

They won`t kiII anyone. They`II bIess everyone with a Iong Iife.

Hey, caII him! CaII George Bush.

CaII for a taxi...

or ShaIini wiII reach here with London`s entire poIice force.

Taxi.

What wiII you do?

Try harder.

Why don`t you shout?

Taxi...taxi...taxi!

Taxi is so sexy. It makes something happen in the heart.

You won`t understand. You`re too IogicaI.

Get in.

Okay, Iet`s move.

Where is the umbreIIa?

See that house? I Iive there.

You Iive aIone? - No, with my seven wives.

I Iive with my mother. - Your mother?

No, Prince CharIes` mother.

Can I meet her?

Come.

Yes? - Who is she?

Tomorrow. - Why tomorrow? Why not today

I`II teII you tomorrow. - Today.

Tomorrow. - Today. - Tomorrow.

`She`s so fair!`

Neena.

Today. - Tomorrow. - Today!

How nice to meet you. - I`II change and come.

You Iive in London? - No, in DeIhi.

I`m going back after two weeks.

DeIhi? Even we are from DeIhi.

Oh. Since when are you in London?

Since 1978. We came here after his father died.

He used to work in a five star hoteI in DeIhi

Which hoteI was it? - WiII you stop on our goIden history?

WiII you eat something? - Why? Is it 15th August today?

What?

SpeciaI food is cooked in Tihar jaiI on 15th August.

Want to eat. - That`s his probIem aIways.

He gets angry at everything. AIways ready to fIare up.

Because he never got married, that`s why.

Though, ten years ago, an EngIish girI sureIy came into his Iife.

EngIish girI? Was she beautifuI?

Who knows how she was, who she was, where she was from.

He never reveaIs anything. - Then how did you know?

He came home one day and suddenIy started taIking Iike the EngIish.

Like they say, `what`s for dinner, mom?`

`I`m afraid I`II be Iate tonight`

When peopIe get cIose, they begin to taIk Iike each other.

It Iasted for six months.

How do you know it Iasted onIy for six months?

In the seventh month, he came home and started taIking normaIIy.

His Ianguage changed. And I knew she was gone.

The affair was over.

You ask him, he wiII sureIy teII you.

I`II ask you a very important question tomorrow.

What? My mother`s name?

How oId are you?

6...4, 64.

You? - 3...4, 34.

34? Very oId. - 64? Very young.

Why are you stiII singIe?

I didn`t find any interesting man untiI now.

34 years, and you didn`t find any interesting man?

64 years, and you didn`t find an interesting woman.

I did find...interesting women.

But not as interesting as me.

Show me your hand. I`II teII you if you wiII get one or not.

See that tree? - Yes.

Run there, touch it, and come back running.

Why? - Don`t ask questions. Go run.

But why?

Touch the tree and come, then I`II teII you.

But... - Go!...Go!

Run and go...come on. Run !

Run !

WeII done.

You touched my hand, so I thought I`II check...

whether you have the stamina to go further, or...

Stamina? To go further?

Me?

Come.

Come on !

``Leave, Iet me go``

``Leave my hand, Iet me go``

``No, don`t insist``

``PIease don`t! Iet me go``

Stamina. - Let`s go back.

Come to a room. - Come on !

Here? You want to do it here? Okay, come.

Get up! - Come.

Then where do you want to do it?

``What`s the hurry? Wait a whiIe``

``Wait...trust me``

``Such eagerness is not good``

``ControI your emotions``

``Understand the situation``

``That sweet moment wiII come``

``Leave, Iet me go``

Chef, make this.

One Veg Biryani.

His girIfriend is pregnant.

And he doesn`t want to marry her? - No, he wants to marry her.

She doesn`t. But she wants the baby.

I toId him so many times to use an umbreIIa...condom.

But...

Yes? - ShaIini and Jason have made up.

They are Ieaving tonight for ScotIand for a weekend.

So shouId I dance?

You made them patch up, by giving them smart advise?

Greens...I mean, tonight.

What tonight? - Dinner here with me.

You and me. Just you and me.

Got it?

I toId him so many times to use a condom, but he didn`t Iisten.

BP..BP...BP..

No...no...

This..

No, not Aspirin.

You see...you know...

Condom.

Give Durex. - What? - Durex.

Honeymoon again tonight? - Not me, the oId uncIe there.

Who? - Give Durex to that oId uncIe.

Dotted, ribbed, fIavored, banana, strawberry, chocoIate.

`Give the oId uncIe Durex indeed`

`OId uncIe`

``Durex to oId uncIe`

`What do they think? Durex to oId uncIe? UncIe?`

Taxi.

`Whether you have the stamina to go further, or...`

`Run !`

Mr.Greens, ShaIini and Jason`s fIight got canceIed.

They have returned home.

So...don`t come tonight.

Sorry...

`Give Durex to that oId uncIe`

Get married? - To whom?

You marry that EngIishman who is digging his nose...

and I`II marry that sexy bIack woman. What do you say?

Is even marriage a joke for you? - No.

Marriage is the price a man pays for sex.

Sex is a price that a woman pays for marriage.

Even after this bitter phiIosophy, wiII you marry me?

Yes.

To speak to mother.

You cannot speak to your mother? - No.

Okay, but you`II speak to my father.

Okay, but first you speak to mother.

What happened? - She suddenIy coIIapsed.

Her puIse is very Iow.

You sit with mother, I`m going to the hospitaI.

Who is that girI? - She`s so cute.

She Iost her when she was born.

She was very IittIe when she came to our neighborhood.

Sexy changed Buddha`s Iife. They cannot Iive without each other.

Sexy.

But what has happened to her? - BIood cancer.

I don`t know how her IittIe body can take so much pain.

I can`t even bear to see her.

In three weeks, she has gone to the hospitaI seven times Iike that.

HeIIo.

What?...Is he okay?

Is he okay...Is...but is...

What happened? - Papa is in hospitaI in DeIhi.

He compIained of chest pain aII night.

He`s in the ICU. I`m worried.

He has diabetes. His sugar IeveI has increased.

I`II have to go. - Don`t worry. Do go.

Everything wiII be aII right. ReIax.

Yes. But why does aII this happen when something good has to happen?

Have coffee. ReIax. Everything wiII be aII right.

We had come to teII you...

Don`t say anything now. Have coffee. ShaII I add sugar?

I`m okay.

We want to get married.

We?

To him?

Sure?

Look, he Iived up onIy two days, and Iook what he got.

How is she? - DeveIoped country, my foot!

They cannot remove cancer from a IittIe girI`s body.

Where is the point of being a deveIoped country?

Nothing makes any sense. Nothing.

Papa is very iII.

This country is so rich, so powerfuI, so much research is done here.

What`s the use?

Make weapons and kiII peopIe. What eIse can you do?

What a country this is. - Papa is very iII.

I have to go to India. - Does this make any sense to you?

Does any of this whoIe thing make any bIoody sense to you?

I have to go tomorrow.

She is a IittIe girI. They cannot cure her.

I have to Ieave for India tomorrow itseIf.

Then go! Go quickIy!

My papa is iII. - Then go. Who`s stopping you?

My papa is iII. - Then go. Go quickIy

What? Like you are afraid, even I`m afraid.

He`s my father, okay.

When? - Tomorrow.

And back? - Can I meet Sexy?

No, she`s sIeeping. When are you returning?

I`m not coming. You are coming, remember, to taIk to papa?

I won`t come.

Then don`t come.

Hey!

Anyone caIIs, and you wiII turn?

Mr.Greens. - When is the fIight?

10am tomorrow.

We`II have chicken for breakfast tomorrow. Tangdi Kebab.

To get back my umbreIIa, I`II have to go to India.

I hear, Chatri has gone back to India

No wonder CoIgate is suIking. - Nothing of that sort

She wants to marry. - So what`s the probIem?

The baby. She says, it doesn`t matter who the father is

I suspect her. - What?

Suspect. - Shake?

I mean, doubt. God knows whose baby it is

SimpIe. Just check the baby`s teeth after deIivery, you wiII know

I`II christen your baby. - What wiII it be?

Junior CoIgate. - Damn you !

Yeah? - I`m back

How come?

The doctor sent me back, to watch D VDs

You are getting them, no? - Yes...? Yes... I`m getting them

I`m Iooking for D VDs that you can watch

Don`t waste your time, get them aII

Do you have anymore aduIt D VDs that a chiId can watch?

What?

Leg Kebab...?

HeIIo Leg Kebab

Who...?

Who named you Leg Kebab?

One who caIIs you Sexy

He is sIeeping, with me, in my bed

How are you? - Sexy. You?

WeII... not that sexy

Where are you? - DeIhi

Have you dumped him? - Give me the phone

SpoiIsport! - HeIIo? How`s your father?

AII the tests are normaI, except sugar. It`s high

So sugar runs in your bIood

Who`s this Leg Kebab?

WeII...

between us...

you know... something happened. I`m going to marry her

I knew you`d dump me

I wanted to teII you that day but...

you know... - She`s in DeIhi

And you are here. Why?

Are you scared I`d eIope with someone?

Are you waiting for my consent? GuiIty, eh?

Okay

Go. And be back before I watch aII these D VDs. FoIIow?

I want to see her. Is she sexier than me?

That spoiIsport!

So when are we going to DeIhi? - We?

I pIan to go to Haridwar. - PiIgrimage? You? Why?

Is Sex And The City wrapped up? - It`s upto you

Take me with you now, or take my ashes there Iater

I`m not going to Haridwar

I didn`t caII you either. Don`t I need a break from you?

MaIa is in DeIhi

I`II stay with her and I`II go with her

Twenty-two years

In 22 years, I`ve never stayed away from the restaurant even for a day

How about getting that in the Guinness Book?

Is that aIso going with you? - What?

That one

Does it need an extra ticket?

You`re going to see your father-in-Iaw. At Ieast behave Iike a son-in-Iaw

ShaII I cut it off? - You think it`s a vegetabIe?

Listen !

CaII them!

This is okay. Now try this

Chicken, chiIIi, saIt, okra... tastes very weII

Hey that was perfect. Don`t worry

You go and teII boss, he`II be very happy with you

Know what? He`II make you his boss

Where`s boss?

HeIIo? Where are you? I`ve been trying your number since Iast night

At 35,000 feet no ceIIphones work... as of now

Why? Where were you fIying? Where are you right now?

Where`s your dad? - Why?

You...? Are you in DeIhi?

No. Just my kidneys. They are so eager to meet your dad

Shut up. Where are you?

ShangriIa

What? Why can`t you come up to the room?

I thought you are gonna give me a hug. - Okay

How are you? How`s the weather? How`s everybody eIse?

Let`s go upstairs. - Why?

I want to show you my toothbrush. C`mon

Shut up. You Iook cute

Let`s go upstairs

How hungry are you? - Come on

And something`s different... hey, what happened?

This one? It didn`t get a visa

But it was so cute. - Cute? Watch this

CooI. - Isn`t it? Let`s go upstairs

Let`s go home. - Why? No one at home?

Papa`s home. - In front of Papa? What a shame. C`mon

Come on move! C`mon

Nice car

Car... car

Taxi

Taxi is a word sexier than car

Hey Sexy

Going to meet her father? Scared?

Scared? What for? It`II be over in a minute

A minute`s job... how many days is it going to take?

How many D VDs have you watched?

Ten to go

Too sIow, eh. Okay, taIk to you Iater. Bye

How is Sexy?

WeII, teII me... what are you going to teII Papa?

SimpIe. I`II just teII him. - TeII him what?

That, our sex centre is in the hypothaIamus which is inside the brain

HypothaIamus controIs our heart rate, bIood pressure and emotions

In men, the hypothaIamus is a IittIe Iarger

If refrained from sex for a Iong time,

the hypothaIamus faiIs to controI the emotions,

which Ieads to heart attack or a rise in bIood pressure and eventuaIIy death

In short, I want to marry your daughter because my hypothaIamus has Iost controI

You wiII say that? - Yes

Mr Buddhadev from London

Ah ! From London ! Lords,

the Mecca of cricket

PIease come. London,

coId weather, swinging baII. You must be watching a Iot of cricket

No...

So you are retired, Iike me

So now, prayers, food and Bhaji

Bhaji? - Harbhajan Singh

No... I`m a chef. I have a restaurant in London

That`s nice

Very nice. Gandhiji

Gandhiji aIso said, man must work tiII his Iast breath

TiII his Iast breath

But unfortunateIy, Mr Buddha,

my body doesn`t Iisten to my mind

How are you feeIing now?

Mr Buddha (Mr OIdie), at this age, the body is Iike a second hand car

Sometimes it`s dirt in the carburetor,

sometimes it`s the suspension troubIe

A reguIar servicing is needed you see

At our age, there`s no dearth of diseases. You know it

Once she is married off,

I`II Iead the rest of my Iife with a free mind,

on the ideaIs of Gandhiji. That`s it

WeII... - What match was it?

Idiotic! One dayers! So many these days

You faiI to reaIise who is pIaying whom

Add to that the coIourfuI dresses, it`s a compIete circus

Test cricket is the reaI cricket

Five gIorious days. Five days

ActuaIIy, I and Nina... - Oh yes,

get him some ginger tea. - I`ve toId the maid

At our age, Mr Buddha, we must drink ginger tea, everyday

Stomach must be soIid, Iike RahuI Dravid

A waII, soIid

Go ahead, have it. So, the reaI cricket is Test cricket

You must`ve seen in 1961, EngIand vs AustraIia

Remember? CoIin Coudrey, Richie Benaud,

did you see? - I didn`t

Oh yes, we didn`t have TV in those days

I meant, the BBC radio commentary

Isn`t it? John AIott, Brian Johnston ... that was reaI commentary

ImpeccabIe EngIish, right words... isn`t it, dear?

Papa, in 1961...

Right, you weren`t born in 1961. Sorry

I must`ve been about 14 in 1961. What about you?

WeII... - Papa, the tea is getting coId!

Why don`t you have it?

So how is your wife and kids and everybody?

AII settIed in London, right? GrandchiIdren too

What`s your grandson`s name? - I`m not married yet

Gandhian father, reaIIy. He reduced me to nothing

I open my mouth to say something and he reminds me that I`m his age

At this rate, how do I teII him?

I can`t heIp it if I`m his age. - You are not his age

ImpIying? - He is just 58

Fifty-eight? - Yes

Six years younger to me? - Yes

And I want to marry his... no, I can`t do this anymore, it`s embarrassing

You taIk to him now, he is you father. - Come over here

What? - Come here

Fifty-eight...? - Stand before that piIIar

I am standing. - Inside. Come on

Join your hands now

Not Iike that... turn

Reverse? - This is the Ashoka PiIIar

It is said that if you join your hands,

you wiII get your wish

Nonsense. - Just try

Didn`t you find a better fooI? There are enough young men

AII boys, Greens. And boys reaIIy take time to grow up

Sometimes it takes even Ionger, Iike 64 years

Try... buck up

My wish is, you taIk to your father

Your wish isn`t granted. You are taIking to my father

TeII him to go take a waIk. - 6 am. WaIk

He was amazing. Dhoni is matchIess

Have you seen SaIim Durani in action? He used to hit sixes on demand

Mr Buddha!

Good morning. - HeIIo

Mr AgarwaI, Mr Jain, Mr Chopra

Mr Buddha

Since the Iast 27 years... - 25 years

Twenty-seven years! 16th January

We`ve been going out on morning waIks for the Iast 27 years, without faiI

You must aIso be having a senior citizen cIub in London

No

What is the power of your gIasses? - Power?

Power your spectacIes? - Oh, it`s designer...

EarIy morning waIk on grass without shoes reduces the power

Looks Iike with age Mr Buddha is getting into bIind faith

He`II waIk without shoes on green grass

Look at that!

We too Iived through youth,

but we had an aim, a mission

To serve our country. Not Iike them

They bIow up their father`s money first on fast food...

and then on Nike shoes to puII their weight down

That`s fitness. Imported fitness

Imported! - Nina doesn`t Iike the boys here

No way. I get a feeIing,

I have to import a boy

It`s about Nina, it`s important...

Imported son-in-Iaw

Times are changing, we must waIk with the worId

Of course. Join us

There was a time when miIIions gathered to kick the foreigners out, Mr Buddha

And today, to go abroad, miIIions of peopIe gather at the ConsuIate...

to get their visas. - AbsoIuteIy

WiII this foreign craze be rid of? No way

Even to enact Gandhiji`s roIe, we import a certain Ben KingsIey

Don`t we have our very own Naseeruddin Shah?

I can understand your pain. - The saddest part, Mr Buddha, is...

I couIdn`t see Bapu

He attained martyrdom in January and I was born in February

You must`ve certainIy seen him. Lucky you

OnIy Gandhiji? I`ve even seen his grandfather

My cooI Versace gIasses... your dad thinks they`re for my oId eyes

TeII me something. You bought it to impress me at the comedy theatre, right?

No. - Yes

No. - Hundred percent, yes

No

Ma wouId`ve fixed your oId man good

What a time to go on a piIgrimage! - You didn`t teII me Ma is here?

How about a ride, honey?

Damn you !

What did he say? - Let`s fix the oId man. Turn back

They are coming back

Let`s go. - No, wait

Let`s go. - Wait

As Iong as I can speak, I shaII protect you

As Iong as you can speak, you wiII taIk to my father

Your dear father has messed up my brains

Let`s eat some sour street stuff. - Sure

It`s too sweet. Excuse me...

Is it a sour dish or a sweet one?

It`s too sweet

It`s sour. - ShaII I show you how to make it?

ShaII I come in?

Let`s go home and make it

What an idea!

I`II woo your father with food

Okay, but do you know his Iikes?

I`m the chef of the best Indian restaurant in London. I know my job

Okay? Just chiII then

Just chiII. - I wiII

I know what my job is

So you just watch. Watch what I do to your dad

Mr Buddha is working very hard. What`s coming up?

Gourd?

BeII-pIant, potato... peas

Good

Get everything you have, I`II start

That`s aII

Looks Iike your restaurant is vegetarian

No chicken? - No. You foIIow Gandhiji`s ideaIs...

I`m a Gandhian throughout the week, but vegetarian onIy once a week. Tuesday

UnIess I have chicken, I don`t feeI Iike I have eaten anything

Long way to go before I turn vegan. My system is stiII working strong

Looks Iike Mr Buddha`s system has rusted

Seema, get yesterday`s chicken from the refrigerator

What a discipIe of Gandhiji! He wouId stress on vegetarian food

That oId diabetic eats chicken that is vegetarian

The oId man is not the probIem, Buddha is

Don`t feed him, make him drink. Forget your ideas,

just caII him over and teII him everything

Amrish Puri, Pran, K.N Singh,

Vat 69... I have even had the viIIains` drink

Try everything in Iife but never be a sIave to any habit

Once you become a sIave, it takes 200 years to gain independence

Once a whiIe doesn`t make a sIave out of you, doesn`t increase the sugar IeveI

Don`t you ever feeI IoneIy?

It`s aImost 25 years since Nina`s mother passed away

Never saw anyone after that?

What?

Never thought of marrying again?

No, Mr Buddha. ActuaIIy,

every age has its own purpose

PIay during chiIdhood, enjoy during youth,

then enjoy your married Iife, and in oId age...

controI, seIf-discipIine. Time to go

Prepare for the Iast journey. That`s it

Marrying again? What use marrying at our age?

No, no

I`m worried about Nina of course

Mr Buddha, you must be knowing some young men of about 35 in London

A good-Iooking boy, you know. PIease think about Nina

PIease think whiIe I go to the Ioo

Too much of soda

I want to marry your daughter

W... three times W

ScoundreI!

Who?

That swine wants to marry you

Disgusting

Even I want to marry him

What...?

What? What did you say?

How can you marry him? I won`t Iet you commit this mistake

He is your father`s age. - No. He`s six years oIder than you

I don`t approve of this aIIiance

ApprovaI? But who is asking you? We are teIIing you

AII right

Then Iet me aIso teII you. This is not happening when I`m aIive

So when are you Ieaving?

Sorry

Papa, what`s the probIem if your son-in-Iaw is your age?

You think he won`t respect you? Of course, he wiII

You think he won`t caII you Papa? Of course, he wiII

I`m thinking about you

I`m thinking about you !

Look my chiId, how Iong wiII he be aIive?

Five more years? Ten years? Afterwards?

Papa, I Iove Buddha, not his age

Rather than Iiving fifty years with someone I don`t Iove,

I`d prefer to Iive five or ten years with someone I Iove

Besides, who can foreteII someone`s age?

Mummy was younger than you but she died before you

Just shut up

Won`t you be happy with someone your age?

What are you raving about age, Papa?

Now I Iove someone who`s not my age and I can`t heIp it

That`s my destiny

You may consider it my bad Iuck or whatever

Let`s eat

Nina... stop!

Stop, I say!

Greens, what happened?

I`m your bad Iuck, eh?

Greens, what bad Iuck?

I wanted to make Iight of the matter, it was a sIip of tongue

The biggest truth aIways is a sIip of tongue, to make Iight of the matter

The truth is, I`m six years oIder to your father

The truth is, you are just 34

The truth is, after 34 IoneIy years, IoneIiness scares a woman

Because of that very apprehensiveness, you thought that if you dump me,

you won`t find another after two more years

That`s the harshest truth of our reIationship

Another truth. You can easiIy find a young man

So? - Go and marry someone your age

Do you know anyone?

Got any picture of him?

Goodbye! - C`mon Greens! What is this?

ShaII I serve food, sir?

Food?

Not even a drop of water untiI she drops him

What a stuffed stomach cannot achieve, an empty stomach wiII

Come on now... - Lady,

your father is not eating. - Oh heII

I`m coming

Got to go. If he doesn`t eat, it`II affect his sugar IeveI

Airport, pIease

Why airport? - This pickup doesn`t pIy to London

Go and feed your father. He`II find someone your age onIy if he Iives

Tears for your bad Iuck, eh? WeII?

Oh, for aII your favours, a 64 year-oId didn`t return any

Move

``O my Iove, ``

Cut that background music, wiII you? - ``I can`t Iive without you...``

Hi

What`s up? You sound weak

I`m coming back, I can`t carry it on

Come back, but for a probIem

With me, you wiII be a widow soon

Hey Sexy, widow is a term used for women

Correction. You wiII be a maIe widow

What`s your D VD score?

Four to go. WiII be over tonight

Four in a night?

Of course. I`m watching it in fast-forward

Why fast-forward? - There`s nothing in it

You conned me

How do you know what happens in aduIt movies?

This is what happens when a cartoon watcher goes to buy aduIt movies

Where is she?

Who?

Leg Kebab. You caII her Leg Kebab, don`t you?

I used to

Used to? And she used to caII you...?

Forget it. - TeII me

Greens. - So cute

You eat greens and you can see onIy grass

Apt name. Has Leg Kebab had a quarreI with Greens?

Hmm. - What does hmm transIate to?

You must`ve certainIy said something in a rage

What did I say? She is doing me a favour by marrying me

DarIing, what eIse wouId she do?

Everyone with you is doing you a favour

Am I so eviI? - The others are too good, that`s it

Where`s Leg Kebab? ApoIogise to her soon

Why apoIogise? - Sorry doesn`t reduce one`s height

Why don`t you come to India, Sexy? - It takes 9 hours to reach India

Who has time, boss? I have to finish four D VDs

Don`t waste my time, go and waste Leg Kebab`s time

ApoIogise to her. - AII right, there`s no hurry

Looks Iike you have a Iot of time

Lend me some time, pIease. - Hey Sexy

Don`t waste time, baby. Bye

Attention pIease

Due to fIoods of tears aII the runways have been shut

AII fIights to London have been canceIIed for a few days

PIease take the troubIe to come outside

Inconvenience caused is greatIy regretted

Hey Leg Kebab,

want some chicken?

Papa hasn`t eaten yet. - He wiII

Nimazuddin`s famous Karim Chicken Kebab

Did you go to Nimazuddin so Iate? - No

The chicken came on its own from Nimazuddin

How come the mere mention of chicken stop your tears?

C`mon

Papa...

come downstairs and eat something

Chicken. You Iove it, don`t you?

Get up

Get that man out first

Have it

WiII you drop him?

AII right. Then I`II Ieave this body

As you wish, Papa

Seema, tea...

Tea, sir. - Go!

``The enIightened one...``

``knows the pain of others``

``He does good to others, ``

``yet he does not Iet pride enter his mind``

``He toIerates and praises...``

``the entire worId, ``

``never criticizes anyone``

``His words and thoughts...``

``are pure``

``BIessed is your mother``

Hi

Greens, do something

Hasn`t eaten yet, stiII acting, eh?

If his sugar IeveI faIIs, he`II go into a coma. I`II be there

No, don`t come here, eIse...

For aII the things Gandhiji taught us, did he just Iearn this much?

Can`t heIp it

HoId him tight, open his mouth and force orange juice into it

I did try. Do something, Greens

Isn`t committing suicide stiII a crime in this country?

Can I heIp you?

Someone is trying to commit suicide, I want you to stop him

You mean... - Someone is attempting suicide,

I want you to stop him. - Okay...

you mean he hasn`t committed suicide yet, he wiII?

He`s trying. PIease stop him before he succeeds

You mean the person is on top of a buiIding and...

No. He`s in his own house

You mean, he`s hanging himseIf? Or has he taken sedatives...?

He`s not even taking sedatives

He has stopped eating. He`s not had anything since two days

He`s starving himseIf to death

You mean non-vioIence? - Nothing great about it

He`s actuaIIy threatening us, he doesn`t want his daughter to marry me

I can understand. - What can you understand?

I mean... your grief

In fact, I`m angry

It`s not a serious probIem, sir

Is there a minor soIution to this minor probIem?

Yes. TeII him, you are dumping his daughter,

you are not marrying her. He wiII eat

Then you can take the girI away and marry her quietIy in some tempIe

BriIIiant idea

If I wanted to do that, why`d I come to you?

Arrest him pIease. He can`t bIackmaiI us

We are IawfuIIy right, he is committing a crime

It`s an attempt to commit suicide. PIease arrest him for that,

feed him forcibIy and rid us of our worries

Sir... pIease forgive me

I`m heIpIess. If you say, I can go with you and advice him

But I can`t arrest him. I can`t arrest anyone...

who is starving and protesting non-vioIentIy

Besides, we consider such peopIe great

Nobody has escaped in our country after arresting a foIIower of non-vioIence

Give and take?

No sir. In this matter, we can take, but we cannot give. Sorry

How do I feed her father now?

HeIIo

Where`s my daughter-in-Iaw? - At her father`s

He has given up food. - What?

Let`s go. - Where?

You are a great chef, aren`t you ashamed?

Can`t you feed a hungry man? C`mon

Is he dead? - No. It`s onIy the second day

He`II survive for two more days. - Oh no, four more days at Ieast

At Ieast a week. - Wanna bet?

No, wait

HeIIo

HoIy water. Give him some

Sir pIease... - Don`t touch me

Don`t touch me

HoIy water!

Liberates your souI

Don`t worry, I`m not taking your girI away nor am I going to feed you

Excuse me... I`m taIking to you

I`m... sorry, I`m six years oIder to you, show me some respect

What`s your probIem? Same? Same oId... what wiII peopIe say?

I don`t think so

If you cared for peopIe, you wouIdn`t Iet her be singIe for 34 years

So, what-wiII-peopIe-say is not your probIem

You don`t care for others. Maybe you care for your daughter

Yes?

Worried about your daughter?

AIcohoIic, gambIer, wastreI, hopeIess ... I`m none of those

If you are worried about what`II happen to her after I die... I`m insured

She`II be taken care of. No probIem

Then what`s your probIem?

No, don`t... what`s your probIem?

What`s your probIem?

What is the probIem?

That, I am 30 years oIder to her?

OId women now are marrying young boys

We`re not breaking norms, we`re foIIowing traditions

No probIem there at aII. So, is the reaI probIem my age?

I`m over 21 years oId. PerfectIy IegaI marriageabIe age

No probIem there at aII. I`m 64 years oId, I`m...

Hey, is that your probIem?

64 years?

What is age, after aII?

This... this?

Body doesn`t determine a man`s age, mind does. It`s aII in the bIoody mind

And anyway, a man grows oId when he is no more interested in Iiving

I`ve just begun to Iove Iife, so me being 64 is not a probIem

Sixty-four years is not a probIem

PIease teII him to go

What? What? Drink some water and say cIearIy whatever you have to say

If you speak cIearIy, I`II hear cIearIy. Common sense

CouId common sense be your probIem?

No, common sense can`t be your probIem

Because you do have the sense that if you don`t drink water, you wiII die

If you die, you wiII Ieave your daughter`s hand

Two hours... peopIe wiII mourn for onIy two hours

PeopIe don`t have much time nowadays. Everyone wiII go home

I`II be the onIy one staying back to hoId your daughter`s arm. Damn

That much common sense you do have, hundred percent

ActuaIIy,

couId jeaIousy be your reaI probIem?

ActuaIIy

Come to think of it, your probIem is envy

You are jeaIous. Just pIain, simpIe jeaIous

Your phiIosophy of oId age was prayers, good and Bhaji

The thought of us together messed up your brains...

how can somebody`s oId age be so coIourfuI! It made you jeaIous, yes?

That`s it. That`s your probIem You are jeaIous

That`s his probIem. His probIem is that he is jeaIous

Don`t dare touch me! The man is pIain and simpIe jeaIous

JeaIous means?

You are doing what every man who is jeaIous of beauty does

Trying to destroy beauty

You thought, how can an oId man be so happy when I am myseIf ruing oId age!

Of course, you are jeaIous. You are just jeaIous

Get up and drink some water

I can see everything cIearIy now

C`mon, drink some water

JeaIousy makes one bIind

Gandhiji`s Satyagraha benefitted the country

This meIodrama of yours wiII onIy put your daughter in a Ioss, nothing eIse

You think if I go away she wiII marry someone eIse?

She won`t. Wanna bet?

She`II grow up but she`II stiII be singIe, onIy because of your jeaIousy

Three seconds... it takes onIy three seconds to marry

Where`s the vermiIIion?

Here it is

ShaII I appIy it?

ShaII I ?

ShaII I ?

See? To keep you aIive, she is kiIIing herseIf

And here you are... are you her father? Sure?

What a father! You are going through so much to snatch your daughter`s Iife

Dammit! You can`t be her father

He is not her father

What an acidic tongue! Like mine

Stop the car

``My IoneIy, Iost eyes...``

``Iook for you...``

``madIy``

``When wiII you come, ``

``asks my souI...``

``madIy``

``I`m here, ``

``where are you?``

``Listen to my cries``

That`s why I aIways teII you to go to the gym

Don`t you become a vegan

Greens,

you Ieft your chutney, didn`t you?

Where are you?

Qutub

I`m coming

Did the oId man agree?

WonderfuI

I couId die for this

A speII is cast

A wedding is happening here

Sexy has Ieft us, Buddha

She`s gone

She`s gone, Buddha. Just five minutes back

What happened?

Ma... I want Sexy

Ma, pIease heIp me

Ma, pIease heIp me

Ma, pIease heIp me join my hands for Sexy

My mistake, Ma. I`ve done a huge mistake

Ma, pIease heIp me. I want Sexy

I want Sexy

I want her... I want Sexy, Ma

Ma, I want Sexy

Hey Greens

Hey NoodIes, give me company

I know how much you Iove Sexy

Why must you reduce that Iove to tears?

These tears make the Iove fade away graduaIIy

Want to know how?

Why do we cry? Because our heart is heavy

Heavy-heavy

The heart is heavy because it`s fiIIed with Iove

Shedding tears makes the heart Iight

Why does it Iighten the heart? Because the Iove in the heart...

sIowIy and graduaIIy goes out in tears

The immense Iove that you have for Sexy,

why do you want to wash it away in tears?

You were happy that`s why you are sad now

So be happy-sad, not sad-sad

I wish I couId be Sexy

You are very very...

very sexy

So are you

Sir... - What?

Kheema Bhare SaIan Murg ka PuIao. Good

Uran?

RAAN. - Oh, raan

Where`s CoIgate? - CoIgate`s gone to India

Got a baby

SaIe raan... - Swine

WiII you smiIe now? You are very Iucky

One is Iucky to be served food by one`s daughter

But you are getting your son-in-Iaw to serve food for you

Tomorrow is India vs EngIand, first test match

At Lords

I got two tickets. You don`t Iike cricket

Are you coming, Ma? - Sure

Lords...? The Mecca of cricket!

I`ve been waiting for that game

Cricket, yeah

Can I go with you? - Yeah, sure