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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:20,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:02,229 Hey, Stifler, how come Steve got all the talent in your family? 4 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:05,858 Bite me, Fuck Face. Come on, man, you're missing it. 5 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,361 I've seen it a million times, you fucking ass-booger. 6 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:13,282 Steve is like a filmmaking genius. A true American hero. 7 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,908 The Tarantino of titties. 8 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,369 Yeah, there's just no way you could ever be this good. 9 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,996 Hey, look, I'm going to prove to Steve... 10 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,249 that I'm up to the standards of the Stiffmeister Productions. 11 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,002 After Steve sees my directing talent... 12 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,547 - little bro's joining the family business. - Is that what he said? 13 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:32,801 - He finally called you back? - No, but I left him another message. 14 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,723 He'll get back to me. It's only been three weeks. 15 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:44,146 Gentle-fucks, a toast. Tomorrow, we begin our reign as seniors. 16 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,460 Okay, people, let's take a break. 17 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:53,173 Remember, we play this at the end of the ceremony after Pomp and Circumstance. 18 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,509 I don't want anyone starting the wrong song again. 19 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:58,554 - Elyse, you need to relax, girl. - I'm fine. 20 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,807 I just... You know, it's my first time up here, and... 21 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,601 Yeah, but it's graduation. It ain't the Boston Pops. 22 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,896 This performance sets the tone for our senior year. I mean... 23 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:12,693 Look, you just remember that everybody here is pulling for you. 24 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,366 Dork. Dork. Dork. Goose. 25 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:23,954 - I like them feisty. - What're you doing here, Stifler? 26 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,665 We just want to say sayonara, and let you fuck-necks know... 27 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:31,670 we plan on winning the state title, now that the Stiffmeister's running the show. 28 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:35,757 - Adios, butt-hugger. - He's a bigger asshole than his brother. 29 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,180 Holy shit, Arrianna. 30 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,308 Matt, what're you doing here? 31 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:48,687 Oh, we just want to make sure the seniors have a very memorable last day. 32 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,732 That's cool. So, there's a campout tonight... 33 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,902 and it's only for the grads, but you could come. 34 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,654 Let me check my schedule. Hell, yeah. 35 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:02,784 Bring your sleeping bag, in case we decide to pitch a tent. 36 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,627 Check it out. Perfect timing. This is going to be classic. 37 00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:15,589 Time to initiate Operation Gradu-fuck-uation. 38 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,219 This is gonna be awesome. 39 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,137 - Shit. - Oh, yeah! Jackpot! 40 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,350 Payback, seniors. Don't get that pepper spray on your hands. 41 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,314 A graduation gift from the Stiffmeister. 42 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,403 Dude, we should've sprayed the diplomas. 43 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,282 Sorry, bandees. 44 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:51,208 Bite my nuts and call me Skippy. It's a Steely Dan. 45 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,711 - A what? - It's a double-headed dildo. 46 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,922 It's a dildo. It's a dildo. 47 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,800 - Holy shit. - It's even got a name. 48 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,553 Picardo? 49 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:06,056 - Spray that shit. - Fuck, no. Finders keepers. 50 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,726 Okay, everybody, Pomp and Circumstance. Five-minute warning. Let's go. 51 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,145 The bandees. Let's get out of here. 52 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,318 - Matt? - Leesy. 53 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,823 How they hanging? Still small and perky, I see. 54 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,325 - That's funny. - Yeah. 55 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:30,372 - What're you doing here, Matt? - I just came by to wish you good luck. 56 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,000 - You know, on the whole music thing. - Good luck? 57 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,878 You haven't said a word to me since the eighth grade. 58 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,006 Yeah, and that tone of voice is exactly the reason why. 59 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,466 So, I'm going to take off now. 60 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:49,725 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise to honor our graduates. 61 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,476 Douchebag's gonna miss it. 62 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,574 Oh, yes. 63 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,579 Are they crying? 64 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,708 Holy shit! 65 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,674 Yes! 66 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,906 Eat shit, seniors. 67 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,094 Uh oh! 68 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,721 Stifler! 69 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:16,061 I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time. 70 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,107 And now, the day of reckoning has come. 71 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,903 Hello, Matthew. 72 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,823 Your brother must be very proud. 73 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,744 You've continued his legacy. 74 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,914 Tormenting the innocent... 75 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,626 defiling all that is good and pure. 76 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,757 But now, you're going down. 77 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:50,053 What're you going to do, expel me, Shermanator? 78 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:54,391 I am a sophisticated counseling machine... 79 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,228 sent back in time to guide young and innocent minds. 80 00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:03,609 My primary directive is to protect the students of this institution... 81 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,362 and all, indeed all mankind... 82 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:11,033 from the menace that is another Stifler. 83 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,827 Behavior modification is required. 84 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,997 It's not too late to change your future. 85 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:23,712 No, expulsion would be too easy. 86 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:30,177 I know the perfect punishment to fit your crime. 87 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,807 Since you have so much trouble with the band... 88 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,685 perhaps you should make friends with them. 89 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,437 No fucking way. 90 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:46,902 Either you learn to be more considerate or you will be expelled. 91 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,238 No football. 92 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,406 No parties. 93 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:53,325 No spring break. 94 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,662 No graduation. 95 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,622 No college. 96 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,415 No coeds. 97 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,709 Comprende? 98 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,466 Pack your bags, Stifler. 99 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:12,803 - You're going to Band Camp. - Band Camp! 100 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,854 Bullshit, trash. 101 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,026 All right, Steve! Valley Girls Gone Wild. 102 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,821 Fuck. 103 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,841 Told you Steve'd get back to me. 104 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,301 I mean, it was just a postcard... 105 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,595 but it gave me a great idea. 106 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:55,804 Look... 107 00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:58,015 Steve's shit-head friend, Jim... 108 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,559 he married this freaking nympho band-geek, Michelle. 109 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,562 And he said all they do at Band Camp is screw 24/7. 110 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:07,774 Matt, buddy, you cannot screw band chicks. There are standards. 111 00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:12,571 I'm not talking about screwing them, scrotum-breath. 112 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:15,240 I'm talking about videotaping them. 113 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:18,869 People love to see dorks doing that freaky shit on hidden video. 114 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:22,789 Bandeez Gone Wild. Steve's gonna have some competition now... 115 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,542 because little bro's joining the family business. 116 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,424 Yeah, Spy Chest. 117 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,635 Secret Video. 118 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,513 Hell, yeah. 119 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:42,518 Color night vision? I'll take it. Shit. 120 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,486 How about tomorrow? This is going be great. 121 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:37,531 Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005. 122 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,535 Let's hear it from Lloyd Memorial High. 123 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,037 L- L-O-Y-D! 124 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,331 L- L-O-Y-D! 125 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,334 - Mount St. Marie. - Mount St. Marie! 126 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,878 Mount St. Marie! 127 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:52,588 East Great Falls High. 128 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,673 East Great Falls! 129 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,717 East Great Falls! 130 00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,888 And five-time defending Tall Oaks Cup Champion... 131 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,973 Beechwood Academy. 132 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,809 We're Number One! We're Number One! We're Number One! 133 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,102 Okay, settle down. 134 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:10,272 Now, as you know, each year... 135 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:13,400 one senior Tall Oaks composer is awarded... 136 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:17,988 a full scholarship to the prestigious Robards Conservatory. 137 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,240 Elyse, this is your year to win. 138 00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:23,535 This year, Dr. Susan Choi, president of Robards... 139 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:26,538 will judge the compositions herself. 140 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:31,126 And let's not forget to welcome the Tall Oaks Camp Counselors. 141 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:42,679 If you visit our infirmary, Nurse Sanders will take care of your every need. 142 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:49,937 Okay, so let's work hard, and may the best band win. 143 00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,029 You guys ready? 144 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,341 What the fuck? 145 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:22,094 Are you a rookie? You look lost. 146 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,223 Are you an asshole? You're hairy, and you smell like shit. 147 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:31,019 I'll ignore that kind of talk once. 148 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,314 We don't speak that way here. 149 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:38,861 Rookies are to wear their beanies at all times. Those are the rules. 150 00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:41,738 And who made you the mayor of Geek Town? 151 00:13:42,573 --> 00:13:46,702 I'm Brandon Vandecamp, senior drum major, Beechwood Academy... 152 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,537 and the president of the Tall Oaks Council. 153 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,624 Oh, and who are they, Mr. President? The First Lady and Vice Pussy? 154 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,132 Suits you well. 155 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:05,012 Golly, jeepers, thanks. Hey, you know, since I'm an official band geek and all... 156 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,347 can you guess what my favorite piece of music is? 157 00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:09,892 - I have no idea. - The Nutcracker. 158 00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,395 Step back, bitch. 159 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,856 Holy mother of Mozart. 160 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:18,901 This is bad. 161 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,653 You didn't know Jackie Chan was in the house, did you boys, huh? 162 00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:23,739 Stop that. Stop that now. 163 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,158 Those knob-slobbers started it. 164 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,869 That's not true, sir. We simply reminded him to wear his beanie. 165 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:31,330 And then he viciously assaulted Brandon's genitals. 166 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:35,876 - That's a lie, you dick-snot. - Oscar, Jimmy, escort this man to see... 167 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,462 - the Macro. - The what? 168 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:41,173 - You're dead. - Now, gentlemen. 169 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,176 God, Brandon, are you okay? 170 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,763 You want to tell me what the hell you're doing here, Stifler? 171 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,390 It don't matter, Big O. He ain't gonna be here long. 172 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:51,600 - Bitch! - Get over here. 173 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,894 Macro gonna fuck your ass up, fool. 174 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,563 - What the fuck's a macro? - The Macro. 175 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,857 Morale And Conflict Resolution Officer. 176 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,318 I heard this one time, this kid went into that office... 177 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,153 a baritone and came out a soprano. 178 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:06,198 - Clarinet up the ass backwards, yo. - What? 179 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,082 Pussies. 180 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,347 Oh, I'm sorry. 181 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,685 Frankenstein. Scary stuff. 182 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,355 I am just a Boris Karloff nut. 183 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,734 - I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein. - Holy shit, you're Jim's dad. 184 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:46,280 He screwed that redheaded nympho chick at my lake house. 185 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:50,075 - Oh, my, you're not a Stifler? - Yeah, I'm Steve's brother, Matt. 186 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:55,122 - There are two Stiflers? - Yes, sir. Hey, what're you doing here? 187 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:59,209 Oh, well, Jim is now out of the house, married to Michelle... 188 00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:02,462 that redheaded nympho chick that you spoke of. 189 00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:06,675 And, being a former Tall Oaks Counselor of the Year... 190 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:11,889 she was hired to be the Macro this summer, but she got pregnant. 191 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:15,684 No doubt due to the tendencies you alluded to earlier. 192 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,812 And I have a great rapport with young people... 193 00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:21,315 so I just stepped in and volunteered. 194 00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:24,943 That cretin is not in our band, and we are not responsible for his actions. 195 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,779 - Who pissed in your piccolo? - I'm sensing some hostility here. 196 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,198 - He poisoned my band. - What? 197 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:32,284 - I'm the Macro and it's my job to deal with... - What is he doing here? 198 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,787 - Matt Stifler is pure evil just like his brother. ... conflict. 199 00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,372 Thanks, Leesy. 200 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,754 She seems nice. 201 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:46,173 There are rules, of course. 202 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,966 - You will have to wear a beanie. - Yeah. 203 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,470 Oh, I know. It's a little silly, but it's tradition here... 204 00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:55,182 something you're familiar with, being on the football team, I'm sure... 205 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:58,810 with your elephant walks and circle jerks and drinking butt beer. 206 00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:01,230 But here, you just have to wear a silly little hat and... 207 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:03,857 - a somewhat stylish Tall Oaks T-shirt. - Yeah. 208 00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,527 So, just go with the flow, Matt... 209 00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,029 and you will have loads of fun... 210 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:12,449 and you'll be making new friends in no time. 211 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:22,334 Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz, tenor sax. 212 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:26,255 Cool! I'm a rookie here, too. 213 00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:30,425 I really wanted to come last year, but Computer Camp conflicted, and... 214 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:34,721 Oh, yeah, that was here when I arrived. I think it has your name on it. 215 00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,267 What is it? 216 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:43,689 Hi, welcome to Casa de Stifler. I'll be your host, Matt. 217 00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:47,401 Every day here, I'll make it my sincere goal not to have to kick your ass. 218 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,320 Allow me to show you to your new accommodations. 219 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,991 When I'm out here, you're in there. 220 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,244 Have a great day, fucko. 221 00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:58,745 I don't... 222 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,333 Okay... 223 00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:05,085 I'll just go and put this stuff away for you. 224 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,420 All right. Bandee-vision. 225 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:13,468 This is a 1978 Ohio State show... 226 00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,928 The Wizard Of Oz. 227 00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:18,765 The one where the sousaphone player forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey. 228 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,478 Yeah, right. Freaks. 229 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,941 Never fear, the Stiffmeister's here. 230 00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:31,195 Band Camp just got a whole lot better, ladies. 231 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,906 You're Steve Stifler's younger brother, aren't you? 232 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,824 - Young and hung. - Great. 233 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:39,286 - Could you send him a message for me? - No problem, senorita. 234 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:50,881 Well, it looks like Steve gave someone the old Stifler bang-and-boot. 235 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:55,260 - Is there a problem here? - No, everything's fine. 236 00:18:57,304 --> 00:19:00,557 - Have fun at Band Camp. - Thank you, I will. 237 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,897 - Later. - Word. 238 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,192 You need to start showing some respect around here, Stifler. 239 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:13,695 You need to show yourself back to your table, Big Dog. 240 00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,614 Out of my way, Yo. 241 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:21,036 Hola, chicas. Elyse, so good to see you again. 242 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:24,498 So, what's going on tonight? We gonna party, get a little crazy? 243 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,167 Who wants to rack up a few frequent fucker miles? 244 00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:30,337 - You know, you are the most... - Most sexy man ever to come to Band Camp. 245 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:34,466 - What? Chloe, he is so obnoxious. - Sexy obnoxious. 246 00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,636 - Thank you. - I'm tired of messing around with these... 247 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,638 dorky-ass nice guys... 248 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:42,015 and sensitive-artist types. 249 00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:46,937 - Let's party with a real hombre tonight. - Hell, yeah. That's me: 250 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:51,483 - 100% hombre. - All right, my room, 8:00. 251 00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:56,321 Great first day, campers. This is your Macro speaking... 252 00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:59,950 and, hey, morale couldn't have been higher today. 253 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,786 So hop in the sack, and get a good night's sleep because... 254 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:07,124 starting tomorrow, we have many, many exciting activities planned... 255 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:10,961 not the least of which is the race for the Tall Oaks Cup. 256 00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:13,172 So let the games begin. 257 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:17,426 Bandeez Gone Wild. Scene One. Party hombre. 258 00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:26,643 It's called Strip Trivia. We made it up. It's a Band Camp tradition. 259 00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:31,273 "Fourth and Long," "Sextuplets," "Banging Babes," and "Who Blew Me?" 260 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:34,568 This looks like my kind of game. Shall we play? 261 00:20:35,569 --> 00:20:38,572 You sit in the middle. Your game, my seating chart. 262 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:40,240 Sit a little closer, ladies. 263 00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:42,659 Don't be scared. It's all right. 264 00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:43,911 Okay... 265 00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:47,206 the rules are simple. You choose a category and a question... 266 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,750 and every time you miss, you strip. 267 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:50,918 Hell, yeah. 268 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:54,671 - I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?" - Good. 269 00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:02,429 I am a silver Stradivarius trumpet played by a Pulitzer Prize winner. 270 00:21:03,472 --> 00:21:04,806 Who blew me? 271 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,476 - Yeah, like I'd know. - Sorry. 272 00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,144 Lose the shoes, and pick again. 273 00:21:09,228 --> 00:21:11,188 You didn't tell me this shit was about music. 274 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,900 - Well, it is Band Camp, moron. - Hey, to be fair... 275 00:21:15,192 --> 00:21:18,237 maybe we should just give him a head start. 276 00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:23,492 All right. Yeah. 277 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,453 Okay, all right. All right. 278 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:30,958 What's wrong with you? Scared to show off the mosquito bites? 279 00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,794 I've matured since the fourth grade, Matt. Have you? 280 00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:36,922 Oh, I've got 10 pounds of dangling maturity right here, Leesy. 281 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,967 - Quit calling me that. - Okay, okay, moving on. 282 00:21:40,676 --> 00:21:44,930 - Matt, just pick another question, please. - All right, screw it. Whatever. 283 00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:47,766 There you go. Suck on that. 284 00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:52,062 - Fourth and Long. - Sure, no problem. 285 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:59,862 Of Beethoven's major symphonies, which has the longest fourth movement? 286 00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:02,656 All right, I see where this is going. 287 00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:05,450 Fine, you win. 288 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,164 I free ball, ladies. 289 00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:16,044 Got to let the big boys breathe. All right, we play by my rules now. 290 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:19,423 Football questions only. Prepare to strip, ladies. 291 00:22:20,174 --> 00:22:23,802 - Wait. But first, does anybody want a beer? - I do. 292 00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:29,224 The counselors have a secret stash in the fridge across the hall. 293 00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:33,270 - Would you mind? - Now we're talking about a fucking party. 294 00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,147 Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy. 295 00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:40,027 I mean, there's nobody around... 296 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:42,529 and we haven't seen your best side yet. 297 00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:51,371 Yes! We got him. 298 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:55,292 So busted. 299 00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:05,594 Man, big boys, wake up. 300 00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:08,180 Just gotta turn down the A.C. In there, huh? 301 00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:09,431 Good night, girls. 302 00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:19,441 Sorry, asshole, game's over. 303 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:24,071 Yeah, the big boys will love the long walk home. 304 00:23:24,947 --> 00:23:26,740 Room check, girls. 305 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,326 Oh, shit. 306 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,912 - Ditch his clothes. - Out the window. 307 00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:35,123 All right, who wants a long neck? 308 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:43,757 Nurse Sanders. 309 00:23:46,552 --> 00:23:49,054 - They set me up. - He attacked us with pepper spray... 310 00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:51,849 - and ruined our graduation. - I went there for a friendly game... 311 00:23:51,932 --> 00:23:53,016 Hold it. Hold it. Kids. 312 00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,143 Okay... 313 00:23:55,394 --> 00:23:57,145 where are your clothes? 314 00:23:59,815 --> 00:24:01,275 I have them. 315 00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:03,902 - May I ask why? - Well, they got me naked... 316 00:24:03,986 --> 00:24:07,239 - Oh, whatever. He took his own pants off... - And they stole my clothes. 317 00:24:07,322 --> 00:24:10,075 And I got stuck up there with Mrs. Doubtfire checking out my... 318 00:24:16,248 --> 00:24:18,208 Let me see if I have this straight. 319 00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:23,046 Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock who wears his penis on his forehead... 320 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:26,550 just to gain the approval of his sociopathic brother. 321 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:30,554 And Matt, you think Elyse is an uptight, geeky prude... 322 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:33,390 who needs to loosen up and get laid. 323 00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:36,685 Excuse the expression, dear. Is that close to being on the money? 324 00:24:38,437 --> 00:24:39,605 Look, kids... 325 00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:43,650 the only way to solve your differences... 326 00:24:44,318 --> 00:24:45,986 is by working together. 327 00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:48,947 So why don't you start tomorrow... 328 00:24:49,364 --> 00:24:52,451 by putting one foot in front of the other? 329 00:24:56,121 --> 00:24:57,915 Left flank hut. 330 00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:01,877 Turn and hut. 331 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:10,802 What the fuck! 332 00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:14,181 Band 10 hut! 333 00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:15,474 Holy shit. 334 00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:19,561 When I yell "band 10 hut," you snap firmly at attention. 335 00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:23,357 - You want to see me firmly at attention? - I already have. I wasn't impressed. 336 00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:27,486 Look... 337 00:25:28,362 --> 00:25:30,322 we've never beaten Beechwood, okay? 338 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,158 For some of us, it's our last shot. 339 00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,538 Just stop screwing up, okay? 340 00:25:37,621 --> 00:25:39,039 Yeah, asshole. 341 00:25:41,625 --> 00:25:43,877 Okay, people, back to work, let's go. Whatever. 342 00:25:43,961 --> 00:25:45,337 I don't need this shit. 343 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:47,881 Reset the block. Front ranks, right here. 344 00:26:01,854 --> 00:26:03,188 Housekeeping. 345 00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:33,051 Oscar, brought me something to drink? 346 00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:36,346 - Come on. - Good looking out, baby. 347 00:26:38,932 --> 00:26:40,684 Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz. 348 00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:43,896 So you finally came out of the closet. Good for you. 349 00:26:45,272 --> 00:26:47,816 Look, I want to know what goes on at night, all right? 350 00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:50,527 All the crazy shit. Naked pillow fights, whatever. 351 00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:54,114 Do I look like the guy that's in charge of the naked pillow fights, huh? 352 00:26:54,198 --> 00:26:55,741 It's my first time here. 353 00:26:55,824 --> 00:26:57,034 Notice the beanie? 354 00:26:57,117 --> 00:26:58,243 Yes. 355 00:26:59,203 --> 00:27:00,662 Yes, I do. 356 00:27:00,746 --> 00:27:04,124 Yes, speaking of beanies, where's yours, Stifler? 357 00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:06,418 You still not following the rules, huh? 358 00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,420 - Let's see. - Look. He's getting in trouble again. 359 00:27:08,504 --> 00:27:11,924 No standard-issue Tall Oaks T-shirt and no beanie. 360 00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:15,344 I believe that's two points from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson. 361 00:27:15,594 --> 00:27:17,471 Tell you what, Vande-cramp... 362 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:20,599 what if I took his beanie... 363 00:27:20,682 --> 00:27:23,435 and put it on my weenie? 364 00:27:23,519 --> 00:27:27,606 How do you like that Vande-cramp? It's on my head, right? 365 00:27:27,773 --> 00:27:30,025 Make it five points from Great Falls. 366 00:27:30,192 --> 00:27:31,485 Five points. 367 00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:34,738 Man, this place sucks donkey ass. 368 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,578 Put your beanie on, Son. 369 00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:49,378 Five points. 370 00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:15,028 Stay still. Stop moving. 371 00:28:15,112 --> 00:28:16,864 He ain't going nowhere now. 372 00:28:16,947 --> 00:28:20,284 This isn't your world. This is our world, and we don't want you in it. 373 00:28:20,367 --> 00:28:22,619 You already cost us five points in the standings. 374 00:28:22,703 --> 00:28:24,496 We can't have that. 375 00:28:24,746 --> 00:28:26,456 Set the man up with his beanie. 376 00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:36,133 Now you're representing, fool. 377 00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:37,509 And this toothpaste... 378 00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:40,304 this will make up for the pepper spray, asshole. 379 00:28:54,193 --> 00:28:55,736 Oh, shit. 380 00:28:56,445 --> 00:28:58,864 I'll get the paint thinner from maintenance. 381 00:29:00,449 --> 00:29:01,825 Animals. 382 00:29:12,294 --> 00:29:16,423 Matt, you were sent here... 383 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,300 to make a change. 384 00:29:18,467 --> 00:29:22,221 And, so far, you've only had your sinuses sanitized. So... 385 00:29:22,596 --> 00:29:25,015 I think it's time to try a new approach. 386 00:29:25,474 --> 00:29:27,267 Make some friends. 387 00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:30,854 Earn their trust. 388 00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:35,400 Why would I want to earn their trust? 389 00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:40,197 Good. 390 00:29:44,326 --> 00:29:46,411 Welcome to Stifler-vision. 391 00:29:46,495 --> 00:29:48,997 I think there's a cymbal class at 1:00. 392 00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:50,374 I hate that. 393 00:29:50,457 --> 00:29:52,668 Yeah, but it's better than the bass drum relay. 394 00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:54,002 Yeah, that's true. 395 00:29:58,549 --> 00:30:00,759 Yours look totally fantastic. 396 00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:04,096 Two for the price of one. My left one's bigger, see? 397 00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:07,099 Yeah, mine, too, baby. They can totally fix that. 398 00:30:07,182 --> 00:30:08,934 No! Want to see? 399 00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:11,603 I used to be... Lens fog. No! 400 00:30:22,906 --> 00:30:26,785 What is that thing, butt weasel? Yeah, it's the KR3, baby. 401 00:30:26,869 --> 00:30:30,539 The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic Rover. And you are so busted. 402 00:30:30,622 --> 00:30:34,209 - Hey, Oscar, somebody call the Macro. - Dude, please, shut up. 403 00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:38,046 Pull your panties out of your ass. I can help you with that chick. 404 00:30:41,842 --> 00:30:42,926 What chick? 405 00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:45,512 Dude, the one with all the tattoos. The Tubanator. 406 00:30:45,596 --> 00:30:47,055 Her name is Chloe. 407 00:30:47,681 --> 00:30:51,059 Come on, man. I can help. I'm the Stiffmeister. 408 00:30:51,143 --> 00:30:53,937 - Master of love and romance. - Bullshit. 409 00:30:54,104 --> 00:30:58,567 I nailed three cheerleaders in one week on spring break. College cheerleaders. 410 00:31:09,077 --> 00:31:11,580 And I know why your camera spritzed out. 411 00:31:14,291 --> 00:31:16,251 Dude, this thing is awesome. 412 00:31:16,835 --> 00:31:19,922 - You ever use this to look up chicks' skirts? - No. 413 00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:22,382 But I did use it to win the State Science Fair last year. 414 00:31:22,466 --> 00:31:24,760 And I'm hoping it gets me into MIT next fall. 415 00:31:24,843 --> 00:31:26,887 I really want to work for NASA. 416 00:31:27,095 --> 00:31:29,598 National Anal Sex Association? 417 00:31:29,806 --> 00:31:31,558 No it's Space... 418 00:31:32,351 --> 00:31:37,022 - There's an Anal Sex Association? - Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro. 419 00:31:38,607 --> 00:31:40,776 Wait, there's a Space Association? 420 00:31:42,319 --> 00:31:44,279 You were supposed to use this. 421 00:31:45,572 --> 00:31:49,785 - See, it's got an anti-fog lens. Duh. - Yeah, good. 422 00:31:50,869 --> 00:31:55,749 - Can the robot record? - All right, so, what are your intentions? 423 00:31:57,209 --> 00:31:59,711 With the video, I mean. What are you doing? 424 00:31:59,795 --> 00:32:01,338 Oh, it's just for fun. 425 00:32:01,630 --> 00:32:05,092 I mean, who doesn't like to look at hot naked chicks, right? 426 00:32:06,552 --> 00:32:09,137 Keep it between us, and I'll let you watch. 427 00:32:09,429 --> 00:32:13,058 Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe the pelvic noogie inside a week. 428 00:32:14,309 --> 00:32:16,311 Hey, Stifler. Phone. 429 00:32:16,478 --> 00:32:18,313 We're in Detroit! 430 00:32:18,939 --> 00:32:21,650 Locked into sweet Brazilian rum. 431 00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:24,486 I'm fucking fubar, man! 432 00:32:24,570 --> 00:32:28,907 I sent you rum today. Could come in handy in Dorksville. 433 00:32:28,991 --> 00:32:30,659 This place blows. 434 00:32:31,869 --> 00:32:33,579 Hey, my roommate, Dr. Robot... 435 00:32:33,662 --> 00:32:35,831 busted me taping some college chicks in the shower. 436 00:32:35,914 --> 00:32:38,041 So now I have to be all nice to him and shit. 437 00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:41,503 And I'm not getting any good footage 'cause these fucking bandees hate me. 438 00:32:43,213 --> 00:32:45,424 Think of it like trying to hook up with a virgin. 439 00:32:45,507 --> 00:32:49,094 Act like you give a shit about them until they bring you into the good stuff. 440 00:32:49,178 --> 00:32:51,054 Earn their trust? 441 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,640 Dude, that could work. 442 00:32:53,765 --> 00:32:56,310 I'll be an undercover bandee fucker. 443 00:32:57,227 --> 00:33:00,731 Hello, everyone. Isn't it a peachy day here at Band Camp? 444 00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:04,818 Band buds. How's it going? Yo. 445 00:33:05,569 --> 00:33:09,531 Hey, I just want to say thanks for the little wakeup call. You kidders. 446 00:33:10,657 --> 00:33:13,744 Hey, I can finally hear the music calling me, okay? 447 00:33:14,995 --> 00:33:17,831 There. Hear it? Yeah. Me, too. 448 00:33:18,081 --> 00:33:22,753 So I'm a totally new man, and... By the way, you both look great in pantyhose. 449 00:33:33,138 --> 00:33:36,433 - What are you doing? - Awaiting my marching lesson, ma'am. 450 00:33:36,517 --> 00:33:38,977 Look, Matt, I really don't have time for this right now. 451 00:33:39,061 --> 00:33:42,606 No, look, I figure I'm here, I might as well make the best of it. 452 00:33:42,689 --> 00:33:46,109 Matt, marching's hard, okay? It's not like throwing some football. 453 00:33:46,193 --> 00:33:49,863 - Oh, you ever thrown into double coverage? - You ever high-stepped in double time? 454 00:33:49,947 --> 00:33:53,450 Yes, ma'am, the time the cops chased us across Koreno's Creek. 455 00:33:54,076 --> 00:33:56,954 And you got so scared, you cried. 456 00:33:57,704 --> 00:34:01,792 - I had allergies. - It was winter, Mattie. 457 00:34:02,793 --> 00:34:06,255 Well, if you don't teach me to march, I might just cry again. 458 00:34:09,842 --> 00:34:11,009 Fine. 459 00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:15,347 Left foot on one and three, right foot on two and four. 460 00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:16,974 You have to do math? 461 00:34:25,566 --> 00:34:29,486 One, two, three, middle. One, two, three, line. 462 00:34:29,570 --> 00:34:31,780 Right foot on four. 463 00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:36,577 - Keep your step size even. - My what? 464 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,665 All right, there we go, little buddy. I'm gonna fix you up good. 465 00:34:43,125 --> 00:34:47,963 Any girl that knows how to play a tuba, she can do things. That's what Stifler says. 466 00:34:48,046 --> 00:34:50,674 I don't know what it means, but it's got to be good. 467 00:34:50,757 --> 00:34:52,009 You're good to go. 468 00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:53,635 Let's go find Chloe. 469 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:07,649 Holy shit. 470 00:35:08,901 --> 00:35:12,196 What the hell? Who's doing this? 471 00:35:14,531 --> 00:35:15,657 Take it. 472 00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:16,825 It's okay. 473 00:35:26,502 --> 00:35:30,130 - Thanks, little creepy machine. - You're welcome... 474 00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:32,216 beautiful lady. 475 00:35:47,523 --> 00:35:51,818 With my right, with my right, but I can also do it with my left, with my left. 476 00:35:55,322 --> 00:35:56,406 Bootie. 477 00:35:57,824 --> 00:35:58,951 Good game. 478 00:36:05,165 --> 00:36:07,000 You just touched my bootie. 479 00:36:14,049 --> 00:36:16,468 - What's that? - Your instrument. 480 00:36:16,927 --> 00:36:18,720 That's fucking gay. 481 00:36:19,763 --> 00:36:21,890 - I mean lame. - Good. 482 00:36:22,683 --> 00:36:25,561 Now, there are two positions. 483 00:36:26,186 --> 00:36:30,357 Carrying position, like this, and playing position, like this. 484 00:36:30,524 --> 00:36:32,234 Now when I call, "horns up"... 485 00:36:32,317 --> 00:36:34,403 you're gonna move your instrument out, and then... 486 00:36:34,486 --> 00:36:36,154 Hello, losers. 487 00:36:36,321 --> 00:36:40,117 Matt. Oh, my God. Matt, I am so sorry. 488 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,452 - I think I bit a hole in my tongue. - Oh, let me see. 489 00:36:42,536 --> 00:36:45,080 No, no hole. On today's... 490 00:36:45,163 --> 00:36:48,500 episode wasting time on lost causes. 491 00:36:49,209 --> 00:36:53,338 Speaking of which, I understand you composed the music to your show, Elyse... 492 00:36:53,422 --> 00:36:55,048 if you call that music. 493 00:36:55,132 --> 00:36:57,593 Yeah. That's right. I did. 494 00:36:57,676 --> 00:36:59,887 And who'd your daddy hire to compose yours? 495 00:36:59,970 --> 00:37:04,933 I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake. Robards Scholarship is mine. 496 00:37:05,434 --> 00:37:06,852 Like you need it. 497 00:37:07,144 --> 00:37:10,147 It's not a matter of need. It's a matter of want. 498 00:37:10,439 --> 00:37:13,859 - Yeah, I get what I want. - Why don't you shut the fuck up? 499 00:37:13,942 --> 00:37:15,194 Matt, don't. 500 00:37:16,236 --> 00:37:19,031 - What are you going to do? - Kick your ass. 501 00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:20,991 - Are you challenging me? - No. 502 00:37:21,074 --> 00:37:24,453 - Yeah, what if I am? - No, Brandon, that is not what he's doing. 503 00:37:24,536 --> 00:37:27,372 I accept. Amphitheatre, 5:00. 504 00:37:27,748 --> 00:37:30,626 It's been three years since I've been challenged. 505 00:37:30,876 --> 00:37:32,753 We got a challenge. 506 00:37:35,464 --> 00:37:37,883 I look forward to reminding people why. 507 00:37:38,675 --> 00:37:40,177 East Great Falls. 508 00:37:40,469 --> 00:37:42,596 I'll see you there, asshole. 509 00:37:44,473 --> 00:37:48,310 - Do you know what you just did? - Doesn't matter. He's going down. 510 00:37:48,393 --> 00:37:51,063 Matt, you challenged him to a duel. 511 00:37:51,355 --> 00:37:52,564 With swords? 512 00:37:53,190 --> 00:37:57,027 No, you idiot. You each get on stage and perform. 513 00:37:57,110 --> 00:37:59,154 And the crowd decides who wins. 514 00:37:59,655 --> 00:38:01,573 Can't we just do keg stands? 515 00:38:02,157 --> 00:38:06,578 Matt, this is serious, okay? Beechwood gets five points if he wins... 516 00:38:06,662 --> 00:38:09,957 which, you know, he will because he plays an instrument. 517 00:38:10,165 --> 00:38:11,959 Well, so do I. 518 00:38:12,501 --> 00:38:15,295 Let the Tall Oaks Battle Royale begin. 519 00:38:15,879 --> 00:38:18,757 The prize is five points towards the cup. 520 00:38:19,675 --> 00:38:21,677 Okay, Brandon, you're up first. 521 00:39:05,637 --> 00:39:06,930 Come on! 522 00:39:09,266 --> 00:39:11,810 Suck on that, bitch. 523 00:39:12,853 --> 00:39:14,146 Lame. 524 00:39:14,897 --> 00:39:16,481 This is so embarrassing. 525 00:39:16,565 --> 00:39:17,816 Okay, Brandon. 526 00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:19,526 Now you show him, Brandon. 527 00:39:37,461 --> 00:39:38,670 Take that! 528 00:39:50,307 --> 00:39:53,101 Well, seems this contest is over. 529 00:39:53,769 --> 00:39:56,146 Figures. We just lost five points. 530 00:39:58,774 --> 00:40:01,777 And the winner by forfeit is... 531 00:40:04,279 --> 00:40:05,948 But I know it's not his fault... 532 00:40:29,179 --> 00:40:30,931 You don't know the words. 533 00:40:52,703 --> 00:40:54,288 He should shave that. 534 00:40:57,124 --> 00:40:58,792 East Great Falls! 535 00:40:59,376 --> 00:41:01,211 East Great Falls! 536 00:41:01,503 --> 00:41:03,422 East Great Falls! 537 00:41:04,089 --> 00:41:05,716 East Great Falls! 538 00:41:08,886 --> 00:41:11,471 Okay, five points to Great Falls. 539 00:41:13,348 --> 00:41:15,350 All right, Great Falls! 540 00:41:17,728 --> 00:41:19,897 East Great Falls! 541 00:41:22,399 --> 00:41:23,275 East Great Falls! 542 00:41:24,318 --> 00:41:26,445 East Great Falls! 543 00:41:26,528 --> 00:41:28,530 East Great Falls! 544 00:41:30,115 --> 00:41:31,825 Hey, hey... 545 00:41:31,909 --> 00:41:33,994 - Hey. - What? 546 00:41:34,077 --> 00:41:36,663 - Are you really Scottish? - Fuck, no. 547 00:41:37,664 --> 00:41:39,041 My mum made me learn an instrument. 548 00:41:39,124 --> 00:41:41,001 That's the most annoying one I could think of. 549 00:41:41,084 --> 00:41:44,880 I think you were just born to squeeze sacks and blow pipes, Stifler. 550 00:41:45,088 --> 00:41:46,423 Hey, Oscar. 551 00:41:51,136 --> 00:41:53,805 How many other Oscars do you know? Go! 552 00:41:56,183 --> 00:41:58,602 - What's up? - Your drum line sounds pretty tight. 553 00:41:58,685 --> 00:41:59,770 Oh, thanks. 554 00:41:59,853 --> 00:42:01,897 You let me know if you want to learn some new moves. 555 00:42:02,105 --> 00:42:03,232 Really? 556 00:42:03,315 --> 00:42:06,026 - He's gonna screw it up. - He's definitely gonna screw it up. 557 00:42:07,569 --> 00:42:11,823 - Thanks for winning those points back. - I lost them. I had to get them back. 558 00:42:12,658 --> 00:42:15,744 Hey, guys, Sheree's gonna show me some moves. 559 00:42:16,286 --> 00:42:17,371 Hey, gang... 560 00:42:17,454 --> 00:42:21,834 just a little reminder that as the battle for the cup heats up, let's try to remember... 561 00:42:23,043 --> 00:42:26,588 to keep up that Tall Oaks spirit of fair play and friendly competition. 562 00:42:27,381 --> 00:42:29,758 We'll have enough spit for a six-pack. 563 00:42:33,011 --> 00:42:35,973 - Yeah, baby, you did me proud, son. - Thanks, J. Lo. 564 00:42:36,056 --> 00:42:37,516 It's cool. Big O? 565 00:42:37,891 --> 00:42:40,894 Quite a little show you put on yesterday, Stifler. 566 00:42:41,061 --> 00:42:43,897 You know, these plebes think you're some kind of hero. 567 00:42:43,981 --> 00:42:46,233 I don't know what a plebe is, Vande-creep. 568 00:42:46,316 --> 00:42:49,528 Didn't anybody tell you not to mess with the big dog while he's eating? 569 00:42:49,611 --> 00:42:52,364 It's mine, jerk-wad. Now will you give it back? 570 00:42:53,824 --> 00:42:57,077 - Dildos. - This is still my camp, asshole. 571 00:42:57,327 --> 00:42:59,872 - You're going down. - No, I'm not. 572 00:42:59,955 --> 00:43:01,081 But your mum did last night. 573 00:43:01,164 --> 00:43:04,501 Did she play the trumpet? Because she has really strong lips. 574 00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:06,044 That's right. 575 00:43:21,727 --> 00:43:22,895 Yummy. 576 00:43:26,648 --> 00:43:28,650 That's what I'm talking about. 577 00:43:29,818 --> 00:43:32,779 - What happened this time, Claire? - Well, I was working on my solo... 578 00:43:32,863 --> 00:43:34,323 and I hurt myself. 579 00:43:35,199 --> 00:43:37,034 I've been fucking poisoned. 580 00:43:38,327 --> 00:43:41,038 Ipecac is a natural herbal extract... 581 00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:44,166 that triggers the regurgitation reflex. 582 00:43:48,504 --> 00:43:51,215 Whatever's in there should be out soon enough. 583 00:43:51,507 --> 00:43:53,258 Like him, if we're lucky. 584 00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:58,889 Well, I'm pretty sure it's probably just something... 585 00:43:59,223 --> 00:44:03,602 you had for lunch, you know? I've got the same problem. Very sensitive stomach. 586 00:44:04,228 --> 00:44:07,648 I was at a banquet once. On the same plate, if you can believe it... 587 00:44:07,731 --> 00:44:12,945 they had creamed venison, squid fritters, and jellied pork. 588 00:44:18,575 --> 00:44:19,701 What? 589 00:44:30,921 --> 00:44:33,632 - Hey, what's up, crust bucket? - Come here, dude. Check this out. 590 00:44:33,715 --> 00:44:37,386 So, this afternoon, while the counselors were practicing for the talent show... 591 00:44:37,469 --> 00:44:40,055 I faked an asthma attack, and I changed both of the cameras. 592 00:44:40,138 --> 00:44:42,808 It's their talent show routine, au naturel. 593 00:44:43,183 --> 00:44:45,894 Dude, you filthy little cyberfucker. Shit. 594 00:44:46,728 --> 00:44:51,233 - Hey, I thought we were just going to watch. - Exactly, we may want to watch it again. 595 00:44:56,530 --> 00:45:01,410 Hey, so, I took your advice about Chloe. I used the Rover to deliver a soda. 596 00:45:01,994 --> 00:45:05,831 - That was your cool, crazy idea? - Yeah, I think she actually liked it. 597 00:45:05,914 --> 00:45:08,959 - Yeah, that sounds gay. - It's not gay. 598 00:45:10,502 --> 00:45:13,380 Anyway, there's this bonfire-slushee party tonight... 599 00:45:13,463 --> 00:45:16,717 and I really need to know Step Two in the Stiffmeister plan. 600 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:20,387 Slushee party. Really. 601 00:45:20,721 --> 00:45:22,306 Special delivery. 602 00:45:22,431 --> 00:45:24,183 Prepare to jam with the bearded clam. 603 00:45:25,434 --> 00:45:27,019 Get ready to cuddle the love puddle. 604 00:45:27,102 --> 00:45:30,439 The time has come for Dr. Robot to get laid. 605 00:45:30,647 --> 00:45:31,732 Get laid? 606 00:45:31,899 --> 00:45:34,568 I told you, trust the Stiffmeister. 607 00:45:34,818 --> 00:45:37,571 Meister means "master" in German. 608 00:45:38,488 --> 00:45:42,826 Get her drunk? That's the secret of the ages? That's Step Number Two? 609 00:45:42,910 --> 00:45:47,873 No, actually, it's Step Four. You don't have the balls for Two or the tongue for Three. 610 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,541 I've got the balls. 611 00:45:50,083 --> 00:45:52,628 Hey, you haven't heard Step Five yet. 612 00:45:56,423 --> 00:46:00,093 Born to be wild 613 00:46:03,764 --> 00:46:07,434 Well, I'm hot blooded Check it and see 614 00:46:07,809 --> 00:46:11,605 I've got a fever of 103 615 00:46:11,688 --> 00:46:14,483 Come on baby Do you do more than dance? 616 00:46:16,276 --> 00:46:19,071 - This is some good shit. - Don't enjoy it too much. 617 00:46:19,154 --> 00:46:22,616 - We have a big practice tomorrow, you guys. - Relax, Leesy. 618 00:46:23,033 --> 00:46:26,245 Suckle the tender fruits of Band Camp with your friends. 619 00:46:26,370 --> 00:46:30,165 Come on, Elyse. Cut loose a little bit. Have some fun. 620 00:46:30,249 --> 00:46:31,583 I am having fun. 621 00:46:31,667 --> 00:46:34,670 Hey, horn dog, let's go get some more of these before they run out. 622 00:46:34,753 --> 00:46:37,172 - All right. - Horn dog? 623 00:46:37,256 --> 00:46:41,802 Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick his dick into anything. It's unnatural. 624 00:46:42,803 --> 00:46:46,682 Check it, dawg. This one time at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe. 625 00:46:47,724 --> 00:46:50,102 - Really? - Blow in it for a while... 626 00:46:50,185 --> 00:46:54,815 get that wood nice and warm, slap on some valve oil and go to town, yo. 627 00:46:55,023 --> 00:46:57,192 Hey, maybe you should try a flute. 628 00:47:01,822 --> 00:47:04,324 Now's a good time to teach you those moves. 629 00:47:04,408 --> 00:47:05,450 Really? 630 00:47:11,081 --> 00:47:12,249 What? 631 00:47:26,722 --> 00:47:28,098 I know what you're doing. 632 00:47:28,182 --> 00:47:32,311 - You do? - It's what you always do. You're a fake. 633 00:47:32,561 --> 00:47:35,689 You do whatever it takes to be the centre of attention. 634 00:47:35,772 --> 00:47:39,651 Just like when we were kids, around me, you were regular old Matt... 635 00:47:39,985 --> 00:47:43,363 but around Steve and his friends, you were the Stiffmeister. 636 00:47:44,489 --> 00:47:46,158 Who're you going to be tonight? 637 00:47:46,241 --> 00:47:47,868 Hey, cheese dick... 638 00:47:47,951 --> 00:47:52,414 why don't you quit being such a fucking taint licker, and get me another slushee. 639 00:47:52,497 --> 00:47:54,458 Fucking puss monkey. 640 00:48:02,299 --> 00:48:04,885 You know what? I am going to have some fun. 641 00:48:12,893 --> 00:48:16,021 Fucking hoes, man. I don't get that shit. 642 00:48:16,104 --> 00:48:20,025 I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree. 643 00:48:20,108 --> 00:48:22,903 - What's up with that? - That cock spring is getting laid? 644 00:48:22,986 --> 00:48:25,989 True that. And here we are, the two dopest homeboys in camp... 645 00:48:26,073 --> 00:48:30,369 and we ain't got no prospects for our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg. 646 00:48:30,744 --> 00:48:32,788 Dude, I gotta see this. 647 00:48:36,416 --> 00:48:38,335 Use your hips more. Hips, like that? 648 00:48:38,418 --> 00:48:42,339 Yeah, now faster. Yeah. Like that. A circle. Like that. 649 00:48:42,422 --> 00:48:46,593 Crikey! The alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate. 650 00:48:46,677 --> 00:48:49,304 Will he survive this dangerous encounter... 651 00:48:49,555 --> 00:48:53,976 or will she satisfy her primal needs and then devour him for dinner? 652 00:48:54,268 --> 00:48:55,894 Stay tuned. 653 00:48:56,311 --> 00:49:00,190 I'm sorry. I'm really no good at this stuff. 654 00:49:00,274 --> 00:49:02,359 Relax. You're doing fine. 655 00:49:05,737 --> 00:49:07,239 This sucks. 656 00:49:07,573 --> 00:49:10,117 How's that feel? Oscar. 657 00:49:10,701 --> 00:49:12,870 Is that your drumstick poking me? 658 00:49:14,037 --> 00:49:15,998 I don't have my drumsticks. 659 00:49:16,081 --> 00:49:18,876 Are you standing up for me again, Oscar? 660 00:49:19,418 --> 00:49:21,128 It's getting hot. 661 00:49:21,420 --> 00:49:24,339 Smack my ass and call me cowboy. 662 00:49:25,132 --> 00:49:27,342 Hello, Double-D Sheree. 663 00:49:27,801 --> 00:49:29,553 Hips. Hips. 664 00:49:29,803 --> 00:49:31,471 - Use your hips. - Oh, yeah, hips. 665 00:49:31,555 --> 00:49:33,390 And step, and... 666 00:49:36,602 --> 00:49:37,728 Who knew? 667 00:49:38,770 --> 00:49:40,147 Wow. 668 00:49:43,108 --> 00:49:45,527 Yo, we at Tall Oaks Sipping on juice 669 00:49:45,611 --> 00:49:47,905 Got horns, trumpets Rhythm and flutes 670 00:49:47,988 --> 00:49:50,324 Great Falls laying it down 671 00:49:50,407 --> 00:49:52,951 Gonna ride fucking Beechwood out of the town 672 00:49:53,035 --> 00:49:55,412 J.C., what, rocking the bunch 673 00:49:55,495 --> 00:49:58,582 All tripped out on the fucking fruit punch 674 00:50:02,002 --> 00:50:05,380 - I just want to be respectful. - Oh, that's sweet. 675 00:50:05,631 --> 00:50:08,175 The only person who's gonna get laid around here. 676 00:50:17,351 --> 00:50:19,394 Hello, oboe. 677 00:50:36,286 --> 00:50:38,038 This is so cool. 678 00:50:39,581 --> 00:50:43,919 I hope I didn't scare you with the Rover and the soda. 679 00:50:44,044 --> 00:50:46,213 No, man, it was cute. 680 00:50:46,922 --> 00:50:50,509 Nobody's ever been that sweet to me in my whole life. 681 00:50:51,093 --> 00:50:52,678 Plus, to be honest... 682 00:50:53,095 --> 00:50:56,223 metal really turns me on. 683 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,169 Man, the shit's stuck. 684 00:51:49,693 --> 00:51:52,154 - Turn off the lights. - Damn, gangsta. 685 00:51:52,279 --> 00:51:54,948 - I was just fucking with you, dawg! - You... It's stuck. 686 00:51:55,032 --> 00:51:57,451 - Shit, you want help? - Don't touch me. 687 00:51:58,994 --> 00:52:00,078 Come on. 688 00:52:00,829 --> 00:52:02,414 Maybe you should blow on it. 689 00:52:02,497 --> 00:52:04,208 Maybe you should blow on it and I'll pull. 690 00:52:04,291 --> 00:52:06,460 Hell, no. Jimmy ain't putting his lips on that thing. 691 00:52:06,543 --> 00:52:08,003 Jimmy should be a team player. 692 00:52:08,086 --> 00:52:10,339 Try and relax, dawg. Not so hard. 693 00:52:10,422 --> 00:52:12,007 Oh, my God! 694 00:52:18,972 --> 00:52:22,476 - I was just trying to help him get it off, yo. - Dude, shut up. 695 00:52:22,559 --> 00:52:23,685 Whatever. 696 00:52:23,769 --> 00:52:25,812 He had an allergic reaction to the valve oil. 697 00:52:25,896 --> 00:52:28,565 The swelling should go down in a few minutes. 698 00:52:28,815 --> 00:52:32,945 These kinds of things would never happen with our old Macro. 699 00:52:53,966 --> 00:52:56,802 We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. 700 00:52:58,136 --> 00:53:00,722 So maybe it's the over-stimulated times... 701 00:53:00,806 --> 00:53:04,935 that we live in that causes young men to stick their... 702 00:53:05,644 --> 00:53:08,522 instruments in such odd places. 703 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,025 I knew a certain young man once... 704 00:53:12,109 --> 00:53:15,404 who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie. 705 00:53:15,571 --> 00:53:17,447 And he turned out just fine. 706 00:53:17,990 --> 00:53:20,909 So, you're perfectly normal... 707 00:53:22,035 --> 00:53:23,620 as these things go. 708 00:53:41,972 --> 00:53:45,100 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah. 709 00:53:45,184 --> 00:53:49,688 I'm so drunk right now. I'm probably going to forget about you... 710 00:53:51,148 --> 00:53:53,233 porking an oboe. 711 00:54:02,326 --> 00:54:04,077 I have six piercings. 712 00:54:05,537 --> 00:54:08,081 That doesn't include the ones on my face. 713 00:54:21,595 --> 00:54:23,013 Two right here... 714 00:54:25,390 --> 00:54:28,435 and four down here. 715 00:54:40,155 --> 00:54:42,115 Haven't seen that in a while. 716 00:54:42,491 --> 00:54:47,538 Yeah, well, no time for dance. It's all about band, band, band. 717 00:54:47,621 --> 00:54:49,623 No, I was talking about you having fun. 718 00:54:49,706 --> 00:54:53,252 - I have fun. I have fun all the time. - Yeah. 719 00:54:53,335 --> 00:54:56,046 I just get stressed out, you know. I mean... 720 00:54:56,713 --> 00:54:58,924 we graduate next year, and I don't know. 721 00:54:59,007 --> 00:55:01,051 I mean, I don't really talk about it all that much... 722 00:55:01,134 --> 00:55:04,096 because the cup is, like, a team thing, and... 723 00:55:04,179 --> 00:55:07,307 But winning the Robards Scholarship, I mean, that is like... 724 00:55:07,391 --> 00:55:09,101 my future, you know? And... 725 00:55:10,060 --> 00:55:12,896 Dr. Choi is coming. I mean... 726 00:55:13,063 --> 00:55:16,525 you don't understand. She's like famous... 727 00:55:16,984 --> 00:55:19,987 like holy-shit famous. And, sometimes, I just... 728 00:55:21,029 --> 00:55:22,739 I get really stressed out... 729 00:55:22,823 --> 00:55:26,660 and I calm myself down by going off and playing on my Picardo. 730 00:55:27,369 --> 00:55:30,080 Wait, you have... Picardo? 731 00:55:30,247 --> 00:55:32,833 It's just a cheapie, but I lost it. 732 00:55:33,166 --> 00:55:36,378 - Wait, if I somehow found this Picard thing... - You found it? 733 00:55:36,628 --> 00:55:38,547 - Maybe. - Give it back. 734 00:55:38,839 --> 00:55:40,382 If you let me watch. 735 00:55:41,341 --> 00:55:44,386 Okay, but it takes me a while to warm up. 736 00:55:44,469 --> 00:55:46,930 I have all the time in the world. 737 00:55:49,516 --> 00:55:50,601 Figures. 738 00:55:52,477 --> 00:55:55,063 But I'm going to have to be really drunk. 739 00:55:55,939 --> 00:55:59,276 I mean really drunk. Really drunk. 740 00:56:00,194 --> 00:56:01,236 Yes. 741 00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:03,322 Beat it, jerk off. 742 00:56:22,424 --> 00:56:24,760 Okay, people, let's take a break. 743 00:56:28,180 --> 00:56:30,307 We're all a little sluggish today. 744 00:56:32,100 --> 00:56:33,727 Man, we suck. 745 00:56:33,810 --> 00:56:37,356 Man, one night of fun was not worth losing a whole day of practice. 746 00:56:41,068 --> 00:56:42,569 Give me this thing. 747 00:56:43,362 --> 00:56:45,948 All right, listen up, you lazy bunch of lip shits. 748 00:56:46,031 --> 00:56:47,991 Those Beechwood plebes aren't taking breaks. 749 00:56:48,075 --> 00:56:50,994 We want to win this thing, we've gotta bust our asses. 750 00:56:51,328 --> 00:56:53,455 Come on, bitches. Back to work. 751 00:56:53,539 --> 00:56:56,333 - Matt, that's my job. - Grab your cocks and move your socks. 752 00:56:56,416 --> 00:56:58,544 We're at war here, people, war! 753 00:56:58,627 --> 00:57:02,005 Show some tits. Grow some balls. Hey, keep that thing warm for me. 754 00:57:02,089 --> 00:57:06,218 All right, now. What, you want to let Beechwood tittie-fuck us? I didn't think so. 755 00:57:06,301 --> 00:57:07,636 All right, Tall Oakers... 756 00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,764 we're in our final week. Time to put on our game faces. 757 00:57:10,848 --> 00:57:14,017 And time to strap yourselves in for a bumpy ride. 758 00:57:14,101 --> 00:57:16,061 I want the oboe, clarinet, black thingies... 759 00:57:16,144 --> 00:57:18,939 and we've got the rhythm section in a full-on blitz. 760 00:57:19,022 --> 00:57:21,191 - Are you with me, bandees? - Yeah! 761 00:57:21,275 --> 00:57:24,069 Competition for the Tall Oaks Cup is really heating up. 762 00:57:27,739 --> 00:57:29,241 Beechwood wins. 763 00:57:31,451 --> 00:57:32,494 Whatever. 764 00:57:32,578 --> 00:57:33,912 I told you, you should let me steer. 765 00:57:33,996 --> 00:57:35,664 Take that bitch home, man. 766 00:57:36,039 --> 00:57:40,419 Drive it in. Hey, you, fuck face, I don't even know where to start with you. 767 00:57:47,259 --> 00:57:50,888 Beechwood leads. Great Falls and Lloyd are tied for second. 768 00:57:50,971 --> 00:57:53,056 Beechwood licks nuts. Hut! 769 00:58:01,607 --> 00:58:03,859 Victory, East Great Falls. 770 00:58:07,237 --> 00:58:09,364 Right foot on line. 771 00:58:11,116 --> 00:58:13,160 Jimmy, you fucking lotion lover. 772 00:58:20,334 --> 00:58:22,961 East Great Falls by four points. 773 00:58:32,596 --> 00:58:34,431 Hey, butt pirates ahoy. 774 00:58:35,349 --> 00:58:38,852 Your little band may be leading in the competition, Stifler... 775 00:58:40,270 --> 00:58:42,898 but make sure to let us know if you get thirsty. 776 00:58:42,981 --> 00:58:45,234 Yeah, 'cause there's plenty of this. 777 00:58:50,572 --> 00:58:54,535 That's funny for you dorks. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah. 778 00:58:54,743 --> 00:58:57,371 Man, screw that challenge. I'm just gonna kick his ass. 779 00:58:57,454 --> 00:58:59,623 No, wait. I've got a better idea... 780 00:59:00,541 --> 00:59:02,584 if you think you're man enough. 781 00:59:14,638 --> 00:59:15,681 Yes. 782 00:59:15,764 --> 00:59:18,934 - Hey, you sure you can do this? - Hey, born to be a porn star, baby. 783 00:59:19,017 --> 00:59:20,519 Delivery on demand. 784 00:59:21,603 --> 00:59:24,648 When I get back, I'll be a million Stiflers lighter. 785 00:59:44,751 --> 00:59:46,795 Brandon, I think you're a really good drummer, so... 786 00:59:46,879 --> 00:59:47,963 Excuse me. 787 01:00:00,225 --> 01:00:01,560 Hey, guys... 788 01:00:01,643 --> 01:00:05,397 don't forget your sunscreen. Your bodies are your instruments. 789 01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:07,566 Yeah, you don't want to be chapped for your solos. 790 01:00:07,649 --> 01:00:09,985 No, we don't. Bye now. 791 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,492 What is that, 30? It's really thick. 792 01:00:27,836 --> 01:00:29,755 How's that taste, Vande-cock? 793 01:00:30,339 --> 01:00:32,591 Good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah. 794 01:00:32,674 --> 01:00:36,470 It's a cum-pletely new formula. 100% Stiffy juice... 795 01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:38,680 S.P.F. 69. 796 01:00:45,437 --> 01:00:46,688 Suck on that. 797 01:00:47,814 --> 01:00:49,441 - Yeah. - Stop, man. 798 01:00:49,525 --> 01:00:51,235 - Yeah. - Ernie. 799 01:00:51,318 --> 01:00:52,653 - Yeah. - Ernie. 800 01:01:02,037 --> 01:01:04,665 What you had before was way better than this. 801 01:01:04,748 --> 01:01:08,794 This sounds like your overactive honor-society brain. 802 01:01:09,253 --> 01:01:13,048 Instead of your nasty, wet... 803 01:01:13,882 --> 01:01:15,384 dirty-girl panties. 804 01:01:16,301 --> 01:01:18,303 It should be more spontaneous. 805 01:01:21,265 --> 01:01:22,599 Stop. 806 01:01:22,683 --> 01:01:25,519 Maybe you should hang out with your friend Matt a little bit more. 807 01:01:25,602 --> 01:01:26,645 Yeah, right. 808 01:01:26,728 --> 01:01:30,315 I know he's a dick and everything, but he's also got one. 809 01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:34,695 Make some love music, you know? And then your notes will just cum to you. 810 01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:38,532 - Oh, Matt! - Stop. 811 01:01:38,740 --> 01:01:40,242 Matt. Matt. 812 01:01:43,453 --> 01:01:45,914 Go long, you asshole. Go. 813 01:01:46,707 --> 01:01:48,584 Hey, Elyse. 814 01:01:49,835 --> 01:01:51,795 Throw it back. Come on. 815 01:01:52,588 --> 01:01:54,047 What you got? 816 01:02:01,722 --> 01:02:03,098 Missed. Sorry. 817 01:02:04,725 --> 01:02:06,435 Hey, if I have to ring the triangle... 818 01:02:06,518 --> 01:02:08,437 - you have to throw the football, all right? - Okay. 819 01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:10,397 Draw your arm back. There you go. 820 01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:14,234 Shoulder to your target. Right. Okay, now step forward. 821 01:02:14,318 --> 01:02:16,737 Come on we're not marching. One foot. 822 01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:19,698 - Okay. - You're fine. Ready? There you go. 823 01:02:19,948 --> 01:02:21,325 Draw the ball over your ear... 824 01:02:21,408 --> 01:02:24,578 and when you throw it, let it roll right off your fingers, all right? 825 01:02:25,787 --> 01:02:26,914 Okay. 826 01:02:27,247 --> 01:02:28,707 Come on, throw it. 827 01:02:34,630 --> 01:02:36,423 See? I taught you something. What? 828 01:02:36,507 --> 01:02:39,009 So every time I throw it, you're gonna run and go get it? 829 01:02:39,092 --> 01:02:40,844 That's generally how it works. 830 01:02:40,928 --> 01:02:42,763 Like playing fetch with my dog. 831 01:02:42,846 --> 01:02:46,642 - Yeah, except I don't lick my own balls. - You would if you could. 832 01:02:46,975 --> 01:02:48,018 Oh, yeah. 833 01:02:49,645 --> 01:02:50,812 Okay, again. 834 01:02:51,772 --> 01:02:52,981 Right here. 835 01:02:54,191 --> 01:02:56,818 Look, that one looks like a bunny. 836 01:02:57,152 --> 01:02:59,071 No, it doesn't. 837 01:03:00,405 --> 01:03:02,491 Maybe a bunny with one nut. 838 01:03:02,699 --> 01:03:05,452 - No, that's its tail. - Whatever you say. 839 01:03:08,830 --> 01:03:11,917 - You think we'll win this thing? - Hell, yeah, we will. 840 01:03:12,042 --> 01:03:16,338 - Lf you write in a bagpipe part. - Oh, God, I'll never make that mistake again. 841 01:03:16,421 --> 01:03:19,466 - What? - The eighth grade recital. 842 01:03:20,509 --> 01:03:22,970 You made me write in a part for you. 843 01:03:25,264 --> 01:03:27,224 You wore your kilt. 844 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:31,103 Yeah, Steve showed up with his friends. 845 01:03:31,728 --> 01:03:33,939 They gave me so much shit for that. 846 01:03:34,273 --> 01:03:36,650 I didn't come out of my room for days. 847 01:03:36,942 --> 01:03:40,153 You made it up to him by stealing all my underwear... 848 01:03:40,237 --> 01:03:42,614 so you could run them up the flagpole. 849 01:03:43,574 --> 01:03:45,409 Including my training bras. 850 01:03:48,495 --> 01:03:51,123 Okay, since we're having some big fucking Oprah moment here... 851 01:03:51,206 --> 01:03:53,250 I'm sorry about your underwear. 852 01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:55,002 And the diary. 853 01:03:57,754 --> 01:03:59,715 And all that other shit, too. 854 01:04:40,005 --> 01:04:41,131 That's it. 855 01:04:41,673 --> 01:04:44,551 - You started it. - This is gonna get me that scholarship. 856 01:04:44,635 --> 01:04:45,677 What? 857 01:04:45,761 --> 01:04:48,430 I've got to go write this down before I forget. 858 01:04:50,307 --> 01:04:51,683 Hey. Hey. Hey. 859 01:04:53,519 --> 01:04:55,562 Could we do this again tomorrow night? 860 01:04:55,646 --> 01:04:58,524 Yeah, sure. I'll see you here at sunset. 861 01:04:59,024 --> 01:05:00,359 Hey. 862 01:05:01,318 --> 01:05:03,779 Should I bring that Picardo thing? 863 01:05:03,862 --> 01:05:06,114 Okay, I'll do a solo for you. 864 01:05:16,291 --> 01:05:18,001 - What's up, Ernie? - Hey. 865 01:05:37,020 --> 01:05:39,022 It was that fugly nurse again. 866 01:05:54,121 --> 01:05:55,956 Oh, my God. 867 01:05:56,039 --> 01:05:57,374 Matt Stifler? 868 01:05:58,125 --> 01:06:02,796 - Holy shit, look at you. - Arrianna, what are you doing here? 869 01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:06,216 We practice our routine with the band. What are you doing here? 870 01:06:06,300 --> 01:06:08,719 I had to come. The school made me. 871 01:06:09,678 --> 01:06:13,098 - Does anybody know about this yet? - Oh, they do now. 872 01:06:14,141 --> 01:06:17,311 Hey, come on, no pictures. What're you, the papa-tit-zzy? 873 01:06:17,394 --> 01:06:19,146 - Holy shit, this is so hilarious. - Smile. 874 01:06:19,229 --> 01:06:23,066 Ladies. No time for fraternizing. 875 01:06:24,067 --> 01:06:28,155 Get the bags. Guess I'll see you around, bandee. 876 01:06:28,322 --> 01:06:32,576 What a dork. I'm going to email this to everybody. 877 01:06:54,932 --> 01:06:57,726 Girls, that was great. Percussion, take five. 878 01:06:57,809 --> 01:06:59,561 Horns, we've got to work on intonation. 879 01:06:59,645 --> 01:07:02,272 The final performance is tomorrow, you guys. 880 01:07:03,106 --> 01:07:04,942 They're so lame. 881 01:07:05,943 --> 01:07:08,320 You play the triangle. How cute. 882 01:07:09,154 --> 01:07:12,324 No, I don't. Look, I told you... 883 01:07:12,991 --> 01:07:14,326 - I had to... - I gotta go. 884 01:07:14,409 --> 01:07:17,746 - I don't socialize with bandees. - I'm not a fucking bandee. 885 01:07:18,121 --> 01:07:21,792 I'm not. Look. I've just been acting like a geek. 886 01:07:22,084 --> 01:07:25,045 I've been playing them so I could get them on hidden video. 887 01:07:25,128 --> 01:07:28,674 I've been secretly videotaping them doing all this crazy shit. 888 01:07:29,633 --> 01:07:32,636 - Really? - Yeah, I could show you. 889 01:07:35,264 --> 01:07:37,599 Okay, come by after dinner. 890 01:07:38,100 --> 01:07:40,727 I'll leave my pompoms in the window for you. 891 01:08:14,219 --> 01:08:16,930 - You're late. - Yeah, no shit. Open the window. 892 01:08:20,267 --> 01:08:22,186 Hold on. Be careful with it. 893 01:08:31,278 --> 01:08:34,531 All right, one condition before I show you the fruits of my labors. 894 01:08:34,615 --> 01:08:35,824 What's that? 895 01:08:36,158 --> 01:08:38,994 I want that picture on that camera phone erased. 896 01:08:50,631 --> 01:08:53,759 Nobody at school hears about the triangle or the beanie. 897 01:08:53,842 --> 01:08:56,470 I don't want anybody to think I'm a dorky-ass bandee. 898 01:08:56,553 --> 01:08:58,388 Fine. Like, now can we get on with it? 899 01:08:58,472 --> 01:09:01,934 As soon as you get rid of that picture of me on your phone. 900 01:09:16,323 --> 01:09:19,159 Are you going into town? Not tonight. I'm too tired. 901 01:09:19,243 --> 01:09:21,870 Besides, they're much hotter here. 902 01:09:21,954 --> 01:09:24,873 I know. It's a great crop this year. 903 01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:43,600 - There. Done deal. - Now can we see the video? 904 01:09:44,476 --> 01:09:46,103 Stiffmeister Productions... 905 01:09:46,186 --> 01:09:49,773 in association with its talented new director, Matthew Stifler... 906 01:09:49,857 --> 01:09:51,859 is happy to premier the unedited... 907 01:09:51,942 --> 01:09:56,405 unfiltered, and un-fucking-believable Bandeez Gone Wild. 908 01:09:57,739 --> 01:09:58,907 Oh, yeah. 909 01:10:03,161 --> 01:10:06,999 - Oh, my God. - That is unbelievable. 910 01:10:29,646 --> 01:10:31,982 - You're kidding me, right? - That's great. 911 01:10:33,442 --> 01:10:36,612 Danielle likes Jimmy, but she's like a foot taller than him. 912 01:10:36,695 --> 01:10:38,155 And wait till you hear this. 913 01:10:38,238 --> 01:10:40,824 Sheree slept with that big Oscar guy, the drummer. 914 01:10:40,908 --> 01:10:42,409 Said he was amazing. 915 01:10:42,993 --> 01:10:46,205 I hooked up with Brandon once. Some drummer. He has... 916 01:10:46,288 --> 01:10:48,123 no rhythm, and he can't even bang very long. 917 01:10:48,290 --> 01:10:50,083 Oh, my God. Are you serious? 918 01:10:50,167 --> 01:10:54,338 Yeah, he's a preemie. I'm not talking about the day he was born, either. 919 01:10:55,380 --> 01:10:58,133 Can you get my back? I think I got a little bit of sun today? 920 01:10:58,217 --> 01:10:59,259 Sure. 921 01:10:59,468 --> 01:11:02,387 Get this. He has one ball. 922 01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:05,307 No way. One ball. 923 01:11:06,433 --> 01:11:09,394 Yeah, that why he carries that big stick around everywhere. 924 01:11:09,478 --> 01:11:11,522 It's got his other ball on top. 925 01:11:14,733 --> 01:11:16,527 Shit, shit, oh, shit. 926 01:11:19,571 --> 01:11:21,073 What is that thing? 927 01:11:35,128 --> 01:11:36,463 Let's kill it. 928 01:11:37,881 --> 01:11:39,091 - Where'd he go? - There he is. 929 01:11:39,174 --> 01:11:40,300 Look out. 930 01:12:20,215 --> 01:12:22,134 This is going into the lake. 931 01:12:23,177 --> 01:12:25,679 No one's gonna know about your little video. 932 01:12:25,762 --> 01:12:28,390 'Cause the shit you got us doing on tape... 933 01:12:33,437 --> 01:12:37,107 So we got a contest to win tomorrow. And I don't want to see you. 934 01:12:37,482 --> 01:12:38,650 Understand? 935 01:12:44,781 --> 01:12:46,200 Did you help him? 936 01:13:11,183 --> 01:13:12,851 With East Great Falls in the lead... 937 01:13:12,935 --> 01:13:15,687 Beechwood has to win the Band Camp Playoffs. 938 01:13:15,812 --> 01:13:18,023 Direct yourselves to the marching field in one hour. 939 01:13:19,483 --> 01:13:22,861 Now, Dr. Choi, Brandon Vandecamp from Beechwood... 940 01:13:22,945 --> 01:13:25,239 is our best musician by far... 941 01:13:25,322 --> 01:13:30,327 and his father, Landon, is our best donor, also by far. 942 01:13:31,245 --> 01:13:35,499 Robards needs talented musicians as much as we need talented donors. 943 01:13:42,965 --> 01:13:44,299 Ipecac. 944 01:13:46,677 --> 01:13:49,888 - So how's it going? Are you having fun? - It's okay. 945 01:13:55,310 --> 01:13:57,521 How about some Ipecac, Vande-cooch? 946 01:14:00,440 --> 01:14:04,319 This herbal fucking extract will help you Beechwood fief play in tune, huh? 947 01:14:05,863 --> 01:14:06,905 Shit. 948 01:14:16,373 --> 01:14:18,792 I told you I don't want to see you anymore, Stifler. 949 01:14:18,876 --> 01:14:21,044 Some day, you'll thank me, asshole. 950 01:14:25,841 --> 01:14:28,552 - Orange? - Again? 951 01:14:29,094 --> 01:14:31,138 - Damn. - That orange shit is janky. 952 01:14:31,221 --> 01:14:33,140 I'm feeling grape, dawg. 953 01:14:36,018 --> 01:14:39,980 I don't care how many times they won. They're not getting the grape today. 954 01:14:40,063 --> 01:14:42,441 That's what I'm talking about. 955 01:14:44,109 --> 01:14:46,987 Your five-time defending champion... 956 01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:49,448 Beechwood Academy. 957 01:15:21,522 --> 01:15:24,775 - They're tight. - Yeah, they're better then ever this year. 958 01:15:24,858 --> 01:15:26,318 Okay, everybody. 959 01:15:26,818 --> 01:15:29,029 It's no surprise Beechwood is good. 960 01:15:29,404 --> 01:15:32,950 But this year is different. This year, we can beat them. 961 01:15:33,867 --> 01:15:37,079 We've worked hard, and we are good enough... 962 01:15:37,162 --> 01:15:39,748 and this is our time, so lets win the cup. 963 01:15:39,831 --> 01:15:41,834 Yeah! 964 01:16:16,743 --> 01:16:18,453 Beechwood Academy. 965 01:16:18,537 --> 01:16:22,082 Their music today was composed by senior drum major... 966 01:16:22,165 --> 01:16:24,126 Brandon Vandecamp. 967 01:16:24,293 --> 01:16:25,419 Beat that. 968 01:16:28,380 --> 01:16:31,925 East Great Falls, you may enter the field for competition. 969 01:16:49,234 --> 01:16:52,404 Band 10 hut. One, two, ready. Shit. 970 01:16:52,487 --> 01:16:54,072 Leesy, wait, no. 971 01:16:54,156 --> 01:16:56,200 No. Wait. 972 01:17:06,502 --> 01:17:08,837 You know, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. 973 01:17:08,921 --> 01:17:11,089 Not my shoes. Here we go. 974 01:17:15,928 --> 01:17:17,012 Stifler! 975 01:17:34,863 --> 01:17:37,115 You know, you're like your brother, Steve. 976 01:17:37,199 --> 01:17:40,827 And I don't think those are the shoes you should be so eager to fill. 977 01:17:40,911 --> 01:17:43,997 You know, the people Steve thought were his friends... 978 01:17:44,122 --> 01:17:46,750 - really didn't like him very much. - What? 979 01:17:46,834 --> 01:17:48,293 But I think you're different. 980 01:17:48,377 --> 01:17:52,631 I think people want to like you, Matt. You just make it really hard. 981 01:18:06,979 --> 01:18:10,858 Parting is such sweet sorrow. When you're a loser. 982 01:18:17,406 --> 01:18:21,702 Mr. Levenstein reports that there were a few incidents... 983 01:18:21,785 --> 01:18:23,078 at camp. 984 01:18:23,579 --> 01:18:26,081 But he also says that... 985 01:18:26,206 --> 01:18:29,960 you bonded with the band briefly. 986 01:18:34,006 --> 01:18:38,260 When school starts, you're going to be on a very short leash. 987 01:18:38,468 --> 01:18:42,222 Remember, the Shermanator sees it all. 988 01:18:43,599 --> 01:18:44,892 Be gone. 989 01:18:49,813 --> 01:18:52,024 Did everybody hate my brother? 990 01:19:03,368 --> 01:19:06,997 Stardate: August 21, 2005. 991 01:19:07,581 --> 01:19:09,958 Some progress made with Stiffy Junior. 992 01:19:10,375 --> 01:19:12,836 Behavior modification evident. 993 01:19:14,296 --> 01:19:16,048 Will continue to monitor. 994 01:19:16,673 --> 01:19:18,926 Shermanator out. 995 01:19:30,062 --> 01:19:32,523 A little "Double-D Sheree" action. 996 01:19:37,110 --> 01:19:38,987 Little bit of Dr. Robot. 997 01:19:40,822 --> 01:19:42,324 Crazy fucker. 998 01:20:50,517 --> 01:20:51,852 Hey, Stifler, where's your instrument? 999 01:20:51,935 --> 01:20:53,145 Dude, you're in the wrong uniform. 1000 01:20:53,228 --> 01:20:56,023 Screw them, dude. They're gonna freak out when they see the video. 1001 01:20:56,106 --> 01:20:58,317 Look, we thought that if we had an advance screening... 1002 01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:00,485 then everyone would see that you're not really a dork. 1003 01:21:00,569 --> 01:21:02,946 I can't. It's gone. 1004 01:21:03,989 --> 01:21:07,159 - What? - The video, man, I deleted it. 1005 01:21:08,160 --> 01:21:09,203 Why? 1006 01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:12,789 Guess little bro's quitting the family business. 1007 01:21:12,873 --> 01:21:14,374 Are you kidding me? 1008 01:21:17,920 --> 01:21:19,838 He went fucking bandee on us. 1009 01:21:36,230 --> 01:21:37,773 Hey, what's up, guys? 1010 01:21:38,565 --> 01:21:40,526 You a dead man, motherfucker. 1011 01:21:41,318 --> 01:21:43,320 - You, too, little man. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1012 01:21:43,654 --> 01:21:47,533 Dude, the purple puke was an accident. Somebody switched the coolers. 1013 01:21:52,246 --> 01:21:54,456 Hey, that orange shit is janky, yo. 1014 01:21:55,165 --> 01:22:00,003 Chloe, we never saw Elyse, you know, naked. 1015 01:22:00,754 --> 01:22:02,714 Matt turned off the computer. 1016 01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,176 So we're just supposed to forgive him now? 1017 01:22:07,261 --> 01:22:09,972 - He's still an asshole. - You're right. 1018 01:22:10,973 --> 01:22:12,307 I am an asshole. 1019 01:22:12,724 --> 01:22:14,977 I can't take back spying on you... 1020 01:22:15,060 --> 01:22:17,437 and I can't win that Bandee Cup thing. 1021 01:22:17,563 --> 01:22:20,440 But I can help someone get what she deserves. 1022 01:22:21,275 --> 01:22:23,443 I'm not asking you to forgive me. 1023 01:22:23,652 --> 01:22:26,238 Just help me help Elyse. 1024 01:22:37,165 --> 01:22:39,626 - I got the number. - Go ahead. 1025 01:22:39,710 --> 01:22:43,255 555-0171. 1026 01:22:45,257 --> 01:22:48,010 He shouldn't have been dumping Ipecac in anyone's cooler. 1027 01:22:48,093 --> 01:22:49,928 We could've won on our own. 1028 01:22:52,222 --> 01:22:56,518 I don't even care that he saw me on camera. Well, I mean I do, but... 1029 01:22:57,603 --> 01:22:59,855 Honey, this just came for you. 1030 01:23:03,609 --> 01:23:05,068 It's from Robards. 1031 01:23:06,528 --> 01:23:07,821 What's it say? 1032 01:23:09,573 --> 01:23:12,159 Dr. Choi wants to meet with me? 1033 01:23:30,010 --> 01:23:32,012 - Okay. - Okay. 1034 01:23:32,221 --> 01:23:34,139 - Okay. - Okay. 1035 01:23:35,807 --> 01:23:36,892 Bye. 1036 01:23:53,116 --> 01:23:55,536 Hi. Elyse Houston. 1037 01:23:56,745 --> 01:23:59,498 I have an appointment with Dr. Choi. 1038 01:24:00,582 --> 01:24:04,169 - You're not in the book. - No, there must be some mistake. See... 1039 01:24:06,129 --> 01:24:07,506 I have a letter. 1040 01:24:13,011 --> 01:24:14,888 This letter is, well... 1041 01:24:15,681 --> 01:24:16,890 It's a fake. 1042 01:24:17,391 --> 01:24:20,310 - This is not Dr. Choi's signature. - What? 1043 01:24:33,532 --> 01:24:34,658 Stifler. 1044 01:24:38,453 --> 01:24:40,706 You son of a bitch. 1045 01:24:42,374 --> 01:24:46,753 What? It wasn't enough for you to humiliate me at Band Camp? 1046 01:24:46,837 --> 01:24:49,506 Now you have to set me up here? 1047 01:25:09,943 --> 01:25:11,653 What's going on here? 1048 01:25:13,113 --> 01:25:14,573 This is my band. 1049 01:25:15,032 --> 01:25:16,909 And that's her music. 1050 01:26:15,217 --> 01:26:16,260 Well... 1051 01:26:16,844 --> 01:26:20,556 I've certainly seen some interesting attempts to gain admission... 1052 01:26:21,223 --> 01:26:22,850 but this is a first. 1053 01:26:24,393 --> 01:26:28,605 Excellent audition, Miss. Houston. Let's go discuss that scholarship. 1054 01:26:30,065 --> 01:26:31,567 I thought Brandon won. 1055 01:26:31,650 --> 01:26:34,987 No, Mr. Vandecamp was disqualified for plagiarism. 1056 01:26:35,070 --> 01:26:36,196 All right. 1057 01:26:38,407 --> 01:26:40,450 That's what I'm talking about, yo. 1058 01:26:44,621 --> 01:26:46,999 Oh, my God, you guys, that was amazing. 1059 01:26:47,583 --> 01:26:51,628 - Thank you so much. - Thank him. It was his idea. 1060 01:26:51,712 --> 01:26:52,754 Word. 1061 01:26:55,549 --> 01:26:59,178 - You planned all this? - With some friends. 1062 01:27:02,097 --> 01:27:03,390 Come here. 1063 01:27:08,020 --> 01:27:10,397 Oh, I believe this is yours. 1064 01:27:11,815 --> 01:27:12,983 You know... 1065 01:27:13,692 --> 01:27:17,738 Picardo is a brand of piccolo. 1066 01:27:18,697 --> 01:27:21,033 You really are an asshole sometimes... 1067 01:27:21,450 --> 01:27:22,492 Stiffy. 1068 01:27:32,000 --> 01:30:20,999 300MB UNiTED TEAM - sunmenghao 300mbunited.com | rapidpremium.net 1069 01:30:43,819 --> 01:30:45,612 Man, change the channel, yo. 1070 01:30:45,821 --> 01:30:48,866 Hook a brother up with some mad beats. 1071 01:30:49,116 --> 01:30:50,784 Will you cut that out? 1072 01:30:51,285 --> 01:30:53,412 Your name is James Hi Ping Chong. 1073 01:30:53,537 --> 01:30:55,205 Your dad owns a Chinese restaurant. 1074 01:30:55,289 --> 01:30:57,916 You live in the suburbs. You ain't never gonna be a gangsta. 1075 01:30:58,542 --> 01:30:59,585 Damn! 1076 01:31:02,254 --> 01:31:03,380 That's cold, dawg. 1077 01:31:03,405 --> 01:31:13,605 ->More Movies<- www.abegunnerz.blogspot.com 1078 01:31:14,305 --> 01:31:20,496 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 1078 01:31:21,305 --> 01:31:27,208 -= www.OpenSubtitles.org =- 85420

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