Original subtitles

Has anyone been to heaven?

You have to die first

in order to go to heaven.

But who can guarantee that everyone will go to heaven?

That is why I decided to create my own heaven.

Everyone, welcome to my heaven.

It is a heaven for single people.

The guy who seems to be having the time of his life

is my best friend, Bank.

For him, being single means having no rules.

His daily routine goes like this...

He spends the first eight hours

taking care of his showroom for imported cars.

He spends another eight hours

in the evening having fun.

He then becomes a party animal until the sun rises.

Are you jealous of this VIP bad boy yet?

Don't be jealous of him yet.

-This is how it goes down. -All right.

Now, you can be jealous of him.

And this is Trai.

Trai is both my senior and my best friend.

He owns a large shopping mall downtown.

He is also a brilliant businessman

and is very generous.

He's always willing to do everything for his girlfriend.

Everything was going great

until...

-I have a surprise for you. -What is it?

1 YEAR AGO

Okay, stand right here.

Five,

four,

three,

two,

one.

Kat.

Will you marry me?

I really can't marry you.

But because I don't want to embarrass you,

I'll say yes for now.

It has almost been a year,

but he still can't forget her.

As it turns out,

even though his body is in heaven,

everything still feels like hell to him because of his broken heart.

This is me.

I'm Ark.

I'm a professional photographer.

I do erotic photos,

also known as nude photos.

And due to my job and my reputation,

girls are always interested to meet me.

I believe that if heaven is being single,

then hell must be

-commitment. -Ark.

-What? -Get in the water. Come on!

-Get in! -Get in!

Bank!

-Trai! -What the heck, Trai?

Trai! What are you doing?

Don't jump. That's dangerous.

Kat!

Why did you leave me?

Don't jump.

Your head might hit the floor if you do.

Then that's good!

So I can die and go to heaven!

I want to find true love in heaven!

This pretty much sums up our lives.

The three bachelors.

Welcome to the story

of Bangkok Bachelors.

ARK: KING OF ALL BACHELORS

Most people know me as a photographer,

but only my close friends know

that I am Lone Wolf,

the administrator of Bachelors' Stories.

It's a page that gives guidance and advice to its followers.

Hello, all the wolves out there.

I got many requests on how to pick up girls in nightclubs.

Today, Lone Wolf is here to share a basic strategy.

Number one, introduce yourself in an interesting way.

Two, compliment her. She would be surprised that you notice the details.

Three, let her continue the conversation.

Four, touch her in a way that won't make her feel embarrassed.

Five, invite her for a meal outside the club.

But the most important point is

you don't have to have sex with her that night just to be cool.

Once you have her phone number,

you will get your chance eventually.

SHARE

Will this work for gay guys?

Will this work on older women?

Well, there are many types of women.

You can't assume that it will be the same for everyone.

I will try it.

Do you want to try it on me?

Can girls use it on guys?

BACHELORS' STORIES BY LONE WOLF

Ark!

What?

The model bailed.

-What? -Plus, her replacement

-has never taken nude photos. -And?

Only in traditional costumes. She brought her breast cloth.

She brought her breast cloth?

Why didn't you tell her everything about the job?

Come on.

It was on short notice.

The first model bailed, so I called the agency.

They sent her.

I guess it was kind of sudden.

They sent us a really conservative one.

Let me handle it. Okay?

I'm Ark. What's your name?

I'm Cindy.

Cindy, are you aware that the photo shoot today

requires you to take off all your clothes?

I don't think I can do it.

I've never done anything like this before.

Then keep them on for now.

But you have to meet me halfway, though.

Okay? Now,

put your right hand at the back of your neck.

Yes.

Keep your eyes on me, okay?

Winning a girl's heart is similar to photography.

We need to pay attention, and look through the lens to help them

-get comfortable. -Ark is the man.

Then, you press the shutter.

And this is the benefit of being single.

BANK: DO EVERYONE, BUT NOT ANYONE

I read your post, Lone Wolf.

Tonight, I want to test your basic strategy

against my improvisation of picking up girls in a club.

Good morning, Bank.

Get my car washed, please.

Bank.

It's bad. I want to do it now. Come on.

-Slow down. Where are we going? -This way.

You want it now? I want it, too.

Bank is a playboy who lives by the motto,

-"I do everyone, but not anyone." -Wow, a new location.

This worries both me and his mom

because he has sex with every secretary he has.

However, he doesn't know

that his mom hired a new secretary to change this habit.

-We can't do it here. -Come on.

We can't do it here.

PANG, GODDESS OF NERDS

I have something to tell you. Calm down, Bank.

Wait. Bank, calm down.

-Let me kiss you first. -No, I have to tell you something.

No, not today.

-I miss you. -I miss you, too. Just wait.

-Just once. -No, you can't.

-Not today, Bank. -I can't resist it anymore.

-Ma'am. -Jeez.

Shit.

I never thought I would see my son having sex in the restroom.

We have to replace all the tiles, because they are all broken.

Oh, my. Gross.

Jibjoong. The flush doesn't work either, right?

Right, sir.

Then, please take note of that.

We will change the toilet, too.

We might need to replace the lights

because these bulbs are too bright.

Bank, you are not a kid anymore.

Take care of yourself.

I put you in charge of this showroom.

Don't forget that you are my only son.

Everything will be yours

when I die.

Something is in my ears. I can't hear.

-Where are you, Mom? Hello? -Can you hear now?

From now on,

I'll be in charge of your life, so that you can finally act mature.

Excuse me. Ms. Orn-in is ready, ma'am.

-Call her in. -Okay.

You have to go work now.

I don't get to see you as much. I really want to be with you.

I'll let you go to work, then. I won't bother you anymore.

Give me one more. I still miss you.

I'm leaving now.

Hey!

Hey.

-Sorry, I didn't mean it. -Oh, no.

Are you Ms. Orn-in?

Yes.

What do you think of the guy that you just ran into?

I think he is a terrible person

without decorum or manners.

He doesn't deserve the opportunity to work in a good company like this.

But more importantly,

he is a pervert.

Gosh.

That guy

is my son.

Sorry?

Oh, no.

I'm so sorry.

Wait.

Where are you going?

I don't think I'll be able to work in this company anymore.

I'm hiring you

to be my son's secretary.

Sorry?

Why? Do you feel uncomfortable?

I'm just not confident that I will be able to work with your son, ma'am.

Exactly. That's why I chose you.

My son needs someone like you.

Let's do this first. Come.

One, two, three. Yes.

Yes.

-Same goes for you. -Yes.

He's such a pervert.

Should I accept the job offer?

TRAI: BACHELOR WHO CANNOT FORGET HIS EX

I really can't marry you.

Isn't that too much for you?

Sorry.

I don't want a trainer.

I have good intentions.

I've been seeing you here.

It is as if you work out with a grudge.

What are you talking about?

That's nonsense.

I'm sorry. I won't bother you then.

MIND, PSYCHIATRIST

This lady right here is Dr. Mind.

She's a psychiatrist.

We have known each other since college. We were in different departments,

but we were both members of the photography club.

She used to be optimistic about love

until she got dumped by so many guys that her heart turned cold.

She no longer believes in love.

Plus, she hates every guy in the world.

Fine. Go home by yourself, then.

So?

You broke up another couple?

What?

I just suggested that it's better to live happily.

See?

He almost died.

I'm worried.

Again, I won't do it.

Wait.

-Mind. -No.

Listen to my offer first.

You crazy doctor.

Mind!

Stop being so childish.

Talk to me.

It's just a case of a heartbroken man.

It's not interesting at all. It's boring.

Haven't you always believed

that every man in this world is incapable of being faithful?

Then prove to me that it's true.

Or is it that...

you are scared?

Are you not capable?

Fine. I'll do it.

I'll prove to you that men

are incapable of loving.

They will forget their ex as soon as they meet a new girl.

I'll transfer the first deposit to your account.

I had no choice,

but to hire her to disguise as a personal trainer

in order to slowly get close to him and cure him.

Trai doesn't believe that he is sick.

He will definitely not go to a psychiatrist.

I warned you.

Hey, look.

Slow down. Don't overdo it.

You should try changing your exercise routine.

Try something new, like a yoga class.

Sorry. I'm not interested.

Wait. Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Am I not attractive enough?

-Oh, okay. -Goodbye.

I'll see you around.

Think about it.

How amazing is it to be single like us?

Just look at this.

ID, AIR HOSTESS

Hey, look.

Look at her.

-Hello. -One glass of water, please.

-Sure. -She's my soulmate. I like her.

I think she's too simple.

I've been seeing wild girls lately.

I need someone simple to mix things up.

Hello.

-Do I know you? -What?

What?

If you don't, then let's get to know each other now.

It is fun to have someone to talk to,

but I actually want to be alone

today.

If you want to be alone,

let me buy you a drink

then I'll leave.

Otherwise,

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not leaving.

Sure.

Then, can I have a glass

of Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque Blanc de Blancs, please.

You were stuttering.

I don't think she is easy.

-How? -I went to talk to her

and she spoke some alien language back to me.

She wanted something that sounded French.

Something that sounds really strange.

For a simple woman like that,

it is better to use my basic strategy.

Oh, your basic strategy?

So can you show me how it's done?

I want to see how your basic strategy works.

Watch and learn.

One Perrier-Jouët, please.

Number one, introduce yourself in an interesting way.

Excuse me. My silly friend ordered your drink,

but it's not here yet.

I got worried.

-Here you go, sir. -Thank you. Here's the card.

No, thank you. Take mine.

Okay.

I would have ordered an expensive one if I knew you were going to pay for it.

Can I have a taste?

Go ahead.

Two, compliment her. She would be surprised that you notice the details.

You have beautiful teeth.

Do you believe that braces

can make girls more beautiful?

Personally, I think you look beautiful, with or without braces.

Three, let her continue the conversation.

How did you know I had braces?

It's very loud in here.

I can't really hear you.

Shall we move over there?

Four, touch her in a way that won't make her feel embarrassed.

Five, invite her for a meal outside the club.

If I didn't give you my hand,

I wouldn't have known that "Five, invite her for a meal"

is coming next.

Can't you think of your own strategy to pick up girls?

No?

Please stop making fun of me.

I'm embarrassed.

It's funny and also pitiful.

Can we just leave it at being pitiful?

Well, sure.

I'm just surprised

-That? -that there are guys

who actually believe in the lame strategy

that Lone Wolf from Bachelors' Stories mentioned.

Just don't forget me, okay?

-Master. -Yes.

Can you teach me how to pick up girls?

Don't make fun of me, Bank. You failed too.

Who failed? Weren't you the only one?

Come on. You will be okay, right?

Hello, look.

Do you want food, or do you want me?

You, of course.

Where did I park?

Oh, over there.

Walk me there.

-Tah, let me go. -Hey.

That is so hot.

-What is so hot? -Tah.

Why are you doing this?

I can be so much hotter.

Let's go.

-Tah. -Nice car.

I have many more at home.

Help!

Please, help me!

Don't be loud.

Hey, come on. You should have known why I brought you here.

I hate guys who hurt girls.

Wait here.

Help!

Help!

Tah, don't.

Please.

Hey.

You.

Don't be so nosy.

We're about to have sex.

He isn't my boyfriend.

Help me.

Why are you still here?

Are you insane?

Why are you interrupting us?

I don't care if you guys want to have sex.

But you can't force a girl like that.

So what? Do you want to fight?

Do you want to fight?

Calm down.

-So? -Hey...

I'll get you next time.

Bastard!

Are you all right?

You are shaking so much.

Do you want to go to the police?

Does shaking your head mean that you aren't all right

or you don't want the police?

Or both?

Hey.

You should calm down first.

Oh, no.

Whose car is this?

Mine.

This is my card.

Keep it.

Go get your car fixed and I'll pay for everything.

Okay?

Can you drive?

Yes.

I'll give you this

to defend yourself.

Bank,

can we go now?

Yes. What are we waiting for?

Let's go.

-Let's go. -Let's go.

Where do you want to go?

Pervert, you aren't actually so terrible after all.

Thank you,

Mr. Worathon.

Oh, no.

You are stupid.

How did you get here?

Wait.

Wait there. Let me pick up these oranges first.

Why did you follow me?

Let's get to the point. I'm lonely.

Can you keep me company here?

Come on.

Why so long? Are you looking for the world's greatest grape?

I like to choose things carefully.

Shall we have a competition?

Let's compete. Whoever picks

the sweeter grape wins.

Deal?

No. That's childish.

Do you even know how to choose?

Look at me. My dad owns a vineyard.

-Really? -I can tell in seconds

just by looking at the color and the texture.

Are we doing this or not?

The loser must put his or her head

in the ice of the seafood section for five minutes.

"Five minutes"?

Sure.

Watch and learn.

Well...

Excuse me. Could you tell us which grape is sweeter?

It's not sweet, right?

Try mine. Let me feed you.

Come here.

I can do it.

Oh, sorry. My laugh was too loud.

Tell her. Which grape was sweeter?

The lady's.

You can leave.

-Thank you so much. Goodbye. -Excuse me.

Hey.

Hey.

Can I wear my beanie?

Please, just for a while.

-Please. -Fine.

I pity you.

Thank you.

I better hurry, then.

Oh, my god.

Put your head in deeper.

-Come on. -Deeper.

It's deep. I can't breathe anymore.

Gosh.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Can you not record it?

-Don't. -Why not? I'm timing you.

-Stay still. -Put your phone down.

Hey.

-Excuse me. -Yes?

What are you doing?

I was putting my head on the ice.

Just now... Sorry.

The thing is, I lost a bet to this lady.

-Which lady? -Wait.

She left.

You want to buy them all?

-Do I need to buy all the fish? -Yes.

Yak.

You don't need to drive me home today.

I'll drive home myself.

-But, Trai, sir. -No.

Follow that Mercedes Benz.

Where is he going?

I'm going to sit here.

Are you sure?

Kat, don't. It's dangerous. Be careful.

Be careful, Kat.

Here.

You are such a kid.

Why is he standing there?

Great.

All I wanted were some oranges and a fish.

Now, I got a whole school of fish.

Jeez.

You left me alone.

Now, look at what I got.

A school of fish.

Oh, no.

Did your car break down?

Did it?

Do you need help?

Just so you know, I'm not giving you my phone number.

Come here. Let me help.

Can you start the car?

Wait a second.

Your battery terminals were loose,

which is why you couldn't start the car.

Sure!

Yes!

Great! Awesome!

Such a good move.

Thai people are so generous.

Damn!

Can't you at least thank me?

I'm Ark, by the way!

Damn it!

Is he going to commit suicide?

I love you.

I love you, too.

Hey.

No, don't do it! Mister!

Oh, no!

Damn it! Mister!

Mister!

Gosh! Mister!

Mister!

Help! A man jumped!

Help!

A man jumped! Can anyone hear me?

Jeez.

What?

My car seems to be working now.

To be honest,

I didn't expect a thank you from you.

I'm sorry. I'm not

in a good mood today.

Tell me a joke.

A joke, now?

Are you crazy?

What do I get out of telling you a joke?

Let's make a deal.

If you can make me laugh,

you can ask

for one wish.

Now?

Listen carefully.

It will be funny.

I used to go to an all-boys school.

I always placed last in everything.

So, I set a goal. Hey!

-Listen first. -Go ahead.

I set a goal that I would no longer come last anymore.

Do you know what I did?

I stuck out my tongue and touched my forehead.

I touched my forehead and I became a champion.

No, that is impossible.

Watch.

What's up?

What?

-Your friend jumped off the bridge! -Wait right there. I'm on my way.

We are at the hospital.

One wish, okay?

Don't forget me.

Buy me one more fish, too.

One wish, okay?

KRUNG SIAM ST. CARLOS HOSPITAL

-Kat! -Trai.

-Sir. -Trai.

How are you?

Ark, Bank...

You, too?

Mind was the one

who saw you jump off the bridge,

so she called for help.

Thank you.

If you weren't there,

I would have drowned in the river.

Then why did you try to commit suicide?

I didn't mean to jump.

I slipped.

-You slipped? -I slipped.

-Damn. -Well...

One New Year's Eve,

I went to watch the fireworks with Kat there.

I miss her.

So I climbed to watch the fireworks up there.

Excuse me. Who is this Kat?

Kat is Trai's ex-girlfriend.

She's the reason he is like this.

Do you now believe me that Trai really loves Kat?

Come on.

It is just a chemical reaction in the brain.

But to be honest, it is worrisome to leave him like this.

He might be undergoing depression.

It has almost been a year.

Why don't you believe that Trai truly loves Kat?

Because guys like you exist.

Burn.

Let me prove it to you. It's not hard at all.

How much influence can a girl have?

Love? Please.

Those who are obsessed with love might lose everything.

But the truth is, it all started with a single person.

Do you now see that, if you believe in love,

your life will be messed up and you will be weak?

Therefore, we must never surrender and let ourselves become weak.

We have to be strong and continue being single.

WHAT KIND OF WOMAN CAN A MAN NEVER LET GO OF?

POST

BACHELORS' STORIES

Subtitle Translation by Pet-chompoo Sa-ngarmangkang.