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00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:07,807
Captioning made possible by
Comedy central
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00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:09,542
♪ i'm going down
To south park ♪
3
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,711
♪ gonna have
Myself a time ♪
4
00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,446
♪ friendly faces
Everywhere ♪
5
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:15,181
♪ humble folks
Without temptation ♪
6
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,483
♪ going down
To south park ♪
7
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,218
♪ gonna leave my
Woes behind ♪
8
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:20,387
♪ ample parking
Day or night ♪
9
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:21,688
♪ people spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
10
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,989
♪ headin' on up
To south park ♪
11
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:25,158
♪ gonna see
If i can't unwind ♪
12
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:27,327
♪ ( muffled mumble
Muffled mumble ) ♪
13
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,496
♪ so come on down
To south park ♪
14
00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:32,098
♪ and meet some
Friends of mine ♪♪
15
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:43,610
( kyle )
Wow, dude.
16
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,345
( eric )
Man, indians
Have it good, huh ?
17
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,815
Now, eric, they're called
Native americans, remember ?
18
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:49,682
Show some respect.
19
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,851
Welcome to the
Three feathers casino.
20
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:54,454
I am your host,
Chief runswithpremise.
21
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,057
Please try your luck at
One of our many games.
22
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,358
Alright !
Let's go !
23
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:01,394
Ahp-- i am afraid minors cannot
Go onto the casino floor.
24
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,129
I'm not a miner,
Dumbass.
25
00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,431
You see a shovel
In my hand ?
26
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:07,033
You kids can enjoy our
Native american comedy club.
27
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,334
Alright, we're gonna
Hit the tables.
28
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:12,238
Why don't you kids run along
To the comedy club ?
29
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,407
Alright, time to
Win some money !
30
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,576
Ooh yeah,
Blackjack table !
31
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:17,877
Welcome to the
Blackjack table.
32
00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:20,914
May luck run through you like
The spirit of the buffalo.
33
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:22,649
Gerald, this is
$10 a hand !
34
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,685
Relax, sweetie--
I know how to count cards.
35
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:27,420
Well, i don't
Want to play here.
36
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,288
Yeah, come on,
Sheila,
37
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,023
Let's go to
The nickel slots.
38
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,324
Ooh, the nickel slots,
39
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:33,059
You might win
The $30 jackpot !
40
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:36,963
Ah, women, huh ?
God i hate 'em.
41
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:40,433
Alright, time to show these
People how to gamble !
42
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,602
( announcer )
Welcome to the three feathers
Comedy club.
43
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:46,072
Please put your hands together
For johnny manymoons !
44
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:49,109
What is native american
Comedy anyway ?
45
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,145
Thank you, thank you.
46
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:55,615
Bear walked into
A bar.
47
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:59,953
Bear said to deer,
"may i please...
48
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,122
Have a drink ?"
49
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,724
And so
Deer said to bear
50
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,459
"why the big pause ?"
51
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:08,194
( drum thump )
52
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,929
( indian war chanting )
Ha ha ha ha !
53
00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:12,532
Ha ha ha ha !
Ha ha ha ha !
54
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:17,303
Many moons ago, pony and
Eagle walked up to coyote.
55
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:20,773
Pony said to coyote,
"i am very mad at eagle.
56
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:23,376
Will you yell at him
For me ?"
57
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,111
Coyote said to pony,
58
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,148
"why can you not
Yell yourself ?"
59
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,449
And pony replied,
60
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,618
"because i am
A little horse."
61
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,353
( drum thump )
62
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,955
Ha ha ha ha !
Ha ha ha ha !
63
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:39,859
How's it goin',
Gerald ?
64
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:41,161
Oh, not so good.
65
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:42,462
Yeah, i know
What you mean.
66
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:43,763
I'm down 300 bucks.
67
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,498
Yeah, i'm down 26,000.
68
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,799
Yeah, well,
Maybe we should--
69
00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:48,101
Wait-- $26,000 ?!
70
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:50,270
I forgot to tell you,
I have a gambling problem.
71
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,005
Gerald, 26,000-- !
72
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,174
Shh-- i have to win it back
Before sheila finds out !
73
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,475
Where did you get
That kind of money ?
74
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,210
The casino gave me credit.
75
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,511
I put the house up
As collateral.
76
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,812
But i still have
This $10 chip !
77
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,981
Dealer 21.
Sorry.
78
00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:05,018
That's it,
I'm destitute...
79
00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:06,319
Loan me money !
80
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:07,620
You've gotta have
Money in the cup !
81
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:08,922
What's in the cup ?
82
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:09,789
Just six quarters !
83
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,090
Oh god.
Oh jesus.
84
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:12,825
Thank you for playing
At three feathers.
85
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:15,428
May your life be filled with
The song of the sparrow.
86
00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:18,464
Oh, shove the song of the
Sparrow up your ass !
87
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:21,935
How am i gonna
Tell my family ?
88
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,537
How do i tell them that tomorrow
We have to pack up our things
89
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,706
And get out of
The house ?
90
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,007
There's daddy !
91
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:29,742
Oh, jesus.
92
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:30,610
Where have
You guys been ?
93
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:31,911
We've been
Looking all over.
94
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,646
Yeah, come on, dad,
This place sucks !
95
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:34,948
I wanna go !
96
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,249
What--
What did you say ?
97
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,984
I said
I wanna leave !
98
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,719
Oh, you wanna leave, huh ?!
99
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,454
Okay, fine, kyle,
When we get home
100
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:43,623
We'll just pack up our things,
Load 'em in the car
101
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:44,924
And we'll leave !
102
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:46,659
What ?
No, no, i mean--
103
00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:48,394
No, no, no, if you wanna
Leave south park, fine !
104
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,563
Tomorrow we're leaving !
105
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,864
Gerald, what are you
Talking about ?
106
00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:54,467
Oh, you heard him, sheila--
Kyle wants to leave.
107
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:57,937
Our nice old house doesn't
"interest" kyle anymore.
108
00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,106
Well, i'm calling a moving
Company right now !
109
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:03,576
You shouldn't be
Such a dick, dude.
110
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,745
What's wrong with gerald ?
111
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,781
He... He lost his house
To the native americans.
112
00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:10,083
What ?
113
00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:12,252
But don't the native americans
Know he has nowhere else to go ?
114
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,288
They don't care.
115
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:20,059
Look at them,
Small-minded idiots
116
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:21,794
Pouring their
Life's savings away.
117
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,096
Their cash flows
Out of them
118
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:24,831
Like diarrhea
From the buffalo.
119
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,867
Yes, but we have milked these
Simple mountain folk almost dry.
120
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:30,470
If we really
Want to see cash flow
121
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,072
We need to bring in
City people, from denver.
122
00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,807
Yes...
123
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:37,410
It is time for us to
Implement our plan !
124
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:41,314
A super highway, built from
Denver right to our casino !
125
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:44,350
And we do we do about the
Small town of south park
126
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,519
That lies in the
Highway's way ?
127
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:47,820
Simple...
128
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:51,724
We buy it
And we demolish it.
129
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,893
( chanting laugh )
Ha ha ha ha !
Ha ha ha ha !
130
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:56,062
Ha ha ha ha !
Ha ha ha ha !
131
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:59,098
And that's really
All i can tell you.
132
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,833
The town of south park
Is going to be leveled
133
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,870
In order to make way for
A 12-lane super highway.
134
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,605
But how can they
Do that ?
135
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,340
The native americans
Have purchased the land
136
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:08,641
Out from under us.
137
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:10,810
Tomorrow they're buying
The last of what they need
138
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,111
To have
Complete ownership.
139
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:13,413
Well, can't we
Stop them ?
140
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,714
Let's call the bank !
141
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,449
The native americans
Bought the bank.
142
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,750
Oh my god !
143
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,485
Now look, it isn't
All horrible.
144
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:20,787
The native americans are
Offering you retail values
145
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,088
On your homes.
146
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:23,823
No, screw that !
147
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:24,691
We'll just pool
Our money together
148
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,426
And buy the town
Ourselves !
149
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,161
That's right !
Yeah !
150
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,896
Yeah, let the south park
People own south park !
151
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,631
Yeah !
152
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:32,932
How much do we
Have to raise, mayor ?
153
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:37,704
Three hundred
Thousand dollars.
154
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,174
Oh, never mind.
155
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,210
How can they
Do that, huh ?
156
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,511
How can they make us
All move away ?
157
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,680
Because they're rich,
Greedy-ass indians.
158
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,548
Native americans.
159
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:52,018
Our whole town, gone...
160
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,620
We've had such
Great times here...
161
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:56,789
( screams of mayhem )
162
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,067
We can't let them
Do it, you guys !
163
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,670
We have to find a way to
Stop those native americans !
164
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,971
Yeah !
165
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,272
Yeah,
This is our town !
166
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:14,574
We shouldn't have to make
A bunch of new friends
167
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:15,875
Somewhere else,
We're a team !
168
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:16,743
Yeah, that's right !
169
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,044
That's right !
170
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,345
Yeah,
We're a team.
171
00:06:19,345 --> 00:06:22,382
We just have to figure out
A way to raise $300,000.
172
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,683
Wait a minute !
I've got it, you guys !
173
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,285
We can get kyle
Infected with aids
174
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:27,587
And then start
A charity organization
175
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,322
That we steal
Money from !
176
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,491
Come on, let's go !
177
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:37,997
No ? We can't
Give kyle aids ?
178
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,732
We need something that will
Get us money tomorrow.
179
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,901
Hey, i know,
How about a dog parade ?
180
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,202
Dog parade ?
181
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,371
Yeah, we dress up all our
Dogs in little outfits
182
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:46,672
And parade them
Down the street.
183
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,408
It'd be so adorable !
184
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,143
How do we make $300,000
Doing that ?
185
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,878
Oh... Well, we could
Sell tickets
186
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,179
To our moms and dads !
187
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,914
Our moms and dads are the ones
Who need money, butters !!
188
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,083
Oh...
189
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,119
Maybe give
Kyle aids, huh ?
190
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,288
Lookin' a little
Better now.
191
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,758
Oh gerald,
I can't watch !
192
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,927
How can you do this
To people ?
193
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:11,831
We're sorry, but if we do not
Build a super highway,
194
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,867
Our casino might stop
Seeing profits.
195
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:16,602
There's more to life
Than profits.
196
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,205
Like what ?
197
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,374
Like, you know...
Slurpees and stuff.
198
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:25,711
Well, come on, honey.
199
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:27,880
I guess we should start
Packing up our things as well.
200
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,917
Yeah, so long,
South park.
201
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,085
Mom ! Dad !
202
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:34,821
We figured out a way
We could raise $300,000 !
203
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:36,122
A dog parade ?
204
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:37,423
No !
205
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,592
Stan, we've all tried
To raise money
206
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,327
But we only raised
$10,000
207
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,062
And the deadline
Is tomorrow.
208
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,797
I know, so how about
We take the $10,000
209
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,532
Back to the
Indian casino ?
210
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:47,400
Tell them, kyle.
211
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,002
The odds on a single number
In roulette are 35 to 1.
212
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:53,906
That means with a $10,000 bet
You win 350,000 !
213
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:55,208
Boys,
That's ridiculous.
214
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,943
Look, we've got
Nothing to lose.
215
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,244
What do you guys think ?
216
00:07:58,678 --> 00:07:59,979
It's a long shot.
217
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,883
Yeah, but its the only shot
We've got to save our town.
218
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:09,522
"the residents of south park
Had hoped to raise $300,000
219
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:12,124
"but in the end managed
To raise only 10.
220
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,860
"the loss of their town
May be imminent
221
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,161
For the poor people
Of south park."
222
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,763
Aww, i fink i'm going
To cwyyy !
223
00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:19,932
Ha ha ha ha !
Ha ha ha ha !
224
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:23,402
Alright, boys, you're
Gonna have to wait here.
225
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,137
Dad--
226
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,740
Good luck.
227
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:30,343
It's in
God's hands now.
228
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:34,247
Stand aside, everyone !
229
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:37,717
What are they doing ?
230
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,886
We're gonna try to beat you
At your own game,
231
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,621
Chief runswithpremise !
232
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:44,657
$10,000--
On 31 black.
233
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,826
( crowd gasps )
234
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,332
Impossible.
235
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:55,935
Come on,
Come on...
236
00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:16,756
Thirty one...
Black.
237
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,925
( cheering )
238
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,626
We did it !
We did it !
239
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,928
Oh my god !
240
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,229
Oh, this is amazing !
241
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,530
No !
Noooo !
242
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:25,831
They did it !
They did it !
243
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:28,000
South park is saved !
244
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,169
We have plenty enough
To save our town now !
245
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,772
Yeah !
But wait--
246
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,808
$350,000-- that means
If we won again
247
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:38,411
It would be 12 and
A quarter million !
248
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,013
We could save the town
And be super rich !
249
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:42,315
Oh, hell yeah,
Let it ride !
250
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,616
Let it ride !
251
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,652
What the hell
Are they doing ?!
252
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:49,689
Let's go, 31 !
Let's see it !,
253
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,460
Two, red,
You lose.
254
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,195
( everyone )
Awwww !!
255
00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:57,930
Dammit !
256
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,665
Hmm !
257
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,834
They--
They had it !
258
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,569
They freakin' had it !
259
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,341
You totally had it.
260
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,076
You had enough to save
The town and then some.
261
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,811
Stan, okay ?
262
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,980
You just don't understand
The fine points of gambling.
263
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,281
You're never
Supposed to stop
264
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,016
When you're on
A winning streak.
265
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:18,751
A winning streak ?!
You played one game !
266
00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:20,052
Stan, okay ?
267
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:21,354
What ?!
268
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,655
Alright, stan,
Okay ?
269
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,824
You people just got greedy
Like the native americans.
270
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,559
Hey, mister !
271
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,728
We are not like them,
Alright ?!
272
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,463
Now we may have pie-in-the-
Sky dreams once in a while,
273
00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:33,065
But we aren't the ones kicking
People out of their homes.
274
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:35,668
So don't you compare us
To those coldhearted,
275
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,837
Moneygrubbing, evil,
Stinky indians !
276
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:40,006
I'm sorry--
Native americans.
277
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,416
There you are, sir, there's
The check for your home.
278
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:51,717
Just sign here and here.
279
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:55,187
Well, this is it, mr. Slave,
We're officially homeless.
280
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:56,922
( sobbing )
281
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:59,959
Oh, jesus...
Jesus christ !
282
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,260
Dad, what are you doing ?
283
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:02,561
Don't take their
Dirty money !
284
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:03,863
Stanley, we don't
Have a choice.
285
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,032
The native americans
Own south park now.
286
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:08,634
We have to take what they'll
Give us for our homes.
287
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:11,237
There you go,
Have a nice day.
288
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,839
Come on, you guys,
This is our town !
289
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,876
It's over, stanley,
What else can we do ?
290
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,611
We can stay--
And fight.
291
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,780
Yeah, when the indians come
To tear up our town,
292
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,081
We kick 'em
In the nuts !!
293
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,382
Yeah !
294
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:25,117
Yeah, they don't own
Our town-- we do !
295
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:26,852
I'm sorry, boys,
296
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,154
You just don't
Understand economics.
297
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:29,889
It'll be okay, boys,
298
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,058
We'll just move to
The next town over.
299
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,226
Oh sure, until the
Native americans decide
300
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,528
They want
That land, too.
301
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:37,697
What if the native americans
Just keep building their casinos
302
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,865
And their highways, until
We have nowhere else to go ?
303
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,902
We have to stand up
To them, now !
304
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,372
Forget it.
Come on, you guys !
305
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,541
You're all a bunch of
God damn pussies !
306
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:04,156
Get out of our way !
307
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:05,891
No, we won't let you
Destroy our town !
308
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,494
Boys, it isn't
Your town anymore.
309
00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:10,229
Just because you have a piece
Of paper saying you own it
310
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,530
Doesn't make it yours.
311
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:13,265
We grew up here,
Our parents grew up here.
312
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:15,868
We shop at thatwal-mart
And eat at thatchili's.
313
00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,169
We take fish from the streams
314
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:18,904
And bread them and freeze them
To make fish sticks.
315
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,507
This is not just a town,
It is our way of life.
316
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:24,977
Well, your way of life is about
To change, little boys.
317
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,278
Now, move !
318
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,013
You can't just roll into places
And take people's lives away !
319
00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:31,917
And what are four little boys
Going to do to stop us, huh ?
320
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,954
( crowd chanting )
Bom bom bom, bom bom.
321
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:37,556
Bom bom bom,
Bom bom...
322
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:44,930
♪ we are strong ♪
323
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:48,400
♪ no one can tell us
We're wrong ♪
324
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:54,473
♪ searching our hearts
For so long ♪
325
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:58,811
♪ all of us knowing ♪
326
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,149
♪ love is a
Battlefield ♪♪
327
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:07,920
This land is not
For sale.
328
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:08,788
Dammit !
329
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,523
I thought you said
They were dealt with !
330
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,390
They were !
331
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:12,691
Sorry, charlies !
332
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,728
You can just keep your filthy,
Bastard, indian money !
333
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,897
Filthy, bastard,
Native american money.
334
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,065
Oh, right,
Sorry about that.
335
00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:21,801
This isn't over !
336
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,873
( trucks beeping reverse )
337
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,476
We'll never give up !
338
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,211
You bastards !
339
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,512
Yeah, south park
Is ours !
340
00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:35,681
But what do we do now ?
341
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:39,585
I mean, we can't stand here
And block their way forever.
342
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,621
We can stand here
As long as it takes !
343
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,333
What is the state
Of our people ?
344
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,936
Last night i spoke with
The spirit of the bear.
345
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,972
And bear said that
If we do not build
Our super highway soon,
346
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,707
Our investors
May soon sell off
347
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:03,442
Their shares of
The new casino.
348
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:06,478
Yes, and eagle says the
Cumulative shared market loss
349
00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:09,949
On the revenue of the new
Casino drops 15% every day.
350
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,117
Then we must force
The south park people
351
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,853
Off their petty land.
352
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,154
But they are determined
And proud.
353
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:18,190
And the spirit of the wind has
Stated that if we use force
354
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,925
It could be
A publicity nightmare,
355
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,660
Further hurting
Our net assets.
356
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:24,697
I already have a plan how we
Can force them off their land...
357
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,998
Sneakily.
358
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:27,733
We're going to
Give them...
359
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,468
Blankets !
360
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:31,637
Blankets ?
361
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:34,240
Yes, we will present the
Blankets as a peace offering.
362
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,975
But what the round eyes
Will not know,
363
00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:39,879
Is that the blankets are
Infected with sars !
364
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,481
They will all get sars !
365
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,517
And then sars will run through
Their town like a buffalo.
366
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,120
Now, i need your help getting
The sars onto the blankets.
367
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,892
Okay, bring them in !
368
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,627
( mock chinese )
369
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,229
Let's see how south park
Deals with this !
370
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,832
( yelling in chinese )
371
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:02,001
Everyone, grab
A chinese person
372
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,169
And rub them
On a blanket !
373
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,772
Make sure you rub them
All over !
374
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:08,507
Get the sars
Nice and deep in there.
375
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,881
Tom, i'm standing in
Chilly south park, colorado
376
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:17,716
Where the residents are
Entering the third day
377
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:19,885
Of their sit-in to try
And stop native americans
378
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:22,488
From building a super highway
Through their town.
379
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,958
The temperature is low, but
Spirits are pretty low too.
380
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,163
What do they want ?
381
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:32,898
We're not moving,
Ass-faces !
382
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:34,633
Free blanket ?
383
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:37,670
Though we know
We have differences,
384
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,272
We believe that a compromise
Can be reached.
385
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,309
In the meantime, it hurts us
To see you all on television
386
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,610
Sitting in the cold.
387
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,080
Will you not take this offering
As a gesture of goodwill ?
388
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,116
You had me
At "free blanket".
389
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,057
Free blanket ?
Free blanket ?
390
00:15:58,057 --> 00:15:59,358
Blanket ?
391
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:01,093
Tom, it now looks as if
The native americans
392
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:03,696
Are handing out blankets
As a sign of goodwill
393
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,997
Towards the
South park people.
394
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,166
What an incredible display
Of compassion.
395
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,768
I certainly hope there's
Nothing sinister behind it.
396
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:12,371
Please, as a token
Of good faith.
397
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:15,841
You... Understand if i'm a
Little wary of trusting you.
398
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,576
It is only a blanket,
Mr. Marsh.
399
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,745
Well, thanks.
400
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:23,649
Oh...
You're welcome.
401
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:27,119
( coughing, groaning )
402
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,420
Tom, it's tuesday
Morning now
403
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,155
And the outbreak of sars
In south park
404
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:32,324
Has reached
Epic proportions.
405
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,192
( coughs, sniffs )
406
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:34,927
The entire town
Has been quarantined
407
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,529
By the federal government,
Nobody allowed in or out,
408
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:40,566
Which means nobody can
Come to our aid.
409
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,337
It appears this town, and this
Reporter, are done for.
410
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,506
Coming up next, choosing
The right hair conditioner--
411
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,241
What you don't know about
Hair care products
412
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:51,844
Could be costing you
A bundle !
413
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,314
( coughing )
414
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:56,615
It's alright, dad.
415
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:57,916
How is your mother ?
416
00:16:57,916 --> 00:16:59,218
She's hanging in there.
417
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,820
Here, drink some beer.
418
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,290
It's cool on my tongue.
419
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,592
You're gonna be
Alright.
420
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,327
Stanley, listen to me.
421
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,628
I have sars.
422
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:13,098
There's only a 98% chance
That i will live.
423
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,833
No, dad, no !
424
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,135
Listen, stan !
425
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,303
Sars is destroying
Our people.
426
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:20,906
The native americans put it
In the blankets they gave us.
427
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,207
( coughs )
428
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,810
Soon there will be
Only 98% of us left.
429
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,979
What can i do ?
430
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:30,883
You-- must find a cure
For sars, son,
431
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,618
And save our people.
432
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,353
Cure sars ?!
Aw, jesus !
433
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,088
The spirit of
Middle-class white people
434
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:37,389
Is strong in you, stan.
435
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:41,293
Seek out the wise man
In bellocreek.
436
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:43,462
Now go, go !
437
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,306
( knocks )
438
00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:55,607
What ?
439
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:57,342
Hey, my name's stan,
And i was--
440
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,511
Your coming was
Foretold to me.
441
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,680
You've come to
Save our people.
442
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,548
Come in.
443
00:18:02,981 --> 00:18:04,283
Watch the cats.
444
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,018
Uh, so, do you know
How to cure sars ?
445
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,319
Me ? Ha !
446
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:09,488
No, i am just a guide.
447
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,223
Sit down.
448
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:13,392
You must find
The answer yourself
449
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:15,561
By taking
An inward journey.
450
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,296
An inward journey ?
That sounds kinda gay.
451
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:21,633
Let the voices of our
Ancestors show you the way.
452
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:24,670
Breathe... Breathe from
The bag of visions.
453
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:31,176
Ugh.
Oh, dude !
454
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,948
How much longer must we wait
For our super highway ?
455
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,550
Sars has spread throughout
The entire town of south park,
456
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:39,852
Chief runswithpremise.
457
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,587
Their wills
Will break soon.
458
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,322
Then i suppose we
Must be patient.
459
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,057
Runswithpremise,
Come quickly !
460
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,358
What is the matter,
Wife ?
461
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:48,527
It is our son,
Premiserunningthin,
462
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,696
He is very sick !
463
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,467
Premiserunningthin,
What is the matter ?
464
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,070
He... He shared a glass with
One of the people from china.
465
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,805
He has sars.
466
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:00,672
No !
467
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:02,407
I told you
Not to touch them !
468
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:03,275
Papa...
469
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:04,576
Papaaa...
470
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,745
I have given him herbs
From the desert plant
471
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,914
And water from
The cactus of life,
472
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:11,517
But nothing
Seems to be working.
473
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:14,119
This would not have happened
If those townpeople
474
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,288
Would have just
Moved away !
475
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:17,156
No more waiting around--
476
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:19,758
Tomorrow we begin the
Final stage of our plan !
477
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,927
Shock and awe !
478
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,096
( groaning, coughing )
479
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:28,867
Dad ! Dad !
480
00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:30,169
Stanley !
481
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,337
Did you have an inward journey
With the old man ?
482
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,072
Did you have a vision ?
483
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:36,241
I don't know if i did or not,
I saw something,
484
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,543
Someone spoke to me
485
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,278
And told me the middle-class
White way to cure sars--
486
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:42,748
Campbell'schicken noodle soup,
Dayquil,andsprite.
487
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,483
Yes,
Yes, of course.
488
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,652
Quickly stan, we must
Give it to everyone.
489
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:56,195
Boy, that really
Did the trick, stan.
490
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,363
I thought we were kinda,
Sort of, not really done for !
491
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,532
Thanks to you,
We're all safe now, stan.
492
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,701
( man )
Aaahghgh !!!
493
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,774
Now, i will blow your weak,
Sars-infested bodies
494
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,376
Off the earth !
495
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,280
What the--
496
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,148
Wait a minute.
497
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,750
Stop, stop !
498
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:22,654
Your, your sars--
Where did it go ?
499
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:26,992
We have cured ourselves using
The medicines of our culture.
500
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:31,330
My son, premiserunningthin,
Has the sars as well.
501
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:34,366
You, you can cure him ?
502
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:41,740
It is amazing.
503
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,909
All our plants and herbs
Failed to heal him.
504
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,644
But your people's remedy
505
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:48,680
Brings the spirit of the
Buffalo back into his heart.
506
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,415
Perhaps there are
Many things we can learn
507
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,150
From your way of life.
508
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,452
We're a simple people,
509
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:55,621
All we want is to be
Allowed to live our lives.
510
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,356
You have cured
Premiserunningthin.
511
00:20:57,789 --> 00:21:01,693
In return, i shall give you all
$5 credit at the casino.
512
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:04,296
Alright, alright.
513
00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:06,898
I will not build a super
Highway through your town,
514
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:08,634
And you can all
Have your homes back.
515
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:10,369
Alright !
Yeah !
516
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:11,670
Woo-hoo !
517
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:12,971
Well, i guess we all
Learned that south park
518
00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:14,706
Is more than just a town.
519
00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:17,309
It's a community that
Nobody can split up !
520
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,647
Dude, who the hell
Are you ?!
521
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:22,948
Alex.
522
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:25,984
Alex glick ?
523
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:28,587
I got to come on and do
The guest voice thingy ?
524
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:29,454
What ?!
525
00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:31,189
Get the hell
Out of here !
526
00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:33,358
Hi, mom !
Hi, dad !
Hi, jill !
527
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:36,828
Captioning made possible by
Comedy central
528
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,431
Captioned by
Soundwriters™
35516
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