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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,661 --> 00:00:06,667 Episode 706 - Lil' Crime Stoppers 2 00:00:09,672 --> 00:00:12,977 I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time. 3 00:00:13,178 --> 00:00:16,382 Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation. 4 00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:19,587 Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind. 5 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:23,091 Ample parking day or night, people spouting, "Howdy neighbor!" 6 00:00:23,192 --> 00:00:26,296 Headin’ on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind. 7 00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:32,806 So, come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine. 8 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,114 Yes? Oh, hello, boys. 9 00:00:39,215 --> 00:00:43,220 Hello, sir. South Park Junior Detectives. We're wondering if you have any crimes to be solved, for a dollar. 10 00:00:43,321 --> 00:00:47,727 Oooo, little crime stoppers, huh? Well, I'm afraid I don't have any crimes I need solved right now. 11 00:00:47,828 --> 00:00:48,729 Awww, shit! 12 00:00:48,829 --> 00:00:50,931 All right, sir, well, please call us if you need anything. 13 00:00:51,032 --> 00:00:52,734 I'll do that. Have fun, boys. 14 00:00:53,235 --> 00:00:55,939 Stupid assholes! How come nobody has a crime to solve? 15 00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:58,142 Yeah, maybe starting a detective club isn't such a bright idea 16 00:00:58,242 --> 00:01:00,145 It's a great idea, we just have to keep working at it. 17 00:01:03,751 --> 00:01:05,253 Oh, hello there boys. 18 00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:07,355 Hello, ma'am, we're detectives with the South Park Crime Unit. 19 00:01:07,456 --> 00:01:09,259 Do you have any crimes you need to be solved, for a dollar? 20 00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:11,963 Ohh, neighborhood detectives, huh? Well let me thin.. 21 00:01:12,062 --> 00:01:14,566 Oh yes, there is something! - Really? 22 00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:19,273 Yes. Two days ago I put a fresh baked cherry pie out on my window sill to cool. 23 00:01:19,373 --> 00:01:21,676 And later, when I went to get it, it was gone. 24 00:01:21,776 --> 00:01:23,479 My God... 25 00:01:23,579 --> 00:01:25,182 Have you reported this to any other authorities? 26 00:01:25,282 --> 00:01:28,086 Noo, but I think it's a perfect case for you kids. 27 00:01:28,185 --> 00:01:29,788 Cool! We'll see what we can find, ma'am. 28 00:01:29,888 --> 00:01:31,691 We're on the case. 29 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,793 What have you got, Marsh? 30 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,496 Detective McCormick found something interesting. 31 00:01:40,202 --> 00:01:42,406 Jesus, we're too late. 32 00:01:42,507 --> 00:01:44,409 I think we can piece this case together now. 33 00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:50,719 My pie tin! Oooh, but what happened to the pie? 34 00:01:50,918 --> 00:01:53,422 Well, we've all talked it through and we've come up with a theory. 35 00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:55,726 Well, what do you thnk happened, little detectives? 36 00:01:55,826 --> 00:01:58,730 You said you set the pie in the window sill, where it must have sat for some time. 37 00:02:00,082 --> 00:02:02,935 But its sweet smell attracted the attention of somebody. 38 00:02:03,837 --> 00:02:04,738 Your husband. 39 00:02:05,539 --> 00:02:08,844 He wanted that pie badly, but he knew that he was not allowed to eat it yet. 40 00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:11,248 Slowly the rage built inside his mind. 41 00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:12,850 Why won't she let me eat that pie? 42 00:02:12,950 --> 00:02:15,053 Why does she always stop me from doing what I wanna do?! 43 00:02:15,153 --> 00:02:16,555 His only solution became obvious: 44 00:02:16,655 --> 00:02:17,857 Kill her! 45 00:02:18,158 --> 00:02:19,460 His plan was to use a hammer. 46 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,364 Bash, bash, BASH your skull in, causing instant death. 47 00:02:22,464 --> 00:02:24,366 Then to make it impossible for police to identify the body, 48 00:02:24,366 --> 00:02:26,069 he'd use a shovel to remove your head. 49 00:02:26,270 --> 00:02:27,972 Then saw off the arms and legs. 50 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,476 The torso he would dump into the lake. 51 00:02:31,076 --> 00:02:33,880 The arms and legs he would dissolve with acid and lye in the bathtub. 52 00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:36,384 And then, finally, he'd be able to eat that pie. 53 00:02:36,484 --> 00:02:38,588 But before he could go through with this entire plan, 54 00:02:38,688 --> 00:02:40,390 he discovered that the pie had already been eaten... 55 00:02:40,490 --> 00:02:42,092 ...by your dog. 56 00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:44,395 Looks like the game is over, old man! 57 00:02:45,797 --> 00:02:49,604 Oh my God, what kind of television have you kids been watching?? 58 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:51,105 Just the news. 59 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,809 All right, all right, you you boys run along now. 60 00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:55,812 Hey, you owe us a dollar, lady. 61 00:02:56,013 --> 00:02:57,615 Fine, here, just go! 62 00:02:58,717 --> 00:03:01,020 Wow, look, you guys! Our first dollar! 63 00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:02,823 We're in business! 64 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,232 Kenny, you got the f-a-g on that perp in Washington 65 00:03:09,532 --> 00:03:11,635 Boys, you have a little visitor. 66 00:03:12,036 --> 00:03:14,940 Is this the South Park Crime Unit? 67 00:03:16,742 --> 00:03:17,444 Yes it is! 68 00:03:17,644 --> 00:03:19,146 I lost my dollie. 69 00:03:19,246 --> 00:03:21,249 Thank you, Ms. Secretary, that will be all. 70 00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:24,954 And get some more cookies and coffee! We're not paying you to sit on your ass! 71 00:03:25,155 --> 00:03:26,457 Do you kow where your doll is? 72 00:03:26,557 --> 00:03:29,461 If I knew where it was, it wouldn't be lost. 73 00:03:29,561 --> 00:03:30,964 All right, Sarah, come over here. 74 00:03:31,664 --> 00:03:33,467 Now, I want you to describe what the doll looks like to our 75 00:03:33,467 --> 00:03:34,568 sketch artist, Kenny. 76 00:03:35,469 --> 00:03:37,772 She has curly blonde hair. 77 00:03:38,073 --> 00:03:40,277 And a red dress. 78 00:03:40,377 --> 00:03:42,380 And a turned-up nose. 79 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,883 And a blue bow in her hair. 80 00:03:46,085 --> 00:03:47,487 You got it, Ken? 81 00:03:48,088 --> 00:03:49,490 All right, let's see. 82 00:03:50,692 --> 00:03:52,294 Damnit Kenny, that's not what she said! 83 00:03:52,395 --> 00:03:53,796 Put that away, dude! 84 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,804 Don't worry, ma'am. We'll find your doll. 85 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,610 No sign of forced entry. 86 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,213 But the window isn't locked. 87 00:04:05,614 --> 00:04:07,616 Right, so it's possible that the theif sat out in that tree. 88 00:04:08,017 --> 00:04:09,319 He would have watched Sarah with the doll, 89 00:04:09,419 --> 00:04:11,822 possibly while cutting the palms of his hands with a large knife. 90 00:04:12,123 --> 00:04:13,324 The pain gave him sick pleasure. 91 00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:15,427 Disposing of the doll wouldn't be easy. 92 00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:17,531 He would have had to have brough a shovel to decapitate it. 93 00:04:17,631 --> 00:04:19,734 We're going to need semen samples from everything in this room. 94 00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,538 All right, let's do this by the books! McDonnell, 95 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,540 give me smears of all the places the doll used to be! 96 00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:26,243 Mitchell, run a tap on the phone! 97 00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,146 Hey, kid, what are you doing? 98 00:04:28,246 --> 00:04:30,349 Agent Tucker, FBI! And you? 99 00:04:30,449 --> 00:04:32,852 Detective Marsh. I'm in charge of this investigation! 100 00:04:33,053 --> 00:04:34,856 Not anymore, you're not! 101 00:04:34,956 --> 00:04:37,259 Hey, this is our case! You can't come in and take over! 102 00:04:37,359 --> 00:04:39,062 Can't we? You guys are playing Detective. 103 00:04:39,162 --> 00:04:42,366 We're playing FBI. That gives us jurisdiction over you! 104 00:04:42,466 --> 00:04:43,568 Aw crap! 105 00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:45,271 I want choppers on the roof ready to go! 106 00:04:45,371 --> 00:04:47,273 Dude, we've been working this case since two-thirty! 107 00:04:47,373 --> 00:04:50,378 Good. Then you can help us by telling me everything you know. 108 00:04:51,579 --> 00:04:52,981 Son of a bitch stupid FBI! 109 00:04:53,182 --> 00:04:55,385 Well, I guess we can go back to playing laundromat. 110 00:04:55,485 --> 00:04:57,288 No! We're not gonna stop playing detectives! 111 00:04:57,388 --> 00:04:59,791 We've just gotta find that doll before thos FBI guys do. 112 00:04:59,892 --> 00:05:00,393 Yeah! 113 00:05:00,493 --> 00:05:01,294 Yeah, but how? 114 00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:03,597 We're gonna have to just start bringing in people for questioning. 115 00:05:03,597 --> 00:05:06,000 Right. I think I know exactly where to start. 116 00:05:08,704 --> 00:05:10,607 Where were you this morning at nine o'clock, Butters?! 117 00:05:10,707 --> 00:05:11,709 Ah, I was at home. 118 00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:13,211 Your story is full of holes and I'm gonna beat your ass 119 00:05:13,211 --> 00:05:14,513 if you don't start tellin' the truth! 120 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:18,118 Awww, don't be so hard. Maybe he's tellin' the truth, huh? 121 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,922 They've gotten really good at this good cop-bad cop thing. 122 00:05:21,022 --> 00:05:22,725 You're going down, Butters! You hear me?! 123 00:05:22,825 --> 00:05:25,529 Aw. Now just be nice. Poor lil thing. 124 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,531 You're worth a two-dollar criminal and you're lying! 125 00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:29,735 Aw, please don't make him confess. 126 00:05:29,835 --> 00:05:32,239 Well I don't have nothin' to confess. Honestly. 127 00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:35,243 Fine! Then you won't mind giving us a semen sample. 128 00:05:35,343 --> 00:05:36,945 How do I do that? 129 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,347 You just make the semen come out of your body 130 00:05:38,347 --> 00:05:39,448 and fill it in this cup! 131 00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:41,352 Well how do I make semen... come out of my body? 132 00:05:41,402 --> 00:05:42,152 Stop playing games! 133 00:05:42,253 --> 00:05:43,855 I'm not playing. I really don't know! 134 00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:45,257 That does it! Wait right here! 135 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,163 Guys, did you hear that? 136 00:05:49,263 --> 00:05:51,466 Butters doesn't know how you make seme come out of your body. 137 00:05:51,566 --> 00:05:53,770 How... do you make semen come out? 138 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,472 I don't know. I was hoping you guys did. 139 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,874 It's that thing we learned about in school 140 00:05:56,974 --> 00:05:58,877 where you pull on your weiner until white stuff comes out. 141 00:05:58,977 --> 00:05:59,578 Really? 142 00:05:59,678 --> 00:06:03,083 Ohh, right, you're supposed to pull and mager...venate your weiner really fast. 143 00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:03,684 Oh okay. 144 00:06:04,485 --> 00:06:07,289 Okay, retard, you really don't know how to make semen come out?! 145 00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:07,890 No-o! 146 00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:09,292 Follow me to the bathroom. 147 00:06:09,392 --> 00:06:11,495 Aw, it's okay kid. It's just done in a jiffy 148 00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,302 Now, go sit on the toilet and pull and tug on your weiner 149 00:06:16,402 --> 00:06:18,305 until white stuff comes out, and then put it in this cup. 150 00:06:18,405 --> 00:06:19,207 My weiner?? 151 00:06:19,307 --> 00:06:21,911 Yes, retard. Semen comes from your weiner. Now do it! 152 00:06:28,219 --> 00:06:29,221 Well Butters?! 153 00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:31,224 Ah I'm pullin' on my weiner, but nothin's happening. 154 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,426 Well pull harder! 155 00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:38,734 It's not workin' 156 00:06:38,835 --> 00:06:40,036 Try doin' it faster 157 00:06:44,343 --> 00:06:45,344 Naw, nothin' 158 00:06:45,394 --> 00:06:46,947 Butters, do you wanna go to jail for the rest of your life?! 159 00:06:46,997 --> 00:06:47,647 NOOooo! 160 00:06:47,697 --> 00:06:49,751 Then you'd better get that semen sample no matter how long it takes! 161 00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:50,752 Okay!! 162 00:06:51,253 --> 00:06:54,758 Cartman! Cartman! We just got a tip that a doll was found near Fosse's house! 163 00:06:54,858 --> 00:06:55,959 Let's go! 164 00:07:04,372 --> 00:07:07,376 Huhuh, Okay Ms., Ms. Jones, heh, me and Doctor... Flick 165 00:07:07,477 --> 00:07:09,279 here just need to... check your vagina. 166 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,182 That's gay. 167 00:07:11,282 --> 00:07:11,982 Yeah, that's gay. 168 00:07:14,887 --> 00:07:15,688 Kyle! 169 00:07:29,307 --> 00:07:30,009 Co? 170 00:07:42,526 --> 00:07:43,128 Co?? 171 00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:45,431 Vidím dva kluky uvnitø. 172 00:07:45,481 --> 00:07:48,335 Mají Sáøinu panenku, ty pitomej Žide! 173 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,638 They've got the doll! 174 00:07:53,944 --> 00:07:56,848 Okay, okay. Ready? Break the door down! 175 00:08:01,654 --> 00:08:02,856 Huh huh who is it?! 176 00:08:02,956 --> 00:08:05,861 South Park Junior Detectives! We know you have Sarah Peterson's doll! 177 00:08:06,962 --> 00:08:08,164 They're playing Detective. 178 00:08:08,464 --> 00:08:09,365 That's gay. 179 00:08:09,566 --> 00:08:10,467 You're gay! 180 00:08:11,369 --> 00:08:12,370 What do we do now? 181 00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:13,071 I don't know. 182 00:08:13,271 --> 00:08:16,376 Well if they're not gonna give us back the doll, then we have no choice. 183 00:08:16,777 --> 00:08:18,179 Let's go tell on them. 184 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:20,782 Dude, we just can't tell on them. 185 00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:21,583 Why not? 186 00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:24,888 Because, dude, we're playing detectives! Detectives don't just go tell on people. 187 00:08:25,388 --> 00:08:26,190 Detectives! 188 00:08:27,592 --> 00:08:30,897 If you don't get out of here, we're gonna rip the doll's head off! 189 00:08:31,398 --> 00:08:32,198 Yeah. 190 00:08:32,499 --> 00:08:35,804 We were playing gynecologists and now we're playing criminals 191 00:08:36,405 --> 00:08:37,106 That's gay. 192 00:08:37,506 --> 00:08:38,308 We're gay. 193 00:08:38,408 --> 00:08:39,409 Jesus! They're gonna kill her! 194 00:08:39,509 --> 00:08:40,511 We've got to do something. 195 00:08:40,611 --> 00:08:43,114 Time! Time is what we need, but time is something we ain't got! 196 00:08:43,215 --> 00:08:44,416 Attention! You in the house! 197 00:08:44,617 --> 00:08:47,921 This is Agent Tucker with the FBI! We have you surrounded. Sort of. 198 00:08:49,023 --> 00:08:50,926 Hey, you buttholes can't play FBI here! 199 00:08:51,026 --> 00:08:52,528 Yeah! This was our hot lead! 200 00:08:52,929 --> 00:08:56,333 And you did a great job leading us here. Now you just stay out of our way! 201 00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:59,839 The gig is up, Fosse! Bring out the doll! Or we'll tell on you! 202 00:08:59,938 --> 00:09:01,741 We're gonna charge the front door and go get it. 203 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:02,843 No you're not. 204 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,846 Damnit man, this is not the time for negotiations! 205 00:09:04,846 --> 00:09:06,848 There's a little doll in there about to have her head twisted off! 206 00:09:06,848 --> 00:09:08,952 Time out, kid! We say you can't charge the front door, 207 00:09:09,052 --> 00:09:11,456 and you have to obey what the FBI says! That's the rules! 208 00:09:11,556 --> 00:09:13,558 Just because your parents can afford better toys than ours 209 00:09:13,658 --> 00:09:14,760 doesn't make you better than us! 210 00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,763 Yes it does so! 211 00:09:22,071 --> 00:09:23,172 What do we do now? 212 00:09:23,273 --> 00:09:24,574 We go get the doll ourselves. 213 00:09:24,675 --> 00:09:26,377 But they said we can't charge the front door. 214 00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:30,483 That's right. But they didn't say anything about going in the back. 215 00:09:31,885 --> 00:09:33,487 Come on guys. You don't wanna hurt that doll. 216 00:09:34,989 --> 00:09:36,191 Oh crap, they're coming in the back! 217 00:09:43,602 --> 00:09:44,503 That's gay. 218 00:09:45,705 --> 00:09:46,706 I got you, Fosse! 219 00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:47,808 No you didn't! 220 00:09:47,909 --> 00:09:48,709 Did so! 221 00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:51,012 No, 'cause I got... special wizard armor on. 222 00:09:51,113 --> 00:09:53,216 We're not playing Dungeons and Dragons, assface! 223 00:09:53,316 --> 00:09:55,920 All right, that does it! Cover me! I'm going slo-mo! 224 00:10:01,928 --> 00:10:03,030 Oooh, they got me! 225 00:10:11,142 --> 00:10:12,044 We're dead. 226 00:10:12,443 --> 00:10:13,445 That's gay 227 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,149 We got it. 228 00:10:23,059 --> 00:10:24,361 Ms. Peterson, is your daughter home? 229 00:10:25,263 --> 00:10:26,564 My dollie! 230 00:10:27,666 --> 00:10:30,269 We got her back safe. We lost a lot of good men in the process. 231 00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,172 Well you boys are little heroes. 232 00:10:32,372 --> 00:10:34,576 I'm going to call the police department and let them know 233 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,779 what brave little detectives you are! 234 00:10:41,185 --> 00:10:45,491 Hello there little crime stoppers, I'm Lieutenant Dawson with the Park County Police. 235 00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:49,097 I heard you did a great job finding Sarah Peterson's doll. 236 00:10:49,197 --> 00:10:50,499 We do what we can, sir. 237 00:10:50,599 --> 00:10:55,205 W-hell, that's fantastic, kids. And for all your terrific sleuth-solving, 238 00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:58,611 I'm here by making you all Jenior Detectives. 239 00:11:03,217 --> 00:11:06,121 That means you boys are now an official part of the department. 240 00:11:06,121 --> 00:11:06,922 Kewl! 241 00:11:07,022 --> 00:11:09,126 All right, so ready for your first assignment? 242 00:11:09,226 --> 00:11:09,927 Sure. 243 00:11:10,027 --> 00:11:13,232 Okay. There's a meth lab down at 567 Mala Vista. 244 00:11:13,232 --> 00:11:16,136 The operators are probably armed to the hilt with illegal weapons. 245 00:11:16,235 --> 00:11:18,439 I want you to get down there and see what you can find! 246 00:11:20,341 --> 00:11:22,144 Ah... a a a meth lab? 247 00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:24,648 I don't want any problems. Just take them down by the books. 248 00:11:24,748 --> 00:11:27,452 Now get over there; the mayor's all over my ass on this one! 249 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:31,859 On, and deputies: you screw this up 250 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:35,163 and I'll have you working graveyard shift behind a desk! Move it! 251 00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:40,370 What is a meth lab, anyway? 252 00:11:40,571 --> 00:11:43,976 I don't know. Let's just hurry up. I wanna get home in time to watch Crime Drama. 253 00:11:56,895 --> 00:11:58,096 Uh police. Open up.... 254 00:11:58,898 --> 00:12:01,201 Oh crap, did you guys do your math homework? 255 00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:02,703 Nah. Dude, I totally spaced it. 256 00:12:04,105 --> 00:12:05,407 You die, pigs! 257 00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:08,711 You want to die, huh? 258 00:12:18,225 --> 00:12:19,527 You won't take us alive! 259 00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:31,244 So long, coppers! 260 00:12:39,656 --> 00:12:40,557 Damn. 261 00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:45,766 One UPS vehicle valued at twenty-five thousand dollars, 262 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,868 one civilian vehicle valued at sixteen thousand, 263 00:12:47,969 --> 00:12:51,974 the second floor of the post office AND a coffee shop valued at sixteen thousand! 264 00:12:52,175 --> 00:12:54,277 The mayor's gonna have my ass! 265 00:12:54,378 --> 00:12:56,581 Uh, sir, we just kinda got blind-sided by the... 266 00:12:56,681 --> 00:12:57,683 You got careless! 267 00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:02,289 Now, I don't know how they do things down at that dog-and-pony show they call the Fourth Grade, 268 00:13:02,389 --> 00:13:03,390 but here we have rules! 269 00:13:03,591 --> 00:13:07,097 Jesus, we don't have guys to question now, because you killed them all! 270 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:08,398 We're sorry. 271 00:13:08,498 --> 00:13:10,501 One more slip-up like that and I'll have your badges! 272 00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:13,005 You hear me?! Now hit the showers! 273 00:13:14,507 --> 00:13:17,511 Well well well, if it isn't the supercops. 274 00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:22,318 Hey Murphy, think they'll let me borrow their G.I. Joes? 275 00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:24,821 Come on, you guys. Leave them alone. 276 00:13:24,922 --> 00:13:27,826 Relax, Hopkins! All fun and games, right? 277 00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:32,433 Soho, tell us, rookies, you ah... find yourself a little bonus in that house?? 278 00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:33,535 Uh bonus? 279 00:13:33,835 --> 00:13:35,838 Come on! We all skim a little off the top. 280 00:13:35,938 --> 00:13:38,542 Oh. Or are you too good for that? 281 00:13:39,743 --> 00:13:42,547 So you think you're gonna waltz in here and clean up the system. Is that it? 282 00:13:42,748 --> 00:13:44,451 We just wanna be junior detectives. 283 00:13:44,551 --> 00:13:48,356 Look, we all work hard! And we deserve more than the thirty-thousand a year we get paid! 284 00:13:48,456 --> 00:13:52,362 So what if we take in a little on the side? -Yeah! Who the hell are you to change that?! 285 00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:53,963 I said, back off Murphy! 286 00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:56,267 Why don't you and your rookie friends make us 287 00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,771 That's right. Come on, bring it! Yeah, let's go! Come on, bring it! 288 00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,373 What the hell is the problem here?? 289 00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:03,578 No problem, sir. No problem at all. 290 00:14:03,678 --> 00:14:05,882 Then hit the showers, all of you! 291 00:14:11,489 --> 00:14:13,392 Dude, I don't wanna play Detective anymore. 292 00:14:13,492 --> 00:14:14,594 Me neither. 293 00:14:14,694 --> 00:14:15,595 It'll get better, guys. 294 00:14:15,695 --> 00:14:16,597 Better how, dude? 295 00:14:17,097 --> 00:14:19,701 Look, we said we wanted to form a club to protect and serve South Park. 296 00:14:19,801 --> 00:14:22,005 We put all this time to it, I mean... What do you guys wanna do, huh? 297 00:14:22,104 --> 00:14:24,708 Go back to playing Car Mechanics? Or Laundromat Owners? 298 00:14:24,808 --> 00:14:26,210 We were happy playing Laundromat Owners. 299 00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:29,916 I wasn't. We started playing Detective because we wanted our play time to mean something. 300 00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:31,718 Or have you forgotten why you joined the force, Kyle? 301 00:14:31,818 --> 00:14:33,120 Hey! Broflovski's a good cop! 302 00:14:33,822 --> 00:14:36,125 You guys can go back to playing Laundromat Owners if you want, but... 303 00:14:36,225 --> 00:14:39,130 I'm not gonna give those kids playing the FBI a chance to laugh at us 304 00:14:39,429 --> 00:14:40,731 See you guys at school tomorrow. 305 00:14:49,645 --> 00:14:51,847 Eric, where have you been? It's ten thirty. 306 00:14:51,948 --> 00:14:53,851 We had to take down a meth lab on Mala Vista. 307 00:14:53,951 --> 00:14:55,353 Well you should've called Mommy. 308 00:14:55,452 --> 00:14:57,857 Will you get off my back?! It's hard enough I gotta work the beat, 309 00:14:57,957 --> 00:14:59,458 and now I gotta come home to your nagging?! 310 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:04,266 Look look, I'm I'm sorry. It's just this case, and... the guys down at the station, 311 00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:06,268 I... I'm tired, alright? I'm I'm tired. 312 00:15:06,769 --> 00:15:09,172 Well, why don't you get ready for snoogums' night-night, 313 00:15:09,273 --> 00:15:10,975 and I'll bring you some toasty chocolate nummers? 314 00:15:12,377 --> 00:15:12,978 Okay. 315 00:15:18,686 --> 00:15:19,687 Butters? 316 00:15:19,888 --> 00:15:20,690 Yes? 317 00:15:20,790 --> 00:15:22,391 Are you still trying to give a semen sample? 318 00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:24,295 Well I'm tryin', but nothin's comin' out. 319 00:15:24,796 --> 00:15:26,698 Well, keep tryin', Butters. 320 00:15:33,107 --> 00:15:36,412 And so you can see, children, that the women's movement of the late fifties 321 00:15:36,512 --> 00:15:39,616 and the early sixties had a profound effect on feminism in America. 322 00:15:39,716 --> 00:15:44,324 Uh, boys! Would it trouble you terribly not to sleep in my class? 323 00:15:44,825 --> 00:15:46,326 Uh wu we weren't sleeping, Mr. Garrison. 324 00:15:46,426 --> 00:15:49,030 Oh well, then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist 325 00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:50,532 movement of the early sixties! 326 00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:53,236 A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods? 327 00:15:54,338 --> 00:15:56,941 Right, but who was the fattest oldest skank on her period?! 328 00:15:59,346 --> 00:16:01,849 That's what I thought! Now pay attention! 329 00:16:01,949 --> 00:16:05,253 Okay, children, now, the biggest skank of all was an old fatass by the name of... 330 00:16:05,354 --> 00:16:08,559 Marsh! Broflovski! McCormick! Cartman! In my office! 331 00:16:12,565 --> 00:16:15,668 Looks like that meth lab you took down was the tip of the iceberg. 332 00:16:15,769 --> 00:16:19,575 They found a paper trail leading all the way to the biggest crime syndicate in Colorado. 333 00:16:20,175 --> 00:16:24,532 The operators apparently run their business out of a sleazy strip joint down in Inglewood. 334 00:16:24,582 --> 00:16:27,085 They're all cop killers, so I'm sending you in undercover. 335 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,292 Uh, sir, d'I have a lot of homework to do tonight and I was... 336 00:16:31,392 --> 00:16:34,395 What?! Now you listen to me! I'm givin' you one last chance! 337 00:16:34,496 --> 00:16:36,800 You're good cops, but you let your emotions get in the way! 338 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:42,208 And your little "shoot first ask questions later" technique has no place in this century! 339 00:16:42,308 --> 00:16:46,013 Now you get down to that strip joint and you do it by the books, you got it?! 340 00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:48,617 The mayor is on my ass and blablablah! 341 00:16:53,223 --> 00:16:56,328 So, what did you boys have to say to the lieutenant? 342 00:16:56,428 --> 00:16:58,430 Nothing, he just told us a bunch of stuff. 343 00:16:58,530 --> 00:17:02,236 Maybe you decided you needed to tell him about our... bonus money. 344 00:17:02,337 --> 00:17:03,037 No. 345 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,042 They're lying. 346 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,644 They're dead! 347 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:20,462 Dude, if my mom knew I was in here, I would be in super big trouble. 348 00:17:26,972 --> 00:17:28,274 Would you like a dance? 349 00:17:28,374 --> 00:17:29,575 No thanks. 350 00:17:29,676 --> 00:17:31,979 Dance? Anyone like a dance? 351 00:17:32,079 --> 00:17:34,482 Well all right, guests, put your hands together. Be sure to tip the dancers. 352 00:17:34,582 --> 00:17:37,087 And now, come on, let's here it for Candy! 353 00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:39,691 Whoa whoa, what the hell are you kids doin' in here? 354 00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,793 This isn't an appropriate place for children 355 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:45,398 Dance? Anyone like a dance? 356 00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:47,402 Uh, it's okay. We know the owner. 357 00:17:47,502 --> 00:17:49,304 Oh, really? Let's go see. 358 00:17:49,705 --> 00:17:52,809 All right, so we'll have to start havin' the McCormicks make our meth again and... 359 00:17:52,910 --> 00:17:54,812 Hey Gino, these kids say they know you. 360 00:17:54,912 --> 00:17:57,116 What? Ha-I don't know no kids. 361 00:17:57,215 --> 00:17:59,419 I didn't think so. All right, you kids... 362 00:17:59,519 --> 00:18:00,320 Hey wait a minute. 363 00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:04,326 These kids might be just what we need to get our drugs past the security at DIA. 364 00:18:04,426 --> 00:18:06,129 How would you like to join our family? 365 00:18:06,429 --> 00:18:10,435 Yo Gino, I know I've seen these kids before, man. These kids are 5-0! 366 00:18:10,535 --> 00:18:11,236 What? 367 00:18:11,336 --> 00:18:13,039 These kids are cops, man! 368 00:18:23,253 --> 00:18:26,258 Kenny, it doesn't go "Pakew! Pakew!", it goes "BANG BANG BANG!!" 369 00:18:31,866 --> 00:18:35,872 God damnit! Those junior detectives and their heroicly reckless ways! 370 00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:38,576 Murphy! Jenkins! Hopkins! Get in there! 371 00:18:46,086 --> 00:18:49,491 Dance??? Anybody like a dance??? 372 00:18:50,793 --> 00:18:56,100 Freeze! South Park detectives! Great job, boys. You found the meth boss! 373 00:18:56,501 --> 00:19:00,908 Detective Murphy! Jenkins! Uh what the hell are you doing? We had a deal. 374 00:19:00,908 --> 00:19:02,310 A deal? 375 00:19:02,611 --> 00:19:05,114 That's right. We're partners in the drug business. 376 00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:08,519 Everything was fine until these "supercops" joined the force. 377 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,223 Now we've gotta kill you all. 378 00:19:11,323 --> 00:19:12,123 Boys! Down! 379 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:21,037 Huh alright guys, put your hands together, a lot of shootin' and killin' goin' on, 380 00:19:21,087 --> 00:19:23,841 but be sure to tip your waitress let's hear it for Rebecca. 381 00:19:26,345 --> 00:19:29,448 Christ! Those junior detectives have no regard for the law! 382 00:19:31,652 --> 00:19:34,557 Get me a hard line to the phone! And I want choppers on the roof! 383 00:19:34,657 --> 00:19:35,458 Who the hell are you?? 384 00:19:35,558 --> 00:19:37,761 Agent Fields, FBI! 385 00:19:37,861 --> 00:19:39,764 Hey, I'm in charge of this investigation. 386 00:19:39,864 --> 00:19:41,367 Not anymore, you're not. 387 00:19:41,566 --> 00:19:43,870 But that's not fair! 388 00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:45,873 Is so! Is so! 389 00:19:52,282 --> 00:19:56,788 Sorry, Detective Hopkins. We can't let anybody know about our partnership. 390 00:19:57,089 --> 00:19:59,492 That's right. We split it all, fifty-fifty! 391 00:19:59,693 --> 00:20:05,901 That's right. I think we'll take a hundred percent now. 392 00:20:06,002 --> 00:20:08,906 Huhuh yeah. Sorry, Gino, but in business like this, 393 00:20:09,006 --> 00:20:10,709 sometimes partnerships need to end. 394 00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:15,816 That's right. Sometimes partnerships need to end. 395 00:20:17,018 --> 00:20:20,723 Well, supercops, looks like I'll be taking in all the money now. 396 00:20:20,823 --> 00:20:26,131 I'm in business alone. And that means that the only person I can't trust... 397 00:20:26,231 --> 00:20:27,633 ...is myself. 398 00:20:34,844 --> 00:20:37,147 Looks like Murphy and Jenkins got what they deserved. 399 00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:40,152 If it weren't for you boys, we would have never cleaned up the department 400 00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:44,958 All right, detectives, let's get one thing straight! I do not agree with your methods! 401 00:20:45,058 --> 00:20:50,867 You're uncontrolled, and you're negligent! But by God you get the job done. Congratulations! 402 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,269 Thanks. 403 00:20:52,368 --> 00:20:56,775 I'm probably going to regret this, but, well, I'm promoting you to full detectives. 404 00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:59,980 There'll be lots of action, and that big paycheck you've always wanted. 405 00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:03,986 I think I have a better idea. 406 00:21:05,488 --> 00:21:07,691 Hello, sir. Welcome to the Broflovski Laundromat. 407 00:21:07,791 --> 00:21:10,295 Yes, I have a suit that needs to be dry-cleaned. And pressed, please. 408 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,296 Certainly. 409 00:21:11,697 --> 00:21:14,301 Here you are, Mister McCormick. Your laundry is all done and folded. 410 00:21:14,401 --> 00:21:17,105 That will be nine ninety five. On your American Express. 411 00:21:17,305 --> 00:21:20,710 Fellas! Hehey fellas! I got it! Ah I got my semen sample! 412 00:21:20,810 --> 00:21:21,511 You did? 413 00:21:21,612 --> 00:21:24,916 Yeah. I was up there poundin' my weiner for two days straight, aaand finally, 414 00:21:25,016 --> 00:21:28,221 I thought about Stan's Mom's boobs, and this little timy spooge of... 415 00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:29,323 this white stuff came out. 416 00:21:29,423 --> 00:21:31,025 That's great, Butters, but we're not playing Detective anymore. 417 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,227 We're playing laundromat owners. 418 00:21:32,327 --> 00:21:34,029 Would you like those pants cleaned for four ninety five? 419 00:21:34,129 --> 00:21:58,164 Subtitles made by Dziewuliz n-14@email.lt 420 00:00:03,163 --> 00:00:04,665 32652

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