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00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:07,874
Captioning made possible by
Comedy central
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00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,042
♪ i'm going down
To south park ♪
3
00:00:10,042 --> 00:00:12,211
♪ gonna have
Myself a time ♪
4
00:00:12,211 --> 00:00:13,513
♪ friendly faces
Everywhere ♪
5
00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,248
♪ humble folks
Without temptation ♪
6
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:16,549
♪ going down
To south park ♪
7
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:18,718
♪ gonna leave my
Woes behind ♪
8
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,453
♪ ample parking
Day or night ♪
9
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:22,188
♪ people spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
10
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,489
♪ headin' on up
To south park ♪
11
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,224
♪ gonna see
If i can't unwind ♪
12
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:28,694
♪ ( muffled mumble
Muffled mumble ) ♪
13
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:29,996
♪ so come on down
To south park ♪
14
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,164
♪ and meet some
Friends of mine ♪♪
15
00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,868
( school bell rings )
16
00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:38,037
Okay, children,
Let's take our seats.
17
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:39,772
Did you take attendance,
Mr. Slave ?
18
00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:41,073
All "donesy-wonsey".
19
00:00:41,507 --> 00:00:43,242
Okay, let's all take out
Our math homework
20
00:00:43,242 --> 00:00:44,977
And go over the problems.
21
00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:47,580
Math homework,
Math homework...
22
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,315
Where did i file that ?
23
00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:50,182
Oh, and by the way,
Children,
24
00:00:50,616 --> 00:00:51,918
There's a walkout
Scheduled today
25
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:53,219
To protest the war
In iraq.
26
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,821
So, uh, if you're against
The war, run along outside.
27
00:00:56,255 --> 00:00:57,557
And if you're
For the war, uh,
28
00:00:57,990 --> 00:01:00,159
Stay here and we'll do
Math problems.
29
00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:03,195
( cheering )
30
00:01:03,195 --> 00:01:05,364
♪ we got
Out of school ♪
31
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,967
♪ no more school today ♪
32
00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:08,834
What should we do ?
33
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,136
Let's go see a movie !
34
00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:15,341
( crowd chanting )
No war ! No war ! No war !...
35
00:01:20,112 --> 00:01:23,583
No war, m'kay !
No war, m'kay !
36
00:01:24,016 --> 00:01:25,751
Oh, here you go, boys,
These will help you protest.
37
00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:29,655
It's good to see that you care
About peace, boys, m'kay.
38
00:01:29,655 --> 00:01:31,824
No war, m'kay !
39
00:01:31,824 --> 00:01:33,993
Excuse me, boys,
Tom statzl,hbcnews--
40
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,596
Can you tell me why you kids
Marched out of school today ?
41
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:41,367
Uh... War ?
42
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,536
Right, what about
The war ?
43
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:45,705
It, it's...
44
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,006
It's gay.
45
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,609
Uh-huh, and what aspect of it
Do you think is most gay ?
46
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,777
Uh, no blood for oil !
47
00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:53,946
Yeah, war is not
My voice.
48
00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:56,983
Bush is a "nay-zee".
49
00:01:57,416 --> 00:01:59,151
Hey all you
Un-american bastards !
50
00:01:59,151 --> 00:02:02,188
If you don't like america,
Why don't you get out ?
51
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,489
Yeah !
52
00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:05,224
Don't you call us
Un-american !
53
00:02:05,224 --> 00:02:09,128
This country was founded on
The right to protest, m'kay !
54
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:10,429
Yeah !
55
00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:12,598
If the founding fathers
Saw you burning your flag
56
00:02:12,598 --> 00:02:14,333
And calling the
President a nazi,
57
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,502
They'd roll over
In their graves !
58
00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:17,803
Yeah !
Yeah !
59
00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,406
The founding fathers would agree
With our right to protest.
60
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:23,876
The founding fathers would
Kick all your asses !
61
00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:28,214
Boys, what do you think the
Founding fathers would say ?
62
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,949
The foggy who ?
63
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:35,154
Well, i hope
You little commies
64
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,323
Are pretty pleased
With yourselves--
65
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,058
Going out there
And protesting america
66
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,793
And then saying on
National television
67
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,396
That you don't even know
Who the founding fathers are !
68
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:47,299
You kids don't know squat
About america, do you ?!
69
00:02:47,299 --> 00:02:49,902
Well, not really, no.
70
00:02:49,902 --> 00:02:51,203
Well, that's just jingles.
71
00:02:51,203 --> 00:02:52,938
Because i'm assigning
All you little flag-burners
72
00:02:53,372 --> 00:02:56,842
A full report on 1776
And the founding fathers !
73
00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:58,144
( all )
Awww !
74
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,445
Shut up !
75
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:00,746
I want you all in your
Study groups of four,
76
00:03:00,746 --> 00:03:02,048
And if you can't give an
Outstanding report
77
00:03:02,481 --> 00:03:05,084
On what the founding fathers
Would have to say
78
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,253
About all this protesting,
Then it's "f"s for you !
79
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,422
( bell rings )
80
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:15,061
Eh...
81
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:18,531
Eh heh...
82
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,832
I can't do it.
83
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:22,001
This is way too much
Material for a 9-year-old.
84
00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,170
Yeaagh !
85
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,037
Oh, no you don't,
Cartman !
86
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:26,338
Every time we get put
In a study group
87
00:03:26,772 --> 00:03:28,507
You sit on ass while the
Rest of us do all the work !
88
00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:30,242
But you guys are such
Better studiers than me.
89
00:03:30,242 --> 00:03:31,544
I know you can
Pull it off.
90
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,713
You're gonna read this stuff
And study like the rest of us !
91
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:37,183
Myaaa ! Mya !
92
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,918
Shut up and study !
93
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:41,520
Myaaaa,
Mya, mya.
94
00:03:56,702 --> 00:03:58,003
Hmm, 1776,
95
00:03:58,003 --> 00:04:00,172
When our founding fathers
Created america.
96
00:04:00,172 --> 00:04:02,775
I wonder what it used to
Be like in those days.
97
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,944
In those days.
In those days.
98
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:06,679
In those days.
99
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:07,980
What are you doing ?
100
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:09,715
I'm trying to have
A flashback.
101
00:04:09,715 --> 00:04:10,583
A what ?
102
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,884
You know, if i have
A flashback
103
00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:14,053
Then i can see what 1776
Was like firsthand.
104
00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:15,354
No, you just
Have to study.
105
00:04:15,354 --> 00:04:16,655
No, i've seen this
Work before,
106
00:04:16,655 --> 00:04:17,957
Just give me a second.
107
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,692
Oh, okay,
How about this ?
108
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:22,294
Say, guys,
1776 was so long ago,
109
00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:24,463
I wonder what life would
Have been like back then.
110
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,198
Back then.
Back then.
111
00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:28,801
Back then.
112
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,741
Oh wait, i know--
113
00:04:35,741 --> 00:04:38,344
You know, guys, i don't
Even care about 1776 !
114
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,513
It was so long ago
115
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:41,814
That i don't think it has
Anything to do with me.
116
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:44,850
With me.
With me.
117
00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:46,585
Anything to do
With me, with me.
118
00:04:47,019 --> 00:04:48,320
That isn't gonna work,
Dumb-ass !
119
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,489
Kids, let's keep it down
For study groups
120
00:04:50,489 --> 00:04:53,092
Or else mr. Garrison's
Going to punish me.
121
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,261
Just face it, cartman, you're
Going to have to study !
122
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:58,731
Myaaa !
Mya, myaaa !
123
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:03,502
There, all finished !
124
00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:06,972
From now on, this is
The pro-war side of the town
125
00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:08,707
And that's the
Unpatriotic side.
126
00:05:08,707 --> 00:05:10,442
Yeah !
That's right !
127
00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:12,611
How about we call this
The rational side of town
128
00:05:13,045 --> 00:05:14,780
And that the
Redneck side !
129
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,081
( laughter )
130
00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:17,817
You just keep all
Your flag burning
131
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,853
And your hippie rock protest
Songs on your side of the town !
132
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:22,588
Hey, wait a minute.
133
00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,757
Your side of town
Has the post office.
134
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,926
Well, your side has
The grocery store.
135
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:29,094
You can come to our side
To use the post office
136
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:31,697
If we can go to your side
To use the grocery store.
137
00:05:31,697 --> 00:05:34,300
Uh, can we cross the line
To take our kids to school ?
138
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,468
Well, naturally you can
Cross the line for that,
139
00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:39,071
Just like we can cross
For hardware supplies, gas
140
00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:40,372
And pharmaceutical needs.
141
00:05:40,372 --> 00:05:41,674
Yeah, okay,
Yeah, sure.
142
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,710
Hey everybody, this is
Never gonna work.
143
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,011
Don't you see ?
144
00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:49,048
All this dividin' up the town--
It's just ridiculous.
145
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,783
What we really
Should be doing
146
00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:53,819
Is just beating the hell out of
Each other like we were.
147
00:05:53,819 --> 00:05:55,554
He's right.
148
00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:58,157
Boy, do i feel
Like a fool.
149
00:06:01,193 --> 00:06:02,494
Cartman, what the hell
Are you doing ?
150
00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:03,796
You're supposed to
Be studying !
151
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,097
That's what i'm doing.
152
00:06:05,097 --> 00:06:06,398
I'm about to find out
All about what happened
153
00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:07,700
Back in 1776.
154
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,001
How ?
155
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,302
All i have to do is be thinking
About american history
156
00:06:10,302 --> 00:06:11,604
When i walk through
This doorway.
157
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,339
I'll trip the rope, causing
The rock to fall on my head,
158
00:06:13,772 --> 00:06:15,074
And then i will
Have a flashback
159
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,809
To the times of our
Founding fathers !
160
00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:18,978
Cartman, you are hereby declared
A full-fledged retard.
161
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,713
Ha-ha, make fun of me
All you want, kyle,
162
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,014
But i will have
The last laugh.
163
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:24,617
Gentlemen, if you will clear
The doorway, please ?
164
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,822
( clears throat )
165
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:31,123
Oh, gee, i wonder what it
Used to be like
166
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,292
In the year 1776 ?
167
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:35,895
Eh !
168
00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:41,533
Derh.
Derh...
169
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:44,136
Cartman ?
Cartman !
170
00:06:44,136 --> 00:06:45,437
Benjamin franklin ?
171
00:06:45,437 --> 00:06:46,305
No, turd pants,
It's kyle !
172
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:47,606
Kyle.
173
00:06:47,606 --> 00:06:52,378
Get-out-of-my-flashback,
You-god-damn-jew.
174
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,848
Rabble, rabble !
Rabble !
175
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,450
Okay, people, what are we
Rabbling about now ?
176
00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:00,185
Mayor, our peace rally
177
00:07:00,185 --> 00:07:01,921
Has always been set
For this saturday,
178
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,656
And now these
Pro-war bastards
179
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:06,258
Are suddenly trying to say
They get the town square.
180
00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:07,993
That's bullcrap, mayor !
181
00:07:07,993 --> 00:07:10,162
Our rally to support the war
Was setup months ago.
182
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,198
There was no war
Months ago !
183
00:07:13,198 --> 00:07:16,669
Hey, if you don't like america
Then you can get out !
184
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:17,970
Look, nobody wants to hear
A bunch of twangy
185
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:20,572
Country music
Pro-war propaganda !
186
00:07:20,572 --> 00:07:23,175
Nobody wants to hear a bunch
Of rock protest songs !
187
00:07:23,175 --> 00:07:24,476
Yeah !
188
00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:26,211
Up yours, rednecks !
189
00:07:26,211 --> 00:07:27,513
Rabble, rabble,
Rabble !
190
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:28,814
Quiet, people !
191
00:07:28,814 --> 00:07:30,549
The town square
Is public space.
192
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:33,152
That means if neither group
Will nicely and maturely
193
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,453
Move the day of its rally,
194
00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:37,056
I'll just have to give the
Town square to both groups.
195
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:38,791
Alright, that's fine,
196
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,092
Because our
War support songs
197
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,827
Will be a thousand
Times better !
198
00:07:41,827 --> 00:07:43,562
Oh, you think so ?
Bring the shizzle.
199
00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:45,297
We'll trizzle that shizzle
All over the hizzle.
200
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:46,598
Yeah ?
201
00:07:46,598 --> 00:07:49,201
See you saturday, mckizzer
Shanizzernilla shnazz
202
00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:50,936
Beyaznatch kazizza.
203
00:07:50,936 --> 00:07:53,105
Cartman ?
Cartman ?
204
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,840
You better be studying,
God dammit.
205
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:57,876
Ah, stan, kyle, kenny--
You're just in time.
206
00:07:57,876 --> 00:07:59,178
Oh, no.
207
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:00,479
Oh yes ! I am just
About to flashback
208
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:01,780
To the days of our
Founding fathers.
209
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,082
Cartman, you're supposed
To be studying !
210
00:08:03,515 --> 00:08:04,383
What the hell
Is all this ?!
211
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:05,684
I have programmedtivo
212
00:08:05,684 --> 00:08:06,986
To record over 50 hours
Ofthe history channel.
213
00:08:07,419 --> 00:08:08,721
When the tivo is full,
Both tivo and i will be
214
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:09,588
Dropped into the water,
215
00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:10,889
Combining our
Electro-whatever fields,
216
00:08:11,323 --> 00:08:12,624
And sending me into
A flashback of history.
217
00:08:12,624 --> 00:08:14,793
Uh, cartman, i think that's
A really bad idea.
218
00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,528
Or a really sweet one.
219
00:08:16,962 --> 00:08:18,263
( ding )
Your tivo is full.
220
00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:19,131
Oh, here it goes !
221
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,409
Cartman ?
222
00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:31,710
Cartman ?
223
00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:33,445
Aw, crap.
224
00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:42,121
Oh, awesome !
225
00:08:42,554 --> 00:08:43,422
Oy there,
Young lad !
226
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:44,289
Are you alright ?
227
00:08:44,289 --> 00:08:46,025
Yeah, yeah, can you
Tell me what year it is ?
228
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:46,892
This year ?
229
00:08:46,892 --> 00:08:48,627
Why, it's 1776,
It is.
230
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:50,362
Oh yes !
I did it, i did it !
231
00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:52,097
Would you like a ride
Into town ?
232
00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:53,832
I'm on my way to master
Thomas jefferson's house
233
00:08:53,832 --> 00:08:55,567
To get a very important
Document, i am.
234
00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:58,604
Oh, kick ( bleepin' )
Ass, dude !
235
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,773
Never seen you
Around 'ere, friend.
236
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:02,508
Might ye be from
Up north ?
237
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:03,809
No, i'm not from here at all,
I'm having a flashback.
238
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,412
A flashback ?
Why, what is that ?
239
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:09,448
Well, you know, it's a--
Oh, awesome !
240
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:13,352
♪ look at me
I'm back in time, in 1776 ♪
241
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:15,087
♪ with gaslight corners
Cobblestone streets ♪
242
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,256
♪ and humble houses
Made of bricks ♪
243
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,858
♪ what a special
Magic time ♪
244
00:09:19,858 --> 00:09:22,027
♪ and it's all
Alive for me ♪
245
00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:23,328
♪ i'm so glad
Stan and kyle aren't here ♪
246
00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:27,232
♪ i hate those guys
Seriously ♪
247
00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:29,401
♪ seriously hate
Those guys ♪
248
00:09:29,401 --> 00:09:31,136
♪ hate stan & kyle ♪♪
249
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:38,410
Is he going to be
Alright, doctor ?
250
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,145
Your son tried to
Kill himself
251
00:09:40,145 --> 00:09:42,314
In a ritualistic fashion
I've never seen before.
252
00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:44,049
His chances of surviving
Are very slim.
253
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:46,218
I'm so sorry.
254
00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:48,387
Oh baby, baby,
You can't die !
255
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:50,122
Yeah, we have a report
To do, asshole !
256
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:52,291
Get up !
Get up !
257
00:09:52,724 --> 00:09:53,592
Ooh, easy, kyle.
258
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:54,893
But it's not fair !
259
00:09:55,327 --> 00:09:56,195
We have to do a full report
On the founding fathers
260
00:09:56,628 --> 00:09:57,930
And cartman got out of
Helping us again !
261
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,231
I guess we're just
Gonna have to do it
262
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:00,099
With the three of us.
263
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,834
Come on, guys.
264
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,002
I know you're in a very dark
Place now, sweetie,
265
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,737
But you must come
Toward the light.
266
00:10:05,737 --> 00:10:07,906
Come toward light !
267
00:10:07,906 --> 00:10:09,641
'Ere we are, then,
268
00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:11,810
The current residence of
Master thomas jefferson !
269
00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:13,545
Super neat-o !
270
00:10:13,979 --> 00:10:16,148
I'm afraid you'll
Have to wait here.
271
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,883
But i need to talk to
The founding fathers
272
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:18,750
To do my report.
273
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,486
Sorry, only the
Official messenger boy
274
00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:22,221
Is allowed to talk to
Mr. Jefferson.
275
00:10:22,654 --> 00:10:26,125
Oh, okay,
I guess i understand.
276
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,426
♪ i don't wanna wait ♪
277
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,161
♪ for our lives
To be over ♪♪
278
00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:33,065
( screaming )
279
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:42,174
Hello, i am
Thomas jefferson.
280
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:44,776
And i am the official
Messenger boy, i am !
281
00:10:44,776 --> 00:10:49,114
Very well, take this document
To the continental congress.
282
00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:50,849
Wow, the declaration of
Independence day.
283
00:10:50,849 --> 00:10:53,018
Some favor going to war
With england
284
00:10:53,018 --> 00:10:55,621
And others want to
Avoid war at all costs.
285
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:56,922
It's a bitch, ain't it ?
286
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,657
Perhaps this document will
Make the reasons for war
287
00:10:58,657 --> 00:10:59,958
Obvious to all.
288
00:11:00,392 --> 00:11:03,428
Good luck, young messenger,
Now make haste !
289
00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:07,332
Okay, so thomas jefferson wrote
The declaration of independence,
290
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:09,067
Then the continental
Congress--
291
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:11,236
No war !
No war !
292
00:11:11,236 --> 00:11:12,538
No war !
293
00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:13,839
Oh, jesus.
294
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,140
Uh, boys, would you mind
Clearing the living room ?
295
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,875
We have to practice our
Big war protest song.
296
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:18,177
Dad, we have to study !
297
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,478
Mr. Garrison is making us
Do a presentation
298
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:21,647
On what the founding fathers
Would say about the war.
299
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,249
Hey, that's
A terrific idea !
300
00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:25,117
Yeah !
301
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:26,418
We could have the boys
Do their presentation
302
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,587
As part of our peace rally
On saturday !
303
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,322
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
304
00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,925
Support our troops !
Support our troops !
305
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:35,093
See ? I told you
They had your son !
306
00:11:35,093 --> 00:11:35,961
Kenny !
307
00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:37,696
What are you doing
Over here with all these
308
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:38,997
Un-american traitors ?
309
00:11:38,997 --> 00:11:40,299
I'm doing my
Homework.
310
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:42,467
The boys are going to give
A presentation atourrally
311
00:11:42,901 --> 00:11:43,769
About how the founding
Fathers would agree
312
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,504
With our right
To protest.
313
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:46,805
What ?
314
00:11:46,805 --> 00:11:48,974
Actually, we hadn't
Really come to a--
315
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:52,010
Look, my son is a patriot
And loves his country !
316
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:53,312
Come on, kenny !
317
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:54,613
But dad--
Now !
318
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:57,649
Support our troops !
Support our troops !
319
00:11:57,649 --> 00:11:59,818
Oh, kenny, no--
Aw, aw.
320
00:11:59,818 --> 00:12:01,553
Aw, now we lost two
In our study group !
321
00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:03,288
God dammit !
322
00:12:03,288 --> 00:12:04,590
Can you believe those
Hick sons a bitches ?
323
00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:06,758
Manipulating their kids
Into being on their side !
324
00:12:06,758 --> 00:12:08,060
Disgraceful !
325
00:12:08,493 --> 00:12:10,229
Stan and kyle, it's up to you
To show all those war mongerers
326
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,397
That the founding fathers
Agree with us !
327
00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:14,566
( man )
Yeah, that's right,
Let's get back to work.
328
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:16,301
Do you think kids
In every town
329
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,036
Have to deal with
This crap ?
330
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,543
( man )
Enter, young messenger !
331
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:34,519
I am john hancock,
President of the congress.
332
00:12:34,953 --> 00:12:36,255
Wow !
333
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,122
Mr. John adams ?
334
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:38,423
Aye.
335
00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:40,158
Will you do the honors of
Reading the document
336
00:12:40,158 --> 00:12:42,327
To congress, please ?
337
00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:45,364
When in the course
Of human events,
338
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,099
It becomes necessary
For one people to...
339
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,834
We mutually pledge
To each other,
340
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:54,039
Our lives our fortunes
And our sacred honor.
341
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:58,810
P.s. Every thursday should be
Free ice cream day.
342
00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:04,449
Excuse me, but does this
Declaration actually suggest
343
00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:06,618
That we should go to war
With england ?
344
00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:08,787
We have no choice,
Mr. Dickenson.
345
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:10,522
( shouting )
346
00:13:11,823 --> 00:13:14,426
Alright, everyone,
Thank you all for coming out
347
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:17,029
To protest the war, m'kay !
348
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:17,896
( applause )
349
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,631
Don't kid yourselves !
350
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:22,234
These people have come out to
Support our troops, right ?!
351
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,403
( applause )
352
00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:27,005
And now, randy marsh is
Gonna sing a protest song
353
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:28,740
He wrote about the war--
354
00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:30,475
Oh no, you don't !
355
00:13:30,475 --> 00:13:32,644
We're doing our
Pro-war song first !
356
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,379
Yeah ! The last thing
These people want
357
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:36,982
Is another bleeding-heart
Rock protest song !
358
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:40,018
People, i told you,
You have to share the stage.
359
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:43,922
Nobody wants to hear another
Pro-war country song !
360
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:46,091
Well, excuse me if--
361
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:49,995
♪ i'm a little bit
Country ♪
362
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,597
♪ well, i'm a little bit
Rock n' roll-a ♪
363
00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:56,068
♪ i'm a little for
Supportin' our troops ♪
364
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:59,538
♪ and i'm a little for
Bringin' 'em home ♪
365
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,707
♪ i believe freedom
Isn't free ♪
366
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:03,442
♪ no, but war
Shouldn't be our goal ♪
367
00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:06,044
♪ we must defend
Our country ♪
368
00:14:06,044 --> 00:14:09,081
♪ if it means war
Than we say no ♪
369
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:15,587
♪ did you forget them
Towers in new york ? ♪
370
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:19,925
♪ did you forget
How it made you feel ♪
371
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:22,961
♪ to see them
Towers come down ? ♪
372
00:14:22,961 --> 00:14:25,997
♪ were you like me
Did you think ♪
373
00:14:25,997 --> 00:14:28,600
♪ it weren't real ? ♪
374
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,504
♪ i like to rock, but i don't
Want to rock iraq ♪
375
00:14:34,239 --> 00:14:37,275
♪ the only kind of rockin'
America should do ♪
376
00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:40,312
♪ is the kind that we
Can all dance to ♪
377
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:43,348
♪ we've got g.p.s.
I.c.b.m.s ♪
378
00:14:43,348 --> 00:14:46,385
♪ and good
Ol' fashion lead ♪
379
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:49,421
♪ we're gonna show saddam
What america means ♪
380
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:52,891
♪ that son of a bitch
Will be dead ♪
381
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:55,494
♪ why are we
Fightin' this war ? ♪
382
00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:58,964
♪ there's a man in the office
We didn't vote for ♪
383
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,699
♪ they didn't
Give me a choice ♪
384
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:04,603
♪ war is not my voice
Yeah ♪
385
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,772
( shouting )
386
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:10,675
We must go to war !
387
00:15:10,675 --> 00:15:11,977
But what about
The violence,
388
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,278
The lives lost ?
389
00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:14,579
If we found a country
390
00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:16,748
It should be founded on
Peace and diplomacy !
391
00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:19,785
England will only understand
One thing-- force.
392
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:21,520
I must state again
For the record
393
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,255
That south carolina,
North carolina,
394
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,291
Pennsylvania, maryland and
Georgia are against war !
395
00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:28,026
Yeah, because
You don't care about
396
00:15:28,026 --> 00:15:30,195
The fate of the colonies
Like we do.
397
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:31,496
You're all unpatriotic !
398
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:35,400
If you don't like the colonies,
Then you can get out !
399
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,701
Don't you call us
Unpatriotic !
400
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:38,437
We are protesting
This war because
401
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:41,039
We care so deeply for
The fate of our colonies !
402
00:15:41,039 --> 00:15:42,774
You are all unpatriotic
For leading the colonies
403
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:45,811
Into a war that
Half of them don't want !
404
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,112
( shouting )
405
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,281
Whoa, how very,
Very relevant.
406
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:54,119
Tom, i'm standing
In the town square
407
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,420
Where the war rally
Has been going on
408
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:58,023
For an incredible
87 hours.
409
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,625
The crowd still appears to
Split right down the middle.
410
00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:03,662
Half support country music and
The other half rock n' roll.
411
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:04,963
Let's listen in.
412
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:07,132
And now we'd like to bring out
A couple of very special
413
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,867
South park students
414
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,602
Who did a report on
What the founding fathers
415
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:12,771
Would have to say
About the war.
416
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:14,506
( applause )
417
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:17,976
( all )
Boo !
418
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,579
For you people who still
Think war is the answer,
419
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:24,483
Perhaps you can listen to
The voices of the children.
420
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,989
Uh, we didn't do it.
421
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:32,290
What ?
422
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:34,459
We didn't do
Our homework.
423
00:16:34,459 --> 00:16:36,194
Boys ! You were supposed
To come up here
424
00:16:36,194 --> 00:16:38,363
And tell everyone about
The founding fathers !
425
00:16:38,363 --> 00:16:40,098
Well, first we lost
One study partner
426
00:16:40,098 --> 00:16:41,399
When cartman put himself
In the hospital,
427
00:16:41,399 --> 00:16:42,701
And then they
Took kenny away.
428
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,002
And then kyle forgot to
Set his clock ahead
429
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:45,303
For daylight savings
And we couldn't find anything
430
00:16:45,303 --> 00:16:46,605
In the history books
About iraq and--
431
00:16:47,038 --> 00:16:48,340
That's because
The founding fathers
432
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,075
Would have supported
The war !
433
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:53,111
The founding fathers would
Have protested like us !
434
00:16:53,111 --> 00:16:53,979
Support !
435
00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:55,280
Protest !
436
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,147
Country !
437
00:16:56,581 --> 00:16:58,316
Rock n' roll !
438
00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:10,462
Rabble ! Rabble !
Rabble !...
439
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,366
We cannot found a country
Based on war !
440
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:18,270
We cannot found a country
That is afraid to fight !
441
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,137
Rabble !
442
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,306
Rabble !
Rabble !
443
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,607
( murmuring )
444
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:23,909
Oh, benjamin franklin.
445
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:24,776
Benjamin franklin.
446
00:17:24,776 --> 00:17:26,077
It's mr. Franklin.
447
00:17:26,077 --> 00:17:27,812
Oh, benjamin franklin.
Franklin, franklin.
448
00:17:27,812 --> 00:17:29,114
Benjamin franklin.
449
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:33,018
Mr. Franklin, where do you
Stand on the war issue ?
450
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:36,922
I believe that if we are
To form a new country
451
00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:40,392
We cannot be a country that
Appears war-hungry and violent
452
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,127
To the rest
Of the world.
453
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,296
However, we also
Cannot be a country
454
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:46,898
That appears weak and
Unwilling to fight
455
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:48,633
To the rest of the world.
456
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,103
So, what if we
Form a country--
457
00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:55,574
That appears
To want both ?
458
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:58,176
Yes.
Yes, of course.
459
00:17:58,176 --> 00:17:59,911
We go to war.
460
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,948
And protest going to war
At the same time !
461
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:03,815
Right !
462
00:18:03,815 --> 00:18:05,116
If the people of
Our new country
463
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:06,418
Are allowed to do
Whatever they wish
464
00:18:06,851 --> 00:18:09,454
Then some will support the war
And some will protest it.
465
00:18:09,454 --> 00:18:11,623
And that means
That as a nation
466
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:13,792
We could go to war
With whomever we wished
467
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:17,262
But at the same time
Act like we didn't want to.
468
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,997
If we allow the people
469
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:21,166
To protest what
The government does,
470
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,768
Then the country will be
Forever blameless !
471
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:27,672
It's like having your cake
And eating it too.
472
00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:31,142
Think of it, an entire nation
Founded on saying one thing
473
00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:32,877
And doing another.
474
00:18:32,877 --> 00:18:35,046
And we will
Call that country
475
00:18:35,046 --> 00:18:38,083
The united states
Of america.
476
00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:39,384
Wow !
477
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,987
I get it now !
I get it !
478
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:43,722
Whoa, here it goes.
479
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,023
I wish i could
Go back to my time.
480
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,059
To my time.
To-to my time.
481
00:18:48,493 --> 00:18:50,662
Wow !
482
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,711
Everyone, stop,
Please !
483
00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:08,446
The-- the child.
484
00:19:08,446 --> 00:19:10,181
The child
From the hospital !
485
00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:13,652
If you all don't mind, i would
Like to do my report now.
486
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,820
I know what the
Founding fathers would say.
487
00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:17,122
He does ?
488
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:17,989
He does ?
489
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:19,724
I learned
Something today.
490
00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:21,459
This country was founded by
Some of the smartest thinkers
491
00:19:21,459 --> 00:19:22,761
The world has ever seen.
492
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:24,062
And they knew
One thing:
493
00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:25,797
That a truly great country
Can go to war
494
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,833
And at the same time
Act like it doesn't want to.
495
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:31,002
You people
Who are for the war--
496
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:32,303
You need the protestors
497
00:19:32,303 --> 00:19:33,605
Because they make
The country look like
498
00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:35,340
It's made of sane,
Caring individuals.
499
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,641
And you people
Who are anti-war--
500
00:19:36,641 --> 00:19:37,942
You need these
Flag wavers
501
00:19:37,942 --> 00:19:39,678
Because if our whole
Country was made up
502
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,413
Of nothing but soft,
Pussy protestors
503
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,148
We'd get taken down
In a second.
504
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,316
That's why the founding fathers
Decided we should have both.
505
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:48,787
It's called having your cake
And eating it too.
506
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,522
He's right.
507
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,257
The strength of this country
Is the ability
508
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,992
To do one thing
And say another.
509
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:57,028
Yeah, if it weren't for
All you guys protesting
510
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:59,631
Everyone around the world
Would hate the american people
511
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,366
Instead of
Just the president.
512
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,535
And if it weren't for
You people flexing your arms
513
00:20:03,968 --> 00:20:07,439
America could easily get taken
Over by terrorists, or china.
514
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:10,041
I guess we owe you
An apology.
515
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:12,210
I guess
We owe you one.
516
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:15,246
( everyone )
Aw...
517
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:20,452
Cartman ?
Cartman saved the day ?
518
00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:21,753
It can't be.
519
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:23,488
The founding fathers
Want you all to know
520
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:24,789
That we can disagree
All we want,
521
00:20:24,789 --> 00:20:26,958
As long as we agree
That america kicks ass.
522
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:29,994
♪ hey, i'm a little
Bit country ♪
523
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:33,465
♪ and i'm a little bit
Rock n' roll-a ♪
524
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,633
♪ i'll be the
Muscle of america ♪
525
00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:39,104
♪ and me, i'll be
The caring soul ♪
526
00:20:39,537 --> 00:20:40,839
♪ when you
Put us together ♪
527
00:20:41,272 --> 00:20:42,574
♪ you get a nation
With one goal ♪
528
00:20:43,007 --> 00:20:45,176
♪ to thrive and prosper ♪
529
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:48,213
♪ with a little country
And rock n' roll ♪
530
00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:49,948
Come on up here,
Everybody !
531
00:20:52,984 --> 00:20:54,719
♪ we're a little
Bit country ♪
532
00:20:54,719 --> 00:20:56,888
♪ we're a little bit
Rock n' roll ♪
533
00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:59,491
We can be a nation
That believes in war...
534
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:02,093
And still tells the world
That we don't.
535
00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:05,563
♪ let the flag for hypocrisy
Fly high from every pole ♪
536
00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:07,732
♪ 'cause we're
A little bit country ♪
537
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:11,202
♪ and we're a little bit
Rock n' roll ♪
538
00:21:11,202 --> 00:21:12,504
Well, good night, everybody,
539
00:21:12,937 --> 00:21:14,672
It sure has been great
Bringing you 100 episodes.
540
00:21:15,106 --> 00:21:17,709
We wanna thank our guests,
The pro-war people...
541
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:19,010
( applause )
542
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,046
And the anti-war
People.
543
00:21:22,046 --> 00:21:23,348
What the hell
Are they doing now ?
544
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:24,649
I don't know.
545
00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:26,384
♪ for the war
Against the war ♪
546
00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:29,854
♪ who cares ?
100 episodes ♪♪
547
00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:35,493
I hate this town,
I really, really do.
548
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:39,397
Captioning made possible by
Comedy central
549
00:21:40,698 --> 00:21:42,000
Captioned by
Soundwriters™
37728
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