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00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:08,307
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COMEDY CENTRAL
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00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,042
♪ I'M GOING DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
3
00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:12,211
♪ GONNA HAVE
MYSELF A TIME ♪
4
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:13,946
♪ FRIENDLY FACES
EVERYWHERE ♪
5
00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,681
♪ HUMBLE FOLKS
WITHOUT TEMPTATION ♪
6
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:16,549
♪ GOING DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
7
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:18,718
♪ GONNA LEAVE MY
WOES BEHIND ♪
8
00:00:19,151 --> 00:00:20,453
♪ AMPLE PARKING
DAY OR NIGHT ♪
9
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:22,188
♪ PEOPLE SPOUTING
"HOWDY NEIGHBOR" ♪
10
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,489
♪ HEADIN' ON UP
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
11
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,658
♪ GONNA SEE
IF I CAN'T UNWIND ♪
12
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:27,827
♪ ( muffled mumble
muffled mumble ) ♪
13
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:29,996
♪ SO COME ON DOWN
TO SOUTH PARK ♪
14
00:00:30,429 --> 00:00:32,164
♪ AND MEET SOME
FRIENDS OF MINE ♪♪
15
00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:35,434
( school bell rings )
16
00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:38,037
OKAY, GOOD,
CHILDREN, GOOD.
17
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:39,772
REMEMBER TO
FEEL THE CLAY.
18
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,507
BE ONE WITH THE CLAY.
19
00:00:41,507 --> 00:00:43,242
NICE, UH-HUH.
20
00:00:43,242 --> 00:00:44,977
( all mischivously giggling )
21
00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:46,712
PUT MORE CLAY
ON THE BALLS.
22
00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:50,182
BOYS, WHAT IS THAT ?
23
00:00:50,182 --> 00:00:51,484
A REINDEER ?
24
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:52,785
Y'KNOW, I'VE HAD IT.
25
00:00:52,785 --> 00:00:55,388
YOU FOUR BOYS NEVER TAKE
ART CLASS SERIOUSLY !
26
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,255
WHAT A CRIME.
27
00:00:56,689 --> 00:00:58,858
YOU THINK ART
IS NOT IMPORTANT ?
28
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,894
WELL, ART'S JUST KINDA...
FOR GAYWADS.
29
00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:02,762
I LOVE ART CLASS !
30
00:01:03,195 --> 00:01:04,063
SEE ?
31
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,798
DO YOU THINK
THIS IS FUNNY ?
32
00:01:05,798 --> 00:01:09,268
DO YOU THINK THIS IS
FUNNY, HUH ?!
33
00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:12,305
( snickering )
34
00:01:12,738 --> 00:01:14,040
WELL, YOU FOUR CAN JUST
SPEND YOUR AFTERNOON
35
00:01:14,473 --> 00:01:17,510
AFTER SCHOOL HERE,
MAKING NEW POTTERY !
36
00:01:18,811 --> 00:01:19,679
YOU CAN'T DO THAT !
37
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:21,414
I CERTAINLY CAN,
I'M YOUR TEACHER.
38
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,715
YOU'RE AN ART TEACHER !
39
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,450
MAKE IT TWO HOURS.
40
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:27,486
MRS. STREIBEL THINKS
SHE'S SO COOL !
41
00:01:27,486 --> 00:01:29,221
HOW DARE SHE TALK TO US
LIKE THAT !
42
00:01:29,221 --> 00:01:30,523
YEAH, SHE'S A...
( garbled )
43
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:32,692
WE CAN'T LET HER
GET AWAY WITH THIS.
44
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:34,860
I THINK TONIGHT WE NEED
TO SOMETHING DRASTIC.
45
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:35,728
LIKE WHAT ?
46
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:37,897
LIKE FIND OUT WHERE
MRS. STREIBEL LIVES.
47
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:38,764
AND GO OVER THERE.
48
00:01:38,764 --> 00:01:41,367
AND...
T.P. HER HOUSE.
49
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,102
YEAH !
50
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,403
T.P. HER HOUSE ?
51
00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:46,138
TOILET PAPER-- COVER HER
HOUSE IN TOILET PAPER.
52
00:01:46,138 --> 00:01:47,440
OH.
53
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,175
WHAT'S THE MATTER, KYLE,
YOU CHICKEN ?
54
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,777
BAWK BAWK,
BAWK BAWK BAWK.
55
00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:52,645
AHH !
56
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:53,946
QUIET, BOYS !
57
00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:56,115
THIS ISN'T PLAY TIME,
YOU'RE BEING PUNISHED !
58
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,850
FINE.
59
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,151
BUT WE'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH
TONIGHT, ART WHORE.
60
00:01:59,585 --> 00:02:02,188
YEAH, PAYBACK TIME,
YOU UGLY SKANK.
61
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:09,128
YOU THINK
THAT'S ENOUGH ?
62
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:10,429
SHOULD BE FINE.
63
00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:11,731
DON'T YOU GUYS THINK THIS IS
A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS.
64
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,466
WE SHOULD BUY SOMETHING ELSE
SO IT DOESN'T LOOK OBVIOUS.
65
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,767
OKAY.
66
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,502
HERE WE GO,
A PACK OF CHEWING GUM.
67
00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:18,671
HELLO BOYS, FIND
EVERYTHING YOU NEED ?
68
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:19,972
YUP, ALL SET.
69
00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:21,707
OKAY, LET'S SEE HERE,
TOILET PAPER.
70
00:02:21,707 --> 00:02:24,744
TOILET PAPER.
TOILET PAPER.
71
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,045
TOILET PAPER.
72
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:27,780
TOILET PAPER.
73
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,515
SO, WHAT ARE YOU KIDS
UP TO TONIGHT ?
74
00:02:29,515 --> 00:02:30,816
OH, WE'RE JUST GONNA
WATCH SOME TV,
75
00:02:30,816 --> 00:02:32,118
MAYBE PLAY A BOARD GAME.
76
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:33,419
NICE RELAXING
NIGHT AT HOME, HUH ?
77
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:35,154
TOILET PAPER,
TOILET PAPER.
78
00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:36,889
AND TOILET PAPER.
79
00:02:36,889 --> 00:02:38,190
HEY, HEY--
80
00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:40,359
NOW YOU KIDS BE CAREFUL
WITH THIS CHEWING GUM.
81
00:02:40,359 --> 00:02:42,094
DON'T GO STICKING IT
UNDER TABLES.
82
00:02:42,094 --> 00:02:43,396
OKAY.
83
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,564
OKAY, TOILET PAPER,
TOILET PAPER.
84
00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:47,299
TOILET PAPER.
85
00:02:47,299 --> 00:02:49,468
Y'KNOW, SON, I REMEMBER YOU
COMING IN LAST WEEK
86
00:02:49,468 --> 00:02:50,770
AND BUYING THIS MUCH
TOILET PAPER.
87
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,071
OH, YEAH,
THAT'S RIGHT.
88
00:02:52,071 --> 00:02:54,240
TOILET PAPER,
TOILET PAPER.
89
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,975
YOU T.P.'D A HOUSE
LAST WEEK, CARTMAN ?
90
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,710
NO, LAST THURSDAY NIGHT
WAS FAJITAS NIGHT.
91
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,445
OH.
92
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:00,312
AW.
93
00:03:05,951 --> 00:03:06,819
IS THIS
THE RIGHT HOUSE ?
94
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:07,687
IT'S THE RIGHT ADDRESS.
95
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,988
WAIT, LOOK THERE !
96
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:10,289
THERE'S MRS. STREIBEL !
THIS IS THE PLACE !
97
00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:14,193
( Kyle )
OH WAIT, WAIT,
THERE'S KIDS INSIDE.
98
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:15,494
SO ?
99
00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:16,362
SO I'M NOT T.P.'ING A HOUSE
WITH KIDS INSIDE IT.
100
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,097
KYLE, WE ALL
AGREED TO DO THIS.
101
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,832
WE DIDN'T SAY NOTHIN' ABOUT
NO KIDS, MAN !
102
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:21,133
KYLE, YOU'RE BEING
AN ASSHOLE.
103
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:24,170
LET'S DO THIS THING
AND GET OUT OF HERE.
104
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,471
HERE'S WHAT I THINK
OF YOUR ART CLASS,
105
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:26,338
YOU GOD DAMN BITCH !
106
00:03:26,338 --> 00:03:28,074
( Kenny )
YEAH, ---K YOU !
107
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:54,100
COME ON, LET'S GO !
108
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,702
WHAT HAVE WE DONE ?
109
00:03:56,702 --> 00:03:58,871
LET'S GO, KYLE !
110
00:04:02,341 --> 00:04:04,510
( panting )
111
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:07,546
WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
112
00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:08,848
WE'RE IN
SO MUCH TROUBLE !
113
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,583
OH MAN,
THAT WAS SO AWESOME !
114
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,884
HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ?
115
00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:13,185
DID YOU SEE WHAT WE DID
TO THEIR HOUSE ?
116
00:04:13,619 --> 00:04:14,487
IT'LL TAKE THEM DAYS
TO CLEAN THAT UP !
117
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:15,788
WHO CARES ?
118
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:16,655
WELL, YOU DON'T,
119
00:04:16,655 --> 00:04:17,957
BECAUSE YOU'RE AN UNCARING
ASSHOLE, CARTMAN !
120
00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:19,692
ME ?
121
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:23,162
THERE'S TOILET PAPER
ON YOUR HANDS TOO, KYLE.
122
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:24,463
CARTMAN'S RIGHT, KYLE.
123
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,632
WE'RE ALL IN THIS
TOGETHER.
124
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:31,403
NO, NO.
125
00:04:31,403 --> 00:04:33,572
NO !
126
00:04:33,572 --> 00:04:35,307
( scream )
127
00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:37,042
HONEY, WHAT IS IT ?
128
00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:39,645
OH, JESUS, NO,
OUR HOUSE !
129
00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,380
( both crying )
MOMMY !
130
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:42,681
MOMMY !
131
00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:44,416
WHY ?!
132
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,585
WHY ?!
133
00:04:46,585 --> 00:04:47,453
AH !
134
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,188
OH GOD.
OH GOD.
135
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:54,393
HEY, DID YOU GUYS HEAR WHAT
HAPPENED LAST NIGHT ?
136
00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,996
MRS. STREIBEL'S HOUSE GOT
COVERED WITH TOILET PAPER.
137
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:59,165
YEAH, THEY SAY IT'S GONNA TAKE
THREE WEEKS TO GET IT ALL DOWN.
138
00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:02,201
YEAH, WELL, OL' MRS. STREIBEL
PROBABLY HAD IT COMING TO HER.
139
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:03,502
I DON'T KNOW.
140
00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:05,671
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY DESERVES
THAT KIND OF BRUTALITY.
141
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:07,406
WELL, I UNDERSTAND THE PEOPLE
WHO DID IT WEREN'T CAUGHT,
142
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,575
SO LOOKS LIKE NOBODY WILL
EVER KNOW THE GENIUSES
143
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,744
WHO MASTERMINDED
THAT PERFECT CRIME.
144
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:13,479
( bell rings )
145
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,214
OKAY, CHILDREN,
LET'S TAKE OUR SEATS.
146
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:16,949
OH, UH-- STAN, KYLE,
ERIC AND KENNY--
147
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:18,684
THE COUNSELOR WANTS TO SEE YOU
IN HIS OFFICE NOW.
148
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:19,985
DAMN !
149
00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:21,720
OH GOD !
150
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,889
HOW THE HELL DID THEY
FIND OUT IT WAS US
151
00:05:23,889 --> 00:05:25,191
THAT T.P.'D THAT HOUSE ?
152
00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:26,492
WILL YOU RELAX, KYLE ?
153
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:27,793
THEY'VE GOT
NOTHING ON US.
154
00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:29,528
AS LONG AS WE ALL STICK TO
OUR STORY WE'LL BE FINE.
155
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:31,263
WE BETTER GO OVER OUR STORY
AGAIN SO WE DON'T SCREW IT UP.
156
00:05:31,263 --> 00:05:34,300
OKAY, LAST NIGHT ALL FOUR OF US
WERE AT THE BOWLING ALLEY
157
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,468
UNTIL ABOUT 7:30, AT WHICH TIME
WE NOTICED ALLY SHEEDY,
158
00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:38,637
THE GOTH CHICK FROM
"THE BREAKFAST CLUB",
159
00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:40,372
WAS BOWLING IN THE
LANE NEXT TO US
160
00:05:40,372 --> 00:05:41,240
AND WE ASKED FOR HER AUTOGRAPH,
BUT SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PEN
161
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,541
SO WE FOLLOWED HER
OUT TO HER CAR,
162
00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:43,843
BUT ON THE WAY WE WERE ACCOSTED
BY FIVE SCIENTOLOGISTS
163
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,144
WHO WANTED TO GIVE US ALL
PERSONALITY TESTS
164
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:46,445
WHICH WERE ADMINISTERED
AT THE SCIENTOLOGY CENTER
165
00:05:46,445 --> 00:05:47,746
IN DENVER UNTIL 10:45,
166
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,048
AT WHICH TIME WE ACCIDENTALLY
BOARDED THE WRONG BUS HOME
167
00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:51,217
AND ENDED UP IN
RANCHO DE FRITAS REJOS,
168
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,518
SOUTH OF CASTLE ROCK,
169
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:53,819
AND FINALLY GOT A RIDE
HOME WITH A MAN
170
00:05:53,819 --> 00:05:55,120
WHO WAS MISSING HIS LEFT INDEX
FINGER NAMED GARY BUSHWELL,
171
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,723
ARRIVING HOME AT 11:46.
172
00:05:57,723 --> 00:05:59,024
I'M CONFUSED.
173
00:05:59,024 --> 00:06:00,326
DID ALLY SHEEDY TAKE
THE PERSONALITY TEST ?
174
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:01,193
YES, DUDE !
175
00:06:01,193 --> 00:06:02,494
KYLE, IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
176
00:06:02,928 --> 00:06:03,796
WE FOLLOWED ALLY SHEEDY OUT
TO HER CAR, BUT ON THE WAY
177
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,097
WE WERE ACCOSTED BY
FIVE SCIENTOLOGISTS
178
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,398
WHO WANTED TO GIVE US ALL
PERSONALITY TESTS
179
00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:08,133
WHICH WERE ADMINISTERED
AT THE SCIENTOLOGY CENTER
180
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:09,435
IN DENVER UNTIL 10:45,
AT WHICH TIME
181
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:10,736
WE ACCIDENTALLY BOARDED
THE WRONG BUS HOME
182
00:06:10,736 --> 00:06:12,037
AND ENDED UP IN
RANCHO DE FRITAS REJOS,
183
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:13,339
SOUTH OF CASTLE ROCK,
184
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:14,640
AND FINALLY GOT
A RIDE HOME WITH A MAN
185
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:15,941
WHO WAS MISSING HIS LEFT INDEX
FINGER NAMED GARY BUSHEWELL,
186
00:06:15,941 --> 00:06:17,676
ARRIVING HOME AT 11:46.
187
00:06:17,676 --> 00:06:18,544
YOU GOT IT ?!
188
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,845
I... I CAN'T.
189
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:21,146
OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE !
190
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:22,448
LOOK, KYLE, JUST LET CARTMAN
DO ALL THE TALKING, OKAY ?
191
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,749
HE'S BETTER AT BEING
IN TROUBLE THAN ANYBODY.
192
00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:25,484
THANK YOU, STAN.
193
00:06:25,484 --> 00:06:26,785
SHH, SHH-- HERE THEY COME,
HERE THEY COME.
194
00:06:26,785 --> 00:06:28,520
AND SO I SAID, "THAT'S
A TERRIFIC JOKE, WENDY,
195
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,822
TELL US ANOTHER ONE !"
196
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,424
OH HELLO, MR. MACKEY ARE YOU
READY TO SEE US NOW ?
197
00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:35,027
WE'RE GONNA TALK TO YOU
ONE AT A TIME, BOYS, M'KAY.
198
00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:38,063
KENNY, WILL YOU STEP
INTO MY OFFICE, PLEASE ?
199
00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:38,931
ME ?
200
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,100
COME ON, KENNY,
LET'S GO, M'KAY.
201
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,437
TOUCHE, MR.MACKEY,
TOUCHE.
202
00:06:45,437 --> 00:06:46,305
WHY ARE THEY DOING US
ONE AT A TIME ?
203
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,474
THEY WANT TO SEE IF
WE MIX THE STORY UP.
204
00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:49,775
AND SEE IF SOMEBODY WILL
RAT OUT THE OTHER THREE
205
00:06:49,775 --> 00:06:51,076
FOR A BETTER DEAL.
206
00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:52,378
I CAN GET
A BETTER DEAL ?
207
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:53,679
KYLE, SO HELP ME GOD,
208
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:55,414
IF YOU JEW US OUT ON THIS ONE
I WILL ( bleeping ) KILL YOU !
209
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:59,318
THERE WE GO, THAT SHOULD BE
ABOUT THE LAST OF IT.
210
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,053
( humming )
211
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,692
EXCUSE ME, UH,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
212
00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,861
CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION.
213
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:11,030
THERE ARE SEVERAL
FOOTPRINTS IN THE SNOW--
214
00:07:11,463 --> 00:07:12,765
PERHAPS MORE THAN ONE
PERPETRATOR ?
215
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,500
UH, LOOK,
WE REALLY DON'T WANT TO
216
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,801
MAKE A BIG DEAL
OUT OF THIS.
217
00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:17,102
IS THAT THE
TOILET PAPER THERE ?
218
00:07:17,536 --> 00:07:19,271
I'LL NEED TO TAKE
THOSE BAGS AS EVIDENCE.
219
00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:21,440
LOOK, IT'S JUST NOT
THAT BIG A DEAL.
220
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,476
I MEAN, I TOILET-PAPERED HOUSES
MYSELF WHEN I WAS A KID.
221
00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:25,344
YOU ?!
222
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,513
SO WHERE WERE YOU
LAST NIGHT AT AROUND NINE ?
223
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,248
I WAS HERE !
224
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,417
AHA ! GOT YOU !
225
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,585
OFFICER, WHY WOULD I
T.P. MY OWN HOUSE ?
226
00:07:34,019 --> 00:07:35,321
INSURANCE ?
227
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:36,622
IT WASN'T ME, OKAY ?
228
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:37,489
NOW IF YOU
DON'T MIND
229
00:07:37,489 --> 00:07:39,224
I JUST WANT TO GET MY YARD
BACK TO NORMAL.
230
00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:40,526
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME--
231
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:41,827
WHOEVER T.P.'D YOUR HOUSE
232
00:07:41,827 --> 00:07:43,562
IS STILL OUT THERE
ROAMING THE STREETS.
233
00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:44,863
IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
BEFORE ANOTHER HOUSE
234
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:47,032
AND ANOTHER FAMILY
IS VICTIMIZED !
235
00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:49,201
I HAVE TO STOP THAT
FROM HAPPENING.
236
00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:52,671
YOU REALLY HAVE NOTHING
BETTER TO DO, DO YOU ?
237
00:07:52,671 --> 00:07:54,406
NO, I DO NOT.
238
00:07:57,876 --> 00:07:59,611
NO, NO.
239
00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:01,347
NO !
240
00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:03,515
( scream )
241
00:08:03,515 --> 00:08:05,684
OH, JESUS, NO,
OUR HOUSE !
242
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,287
MOMMY !
MOMMY !
243
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,889
WHY, WHY ?!
244
00:08:10,889 --> 00:08:12,624
WHY ?!
245
00:08:12,624 --> 00:08:14,360
( sobbing )
246
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:17,830
OH GOD !
OH GOD !
247
00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:19,565
I HAVE TO
TELL THE TRUTH !
248
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:20,866
MOM !!
249
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,167
( panting )
250
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:25,204
HELLO, KYLE.
GOING SOMEWHERE ?
251
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:27,806
I WAS...
252
00:08:27,806 --> 00:08:29,541
I WAS JUST GOING TO
GET A DRINK OF WATER.
253
00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:32,144
NO NEED-- I HAVE ONE
FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.
254
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:36,048
OH, OKAY, THANKS.
255
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,783
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
I CAN GET FOR YOU ?
256
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:40,819
NO, I'LL JUST...
BE GOING BACK TO BED NOW.
257
00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:41,687
YOU DO THAT.
258
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:42,988
GOOD NIGHT, KYLE.
259
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:49,928
JOSH MYERS T.P.'D OVER 600
HOUSES IN LESS THAN A YEAR.
260
00:08:49,928 --> 00:08:51,230
HE'S A REAL MONSTER.
261
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:52,965
I JUST NEED TO
TALK TO SOMEONE
262
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,567
WHO KNOWS HOW
TOILET-PAPERERS THINK.
263
00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:56,869
JUST REMEMBER:
264
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,170
HE'D TOILET PAPER YOU
IN A SECOND
265
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:01,206
IF HE HAD THE CHANCE.
266
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:02,941
HE'S THE LAST CELL
ON YOUR LEFT.
267
00:09:14,653 --> 00:09:16,822
HELLO, JOSH, MY NAME IS
OFFICER BARBRADY,
268
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,425
I'M WITH THE
SOUTH PARK POLICE.
269
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:21,160
( "Hannibal Lecter" voice )
THAT'S A TERRIBLE COLOGNE
YOU'RE WEARING, OFFICER,
270
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,762
YOU SHOULD TRY SOMETHING
MORE... CASUAL.
271
00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:27,232
I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HELP ME
SOLVE A TOILET PAPERING CASE.
272
00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:28,534
AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT ?
273
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,702
BECAUSE I'M SUCH A
CHARMING FELLA ?
274
00:09:30,702 --> 00:09:36,341
PLEASE, I NEED YOUR HELP,
WHAT WOULD YOU WANT IN RETURN ?
275
00:09:36,341 --> 00:09:37,643
DUE TO THE HARSH NATURE
OF MY CRIMES
276
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,378
THEY DON'T ALLOW ME TO HAVE
TOILET PAPER IN MY CELL.
277
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:41,547
YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW
BOTHERSOME THAT BECOMES.
278
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:45,884
YOU KNOW I CAN'T GIVE YOU
TOILET PAPER, JOSH.
279
00:09:45,884 --> 00:09:47,619
NO, BUT IT WAS WORTH
A TRY, WASN'T IT ?
280
00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:48,921
TELL ME SOMETHING,
OFFICER,
281
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,656
WHY IS IT THAT YOU POLICE
SUCH A SMALL TOWN ?
282
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,957
YOU MUST'VE HAD
LARGER INSPIRATIONS.
283
00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:54,560
WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE
BIG CITY DREAMS ?
284
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,728
WUL, THAT'S KINDA
PERSONAL.
285
00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:58,030
QUID PRO QUO, OFFICER.
286
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,331
TELL ME WHAT
I WANT TO KNOW,
287
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,801
AND I'LL HELP YOU CATCH WHOEVER
TOILET-PAPERED THAT HOUSE.
288
00:10:07,005 --> 00:10:08,740
LOOK, KID, I HAVE
VERY LITTLE TIME TO CATCH
289
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,042
WHOEVER TOILET-PAPERED
THAT HOUSE.
290
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,211
TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW.
291
00:10:12,644 --> 00:10:13,946
ARE THOSE THE
CRIME SCENE PHOTOS ?
292
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,247
LET ME SEE THEM.
293
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,452
YES, YES.
294
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:23,055
NOT BAD WORK,
NOT BAD AT ALL.
295
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:24,790
THESE TOILET-PAPERERS
ARE PROFESSIONALS--
296
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,091
AT LEAST,
ONE OF THEM IS.
297
00:10:26,091 --> 00:10:28,260
SO YOU THINK THERE WAS
MORE THAN ONE-- WHY ?
298
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,561
TELLMESOMETHING FIRST.
299
00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:30,863
WHEN YOU WENT TO THE ACADEMY,
YOU HAD SOMETHING TO PROVE--
300
00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:32,598
YOU WANTED TO
PROTECT AND SERVE,
301
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:33,899
BUT MOSTLY YOU JUST
WANTED TO PROTECT, YOURSELF.
302
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:36,502
WHO WERE YOU PROTECTING YOURSELF
FROM, OFFICER BARBRADY ?
303
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:37,803
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT !
304
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,104
MY UNCLE CHARLES USED TO
HIT ME WITH A BELT !
305
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:41,273
WAAAH !
306
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:42,574
THANK YOU.
307
00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:44,309
YOUR TOILET-PAPERERS
ARE MOST LIKELY MALES
308
00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:45,611
BETWEEN THE AGES OF EIGHT AND
TEN, AND PROBABLY VIRGINS.
309
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,346
PARENTS NOTICE THAT MUCH
TOILET PAPER MISSING
310
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:48,647
SO THEY WOULD'VE HAD TO
HAVE BOUGHT IT THEMSELVES.
311
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:49,948
FIND OUT WHERE THE TOILET PAPER
CAME FROM, OFFICER,
312
00:10:50,382 --> 00:10:52,117
AND YOU JUST MIGHT
CATCH YOUR MAN.
313
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,286
( bell rings )
314
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,322
STAN, KENNY-- CAN I TALK
TO YOU GUYS FOR A SECOND ?
315
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:59,491
I THINK WE HAVE THE COUNSELOR
AND THE PRINCIPAL FOOLED,
316
00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:01,226
BUT WE NEED TO
TALK ABOUT KYLE.
317
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,094
WHAT ABOUT HIM ?
318
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:03,395
COME ON, YOU KNOW !
319
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,130
I THINK SO TOO.
HE'S LOSING IT.
HE'S GONNA CRACK.
320
00:11:05,130 --> 00:11:06,431
KYLE CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT
321
00:11:06,431 --> 00:11:07,733
AND HE'S GONNA SING
LIKE A CANARY.
322
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,034
THEN WE'RE ALL GONNA TAKE
THE FALL FOR WHAT WE DID.
323
00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:10,335
HEY FELLAS !
324
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:12,070
BUTTERS.
325
00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:14,239
( sniffs )
326
00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:16,842
( clears throat )
327
00:11:21,613 --> 00:11:23,348
LOOK, YOU GUYS, ALL IT TAKES
IS FOR ONE OF US CRACK.
328
00:11:23,348 --> 00:11:24,650
AND WE ALL KNOW WHO
THE WEAKEST LINK IS.
329
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:25,951
SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO ?
330
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:28,554
WE HAVE NO CHOICE--
WE HAVE TO KILL KYLE.
331
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:30,289
DUDE, WE'RE NOT
KILLING KYLE !
332
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,156
YEAH !
333
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,891
WHY NOT ?!
334
00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:34,193
KYLE'S NOT GONNA SAY
ANYTHING, ALRIGHT ?
335
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,494
HE ALMOST SPILLED THE BEANS
IN THE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE.
336
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:36,795
HE CAN'T EVEN KEEP
THE STORY STRAIGHT !
337
00:11:36,795 --> 00:11:38,096
I'M TELLING YOU GUYS,
HE'S WEAK.
338
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:41,567
HE'S WEAK, AND HE'LL BE
THE END OF US ALL.
339
00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:44,603
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,
OFFICER BARBRADY ?
340
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:45,904
YES, THANKS FOR COMING,
MR.BELL.
341
00:11:45,904 --> 00:11:47,639
A HOUSE WAS T.P.'D
IN SOUTH PARK
342
00:11:47,639 --> 00:11:49,808
AND I NEED TO SEE IF YOU CAN
IDENTIFY THE TOILET PAPER
343
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:51,543
I RECOVERED
FROM THE SCENE.
344
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:54,580
I'M SORRY I HAVE TO
DO THIS.
345
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,182
( gagging )
346
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,483
OH MY GOD.
347
00:11:58,483 --> 00:12:00,219
IS THIS TOILET PAPER
FROM YOUR STORE ?
348
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:04,122
IT'S... DIFFICULT TO TELL,
IT'S SO DECAYED.
349
00:12:04,556 --> 00:12:05,424
I--
WAIT A MINUTE, YES.
350
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,159
YES, I RECOGNIZE THE
FLORAL PATTERN NOW.
351
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:09,328
POSITIVE I.D.
ON THE TOILET PAPER.
352
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,496
WHO WOULD DO THIS
TO TOILET PAPER, WHO ?
353
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:12,798
MR. BELL, DO YOU REMEMBER
ANYONE SUSPICIOUS
354
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,967
BUYING TOILET PAPER
IN THE LAST FEW DAYS ?
355
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,702
SUSPICIOUS LIKE HOW ?
356
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,870
WELL, LIKE SOMEONE
WHO WAS BLACK OR MEXICAN
357
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,172
OR MIDDLE EASTERN ?
358
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:21,907
NO, THE ONLY MEXICAN GUY
I RECALL
359
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,642
BOUGHT TOASTER TARTS
AND CHIPS.
360
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,678
AND WE DON'T ALLOW MIDDLE
EASTERN PEOPLE IN THE STORE.
361
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:27,546
OH MY GOD.
362
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,281
BLEAHHHH !
363
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:32,751
WHAT'S THIS
ALL ABOUT, CARTMAN ?
364
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,052
I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW
YOU'RE DOING, KYLE.
365
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:35,787
WHY DON'T WE GO OUT FOR
A LITTLE BOAT RIDE ?
366
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:37,089
A BOAT RIDE ?
367
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,824
I JUST THOUGHT WE SHOULD FIND
A PRIVATE PLACE TO TALK.
368
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:40,125
WELL, OKAY.
369
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:41,426
COULD YOU HELP ME PUT THIS
CEMENT BLOCK AND CHAIN
370
00:12:41,426 --> 00:12:42,728
INTO THE BOAT ?
371
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,403
OKAY, LET'S GO.
372
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,247
SO HOW ARE THINGS, KYLE ?
373
00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:03,548
TERRIBLE.
374
00:13:03,548 --> 00:13:04,850
EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES
I SEE THE HOUSE WE T.P.'D.
375
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:06,151
I SEE THE TEARS
OF OUR ART TEACHER
376
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:07,886
AND HEAR THE SCREAMS
OF HER DAUGHTERS.
377
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,055
AND YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU HAVE TO CONFESS.
378
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:11,790
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
379
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,959
PART OF ME FEELS LIKE
I HAVE TO END IT ALL NOW,
380
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,128
TELL PEOPLE WHAT HAPPENED.
381
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:19,598
Y'KNOW, I NEVER NOTICED HOW
BEAUTIFUL THIS POND WAS BEFORE.
382
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:21,333
SO CALM.
383
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,634
THE WORLD CAN
BE LIKE THAT--
384
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:24,369
SO CALM ON THE OUTSIDE.
385
00:13:24,369 --> 00:13:26,104
AS IF NOTHING BAD
EVER HAPPENS.
386
00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:28,273
( tap )
387
00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:29,574
OW !
388
00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:30,876
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING, CARTMAN ?
389
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,177
I'M KILLING YOU.
390
00:13:32,177 --> 00:13:33,045
BUT UNFORTUNATELY I COULD
ONLY AFFORD A WHIFFLE BAT,
391
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:34,346
SO IT'S GONNA TAKE A WHILE.
392
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:35,647
CARTMAN !
393
00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:36,948
DON'T FIGHT IT, KYLE,
IT WILL ONLY TAKE LONGER.
394
00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:39,985
JUST SLIP INTO
SWEET UNCONSCIOUSNESS.
395
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,286
YOU WANNA KILL ME ?
FINE !
396
00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:42,587
I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS
ANYMORE !
397
00:13:42,587 --> 00:13:46,058
GO AHEAD !
DO IT !
398
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,167
WON'T BE LONG NOW, KYLE.
399
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:00,806
JOSH, I NEED MORE HELP.
400
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:03,408
THE ANSWER'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF
YOU, BUT YOU CAN'T SEE IT.
401
00:14:03,408 --> 00:14:04,710
HOW DO YOU MEAN ?
402
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:07,312
TELL ME, THE TOILET PAPER,
WAS IT QUILTED ?
403
00:14:07,312 --> 00:14:08,613
YES.
404
00:14:08,613 --> 00:14:09,481
SINGLE SHEET ?
405
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:11,650
NO, TWO-PLY.
406
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,385
WHAT ? WHAT DOES THAT
TELL YOU ?
407
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:16,421
WHY DOES ONE TOILET PAPER
A HOUSE, OFFICER ?
408
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:18,590
TO GET REVENGE.
409
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,759
NO, THAT IS
INCIDENTAL.
410
00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:22,494
YOUR TOILET-PAPERERS
WANTED TO TRANSFORM
411
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:23,795
THE ART TEACHER'S HOUSE,
412
00:14:23,795 --> 00:14:25,530
THUS TRANSFORMING HER
ENTIRE OCCUPATION.
413
00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:26,832
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
414
00:14:26,832 --> 00:14:28,133
YOUR UNCLE WHO HIT YOU
WITH A BELT--
415
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,434
WAS HE A LARGE MAN ?
416
00:14:29,434 --> 00:14:30,736
I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THIS, KID.
417
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,471
DID HE STINK LIKE BEER WHEN
HE CAME HOME FROM WORK,
418
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:35,073
( southern accent )
ALL TIRED FROM PLAYIN'
DOWN AT THE POOL HOUSE ?
419
00:14:35,073 --> 00:14:36,375
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT !
420
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,676
MY DAD DRESSED ME UP LIKE A
LITTLE GIRL ON POKER NIGHTS
421
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:40,278
AND MADE ME SIT ON
ALL MY UNCLES LAPS !
422
00:14:40,278 --> 00:14:42,013
( sobs )
423
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:44,616
WHOA.
424
00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:46,785
AH, OH--
THANK YOU.
425
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,086
YOUR TOILET-PAPERERS
ARE MOST LIKELY STUDENTS
426
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,388
IN THE ART TEACHERS CLASS,
427
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,123
STUDENTS WHO AREN'T
VERY GOOD AT ART.
428
00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:54,159
OF COURSE !
ONE OF HER STUDENTS !
429
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:55,460
FLY ALONG NOW,
OFFICER BARBRADY,
430
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:56,328
YOU'VE GOT SOME
ARRESTS TO MAKE.
431
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,930
FLY FLY FLY...
FLY FLY FLY.
432
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:02,834
JOSH, WERE YOU DOING
THE SILLY VOICE
433
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:04,569
FOR THE POLICEMAN AGAIN ?
434
00:15:04,569 --> 00:15:05,871
( normal voice )
NO, SIR.
435
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:14,546
CARTMAN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING ?
436
00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:15,847
I'M GETTING RID OF
OUR PROBLEM !
437
00:15:15,847 --> 00:15:17,149
KYLE WILL BE DEAD
IN A MATTER OF HOURS.
438
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:20,185
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL
KYLE, DUDE,
439
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,354
THE POLICE MADE AN ARREST,
AND THE PERSON CONFESSED !
440
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,089
THEY DID ?
THEY DID ?
441
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,390
THEY SAY THEY'VE GOT
THE GUY THAT DID IT
442
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:26,691
DOWN AT THE
POLICE STATION !
443
00:15:26,691 --> 00:15:27,993
WHO CONFESSED ?
444
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:28,860
THAT DOESN'T
MAKE ANY SENSE !
445
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:30,162
BUT CAN I STILL
KILL KYLE ?
446
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:37,302
HELLO BOYS,
HOW ARE YOU ?
447
00:15:37,302 --> 00:15:38,603
WE HEARD THAT YOU
HAVE THE PERSON
448
00:15:38,603 --> 00:15:40,772
WHO T.P.'D THE ART TEACHER'S
HOUSE-- IS THAT TRUE ?
449
00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:42,073
IT SURE IS !
450
00:15:42,073 --> 00:15:44,676
UH, COULD WE SEE THEM--
HIM, HER ?
451
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,845
RIGHT OVER HERE.
452
00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:49,014
YEAH, WE INTERROGATED THE
SUSPECT FOR OVER 40 HOURS,
453
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,749
THEN HE FINALLY CRACKED.
454
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,484
HEY FELLAS !
455
00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:53,785
BUTTERS ?
456
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,086
YUP, I'M IN JAIL.
457
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,255
YOU CONFESSED ?
458
00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:59,424
UH-HUH, THEY SAID I T.P.'D
THE ART TEACHER'S HOUSE.
459
00:15:59,424 --> 00:16:00,725
I DON'T SEEM TO REMEMBER IT,
460
00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:02,461
BUT THEY'RE PRETTY SURE
IT WAS ME.
461
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:04,629
I JUST CAN'T GET MY BEHAVIOR
UNDER CONTROL !
462
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:07,232
HIS PARENTS ARE ON
THEIR WAY DOWN NOW.
463
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:09,835
YEAH AND BOY ARE THEY
GONNA LET ME HAVE IT !
464
00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:11,570
JUST WAIT 'TIL MY FATHER
GETS HERE !
465
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,738
YOU GUYS, WE CAN'T
LET HIM DO THIS.
466
00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:14,606
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT ?
467
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:15,907
THIS IS A GIFT
FROM GOD !
468
00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:17,209
AN EARLY EASTER PRESENT
ALL WRAPPED UP
469
00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:18,944
WITH A PRETTY RIBBON FROM
JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF !
470
00:16:19,377 --> 00:16:21,546
I'M JUST A LITTLE ASSHOLE
IS WHAT I AM.
471
00:16:21,546 --> 00:16:22,848
WHEN GOD MADE ME,
472
00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,149
HE MUST A NOT BEEN PAYIN'
VERY CLOSE ATTENTION
473
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,318
'CAUSE I TURNED OUT WRONG,
JUST PLAIN WRONG !
474
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,487
OFFICER BARBRADY, BUTTERS
DIDN'T T.P. THAT HOUSE.
475
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,788
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT ?
476
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:31,523
BECAUSE IT WAS--
WHIFFLE BALL ANYONE ?
477
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:34,125
ANYONE CARE FOR A NICE GAME
OF WHIFFLE BALL ?
478
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:35,861
Y'KNOW, IT'S NOT MY PARENTS
I'M WORRIED ABOUT,
479
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:37,162
IT'S MY GIRLFRIEND, CARRIE.
480
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:38,463
SHE LIVES IN MICHIGAN,
481
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:40,198
BUT WHEN SHE FINDS OUT
ABOUT THIS,
482
00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:41,933
WOO SMOKIES, IS SHE
GONNA BE SORE !
483
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:43,668
SHE MIGHT EVEN
BREAK UP WITH ME.
484
00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:44,970
AND IT WOULD SERVE ME
RIGHT, TOO !
485
00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:46,705
ALRIGHT BOYS,
VISITING TIME IS OVER.
486
00:16:47,138 --> 00:16:48,874
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
487
00:16:51,476 --> 00:16:54,079
YOU SEE GUYS, IT ALL
WORKED ITSELF OUT !
488
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,380
TA DAO !
TA DAO !
489
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:56,248
HOW DO LIKE ME NOW ?
490
00:16:56,681 --> 00:16:57,983
FEEL A LITTLE
SILLY NOW, KYLE ?
491
00:16:57,983 --> 00:16:59,718
TA DAO !
HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW !
492
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:01,019
I STILL FEEL BAD,
CARTMAN !
493
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,320
WHAT ?
494
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,622
HOW-- HOW CAN YOU
FEEL BAD ?
495
00:17:04,055 --> 00:17:05,790
SOMEBODY ELSE IS GONNA
PAY FOR OUR CRIME !
496
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,959
YEAH, THAT MAKES IT
EVEN WORSE.
497
00:17:08,393 --> 00:17:11,863
BU-- EH--
498
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:13,164
KYLE, YOU DON'T
SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.
499
00:17:13,164 --> 00:17:14,900
WE'RE NOT GONNA GET
PUNISHED FOR THIS, EVER !
500
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:17,068
I KNOW.
501
00:17:17,068 --> 00:17:20,539
SO-- SO HOW CAN YOU
FEEL BAD ?
502
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,406
HE FEELS GUILTY FOR DOING IT
503
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,442
AND FOR LETTING SOMEONE
ELSE PAY FOR IT.
504
00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:25,744
BUT HE'S NOT GONNA
GET IN TROUBLE.
505
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,479
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU
GET IN TROUBLE OR NOT,
506
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:28,780
YOU CAN STILL FEEL BAD.
507
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:30,515
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT, KYLE,
MAYBE WE SHOULD CONFESS.
508
00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:31,816
YEAH, MAYBE SO.
509
00:17:31,816 --> 00:17:33,985
WHA-- DAH---
YOU GUYS--
510
00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:35,720
THERE'S NOTHING
TO FEEL BAD ABOUT,
511
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,022
WE'RE OFF SCOT-FREE !
512
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:38,757
WE FEEL BAD FOR
OTHERPEOPLE.
513
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:41,793
FOR OTH--
514
00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:46,565
AHH, OW.
515
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:49,601
IS IT THAT YOU THINK YOU MIGHT
GET IN TROUBLE LATER ?
516
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:51,336
TOMORROW IN SCHOOL, WE'LL ALL
TELL THE ART TEACHER IT WAS US
517
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:52,637
AND LET HER
DECIDE WHAT TO DO.
518
00:17:52,637 --> 00:17:54,372
AND CARTMAN, IF YOU HAVE ANY
THREAD OF A CONSCIENCE AT ALL,
519
00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:56,107
YOU'LL DO THE SAME.
520
00:17:56,107 --> 00:17:58,276
EH-- EH, EH--
521
00:17:58,276 --> 00:18:00,879
FREAKIN' WEIRDOS, MAN.
522
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:03,481
WELL, WELL, WELL, I HAD TO
SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT !
523
00:18:03,915 --> 00:18:04,783
HI, DAD.
524
00:18:05,216 --> 00:18:06,518
DON'T YOU "HI DAD" ME !
525
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:10,422
LOOK AT YOU, STANDING BEHIND
PRISON BARS, AGAIN !
526
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,723
YEAH.
527
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,458
WHAT FIBS HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING
THIS POLICEMAN, BUTTERS ?
528
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:15,627
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU DIDN'T
TOILET PAPER THAT HOUSE !
529
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:16,928
HUH ?
530
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:18,663
BUTTERS WAS WITH US
ALL NIGHT, OFFICER BARBRADY.
531
00:18:18,663 --> 00:18:19,965
BUTTERS, WHAT HAVE WE
TOLD YOU ABOUT
532
00:18:20,398 --> 00:18:22,133
CONFESSING TO CRIMES
YOU DIDN'T COMMIT ?
533
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:23,001
WE HAVE HAD IT, MISTER !
534
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,736
WELL, HE KEPT
ACCUSING ME FOR HOURS
535
00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:26,905
AND THEN HE SHOT ME UP
WITH SODIUM PENTATHOL.
536
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:28,206
AND THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE ?
537
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,941
LOOKS LIKE I MADE
A MISTAKE.
538
00:18:29,941 --> 00:18:31,676
I GUESS I BETTER
LET YOU OUT NOW.
539
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,713
JUST WAIT TIL WE GET YOU HOME,
YOU LITTLE FIBBER !
540
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,448
OFFICER, CAN I STAY
IN JAIL, PLEASE ?
541
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,484
COME YOU GUYS, HURRY !
542
00:18:39,484 --> 00:18:41,219
WHAT IS IT, CARTMAN ?
543
00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:43,388
IT'S OVER THIS WAY,
COME ON !
544
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,063
SO HOW ARE THINGS, GUYS ?
545
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:53,365
CARTMAN, WE'RE CONFESSING
TOMORROW AT SCHOOL,
546
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:54,666
AND THAT'S FINAL.
547
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:55,967
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T
LET THAT HAPPEN.
548
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:57,268
YOU CAN'T KILL ALL THREE
OF US, CARTMAN.
549
00:18:57,702 --> 00:18:59,437
CAN'T I ?
550
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:07,679
EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE !
551
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:09,414
I HAVE SOMEONE WITH ME
WHO CAN TELL US ALL
552
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:12,450
WHO TOILET-PAPERED
THE ART TEACHER'S HOUSE.
553
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:15,920
JOSH INSISTED HE BE ABLE
TO TELL YOU THE NAMES
554
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,523
OF THE TOILET-PAPERERS
IN PERSON.
555
00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:20,258
UH, THAT'S NICE,
OFFICER BARBRADY,
556
00:19:20,258 --> 00:19:21,559
BUT WE ACTUALLY
DON'T NEED TO KNOW--
557
00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:22,861
HOLD IT !
558
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:24,596
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA, MR.MACKEY,
MRS. STREIBEL.
559
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,765
WE HAVE SOMETHING
WE NEED TO TELL YOU.
560
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:29,367
ALRIGHT, WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP
BARGING INTO MY OFFICE PLEASE ?
561
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,102
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA,
562
00:19:31,102 --> 00:19:31,970
WAS YOUR MOTHER ABUSIVE ?
563
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,271
DID SHE SPANK YOUR THIGHS
WITH COLD CUTS
564
00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:35,006
AND STICK UMBRELLAS
UP YOUR ASS ?
565
00:19:35,006 --> 00:19:36,307
GET HIM OUT OF HERE !
566
00:19:36,307 --> 00:19:38,910
UH, POLICEMAN BROWN, WILL YOU
TAKE JOSH OUTSIDE, PLEASE ?
567
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:40,645
OOH, POLICEMAN BROWN,
568
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:42,814
NEVER QUITE MADE OFFICER,
WHY IS THAT, POLICEMAN BROWN ?
569
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:44,115
WE HAVE TO CONFESS THAT
WE WERE THE ONES--
570
00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:45,417
IT'S TOO LATE, BOYS, M'KAY.
571
00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:47,585
WE ALREADY KNOW
EVERYTHING.
572
00:19:47,585 --> 00:19:49,754
YOU DO ? HOW ?
573
00:19:49,754 --> 00:19:52,791
HI GUYS.
574
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,092
CARTMAN ?!
575
00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:56,261
I TOLD THEM EVERYTHING,
YOU GUYS, IT'S OVER.
576
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,430
LUCKILY FOR US, ONE OF YOU
HAD ENOUGH OF A CONSCIENCE
577
00:19:58,430 --> 00:19:59,731
TO COME FORWARD.
578
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:01,032
MY CONSCIOUSNESS JUST
CAUGHT UP WITH ME.
579
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:02,333
THAT'S NOT FAIR !
580
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,069
YOU ALL GET TWO WEEKS
OF DETENTION,
581
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,671
EXCEPT FOR ERIC, WHO GETS
ONE WEEK FOR BEING BRAVE.
582
00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:07,972
BUT HE'S LYING !
583
00:20:07,972 --> 00:20:09,274
HE'S DOESN'T HAVE
A CONSCIENCE !
584
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,443
WELL, I GUESS MY
WORK HERE IS DONE.
585
00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:14,913
AFTER ALL THIS, I'M GONNA
NEED A LONG VACATION.
586
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:16,648
THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE MY STORY !
587
00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:18,383
MY COMING TO TERMS WITH
A GUILTY CONSCIENCE !
588
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,684
THIS ISN'T FAIR !
589
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,853
OKAY, JOSH, TIME TO GO
BACK TO THE--
590
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:24,022
OH, NO !
591
00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:25,757
HE WAS TOO FAST
FOR ME.
592
00:20:25,757 --> 00:20:27,492
HE RAN OUT THE DOOR.
593
00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:29,227
COULDN'T YOU HAVE
GONE AFTER HIM ?
594
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:32,697
WELL, I'M COVERED IN
TOILET PAPER, I'D LOOK SILLY.
595
00:20:32,697 --> 00:20:34,432
( bell rings )
596
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,035
WELCOME TO DETENTION.
597
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,770
YOU WILL BE HERE
UNTIL 5:00
598
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:41,372
SO MAKE GOOD STUDY USE
OF YOUR TIME, M'KAY.
599
00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,108
OOF, TWO WEEKS OF THIS.
600
00:20:43,541 --> 00:20:45,276
YEAH, BUT I HAVE TO SAY
I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.
601
00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:46,578
I KNOW WHAT
YOU MEAN, KYLE.
602
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,879
I REALIZE NOW
THAT EVEN THOUGH
603
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,614
YOU MIGHT NOT GET CAUGHT
DOING SOMETHING BAD
604
00:20:49,614 --> 00:20:51,349
YOU CAN STILL
GET CAUGHT LATER.
605
00:20:51,349 --> 00:20:52,650
OH, JESUS.
606
00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:54,385
I DIDN'T FEEL BAD BEFORE,
BUT NOW I FEEL JUST TERRIBLE.
607
00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:56,554
YOU JUST FEEL BAD FOR YOURSELF
THAT YOU'RE IN DETENTION !
608
00:20:56,554 --> 00:20:57,856
RIGHT.
609
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,157
I GUESS
I LEARNED THAT--
610
00:20:59,157 --> 00:21:00,892
OH, STOP IT, CARTMAN,
YOU DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING !
611
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:03,495
NOT A GOD DAMN THING !
612
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,663
HMM.
613
00:21:05,663 --> 00:21:07,832
( phone rings )
614
00:21:07,832 --> 00:21:10,001
POLICE STATION !
615
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:11,736
Hello,
Officer Barbrady.
616
00:21:11,736 --> 00:21:12,604
JOSH ?
617
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,905
JOSH, WHERE ARE YOU ?
618
00:21:13,905 --> 00:21:15,206
I'M AFRAID THAT
GIVING AWAY MY LOCATION
619
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:16,941
MIGHT BE HARMFUL
TO MY FREEDOM, OFFICER.
620
00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:18,243
I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU
621
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:19,978
FOR HELPING ME GET OUT OF
THAT DINGY CELL.
622
00:21:19,978 --> 00:21:21,713
JOSH, YOU HAVE TO GO BACK
TO JUVENILE HALL.
623
00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:23,882
YOU ONLY HAVE
A THREE-WEEK SENTENCE !
624
00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:25,183
SORRY, OFFICER, GOTTA RUN.
625
00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:26,050
THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO DO
626
00:21:26,484 --> 00:21:29,521
FOR QUITE SOME TIME, CIAO.
627
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,534
Captioning made possible by
COMEDY CENTRAL
628
00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:46,004
Captioned by
Soundwriters™
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