Original subtitles

Hey, just FYI, we don't have to stay here super long.

Well, let's stay at least until the toasts.

That's true. That's true. You gotta see them toasts, baby.

It's when all the good shit goes down.

You hear embarrassing stories about people's childhoods.

- Oh, yeah. - Nicknames they don't want anyone to know.

Oh, we're gonna find out so many nicknames.

But, no, seriously, anytime you want to take off, just let me know.

Are you kidding me? I love weddings.

'Cause people get drunk

and they get into fights and they hook up and they dance, it's amazing.

- Yeah. Table eight. - All right.

You know it's gonna be good.

What about you, you like weddings?

Uh, yeah. I'm a sucker for any kind of public display of affection.

- So, weddings are my Disneyland. Yeah. - Totally.

All right. Who do you know? You recognize anybody?

Hmm, who do I know?

Me and the bride were friends in college,

but her group of friends weren't really my main crew.

- Mm-hmm. - So, we didn't keep in touch that much.

Yeah, I'm not really friends with anyone from college, except for this guy Aaron.

I told you about him. His mom went to prom with the Unabomber.

What?

His mom went to prom with the Unabomber.

Oh, yes. I remember you telling me that.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You want to get a drink?

Yeah, uh, you want anything?

Yeah, could I get a Jägermeister?

Oh, nice. Nice.

- What's up? - Hey.

What can I get you, sir?

Yeah. Could I get a water and another water? Thanks.

- Gus! Hi! - Hey!

- Hello, there. - How are you?

- Good, how are you? - Good, great. Yeah.

- Good. That's awesome. - Yeah.

- Yeah, it's good to see ya. Yeah. - Yeah, you too.

Um...

Yeah, I thought I might see you here.

- I know, the same. Yeah. - Yeah.

I thought I might see me here, too.

Um, so can you believe this, that Leah's getting married?

- It's so crazy, right? - Oh, I know.

I know, it seems just like yesterday

she was peeing in a bush, drunk, outside our dorm.

I actually forgot about that.

- Probably with good reason. - Yeah. It's weird.

So, uh, anybody else here from the old college crew?

Oh, yeah. Um, Megan and Katie and you and me.

- So... - That's it?

Yeah. Yeah, we're a dying breed.

- I'll say. Yeah. - So... Yeah.

It's a real shame.

Yeah. Do you see Leah much in LA or...

No. Not really.

Yeah, I think she only invited me

so it wouldn't be uncomfortable if we bumped in each other at a Panera.

- Right. Right. - Yeah.

- Here you go. - Yeah.

Thank you. Sarah, do you want anything?

- Can I get a glass of red wine, please? - Yeah.

Thank you.

Um, so, two waters, are you pretty thirsty or...

Oh. Yeah, no, this is for me and my girlfriend Mickey.

She's here. Yeah.

- Oh, cool. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. Cool.

- That's great. - Are you here with anybody?

No, I'm just flying solo.

- That's cool. Very cool. Yeah. - So, yeah. Very cool.

- Uh, well, there's that. - Um... There's that.

- So, uh... - Yeah.

- So good to see you. - So good to see you, too.

- I'm glad we got to see each other. - Yeah, yeah.

Let's catch up later. I want to hear all about what's going in Gus world.

- I want to meet Mickey. - Okay.

- That would be fun. - Yeah.

I'd love to know what's in Sarah world. All right.

- Oh. Yikes, too many liquids. - Too many liquids, yeah.

- But it was really nice seeing you. - Yeah. You too.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Here's your water. Yeah. - Oh, thank you.

Who's that you were talking to?

Oh, that was, um, Sarah. We actually used to go out.

- Mm-hmm. I picked up on that vibe. - There was no vibe.

- There was electricity between you two. - You don't know what you're talking about.

No, no. Ex-electricity.

- Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

Were you two serious?

Uh... no. I mean, serious in a college way, but, you know...

I liked M. Night Shyamalan in college, so, what do I know?

Yeah.

You know what? I think we're on the move.

- So maybe we should skedaddle. - All right.

♪ I've got sunshine ♪

♪ On a cloudy day ♪

♪ When it's cold outside ♪

♪ I've got the month of May ♪

♪ I guess you'd say ♪

♪ What can make me feel this way? ♪

Nice out here.

What's that?

I mean, I wouldn't want my wedding like this.

I'd want a lot more people. I want it to feel like a big party, but it's nice.

- What would you do? Mm-hmm. - For my wedding? I don't know.

- Haven't really thought about it. - Mm-hmm.

I've thought about it.

I just don't have any strong feelings, one way or the other.

- But, um, yeah, I like big weddings. - Yeah.

- Gus? Oh, wow. Little Gussy! - Hey. Hi, Katie.

- Hey. Gus, this is Matt, my husband. - Good to see you.

Matt, this is Gus. We went to college together.

- What's up? - Hey.

- Oh. Hi. I'm Katie. - Oh, hi.

Oh, where are my manners? Katie, this is Mickey.

Mickey, Katie. Matt and Sarah.

It's so nice to meet you, Mickey. I love your dress. It's gorgeous.

Oh, thank you. I love your earrings.

Oh, thank you. I thought they were a little too much, so I appreciate that.

Pretty earrings, pretty dress. All right.

- That was cute. Aw... - Yeah, that was nice.

So, what'd you think of the ceremony?

- Beautiful. - Yeah, lovely.

You think it's worth $110,000? Because that's what this cost.

Oh, my God. Wow. That's a lot of money.

- Yeah. - Yeah, enjoy.

I paid $40,000 to rent this hotel.

- Shit. - Yeah.

And chairs. Oh, you want chairs, too? Oh, on your wedding?

Okay. $3,000 for the chairs.

- Wow. This really adds up. - Steep.

Yeah. The band, $8,000.

And the bar, that's where you really get fucked in the ass.

They want to close at 11. I said not on my time. Ten o'clock.

'Cause they have all the friends drinking, that's at my expense, okay.

And the chicken, eat the fucking chicken to the bone.

I'll make sure you eat every piece of fucking...

- No doggy bags, okay? - We'll eat that chicken.

- You eat that chicken. - Okay.

You know why I'm paying for all this?

Because the bride's parents are fucking broke. Fucking broke.

- I think I just met my new best friend. - He's awesome.

Where is that chicken, by the way? I'm so hungry.

- Yeah, me too. I'm starvin', Marvin. - Oh, look, there's Sarah.

- Oh, look at that. - Mm-hmm. Should we go talk to her?

Nah, I think we're good. We don't need to.

She's standing all by herself.

You guys already met and stuff, so...

That seems rude, leaving her alone over there.

- Uh, sure. Yeah, I don't care. Why not? - Yeah.

- Sarah, hi. Hi. - Hello.

- Let's do it. Okay, awesome. - Okay, cool.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hello. How's it going? - Good, how are you?

Good, we're good.

- What a beautiful wedding, right? - I know.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Just watching Clay and Leah, they just look so in love.

- It was just beautiful. It was so nice. - Special. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what'd be nice? If we were eating right now.

- I'm so hungry. - Yes.

We have to wait for them to take 300 photos underneath a tree or something.

Oh, right. Totally. I know, couldn't they have found that tree earlier today?

Yeah.

So when did you get into town, Sarah?

- Uh, yesterday morning. Yeah. - Okay.

- Where do you live? - Denver. Yeah.

- Oh, nice. - Yeah, yeah.

I mean, if you love beautiful trees and beautiful mountains,

there are definitely worse places to live.

- Yeah. - Yeah. So, how are you liking LA?

Oh, you know, it's very crazy to be back because I feel like it's all so different.

And honestly, I did not move away that long ago. Right?

- Oh, you used to live here? - Yeah.

- Yeah. Yes, Sarah used to live here. - Oh, got it, yeah.

I can't remember exactly how long ago, but...

When did we have that apartment together?

- Uh, yeah, when was that? Six years ago? - Yeah.

- Something like that. Yeah. - Yeah. That makes sense.

So, when did you get into town?

Yesterday morning. You said that.

You know what, I almost forgot too, so...

- Yeah, now we know. - Um, yeah.

And elephant in the room, Gus and I used to date,

but, honestly, who cares?

I'm so happy for you, Gus.

It's so nice to see you guys together. It truly warms my heart.

- Thank you. So nice. - That's very sweet of you to say.

Oh, it looks like the food is coming out, Mickey.

Looks like those photos are over, finally.

- See you guys there. Bon appétit. - Okay. All right.

- Was she fucking with us? - No.

I mean, like, a little.

Uh, I don't think so.

I don't care, it just seemed like there was a lot going on there.

- Yeah, you're probably right there. - Yeah.

- You're not mad at her, right? - No.

Why didn't you tell me you lived together?

You know, I thought I did. We were at that dinner party, remember?

Everybody was talking about people they lived with.

I'm pretty sure I said I lived with this girl Sarah.

- I don't know. - Maybe I didn't.

I'm sorry, I get a little awkward around exes,

- but you want to go? - Yeah.

Just want to have fun tonight.

I'm not the one who's not having fun.

No, I know. But it's all done with, it's taken care of.

We don't have to see her for the rest of the night.

Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome,

for the very first time, Clay and Leah Reddy.

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Uh-huh! ♪

♪ What I like about you ♪

♪ You hold me tight ♪

♪ Tell me I'm the only one Wanna come over tonight? ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Keep on whispering in my ear ♪

♪ Tell me all the things That I wanna hear ♪

- ♪ 'Cause it's true ♪ - ♪ What I like ♪

- ♪ It's what I like about you ♪ - ♪ What I like ♪

All right, a toast.

Um, to the University of South Dakota.

Uh, the best state school that our parents could afford.

Go, Coyotes!

- Cheers. - That's very good. Cheers.

Oh, yeah, please, thank you. So, did you notice that, like...

- So, have you two met the groom yet? - No. Nope.

We met him at the rehearsal dinner. Really sweet guy.

Aw, that's nice.

- Did you hear, uh, how he proposed? - No, no.

Oh, he took her to the park where they had their first date.

Aw.

- Very neat. - That is very thoughtful. Very sweet.

It tops Jim's proposal, who decided to propose on the phone.

- Okay. - Jim!

All right, come on.

I was at my grandma's funeral, and I saw how upset my grandpa was.

It got me thinking about who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

- Mm-hmm. - So, you know...

- I know. It was sweet. - It was sweet.

- Very sweet. - Anyways...

I'm not big on the whole elaborate proposal thing anyways.

No, those can be so cheesy.

Thank you. Who were they talking about last night?

This one guy, he flies his parents to LA, and the girl's parents,

and proposed at the observatory or some ridiculous place like that.

I don't remember.

Yes, you do. And when she said yes, a violinist popped out

and started playing "Maybe I'm Amazed." Remember?

I think you're confused.

Shit. Okay, never mind.

- Wait. Was that you? - Yeah.

- I'm sorry. - No, it's okay.

- No, I shouldn't have... - No.

Everybody said it was a really nice proposal, so...

No, it was bad. The weather was bad, the violin player was bad.

It was stupid. It was dumb. It was a really stupid thing.

Was that to her?

- Yes. Yes. - So, you were engaged?

Very briefly.

Um, hi, everybody.

Um, I would like to make a toast, if that's all right.

Um, I'm Sarah, Sarah Miller.

I'm one of Leah's friends from college.

Speaking of which,

this is the college table representing right here.

So... Go, Coyotes. Right?

Whoo!

Um, I just want to say, I still remember

when Leah first called me to tell me about this Clay fella.

And she said, "I just went out on a date with this guy Clay,

and I think he might be the one."

And I said, "Leah, listen to me very closely.

Does he have a friend?

And does he have a thing for redheads?

Um, in all seriousness, it's really rare that someone finds their soul mate,

and Clay and Leah, you guys have found each other and you guys are soul mates.

Um... Yeah, okay. So, to Clay and Leah.

Cheers.

♪ Shall I stay? ♪

♪ Would it be a sin? ♪

♪ If I can't help... ♪

Good band.

It's cool 'cause they can rock out, but they can also play the soft stuff.

It's nice. It's very pretty.

Hey, I'm sorry about that engagement stuff.

Mickey, really, I... I didn't mean it to catch you off guard or anything.

I'm just trying to put this time line together in my head.

So, you guys dated in college and then you moved to LA together?

- Right. - And then you got engaged?

Yeah, but it was only for, like, a very short amount of time.

It was, like, a month and then we broke it off, so...

Mm-hmm. So when I asked you if things ever got serious, and you said no...

I meant it. No, seriously. 'Cause it never felt serious.

It always felt like we were two kids pretending to get engaged.

You can downplay it now,

but the fact that you hid it from me means that it means something to you.

Oh, because you've told me every single thing

about what's gone on between you and your exes?

There's nothing hidden or secret?

I mean, I don't...

Just because somebody keeps something secret

doesn't mean it's this big, bad thing I don't want to tell you about, okay?

I mean, we were bad together.

And she had this, like, wounded soul type of thing going on.

Oh, so, maybe that's your thing. I guess I am your type.

I don't think you're a wounded soul.

Okay, she was more of this people pleaser.

Oh, so, now she sounds like you.

Mickey, what do you want me to say? Okay. She sucked. She was awful.

She would kiss the whole world's ass and then come home and be mean to me.

Okay? You're not like that.

It's what I love about you. You're the opposite of her in every way.

She's touchy and feely. I would touch her elbow, and she would have this orgasm.

Why would you tell me that?

So you knew what a weirdo she was.

All right, should we just leave?

We don't have to run out right away. We could stick around.

I think I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette.

- Okay, you want me to come? - No, I'm good.

Fuck.

- Hey, there. Hi. - Oh, hi.

- I just came up to get some fresh air... - I'm not stalking you, I swear.

- May I? Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I quit, like, three years ago, but I slip up every few weeks.

Well, you're doing better than me.

- I never managed to quit. - Oh.

Yeah. I mean, I can't control what comes up in my news feed,

but I remember seeing a picture of you guys together for the first time

and being like, "Wow. She's really pretty. I kind of hate her."

Okay.

Also, you got him dressing really well.

Like, congrats on that, because his style has gone way up.

Thank you for noticing.

Mmm.

But what about you?

Are you seeing somebody now? What's going on?

Oh, no. Flying solo.

Um...

Actually, uh, don't get sad when you hear this,

'cause people sometimes get sad when they hear this,

but I've been divorced for a year, so...

- I'm sorry. - No, no, no. It was for the best.

Uh, and, you know, I'm really happy for you and Gus.

'Cause I can tell you guys make each other laugh.

Like, he doesn't fake laugh around you. And I know his fake laugh, so...

You know, I think I'm gonna go get another drink if you want one?

- Oh, I don't drink. - Oh, gotcha.

Yeah, I don't really drink, either. Just weddings, I kind of do, so...

Gotta numb the pain of wearing heels.

♪ I want you to want me... ♪

- Feeling better? - She wants to fuck you.

No. She doesn't.

I'm a very intuitive person. She wants to fuck you.

Okay, I think you're just overestimating my appeal here a bit.

Mmm. She's heartbroken and lonely. She just got divorced.

She wants to go back to the last thing that made her feel good. It's obvious.

Did you know she was divorced?

- I knew she was divorced, yeah. - Of course you did.

Uh-oh. Gus.

- I hear some Jamiroquai. - Oh.

Think we should go to a Jamiroquai concert sometime?

Very funny. Okay.

One time, Gus surprised me with a Jamiroquai concert.

Oh, I bet they were surprised anyone was in the audience.

Ah! Y'all can get your little jabs in at Jamiroquai,

but you know that show was awesome.

- I'll admit it was pretty fun. - Yeah.

♪ 'Cause we can't always take But never give ♪

♪ And now that things are changing For the worse... ♪

- Okay. I'm gonna leave you two to it. - No, no, no. Keep dancing with us.

- No, enjoy your Jamiroquai together. - No, no. Stay.

♪ Is all we have to give these ♪

♪ Futures made of virtual insanity now ♪

♪ Always seem to be governed By this love we have ♪

♪ For useless twisting Of our new technology ♪

♪ Oh, now there is no sound For we all live underground ♪

♪ And I'm thinking what a mess we're in ♪

♪ Virtual insanity Is what we're living in ♪

- After you. - Oh, thank you.

All right, Gus. I will now return you to your beautiful girlfriend.

- Aw. - And I'm gonna get a drink.

Told you she wanted to fuck you.

- Thank you. Cheers. - Thank you. Cheers.

♪ We are family ♪

♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ Get up everybody and sing ♪

♪ We are family ♪

Thank you.

♪ I got all my sisters with me ♪

♪ We are family ♪

♪ Get up everybody and sing ♪

- ♪ Everyone can see we're together ♪ - Ahh!

Oh, sorry. I just wanted to request, um, uh, "Eternal Flame" by Bangles.

- Are you a singer? Or... - Yes.

- Okay, thank you. - You sure?

Hi, you guys. So, it's me, Sarah, again.

I just wanted to dedicate this next song

to our favorite lovebirds, Leah and Clay.

May the eternal flame of your love burn eternally.

♪ Close your eyes Give me your hand, darlin' ♪

♪ Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? ♪

♪ Do you feel the same? ♪

♪ Am I only dreaming? ♪

♪ Or is this burning, burnin' ♪

♪ An eternal flame? ♪

It's the verse.

♪ The hand... ♪

Okay, can you guys... I'm sorry. Sorry.

- You want to help me with this? Okay. - Uh... Yeah, sure.

I'll meet you in the lobby in five minutes.

Do you know what stop means? Stop. Stop playing. Please stop playing.

- Can you stop... Thank you. - Hey.

That was great.

Do you guys know, um... Let's try one that might be easier.

- Do you guys know "Uptown Funk"? - We don't want to play that right now.

Let's take five.

I just feel like uptown's gonna fuck you up.

- Okay, whoa! - Okay.

- I'm not gonna throw it at them. - Okay, just seemed like you did.

- Hey. - Hey.

- You ready? Okay. Um... - Yep.

Real quick, first, um, we gotta give Sarah a ride back to her hotel.

No, I don't want to.

- Okay, she's super drunk, so... - Somebody else can give her a ride.

I don't know why you're making this complicated, okay?

No. We just drive her there, drop her off.

Make sure she gets in okay and then we go home.

What is this all about? You said she sucked

and now you're acting like you're in love with her.

I'm not in love with her.

Well, you proposed to her.

And then you hid it from me. What the fuck is this, Gus?

What do you mean, "What the fuck"?

She's asking me for help, and I want to give her a ride.

I'm going to do it with or without you.

I'll see you back home.

I feel really bad for Leah, you know, because the band ruined her wedding.

I don't know.

It seemed like a lot of people were out on the floor dancing, having a good time.

Oh, yeah. Well, guess what, band?

You're fired.

- Can you still quote him? - Yeah. It's okay.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

You're escorting me home.

Home sweet home.

This bed feels so good.

Good, good, good, good. Um...

- Well, I'm gonna take off now, okay? - No.

- It was good to see you. - Please have a seat.

No, I really... I should hit the road.

Have a seat for one second.

Okay.

So, you heard that I got divorced. That's very embarrassing.

Yeah. I'm sorry to hear that.

Why are you so far away? You're across the room.

Well, please, come... You got to be on here.

- But... please. - Okay, okay. Yeah.

Just for a couple minutes though, okay?

- Okay, are you timing it? - No, I'm not timing it.

- Do you have a timer on it? - No, no, no.

So, here's the story. You're gonna love it.

I met a guy in Denver. I thought he was perfect as can be.

Here's the kicker.

He had kids from his wife that he was married to when we met.

Well, he said, "I don't really like her that much, and I love you."

And I, well, thought, "Oh, he wants to marry me."

I didn't think, "Oh, I'll break up a family." No.

But, please, I can't... Please don't judge me on this part.

- Don't judge me on it. - No, I won't.

Okay, this you won't believe.

I became a stay-at-home mom.

I became a stepmom.

- Guess how many kids? Three. - Oh, uh...

Wow. Oof.

That sounds mega, uh, stressful, but...

Three kids.

Well, it took about four years

for them to, like, not be little assholes to me.

Well, one of them is just, like, born a creep.

And then...

And then one day, he just left me...

for, like...

another lady.

And...

now I'm at, like... now I'm at this weird age

where, like, I'm too young to be divorced,

but I'm too old to be, like, dating everybody.

And too old for my career.

And now I don't have any of it.

I'm sorry.

I think everything's gonna be okay.

That's bullshit. You don't know that.

You don't even really know me. I mean...

For, like, five years, we didn't talk.

You can't say stuff like that if you're not informed.

I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. That was...

No, no, no. It's... No.

You know what? Let's just... We had a fun time at the wedding, right?

Yeah, yeah. It was fun.

I had a fun...

And the best part is... they're happy.

So, at least one of us is happy.

I think that's a... that's the good part.

That one of us is happy.

♪ Don't hold on ♪

♪ Go get strong ♪

♪ Well, don't you know ♪

♪ There is no modern romance ♪

♪ Time, time is gone ♪

♪ It stops, stops who it wants ♪

♪ Well, I was wrong ♪

♪ It never lasts ♪

♪ And there is no ♪

♪ Well, this is no modern romance ♪

♪ And time, time is gone ♪

♪ It never lasts Stops who it wants ♪

♪ Well, I was wrong ♪

♪ It never lasts ♪

♪ And this is no ♪

♪ And there is no modern romance ♪

♪ There is no modern romance ♪

♪ This is no modern romance ♪

♪ There is no... ♪

♪ There is no... ♪