Original subtitles

Lunch'll be ready in a minute. But I gotta

ask you to open this jar of pickles, Mr. B.

I can't move the lid. Sure, Hazel.

Ah. There you are.

Oh, thanks, Mr. B. Glad to oblige.

Son, no matter what anybody tells you,

man is still the stronger sex.

Simple psychology, Missy. Any time you wanna make a man happy,

just give him a pickle jar to open.

Polly? Polly, want a cracker?

Look at that, huh?

Hazel. Dad, look at him!

I thought you were going to wait for us at the supermarket.

That was nearly an hour ago. Where's Mrs. Baxter?

Oh, she went in here to get another rubber bone for Smiley.

He ate the last three. Oh, sure. He loves 'em.

George. Darling, look who's here.

Hello, George. Why, Louise. It's great to see you again.

Hello, Miss James. Harold, you remember Mrs. James.

- Hello, Harold. - Hello.

Guess what Louise just told me? Harvey's been given a promotion,

and the newspaper's sending him to Europe as a foreign correspondent.

- Well, congratulations. - And I'm going with him.

Oh, that's simply scrumptious. I hope you have a good time.

Well, thank you, Hazel. We've been looking forward to this all our lives.

You and Harvey will have to come to dinner some evening before you go.

Why, we'd love to. Now, look out, Harold. He don't know you.

Oh, he doesn't bite. But I should've introduced you.

Harold, this is my French poodle. We've only had him a short time.

His name is Pierre. Shake hands, Pierre.

Look at that, Harold. Ain't that wonderful?

We had him trained at the Harris Dog School.

He graduated last month.

For Pete's sake, he's got a diploma.

He's an egghead. What else can he do?

Well, uh... Will you dance a little for us, Pierre?

Oh, boy.

He sure makes Fred Astaire look like a has-been, don't he?

If you wonder why I'm showing off his tricks, I'll tell you.

Harvey and I can't take him to Europe with us, so we have to find him a good home.

I, uh, don't suppose you could take him?

I'm afraid not. We already have a dog.

Oh. Well, I just thought I'd mention it.

Oh, dear. I'm afraid I have to run.

I have to meet Harvey, and I'm late already. I'll call you about that dinner.

Do that. We'd love to come. Good-bye, all. Bye.

Bye. Come on, boy.

All right, come on. Come on. Let's go.

Oh, look at that. I forgot Smiley was here.

That's awful. Why?

Well, he... Why? He was right here when we were makin' a fuss about that other dog.

A thing like that could break his spirit.

You know, he's awful sensitive. Oh, he was sound asleep.

Come on, Smiley. In the backseat. He's always sound asleep.

The only time he wakes up is when I go to sleep. Then he barks all night.

Mr. B., I got an idea. I got an A-one idea right out of my top drawer.

- Why don't we send Smiley to that dog trainin' school? - Smiley?

I think that's a wonderful idea, George. It won't cost very much.

They could teach him to get up on his hind legs and...

If we could get him up on four legs, I'd be happy. I think it's a very good idea.

And Mr. B., they could teach him to shake hands and...

Doesn't need to learn to shake hands. He's not going in for politics.

You saw for yourself how smart Pierre was.

Yes. And if Smiley had an education, he'd be just as smart.

If you're so interested in his education, why don't you train him yourself?

- Maybe I will. - Good. I'll tell you what you can start on.

You can start breaking him of some of his bad habits, like barking all night,

and begging for food at the table and chewing my slippers.

Good heavens, I knew I forgot

something... slippers. Smiley chewed mine too.

George, you wait right here, and I'll run

back to the shoe store. I'll only be a minute.

Hazel, you got any pennies for the parking meter?

Oh, excuse me, Mr. B. I better remind her. Slippers ain't the only thing she forgot.

She forgot to go to the drugstore. Oh.

Come on, Harold. We're going to see if the bank is still open.

I've got to get about 50 dollars' worth of pennies.

Hazel! Hmm?

Dad wants to know if he can have a cup of coffee. I'm heatin' it up.

What are you reading? Oh, just a book I borrowed from the "libary."

- What's it about? - How to train dogs.

It tells you how to train championship huntin' dogs,

and how to train Seeing Eye dogs...

so they can lead a blind person through the heaviest traffic,

and how to train police dogs, so they can catch a murderer.

But not one doggone word about chewin' up slippers.

I sure wish we could train Smiley to do tricks.

What's the first thing you do?

The book says the first thing you train him to do is to sit.

He's sitting down right now.

Yes, but you didn't tell him to sit.

If he does it by himself, that's just pure dumbness.

I sure wish we could teach him some tricks.

Well.

There's tricks and tricks.

There's old tricks and new tricks.

And if I'm going to teach Smiley any new tricks,

it looks like I'll have to pull an old one.

You just wait right here in the kitchen, Harold.

I'll be right back.

Here's your coffee, Mr. B. Thank you, Hazel.

You know, Mr. B., the more I think of it,

the more I'm convinced that you're right and I'm wrong.

Well, I don't know what you're talking about,

but it is a step in the right direction.

I'm talking about Smiley.

He's driving everybody nearly crazy barking at night.

And when we go out and leave him, he howls like somebody was murderin' him.

You know, that ain't exactly making us sweethearts with the neighbors.

Hazel, I've never heard you say anything against Smiley.

Oh, I ain't saying anything against Smiley.

I ain't... I ain't saying anything against anybody.

I'm just sayin' somethin' for that poodle Mrs. James was gonna give us.

Now there's a dog you can be proud of.

Hazel, I'm proud of Smiley.

Oh, well, that's 'cause you're used to him.

You know, it ain't exactly as if we had him since he was a puppy.

We've only had him three months. And he's so easygoing.

He'd get along with anybody just the way he got along with us.

Now, I'm not going to listen to anything against that dog.

Now, that poodle is a real classy thoroughbred.

He must've cost a couple of hundred bucks.

Think how ritzy we'd be walkin' him down the street.

Hazel, what about Harold?

Oh, don't worry about Harold. I can talk him into anything.

Well, you'd better not try.

George, I'm not gonna let you get rid of Smiley. Who said anything about...

Remember when Harold brought him home after that man abandoned him?

But, Missy, he was a great disappointment.

What do you mean, disappointment?

He's just a mutt. He don't do nothin'.

Hazel, it isn't always what a dog does that's important.

Sometimes it's the things they don't do.

- Such as? - Such as he hasn't bit me in the last three months.

Oh, George, he hasn't bitten you at all. That's exactly what I mean.

Smiley's the only dog I ever had that never bit me.

Well, they don't give no blue ribbons at the

dog show for not bitin' Mr. George Baxter.

When they breed dogs like Smiley that don't, I'll furnish the loving cup.

Okay, Mr. B. So he ain't bit you.

That parakeet out in the kitchen ain't bit you either.

I don't see you throwing no bouquets at him.

All I'm saying is that Smiley keeps barking all night...

Only because he doesn't know any better.

And chewing up slippers... your slippers and Missy's and mine.

Because no one has ever taught him how to behave.

Mr. B., if you was to send him to that dog

trainin' school, you'd just be wastin' money.

It'd take him almost 10 years to get through the first grade.

Now, that poodle... He's already trained.

Hazel, there's nothing that poodle can do that Smiley can't do,

and a darn sight better. I should say so.

I want you to take him to that school first thing in the morning.

Well, okay, Mr. B. You're the boss.

- Well, I'm glad you're aware of that. - I'll take him if you say so.

You heard me say so. You heard him, Hazel.

Yes, sir.

Darling, I find Hazel's lack of loyalty infuriating.

Why, this afternoon, she was begging me to send him to that school.

And now she does a complete about-face, so...

Dorothy, that woman has done it again.

I've been had.

Harold, be sure to remind me to be careful with the lunch boxes tomorrow,

'cause I don't want to get 'em mixed up and give you Smiley's by mistake.

He ain't exactly crazy about peanut butter sandwiches,

and I can't see you gnawin' on an old soup bone.

What does Smiley want with a lunch box?

Didn't I tell you? He's going to school tomorrow.

Smiley's going to dog school? Yeah.

And learn tricks? Oh, sure.

Your dad don't want nobody in this house that's ignorant.

Smiley's going to be the smartest dog in the world.

And when he graduates, well,

we'll decide then whether he ought to go to Yale or Harvard, huh?

Hello? Yes. Can I help you?

Well, yes. I wanted to see about getting a dog trained.

What kind of a dog is it?

Well, your sign outside said you trained all breeds.

That describes him. I don't think he has a breed missing.

Well, mixed breeds are sometimes the most intelligent.

Did you bring him with you?

Hazel, can you get him in here?

Come on now. Come on. Come...

He ain't exactly crazy about going to school.

He must've picked that up from Harold.

Come to think of it, he could've picked it up from me.

Would you let me have that... that rubber bone that you bought for him?

He's a very superior dog. And he has the courage of a lion.

But he won't go no place without his pacifier.

What was the name, please? Uh, Smiley.

Oh. Is that Miss Smiley or Mrs. Smiley?

Oh, no. The dog's name is Smiley.

I'm Mrs. George Baxter. I'm sorry.

Attaboy.

He ain't much to look at, but he's Ivy League all the way.

Ain't that right, Smiley? We're very fond of him.

We want him to learn a few tricks, of course.

But he has a few bad habits my husband would like corrected.

Yeah. Do you give a degree for not chewing up slippers?

Or do you have a course on not barking all night?

Well, Mr. Harris isn't here right now,

but I'll take you out in the yard and you can meet with the trainer.

If you'll just come with me. Come on, Smiley.

Attaboy.

Now, ladies, the first thing we do is teach the dog to sit.

He must've read the same book.

Teach the dog to sit and to heel.

Everything depends on you... the tone of your voice,

the way you hold your leg when you stand, the position of your foot.

Who are you training... The dog or me?

No, don't pick it up. Leave it there. Let's teach him to pick it up.

Mr. Harris? Yes?

Do you remember about three months ago when Mr. Wagner...

brought a dog in to be given obedience training?

Yeah, a funny-lookin' mongrel called Mickey. Why?

He called the next day to say that the dog had been stolen or lost or something.

So? Well, there are two women out in the yard.

They have the dog, and they act like it's theirs.

Well, it might not be the same one. Oh, I know I'm right.

You come with me and see for yourself.

How do you do? My name is Harris.

Say, he's a cute one, isn't he? Uh-huh.

Hold old is he? Oh, well, we don't really know.

- Well, didn't they tell you when you bought him? - Well, we didn't buy him.

We found him. Or rather, my son found him.

A man put Smiley out of his car and then drove away.

Smiley followed my son home.

May I ask how long ago that was?

About three months.

You see? Three months ago.

Just what's this all about?

You see, I happen to know who he belongs to.

He belongs to a Mr. Wagner. The dog was either lost or...

Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to notify the owner.

But he belongs to us now.

Or... Or we belong to him.

We're his family. I'm sorry.

Well, you can do whatever you want, mister. We ain't givin' him up.

Come on, Missy. Come on, Smiley.

I don't care what the man says. Smiley belongs to us.

You're darn tootin'. And we belong to him.

And he loves us, and we love him.

Yes. He's ours. He's gonna stay ours. You said it.

And we're gonna fight this out if we have to go to the Supreme Court.

This is one time Mr. B.'s bein' a lawyer is gonna pay off.

Yes. He'll find a way. He knows all the ins and outs of the law.

Let him have the ins. All we want is an out.

He'll think of all kinds of ways for us to keep Smiley.

Sure, like possession is nine points of the law,

and finders keepers, losers weepers.

He'll think of millions of ways to keep him.

He's wonderful at things like that.

Well, he just drove in.

We'd better get him busy thinking up legal opinions right now.

Oh. I was about to ring the doorbell.

Mrs. Baxter, I'm Jeff Wagner. I believe you have a dog here that belongs to me.

You got the wrong Baxter. It's no use, Hazel. Let him come in.

Thank you.

Hello there, fella. How are you?

Oh, it's wonderful to see you.

You see? He knows me. Hello, Mickey.

You got the wrong dog. His name ain't Mickey. His name's Smiley.

It was Mickey when he was stolen. Wasn't it, Mickey, huh?

I'm terribly sorry about this, Mrs. Baxter. Harris at the dog school telephoned me.

You see, I had a gardener who was inclined to drink too much, and I fired him.

Now, there's no doubt in my mind he was the

one who stole Mickey, but I couldn't prove it.

Well, if you can't prove it, you can't have him. Hazel, please.

Mr. Wagner, we've grown so fond of Smiley.

Wouldn't you let us keep him? I wish I could.

I'm sure that you've been very kind to him, but I... I simply can't.

Well, the reason I'm asking isn't for myself. It's for my son.

Well, the reason I have to refuse is not for myself. It's my daughter.

Sandra.

Mickey!

I'd gladly buy her another dog and let you keep Mickey,

but she's refused to have another pet of any kind since she...

Since she lost Mickey.

- It broke her heart. - Mother!

Hazel? That's my son. He's home from school.

I think you better take Smiley before he... Oh, yes.

Of course. I understand. Come on, Sandra. Come on, Mickey.

Let's go.

Mother! Hazel!

Look what I bought with my lunch money.

It's for Smiley. I got him a new collar.

What's the matter with Mother?

Come on, Harold.

If you didn't eat any lunch, I better get you some cookies.

That'll hold you until dinner.

Where's Smiley?

Here's your cookies.

Thanks. But where's Smiley?

Here, Smiley!

Smiley, where are you?

Can't you sleep, George? No.

Neither can I.

It's so quiet.

I guess I just can't sleep without a dog barking.

And another thing.

Wherever Smiley is, will you tell him I've got his collar?

Oh, pipe down!

Smiley!

You old fellow. I'm so glad to see you.

Yes. You came back to a good home. Yes, you did.

Smiley! He ran away from them, and he came back again!

Aw. Look, Smiley. I got your new collar.

Look at that. George. George, can't we keep him now?

Well, I'm afraid I'll have to call Mr. Wagner in the morning...

and have him come and get him.

Would you like some more coffee, Mr. Wagner?

No. No, thanks. This is quite enough.

I'm afraid it isn't very good. I made it myself.

Hazel makes the best coffee in the world.

But we don't know where she is. She left before we got up this morning.

Well, this... This was delicious.

George, it isn't like Hazel to go off like that without telling us.

Well, I'm sure she's all right.

Just the same, I do wish I knew where she had gone.

Well, Mr. Baxter, I... I think we'd better go.

I hate to prolong this agony.

I wish we could've met under more fortunate circumstances.

Frankly, so do I.

Harold.

Now, thank you, Harold. Now, don't you worry. We'll take good care of Mickey.

We'll, uh, keep him tied up until he gets used to our home again.

I don't think I can go through any more of these fond farewells.

Come on, Sandra. Excuse me. Good-bye, Smiley.

Come on. Come on. There.

Wait a minute. There's Hazel.

I'd know that door slam anywhere.

Hazel, where have you been? Oh, I've been busy.

- Hi, Mr. Wagner. Hi, Sandra. - Hello.

Mr. Wagner, you remember the other day you said

you'd be glad to buy another dog for Sandra?

I got one for you, absolutely free. Won't cost you a dime.

Harold, you run out in the kitchen and get him.

It's all right. He won't bite you.

Just a moment. I think you misunderstood.

I said I'd gladly buy her another dog, but she wanted only Mickey.

Oh, wait till you see this one.

Hurry up, Harold.

Why, that's Pierre. Hazel, did you go over to Louise James's house?

Oh, sure. She's gonna come over just as soon as she gets dressed.

Ain't he a beauty? You know, she can't take him with her to Europe,

and she doesn't wanna leave him in the kennel.

And when I told what wonderful folks Mr. Wagner and Sandra was,

she said that they could keep him for keeps.

Only she wants to meet them first.

I don't think it's quite that simple.

He's pretty, and I like him. But I love Mickey.

So do I. And his name's Smiley.

Oh, sure. Everybody loves Smiley-Mickey.

But wait till you see Pierre do his tricks.

- What kind of tricks? - Well, watch this.

Now, Pierre, I want you to meet Miss Sandra Wagner.

Now, walk over and shake hands.

Come on. Get up on your hind legs and walk over and shake hands.

He's not doing it.

Come on. Get up and shake hands.

Ain't that just like a Frenchman?

Independent as a hog on ice.

Daddy, let's go home.

Come on.

Now, Pierre, I want you to meet Miss Sandra Wagner.

Walk over and shake hands.

Daddy, look!

Now I'll make him sing for you. Come on. Come on, Pierre. Sing.

Daddy, listen! He's singing!

Maybe I can make him dance for you. Come on. I'll beat time. Come on.

♪♪

Daddy, look at him! Look at him! He's dancing!

Oh.

Attaboy, Pierre.

What do you know about that? I should've known.

Dogs is just like people.

They don't like to do somethin' for nothin'.

Oh, Daddy, can we have him?

Instead of Mickey? Yes. Please?

I really love Mickey more, but Harold is crying.

And Mickey must love him, or he wouldn't have run away last night.

Honey, you are a princess after my own heart.

I can't think of anything better than for all of us to have breakfast together.

We'd love to. Thank you. Let's all pitch in and help Hazel fix it.

All right. Come on, Pierre.

Come on, Pierre. Come on. Come on.

Harold, ain't you comin'?

First, I just want to say thanks.

Move over, Smiley.

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