Original subtitles

.

It is with great regret that I must inform you

that Operation Saviour did in fact fail.

Jamie, is the son of God.

Ever since waking up, I hear this voice.

It says, "I have to give you a message."

Armageddon is tomorrow,

your mother has a bunker. She wants to save your life. So let's go.

(SHATTERING) (TYRES SCREECHING)

I've watched you for so long,

I know how you talk, how you move, how you think.

(GUNSHOT FIRING) (GASPS)

JAMIE: See that? That's the end of civilisation.

Yeah, it's judgement day.

The actual apocalypse.

And where am I? Deep under the suburbs of suburbia,

watching it on telly.

NEWSREADER: One minute now, one minute.

Uh, these pictures coming live to us from Hubble.

JAMIE: A few minutes ago, I was a dead man,

now, now I don't know what I am.

NEWSREADER: The human race united as never before.

It's time to brace ourselves, to say goodbye.

JAMIE: Yeah, it's been quite a morning so far.

(GUNSHOTS)

Faster! Put your foot down!

It is down! Quit tellin' me how to drive!

(GUNSHOTS)

God Scotty, I'm so sorry.

Just hold on. Everything's gonna be okay.

(TYRES SCREECHING)

Okay, we lost 'em! Go left.

I said go left!

Go left?

There ain't no left. It's a fence, are you blind?

Go left, that's an order!

Don't you be takin' that tone of voice with me!

Please go left, ma'am.

So that I can save the life of everyone in this vehicle.

Oh, well, gee, since you asked so nice.

(TYRES SCREECHING)

Thank you so much.

Stuff it.

Okay, that's us.

Where the hell are we going?

England.

England? Why England?

There's a bunker, Mom's...

Mom's?

I don't understand. Mom's dead.

(TYRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTS)

We'd almost given up on ya!

Oh, crap, is he gonna make it.

Yeah, now let's get going.

Got you buddy.

We're cutting it bloody fine. It's a seven and a half hour flight.

Well fly us then. (GRUNTS)

SPIKE: Mom?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Am I dreaming?

Oh, my boys.

Oh, I don't know why this is happening but I'm so glad that it is.

Okay guys, buckle up.

I always promised to take you to Europe one day?

Well, ta-da.

Oh, yeah, you're such a romantic.

Guess what, we're staying in a hole in the ground.

With no natural light.

And, your mother's gonna be there.

Yeah, yeah, my mother,

the one who killed my father, and then died in a plane crash.

That won't be weird at all.

You know what? I don't care.

I'm just so happy to see you both.

So, the final day dawns over Britain.

The sun will rise again...

In ancient Egypt, when a Pharaoh died,

they buried his servants with him.

So they could serve him in the afterlife.

(BEEPS)

Your, um, your pressure's through the roof.

You need to relax. They will get here.

Relax? How can I relax?

If they don't get here in time, this'll be my mausoleum.

How long?

How long will I last without new blood?

(KNOCKING) WOMAN: Help. Where am I?

Help! The sedative must have worn off.

(WOMAN IN CRATE PANTING)

MAN: (WHISPERING) Frankie, wake up.

Go and find your grandmother.

Okay.

She's at the church.

Why?

You'll need her help.

NEWSREADER: ...about 500 miles

out into the Atlantic, west of Ireland.

The failed Saviour blast created a huge amount of debris,

so the final hour will see a meteor shower of an unprecedented scale.

(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)

Where's Jamie?

He said he'd be here. I'm sure he's on his way.

At least she turned up.

Oh, bloody hell, you're a bit happy.

Yes. Okay, this is going to sound crazy but last night,

I was very drunk in the toilet of the pub.

And I had the most incredible experience.

With? God.

God came to me, she was wonderful.

There is nothing to be scared of.

We will all go to heaven. And I'm going to see Jude, again.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Fit. Bonkers.

And emotionally vulnerable. A perfect woman.

What?

Oh, can you hang on a bit? I'm just waiting for my son.

Sorry. Now or never.

(SCREAMING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may now kiss the bride.

VICAR: Quickly. FRANKIE: Stop!

There's no time for kissing!

We have to go to the bank!

What are you on about?

The voice said, I had to get you to go to daddy's bank!

I don't know why.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

So are we seriously doing everything this voice is telling us now?

What if it's Jamie? What if something's happened to him?

No, we can't just steal a car.

Whoa! Have I become the voice of reason now?

Marriage has changed me.

Get in the car.

Yes dear. (ENGINE STARTS)

(RATTLING)

JAMIE: Just a jumped up bit of tree, aren't you?

(SIGHS)

(ELECTRIC WHIRRING)

Is somebody there?

Hello!

(WHIRRING)

Yes! Yes.

(LAUGHING) Yes.

(WHISPERING) Go to...

Go to the computer. Yes?

The spreadsheet is called Vault Codes.

Yeah, Bank Vault Codes, on it.

And the password is, Dave...

Dave. Has a...

Has a...

Tiny...

(SIGHS) Tiny...

Winky.

We could just leave him in there.

Mum! Dave! Oh...

Jamie.

I'm so pleased to see you.

I thought I was gonna die in here.

I thought I was gonna lose my baby.

What happened?

My brother. He's pretending to be me.

He's got Layla and Frankie.

Oh, no, Frankie's with us.

Oh, thank God.

We still need to get Layla though.

See, there's this bunker.

We can all survive, if we...

Why are you dressed like that?

We told you last night...

Hold on, was that your brother?

Oh, wow!

I mean, he was good.

Very, very convincing.

Thanks, Mum, that's really helpful.

Seriously, why?

Well, we've got some news, son.

Why aren't you scared?

There is nothing to be scared of.

It's going to be wonderful.

We will all wake up in heaven. And I'm going to be with Jude again.

But Jude doesn't want to see you.

Why do you say that?

It's true.

He says he wants you to live.

.

Why don't you believe me?

Because it's impossible. I can't be pregnant.

Why not?

Because the doctors said I can't have children.

My tummy doesn't work well. I cannot make any eggs.

Oh. We had a chicken like you once.

So Mum cut its head off and we ate it.

What's that?

Um, it's a baby stick.

I have to pee-pee on it.

Ew. That's disgusting.

Frankie?

Frankie?

Frankie?

Frankie?

Great news. We were worried sick.

Listen, just keep her there, and we're, we're coming straight away.

My grandma found Frankie.

Oh, my God! Really?

(SOBBING)

How?

I don't know.

Apparently she just ran into the bunker a few minutes ago.

The point is she's safe. Okay.

I, I don't understand.

Frankie doesn't know where the bunker is?

Er, maybe the voice in her head told her where it was?

All right. What does it matter?

Let's just get in the car, and go be a family. (SNIFFLES)

Cheer up.

We'll all go find Layla, and then we can all live happy ever after.

Yeah, with him as my step-dad. Yeah.

Love you too, junior.

So, this is us.

From now on we drive in style.

Where are they? You said they were waiting in the car.

(ASTEROIDS RUMBLING)

Oh, for God's sake.

(SHATTERING)

LEANNE: Thirty minutes till we land folks.

Hey, um, I wanted to say thank you.

I appreciate you getting me out back there.

I'm sorry your friend got hurt.

Now let's get one thing straight, I didn't get you out.

Rhonda did. I'd have left you to rot.

'Cause I've spent my life fighting everything that symbol stands for.

You know what you are?

A dinosaur. (SCOFFS)

You know what happened to dinosaurs last time round?

They got wiped out by an asteroid.

Stay away from me.

RHONDA: Don't ever say that.

I'm serious. If I'm slowing you down, leave me.

Save yourselves. I'm dying anyway.

You have a one in five chance!

Had.

I had a one in five chance.

But that was with treatment.

Well there's a doctor in the bunker.

That lady told you. Rhonda, please be reasonable.

Oh, screw reasonable.

You think reasonable is why we're all together now?

You think Leanne's reasonable?

Or my mom, whatever the hell her story is, you think it's reasonable?

They're survivors.

We should be more like them.

Frankie?

Frankie?

It's okay.

This is what you want.

You can just not look.

Then you will never know.

(SNIFFLING)

(SOBS)

Help me!

Celine.

Frankie!

We're running out of time.

Maybe we should split up, cover more ground?

No!

The splitting up caused the problem in the first place.

Frankie!

FRANKIE: Daddy!

Oh, thank God, you're safe.

You had me so scared.

You mustn't run off like that. Where's Celine?

(EXPLODING)

She's in there.

I don't mean to seem heartless, but we haven't got time.

Either we rescue Celine.

Or we go and find Layla.

But we can't do both.

Listen, we don't even know if she's still alive, mate.

CELINE: Help.

Help me.

Please help me. I'm pregnant.

I want to live.

Celine!

It's Jamie, we're coming.

CELINE: Jamie? Is that you?

Oh, it's a miracle!

You're an angel Jamie.

Dad.

After this, we're going to get Mum, aren't we?

Everything's going to be fine, I promise.

(AEROPLANE WHIZZING)

I ain't no expert, but this don't look too good.

Our promise?

It still stands, right?

I don't want to go in that bunker.

Me neither.

(RUMBLING)

But you said you'd be with me at the end, right?

Now, we promised your sister that we'd take her to that bunker.

And I keep my promises. You got to hang on to...

(THUDDING)

(WARNING ALARM BEEPING)

LARSSON: We're going down!

LARSSON: We're going down! Everybody strap themselves in!

(GRUNTS)

SCOTTY: We tried, didn't we?

Yeah, we tried.

LEANNE: I ain't cowering.

.

(EXPLOSIONS)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

GAINES: Please.

Help us.

Help us.

(GRUNTING)

(SOBS)

Scotty? Can you hear me?

Scotty, I think this is it.

So whatever happens, I'll be by your side.

I'm happy about that.

I'm happy we're going to be together... (HISSING)

(SIGHS)

Can a dinosaur do that?

I'm changing.

So you can suck it!

(CHUCKLES)

Well, what are you waiting for, let's get your wife out.

So, this is England.

It's pretty.

(SHEEP BLEATING)

You know, aside from the rocks falling out of the sky.

(SHEEP BLEATING)

SPIKE: Mom?

Spike, are you okay?

(PANTING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS IN PAIN)

Dad, if Dave's married to grandma,

does that mean he's my grandpa?

No.

(MOUTHING)

(TYRES SCREECHING)

Hang on, I thought the bunker was back there.

Jamie. No. No.

We are not going to Windsor!

JAMIE: Just a few minutes, okay?

I at least have to try to find her.

LARSSON: We have to run, right now.

The bunker is still two miles away.

RAJESH: Honey, she's right.

Anyone who can't run gets left behind.

I'm not going to make it. Go. Please.

No, I said I won't let you go. Ever.

And if you're not willing to fight,

then I guess I'll just have to surrender.

Is this what you want, huh? RAJESH: What're you doing?

I don't have time for this.

Rhonda, I don't give a monkey about the others,

but you and Spike are coming to the bunker, now.

Now move... (YELLS IN PAIN)

Oh, not so fast, munchkin land.

You know what?

I got a question for you because

something seems real funky to me.

I'd like to know why you so hot and bothered to get Rhonda

and her son into that bunker, hmm?

Okay.

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you?

Because I'm the only one who knows

where the bunker is, you moron.

You know, that's a real good reason.

Mom?

(TYRES SCREECHING)

DRIVER: Get out the way!

Sir, do you have any possible means of survival?

Of course not. Out of the way!

Okay. Then, I need this truck more than you do.

So, get out of the car and give me the keys.

Piss off.

I'm very sorry, but I do need this truck.

And I did ask nicely.

Now get out and give me the keys.

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

I said, get out.

Or what?

(ENGINE REVVING UP) Sir. I don't have time for this.

I am not joking.

Get out of the truck!

(ENGINE REVVING UP)

Give me the truck!

(GUNSHOT) (TYRES SCREECHING)

He was going to die anyway, right?

RHONDA: In a few minutes.

.

LAYLA: Where the hell are we?

ARIEL: This brings us back out by the bridge.

Can we, um,

can we talk about last night?

About me

not...

Uh, Jamie, we've got bigger things to worry about right now

than your erections.

It's really not a problem, sweetheart.

It's worked perfectly well every other night, didn't it?

Right. Yeah. Of course, it did. Just last night it didn't...

I just wouldn't want you thinking less of me, babe.

(CHUCKLES)

It'll be fine once we're in the bunker.

I'll be like a completely new man, I promise.

Jamie. Did you...

Did you just call me babe?

You hate the word babe. (CHUCKLES)

How did you get a call from your gran?

The network's down.

Ariel used to call me babe.

Everything I've done, I've done because

I love you and I want to save you.

The bunker's real and it's your only hope.

Now I know where it is, you don't.

And Frankie?

We can make another Frankie.

Our daughter, not his.

I love you.

And I know we can make this work.

Ariel...

I'd rather die.

No! (TYRES SCREECHING)

ARIEL: Don't do it! (LAYLA SCREAMING)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(HISSING)

(PANTING)

(SOBBING)

(CANS CLANGING)

C'mon, Layla. Please. Please. Please.

Jamie. Love. We need to go back.

It's over.

You've got to think about Frankie.

It's time to let Layla go.

Dad. Why aren't we moving?

JAMIE: We're going to the bunker.

Dad. I don't understand.

FRANKIE: What are you doing?

She's there.

(TYRES SCREECHING)

Jamie!

(TYRES SCREECHING)

RHONDA: Rajesh.

Honey. Please look at me.

(EXPLOSION)

(GASPS)

He was going to die anyway, right?

I thought it was kind of badass.

Don't say that.

(ALL GRUNTING)

He didn't mean that.

LEANNE: If you hadn't done it, I would have. I would have.

Well, General.

Looks like you and me have a few similarities.

(PAULA WHOOPING)

Yes! We made it!

Up yours, Universe!

We are going to survi...

No.

(DISTANT EXPLOSIONS)

Is there another bridge?

Not for miles.

We wouldn't get there in time.

Is anyone good at swimming?

Not even doggie paddle.

I can swim with arm-bands.

But I forgot my arm-bands.

Well, that's that, then.

At least we're all together, eh?

(EXPLOSIONS CONTINUE) Sorry.

(PEOPLE SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE)

No.

This is not happening!

I'm not dying here!

Within sight of where I need to be. It's there.

Right there!

You!

Thames.

Get out of my way.

Get out of my way!

I command you!

JAMIE: I command you!

I command you!

Please.

Please get out of my way.

Just...

Don't be there any more.

(SOBBING)

Please. Just...

Jamie?

Jamie.

Sorry.

That wasn't very dignified, was it?

Where's that stiff upper lip when you need it?

(PANTING)

.

(EXPLOSION)

Come on, let's go.

(GRUNTS) Let's go.

SCOTTY: Wait, Rhonda.

Rhonda!

Good luck in there.

What? You're not coming in?

No.

Are you insane? You came all this way just to give up?

We're not following you inside, right?

Actually, no.

I agree with your sister. Rhonda, give me a hand?

SCOTTY: What? No. Arnie, you promised.

Scotty. You married a fighter. You think I'm going to let you die?

No! No! Come on!

All right, come on! Shut up, Scotty!

SCOTTY: We killed people.

(GRUNTS)

(COUGHING)

(DOOR SQUEAKING)

(SHRILL CRY)

Please tell me that ain't staying?

Let's go. Ugh.

(GRUNTING IN PAIN)

(GRUNTING AND GROANING IN PAIN)

Okay. (GRUNTS)

Okay. I'm going to get you down here.

You're going to be fine. (GROANS)

GAINES: Then you can rest up.

Come on. Scotty, here. Down here.

Hey. Hey. (GROANING)

I'm doing this because I love you.

And maybe one day you'll forgive me.

SUTTON: Rhonda?

Is that really you?

All grown up.

I'm so happy you're here.

Give your mom a hug.

A hug?

You want a hug?

Suddenly you're the touchy feely type?

You abandoned us.

You killed Dad, you died in a plane crash!

Me and Scotty, we were five. We had nothing.

Eight foster homes in 13 years.

Why? Because we were penniless orphans!

But apparently we weren't.

Apparently, you were alive the whole time.

And rich. Rich enough to have servants and whatever

the hell this place is. No, you don't get a hug.

Okay, we're not at hugging yet.

We are still at explaining and shouting.

(LOUD CRASH)

A rock's hit the entrance.

We've got a problem...

Need some help up here.

This isn't right. I mean, this shouldn't be happening.

I'm sure there's a perfectly rational weather-based explanation.

Weird winds or something.

Weird winds?

It's a miracle, Jamie.

A Charlton bloody Heston type miracle!

You really are the son of God.

JAMIE: Mum, can we not do this now?

My little Scotty teddy bear.

My God, all that blood, what happened?

I understand you're suspicious of me.

But there's always two sides to every story.

Uh... yeah... Okay, but, erm.

I'm really a very caring person.

Yeah. Thing is, your monkey's kinda sticking it's finger in my wound.

Malcolm. Don't do that. Bad boy.

Shall Mama give you some num-nums, hmm? Shall she?

Come along then. Folllow me, little man.

WOMAN: Psst. Buddy.

Don't trust the monkey.

The monkey's pure evil.

Please.

(GRUNTING)

GAINES: Nope.

It's not shutting.

RHONDA: What? What's wrong?

It's jammed, it ain't budgin'.

If somebody drives that truck into it, that might do it.

ALL: Yeah!

But, how does the driver get back inside?

They don't, hun.

They'd be sacrificin' themselves.

I'm gonna do it.

I wanna do it.

No. I'm dying. I'll do it.

No, not you.

And not you.

You! GAINES: Hey, hey! Come on.

I'm sorry, but you're not a member of this family.

You're an outsider, you're gonna stay outside.

Rhonda. Rhonda, please. Stop!

I'm not letting you go. Why won't you fight for me.

I am.

I am saving the woman I love.

Don't be Leanne. Don't be your mom. Be you.

I can't.

Not without you.

Honey, you don't know the pain I'm in.

It's only gonna get worse.

If you love me, let me go. Please.

Spike, get in here.

RAJESH: You have to get in now.

Go on.

Mom? It's time to go in.

Mom.

No. No.

Come on. There's no time. No!

We have to go.

We have to.

No, no...

No. No.

No. No!

(RHONDA CRYING)

Oh, this can't be happening.

Come on.

DAVE: Yes!

Up yours apocalypse!

RAJESH: Help!

I need you to help me!

Jamie come on, get in.

They're gonna die unless you help me!

The door isn't locked. If you want them to live you have to help me!

Go in, I'm right behind you. I promise.

I need to drive this into the door to lock it.

But the truck won't move, see?

I can see it. There's something wedged underneath.

.

You must be with Jamie?

Where is he?

He's shutting the door.

Oh, and you must be my great granddaughter.

Aren't you a peach?

You're weird.

It's clear. That should do it.

Okay, go on, get in there.

What about you?

Just go.

Go!

Perfect. They're all here.

Yeah, but now we have too many.

We don't have enough food and water.

Give it time.

Then we can dump the peripherals.

You okay? I am.

We made it.

Ariel!

Hey, hey! You son of a bitch!

You left me to die!

Whoa, hey, oi! Back off, face-ache.

He's not Ariel.

He's the son of God.

Um...

I think, maybe, we're all getting off on the wrong foot here.

Oh, you think?

Ariel's my twin.

But he's dead.

Gone.

I'm Jamie,

lovely to meet you.

Well I'm gonna shot you, Jamie, how does that sound?

I'd rather you didn't.

And I'm sure we're all going to get to know each other really well.

(DOOR SHUTTING)

Given how, you know,

we're stuck together.

NEWSREADER: One minute now, one minute.

It's time.

JAMIE: Yep, it's judgement day,

the actual apocalypse.

And where am I?

NEWSREADER: These pictures are coming live to us from Hubble.

Round my Nan's watching it on telly.

I know what you're thinking. "Cheer up. You're one of the lucky ones."

My question is, am I?

WOMAN: Please, please help me outta here.

I mean, have you seen the freaks I'm stuck with?

NEWSREADER: We've got live feeds here from Times Square.

From Beijing.

And Jerusalem, there.

JAMIE: A few minutes ago, I was a dead man.

Now suddenly I've got a future.

NEWSREADER: The human race, united as never before.

It's time to brace ourselves, to say goodbye.

Thank you all for watching. I hope we'll meet again.

Mom, don't watch, please.

Look at me, Mom.

Mom, keep looking at me.

Open the door.

Please.

It's me.

I was helping you.

He hit me. Took my clothes.

Open the door!

It's too late.

It's over.

But I'm Jamie.

I'm the real Jamie.

Please help me.

Please help me!