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Enjoy yourself. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight
Show. You're here. You made it. Thank you for walking at home.
Fun show tonight.
Well, guys, today in the Oval Office, President Trump sat down for an
that will air on NBC before the Super Bowl.
Yeah, Trump did the interview on one condition.
Anytime he was asked about Jeffrey Epstein, he got to spin his chair around
The Voice.
But Trump was happy to do the interview because now he could say, 100 million
people watched the Super Bowl thanks to me.
They all tuned in for the...
Well, this is big. The House just
passed a new spending bill so the federal government has fully reopened
parcel shutdown.
Yeah, that's good news. That's true, yeah.
Yep, in a statement, House Speaker Mike Johnson said, we were on the verge of
shutting down, but we somehow survived.
Then JCPenney said, you were on the verge of shutting down, but somehow
survived? Join the club, bud.
Then Johnson said, we got caught with our pants down, but came out looking
And Justin Bieber said, we got caught with your pants down, but came out
good. Join the club, bud.
Ben Johnson said, we spent hours thinking, how much longer is this going
on? Then everyone who saw the Melania documentary said, spent hours thinking,
how much longer is this going to go on?
Join the club, bud.
Ben Johnson said, we closed the door and made some magic.
Then your mom watching Bridgerton said, close the door and made some magic.
Join the club, bud.
Ben Johnson said, at one point, I got so emotional, I had to leave the room.
Then your dad watching a Super Bowl ad with the Clydesdales and a puppy said,
got so emotional, you had to leave the room. Join the club, bud.
Ben Johnson said, my haters call me a giant, smelly rat, but I'm just doing my
job. Then Punxsutawney Phil said, your haters call you a giant, smelly rat, but
you're just doing your job. Join the club, bud.
Van Johnson said, we still have so much to get done. It is a long list.
And finally, President Trump said, I'm not on the list. Wait, what was the
question?
Go in the club, bud!
For more political news, the CEOs of Netflix and Warner Brothers just
before the Senate to defend their possible merger.
Senator Cory Booker led the proceedings, and this was crazy. At the end, it
turned out that he was cake.
What?
Well,
guys, the Olympics are almost here, and NBC is running a lot of promos to get
people excited.
Check out this one I saw earlier today. It's good. The Winter Olympics are here.
Featuring death -defying sports, mind -bending agility, and curling. Flying
downhill at 90 miles per hour. Soaring over 60 feet in the air. And a rock
tapping another rock.
Early mornings in the gym, late nights on the slopes, and Swiffering. Don't
the world's greatest athletes, Hillary Knight, Chloe Kinn, and Doug. Catch them
all on NBC.
Yeah.
Exciting. The Olympics are almost here, baby.
Hey, did you see this? Spain just became the first European country to ban
social media for teens.
Yeah, your annoying friend is like, I just got back from Barcelona. I was
to post about it, but they banned Facebook and Instagram.
Yep, Spain is hoping teens pick up more appropriate hobbies like drinking red
wine and bullfighting.
And finally, guys, you ever work with someone a while and you see them around
the office every day, but you don't really know each other?
Yep, well, here's a song about that I hope you like. Take a look.
He's a co -worker whom I barely know.
I think he works like two closets low.
If we pass in the hall, I give a head nod. I think that his name is Stephen or
Todd, but it's been too long and it's past the point when I can ask him,
He's a co -worker whom I barely know.
I think we just have different workflows.
If I pass in the hall, I give a little wave. I want to see his name or Jason or
Dave. Think he told me once, but I had a noise -canceling headphone.
Gregory or Harold?
Trevor, Mike, or Gerald?
I'm so unaware of this guy's whole MO.
Benjamin or Terry?
Vincentine or Larry?
I am very wary, so I'll settle with Sopro.
We could be best friends, but we don't take the next step. We keep to
but he could be my best friend.
Invite him to brunch and share and let's get closer.
But we never talk, so we'll never get closer.
Never get closer.
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never get closer.
When it's 5 p .m., yeah, it's time to go.
On the way out, he's in the elevator.
I'll say bye. I'll say see you later. He's a co -worker whom I barely...
Trevor.
Finton.
He's a co -worker who I finally know.
Today's my last day. Good luck with everything. Thank you.
Back to Kevin James. His new movie, Solo Mio, is in theaters Friday.
We have a great show.
everybody. Come on.
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