Original subtitles

I'm gonna miss you.

Wish I didn't have to go.

I love you so much.

Now you're gonna take your pills, sweetheart, huh?

All right? Don't just chew 'em up and spit 'em out.

I can't believe you're traveling, mom. I know how much you hate to fly.

Yeah, I do, but some things are important.

Thank you for letting me leave him with you.

Of course. He's a cutie.

Hey, kids! Come say hi to grandma!

I'm on the phone!

So, um, the yellow pills are twice a day,

- and the blue ones... - I know, mom.

You gave me the list, remember?

Yeah, I know, but...

And these are his toys.

- And he sleeps with Mr. Moose. - Hey!

If you guys don't come in here right now,

I'm gonna flush your phones down the toilet!

I don't wanna see them... I mean, i-i'm...

I don't wanna disturb them. I know they're busy.

And hey, don't you yell so much!

I don't want you to stress him out.

- Mom... - He's already... freaked.

I don't think he' stressed. He's fine.

- Hi, grandma. - Oh, hi, Tommy!

So... who died?

Oh, an old, old friend.

Hey, maybe you'll play with Dashiell some time.

Maybe.

Okay, um...

If anything should happen,

know that I love you, Dashiell. Yeah.

Mommy loves you and you're gonna be taken care of.

Okay, mom, stop being so dramatic.

Okay? Flying is very safe.

You'll be back before you know it.

Nothing is gonna happen.

Claire!

Allie.

So glad you came.

- Thanks for letting me know. - Oh.

Of course. Mom really missed you.

She really loved you.

I loved her.

Stop it! I can see you!

Three now.

Three, can you believe it? Stop it!

Dad will be really glad you came. It'll mean a lot to him.

Wonderful.

I'm wearing high heels in honor of Joyce.

- Aww. - She had such great legs,

and she always loved to show them off.

She did! She had the best legs.

Claire! Oh, you made it!

Oh, that would mean so much to her.

This is Claire, one of Joyce's oldest friends.

They were at college together.

Claire lives in Ohio now.

- We're so sorry for your loss. - Oh, bless you, darling.

Call us and come over to dinner, Howard.

- Thank you, I will. - We love you.

Claire.

Howard... I'm gonna kill you.

Now that she's gone, now that it can't hurt her,

I'm gonna kill you.

This weekend. I'm gonna do it this weekend.

Howard, oh!

- Dear Howard! Oh, you dear man! - Oh, hi. Hi, hi.

I'm so, so sorry.

You think you'll get used to it,

used to the idea of loss.

When you see it this far over the horizon...

It's like that shot in Lawrence of Arabia,

you know, the little speck that gets closer and closer.

I learned a lot.

I changed a lot.

I learned Patience, humility.

I learned...

To enjoy lattes.

Some of you know that Joyce just loved her afternoon lattes,

and she got me addicted to them as well.

Sometimes I... think I can still hear her say...

"Howie! Go to the cafe and get some lattes, will ya?"

I met Joyce in New York.

We were married...

Seven months after we'd met.

And I have no regrets.

None.

Darling, I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart...

Is this the wrong entrance?

Said "chapel" on the door.

- Oh... - Howard.

Did I interrupt your eulogy?

- God, I'm sorry. - That's all right, Evelyn.

It's all right, please. Everyone, this is Evelyn.

Um... Evelyn was Joyce's college roommate,

- believe it or not. - Why wouldn't they believe it?

- That's just an expression. - I was in the back,

using the restroom. It's like a maze.

- Understood. Yeah. - A labyrinth.

Nice photo. A bit sanitized, maybe.

- What? - Well, she looks pleasant,

but Joyce was never just pleasant. She was always sparkly.

"Sparkly"? Evelyn, would you mind taking a seat?

Would you mind, please?

I'm in the middle of my eulogy to my wife.

My wife of 51 years has just died!

I understand. My friend just died.

My friend of 60 years. How 'bout that?

Isn't that something?

Oh, go ahead. You were saying something about...

"No regrets," "darling Joyce," "bottom of my heart."

Yes, I...

I was about to say...

I admired her courage in fighting this awful disease.

Evelyn! Evie!

It's-it's me, it's Claire.

Hi, Claire. I know it's you.

I haven't lost my marbles. Yet.

- Or my eyesight. - Get in.

- Let me give you a ride. - Do you have a driver's license?

I do. I took the test two months ago.

And you passed? Did you bribe the instructor?

I didn't have to! I'm an excellent driver.

- I trust the bus more. - Oh, get in!

I need to talk to you.

About what? What do you need to talk about?

- Come on, move it! - God, hold your horses!

What kind of person honks a horn in a graveyard?

Jeez! Pass, there's room. Go!

- You jerk! - Get in, Evie!

I... I need to talk to you.

I told him.

You told him what?

I told him I was gonna kill him this weekend.

I'm gonna kill the bastard.

I could chat. A little bit.

You're not gonna kill anyone.

- I am. - You always had big ideas,

but very little follow-through.

Not true!

Oh, what about the time you were gonna go out in the middle of the night

and paint a vagina on that fraternity house?

I don't remember that.

You talked about it for weeks,

you were gonna do it for homecoming.

No kidding! What happened?

Nothing! Nothing happened. You never did it.

Or what about the time you were gonna become a lounge singer?

Or drive down to Peru?

There's still time.

- Are you still playing? - 'Course I'm still playing!

Without my cello, i'd be lost, completely lost!

- Well, good for you! - Mm.

I'm not with the orchestra anymore.

I'm with a couple of ensembles.

One is devoted totally to modern composers,

and the other is all bach.

Do-do you still have that cute little house?

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, that's wonderful. Wonderful.

Um, so I was wondering...

If-if you could help me.

What, murder him?

There's a little thing called jail.

Nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.

And let's take a moment to remember our beautiful, kind, happy friend

whose funeral we attended today.

I've thought about her.

I prioritized her happiness over mine,

over my-my sanity.

She never asked you to do anything.

And I told you, I told you to go the police.

Yeah, you did. They wouldn't have believed me.

I mean, back then?

"Why were you alone in that house?

You knew your friend was out of town."

"Why were you alone in your best friend's house

with her husband?"

Mm. "Best friend." I thought I was your best friend at that time.

You were both my best friends!

I'm just yankin' your chain.

It would've ruined her life if! Had told the police.

We'll never know.

Her life might've been better.

What's the plan?

I'm gonna shoot him. I'm gonna buy a gun

and I'm gonna take it to the wake.

- Mm-hmm. - You wanna come with me?

Sure, scarface. Sounds like fun.

Oh!

Uh, hello.

- Hello. - I-I'd like to buy a handgun.

- Mm-hmm. - Um, something not to heavy, please.

- And maybe a silencer. - Hm.

Well, I can't sell you a silencer.

You can't legally buy a suppressor in California.

- Tsk. - Oh.

You can wear earplugs.

Well, what kind of firearm would you recommend for me?

I want something that's... light.

Well, what're you gonna use it for?

Tell 'im.

Sport shooting? Self defense?

Yea... self defense.

Okay, well, how about this little Davis derringer?

Fits right in your pocket,

or your pocketbook, right next to your keys.

- Oh, it's cute! - Very!

.22 caliber, two shots. Nice backup piece.

Wanna hold it?

- Oh, sure! - It's used, costs about $125.

- It's light! - How's the recoil?

Recoil?

Um, not gonna lie, it has a little kick. Not much there to absorb the shock.

Do you have arthritis in your wrists and hands?

A little bit in my-in my left wrist.

But I take medication. Hips are my problem.

Mine too! I got a hip replacement last year.

Oh, how'd that go for you?

Pretty good, thanks. I also recommend this beretta 92.

Looks heavier.

It has very little recoil. Very smooth, feels like a Cadillac.

I think that the key here is to use a load that lessens the kick.

These .9mm bullets are very lightweight.

Hollow point for maximum damage.

Oh, maximum damage sounds neat.

Yeah, I'll take... I'll take the smaller gun.

Um, okay. I'll need your California driver'slicense or your Cal ID,

and you can take the handgun safety test right here in the store.

I don't have a California license.

- You don't have California license? - No, I live in Ohio.

Then I can't sell you a gun. Sorry.

Well, darn it! We tried.

So, did you get that out of your system?

The whole dirty Harry, death wishthing?

No, I didn't get it out of my system!

God!

I should've bought a gun at home and brought it.

Couldn't have gotten it on the plane.

Oh, Claire, it's been decades, and not like a couple of decades,

it's been four and a half decades!

It was yesterday.

Yeah.

Oh, I remember.

The necklace Joyce was wearing in the photo, at the funeral home?

I gave her that necklace.

- I had one too. - Do you have any poison?

I have a cyanide pill in case i'm captured by the enemy. You can have it.

I'm just gonna have to stab him in the stomach.

Are you going to the wake?

No. I'll read about it in the newspaper tomorrow.

I have a rehearsal.

You hate him too!

I don't hate anybody, it's too exhausting.

Well, let me give you a-a ride to your house.

I think I'd rather take the bus.

Evie... Evie...

You're the only person I ever told.

Jesus! Really?

Well... except for a therapist.

I had a therapist after my second divorce.

Clearly it's done wonders for you.

Evie... come with me.

Bye, Claire.

Hey, Ernie.

How's it hanging, Phil?

Oh, god...

Oh, god...

Oh, goddammit!

Yes?

Yes. Coming!

- Hi! - Remember me?

'Course I remember you!

Are you visiting your grandpa again?

My parents are over there.

- Mm. - I wanted to come and say hi.

- Well, thanks! - Can I come in?

Oh, sure, for a second.

Aren't your parents gonna miss you?

They didn't miss me last time.

That day we played checkers.

Wanna play again?

You know, um...

I can't right now.

Um... how's your grandfather? How's Walt?

He wants to teach me how to throw a ball and shoot a gun.

Oh, does he have one?

He has a baseball.

But does he have a, uh, gun?

Yeah.

- He has a gun. - I think so.

He showed it to me. He says he wants to teach me.

Huh.

Can we do that other thing we did last time?

The fashion show?

Well, you did look cool in those heels.

But I don't have time right now.

- Oh... - Wait, wait. Come here, come here.

Tell you what, you can choose something from this to keep.

- Really? - Why not?

Who else am I gonna leave 'em to?

Oh, except you can't have this one...

Or this one, and this one I got in Seoul

when I traveled all over with the orchestra.

Can I have this?

Your ears aren't pierced, are they?

- Tsk.

Mm... not those, but how about these?

These are clip-ons.

See, you open them like that, and you clip them...

Pop 'em right onto your earlobes.

- They don't pinch, do they? - No, it's fine.

Well, go look at yourself.

Wow!

They're... beautiful.

You're beautiful, kid.

- Better get back to your parents. - ' [9'99'931

Hey... hey!

Bye.

Oh, Joyce...

Oh, to hell with all this!

May I take your coat?

Yes.

Where's the kitchen?

- The kitchen or the bathroom? - Kitchen.

Right in there. It's pretty busy in there right now.

Good.

- What are you doing over here? - Oh!

- Looking for the bathroom? - No.

That's not the right order. I want...

Tomato, olive, cheese. Tomato, olive, cheese.

- Can I help you, ma'am? - No, thanks.

No, wait! What are you doing?

Those go back in there for another five minutes.

I love chocolate. I just can't.

Oh, wait! Is that for me? Thanks.

Claire, have you ever met Wendy?

Wendy brought us this beautiful batch of brownies.

- Isn't that wonderful? - The least I can do.

- Your mom was so wonderful. - Thank you.

I was her art teacher. She was a very talented painter.

- Was she? - Oh, yes!

Thank you. Would you do me a favor and run that back to the kitchen?

Guys! No more sugar.

No, you're gonna go crazy.

Claire?

Claire?

It's me, Ralph.

Ralph! What are you doing here?

Oh, Howard just called me out of the blue and invited me to the memorial.

I wasn't busy, so I came.

Well... when did he call you?

Afew hours ago. I hope you don't mind that I'm here.

I was very fond of Joyce.

You two were great friends.

And he told me that you were here.

- You look nice, Ralph. - Thank you.

I'm glad you're still alive.

Me too!

It's good to see you.

Why-why are you carrying that knife?

Oh, I was gonna stab someone.

Come on!

Crab cakes?

Uh, would you take this to the kitchen for me? Thank you.

Uh, is that a no on the crab cakes?

That's a no, yes, thank you.

So... how are you? How's your husband?

We were divorced 15 years ago.

Oh, i'm-I'm sorry.

How's your wife?

Uh, she passed about four years ago.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - But she lived a good, full life,

and I loved her deeply.

Well, that's good.

I had no idea why I said that.

I mean, it just goes without saying. I guess...

- Guess I'm a little nervous. - Why?

Well, it isn't very often that you...

Not very often that you run into your ex-wife?

Not very often.

Any kids?

I have one kid, two grandkids.

- Great-grands? - They're not that great.

No, I have no great-grandkids.

- I have a corgi. - Mm!

- Pictures? - Of course!

- How could I not, right? - Of course!

It's what we do these days.

Let me see...

Come on, Dashiell. Come on!

Give me a smile.

- Oh, good boy! - Cute, huh?

Oh, dogs always loved you, Claire.

Yeah. You?

Oh... lovely!

Lovely!

Ahem.

It's really nice to see you.

- I hope I didn't scare you. - Oh, come on!

You're as beautiful as ever.

And you're as kind as ever.

Look at you two lovebirds!

Or "love pterodactyls," maybe.

Evelyn.

- Hi, Ralph. - You came!

I didn't miss the carnage, did I?

I think someone is about to give a speech.

Oh, good. Perfect timing.

I know my mother...

My mother would be... so happy to see you all here.

She'd really appreciate, I know dad and I do.

So please eat, drink,

and raise a toast to my mom.

The best mom in the world.

To Joyce!

Yes.

- Um, I have a few words to say. - Please.

Uh, this is Evelyn, one of my mother's oldest friends.

Joyce was a wonderful woman.

She certainly was.

A great cook.

A devoted wife and mother.

A doting grandmother.

And forjunior and senior years in college,

and then six months in new York city after graduation,

she was my roommate and my lover.

Jesus, what?

And this wasn't a "gay until graduation" type of thing.

This was who she was.

But not who she wanted to be.

God!

I'm sorry, Howard. What's so funny?

You are, Evelyn. You always had such a great sense of humor.

Mm, not really.

People think I'm being funny, but I'm really just talking.

It's very inappropriate, Evelyn, and untrue.

And not something my children needed to hear.

Oh, was it?

Did you even understand what I was saying, honey?

You said you loved grandma.

That's right! That's exactly what I said.

Adorable grandkids.

She got that in the transaction, I guess.

She told me.

She told me that you were delusional,

that you were infatuated with her.

I mean, we used to laugh about it.

She thought you were funny. I can tell you that.

She told me you were cruel.

My father is one of the kindest people I know.

Oh, is he?

I think you should leave now.

I tend to agree.

Howard, you didn't deserve her.

Um, can anyone give me a ride?

So? What did you think of my big news?

I knew.

Two of you were always staring at each other,

mooning over each other.

So why didn't you say something?

Why didn't you?

Joyce didn't want to.

Guess I didn't either at the time.

- It was a different time. - No.

You have always underestimated me.

Here, pull over. Here, at the bus stop.

What gives? I can drive you home.

What're you afraid of?

Hey.

Ta-da!

Why... why did you lie to me?

Why-why did you say you still had your house?

Well, if you thought I still had my house,

then for a moment there it was as if I still had my house.

Yeah, makes sense.

Not really.

It just got too much to keep up.

I-I spent a fortune on plumbing, the roof...

I didn't have the money anymore.

- I love these chairs! - Aren't they good?

But didn't you get a great pension from the orchestra?

Well, I have a modest pension.

Enough to pay for this place.

I'm in the independent living section,

- so I come and go as I want. - Right.

For rehearsals and concerts and...

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

Arthritis, tendonitis, bursitis.

My ankles are in good shape, though.

I still teach, from time to time.

I do a master class, occasionally.

One of my old students teaches nearby,

she has me come in, critique the sawing.

- Oh. - She throws me a few bucks.

And the meals are included here.

I like eating cardboard, so it's worked out for me.

I can invite a guest.

Wanna come to dinner?

Well, you-you make it sound so appetizing...

Uh, no, but Ralph invited me to diner.

Damn, you work fast!

Look!

Look at us!

Look at us...

You were married to grandpa?

Yes, I was.

It's not polite to stare.

- Well, you can't blame him. - That's true.

I'd stare.

This was before grammy?

Of course it was before grammy, knucklehead.

- What do you think? - Don't call him names. Say you're sorry.

Sorry.

Now tell him something nice about him.

You're good at roblox.

Now you tell your brother something nice about him.

You smell funny.

That wasn't nice. Do another one.

- Uh... you're fast. - Yes, he is.

- I am fast. - Very fast.

It was a long, long time ago when your grandfather and I were together.

Prehistoric times.

Okay.

How long are you in town for?

Just for the weekend, the funeral.

This is so good!

- You're a good cook, Ralph. - Mm.

Well, I remembered you were pescatarian.

Still am!

Can I be excused?

- Me too, I'm full. - What about dessert?

Can I take an ice cream sandwich upstairs?

You finish that salmon.

I can't, I'm full.

Okay, well, the garbage can will finish it.

- That's me. - Oh!

I eat anything they leave.

Oh...

If you both take your plates into the kitchen,

wash them off and then put them in the dishwasher...

Then you can take an ice cream sandwich upstairs.

- There you go. - Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

- Good kids. - Thank you.

They are a pain in the butt.

It's nice that your father has you here with him.

- It certainly is. - Yeah!

Well, it's good for us, because he's such a good cook.

Yeah.

I think I'm gonna excuse myself as well.

- It was very nice to meet you, Claire. - You too, joie.

Um... care to have an after dinner drink?

Okay.

Claire, there's, uh...

There's something I've always wanted to ask.

Oh, god...

What happened?

Now, don't get me wrong.

This is the best thing that could've happened to me,

I-I moved on with my life.

I met zora,

I have kids, I have grandkids...

But I've always wondered.

Heh. So I'm gonna have to sing for my supper, huh?

Oh, no, no, no.

You don't have to unless you would like to.

You know, it would be nice after all this time

to have one less mystery in my life.

Did you meet someone?

- Meet someone? - A man.

Did you fall in love with someone else?

No, no.

Well, that's a relief.

I guess.

I mean, I thought maybe...

If-if I was to be honest,

I thought perhaps it was the old story.

What old story?

That I'm black and you're white.

And what, and I just suddenly realized that?

Maybe your father got to you.

Oh, Ralph!

I loved you.

I loved you, Ralph.

And then?

Something happened.

- Something happened? - Yeah.

- Something bad? - Yeah.

- And you couldn't tell me? - I couldn't.

I couldn't, I couldn't.

It made me mute.

I made me... deaf. It made me...

It made me blind to you and to everything good in my life.

I just... couldn't.

Claire, Claire, Claire, i-i...

- I don't understand this. - I know.

But I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you, Ralph.

Not funny.

Walter.

Walter.

Walt!

What? Who is it?

- It's Evelyn. - You're not the nurse.

No, I'm Evelyn, from the lunch room.

- Oh... - Don't get up.

- I couldn't if I tried to. - Oh...

What are you doing at this time of the night?

Do you have a gun? Do you?

You're not allowed to have a gun in here.

I imagine not, but do you?

- Who told you I have a gun? - Your grandkid.

My grandson?

Well, maybe, time will tell, but let's not get into that.

Where is your gun?

You leave my gun alone.

- Here, in this closet? - Don't open that closet.

If you do, i'm calling the nurse.

Okay, all right, all right. Just relax, Walt.

Please, I would like to borrow your gun, Walter.

What for?

Well, there... There's these thugs.

They're threatening my friend.

She lives in a rough neighborhood.

But if I show them this gun,

just kind of waved it around and said, "hey!

You leave my friend alone, you misogynist creep!"

Then they'd leave her alone.

- That sounds harebrained. - I suppose,

but it's the god's honest truth.

Will you do this for me, Walter?

Will you be a hero and loan me your gun?

Okay... if you do something for me.

Anything! Well, almost anything.

I want...

Bacon.

Bacon? Okay.

Should I bring you some from the cafeteria?

No, no, no, no, no, their bacon is horrible!

It's a Turkey bacon. No, I don't like it.

- I want real bacon! - Ah...

I want crispy bacon, four pieces. Oof!

If you do that for me,

I'll give you what you want.

Seems fair. I'm gonna go. But Walter...

This was not a dream.

Well, I hope not. I want that bacon!

Good night.

Claire?

I remember when you were saving up to buy this.

Ralph!

Oh, my god!

I wrote you about it, but you said you didn't want it anymore.

All of that time studying,

all those hours in the dark room...

Yeah...

I saved it just in case.

But, then again...

Packed up a bunch of old stuff.

I wanted to be dorothea lange.

Oh, Ralph...

It's, um... it's getting late.

- I should go. - Don't.

What?

Dontgo.

Please. Stay.

Okay.

Oh, Ralph!

What if-what if joie catches us?

Claire, this is my house.

I can have someone in my room if! Like.

Right.

May I kiss you?

Why not?

- Oh, Ralph... - Oh.

Gotta catch my breath.

I'm sorry. It's, uh, it's...

It's been a while.

I appreciate the enthusiasm.

One sec.

Viagra?

No, no, no.

It's just my statin.

I take it every night after dinner, so I won't forget.

Where were we?

You brought me to your room,

and you were putting the moves on me.

Are you fucking serious?

Well, if we're gonna do whatever it is we're thinking of doing, um...

I'm gonna want to ask you to turn the lights off,

but first I want to plant myself...

Firmly and safely in the bed.

Okay.

I'm on board. Lights out.

Ralph!

Do you have a condom? I don't wanna get knocked up.

Hello?

I'm in.

You're in what?

- I'm in on the Howard thing. - You are?

Well, my other murder canceled this week,

so I've got time.

Are you still in or do you have second thoughts?

- Which way is the wind blowing? - I-I have not had second thoughts.

But what difference does it make?

Here's the difference it makes.

I have a gun.

Or I will, as soon as I get some bacon.

Some bacon?

You think you can get a hold of some bacon?

Well, yeah, I... I think I can get a hold of some bacon.

It's gotta be real bacon. Not veggie bacon, not-not Turkey bacon.

Old fashioned bacon, four slices, cooked. Get it?

Meet me here.

Ah!

Good morning.

Hi! Good morning.

I hope I didn't wake you up.

- Oh, I smelled the bacon. - Sorry.

For what? He's a grown man.

Right.

You cooking us breakfast?

I smelled bacon.

Why don't you go back to bed? It's very early.

You can have bacon later.

Okay.

Are you going to be our new grandmother?

No. No, I'm not.

Okay. That's good.

Just 'cause, you know, our old grammy.

I know, yeah. I bet she was wonderful.

- You're a big fan of bacon? - Oh, big fan!

Can't start my day without it.

Thought you were a pescatarian.

Yeah, yeah.

Except after sex?

Funny.

Uh, do you have a-a ziploc bag?

- You got the stuff? - Yeah.

- Crispy? - Pretty crispy. Uh...

You didn't mention how crispy it was supposed to be.

I'm just curious. Follow me.

- Walt. Walt! - Mm?

Oh, I'm not dreaming!

I told you it wasn't a dream. This is my friend Claire.

Hello, Claire.

Now I'm dreaming two beautiful ladies in my room.

Well, it's very kind of you. Thank you.

Oh, god, you brought it. I can smell it.

- I told you. - Can I see it?

Bring it-bring it here, please.

- Please! - Oh, well, where's your thing?

- The firearm. - Oh!

It's in the closet, on the top shelf to the right.

It's in a wooden box for checkers.

- Checkers. All right. - Checkers. Yes!

Um, you can have the bacon.

- Thank you. Oh! - J' ta-da j'

thank you.

Oh, my god, this is so wonderful!

- Mm! - It's not too crispy?

- Uh-uh. Perfect! - Oh, good.

- What isn't here? - God, you're an angel.

Hey, what did you mean when you said

"time will tell" about my grandson?

There's something wrong with that boy.

No, nothing is wrong with James. You're a lucky bastard.

I can see the checkers, but I can't reach them.

- Hi, Walt. - Hello there.

Oh, hi...

This is Claire and Evelyn, my friends.

- I've met Evelyn. - Yeah, we've seen each other around.

- Oh... - Ooh, what's that you're eating?

Oh, it's bacon. It's delicious!

- Not supposed to eat that, Walt. - Oh, come on.

Ladies, I'm going to need to catheterize Mr. Mangopyan,

so I do believe the visit is over.

Hector, would you do me a favor?

There's a box up there, a checkers box.

- Can you reach it? - Sure!

These ladies, they wanna borrow it.

Oh, it's heavy!

- What's in here? - Oh, a gun.

You crack me up, Walt.

- There you go. - Oh, thank you.

Happy catheter.

- Thank you. - See you soon!

See you.

Walt... uh-uh.

Uh, what is it? Is it a toy?

It's a flare gun. I used to have a flare gun on my sailboat.

You had a sailboat?

Yes, Anette and I had a sailboat.

- Who's Anette? - The woman I was married to.

Oh! Well.

- Good! - I'm glad you approve.

We met in 2006, married in 2009...

Right before she died.

She wanted to get married. I did it for her.

2009? Wow, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry she died. I'm sorry I didn't meet her.

That's her, in the photograph.

She was an amazing violinist.

Not just violin.

Mandolin, guitar, any stringed instrument, she could play.

- Oh, she's beautiful. - Claire.

I want to show you how this gun is loaded.

You open it, press this button...

This is the cartridge. Red side in.

Shut it. It's loaded.

But, um...

You-you couldn't kill anybody with that, could you?

Oh, yes! Mostly yourself, if you're not careful.

You could burn a hole right through someone with that.

Wow.

What made you decide to help me?

"Since I cannot prove a lover,

I am determined to prove a villain."

Excuse me?

Richard III, Shakespeare.

Only you, Evelyn.

I've missed you.

- You had my number. - Well, you had my number.

So we're both lousy friends.

Who is it?

It's Ralph.

I slept with him last night.

No kidding.

Oh, that good, huh?

No, it was-it was good, I...

Just not...

What I came here for.

It's ringing.

Yeah, ho-Howard? It's Claire.

Hello, Claire.

- I wanna come over and see you. - You do?

- Yes. - Tell him you feel bad.

Yeah, I, um... I feel bad, you know?

Howard, I want to come over and apologize in person.

Apologize for what? Threatening to kill me?

Uh, yeah. For that.

All right, well, apology accepted.

I just... I feel...

Crazy, I've been just crazy, Howard.

Woman... woman...

A crazy woman, you know, I...

- Stress! Stress! - It must be the stress.

I've been under a lot of stress.

You know, because of the traveling?

Oh, Jesus! Wow!

I wanna make friends. I wanna make friends.

I hate to...

I hate... I hate to think that I came all this way...

And-and to have that be the last...

Time that-that, you know, that I saw you.

And so I think I should come over and apologize

before I go home. And...

Somehow I feel that Joyce wouldn't want it to end like this.

Well, look, I'm going to the park with Allie and the kids.

I... I suppose you could meet us there.

Perfect. Uh, where?

Should-should I load the gun now?

I wouldn't. You don't want it going off in your bag by accident.

So, what? I just take it out and load it right there, in front of him?

I guess.

Look, you don't have to prove anything to me.

I already know you're ioca.

No, you were right.

I... oh, my god!

There are so may things that I have not ever followed through on.

My dad used to call me "I.L."

Short for "little loser."

How crummy.

I remember him, in his uniform, at graduation.

So you'll keep Allie and the kids occupied?

There they are.

Oh, Christ! She's got that awful dyke with her.

Dad! Don't talk like that.

Well, it's unconscionable what she said at your mother's wake!

Anyway, it's not even a bad word, is it? Dyke?

It is when you say it, so don't say it.

You know, I think I'll go talk to Claire.

I refuse to speak to Evelyn.

Oh! God damn.

Hello, Howard.

A word of advice...

Hello, Claire.

I'm glad you called. We're old friends.

I wouldn't want there to be any bad blood between us.

Yes.

Should we sit down and talk?

Yes, just for a moment.

- Hi, Evelyn. - Hi, there.

Bet you didn't think you'd be seeing me again!

It's a surprise.

I supposed I should, what? Apologize?

Um, I've actually been thinking about it a lot,

and I think maybe I should?

Guys, come here right now.

What's that little one's name?

- Joyce. - Joyce, that's nice.

Are we gonna ride the carrousel or not?

Yeah, just go line up by the gate.

When I said you were lying... I knew you weren't lying.

I found some letters when I went through my mom's stuff.

My dad couldn't do it, he was a wreck.

So I went through my mom's whole office,

and she kept some of the letters you wrote her.

She did? Love letters?

They were very... Frank and explicit.

Holy cow.

She kept the letters all these years?

Hot dog! I'm tickled.

We have an extra ticket. You wanna get on?

I'd love to.

Look, Claire...

I understand.

I understand guilt, it's a horrible emotion.

It distorts everything.

- Guilt? - Yes, I understand your guilt.

I felt it too, for many years.

My guilt for what?

What happened.

Our transgression.

Don't worry, she never knew about it. I-I never told her.

Huh, even when I was getting sober, when I was making amends,

I didn't tell her. No reason to it.

Would've caused too much pain.

- You made amends? - I did.

I called the people in my life,

the ones I felt that I'd wronged...

It was very healing.

It changed me, you know, the whole process.

Would you mind sitting with her?

- With joycie? Sure. - Mm-hmm.

May |?

- I get dizzy on the horses. - Yeah, me too.

What, are you looking for tissues?

Oh! Oh! Oopsie!

You dropped this.

You know, I really better be getting back to the grandkids.

I mean, oh, god! The energy!

What's that? The heck is that?

Is that a toy?

No. It's a flare gun.

What, for emergencies?

I want you to tell the truth.

I want you to say it.

I want you to say what happened.

What happened?

What happened?

We had sex!

Yeah! It may have been a bit rough,

but we had sex one drunken night.

Now I wish it'd never happened,

but I never meant to betray Joyce,

and I'm sure you didn't want to hurt your friend.

That wasn't sex!

All right, stop pointing that. I'm not joking now.

Sit down.

Don't tell me what to do. Now I've had enough of this!

Sit down or I'm gonna shoot you.

You'll shoot me?

- What, with a flare gun? - I'll burn a hole in you! I'll do it.

Listen, you're delusional.

I don't know what you think happened between us...

Yes, you do.

I think you're suffering from dementia, that's what I think.

I think you blame me for what happened to your own marriage to Ralph.

I think you gave him a terrible time of it,

because I think you're that kind of person.

You're one of those people who are never satisfied,

one of those women who are not built for happiness.

- Stop lying! - You want the truth?

- Stop lying! - You want the truth?!

- Yes! - I'll give you the fucking truth!

I'm shocked.

I am shocked by your utter selfishness!

I just lost the love of my life.

She was everything, everything to me!

I've had my heart ripped out!

And you have the nerve to come here,

to come here with your fucking gun and you...

Oh... oh... oh...

Ho-Howard...

Howard!

Howard!

Uh... help!

H-Help! Someone's... Had-had a heart attack!

Giddyap!

Giddyap! Giddyap!

You think your sister knows it's not a real horse?

Hey, come on! Come on!

Oh, my god!

Did you save grandpa's life? Mom said you saved grandpa's life.

Yes. Apparently.

Oh, we don't know that.

He can still take a turn for the worse.

You wanna know something amusing?

Joyce kept my love letters.

- That's amusing. - Isn't it?

- Allie told me. - Tsk.

I mean, I'm tickled. After all those years!

I wonder if Allie threw them all out.

So, did your grandmother ever talk about me?

About Evelyn?

Um... I... don't know.

It's okay. I'm just wondering.

He's doing okay.

Thank goodness you brought that flare with you!

Why did you have that thing?

Oh, she always carries one.

You'd be surprised what she fits into that bag.

Was it a-a heart attack?

No, they don't think it was a heart attack.

They think it could've been an anxiety attack, possibly an ulcer.

They don't know. They're keeping him overnight to make sure.

So he's not gonna die?

Well, they're still running tests, but they think he's out of danger now.

They say it's really good that he came in.

He's been under a tremendous amount of stress.

Oh, stress is a killer.

A slow one, evidently.

You think I could see him?

Oh, I think so. I think he'd like to see you,

but they just gave him a sedative, so he might be sleeping.

- Yeah. What room? - 814.

Claire...

I'm starving.

I think I'm gonna run the kids down for a snack and come back up.

Can I stay? I'm not hungry.

No, you can come down with us.

But I'm in the middle of a game. I'm trying for a record.

Can you just keep an eye on him?

Sure.

And can you not mention anything about...

Anything sapphic? Sure, no sweat.

We'll be right back. Come on, girls.

Oh, Christ, no...

Nurse!

Joyce was away visiting her mother, who was sick.

And she asked me if I wouldn't mind dropping food off for you.

She said that...

You couldn't be relied on to feed yourself.

And she was worried about you. She said you'd been drinking a lot.

It was a mistake.

Whatever happened between us...

- It was a mistake. - It was a mistake?

That you grabbed my breasts so hard, they hurt for a week?

That you put your leg behind my leg and tripped me down to the floor,

and then lay on top of me...

And pulled out your penis...

Put your hands on my throat,

and said if I screamed, you'd choke me?

Then you pressed my face into the floor,

and you pulled up my skirt and you shoved it in me?

I would never force myself on anyone. I would never do that.

You wanted it.

You were always looking at me.

I would catch you... staring.

You had troubles in your own marriage.

You just don't remember.

Oh, come on! It was 45 years ago.

It was 46 years ago.

What was that room number again, 814?

Don't talk to any strangers.

Oh, shit!

Claire, no, no! No!

Thank you.

Fuck you.

Claire... Claire...

How dare you?! How dare you stop me?!

I couldn't let you. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life in jail.

Maybe that's what I want!

Maybe I'd rather be in jail, knowing he's dead!

Maybe you want to go to jail, maybe you still will.

Attempted murder is a crime too.

Oh, he's not gonna say anything!

He knows it's true.

He knows it's true!

Don't you have a kid? Grandkids? A house?

God, it's... Ralph.

I don't know what he wants.

Oh, you know what he wants.

You think I'm getting any action nowadays?

All I have is a cello I can't play anymore!

An option on a room in-in assisted living

once I can't keep up my room in independent living.

You know what you have?

You did what you wanted in life.

That's what you have.

Get in.

I'll take the bus.

Oh, god.

What?

Oh. Did I wake you?

- What's wrong? - Nothing's wrong.

I just wondered if you might like a glass of vodka.

I don't drink.

- How about a joint? - No.

A little heroin? Some cocaine?

Sorry to interrupt.

Oh, you're so pretty!

Hello.

Claire! He's doing okay.

I'm picking him up later this morning.

Good.

- You're still flying out today? - I am.

Well... it was really nice to see you.

Appreciate you coming.

Mom really loved you.

I loved her.

And your grandparents, I...

They were really good to me and my husband, my ex-husband.

I'd never really seen that before, you know, up close?

A loving family.

Thank you for telling me that.

Uh, here they are.

There's a lot of them.

- Just in there. - Thank you.

Thanks.

Bye.

- Hey, Dottie, how are you? - Oh!

Hello... Evelyn?

I don't see you in here that often.

Well, the cardboard gets stuck in my teeth.

Would you care to join me?

Well, the last time we talked,

you called me "a narrow-minded philistine."

Oh, that's a compliment, coming from me.

Hm. I looked up the word "philistine."

- It's not a compliment. - Mm.

Jeez.

Hi! Are you visiting your grandad again?

Here.

No, no. Those were meant for you.

No.

Hey, what's wrong?

James!

- James! - Is this the lady?

Sweetheart, get in the car with butterscotch.

Is he okay with that dog in there?

It's his dog.

Listen. We're here to visit with his grandfather.

I know that.

We don't come to have someone play dress-up with him.

I imagine not, but if James wants to play dress-up,

what's the harm in that?

Thank you for the parenting advice.

- You're welcome. - Can we go?

- Evelyn? - Claire! What are you doing here?

I brought you something.

Just get in the car, James.

I wish I was your grandmother.

- Well, you're not. - I wish I was.

I'd make you some damn cookies, I'd buy you a sweater,

I'd tell you every day just how perfect you are.

You'd be a terrific grandmother!

- Get in here! - Never say never, kid!

- You look great in rhinestones! - Come on!

Wait, butterscotch! Butterscotch!

Butterscotch! No, no, no!

- No! Butterscotch! - Oh! Oh!

- Claire! - Oh!

Oh, my arm!

Oh!

Hang on, hang on, sis.

- So how's your hip? - My hip's fine.

So it's just your arm?

Yes, it's just my arm that seems broken.

I guess that's lucky. I mean, for your hip.

Yeah. Oh, god, be careful!

Oh! Ah! Oh, my god!

- That was a stop sign. - I can see that. Now.

How long has it been since you had a license?

Um... eight years.

We should've let that family drive us.

And get in the car with that dog?

Actually, I really could stand a latte.

No, the doctor said you couldn't have caffeine.

We can get you a decaf.

Oh, I'll be damned if I drink decaf! It defeats the purpose.

Well, you're gonna have to get used to it,

'cause that's all i'm gonna have in the house.

I hope you're not gonna be ordering me around all the time in Philadelphia,

because if you are, I don't think I'm moving in.

Oh, man...

It's all right.

What did you bring me?

The letters.

Your love letters to Joyce. They weren't thrown away.

- Really? - Yeah.

I went to the house and I got them from Allie.

Claire, you did that for me?

Well, I thought you'd want them.

That was very thoughtful of you.

It occurs to me, I could've had the biltmore arms

call you an ambulance.

Oh, that was the emergency entrance!

Well, were we allowed to use that?

I mean, is this an emergency?

I guess not to you.

Well, should I turn back?

Whoa!

I see you! Jeez.

I'm gonna get a latte.

Your mom would want me to.

Look, I won't be long. There's a cafe in the lobby.

And it won't be a goddamn decaf!

Dad!

- Where the hell do I park? - There's a place up ahead.

It's right around the corner.

Watch out!

Whoa!

What the fuck?!

Oh... oh, my god, it's him.

Oh, my god! You!

You nearly killed me, you fucking insane whores!

_ - god!

- Shit. Shit! - Oh, my god!

I didn't see him!

Justjumped out!

Oh, he's dead!

Oh, my god...

Fucking shit!

Evie, he's dead!

Ouch!

Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh...

Oh, god! He's dead!

What the fuck?!

- Oh... oh... - Oh...

Aren't you glad I didn't let you smother him?

Yes.

- Hi, ladies. - Hello, again.

What a tragedy!

One right after the other.

Yeah...

But I guess they're both in a better place now.

Not sure about both of them.

Uh, Claire, I brought your camera.

I went out and got film for it andloadedit

Ralph! That is... Extremely sweet.

- Thank you. - Yeah, talk about full service.

Would... would you... Take a picture of us?

Uh... here?

Yeah, please.

Well, yeah, yes, of course. Uh...

I'm not very good with the camera.

Well, I'll... I'll focus it for you.

Uh, Evie, stand... Here. Stand here.

- Okay. - Yeah, it's...

Okay, right here. There you go.

Okay.

Be sure you get the grave in the background.

Okay.

- Cheese! - Cheese!

Got it!

- Great! - That is not appropriate!

Oh, you're so nice! Thank you!

- Looked good? - Okay.

Well, I'm gonna let you two catch up,

or whatever it is you get up to.

Um, Ralph. Goodbye, Claire.

Uh, Claire.

Would you maybe like to go to lunch?

Nothing romantic at all, just-just lunch.

Why nothing romantic?

What if I wanted to get romantic?

- Is that an issue? - Not with me.

Okay.

But I have to give you a raincheck. I'm gonna have lunch with my friend.

Oh! Oh, I like that.

Evie, wait up!

Wanna grab some lunch?

Sure! How about a bacon sandwich?