All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S5E15

Previously on Vanderpump Rules.

We can talk about the bachelorette
party.

I feel like it would be really fun to do
New Orleans.

I will know exactly where to take you
guys.

I'm going to have an awesome groomsman
squad. Where do you want me to go?

Wherever we go.

I did take what I had for granted and I
f***ed it up. You were an arrogant

little punk.

She drinks and then she's mean and sends
me all of these mean messages only when

she drinks.

A lot of people feel that you're fake a
lot of times. And why the f***? Are you

friends with me if I'm fake? I don't
agree with what Lala said. But honestly,

I'm not going to sit here and lay down
in front of a truck because of some dumb

shit she said.

Lala, you've known for about five
minutes.

You've known me for how long?

You've said stuff about her too, though.

Really?

I did not ask Ariana to be a prize queen
for a f***ing reason.

She is a self -entitled, elitist, like,
suck -up person.

That's called being emotionally mature.

Alright. Are you drunk?

Dude, I cannot believe you're doing this
to me right now.

Let's go.

Come on.

Hello. Hi, Luna.

Hi. Hello.

It's so hot outside.

I know. And guess what? It's about to
get even hotter.

Well, it's more humid. Yeah, humid.

Are you bringing any heels?

I'm probably going to bring one pair of
heels, but...

I feel stressed. I feel like it's my
f***ing wedding. I swear to God I feel

it's my f***ing wedding because I feel
stressed that things aren't going to be

fun or, like, is the bachelorette party
going to be good? Is she going to be,

like, so disappointed with, like, places
that I choose? I mean, it was really

hard. Like, I didn't have Katie as a
friend for a year because I kind of

up. It's so much pressure. I have
nightmares about Katie being

me. And now, basically, I'm in charge to
make sure Katie has the best

bachelorette party ever.

This is a chance for me to do things
differently.

Better. I haven't worn this shirt yet.
That's super cute.

It's fun and flirty, just like you.

But I'm not flirty. But you have to,
like, stop convincing yourself that

not. I feel like I'm kind of, like,
negative.

And abrasive. Stop being negative. I
really just want her to find someone to

tell her she's pretty and make out with
her. So she will stop being crying about

Patrick. I had one experience on a
vacation trying to be single.

Montauk was... Yes! There were no... I
was like, this is what I have?

coming for me?

Don't you think I would love to meet
somebody and then it makes me not think

about Patrick ever again?

This is your f***ing problem and you
know this. He is the first person who

not given you a cheating piece of s***
reason to break up with him. But he was

bad boyfriend.

I'm used to people just being like,
boyfriend's an asshole. He does awful

to you. Like, that's how all the
relationships that I've been in.

I take what it means to have a
relationship with somebody else.

I'm trying to learn my lesson.

It's sad.

It's really sad.

You do deserve someone that you're
excited to be around all the time and

something so wishy -washy.

Yeah. Don't cry.

I'm depressed now.

I don't want to talk about anything now.

I just don't. Don't get in your head. It
just puts me in that depressed head

space and then all of a sudden I have to
take my psoriasis.

I know, I know.

I'm really hoping that this trip to New
Orleans is going to lift my spirits.

I really hope that that's going to help.

I'm excited. I've been wanting you to
take me to New Orleans for like...

Five, six years. Oh, I've been dying to
take all my friends. It's going to be so

cool. Yeah.

Welcome back to L .A. Thank you, Tom.
I'm going to grab some coffee. You guys

good? No, I'm good.

I'm good. I just started mine.

Just what I said yesterday, like, I know
I was like, it's hard because.

I knew that was going to happen. I'm
sorry about that, guys.

The AC and the microwave go at the same
time.

How old building?

Come on now.

There we go.

So you know what? That picture you have
on the wall over there? I have that same

picture on my desk at work.

Really? You and Raven.

My mom lives in Florida, so I really
only get to see my mom maybe once or

a year. Not only did I get my love of
horses from her, but I don't think I

inherited her quiet strength.

Except I'm not always that quiet.

We're going over to Sheena's later?
Sheena's mom's house. I'm just a little

worried because Schwartz and Katie had
dinner last night and got into it about

us. Katie actually texted us kind of
mean stuff. She did?

Yeah. She said, I'm tired of fighting
and defending myself against y 'all with

my fiance.

Jesus Christ, get over yourself.

We fight solely about him defending the
two of you. I'm very over it. The only

thing I've said about her lately is that
she's mad all the time. And I don't

know if it's just because she's stressed
out about planning her wedding. I mean,

it's coming up really fast.

I don't think she has cold feet about
the wedding.

What's going on?

Just trying to get everything ready for
tonight.

Yeah, so what's happening tonight? They
bought out the whole venue. Okay. All

night long. Yeah, so... Oh, I was
thinking that was somebody... I didn't

it was you. I was really excited for a
second. You know James is the DJ

Oh, yeah, but that's not at our
invitation. No, that was... That's

them. Because they asked him before all
the... Yeah.

It's kind of irritating for me because
I've let James go. However, the people

that have organised the Daily Mail party
requested him there because they loved

his music.

It kind of makes me a tiny bit nervous.

I hope the source doesn't let me down.

Hello. Oh, there he is. Hi, stranger.

Just talking about you. Good to see you.
Good to see you too. Hi, guys. Are you

ready for tonight?

Yeah. And you know the policy about
drinking or no drinking? Yep. Are we

of that? You swear to me.

Well, I want to thank you guys, too, for
giving me this opportunity tonight.

They asked for you. Right, that's really
cool. It's a big chance for you with

them. DJing this party, it's huge. And
seeing that they asked for me

specifically as well is even huger, you
know? Must be a pretty good DJ.

Get your shit together, because I
promise you, you let me down, I will

personally kick your ass.

Okay. No, it won't happen.

Thank you, Lisa.

Oh, it smells so good.

Things have been a little fiery lately
with the group. Katie and I got in a

fight. I have said I'm sorry. It was
tacky. It was cladless. I'm sorry.

Calm down.

No, sis.

Todd. But we did end up making up.

I just like being sitting on the table.
But did you love your little thing?

I love you, too.

I love you, okay?

We're good. Is that everybody be getting
here by now?

Um, I mean, you know my friends. You say
three, they show up at 4 .15.

Yeah. Since we're leaving for New
Orleans, what's a better way to cool off

get in the f***ing pool?

Hi! How you doing, dude? Good, I'm good.

Cute!

I got my little Prince of Leia's going
on here.

Party's here.

What's up, dude?

Hi, Britt.

How you doing? What the hell, dude?

What are you wearing? That's what you
wear when you're defeated.

Hey, my mom needs a muumuu back, dude.

I don't even know where to begin with
this thing. Not only that it's pink, I

feel like this is what retired people in
Florida wear. This is what you wear

when you've given up on life.

I got this muumuu in Hawaii, and
initially I thought it was kind of funny

liked it, but now it's become more of a
symbolic garment that I put on when I've

just given up on the day.

Hey, can we change the subject?

No!

Tom and Katie's relationship is kind of
like a stinky room. And instead of,

like, finding the source of stink, they
just for -breathe the situation and hope

it goes away.

Being the only one from LA, it's so much
fun to have all of my friends come to

my hometown.

Mom, where are the ping pong balls? Mom,
where are the balls?

I mean, we have beer pong in the pool.

Yeah!

We need more beer.

Tacos, bikinis, booze. This is how we do
it in Azusa.

Is that my dog?

He's like a wet noodle.

What's wrong?

Wait, you didn't tell me why you were
missing.

Going back to the whole bridal shower.

Yeah. I feel like Ariana made a choice
to really kind of put a damper on it

That is so beyond delusional for you to
even think or say.

It's my bridal shower. I don't need to
be upset about it.

That's why she wasn't asked to be a
bride.

Once again, like, we take Gary on his
side again.

I mean, I'm annoyed.

I've really tried not to be insecure
about this, but it's very frustrating

the man I'm going to marry puts another
woman's feelings above mine.

It's really hurtful, actually.

He should not be letting anyone, I don't
care who they are, get me down or make

me feel that, like... I really, of
course, I agree with you.

Do I need to be blonde?

Do I need to be skinnier? I don't know
what I need. Do I need to be cooler?

Get drunk with the guys. Be so cool.
Like, what do I got to do to get Tom to

respect me?

Thanks for a wrap.

Coming up. Gross.

You're like a little Jella.

Ew.

I'm gonna get tacos.

Did you, like, make a bunch of them?

How many?

Well, so everyone can just have one?

Can I have one, then? I'll get you a
taco.

Don't shake my booty.

I've been dying for this group to go to
New Orleans. Yeah.

It's gonna be so fun. I know. And I'm
excited for you. Like, you need this.

I do need this, but then I'm also
thinking I'm surrounded by nothing but

couples, so that's also kind of
depressing.

I'll be on do patrol.

Okay. Fun patrol and do patrol.

Yeah, that works.

I'll just be on drink patrol.

So I wanted to ask you, because I had no
idea what happened with Katie and Tom.

Is she okay?

She's upset. I thought Schwartz was
going to go over there and apologize and

make it better, but let's go ask Katie.

Do you want something?

What are you drinking? Vodka soda?

Sure.

She's still fired up from the night
before.

I can't talk to her. She can't talk to
me. I can't say you can't talk to her

when she's going to be awake.

She doesn't have the humility or the
wherewithal to call herself out. You

never talk about your young thing like
that. It's true.

I'm not talking shit. It's just true.

Katie's not perfect, but Schwartz is no
saint.

If Schwartz keeps talking shit about
Katie like this, homie's going to have

answer to me.

You don't want crazy Kristen coming out.

She's so defensive, she can't take any
criticism.

But do you not realize we're leaving for
the bachelor party in two days? Yeah, I

know. This is not good. But I'm used to
it, so it's not that bad either.

You're getting married, for God's sake.
You guys...

Can't even, like, stand the sight of
each other right now. Like, should this

even happening? You guys are getting
married. I know. I know. I'm well aware

that. So unless you're going to call
this shit off. No, we're not calling it

off. So you need to just figure out a
different way to deal with it. We've

tried. Shay and I, after last year,
we've decided. You've got to be like,

Stop. You have to kiss the person. And
you just have to hug them. She was a

man. I know. And it's awkward, as it
seems.

Think about it.

Kisses make everything better. I know
they don't. I don't know what world

living in. Getting marriage advice from
Sheena is like getting sobriety advice

from Shay.

Kind of pointless.

Just go over and give her a kiss. Say,
I'm sorry, Bubba. I love you. And I'll

stop fucking you for the rest of the
night. I'm scared.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Just go.

All right. See you, dude. Good luck.

Listen. I love Katie. I really, truly
do.

I feel like I've tried everything, you
know? I've done therapy.

I have her to marry me. I'm a man and a
moo -moo. What else do I have to lose?

I'm sorry, dude.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you
upset again.

Give me a kiss. I love you, and I'm
going to have fun.

Give me a kiss. I don't want to right
now. Katie, you need to let it go.

Yeah.

For getting you upset and, you know,
hurting your feelings with so many

special moments in your life approaching
fast.

So, hug it off.

I'm not going to high -five you.

Tom wants to charm his way out of this,
but there's more going on between us

than just him sticking up for Ariana,
and I don't think that a hug and a high

-five is really going to solve it. I
have limits, and when I reach those

I will explode.

I know, yeah, I know. It would be nice
that if from...

Here on out, especially with our back
-to -back track coming up, you do make

feelings a priority.

Okay. I should mean the most to you
right now. You do.

And my feelings. That's unequivocal. And
that's why I'm acting out right now.

You feel like that. I'm not getting that
from you right now. I know. Well, I'm

sorry. It's hurtful.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to fight with things
approaching.

I don't want to have to. I don't either.

Resolution, my friend.

We gotta get away.

To the festival play. Gotta get away.

Hey, we gotta get away.

Come on, let's celebrate.

We gotta get away.

We gotta get away.

My nice expensive luggage is destroyed.

So is the ceiling.

So everything is clean and ready to go.

Okay. We don't need to bring towels.

Yeah. What are hotels for? Just a couple
beach towels.

What beach are we going to? We're going
to a hotel.

We have towels at the hotel.

Whatever, Jack. I'm not bringing the
kitchen sink. You literally said when we

walked in that you wanted to bring...
No, I'm not bringing everything but the

kitchen sink.

All that laundry has to be done today.
Your tone is very annoying.

I'm going to smack you.

I always seem to be able to deal with
Jack's little hissy fits that he throws.

Why don't I tell your mother what I've
done for you since you've been here,

okay? Sitting on the couch for a year
while I take care of you.

No matter how much my feelings are hurt,
I can never get Jax to actually

apologize. I didn't just do all of this
laundry.

But come on, honey.

My dad always told me growing up that,
yes, everyone makes mistakes, but it

takes a real man to apologize.

You have one job.

Laundry. I know you did not just say
that.

Hey. Like my hat?

Mm -hmm.

Sexy, isn't it? I'm going to have to try
to figure out how to fit this in the

suitcase over here because this thing's
chock full of woman shit.

Schwartz suggested for one night of the
bachelor party, we should all dress in

drag. Oh, yeah.

I even quite fancy it myself.

Look, the butt pads came in.

Should we give them a whirl?

I'm going all the way. I want all the
best jewelry, the best makeup, the best

wig, the best outfit, the best shoes.

Yeah. I'm fucking doing this. Oh, yeah.

Oh, gross.

Are you jealous?

You're like a little jealous.

Ew.

I hate packing.

Did you want to bring your snorkel?

Did you find that in the bathtub?

Look what else I found. Oh, no.

This is Jax's best friend in Miami.

Jax! Ew!

Ew!

Don't hit me. I have stitches.

You should bring it. Of course I'm
bringing it. You should. I saved it for

next friend to get married so I could
dick slap him.

I really just hope the next, like, few
weeks, you know, they can really pull it

together. Yeah. I can't imagine if a few
weeks leading up to our wedding, like,

we were just going at each other that
much. Like, I don't know what, like, I

would have done.

I mean, no relationship's perfect,
especially our group of friends.

We'll figure it out. That's not up to
us. We can just kind of be there. Yeah.

No, absolutely.

I want them to just be, like, the
happiest they've ever been in their

the next few weeks. I never plan on
having another wedding again. It's like,

know, that's your one time.

Yeah.

I like it. We'll rock this at the pool.

Doesn't just the air feel fresher when
you're not fighting?

Take it in.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm glad that we talked, and I think we
should, like, have some vows that we can

make to each other.

Yeah. For the trip.

Yeah. Like, I promise not to raid sex.

Okay, what do you vow?

I would say I vow to have your back, but
that's not going to be an issue,

because we're going to be getting along
the whole time. No, but if... Yes, I

will have your back.

This is the next chapter. We're going to
leave all that sh... Behind us, I'm

going into this trip feeling really,
really good about things.

Well, look, we're a united front from
here on out.

No matter what happens, we're
unflappable. Even if, like, chaos erupts

everyone starts fighting, we're going to
be sitting there smiling and sipping on

our drinks.

Whatever happens, we don't turn down
each other.

All right, D.

Vamonos. For New Orleans, here we come.

Coming up. I just got some beads.

I can't believe I had to show my
butthole.

Oh.

Yeah!

The next probably hour to two hours I'll
be sober, but after that, it's all

downhill. This is the last time you see
me. Somewhat frustrated.

Be me.

You're welcome.

Hi. Can we have to earn them?

I'll show them.

Welcome in, ladies.

You have reservations with us?

Yes. It's under Schwartz or Maloney.

Schwartz or Maloney.

We're going to do a little anniversary
dinner now so we can meet up with y

Okay. All right.

I'll see you guys in a little bit.

Love you all.

Today's our second wedding anniversary.

And although I'm aware we're going on a
bachelor, bachelorette trip, not for me,

we just got to do a little something for
us today.

Hi. How you doing? Welcome in.

What's the last name on your
reservation?

Taylor. All right, Mr. Taylor.

We were unable to obtain authorization
on your card.

Do you have another method of payment
that you would like to use? Every time.

Here, here's this one.

All right, thank you.

This has been a reoccurring thing.

Oh, my God, Jax, your card has declined.

That can't be right.

Every time I go to them, I shut it off
because I spend so much money. Sometimes

it happens.

Sweet.

Sexy sweet.

Sexy sweet.

Cute.

I can't believe I've gone this long in
my life without ever going to New

Orleans. Oh my gosh, this is awesome.

Wow.

We got a view.

Nice. Oh, it's really nice.

Perfect.

I like you. Pretty.

Hello, you want to kiss me?

This isn't exactly the homecoming I had
in my head.

I'm watching all of my friends grow up
and make these big commitments.

I feel like everybody's expecting me to
be the life of the party.

But I'm still hurting from the breakup.

So it's kind of difficult.

Hello? Yes. I was wondering if I could
order room service.

It's all going to be going to room 2203.

I'm here now. Let's favor the moment.
Let's relish in the moment. Watch this.

Do I taste like strippers? Not yet.

Give me a few hours.

Ew. I'm taking my shoes off. I'm sweaty.

Really, dude?

Let's crack a beer or like some
champagne. Wait, did it leave something

like a note or something? I thought a
champagne bottle.

Let me see.

I knew it.

It's a date card. Let me read it. She
said it's a meme.

It says, Katie and Tom, the room is on
me, but only on the condition that you

make good use of the bathroom.

The bubbly is to help break the ice.

I'm so grateful. Lisa hooked us up with
a really nice sweet.

And, I mean, it is, it's falling.

And I'm so excited about this. Also, I'm
thinking, man, what if we trash it?

We probably will trash it.

Want to drink it out of the bottle? No.
It's a bachelor bachelorette party.

No.

Katie doesn't really want all the
bachelorette -y stuff, but I had to get

boy.

Look, it's got the indentions.

The inflatable peanut.

It's for you, boy.

Look at this. Jesus.

Look how big those balls are.

Oh, look at that.

Uh -oh.

Let me in. This is the couple queen.

Let me in. Let me in. Come on in.

Oh, my God.

I'll get you a glass of champagne.

Oh, I ordered you guys food. You did?
Yeah, I ordered it here.

I also ordered my food to come here,
too.

I'm so excited.

I know. Look at the view. You're back.
Oh, my God. I keep forgetting you're

in your hometown.

It is so weird having you guys here
right now. I feel like all my worlds are

colliding. Can you guys make me one
promise?

What? Okay. You show your boobs to these
one time.

I mean, showing my boob.

That's like hood rat.

Just one. I still have too many breast
reduction scars. I don't think I'm ready

for it yet.

You know how it's made.

I think he's telling some, like, eight
-year -old kid that he's like, all

lady.

Hey, guys.

Guys, look. I used to do this as a job.

This is so nice.

This is nice.

We should call her and... We call her
now before we're all hammered. Yeah.

Are you?

Good little ponies. Worthy of a biscuit?

Okay.

Rosé? No. Finish what's in your mouth
first.

No more biscuit. Have a drinky.

Hello? Hi, Lisa. It's Katie.

Hi, Lisa. It's Tom.

And Stassi, too.

Hi, Lisa. What are you doing there,
Stassi? They're supposed to be having a

romantic moment. Get out of there.

She's our third wheel.

How's the room?

Thank you so, so much. You didn't have
to do that. You went above and beyond.

means the world to us.

Of course I had to do that. I wanted to
do that.

And thank you so much for the champagne,
too.

Oh, listen, you're welcome. You guys
mean the world to me. And this is the

for you guys to enjoy yourselves and
celebrate before the hard work begins.

Trust me, I've done 35 years of it.

Don't get scared, Schwartzy.

What do you mean by hard work?

We'll talk about it later.

I didn't have a bachelorette party
because Ken was so naughty.

If I'm really honest, and I don't like
to admit this, I didn't want him to have

a bachelor party because I knew if he
had a bachelor party, we'd probably end

not getting married.

Anyway, guys, I've got to get back to my
friends.

Thank you, Lisa. We really appreciate
it. We miss you.

All right. Bye, darling.

This is awesome.

Sassy, is this your home turf?

It's my home turf.

Bourbon Street is an amazing street
where anything goes.

Is this where the girls show their
boobs?

Yeah.

Everybody's just so lively and fun.

It's just a really good time.

Yeah, I just got some beads.

I can't believe I had to show my
butthole.

It feels very festive and lively, and
it's the best welcoming first night out.

The first time I ever got drunk was when
I went to prom and I took my best

friend and he took me to Bourbon Street
and fed me

every single shot to the point where I
just puked everywhere in public, like

over the place.

Police had to escort me back to the limo
that my dad had rented for us.

So there's that.

We'll get drunk.

Coming up.

We're going to New Orleans to have all
of our issues thrown in my face. No, I'm

not going to New Orleans. I'm going to
go try my fun. Mama, come back.

Where are we going?

We're going to my favorite bar.

Look at that.

It's so cute.

Girls on this side, guys on this side.

I did have my concerns about it being a
joint bachelor, bachelorette party.

But now that we're here and we're on
Bourbon Street, I'm like, this is going

be awesome. I went and ordered all these
for the girls.

They're shot glasses. Wait, you can put
a shot in here?

We have beverages.

We have beverages.

Oh, yes.

Cheers, guys. Happy bachelor party.

Yes. Thank you.

Hey, you know what? I need to take the
sweatshirt off. It's getting a little

hot, you know? Oh, no. Yeah, it's
uncomfortable. I need to take this thing

real quick.

Whoa.

For a long time, I was Tom No. 1, but as
I've grown to know you, I feel

like I have become Tom No. 2.

This is the real Tom No. 1 shirt.

Put it on.

You know that Kelly Clarkson song, some
people wait a lifetime for a moment like

this?

I love you, man. I love you, too.

This is the moment I've been waiting a
lifetime for.

Hi, guys. Hi. I'm going to take you to
your table. Thank you. Right this way.

Can I get you guys anything to drink?
Water's fine, yeah. Thank you so much.

Shay's been sober for eight months now,
and I'm really happy and proud to be

celebrating the second anniversary with
Shay.

All righty.

Whoa. Damn.

This boudoir book is the perfect second
anniversary gift.

Whoa. I mean, he loves when I dress up
in lingerie.

Wow, these are incredible.

He's probably going to want to go
straight back to our hotel room.

Hey, thank you so much. Yeah. I love it.

Like a year ago, I wouldn't have thought
we'd already be in this place.

Our first year of marriage was very
difficult. How many were you taking a

Probably like five.

Wow. Why did you marry me? Why?

It's like whenever I get, like, annoyed
that you're at the studio late, I just

think I'm like, okay, would I rather him
be, like, drunk at a bar or being an

asshole or, like, unhappy? I'm like,
he's in his happy place, working on

Yeah. Staying sober. Like, it takes a
lifetime to accomplish what you have in

year. The main reason why I got to where
I was is because of you.

Aww. You never stopped loving me and
more in love with you than I ever have

in my entire life.

Losing you is the worst thing that could
ever happen to me.

Ditto. I love you. I love you.

Give me a kiss.

Yeah?

Marriage is work. It's not like you can
just break up and move out.

I'm very proud of us for as far as we've
come.

I can't wait to spend the rest of my
life with you.

And I don't care if they say it's bad
luck or cheers with waters.

Cheers to you.

Cheers to you. I'm so proud of you. I
love you. I love you.

This looks like a hangover waiting to
happen. What the hell is it? It's a

hurricane, and you're in New Orleans.

Is it Hurricane Tomcat?

It's Hurricane Tomcat.

Wow. We're cocky, babe?

Yeah!

Yay!

Yay! Come on, man.

There he is.

Do you feel like you have to go in
between both tables? When there's a lull

their conversation, I'm like, all right,
I'm going to go in there. I mean, of

course Ariana has to do something
alternative.

Do you guys want to do a seance?

She's not just a groomsman. We love you.

Ariana, get in there.

She's able to balance that with being
like a makeshift bridesmaid. Does

want some Jaeger?

But then, I'm so not surprised.

Oh, are these shots?

Let's put it.

Oh my God, there's like lipstick on
this.

It's one of our friends, I think.

I think.

What if it's not? Ew.

How's it going?

Good. Everything goes by so fast.

This whole summer is just blown by.

It's crazy.

You guys have literally pulled this
wedding together and everything so fast.

I've been losing my mind.

90 % of the reason why Tom and I fight
is because of tension or hurt feelings

between our friend and us.

You know, what had happened at my bridal
shower, Aaron having, like, unwavering

loyalty and Lala, like, really?

Like, it's just, like, so inappropriate.

The reality is, when Lala first came to
serve... No, sorry, I'm going to cut you

off there. Not listening to that.

You didn't confront her about her trips
or anything? Or, like, how many blowjobs

she has to give? You didn't like her
either when she started. So why is it

coming down on me?

Look, my biggest concern, Katie, I feel
like you and Schwartz have argued a lot

about... And I feel like there's
something deeper underneath.

There's nothing deep -rooted.

I mean, I know that a lot of your
arguments...

tend to fall during a time where either
or both of you have been drinking.

Usually both.

Like, it's so easy for her to downplay
when we do go into those insane fights

because a lot of times she doesn't
remember a lot of it. I think that's a

thing to hear.

The wedding is literally three weeks
away.

As of today.

Like, what if you guys just meet with
somebody who is just completely

and just talk, just talk.

some of these little f***ing things out.
I'm just saying to, like, think that,

like, what, like, before you guys walk
in, like, make sure you want to do this.

This is my bachelorette party. I should
be just dancing and laughing and having

drinks and not be talking about my
relationship with Dr.

Tom Sandoval.

When do we get to have fun?

We are having fun. I haven't had fun
in...

Yeah, you have. Have fun? What's wrong?

Tom thinks we should go to therapy.

How about it? Well, I didn't come here.

How about it? It's okay. I didn't come
all the way to New Orleans to have all

our issues thrown in my face. No, I'm
not going to.

No, I don't want to. I don't want to
talk to you. I love you. I'm going to go

have a chat with him.

But I'm... Bubba, come back. Bubba, it's
okay.

Coming up.

I was an asshole. I was a cheater. I was
a liar. I was a stealer.

So, how was everything tonight? How many
people did we have? Pretty good.

240.

Okay, good.

Oh, perfect.

How are you?

Do you have a reservation?

Because we're booked up.

Okay, I'm just coming to say hi to Lisa.

Can I see you outside for a moment?

Okay, I've got a couple of minutes.

All right, perfect.

Your hostess seems very lovely, very
polite. I wonder how she is to

Well, I don't think she sleeps with all
our customers. I didn't sleep with her.

Do you want to start a problem with me
because you hooked up with me? No, I

didn't hook up with you.

Ever. No, Lisa, I wasn't smashing with
smitty troll fakes, okay?

I didn't know trolls worked at the...
Anyway, what can I do you for?

I'm just checking in with you.

I just wanted to come talk to you about
the other night, the Daily Mail party.

It went really well. I didn't drink the
whole night, killed my DJ set. James

Kennedy, the white Kanye West, is back.
Forget what you heard and remember where

you heard it first.

Felt really good about the other night
and everything really seems to be coming

a little bit together for me.

Is there? How many nights a week are you
working?

Honestly, Friday still opens me,
Wednesday still opens me, Monday,

off, Sunday I'm off.

So you're only working two nights a
week?

So what are you doing the rest of the
time?

I would honestly just love to work here
on Wednesdays again.

I just can't do that right now.

Do you think I could, like, maybe work
at Pump on a Friday? No, no, no, no.

What part of no don't you understand?
No. No.

James may look at this like a one -night
audition to gain back his full -time

residency at Sir and Pump, but to me,
this is just honouring a commitment.

So what am I supposed to think?

You know, if you show me you're sober
for a year, you show me that you're

an excellent job.

Well, I could say, you know, you're
never coming back. Right. Which is

what my intention was.

All right, well, I don't want to take up
too much of your time. You know, it's

very precious. I've taken up a lot of my
time in the past, James. Yeah.

All right, then. All right, I'll see you
later.

Say hi to Max for me. I think I might
see him later tonight. Say hello to Max

yourself. Bye, Lisa. Thank you. Bye,
James.

Wait, no.

What was that one? I have no idea. That
was vodka. Love it. Thank you.

This makes me happy.

Having everybody in my hometown and my
favorite bar. You'd be able to forget

other things.

I was going

to feel really

sad.

Here, because I'm the only one not in a
relationship.

There's no giving kisses to your
boyfriend right now when you're talking

somebody that's going through a breakup.

Oh, I'm sorry. So, like, put that kiss
thing away.

Guys, I'm talking to Saucy about
stealing stuff.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I'm a little drunk.

I know you're drunk. It's okay. You came
over here.

and gave Brittany kissy faces when you
knew I'm going through a breakup and I

don't need, like, everybody being couple
-y right in front of my face. I just

want to help.

Please help. Then help me.

What you're going through right now, I'm
sorry.

Whatever. Yeah, it's been fun.

I just don't understand why he could
never be in the picture. Why would he

be there for you? What was the issue?

He didn't like Jax or something?

I mean... Jax? Yeah. It's years ago.

You were never in the card for him to
be, like, he was not going to be around

you if you made a bunch of mistakes.

Jack has done the worst thing that you
could do to someone, to me.

And Patrick knows everything.

Where'd you sleep last night?

What do you think?

You spent the last year professing I'm
the only one for you while you were

banging on my closest friend, Kristen.

What did I ever do to you to deserve
this? What did I do?

Patrick never wanted to come to group
events because he didn't want to run

Jack. He didn't want to have to go and
shake his hand.

So we just kept our lives separate.

But that kind of drew a wedge between me
and Patrick because I felt like I was

leading two different lives.

If a man loves you, he's using that as a
cop -out. Oh, God.

All right. That's so stupid.

It is not stupid.

You know what? It would make me feel so
much better if you just looked at me and

you said, I'm very sorry.

Like, that would mean everything to me.
This is bad. This is the show race.

Wow.

Be more selfish.

Don't roll your eyes. I'm not rolling my
eyes. You don't get it.

You don't get it. I don't get it. You
don't get it.

You don't get it. I don't get it. No,
you don't get it. What is there to say?

Sorry is what I want to hear you say.

Jack, you could release yourself. You
could release anything that you... You

could just say, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I was a different person
then. I was a piece of shit. I was an

asshole. I was a cheater. I was a liar.
I was a stealer. I was everything that

nobody should want to be around.

I'm sorry to you, Stassi. I apologize.

I've done so much stupid, stupid shit in
my life. I was a piece of shit.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I did a lot of bad things.

I'm sorry.

Really, thank you. Thank you for saying
that. Thank you.

To finally hear him be remorseful, admit
this guilt, and look me in the eye and

apologize, it's so vindicating.

I'll leave you guys alone for a second.

No, no, no. No, no, no. It's okay. No,
no. It's okay. I need a break from that.

I'm sorry that I hurt so many other
people before I met you.

We're crying because you upset other
people, but yeah, you upset me.

And you've never had this reaction.

I can't help but be a little bit jealous
right now because Jack couldn't

apologize to me for fighting in Sonoma.

I'm supporting your lifestyle.

He didn't apologize for the dick pic.
They're using your penis as a poster.

You gotta really pick and choose your
battles.

It's not okay.

You're like crying.

Well, listen, I don't want to bet my
life. Yes, I've upset people. You've

me feel like shit a couple times. You've
made me feel like shit a couple times.

When? Oh, my gosh. When?

Your attitude.

When? A lot of times.

Name it.

All right.

It's bigger than that. This is hurting
people.

Exactly. It's hurting people.

Time on Vanderpump Rules.

Oh, my goodness!

Hey, Katie!

Don't stop, Gray. Tom and Katie's room.
Well, hopefully he's not sleeping on the

couch. Like Katie Maloney would say,
don't discount my feelings. Don't pick a

fight with me. You don't remember
because you were too droll. No, I

It's so very deep down. And now she has
kicked off about every little thing.

Like, he has to do this before the
wedding. He has to. You don't want to

the rest of your life like this.

Whether you love her or not.

We're just getting started, babe.

Can you guys tell me where is my penis?

It's not there.

You see it. You can play around with it
for a while, but I need it back.

Guys, back off. I want you and Peter to
be on the best page ever. Please.

We'll roast your ass. It doesn't concern
you.

Are you serious?

Captain, that'd be cool.

Yes, I made out with that shirt. And you
didn't fuck her, right?

I did not.

I'm done with her. I'm done with Katie.

I'm not marrying her.

I'm not.