Original subtitles

Previously on Vanderpump Rules.

We can talk about the bachelorette party.

I feel like it would be really fun to do New Orleans.

I will know exactly where to take you guys.

I'm going to have an awesome groomsman squad. Where do you want me to go?

Wherever we go.

I did take what I had for granted and I f***ed it up. You were an arrogant

little punk.

She drinks and then she's mean and sends me all of these mean messages only when

she drinks.

A lot of people feel that you're fake a lot of times. And why the f***? Are you

friends with me if I'm fake? I don't agree with what Lala said. But honestly,

I'm not going to sit here and lay down in front of a truck because of some dumb

shit she said.

Lala, you've known for about five minutes.

You've known me for how long?

You've said stuff about her too, though.

Really?

I did not ask Ariana to be a prize queen for a f***ing reason.

She is a self -entitled, elitist, like, suck -up person.

That's called being emotionally mature.

Alright. Are you drunk?

Dude, I cannot believe you're doing this to me right now.

Let's go.

Come on.

Hello. Hi, Luna.

Hi. Hello.

It's so hot outside.

I know. And guess what? It's about to get even hotter.

Well, it's more humid. Yeah, humid.

Are you bringing any heels?

I'm probably going to bring one pair of heels, but...

I feel stressed. I feel like it's my f***ing wedding. I swear to God I feel

it's my f***ing wedding because I feel stressed that things aren't going to be

fun or, like, is the bachelorette party going to be good? Is she going to be,

like, so disappointed with, like, places that I choose? I mean, it was really

hard. Like, I didn't have Katie as a friend for a year because I kind of

up. It's so much pressure. I have nightmares about Katie being

me. And now, basically, I'm in charge to make sure Katie has the best

bachelorette party ever.

This is a chance for me to do things differently.

Better. I haven't worn this shirt yet. That's super cute.

It's fun and flirty, just like you.

But I'm not flirty. But you have to, like, stop convincing yourself that

not. I feel like I'm kind of, like, negative.

And abrasive. Stop being negative. I really just want her to find someone to

tell her she's pretty and make out with her. So she will stop being crying about

Patrick. I had one experience on a vacation trying to be single.

Montauk was... Yes! There were no... I was like, this is what I have?

coming for me?

Don't you think I would love to meet somebody and then it makes me not think

about Patrick ever again?

This is your f***ing problem and you know this. He is the first person who

not given you a cheating piece of s*** reason to break up with him. But he was

bad boyfriend.

I'm used to people just being like, boyfriend's an asshole. He does awful

to you. Like, that's how all the relationships that I've been in.

I take what it means to have a relationship with somebody else.

I'm trying to learn my lesson.

It's sad.

It's really sad.

You do deserve someone that you're excited to be around all the time and

something so wishy -washy.

Yeah. Don't cry.

I'm depressed now.

I don't want to talk about anything now.

I just don't. Don't get in your head. It just puts me in that depressed head

space and then all of a sudden I have to take my psoriasis.

I know, I know.

I'm really hoping that this trip to New Orleans is going to lift my spirits.

I really hope that that's going to help.

I'm excited. I've been wanting you to take me to New Orleans for like...

Five, six years. Oh, I've been dying to take all my friends. It's going to be so

cool. Yeah.

Welcome back to L .A. Thank you, Tom. I'm going to grab some coffee. You guys

good? No, I'm good.

I'm good. I just started mine.

Just what I said yesterday, like, I know I was like, it's hard because.

I knew that was going to happen. I'm sorry about that, guys.

The AC and the microwave go at the same time.

How old building?

Come on now.

There we go.

So you know what? That picture you have on the wall over there? I have that same

picture on my desk at work.

Really? You and Raven.

My mom lives in Florida, so I really only get to see my mom maybe once or

a year. Not only did I get my love of horses from her, but I don't think I

inherited her quiet strength.

Except I'm not always that quiet.

We're going over to Sheena's later? Sheena's mom's house. I'm just a little

worried because Schwartz and Katie had dinner last night and got into it about

us. Katie actually texted us kind of mean stuff. She did?

Yeah. She said, I'm tired of fighting and defending myself against y 'all with

my fiance.

Jesus Christ, get over yourself.

We fight solely about him defending the two of you. I'm very over it. The only

thing I've said about her lately is that she's mad all the time. And I don't

know if it's just because she's stressed out about planning her wedding. I mean,

it's coming up really fast.

I don't think she has cold feet about the wedding.

What's going on?

Just trying to get everything ready for tonight.

Yeah, so what's happening tonight? They bought out the whole venue. Okay. All

night long. Yeah, so... Oh, I was thinking that was somebody... I didn't

it was you. I was really excited for a second. You know James is the DJ

Oh, yeah, but that's not at our invitation. No, that was... That's

them. Because they asked him before all the... Yeah.

It's kind of irritating for me because I've let James go. However, the people

that have organised the Daily Mail party requested him there because they loved

his music.

It kind of makes me a tiny bit nervous.

I hope the source doesn't let me down.

Hello. Oh, there he is. Hi, stranger.

Just talking about you. Good to see you. Good to see you too. Hi, guys. Are you

ready for tonight?

Yeah. And you know the policy about drinking or no drinking? Yep. Are we

of that? You swear to me.

Well, I want to thank you guys, too, for giving me this opportunity tonight.

They asked for you. Right, that's really cool. It's a big chance for you with

them. DJing this party, it's huge. And seeing that they asked for me

specifically as well is even huger, you know? Must be a pretty good DJ.

Get your shit together, because I promise you, you let me down, I will

personally kick your ass.

Okay. No, it won't happen.

Thank you, Lisa.

Oh, it smells so good.

Things have been a little fiery lately with the group. Katie and I got in a

fight. I have said I'm sorry. It was tacky. It was cladless. I'm sorry.

Calm down.

No, sis.

Todd. But we did end up making up.

I just like being sitting on the table. But did you love your little thing?

I love you, too.

I love you, okay?

We're good. Is that everybody be getting here by now?

Um, I mean, you know my friends. You say three, they show up at 4 .15.

Yeah. Since we're leaving for New Orleans, what's a better way to cool off

get in the f***ing pool?

Hi! How you doing, dude? Good, I'm good.

Cute!

I got my little Prince of Leia's going on here.

Party's here.

What's up, dude?

Hi, Britt.

How you doing? What the hell, dude?

What are you wearing? That's what you wear when you're defeated.

Hey, my mom needs a muumuu back, dude.

I don't even know where to begin with this thing. Not only that it's pink, I

feel like this is what retired people in Florida wear. This is what you wear

when you've given up on life.

I got this muumuu in Hawaii, and initially I thought it was kind of funny

liked it, but now it's become more of a symbolic garment that I put on when I've

just given up on the day.

Hey, can we change the subject?

No!

Tom and Katie's relationship is kind of like a stinky room. And instead of,

like, finding the source of stink, they just for -breathe the situation and hope

it goes away.

Being the only one from LA, it's so much fun to have all of my friends come to

my hometown.

Mom, where are the ping pong balls? Mom, where are the balls?

I mean, we have beer pong in the pool.

Yeah!

We need more beer.

Tacos, bikinis, booze. This is how we do it in Azusa.

Is that my dog?

He's like a wet noodle.

What's wrong?

Wait, you didn't tell me why you were missing.

Going back to the whole bridal shower.

Yeah. I feel like Ariana made a choice to really kind of put a damper on it

That is so beyond delusional for you to even think or say.

It's my bridal shower. I don't need to be upset about it.

That's why she wasn't asked to be a bride.

Once again, like, we take Gary on his side again.

I mean, I'm annoyed.

I've really tried not to be insecure about this, but it's very frustrating

the man I'm going to marry puts another woman's feelings above mine.

It's really hurtful, actually.

He should not be letting anyone, I don't care who they are, get me down or make

me feel that, like... I really, of course, I agree with you.

Do I need to be blonde?

Do I need to be skinnier? I don't know what I need. Do I need to be cooler?

Get drunk with the guys. Be so cool. Like, what do I got to do to get Tom to

respect me?

Thanks for a wrap.

Coming up. Gross.

You're like a little Jella.

Ew.

I'm gonna get tacos.

Did you, like, make a bunch of them?

How many?

Well, so everyone can just have one?

Can I have one, then? I'll get you a taco.

Don't shake my booty.

I've been dying for this group to go to New Orleans. Yeah.

It's gonna be so fun. I know. And I'm excited for you. Like, you need this.

I do need this, but then I'm also thinking I'm surrounded by nothing but

couples, so that's also kind of depressing.

I'll be on do patrol.

Okay. Fun patrol and do patrol.

Yeah, that works.

I'll just be on drink patrol.

So I wanted to ask you, because I had no idea what happened with Katie and Tom.

Is she okay?

She's upset. I thought Schwartz was going to go over there and apologize and

make it better, but let's go ask Katie.

Do you want something?

What are you drinking? Vodka soda?

Sure.

She's still fired up from the night before.

I can't talk to her. She can't talk to me. I can't say you can't talk to her

when she's going to be awake.

She doesn't have the humility or the wherewithal to call herself out. You

never talk about your young thing like that. It's true.

I'm not talking shit. It's just true.

Katie's not perfect, but Schwartz is no saint.

If Schwartz keeps talking shit about Katie like this, homie's going to have

answer to me.

You don't want crazy Kristen coming out.

She's so defensive, she can't take any criticism.

But do you not realize we're leaving for the bachelor party in two days? Yeah, I

know. This is not good. But I'm used to it, so it's not that bad either.

You're getting married, for God's sake. You guys...

Can't even, like, stand the sight of each other right now. Like, should this

even happening? You guys are getting married. I know. I know. I'm well aware

that. So unless you're going to call this shit off. No, we're not calling it

off. So you need to just figure out a different way to deal with it. We've

tried. Shay and I, after last year, we've decided. You've got to be like,

Stop. You have to kiss the person. And you just have to hug them. She was a

man. I know. And it's awkward, as it seems.

Think about it.

Kisses make everything better. I know they don't. I don't know what world

living in. Getting marriage advice from Sheena is like getting sobriety advice

from Shay.

Kind of pointless.

Just go over and give her a kiss. Say, I'm sorry, Bubba. I love you. And I'll

stop fucking you for the rest of the night. I'm scared.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Just go.

All right. See you, dude. Good luck.

Listen. I love Katie. I really, truly do.

I feel like I've tried everything, you know? I've done therapy.

I have her to marry me. I'm a man and a moo -moo. What else do I have to lose?

I'm sorry, dude.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you upset again.

Give me a kiss. I love you, and I'm going to have fun.

Give me a kiss. I don't want to right now. Katie, you need to let it go.

Yeah.

For getting you upset and, you know, hurting your feelings with so many

special moments in your life approaching fast.

So, hug it off.

I'm not going to high -five you.

Tom wants to charm his way out of this, but there's more going on between us

than just him sticking up for Ariana, and I don't think that a hug and a high

-five is really going to solve it. I have limits, and when I reach those

I will explode.

I know, yeah, I know. It would be nice that if from...

Here on out, especially with our back -to -back track coming up, you do make

feelings a priority.

Okay. I should mean the most to you right now. You do.

And my feelings. That's unequivocal. And that's why I'm acting out right now.

You feel like that. I'm not getting that from you right now. I know. Well, I'm

sorry. It's hurtful.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to fight with things approaching.

I don't want to have to. I don't either.

Resolution, my friend.

We gotta get away.

To the festival play. Gotta get away.

Hey, we gotta get away.

Come on, let's celebrate.

We gotta get away.

We gotta get away.

My nice expensive luggage is destroyed.

So is the ceiling.

So everything is clean and ready to go.

Okay. We don't need to bring towels.

Yeah. What are hotels for? Just a couple beach towels.

What beach are we going to? We're going to a hotel.

We have towels at the hotel.

Whatever, Jack. I'm not bringing the kitchen sink. You literally said when we

walked in that you wanted to bring... No, I'm not bringing everything but the

kitchen sink.

All that laundry has to be done today. Your tone is very annoying.

I'm going to smack you.

I always seem to be able to deal with Jack's little hissy fits that he throws.

Why don't I tell your mother what I've done for you since you've been here,

okay? Sitting on the couch for a year while I take care of you.

No matter how much my feelings are hurt, I can never get Jax to actually

apologize. I didn't just do all of this laundry.

But come on, honey.

My dad always told me growing up that, yes, everyone makes mistakes, but it

takes a real man to apologize.

You have one job.

Laundry. I know you did not just say that.

Hey. Like my hat?

Mm -hmm.

Sexy, isn't it? I'm going to have to try to figure out how to fit this in the

suitcase over here because this thing's chock full of woman shit.

Schwartz suggested for one night of the bachelor party, we should all dress in

drag. Oh, yeah.

I even quite fancy it myself.

Look, the butt pads came in.

Should we give them a whirl?

I'm going all the way. I want all the best jewelry, the best makeup, the best

wig, the best outfit, the best shoes.

Yeah. I'm fucking doing this. Oh, yeah.

Oh, gross.

Are you jealous?

You're like a little jealous.

Ew.

I hate packing.

Did you want to bring your snorkel?

Did you find that in the bathtub?

Look what else I found. Oh, no.

This is Jax's best friend in Miami.

Jax! Ew!

Ew!

Don't hit me. I have stitches.

You should bring it. Of course I'm bringing it. You should. I saved it for

next friend to get married so I could dick slap him.

I really just hope the next, like, few weeks, you know, they can really pull it

together. Yeah. I can't imagine if a few weeks leading up to our wedding, like,

we were just going at each other that much. Like, I don't know what, like, I

would have done.

I mean, no relationship's perfect, especially our group of friends.

We'll figure it out. That's not up to us. We can just kind of be there. Yeah.

No, absolutely.

I want them to just be, like, the happiest they've ever been in their

the next few weeks. I never plan on having another wedding again. It's like,

know, that's your one time.

Yeah.

I like it. We'll rock this at the pool.

Doesn't just the air feel fresher when you're not fighting?

Take it in.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm glad that we talked, and I think we should, like, have some vows that we can

make to each other.

Yeah. For the trip.

Yeah. Like, I promise not to raid sex.

Okay, what do you vow?

I would say I vow to have your back, but that's not going to be an issue,

because we're going to be getting along the whole time. No, but if... Yes, I

will have your back.

This is the next chapter. We're going to leave all that sh... Behind us, I'm

going into this trip feeling really, really good about things.

Well, look, we're a united front from here on out.

No matter what happens, we're unflappable. Even if, like, chaos erupts

everyone starts fighting, we're going to be sitting there smiling and sipping on

our drinks.

Whatever happens, we don't turn down each other.

All right, D.

Vamonos. For New Orleans, here we come.

Coming up. I just got some beads.

I can't believe I had to show my butthole.

Oh.

Yeah!

The next probably hour to two hours I'll be sober, but after that, it's all

downhill. This is the last time you see me. Somewhat frustrated.

Be me.

You're welcome.

Hi. Can we have to earn them?

I'll show them.

Welcome in, ladies.

You have reservations with us?

Yes. It's under Schwartz or Maloney.

Schwartz or Maloney.

We're going to do a little anniversary dinner now so we can meet up with y

Okay. All right.

I'll see you guys in a little bit.

Love you all.

Today's our second wedding anniversary.

And although I'm aware we're going on a bachelor, bachelorette trip, not for me,

we just got to do a little something for us today.

Hi. How you doing? Welcome in.

What's the last name on your reservation?

Taylor. All right, Mr. Taylor.

We were unable to obtain authorization on your card.

Do you have another method of payment that you would like to use? Every time.

Here, here's this one.

All right, thank you.

This has been a reoccurring thing.

Oh, my God, Jax, your card has declined.

That can't be right.

Every time I go to them, I shut it off because I spend so much money. Sometimes

it happens.

Sweet.

Sexy sweet.

Sexy sweet.

Cute.

I can't believe I've gone this long in my life without ever going to New

Orleans. Oh my gosh, this is awesome.

Wow.

We got a view.

Nice. Oh, it's really nice.

Perfect.

I like you. Pretty.

Hello, you want to kiss me?

This isn't exactly the homecoming I had in my head.

I'm watching all of my friends grow up and make these big commitments.

I feel like everybody's expecting me to be the life of the party.

But I'm still hurting from the breakup.

So it's kind of difficult.

Hello? Yes. I was wondering if I could order room service.

It's all going to be going to room 2203.

I'm here now. Let's favor the moment. Let's relish in the moment. Watch this.

Do I taste like strippers? Not yet.

Give me a few hours.

Ew. I'm taking my shoes off. I'm sweaty.

Really, dude?

Let's crack a beer or like some champagne. Wait, did it leave something

like a note or something? I thought a champagne bottle.

Let me see.

I knew it.

It's a date card. Let me read it. She said it's a meme.

It says, Katie and Tom, the room is on me, but only on the condition that you

make good use of the bathroom.

The bubbly is to help break the ice.

I'm so grateful. Lisa hooked us up with a really nice sweet.

And, I mean, it is, it's falling.

And I'm so excited about this. Also, I'm thinking, man, what if we trash it?

We probably will trash it.

Want to drink it out of the bottle? No. It's a bachelor bachelorette party.

No.

Katie doesn't really want all the bachelorette -y stuff, but I had to get

boy.

Look, it's got the indentions.

The inflatable peanut.

It's for you, boy.

Look at this. Jesus.

Look how big those balls are.

Oh, look at that.

Uh -oh.

Let me in. This is the couple queen.

Let me in. Let me in. Come on in.

Oh, my God.

I'll get you a glass of champagne.

Oh, I ordered you guys food. You did? Yeah, I ordered it here.

I also ordered my food to come here, too.

I'm so excited.

I know. Look at the view. You're back. Oh, my God. I keep forgetting you're

in your hometown.

It is so weird having you guys here right now. I feel like all my worlds are

colliding. Can you guys make me one promise?

What? Okay. You show your boobs to these one time.

I mean, showing my boob.

That's like hood rat.

Just one. I still have too many breast reduction scars. I don't think I'm ready

for it yet.

You know how it's made.

I think he's telling some, like, eight -year -old kid that he's like, all

lady.

Hey, guys.

Guys, look. I used to do this as a job.

This is so nice.

This is nice.

We should call her and... We call her now before we're all hammered. Yeah.

Are you?

Good little ponies. Worthy of a biscuit?

Okay.

Rosé? No. Finish what's in your mouth first.

No more biscuit. Have a drinky.

Hello? Hi, Lisa. It's Katie.

Hi, Lisa. It's Tom.

And Stassi, too.

Hi, Lisa. What are you doing there, Stassi? They're supposed to be having a

romantic moment. Get out of there.

She's our third wheel.

How's the room?

Thank you so, so much. You didn't have to do that. You went above and beyond.

means the world to us.

Of course I had to do that. I wanted to do that.

And thank you so much for the champagne, too.

Oh, listen, you're welcome. You guys mean the world to me. And this is the

for you guys to enjoy yourselves and celebrate before the hard work begins.

Trust me, I've done 35 years of it.

Don't get scared, Schwartzy.

What do you mean by hard work?

We'll talk about it later.

I didn't have a bachelorette party because Ken was so naughty.

If I'm really honest, and I don't like to admit this, I didn't want him to have

a bachelor party because I knew if he had a bachelor party, we'd probably end

not getting married.

Anyway, guys, I've got to get back to my friends.

Thank you, Lisa. We really appreciate it. We miss you.

All right. Bye, darling.

This is awesome.

Sassy, is this your home turf?

It's my home turf.

Bourbon Street is an amazing street where anything goes.

Is this where the girls show their boobs?

Yeah.

Everybody's just so lively and fun.

It's just a really good time.

Yeah, I just got some beads.

I can't believe I had to show my butthole.

It feels very festive and lively, and it's the best welcoming first night out.

The first time I ever got drunk was when I went to prom and I took my best

friend and he took me to Bourbon Street and fed me

every single shot to the point where I just puked everywhere in public, like

over the place.

Police had to escort me back to the limo that my dad had rented for us.

So there's that.

We'll get drunk.

Coming up.

We're going to New Orleans to have all of our issues thrown in my face. No, I'm

not going to New Orleans. I'm going to go try my fun. Mama, come back.

Where are we going?

We're going to my favorite bar.

Look at that.

It's so cute.

Girls on this side, guys on this side.

I did have my concerns about it being a joint bachelor, bachelorette party.

But now that we're here and we're on Bourbon Street, I'm like, this is going

be awesome. I went and ordered all these for the girls.

They're shot glasses. Wait, you can put a shot in here?

We have beverages.

We have beverages.

Oh, yes.

Cheers, guys. Happy bachelor party.

Yes. Thank you.

Hey, you know what? I need to take the sweatshirt off. It's getting a little

hot, you know? Oh, no. Yeah, it's uncomfortable. I need to take this thing

real quick.

Whoa.

For a long time, I was Tom No. 1, but as I've grown to know you, I feel

like I have become Tom No. 2.

This is the real Tom No. 1 shirt.

Put it on.

You know that Kelly Clarkson song, some people wait a lifetime for a moment like

this?

I love you, man. I love you, too.

This is the moment I've been waiting a lifetime for.

Hi, guys. Hi. I'm going to take you to your table. Thank you. Right this way.

Can I get you guys anything to drink? Water's fine, yeah. Thank you so much.

Shay's been sober for eight months now, and I'm really happy and proud to be

celebrating the second anniversary with Shay.

All righty.

Whoa. Damn.

This boudoir book is the perfect second anniversary gift.

Whoa. I mean, he loves when I dress up in lingerie.

Wow, these are incredible.

He's probably going to want to go straight back to our hotel room.

Hey, thank you so much. Yeah. I love it.

Like a year ago, I wouldn't have thought we'd already be in this place.

Our first year of marriage was very difficult. How many were you taking a

Probably like five.

Wow. Why did you marry me? Why?

It's like whenever I get, like, annoyed that you're at the studio late, I just

think I'm like, okay, would I rather him be, like, drunk at a bar or being an

asshole or, like, unhappy? I'm like, he's in his happy place, working on

Yeah. Staying sober. Like, it takes a lifetime to accomplish what you have in

year. The main reason why I got to where I was is because of you.

Aww. You never stopped loving me and more in love with you than I ever have

in my entire life.

Losing you is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

Ditto. I love you. I love you.

Give me a kiss.

Yeah?

Marriage is work. It's not like you can just break up and move out.

I'm very proud of us for as far as we've come.

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

And I don't care if they say it's bad luck or cheers with waters.

Cheers to you.

Cheers to you. I'm so proud of you. I love you. I love you.

This looks like a hangover waiting to happen. What the hell is it? It's a

hurricane, and you're in New Orleans.

Is it Hurricane Tomcat?

It's Hurricane Tomcat.

Wow. We're cocky, babe?

Yeah!

Yay!

Yay! Come on, man.

There he is.

Do you feel like you have to go in between both tables? When there's a lull

their conversation, I'm like, all right, I'm going to go in there. I mean, of

course Ariana has to do something alternative.

Do you guys want to do a seance?

She's not just a groomsman. We love you.

Ariana, get in there.

She's able to balance that with being like a makeshift bridesmaid. Does

want some Jaeger?

But then, I'm so not surprised.

Oh, are these shots?

Let's put it.

Oh my God, there's like lipstick on this.

It's one of our friends, I think.

I think.

What if it's not? Ew.

How's it going?

Good. Everything goes by so fast.

This whole summer is just blown by.

It's crazy.

You guys have literally pulled this wedding together and everything so fast.

I've been losing my mind.

90 % of the reason why Tom and I fight is because of tension or hurt feelings

between our friend and us.

You know, what had happened at my bridal shower, Aaron having, like, unwavering

loyalty and Lala, like, really?

Like, it's just, like, so inappropriate.

The reality is, when Lala first came to serve... No, sorry, I'm going to cut you

off there. Not listening to that.

You didn't confront her about her trips or anything? Or, like, how many blowjobs

she has to give? You didn't like her either when she started. So why is it

coming down on me?

Look, my biggest concern, Katie, I feel like you and Schwartz have argued a lot

about... And I feel like there's something deeper underneath.

There's nothing deep -rooted.

I mean, I know that a lot of your arguments...

tend to fall during a time where either or both of you have been drinking.

Usually both.

Like, it's so easy for her to downplay when we do go into those insane fights

because a lot of times she doesn't remember a lot of it. I think that's a

thing to hear.

The wedding is literally three weeks away.

As of today.

Like, what if you guys just meet with somebody who is just completely

and just talk, just talk.

some of these little f***ing things out. I'm just saying to, like, think that,

like, what, like, before you guys walk in, like, make sure you want to do this.

This is my bachelorette party. I should be just dancing and laughing and having

drinks and not be talking about my relationship with Dr.

Tom Sandoval.

When do we get to have fun?

We are having fun. I haven't had fun in...

Yeah, you have. Have fun? What's wrong?

Tom thinks we should go to therapy.

How about it? Well, I didn't come here.

How about it? It's okay. I didn't come all the way to New Orleans to have all

our issues thrown in my face. No, I'm not going to.

No, I don't want to. I don't want to talk to you. I love you. I'm going to go

have a chat with him.

But I'm... Bubba, come back. Bubba, it's okay.

Coming up.

I was an asshole. I was a cheater. I was a liar. I was a stealer.

So, how was everything tonight? How many people did we have? Pretty good.

240.

Okay, good.

Oh, perfect.

How are you?

Do you have a reservation?

Because we're booked up.

Okay, I'm just coming to say hi to Lisa.

Can I see you outside for a moment?

Okay, I've got a couple of minutes.

All right, perfect.

Your hostess seems very lovely, very polite. I wonder how she is to

Well, I don't think she sleeps with all our customers. I didn't sleep with her.

Do you want to start a problem with me because you hooked up with me? No, I

didn't hook up with you.

Ever. No, Lisa, I wasn't smashing with smitty troll fakes, okay?

I didn't know trolls worked at the... Anyway, what can I do you for?

I'm just checking in with you.

I just wanted to come talk to you about the other night, the Daily Mail party.

It went really well. I didn't drink the whole night, killed my DJ set. James

Kennedy, the white Kanye West, is back. Forget what you heard and remember where

you heard it first.

Felt really good about the other night and everything really seems to be coming

a little bit together for me.

Is there? How many nights a week are you working?

Honestly, Friday still opens me, Wednesday still opens me, Monday,

off, Sunday I'm off.

So you're only working two nights a week?

So what are you doing the rest of the time?

I would honestly just love to work here on Wednesdays again.

I just can't do that right now.

Do you think I could, like, maybe work at Pump on a Friday? No, no, no, no.

What part of no don't you understand? No. No.

James may look at this like a one -night audition to gain back his full -time

residency at Sir and Pump, but to me, this is just honouring a commitment.

So what am I supposed to think?

You know, if you show me you're sober for a year, you show me that you're

an excellent job.

Well, I could say, you know, you're never coming back. Right. Which is

what my intention was.

All right, well, I don't want to take up too much of your time. You know, it's

very precious. I've taken up a lot of my time in the past, James. Yeah.

All right, then. All right, I'll see you later.

Say hi to Max for me. I think I might see him later tonight. Say hello to Max

yourself. Bye, Lisa. Thank you. Bye, James.

Wait, no.

What was that one? I have no idea. That was vodka. Love it. Thank you.

This makes me happy.

Having everybody in my hometown and my favorite bar. You'd be able to forget

other things.

I was going

to feel really

sad.

Here, because I'm the only one not in a relationship.

There's no giving kisses to your boyfriend right now when you're talking

somebody that's going through a breakup.

Oh, I'm sorry. So, like, put that kiss thing away.

Guys, I'm talking to Saucy about stealing stuff.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I'm a little drunk.

I know you're drunk. It's okay. You came over here.

and gave Brittany kissy faces when you knew I'm going through a breakup and I

don't need, like, everybody being couple -y right in front of my face. I just

want to help.

Please help. Then help me.

What you're going through right now, I'm sorry.

Whatever. Yeah, it's been fun.

I just don't understand why he could never be in the picture. Why would he

be there for you? What was the issue?

He didn't like Jax or something?

I mean... Jax? Yeah. It's years ago.

You were never in the card for him to be, like, he was not going to be around

you if you made a bunch of mistakes.

Jack has done the worst thing that you could do to someone, to me.

And Patrick knows everything.

Where'd you sleep last night?

What do you think?

You spent the last year professing I'm the only one for you while you were

banging on my closest friend, Kristen.

What did I ever do to you to deserve this? What did I do?

Patrick never wanted to come to group events because he didn't want to run

Jack. He didn't want to have to go and shake his hand.

So we just kept our lives separate.

But that kind of drew a wedge between me and Patrick because I felt like I was

leading two different lives.

If a man loves you, he's using that as a cop -out. Oh, God.

All right. That's so stupid.

It is not stupid.

You know what? It would make me feel so much better if you just looked at me and

you said, I'm very sorry.

Like, that would mean everything to me. This is bad. This is the show race.

Wow.

Be more selfish.

Don't roll your eyes. I'm not rolling my eyes. You don't get it.

You don't get it. I don't get it. You don't get it.

You don't get it. I don't get it. No, you don't get it. What is there to say?

Sorry is what I want to hear you say.

Jack, you could release yourself. You could release anything that you... You

could just say, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I was a different person then. I was a piece of shit. I was an

asshole. I was a cheater. I was a liar. I was a stealer. I was everything that

nobody should want to be around.

I'm sorry to you, Stassi. I apologize.

I've done so much stupid, stupid shit in my life. I was a piece of shit.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I did a lot of bad things.

I'm sorry.

Really, thank you. Thank you for saying that. Thank you.

To finally hear him be remorseful, admit this guilt, and look me in the eye and

apologize, it's so vindicating.

I'll leave you guys alone for a second.

No, no, no. No, no, no. It's okay. No, no. It's okay. I need a break from that.

I'm sorry that I hurt so many other people before I met you.

We're crying because you upset other people, but yeah, you upset me.

And you've never had this reaction.

I can't help but be a little bit jealous right now because Jack couldn't

apologize to me for fighting in Sonoma.

I'm supporting your lifestyle.

He didn't apologize for the dick pic. They're using your penis as a poster.

You gotta really pick and choose your battles.

It's not okay.

You're like crying.

Well, listen, I don't want to bet my life. Yes, I've upset people. You've

me feel like shit a couple times. You've made me feel like shit a couple times.

When? Oh, my gosh. When?

Your attitude.

When? A lot of times.

Name it.

All right.

It's bigger than that. This is hurting people.

Exactly. It's hurting people.

Time on Vanderpump Rules.

Oh, my goodness!

Hey, Katie!

Don't stop, Gray. Tom and Katie's room. Well, hopefully he's not sleeping on the

couch. Like Katie Maloney would say, don't discount my feelings. Don't pick a

fight with me. You don't remember because you were too droll. No, I

It's so very deep down. And now she has kicked off about every little thing.

Like, he has to do this before the wedding. He has to. You don't want to

the rest of your life like this.

Whether you love her or not.

We're just getting started, babe.

Can you guys tell me where is my penis?

It's not there.

You see it. You can play around with it for a while, but I need it back.

Guys, back off. I want you and Peter to be on the best page ever. Please.

We'll roast your ass. It doesn't concern you.

Are you serious?

Captain, that'd be cool.

Yes, I made out with that shirt. And you didn't fuck her, right?

I did not.

I'm done with her. I'm done with Katie.

I'm not marrying her.

I'm not.