All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S5E14

Previously on Vanderpump Rules.

This is so exciting.

New Orleans it is. Brad's mate.

It's hard getting on the same page with
him. When you say things and they hurt,

or you text each other things, that's
somewhat safe.

I'll start crying when I talk about
this.

It felt abrasive to just look at me and
be like, I don't give a f*** about you.

I don't know what to tell you.

Maybe if you'll just get involved and go
to the little church like I've been

trying to get you to then.

I do. Maybe I do need Jesus.

God's face needs something.

It's my first live performance tomorrow
where I'm on the stage rapping.

This one's called Get Loose.

Maybe. I would never have liked to be
here. Look at you. You're disgusting.

You're disgusting.

Look at this. I know, it's healthy fat.

Some don't have names, so it's going to
be a surprise.

Katie got these very beautiful, very
expensive invitations.

They better not be more than $5 a piece.

They're like $18 a piece. What?

But she forgot to put a line for people
to put their name on the RSVP, so we

don't really know who's coming to our
wedding.

Is that another anonymous? It is
anonymous, except rather than checking

they drew a penis where the yes goes.
It's got to be Jax or Tom.

Let me see. I can tell by the penis. I'm
not even kidding. Tom always has, like,

pointy balls, so I know it's his.

Me, personally, I like the really long
shafts and the eeny, teeny little balls.

That's my signature.

I think that's a Tom.

Hey, Dodie.

Hi. Hi, Dodie. Welcome to the party.

Tell me, tell me some, dish me some
dirty deets about...

He's a club thing. Tom gave me like an
abbreviated version.

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I went there
to eat popcorn and watch fireworks.

That was my number one thing.

Sheena had texted me last night and
Sheena got like mad at me because I

like, tell me more. I was kind of like,
but why? You have bigger fish to fry. I

feel like that was like her and Ariana
being friends again and whatever that

like, he's definitely been distancing
her.

You guys got to hash that out before we
go to New Orleans, all right? Well, I

also hope that Ariana can get her figure
out, too, because... She will.

I don't know, like, you probably heard
about the paint and zip thing.

No, if someone can't come and hang out
with everyone and get along with

everyone, then they don't need to come.

Before we all go on this bachelor
-bachelorette trip together, there are

people in this wedding party that need
to start falling in line.

First being Sheena, and then right
underneath, Ariana.

Stassi's feelings mean more to me than
anyone. I know. So maybe she can find it

in her heart to apologize to Stassi for
being a bitch.

How is Tom?

He was like delirious. I'm doing a photo
shoot. I haven't modeled in so many

years. I forgot what to do because I
haven't eaten.

Don't feed the model. That's the rule.

For 30 years, I've despised models.

So it's kind of hard to reconcile the
fact that I'm now feeding a male model.

got a photo shoot coming up. Yeah. And
it looks like T -Sandy's coming out of

retirement. He should be doing his photo
shoot pretty soon here.

So last night, that was fun.

Oh, my God. That was interesting.

Oh, I was so angered last night.

But the thing was, nothing went down
until she

started it. That is not true.

Hello. Hello.

Hi.

What's going on?

We were just talking about DJ James.

Why are you talking about him?

James booked another job, and he invited
Tom and I to come. Well, that's a good

thing. Yeah, it's great. But then a lot
of other people came for maybe not

benevolent reasons.

Who went? This guy.

I was trying to give James the benefit
of the doubt and listen to DJ James.

I love trans music.

I let James go.

So he could go off and rebuild himself.

And suddenly to have Jax and Sheena
trailing around town looking for trouble

not what I had in mind.

Okay, how about Jax, we just admit we
were wrong for going, it was mean, we

shouldn't have done it, and we're sorry.
Of course it's wrong and it's mean, but

I'm going to do it anyway. I just, I
don't like him.

This guy's a really good photographer.

L .A. models set this up.

I've got to get some good pictures,
motivate them to sign me, and then that

I can get my ass out there and start
working.

One like this for an agency?

It's been a long time.

I'm looking at getting back into
modeling. So I've been talking to one of

top agencies in L .A., and they're
actually really interested in signing

before that happens, they just want to
make sure that I still have what it

takes. Like me.

Hey, is this Joe Simpson?

Yeah. Jessica Simpson. Wow.

Hello! Hi!

How are you? Nice to meet you, man. Nice
to meet you, Tom.

Come in.

You know, it's a bachelor pad, so make
yourself at home. I remember being in

college, sitting on my couch, watching
Newlyweds, watching Joe Simpson on TV,

and now Tom hits me up and he's like,
I'm going to shoot with Joe Simpson.

Maybe, like, Jessica will pop out.

Did you have fun painting the other
night?

Yeah. You did?

Yeah. It got awkward towards the end.

I'll give you that.

Katie was really fired up too now
because she gets defensive over Stassi.

She's like, if she's going to act like
that, I don't want her coming to the

bachelor party or the wedding. I don't
like that. I'm like, dude, get the fuck

out of here, man.

Ariana is not a combative person.

Stassi, Kristen, Katie, all these people
have proven to be a combative person.

I have an opinion about this, and I
don't want this to continue.

This is not coming to New Orleans. The
boys are going to be separating. The

girls are going to be separating.

So if y 'all can't get along, I don't
know.

She will continue to get along with
everyone until they try and tell her who

can and can't be friends with.

Listen, I'm Team Katie for the next
month and hopefully the rest of our

But for the next month, unequivocally,
it'll be fine. I'll talk to her. I'll

tell her to maybe be a little bit more
polite. Okay, cool. Anyway, dude.

Let's shoot. Let's do it. Let's do it.

All right, my man.

Welcome to my art space.

Okay, so girls, we got boobs and we got
all kinds of other stuff. Guys, we got

stomach in, dick out.

All right.

I won't look. Do it. Look at me. Watch
me. I want you to. Tell me if you see

something cool or weird.

I gotta say, as good as Tom looks,
hair's blowing in almost slow motion,

some smoldering bedroom eyes. Like, I
don't envy him right now, you know? I

like I was always better at just...
Wearing a suit and doing, like, jump

That's good.

That's hot. That's right.

There are people that believe when you
get your photo taken that that photo is

taking a part of your soul.

Yeah, that's hot. Reach into the camera
like you're going to kiss the wind.

That's hot.

But when I get my photo taken, I feel
like it's giving my soul light.

Why do you get light, Brent?

Thank you, my man. Thank you, too. I
appreciate it, man. Thank you.

Stay outside?

Yeah.

You look so pretty.

Thanks, baby.

You look beautiful.

Can I get you started on drinks right
away, or do you guys need a few minutes?

Can we just get two ice waters with
lemon, guitar, and... Sure.

Can you give me the glasses for a nap
last night?

Of course.

That fucking psycho, Gigi. What did she
say to you?

She was just talking about how I'm an
idiot for thinking that you could be

to me and that I'm just dumb for dating
you, basically.

I'm just trying to understand, like...

How they even had the opportunity to,
like, take your clothes and take

of you. Babe, I was an idiot. I mean, I
honestly trusted them too much, you

know. She could have gotten to the side
of my bed and taken five of these photos

and just gotten out.

I mean, with the amount of whiskey and
old fashions that I was drinking, I

wasn't exactly coherent of everything
that was happening in my house.

You know, it's hard not to...

have that little bit of doubt that, are
you faithful to me? Yes, I'm faithful

to you.

Honestly, if Raquel was to leave me at
this point, I mean, like, first my dad,

then Lisa and Sir, and then my
girlfriend, it's like, I'm honestly

left with nothing by the end of this
summer.

When I am in Sonoma, like, I don't know
if you're, like, able to stay loyal to

me, like, while.

I'm away.

I mean, I'm telling you that I can be.

That doesn't really make me feel very
reassured.

You gotta trust me.

That's all I can offer.

Coming up.

You guys keep giving up. I still have
all the same feelings, but I can't keep

doing this to myself.

Happy Sunday. Thank you.

Happy Sunday.

I kind of acted like a dick last week.

Why don't I sit here and tell your
mother what I've done for you since

been here? Sitting on the couch for a
year while I take care of you.

Brittany's mom is kind of asking a favor
to me to attend church with Brittany,

and I feel like I kind of owe it to her.

You can sit right up here in the front.

I changed a lot for Jax, and him going
to church is a small change that he can

make for me.

You look very handsome. Flat screen TVs
in church.

Yeah. Okay, nice.

It's been a long time since I've been to
church. I guess things have changed.

I grew up going to church. I was raised
Catholic.

I used to have to do plays when I was
younger.

Christmas Eve every year. They always
gave me the same part because I never

memorized my lines.

What if I loved this so much and I
became the director?

That would be nice.

I only had to say, I bring you
frankincense.

What the hell is frankincense?

Each week we celebrate one of the
underlying emotions, and this week we're

celebrating anger.

I don't know of no more powerful or
prophetic tool than for us to take

and accountability for those times when
we've projected our anger at others.

We have the power to go the first step
and say, I screwed up.

How funny is it that the message is
about anger? I mean, this is the perfect

message for Jack. But you know what?

If your heart is truly open and you're
willing to go there and build the bridge

and say, you know what? You matter so
much to me.

I'm going to say I'm sorry because you
matter.

No.

Take what you found and you've heard
here out into that world.

May God bless us.

Amen.

Thanks for coming with me.

You're very welcome. You know, it does
mean a lot to me that you did this.

Hopefully, me going to church is enough
to get Brittany and her mom back on Team

Jack. Off my back and back in that
kitchen where she belongs.

I'm kidding.

We can chalk it off the list of things
we did. Yeah. Tell your mom we went.

tell mom we came. I'll tell her it's
different than back home, but it was

a great experience. Yeah, I mean,
everything in California is different

back home. Yeah, it was fun, and I'm
glad we came. For sure.

Chef Stassi is going to make everything
better. Seriously, this is a good meal.

I would like to have this meal. I was
really looking forward to my surgery

because I knew that you would have to,
like, really pull it out and take care

me.

And I knew that you were going to have
to come up with something to cook.

I came up to Lake Arrowhead because my
mom just had a hysterectomy. Are you

ready? Yeah, I'm ready.

Two different types of toast and then a
big scoop of cookie dough.

Raw cookie dough.

One should never underestimate the
healing powers of raw cookie dough.

So nice of you to come.

I've gotten really close to Dana
Stassi's mom, so of course I want to be

for her.

I know Stassi is upset about the
breakup, and I want to be a support this

Do you have advice for Stassi now that
she's newly single?

She can... I've already talked to her,
like, 10 billion times. You should know

by now.

This is the thing, Nikolai. We've both
fought for this for three years. That's

really long time to, like, be fighting
for that.

Here's the biggie.

You have your friends, but Patrick is
actually alone right now.

Okay? He has no one helping him.

Wait, what? I mean, I want to talk to
him.

Nikolai and Patrick were very close. I
introduced my little brother to

and then I just took him from him.

So I feel very guilty.

It's a situation that I can't, it's so
hard for me to articulate, because I

don't hate him. I know. I have all the
same feelings, but I can't keep doing

this to myself.

I want to be able to, like, be in a
steady situation, and he deserves to be

steady situation, too. You guys keep
giving up. Nikolai, I know you love

Patrick, and I love that you do, but,
like, I really do need to be alone for a

little while. I need to be alone.

I need you to just,

like, be supportive, because I feel like
I'm losing it.

Life's tough, man.

Especially when you're 20.

I love you.

Hi. Welcome.

How can I help you today?

I'm definitely going to do a London
fall.

And for you?

I'll definitely do that London Frog as
well, please.

We'll bring that to you.

Thanks. Thanks.

I'm not going to lie and say it's easy
being a DJ around L .A. and being sober

at the same time, because it's not.

I think this is going to be a really
good new stage in my life, a new road to

walk down.

What do you got going on for the rest of
the day?

Peter asked me to do a small little
thing in the short that he's doing that

wants to sell and get made into a
feature film.

And it's kind of sci -fi or whatever.
That's going to be fun, though. Like,

you're doing what you love.

I'm in L .A. for a reason, trying to
make a name for myself.

Whether it's acting, music, modeling,
I've got to be hustling at all times

because if not, I might as well be back
in St. Louis bartending at Ballpark

Village. You were pretty worked up the
other night, which rightly so, man.

Honestly, I find it flattering in
another sense that Gigi just wants to

so clear that I hooked up with her
before. I mean, I never even...

I mean, never even like slightly hooked
up with the guy. James, if you want me

to be completely honest with you. Sure.
It seems like it really did happen.

And I'm not trying to like grow you. I'm
just trying to help you out. Well,

that's what you're doing right now.

Come on, dude.

I wasn't there to actually see
penetration, but I don't feel like I

It does almost at this point sound
easier to admit it, but I can't admit

something that didn't happen.

Coming up.

Schwartz told me that Katie said
something along the lines of, well, if

going to act like that, what would I
have her come on the bachelor party or

the wedding?

I do this with my eyes closed.

It's going to be Tom up right now? Yeah,
and we have his shots in front of the

green screen right now.

Sounds good.

Hey, hey!

Hey, how's it going, man?

Man of the hour.

I am producing an eight -minute short
film called The Riven.

Kind of like Star Wars meets Halo. It's
going to be amazing.

It's going to be eight minutes long so
we can get a bigger budget for a bigger

feature film. That's what we're looking
to do. Yeah, man.

$100 million project.

So I'm curious, is this after there was
a battle or something?

Yeah. Basically, my ship got attacked.

James' ship got attacked. You're
actually going to rescue him right now.

finally was able to send a message to
you, and you're there to get him. And

you guys are getting embarked. I just
got his message.

Right. All right.

So, dude, I mean, let's get you into the
armor, and we'll give you the last

looks, and we'll put you in front of the
green screen ready to go, man. All

right, cool. Don't get. I'll do it.

Hello.

Hey.

In the entertainment industry, it's a
really good thing to sort of be in these

smaller projects while people are on
their way up.

All right.

Let's go for it, guys.

Roll one.

Team 90, take one.

Commander, we received your
transmission.

We dispatched strike units to your
location.

Glad to have you still with us.

Back to one. No worries, man. Take two.

Commander, we received your
transmission.

Commander, we received your
transmission. We dispatched strike units

position. Strike pods.

We've dispatched strike pods to your
position.

Glad to still have you with us.

Doc, I'll cancel that order and ready me
a ship.

Yes, Captain.

Uh, Tom.

Yeah. You keep on saying at the end,
yes, Captain. Say yes, Command.

Oh, yes, Captain.

Uh, yes, Commander, at the end. Ah!

It's all good, man.

Should've had stronger coffee.

Commander, we received... Commander, we
received your transmission.

You got this.

Commander, we received your
transmission.

We've dispatched strike pods to your
position.

Glad to still have you with us.

Dude, that one was great, man. Ladies
and gentlemen, that is a wrap on Tom.

Yeah, that's a wrap, guys.

Woo!

I mean, who knows?

Maybe Peter could become the next James
Cameron and I could be the next Avatar.

Maybe.

I think the photo shoot with Joe the
other day went really good.

I know, I want to see more of your
pictures.

I was talking to Schwartz while I was
there. You know, him and Katie were a

little worried about the way things went
at the art night.

Okay. I mean, I'll let them be worried,
but I don't think they have anything to

worry about. Schwartz told me that Katie
said something along the lines of,

well, if Ariana's going to act like
that, what would I have her come on the

bachelor party or even the wedding?

She's not going to get an apology from
me because it will be fake. If I were

you, though, I would just try to not be
so blunt.

I'm not much of a sugarcoater.

Hello. I'm a total slob, but come in.
Hey.

The girls are looking lovely.

What do I owe this visit?

Oh, I'm glad you're home.

I came to steal things.

Yeah. What do you want?

Sangria, if you have it.

I'd go.

Actually, I might have some.

I might have some. I'm hosting this
thing tomorrow.

What are you doing exactly?

Bar day.

Don't take it all.

Just leave one bottle. Four bottles
maybe? How many are you?

Eight. So you'll only need 16 bottles
then.

Yes, background.

So tell me about the party exactly.

Oh, well, this is sort of my bridal
shower gift to Katie.

Pandora is a bit of a chip off the old
block. She absolutely loves

I hope Stassi and Crispin don't go over
there and screw it up. Well, I hope it

all goes accordingly.

No, I actually haven't thought about
that. Oh, I've thought about it. Why?

Just Katie's attitude, man. She's just
been like...

What do you mean?

Sit down. I just feel like she's been
getting mad at me for every little

You have to give somebody a bit of the
benefit of the doubt when they're a

bride. You don't just get to be a raging
bitch all the time.

I feel like during the summer of my
wedding, I...

Was a very calm bride.

Kristen, don't start with me. Seriously,
Kristen, don't start.

I'm getting married next week. No, no,
no, no, no. Have her stop and start

When I say ready, that means go.

The power of everything being all about
Katie. I think she's taking a little too

extreme because she just feels like she
can do whatever, say whatever, and have

absolutely no consequences.

She's gonna remember.

Like, all these defining moments. You
know, her bachelorette party, her

shower, this spa day.

And if there's a problem, you know, at
any of these events, and you're in the

middle of it, it's going to hold you
responsible.

I'm surprised that Katie's picking on
Sheena, because Sheena's been really

a good friend to Katie.

It seems to me that whenever Starseed's
back in the mix, the whole balance

changes, and Sheena's going to feel the
brunt of it. I know you'll make

everything lovely, and give them lots of
it!

Maybe not too much. That was a good
idea.

Hey.

Hey.

Somebody order a groom? Yeah. Right
here.

Does anybody want anything to drink? Oh,
yeah. I'll do a Miller Lite.

I'll do a Coors Light. I'm going to do.

vodka soda with lemon do you guys want
to do around the shop sure so

yeah it looks like uh new orleans baby i
think it's a really

sideways wig haha we're talking like
dude

i'm out that guy later

I always thought it'd be fun to go full
drag with Jack, Tom, and the guys and

just hit the streets and get utterly
wasted like we usually do, except, you

know, dressed as women.

What guy hasn't looked in the mirror and
thought to himself, I wonder if I could

be a hot chick?

You've done it.

You've done it.

I think the better we look.

the better it's going to be. Do you
shave your armpits? Yes.

Okay. I'm going to wear, I'm going to
wear like, Oh my God. You can be like a

suicide girl style.

Yeah.

You're like the punk suicide girl. I
want to be the suicide punk girl.

I'm willing to dress as a transvestite.

Yes.

Transvestite. I'm willing to dress as a
transvestite for one night because it's

Tom's special party.

But I tell you what, I'm not shaving my
beard. So I'm going to be one ugly

woman. I'm going to look up suicide
girls tonight, maybe click some notes.

Hopefully my girlfriend doesn't see me
doing this.

Every time we do something kind of
remotely... Oh, yeah.

Homoerotic. Homoerotic. What do we do
even remotely in Homoerotic?

Says this guy.

Candy.

Just like old times, minus the
penetration.

Okay, so next order of business.

We do have some unpleasant things to
address.

Why? So ever since, like, the paint
situation, Kosti got, like, really

And I gotta say, I thought you were a
little harsh on her.

Now it's, like, escalating, and now the
girls are thinking that you don't want

to be there in the first place.

I... I'm not going to go up to Stassi
and say that I owe you an apology.

Because I do not believe that I do. But
what I will do is come to an

understanding with her. Try to be cool.

By the end of tomorrow, it'll be like me
and Stassi making out. She's single

now. That would be awesome.

You guys got two.

And often that's a party. For the
hottest group of girls I've ever seen.

Ended not tucking our wieners between
our butt cheeks unless I will, though.

I'll go there.

Coming up. We're wondering if you had
any extra gowns or clothes.

This is Jacqueline Taylor.

I even quite fancy you myself.

Hey, will you help me put knives and
forks on the table? Yeah.

Thank you.

I was honestly going to do it just, you
know, us four, but Katie said she wanted

everybody in it. I was actually
surprised that you're letting them into

home.

We'll see how they behave.

All of you. Hello.

Welcome.

Holy crap.

This is incredible.

Oh, my God.

Would you like some sangria?

I would love some.

This is so cute.

Wait until you see the rest of the
house.

Hello. Hi.

How are you?

Good. Hi.

You're cute.

Want to put your stuff inside? Sure. I
want to see the house. Me too.

Yeah, come on in.

You have a piano.

Yeah. There's a piano area.

So cool. People have pianos? This is so
cool.

Right? Isn't it?

Are you f***ing kidding me? Someone gets
to live here? This is the outdoors.

Do you wake up happy, like, every day?

Yeah. I mean, how could you not?

Pandora's house is gold AF.

It's immaculately decorated, obviously.

I can't wait to grow up.

And then the kitchen.

This is my favorite room. This is the TV
area.

Okay, come on, let's look quickly and
then go have massages.

This is the gym.

Shut up.

This is our bedroom.

This is how the other half lived.

I'm just going to gift my daughter a
house in Beverly Hills.

I now know.

I chose the wrong parent.

Let's go downstairs because the massage
people just got here. You go first

because it's your day.

Maybe with Brittany and Kristen.

Yeah. And then the other lady coming to
do hand peels. So bougie.

Hello,

sir.

Do you just want to drop it off?
Somebody will be down there to sign for

minute.

Hello. Okay, thank you.

Yes?

Hello, Mr. Vanderpump.

How are you?

Oh, lordy. What are you so scruffy for?

I'm on my way to the gym.

Do you work out?

Sometimes.

Okay,

there. Actually, a couple things I need
from you. First of all, I need to pick

up some money from you.

Oh, what tip?

Yeah. Well, I could probably give you
that out of the loose change.

What kind of tip do you make?

Also, I have a question. I'm
wondering... I'm wondering if, well,

bachelor party is coming up and we're
going to have it in New Orleans. One of

his ideas that he wants to dress up, he
wants the guys to dress up in drag.

It's funny, New Orleans is kind of that
way.

Right. We're wondering if you had any
extra, if you have any

old gowns or clothes that we could
borrow.

I don't know what kind of.

employee slash boss relationship I have.
I can't believe I'm even doing this.

So this just goes to show what kind of a
groomsman I am. What do you want

exactly? Like a hat or something? Yeah,
like a hat. Maybe you have some costume

jewelry or something.

Do I look like I have old costume
jewelry?

Seriously, look at me.

I could dig deep.

I just don't actually think I can resist
the temptation of missing this.

Okay. All right. Well, I'm going to be
home in an hour. You can borrow just a

couple of things.

How are you? Good, how are you?

Good. Okay,

so wait, what exactly is this? It's a
glycolic hand peel, very gentle.

So it's just going to make our hands
look younger?

Exactly. It's going to shed a layer of
skin.

Okay, so I mean, obviously we are doing
joint things. We're doing a joint thing

now. You guys seem good, fine.

She's the one that doesn't like me.

So I really don't know. I'm laughing
because it's funny.

And it's funny because it's true.

I just, I do think you should apologize
for hurting her feelings. I don't want

her to apologize, though, if she doesn't
want to. I don't understand. I just

know your feelings were very hurt. Yeah.
And you were in that conversation with

me, and you know that I didn't just say
that out of nowhere.

I'm not trying to be involved in, like,
a group of friends that, like, can fight

like that. I never did.

And I don't understand what you're
doing. Because I care about Katie.

I don't give a f*** about you.

I think what really hurts my feelings is
actually just the fact that you've made

it clear, like, I'm not somebody that
you like, but you don't have to make me

feel bad when we're around each other.

I can kind of hear them being like, you
hurt my feelings.

Oh, really? Yeah, they're talking about
it, I guess.

Stassi was crying yesterday.

Stassi doesn't need to cry now, though.
I hope she knows.

Well, I just heard Stassi say, you hurt
my feelings.

Well, I can try to have a more open
mind.

That's really nice. Thank you. I will
try to have a more open mind. And

honestly, even when we were, like,
painting, all I wanted to do was have

All right. Well, then that's a good.

I just want to have fun, too. I feel
like moving forward, Ariana and I are

to be fine.

We're not going to be great. We're not
going to be best friends. But we're

to be fine.

And that's good enough for me. I think
this was a good session, both of you.

like to see you again in one week. Look
at you.

Group hug.

Bring it in.

Coming up. Then why the f*** are you
friends with me if I'm fake? I have said

I'm sorry. It was taggy. It was
flatless. I'm sorry.

Calm down.

No. God.

Lunch time, lunch time. Hey, I'm
starved. You guys just want to help

with this? Well, cheers.

Congratulations.

Pinar, thank you so much.

Your house, goals.

We've had a good day.

Do people say super sorry?

I don't want her to say sorry today
because when somebody's pressured to say

sorry, even if somebody is sorry, it's
kind of like not as genuine. Yeah.

That's something that we talked about
earlier.

I didn't want to force with something
that I know would make myself feel

Well, Ariana said that she's agreed to
be a little more open -minded when it

comes to Stassi. Do you realize that
makes it sound like I'm a serial killer?

Like, what?

I just feel like when someone tells you
that their feelings are hurt, it's just

a decent thing to do.

This is a once -in -a -lifetime thing
for me.

It's not in my nature to be like, this
is about me, this is my time, but it is.

And we've, you know, chosen and selected
the people that we want to really share

in this time with us. Now everything's
fine. I can't handle someone that has

sort of negativity towards someone else,
running something that's supposed to be

a really amazing thing.

I tried to make things better between
Stassi and Ariana, and that still wasn't

good enough for Katie. So I feel like,
literally, I can't win.

I haven't been there for a lot of the,
like, bridesmaid stuff.

Obviously, you mentioned to me about
some things that just made me feel

uncomfortable. I've gotten angry, drunk
text messages from Kristen. After the

shower, she texts me immediately and
goes, so we're splitting this three

right? I'm sorry for, like, anything
I've said that's out of line or, you

that it was tacky of me to keep you in
the loop. I have felt you kind of, like,

become distant.

I've been trying to figure out why.

I love you, and I don't like...

When we fight and when you text me mean
things and it's harsh, it's mean it's

still my truth.

I don't understand why Katie's truth is
the only truth that matters.

Bullshit. You're drunk texting me all of
these insults. When you drink too much,

that's the issue.

I'm tired of looking like an alcoholic,
drunk, like insubordinate person.

I'm tired of that.

But Katie, you turn a different person
when you drink.

That's everybody.

It's not just her. It's not just me. I
don't get affected by the alcohol

changing the way I'm speaking to my
friends.

She drinks, and then she's mean and
aggressive and irrational and sends me

of these mean messages only when she
drinks.

Like, that is so unfair. It's
despicable.

I mean, it's not just me. A lot of
people say it. A lot of people feel that

you're fake a lot of times.

Then why the f*** are you friends with
me if I'm fake?

Don't be my friend. Tina, you're sitting
there acting like you're perfect.

She's trying to apologize for anything.
Really? By owning everything, I'm trying

to act like I'm perfect? I have said,
I'm sorry. It was tacky. It was

I'm sorry.

Calm down.

No. What's this? God.

Oh.

I'm over this.

I don't know how I've gotten to this
place. My friends are constantly

disappointed in me.

You okay?

No.

I'll be back.

All my wedding events are just painted
by an asshole.

Sorry.

I can't drive any harder. I don't know
what else to do. I feel like I'm going

crazy. I'm like, I'm just like at my
breaking point with her. Like I can't.

Maybe that means there's some sort of
underlying.

She doesn't like me.

It's just a sad, lonely place in it.

The thing is, because I am so nice, but
if you cross me, if you fuck me over.

Yeah, you're scary. I will fuck you up.

I'm just going to apologize one more
time. I don't think we're going to

accomplish anything today, and I don't
want to ruin the rest of your day, so

going to go, and I want you guys to
enjoy the rest of your day. Tina, you

have to go. Do you want me to stay?

Yes. Then can we just, like, go talk to
you? Yes, we can, Tina.

I still love Tina, and I want to be her
friend, but if Tina and I are going to

be in a real place in our friendship, I
should be able to voice my feelings to

her. It's very frustrating.

Do you just, like, really make me feel
like...

There are just so many things wrong with
me that bother you that I'm just like,

then why are you my friend?

I call people out on things.

It's just like things sitting on the
table. So if there are things about me

you want to say, then say them. But
don't expect me not to have a response.

Okay. Don't make me cry.

Because I do love you, little thing.

I love you, too.

The second I see her show a little bit
of emotion, I'm like, okay, so you do

care. So we can fix this today and move
on with our friendship.

Are you coming to my pool party
tomorrow?

I'm hoping I am.

Hi. Hi.

Hey. We need help. You want to try on my
underwear? I know. Yes. As the queen of

accessorizing. Queen of drag.

Is that what you're going to say?

Okay. The queen of glam. I feel like you
might be the person to help these guys

out. Okay.

Okay. Let's go upstairs. I haven't got
long to mess about.

Look, I've never been to Lisa's closet,
but since I've known her, she's always

put together head to toe, dressed to the
nines. And I'm just curious.

Like, I want to see that closet.

Is it the same? Look at this.

Oh, my gosh.

Their closet's like the size of some
people's homes. It was actually the size

my studio apartment, just this part. But
where are you going to get the dress?

I'm going to go look around. I've got to
go bra shopping.

Bra shopping?

Yeah. It's really hard to be a girl. Not
only do you have to, like, pick out

handbags and shoes and all this, then
you've got to put makeup on and earrings

and accessories.

It's a pain in the ass.

This will fit you. Try this on. Oh, my
gosh.

Don't tell me this is the first time
he's tried on a dress.

It's definitely not the first time I've
tried one on.

Tom really likes shiny things.

What is it about this?

It's seriously like a kid in a candy
store.

Let's have a look.

I think I have it on backwards.

I think it looks good on you.

It's not actually quite his size.

Let's present Mrs.

Jacqueline Taylor.

See how gorgeous your decolletage is?
Yeah,

I never heard of this Givenchy guy.

Givenchy. Give me that. No, that's mine.

Oh, man.

I only wear Givenchy. If the guys are
going to be women, then they're going to

need to step it up. You need something
like these glasses.

Don't worry, I won't take them. This is
the kind of gift that black males are

made of.

Oh, yeah.

You are fierce.

Oh, Tom, look at you. You've got to
tease him a little bit. Yeah, you do.

Coming up.

Knock that shit off. Okay.

Knock it off right now. Can I respond?

No. I could know better than to say
anything that doesn't agree with your

opinion.

Can we get some cotton vinegar french
fries?

I want, like, some tequila. On the raw,
just a little lime would be good. We'll

get you some water as well. Yes, please.
Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.

I love your enthusiasm, but I'm a little
nervous and a little sad that you're

wearing this already.

This is gorgeous.

Should I get this?

Yes. Okay, I'm getting it. I gotta say,
I like it.

Daddy likes it.

I'll never refer to myself as daddy
again. I'm sorry. Please make me a

that you're not going to be like, oh,
this is making me nervous and take it

If there's hot chicks around, I'm going
to take it off. No, don't ever. No, you

can't. Okay.

How was Pandora?

How was the dynamic with you and the
girls?

Because Ariana was like...

She understands the bigger picture, and
maybe, like, she was a little cold. But

also, you guys admit stuff from the
story, too. Like, you guys don't tell

whole story.

It's hard for you to be objective. I was
there. You let your emotions cloud your

judgment. You were not. It was my bridal
shower. I'm not defending you, Ariana.

I'm just saying.

It was my f***ing day.

I was there. You were not. I'm not
listening.

I'm not defending.

I'm not defending.

This is my f***ing day.

Tom is enragingly charming. Everyone
thinks that he is just Mr.

Adorable and he's so sweet. But right
now, I'm not interested in dating Mr.

Adorable. I'm interested in dating Mr.
Good Fiance.

Let me guess, I'm not having your back
again.

For the last six years, I have been my
one and only support system.

Are you drunk?

Thank you.

I've been working myself to the bone.

Everything for this wedding.

I did not ask Ariana to be a prize
winner for any reason.

She is a self -entitled, elitist, like,
stuck -up

person.

Super cool, but I'm the one with the
problem.

I'm not okay with that. Sorry.

Knock that shit off. Okay.

Knock it off right now. Am I wrong?

No. I should know better than to say
anything that doesn't agree with your

opinion.

Alright. I can't tell you anything.

I can't tell you a damn thing.

You done?

Yep.

I cannot believe you're doing this to me
right now.

You definitely drank today.

Thank you.

All right, you too.

Next time on Vanderpump News.

She's back. I have limits.

And when I reach those limits, I will
explode.

Do you not realize we're leaving for the
basketball party in two days?

This is not good.

I want to thank you guys for giving me
this opportunity tonight.

I promise you, you let me down, I will
personally kick your ass.

Okay.

Hi. Do we have to earn them?

I'll show them.

It's Hurricane Tomcat.

For Katie!

The theme war of Vanderpump Rules, go to
bravotv .com.