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Previously on Vanderpump Rules... Oh, wow! Happy birthday, Saucy!

You, uh... Excited about Sonoma? It's going to be amazing.

I want to go and have a good time on your birthday.

Where's Lala?

I don't know.

Lala's basically just proving to me that she's shady.

I think it's best for me to walk away from this workplace.

Time to grow up and deal with it.

Bridesmaids! I thought that Ariana would be here. She doesn't even like being a

bridesmaid. We have to refold everything.

It's not organized.

Why are you still harping over me? Shut up!

You guys, stop bickering. I don't know how this turned against me all of a

sudden here, because I'm about ready to walk out two seconds.

Jiggy, you need to go on a Beverly Hills diet because I think you put on a

little bit of weight, fatso.

Let me look.

Oh, look at that. Come on, that is sexy.

Look at that.

And then you're going in your bag.

This is a boy bag.

It's a boy bag for a real man.

I've been passionate about dogs for years, so it's a bit of a dream, really,

kind of starting to go into doggy apparel, leashes and collars and bags.

People say I'm obsessed with dogs, and you know what? They're absolutely right.

Come on.

Hi.

Hey, guys.

Sorry about the craziness. No. There's a Harrison pop right in there. Yeah, it's

Harrison. Maybe I'm going to go.

Okay.

See you later. Guys, I'll see you later. I've got to go to the pump. Okay. Okay,

I have all the dresses that you wanted me to get.

Okay, great.

And I brought my assistant with me today. Your assistant.

We've had so many dresses over the years.

I mean, there's not a perfect dress for everybody, clearly. I find the perfect

dress, and this one doesn't like that, or this one prefers it. I feel like

putting them all in an orange jumpsuit.

Maybe Jack's has got one I could borrow.

This is a little... I don't like shoulders.

Oh, no, you don't like to sit up the side. There's a little bit of cleavage

I could try them on for you, just for visual aid.

I'll pass on that.

That's not form -fitting enough. No, but this is... That's like a tent.

That's the kind of thing I wear when I'm hiding something.

So this one wins?

Yeah, because it's a young, beautiful, you know.

Quarterling. Yeah. With a goal. With a D for V. And then on the back. How were

the trips? How did everything?

There was an RV.

There was fast cars.

That was the one tall trip. So much fun.

Way better than staying in a RV with each other.

This is who's absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah. Well, I hope so.

Yeah. I mean, it's not long now.

I'm having...

My bridal shower coming up? Right. It's like the first big wedding event of the

season. When are you doing that? Just coming with you. My bridesmaids have

planned my entire bridal shower and have not told me anything.

And unlike all the other wedding events this summer that are about me and Tom,

this one is just about me.

Well, and I also wanted to invite you to come.

Me to come? Yeah. My mom and my grandma are coming to town. Brittany's mom is

actually going to be in town, so I told her to invite her mom.

If you have time, I'll come by for a brief moment to have a glass of wine

you or a glass of champagne with you.

You working tonight?

No, I had to get my shift covered because Kristen is doing a sketch comedy

with improv later.

She's the least funny person I know. But I think you would actually be

pleasantly surprised.

You're kidding me.

Hey. Hi.

What? Looks like Blah Blah is trying to get her covered tonight. Uh -oh.

Tom's a pit.

They should be.

She didn't call or anything.

I heard Jax was being kind of a little dick. Just got in like these little

bickering, little arguments.

We got to get over this stage.

My mom is on the way. Just don't want us to bicker and stuff in front of her.

Oh, yeah.

Jax came home for Christmas last year. He was on his best behavior. He was

winning everyone over. But Jax needs to shape up and play nice because for now

my mom likes him and I would really like it to stay that way. He just likes to

hear himself.

talk or something.

Yeah. Obviously, you know, I'll always keep him in check for you if you need me

to knock him around a little. He needs to get his shit together.

Oh, I know.

Ooh,

you want this glass with change in it?

Sure.

Hi, guys.

What happened?

I'm going to be honest with you guys. At this point, I don't really feel like

I'm wanting to surround myself with people that I don't want to be around. I

love you.

I love you.

But the second I heard the list of people that were going, I had a pit in

stomach about it the whole time. The day before, you were like, I can't wait for

Sonoma. I can't wait to go.

Is this something where we're trying to put Lala into the lion's den? If anybody

said anything, you know.

That would have gotten shut down real quick.

We've taken a lot of grief and sticking up for you, Lala.

I know that. And this is how you're going to pay us by literally just

out last second? You couldn't even answer our text messages. We got an

from you after we already landed. You handled that really selfishly. I will

gladly pay you back for what you guys spent on my ticket. It's not about the

money.

So much planning, so much time, everything went into this weekend.

I'm not surrounding myself with people who don't bring out the best in me.

That's just what it is. You're not going to apologize for not showing up for

your friend's birthday? Why are you speaking to me? Why are you talking to

Because she's one of my best friends. You don't need to tell me that.

She can tell me that. Well, I think she has, and I'm reiterating it. Okay, well,

nobody's talking to you. I apologize.

I have a gift for you if you want.

That's what it is.

Yeah. All right.

Thank you, guys.

After this sorry -ass excuse for an apology, I think I'm good on Lala.

Maybe forever.

Don't need people in my life that are going to f*** me over.

Plain and simple.

That's right. Oh, I'm following you. I've been on a sketch comedy troupe with

three of my closest girlfriends.

Loving the no -weave look on you, ladies.

I feel like we've come a long way. Doing the main stage at the improv, I'm so

proud of us.

Ooh, we got front row seats here.

I am so excited to be here hosting Saturday Night Live.

What?

That's really embarrassing.

But comics drink for free, right?

No, you're not a comic. We're just kind of doing a show.

You guys, sorry. Yes, this is a comedy show, and I'm not a comedian, clearly.

My boyfriend gets really sick of hearing me talk, and I need an outlet other

than Snapchat to force an audience to listen to me. So, you're welcome.

Although, I was not invited up here, per usual.

I invite you all to laugh your asses off, get drunk, and don't take comedy

seriously.

So Kristen had a comedy show? Yeah, she did sketch in her free time. I take

sketch comedy very seriously, so it offends me when people just think that

can just do it.

I feel like Ariana isn't coming today because she doesn't want to take the

chance that she might, I don't know, laugh, enjoy herself, think I'm funny.

Kristen, your phone keeps going off. Yeah. What?

Okay, here it is again. Are you avoiding someone?

No. Do you have an embarrassing amount of dick pics on your phone?

You could spend hours deleting every single sausage, but let's be honest, who

has time for that?

That's where the Hung app comes in.

The hung ass detects the first sign of dick pics and automatically transforms

them into Pinterest -worthy works of art. Happy birthday, Kristen!

For me? Shut up! Where did you get this?

My ex -boyfriend.

Oh my god, you're so bad!

We transformed that slum shot into a Van Gogh starry night.

Uh, Rachel, your new painting is everything.

Yep, that's mine.

I just really wish that, like, Kristen would have gave me a heads up.

I just think it's really odd that...

You know, Kristen and Rachel are good friends with Britney, but yet they would

kind of go up on stage and use a picture of my penis in front of her.

Kind of a low blow.

Thanks, hung up!

Oh my God, it better not be.

They went on a porn site.

I definitely recognize that dick in that pic.

I mean, it's my boyfriend, of course I know what it looks like.

Jax was dating this chick, and, you know, he did what Jax does. He Jaxed

and she wasn't too happy about that. So she retaliated by tweeting a pic of a

dick pic that he had sent her, and then she, like, tagged all of his friends.

Sandoval looked at the pic and recognized Jax's shoes, and the rest is

It's a triumphant, glorious battle.

It's a nice day.

I'm not ashamed.

Porn stars model their penis after.

Or they model dildos after. I mean, I would be a really good dildo model.

Where's your drink?

I need one.

Bye.

I don't know if you realize this, but they used Jax's dick pic.

Are you serious?

In the show.

I'm trying to put myself in your position, and I would be easily upset,

really have to say, I'm so impressed with the fact that you can call out your

boyfriend's penis in a photo that's matched up with something else. No, I

recognize Jax's penis.

I mean, I wouldn't recognize any of my boyfriend's penises. They all look the

same. They're either like, or like.

We're like, mmm.

Like, hello, I'm dating this guy, and it's a dick pic.

You guys are my really good friends, and you couldn't even, like, give me a

heads up and, like, let me know that you were going to use a picture of my

boyfriend to be a thief before.

I want to, like, ask her.

It's actually a lot harder than I thought to just Google dick pic and find

penis photo.

All you get are a bunch of, like, old men politicians in navy blue suits.

I'm sorry that that happened. I had no f***ing clue about this.

How would you like it, Kristen, if I went on stage and showed Carter's penis

a crowd? I don't think you would like it very much.

Wow, this is actually really f***ed up.

Coming up.

For these girls to live in L .A. and never have been on a private jet, it's

like, I don't understand it. I mean, ask any bitch who's not ugly with tits.

Oh, there you are. Yeah.

Do you really want to see our dining room piggy bank or pink innocence or

princess? These are all wrong.

You're probably thinking of your future nursery, not my dining room.

Lisa is very particular.

And you shouldn't be buying these. You should show me these first. Then we

decide on it.

I wouldn't expect that from someone that owns a million restaurants and lives in

a castle with a moat. So you're working tonight?

Um, yes.

No, sorry.

I'm so tired. Why are you tired?

I went to Kristen's comedy show.

And what did Kristen do?

You know, they made up a pretend app that for single girls who get sent dick

pics, it will camouflage the dick into, like, a nice painting.

You can still see that's the joke is that you can still clearly see it's like

dick. Like, look, and you can send a happy birthday card.

You might as well be speaking a different language to me right now.

Kristen and Saucy are coming over. They texted that they're on the way because

we're going to listen to the podcast, which I'm excited about. Would you be

willing to take a sociopath quiz?

I'm a sociopath.

So that's why it was crazy.

I think it's fucked up.

You lied to me. I didn't mean to lie, but you understand why I did it.

I didn't want to make a scene, like, right in the middle of a comedy show.

He knows I'm not stupid. I'm not easily fooled. I could tell at first glance

that it was his.

I just don't get it. Like, don't lie to me. I don't care how big or how small.

You don't lie to your girlfriend.

Why would you send a picture of your genitalia to somebody?

Why would you? I don't know.

Explain to me, Katie. You know. That part of my life, like, never really

existed. I didn't get dick pics.

Nor did I. And I feel really left out.

Don't you guys look cute?

Sit down so the girls can sit on the couch.

Hi. You guys are matching. You match your apartment.

Oh, gosh.

Kind of a bone to pick with you, Missy. About last night with the dick pic

thing. Jax, I know, has a collection of them because they actually used one of

his dick pics. What do you mean?

So you saw it? The whole audience? Jax had...

Send the dick pic to some random girl or whatever she ended up tweeting it. He

just said it's not his. You can tell by his shoes.

Because if you take your picture down... It's already bad enough that I've had

relations with some of you girls.

It was last minute choice.

Last minute choice? It's a dick.

Why would you do that?

I honestly had no idea that that was happening. I know that Rachel and

of us even thought it was like... The whole room is looking at his penis.

So it's a really weird situation to begin, and I was very hurt by

it. I don't understand. You didn't click?

You girls are smart girls.

I feel like because all of us are so forgiving in this group of friends and

everybody's done so many crazy things and we fight all the time and all that,

sometimes it doesn't register.

I'm not going to lie. Like, I was super, super upset about it. But you guys both

also slept with him, too. So it's, like, added to the weirdness.

You guys, can we, like, seriously, though, just, like, acknowledge, like,

weird this conversation is?

My brain literally was just like, I don't know. We all think it's funny.

like, who hasn't seen Jax's dick?

So yesterday, Tom and Ariana confronted.

uh lala yesterday what did she say she was doing instead well she said i just

couldn't go because of you right because of me and tom my whole reasoning that i

can't say in her obviously is because of what she's done to katie but the way

that she went and talked so badly about him that's what drives me so nuts

honestly i think the only person that can factually screw lala over And the

thing that he'll ever be good for for the rest of his life is James Kennedy.

Having them turn on each other is great. I keep hearing that she's saying that

she doesn't even like James. She can't even stand James. And then when someone

showed me her Snapchat yesterday or the day before.

He was on Lala's Snapchat, so they were all hanging out. So I'm like, well, are

y 'all really friends or do y 'all really just hate each other and you're

pretending to be friends because neither of you have friends?

That's why I feel like we should find a way to sit him down and be like, dude,

what's up? I know for a fact Lala is dating a married man.

But she's been telling everybody, oh, she's dating a football player or that

she's single. It's always her word against mine.

So what we need from James is proof that she's a certified skank.

Okay, I normally never listen to the podcast at a time, so I'm just going to

play. I don't want to actually embarrass you right now.

What if it says, like, yes, you're a sociopath?

You know the funniest thing about this? After this, we came home and got drunk

and took the testing in.

I even changed my answers, and it still came out sociopath.

What's up with you?

Sup, how are you?

Good, how are you? Are you reading?

Yeah, a little music knowledge.

Yeah? Come on in. Come on in to the library.

Yeah. Actually, you want some ice cream?

I mean, I'll have ice cream, but I'm like a grown -ass woman. So do you have

liquor or anything else like that?

I don't. I haven't drank in a while.

I was the guy that would drink a lot and start yelling. But nowadays, the only

time I scream is for ice cream.

It's creamy, delicious.

It's pretty much everything that you want in your mouth.

Oh, my.

Yeah, leave it in the freezer for a while.

You don't have anything to drink, dude? Nothing?

A whiskey.

I've just been sitting in the fridge forever. You're going to take one little

half a baby shot?

I mean, I'm, like, just chilling right now.

What happened? You used to pop bottles every time I came over here. Now it's

like, ew, I'm just at home to hang it out.

Like... I've been working out a lot, tanning, getting a lot of music done,

know? What have you been doing? I heard you didn't show up for the f***ing trip.

What the f*** was that about?

My bag was packed and I woke up ready to go at 5 .30 and decided I don't want to

go anywhere.

Well, I could have gone because you didn't go.

I was at my ticket. You should have gone because I'm so far past giving a f***.

It's like, sorry.

What did you do in the meantime, though? I was with...

My dog at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Who pays for that?

Your mom really paying for it?

Yes, of course my mother's really paying for it.

She's a liar.

Your boyfriend is. Your sugar daddy.

And, you know, I'm not having any of it. I'm over it.

So you weren't with a guy at the Beverly Hills Hotel the whole time? I'm just

trying to grasp that. Because, like, if you were just sitting there alone, like,

why didn't I come and show? You've got to stop lying to your friends if you

them to trust you in the long run.

Um, I think...

I'm going to go with a few people to Malibu if you guys want to go. We're

to, like, take a helicopter and shit like that.

And I think we might be able to fit you in. It's going to be really fun and

super pretty. Like, the house is right on the water. And it has a helicopter

landing pad on the top.

The helicopter ride. Who pays for that?

This is, like, the only group of people that have so many questions. I'm a guy.

All the girls are the only ones that judge, like, that.

You can think that you're lying.

I'm just a guy. They are the only girls that I've ever met in L .A. where

they're like, how are you doing this? It's like, dude, that's just the way it

works in L .A. For these girls to live in L .A., Sheena her whole life, and

never have been on a private jet, it's like, I don't understand it. I mean, ask

any bitch who's not ugly with tits. I don't ask questions. You just go.

a bunch of fucking fun people.

That's just L .A.

Coming up, when you get married, it's a commitment to God.

All in due time. We've just been together, what, now a year and a month?

How long are we talking, do you think?

Oh, my God, if I could just, like, online shop right now, that would make

feel so much better. Like, my blood pressure would, like, go down. I know,

I'm like, hey, I'm, like, a step away from restraining order, but thanks for

meeting us.

Dotsie texted James asking him to meet up with us under the pretense that we

have something important to talk to him about. I'm not looking forward to seeing

James, but if this means that I can glala over that as the end goal, I'll

one for the team.

Hello.

Hello. How are you?

I'm great. How are you?

Well, this is awkward.

Hello.

Kristen and Stassi, you know, why do they want to meet up with me? They

want to gain some information on me, find out what my status is at working at

Xur again, find out why Lala didn't go to Sonoma, or...

Want a threesome with me?

Okay, so here's the bitch. I'm just going to be straight up about this.

Lala the hoe, she's a bitch, and she literally terrorizes Katie.

But it seems like you guys are really close and hang out, but then I know for

fact that she just does nothing but talk about you.

She said she does not like you. You guys are not friends. You girls behind your

girlfriend's back.

No one's ever told me that before.

Not Ellie or not like Tiffany or not anyone.

I don't talk to Ellie.

It's not like a secret. Nobody's being like, don't tell anyone.

Honestly, it's pretty dumb for Lala to be f***ing with me at this point when

she's the one with real s*** to be hiding.

Lala's definitely been acting like super strange to me lately.

Like, I've never met her boyfriend.

She is f***ing a married man.

But he's like, you know, hooked up a lot of stuff.

Yeah.

I was given this contract.

Shut the f*** up. I don't talk about, like... Confidentiality agreement.

Yeah. It's a legit non -disclosure agreement.

Lala's boyfriend basically rented this amazing house for Coachella.

Ticket, food, alcohol, weekend.

Only catches that you have to sign up.

In non -disclosure agreement, which basically states that I can't talk about

boyfriend at all.

Do you want to read it to me or are you going to hog it?

Social media, any forms of social media, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Twitter,

Facebook, magazines, books, newsletters, websites. But does it say his name or

does it just say her boyfriend? His name is not on this.

Did you sign an NDA?

No. I mean, I guess she's handing it out to other people and like telling them,

sign it. I'm sure Tom and Ariana have got one.

What?

They wouldn't have been allowed to stay in the house, so I would bet my life

they signed this NDA.

I have my suspicions about Tom and Ariana signing this NDA, because they

say a bad word about Lala.

Here's the thing.

I care about you.

Dude, Range Rover gives away cars every year.

I don't think she was the winner of the car.

Her life is none of y 'all's business. She works with her at Sir at a

restaurant. They defend and defend and defend her.

Why? Is that all, FBI agents? I've got work to do.

This actually has been great fun.

All right, later, guys.

Thank you. Bye -bye. For your services.

You got to hurry up. We got to get going soon.

Mom, you want to sit on the couch?

Hey, did I have to take y 'all to bed?

Hey, I slept with you. I didn't lose my bed.

I'm from a farm in Kentucky.

Very religious family.

I am really, really close to my mom.

I cannot wait for her to see, like, my life and, you know, how things are

different in L .A. compared to back home on the farm.

I think Jack just went to get his car keys because he lost his keys.

I hope he's bringing some coffee.

There's a few things that I don't tell her.

I don't tell her about all the fights that we have, and I don't tell her about

how good the sex is.

Wait, that sounds weird.

We should have went to the grocery store. You literally have nothing to

know. Sorry.

There'll be food at the private shower, though.

Hey, there he is.

I'm here.

Did you bring me some coffee?

I did not bring coffee. There's coffee here, no?

There's a Keurig there that we spent $200 on that makes coffee.

Brittany's mom is in town her few days, so...

Some things are going to have to take a back seat. What do you think of the

view? I love it.

Definitely different from where I live, but it's awesome.

No sex, no drinking, no cursing.

Definitely can't poop with the door open.

Stassi's Stassi's mom, Katie's mom and grandma.

Are you going to meet all the moms?

I want to meet your mother. That's the one I wanted to meet. You guys have to

meet. And I love Florida too, so I can just travel down there.

Oh, we'll come with you.

Because we're eventually heading down there. There's no way in God's green

I'm going to raise a family here. Never.

It's not going to happen.

And since we're on that subject, like, did you all ever get into a church?

A what? Did you all ever start going to church?

I'm not a big fan of going to the big churches where they blow the dust

everywhere. Blow the dust everywhere? What are you talking about? They have

big organs playing and the priest comes down and starts waving dust around. I

just can't relate to it, too.

Millions of years ago.

You need to come to my church in Kentucky. I go to a Pentecostal church.

Pentecostal? What the hell is that?

I've never heard of that.

Sounds like a cult.

When you get married, it's a commitment to your wife.

It's also a commitment to God. All in due time. We've just been together,

now a year and a month? How long are we talking, do you think?

How much did you spend on the Taco Bell?

Don't ask questions.

For Katie's bridal shower.

We've decided to rent basically this, like, mansion.

We want it to be fancy and special.

So if we have to spend a little extra money, that's fine. We want it to be

perfect for her. I have a million things outside.

So heavy.

Katie's wedding is so important to me.

I'm willing to put things in my life on hold.

I am here to make sure that her life.

It's so much easier.

That's planning the bridal shower, the bachelorette party.

If she needs me to pick up her dry cleaning, I'll do it.

Katie's really lucky. She has a lot of personal.

Everyone gets a bottle of tequila when they leave.

I'm really excited for this bridal shower. I mean, I wish I knew how much

costing.

This is beautiful.

It's like a dream come true.

Like, who spends $200 at Taco Bell?

I didn't even know that was possible.

I'm going to eat something right now because I haven't eaten today.

Kristen, I'm really glad you're here right now because I've been waiting to

Tina. What?

We met with James yesterday.

What? Lala gave him an NDA to sign.

But he said he hasn't signed it.

Yeah, but now I want to know who signed it. Tom and Ariana never, they always

used to talk about Lala. They're always like, that's not true. I don't know.

They wouldn't have signed one.

No way.

See, we're at Cotella. I just feel like I want to ask. Right.

Coming up. I like him. And I thought to marry him.

Yeah, I want to wish you luck with that.

Take me out here.

Don't want to hang around.

Let's take off.

Make it so downtown.

Where's the Hollywood sign?

Come on, I think we'll see it up here.

And Rodale Drive, where's that?

I'll take you there. Yeah, I want to go to Rodale Drive.

Bridal shower, here we go.

Maybe one day we'll have one.

I mean, you would really get me upset, like, if you brought, you know,

Brittany's out here, and it's years and years go by, and, you know. Oh, no, I'm

not going to waste anybody's time. And you've taken her out of Kentucky. You've

taken her away from all of her family.

Times are different. It's 2016.

It's not 1970.

It's not the 60s where it's. It's not like that anymore.

You're not in great mood, are you, Jack? No, I'm not.

It really would mean a lot if Jack would answer my mom directly.

Just let her know that you didn't waste my time and move me from Kentucky to L

.A. Just let her know that you do plan on having a family and being married.

say you do, but don't beat around the bush when my mom is asking.

Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.

They have kids and everything. They never got married.

They've been together. They're happy.

Everybody has kids.

Why do you guys still have marriages in there?

Time to take in for you.

I'm getting a little pressure from Brittany's mom. I don't know if I'm

tomorrow. I don't know if I'm ready in six months. I don't know if I'm ready

next year.

Thank you. You're welcome. I had to make some color decisions.

I love that.

That's so cute.

Thank you.

Ariana's milking this groomsman situation for all it's worth.

I think I want you to officially be a groomsman.

Oh, my God.

She does whatever she wants.

If she wants to go hang out with the boys, she goes and does that.

Now she wants to come and hang out with all of the bridesmaids. Katie didn't

want you here. She didn't want you here 0%, and you're here 100%. There's either

a deep driveway or a little baby step.

Grandma? Yeah, I can use the stairs, yeah.

They're coming, they're coming.

My bridesmaids have killed it. I mean, this house is gorgeous. There's all my

friends and family who I love.

There's cocktails.

And I cannot wait to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz.

Mrs. Bubba, you look so beautiful. It's a perfect outfit.

Even your nails look good with it. I painted them all the way here.

Hello.

Lordy.

Lisa's been instrumental and supportive, you know, with Tom and I and our

relationship. So for her to be here today and be able to take part in this,

means the world to me.

Taco Bell power!

Oh, my God, I could cry!

Taco Bell must end.

They need also to be, like,

verbally accosted, too. Probably. All right.

Good old El Coyote. This place never dies.

Welcome to El Coyote. Hi, thank you. We love it here.

Would you like something to drink?

Four shots of Don Julio.

Let's go.

Hey, buddy.

All right, let's do it. I had to drive the girls to Eagle Rock. The whole ride

there. Pretty mom. So when am I getting grandkids?

When are you going to tie the knot?

My parents would never say that.

Too much pressure for Jackson. He's going to, like, say he's got to run to

store, grab some stuff, and he's going to keep on going, man. We'll never see

him again until, like, his mug shots pop up on, like, the news or something.

Hi, Lisa.

Hi, honey. I wanted you to meet my mother.

Oh, I'd love to meet your mother.

Yeah, this is my mom. She just got here last night.

Hello. Hi, Lisa.

So nice to meet you.

My name's Sherry. Hi, Sherry.

I can't believe you're all in the same apartment.

How well do you know Jack, then?

Well, he's been down to the country a couple times, so... He's actually been

the way to Kentucky, hasn't he? Twice.

And how did Kentucky receive Jack Taylor?

I don't like to pick my chickens. I don't. I just don't. Look at those...

on, like, they're all there.

I like him. Enough to marry him?

She wants...

Brittany, to marry Jax? Has she met the real Mr. Jax Taylor?

When you're dating a girl from the South, they expect you to have kids and

marriage by 22 years old. I don't care. She has to understand where you're from.

Exactly, which is hell.

I want to get Jax into church.

Got to get him out of jail first.

I mean, he's a bad dog.

I mean, he does not belong in church yet.

So, what church do you guys belong to? Oh, no.

That's my worst nightmare. You should have done the Church of Scientology.

He's got a good soul.

He just gets a little bit lost in his direction sometimes.

I just hope he doesn't break your heart.

If he breaks my heart, I'm going to break his.

Why don't they put that in their wedding vows? If you break my heart, I'll break

your dick. There you go.

You're a braver woman than I am.

It will be fine, I promise. Really?

Yeah, I want to wish you luck with that.

Coming up. Actually, I don't get into fights with my friends.

Then I don't understand what you're doing. Because I care about Katie. I

care about you.

Thank you all very, very much for being here. It's just so, so very special, and

I thank you so very much. And Lisa, you were there, and you gave her the love

and support that she needed, so I am so grateful for you. Because I love her,

too. I don't love her as much as you do, but I love her.

I love her, and you know what? She's a credit to you. Thank you so very much.

What if you just took off and said, listen, I'm out of here. I'm moving back

Minnesota. I'm going to change my phone. No one will find me.

What if you did that? You guys all in? If you guys both agree to break up with

your girlfriends, I'll call the wedding off right now. No, no, I'm kidding.

I just don't like the concept of marriage, but I want to see Katie happy,

going to marry her.

So, this is your something new.

Oh, my God.

Blue. So, I got you something old and something blue, but their boat just

up being blue.

I should have just waited to, like, break up with Patrick until, like, after

wedding so I wouldn't have to, like, deal with this.

I'm going to be alone forever.

How does this go?

Oh, no, it's this way. It's this way.

See, this is why I don't wear lingerie.

It's inside out. It's inside out. Okay,

it's inside out.

How's that $500 flower budget go? Yeah, how was that? How much is it inflated

to? How much were you expecting to spend? $15 ,000.

$15 ,000?

At a certain point, you just learn it's not worth it to challenge your

significant other. There's guys who are like 15, 16. They go, listen, happy

wife, happy life. The woman's always right. They've been brainwashed over the

course of many years. I'm almost there.

This, I thought, would help you out. Because I know, you know, listen, I've

married 35 years this year. So I know sometimes it can be.

Idiot, I heard there was this lady that her name was Casey Oh

My god, she

has a tight realistic ass But you know, it's sort of

better and that's where I still prove it. It's kind of like a mix between me

you What we can check this blow -up doll without any guilt whatsoever.

I mean, it's bloody cool, Katie.

I mean, how wrong could that be?

Have you ever met a guy like this who said this?

God, I'm so happy I got married.

No!

Don't do it. No.

Here's to saving a lot of money on marriage.

Here's to marriage being the best new thing in my life. Oh, my God.

Talk to me in a year.

How was your flight? It was great.

You guys are, like, literally twins. I've seen so many photos of you, but...

Spitting image.

I don't think you know, but do you know what I found out about yesterday?

Kurt and I met with James. Why?

He did give some interesting information.

So we all heard that there was an NDA at Coachella, like a contract. Okay,

whatever. You can't talk about her boyfriend. That's what we all heard.

Yeah, no one was at the house. Are you still going to, like, pretend that this

guy wasn't there?

I saw Lala when we first got there. I said, hey, no, I never saw anybody come

by. Nothing.

I knew it was paid for.

I don't know by who.

There's no way that I ever read through a piece of paper, saw that I wasn't

allowed to talk about Lala, and then signed it at the bottom.

I didn't sign an NDA for Christmas. Yes, you did.

Ariana is displaying the telltale signs of lying.

She's choking on her words. She won't make eye contact and keeps looking away.

And she's, like, all fidgety and stuff.

I would not sign an NDA for... I think it's kind of f***ed up what she's done

a home. It's not really, like, all that nice.

What about the guy?

You saying that is defending her right there.

Lala, if you do it for about five minutes, and you know me for how long,

you're actually letting, like, you're just being like, well, I mean, yeah, I

love you.

I don't understand it. It doesn't add up in my head. You've said stuff about

her, too, though.

The thing that you only regret in life is not taking your top off more in front

of Tom Schwartz. I want to f*** him.

Like, really?

Ariana, she's going to be in my wedding. She's here at my bridal shower.

Lala has fat shamed me. Said she wanted to f*** my boyfriend.

She dissed Ariana on her birthday. So why the f*** is Ariana still defending

her? Especially to me.

Really, I mean, I know you can argue that Kristen has said unfair things

you. I can argue that to the cows. But that's a very different thing. That is

beyond delusional for you to even think or say. The idea that Kristen and I have

done equally bad things to each other is...

If I was in a long -term relationship with somebody and I was worried about

with one girl for years... We're not talking about that. Then what are you

talking about? We're talking about everything that happened from the

to the end. We're not talking about one thing. We're not talking about what

you're guilty of. That's one thing.

Okay. I'm talking about... But it's a major thing. Do you want to go through

whole list? You only want to talk about what she's done, but not what you've

done. Treating Katie like that's cool?

Okay. I don't know. Okay.

She said some really f***ed up s*** about Sheena before.

Ariana can't take responsibility for anything.

She doesn't care that she stole Kristen's boyfriend.

She doesn't care that Lala's dating a married man. And she sure as hell

care that she's ruining Katie's bridal shower.

Okay.

If you're going to compare that, that's pretty f***ing awful.

Alright. It's my f***ing bridal shower. I don't need to be upset about it.

I don't agree with what Lala said.

I don't think it's right. I don't think it's cool. But honestly, I'm not going

to sit here and lay down in front of a truck because of some dumb shit she

It's not that serious.

It's really not.

It is when it's hurt somebody. I'm not trying to be involved in like a group of

friends that like.

And don't fight like that. I do understand what she's saying, and I said

same thing. The three of you drink, and the way you fight, it's like sisters,

and you fight. We've all got in major fights where we haven't spoken for

sometimes years at a time. Actually, I don't get in fights with my friends.

I never did.

And I don't understand what you're doing. Because I care about Katie.

I don't give a f*** about you.

It's so rude. I don't really give a f***.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Kay.

Still to come on this season of Vanderpump Rules.

I can't believe it, really. They're all growing up, aren't they?

They can't break it!

No!

How are you getting on this, Jazzy?

She likes to try to tell people how to live their lives.

You hurt my feelings.

Like three times tonight. You're asserting your opinion as if... I should

listening to it.

Are you faithful?

Yes. Yes, I'm faithful to you.

He loses!

He slept with many, many, many women.

And a few men.

There was a rumor about you being a homosexual.

Well, I'm going to go.

You don't understand.

I don't understand what you've done. I was a cheater, I was a liar, I was a

stealer. I was everything.

I'm sorry.

Don't ever have that kind of emotion for me. It was really awkward and it really

made me sad.

This is a day that we've all been wasting, Paul.

Well, Katie has also been using her wedding as a... As leverage.

The only thing that's impossible is how you still haven't figured this out.

We've all seen the wrath of Tequila Katie.

It's vicious. Yeah.

I don't want to sit in a car with you again. She's mean and aggressive and

irrational and sends me all these mean messages.

You could lose each other if you keep going the direction.

He's a f***ing battered wife.

Look at him.

My fiancé cheated on me.

Get over it. It really has worried me that you're making the right decision.

What the f*** is going on here?

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