All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S5E08

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I don't talk about it with anybody.
Like, oh, how's Patrick? I love him. I

he loves me. Have you ever been to a
NASCAR race before?

No. But I want to go.

And there's one in Sonoma. We have to do
it.

I'm done gossiping about her. It's not
about Lola!

It's not about her! You cannot accept
that you suck.

Oh, my God.

I'm supposed to fly across the country
with you in a week? How am I supposed to

do that? You're supposed to be our best
friend.

You are not working for me any longer.
You've got to sober up.

never forget the first time we met you
me and grandma talk about this all the

time we immediately fell in love with
you as long as she's happy they do a lot

of this is good this is really good how
much did you stay in a budget i wanted

to i wanted to keep it you know under
like 15 until we find out like our final

counts and stuff that's gonna obviously
like Change the number.

I was born and raised in Park City,
Utah.

And four years ago, my parents
separated.

And so my mother moved to Las Vegas to
be with my grandma. Because I have to

hand stuff all of these invitations,
they came here to help with that. Okay,

here we go.

Here's my pile. I always knew that for
my wedding invitation, I wanted...

it to be something that was a keepsake.
So I came across this tea towel idea to

have the wedding invitation printed on
the towel, and I thought it was

beautiful. Katie was looking.

Oh, hi.

Welcome to the party.

Do you guys want a glass of wine? I
didn't realize it was going to be a

like this. No, a tea towel. It's $18
.50.

That is so much money for a rag.

Bobby, I got to get out of here. You did
an amazing job. Where are you going?

I got to go get my suit consultation.

Oh, really?

Spoke. Bye, baby. Love you. Bye, bub.

It's like folding stir napkins all over
again.

And then, but wait.

Wait. And then, oh, it's just that
simple. Okay. Like this, and then when

flip it over.

Yep. Very cool.

You guys, Peter text out of left field.

This is so funny. Lala having a rover,
et cetera, like a Range Rover.

I go, holy shit. He goes, yes, I think
it's hilarious. He gave her a car.

LOL. He gave it to her? I go, oh my God,
Peter. He goes, yeah, I know.

Wait, does he know that for a fact?
Because she just said her NFL boyfriend

it to her.

She actually has a Range Rover separate
source. A totally separate source.

Totally separate because now we have
like seven separate sources that don't

each other. There's a conspiracy that
everyone is telling the same lie.

So tell me about the Range Rover.

Lala's trying to choose and everyone is
lying. My son had one that was $7 .50 a

month. Release it.

Katie, $750 a month. Uncle Al had a
Range Rover. What? So who's paying the

a month? Her married boyfriend.

It's all about this.

I've never dated a rich dude before.

Imagine all the presents I could get.

Probably take, like, helicopters and
stuff.

Something to consider.

I have the deeds for our Montauk trip.
Tell me what we're doing in three days.

Staying at the Montauk Yacht Club Hotel.

And there's, like, a private beach, a
bar, and a pool.

So we just have, like, free reign to
just, like, chill and do whatever.

Really? I think Kristen is excited about
going to Montauk, but I know Kristen

has no idea what Montauk is. Literally,
the only thing I know about the

Hamptons, Pop Daddy, Bethany Pringle.

We'll get, like, the full experience in
one week. Okay, so what am I going to

pack? Like, Palm Springs -y? No.

Stripes.

How many Hamptons are there? I mean, if
it's plural, like, are there two, three?

Like, there's more than one. Are there
many?

Do I need to prolong this vacation to
visit all of the Hamptons?

I haven't heard from Gina. I don't know.

You don't know who she's lying about.
Well, I don't know. Like, I know she's

being, like, an asshole, but if she
decides not to come and to go to

instead, that decision is going to have,
like, a huge effect on everything else.

It's like, are you also going to not
want to be a bridesmaid? Is Katie going

want you to be a bridesmaid? This is
like the opposite of bridesmaid

Yeah, it really upsets me when you...

guys are in arguments because they know
how much how close you are and how much

you love each other and really
especially people are assholes too yeah

don't react don't respond don't
encourage okay what if we let it go i'm

you there's gonna be some major drunken
explosion and that is scary

someone's gonna end up in jail again i'm
not trying to like get away with just

because i'm getting married why not try

Good morning.

Good morning.

Teamwork.

You know we're married when you know how
to do the throw pillow.

I know how to throw pillows, but I
don't... They just sit there all day and

you take them off.

Then you have to put them back on.

Yesterday was fun.

I can't have a conversation with three
drunk girls when I'm...

Dead f***ing sober. I had a total of one
and a half drinks from start to finish

yesterday. I'm sober, and they're all
probably ten drinks in. When Katie

she's a dick.

She's mean. She's insulting.

She's irrational.

Like, I'm really upset.

They're allowed to go crazy, express all
their feelings, but you can't. Because

I'm a pushover, and I'll forgive them.
They know that.

If I'm so unhappy, unhappy, I apologize
for untrue statements.

You were trying to make me look bad.

I've sat here and listened to them for
you, tell you how to act.

How to feel. You shouldn't be mad at
this. Oh, you should be upset with this.

You have to feel the way they feel or
whoever's in charge at the time. Stassi

ran that bitch for a while. Now it's
Katie.

Dude, friendships don't work that way.
It shouldn't be that hard. But I'm just

trying to make sure Katie's happy. And
I've just kept my mouth shut for a while

because it's just easier.

At this point, I don't even know why
Stassi and Katie are so mad at me. Like,

I've literally done everything Katie has
wanted me to do when it comes to Lala.

I blew her off.

So how was everybody's weekend?

I'm, like, really not trying to be a
bitch.

It's just, like, Katie is one of my best
friends.

The conversation, it just makes me
uncomfortable.

My apology was bullshit.

It's like, everything I do right, they
still find something wrong with it. What

I think you have to do is just don't
talk to them. Nothing. Don't respond.

do anything.

And they're going to realize how much
they miss you and how, like, maybe knock

some sense into them that they do need
you.

I don't even know what to do about this
trip. Like, I don't know if Stassi's

going to disinvite me.

They're just bullies, dude. They are.

Yeah.

After you stop laughing, you gotta laugh
first and then feel bad.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Oh, buddy's here.

How are you, my friend? Oh, yeah. How
are you feeling? Thanks for coming,

Yeah. A lot better. Yeah, it's a pretty
big deal for me. Like, first gig away

from Palms and Sir. I'm on Sunset
Boulevard in between the Whiskey A Go

the famous Roxy. I love DJing. That's my
passion. And if I can't do it at Sir

and Palms, then I'm going to go do it at
the next place that'll hire me and show

Lisa that I can be the best.

So things are looking up. I've got to
stay focused, you know? All right, let

make this, guys.

Cool. Do your thing, man. Do your thing.
We'll get a drink.

We'll see you in a minute.

This is way more better than Sir and
Pump put together.

Ooh. Yeah, I'm a fighting mother... I
always worry about my friends getting

comfortable in certain positions. So I
look at it as him getting fired from Sir

was almost like a blessing.

He's now...

working at a different bar. He's booking
other DJ gigs.

I'm extremely proud of him. This is the
only thing I've had tonight.

Something? Yeah. That gets me. No, just
one. This is the first drink I've had.

Oh, good for you. Haven't even finished
it. I've been sober for like a while

now.

I've been drinking. Sober for what?

I mean, who's counting but nine days?

Oh, so you're just sipping scissor now?

You're not sober.

I take like...

One sip every, like, hour, it coats my
throat. Just because James isn't

back shots of tequila, it doesn't mean
he's sober.

I mean, if you're chugging the poor
man's fizzer, you're still getting s***.

What's up, girl?

Hi, Tom. How you doing?

Good, how are you?

So, yeah, you excited about Sonoma? It's
going to be f***ing amazing.

I'm so excited.

Ariana has invited me to her birthday
party, which is... Different from last

year when I didn't get an invite. How
was the birthday? Did you all have fun?

my gosh, it was amazing.

Did you have fun?

I wasn't invited.

It sounds awesome. I mean, we're going
to wine country and everybody loves

And NASCAR, where everybody's just proud
to be an American.

Okay, so who's on the final list?

The four of us.

Okay. Four.

Jax and Brittany.

Okay. And know that Jax was saying, you
know, I just don't like Lala.

She's a f***ing liar.

Jax is a f***ing asshole.

But f*** it. Ariana's my girl. She
invited me on this trip. So I'm going to

it up and I'm going to go. Even if that
means there's no conversation, like we

don't speak one word to each other,
that's what is going to happen. I want

and have a good time on your birthday.

At the end of the day, it's what it's
about.

Yeah.

Coming up. Oh, see, in my opinion,
always make things work. Okay, that's

insulting.

These are my thoughts and my feelings
and my opinions. Mine.

Hello.

Nice. I'm ready to work out. My
relationship with Jax is...

It's complicated.

Jack and I are kind of like stepbrother
and stepsister who may have slept

together twice.

What's up with my chest?

What's wrong with it now? Oh, I got to
have surgery again. I got lumps in my

chest again. It came back.

No more.

These cysts are caused from taking a lot
of supplements and screwing up my

testosterone and estrogen levels. So it
was my fault. It was my doing. What is

all of this?

Oh.

A hardening cocktail.

Dude, you're an idiot.

No. Seriously?

It's not like I'm on drugs. This is
drugs.

Do you want to lump on your chest?

Take these.

But I'm not going to do anything rash.

Like, stop taking supplements
completely.

Does it hurt right now?

Yeah, it hurts when I wake up in the
morning. So I can't punch you. Anytime I

have a drink, alcohol -producing
estrogen, it hurts my chest.

So you're going to stop drinking?

Am I going to stop drinking? No.

Have fun, you guys.

All right.

Summer bod.

Summer bod. Summer bod.

More dad bods. More dad bods. Squad.

Squad goals.

I just went to bed about an hour ago.
We're going to go two to a bag?

Switch my boobs.

You need to wear a sports bra. I know.
Come on, we got five seconds.

To the bell, to the bell. Pick it up,
pick it up.

Good job, guys.

Nice work.

Nice work.

Woo!

Thanks for inviting me to this hell
class.

You're welcome.

What's going on with you and Carter?
Everything good in paradise?

Yeah, good.

He's easy, but he gets...

He gets mad because he's out of town so
much, and then I bitch that he's out of

town because I'm like... Well, you
finally have a boyfriend that has a real

I know, and I love that, and I love that
he loves what he does, and it's, like,

really f***ing hard. You finally have
real relationship problems.

Yeah. So, Ariana invited us to her
birthday in Sonoma.

It's, like, wine country. I mean, I
can't think of anything worse than going

NASCAR with Tom and Ariana and Lala.

What are we supposed to do? I'm not
really thrilled about the idea that

coming on this birthday trip. The things
that Lala said about myself and my

friends are unacceptable.

I

mean,

you can't take those things back.

She and I and I know Katie and Sheena
are all going to go.

Of course. Of course Sheena is left out
of your group. She's so afraid of being

left out of your little poppy. Are you
kidding me? She's walking on tiptoes

around you girls. No. It's 100 % true.

Not anymore. Yeah, absolutely.

She's so afraid of being left out of
your little group.

I don't think Sheena's fake. I think
Sheena is very image conscious. I think

that she just doesn't like to be judged.

So she's willing to do almost anything
to get approval.

Thanks for inviting me to this, even
though I'm hungover.

I feel like I sweat it out, all that
vodka.

I'm going to go home and drink vodka.

I've been an assistant to people before,

but being Lisa's assistant, the grunt
work is not so grunting.

Oh, my God.

It's so sexy.

It's almost as nice as Lisa's backside,
right?

Two hot butts in one car.

Wow,

look great. Look at it. Oh, just keep
it.

Just take it like a little bonus.

I like the way it sparkles when the sun
hits it. I know, it looks beautiful.

I mean, short of having the whole car
pink, which obviously I'm tempted to do.

Anyway, all right, then, well, thanks so
much. Oh, my God, I'll miss you. I

usually just get a summer bikini or a
new pair of sunglasses, but Lisa gets a

summer car.

This is the first official invitation
I'm giving someone.

Okay, let me look at this, okay? Yeah.
Go down there. I mean, that looks quite

kind of bohemian, really.

Wow.

This is so unconventional. It's
different. It's unique.

Maybe not quite what I would have
chosen.

Oh, I love that.

Do you love it? I love it. Look at that.

That is so cute. That makes me feel so
much better.

It's unique, and I like that.

There's some drama with the girls.

It's just with Gina.

It's just hard.

We've really tried with her to make her
feel that this is not four years ago.

from with me when you want to make it
about my happiness and I'm so unhappy.

Katie, in the last six months, you've
gotten angry like Tequila Katie again.

See, I got the impression that you had a
couple of drinks and sent her a long

kind of aggressive text.

I know Sheena loves you. And I love
Sheena as well. You've been getting on

well with her and suddenly Stassi comes
back in the future. No, it's not Stassi.

It's not Stassi.

All the roads always lead to Miss
Schroeder.

Trust me.

Darcy, in my opinion, always makes
things worse, not better.

She's trying. No, she's actually trying.
I wouldn't mind, Bethany. She's trying

to wind you up as well.

These are my thoughts and my feelings
and my opinions. Mine.

Is it Casey?

Because you have to be guilty.

Okay, that's insulting.

I can think for myself.

Morning. Hi.

How are you? You were my nurse, too. I
know. I remember.

Okay, just bring that back up when
you're done. Okay. I want to make this

clear that this is not a breast
reduction.

A lot of men have this, especially a lot
of bodybuilders. When they're taking

supplements, some of the supplements
counteract with their body, and it

gynecomastia. But I feel like we're here
every day. I know.

We had my nose job.

We're here for real life.

You had your boob job.

Oh, this is so nerve -wracking.

Just relax.

Before you know it, we'll be done. All
right.

Then I had to redo my nose job because I
walked into a wall. I run like this,

boom. And so I got a good 10 stitches in
my forehead.

Are you nervous?

Yeah, I am actually.

I think this is the one I'm most nervous
about at all of them, believe it or

not. I'll be there to take care of you.
Everything will be fine. Don't be

worried. They know what they're doing. I
feel like I get one of those punch

cards, you know?

Five surgeries, get to pick from three.

I know.

Hey. Hey.

Hello. Good to see you.

Hey, good to see you again.

It's getting to the point where it's
starting to bother me, so I've got to

this out.

Perfect. Listen, we'll take care of it
today. I'm nervous. I want to get this

out. Get this done. We'll be okay.

Yeah, you're going to be fine.

Come on, let's head back. All right. I
am very nervous for the surgery. You

know, they're cutting right over my
heart. Well, for this time, we'll get it

all, and I won't have to go through this
again.

Here's your bed.

Eight o 'clock on the dot.

Perfect. All right. What we'll do is
we'll take the time. And scoot up just a

little bit further.

It'll be done before you even know it.
For you, it'll seem like five minutes.

Do an arms at 90.

Okay, let's do it. Okay.

I'm going to make an incision.

817. But he's got this hard disk of
breast tissue, so we're going to try to

this out as one complete disk.

All right.

Here it is. We'll send it to the
pathologist to ensure it's not anything.

I mean, pretty sizable amount here.

Coming up. You're going to know that.
Yeah. You see, things like that, people

are going to ask questions. Well, I
don't like questions, but I like people

being jealous.

Okay. All right. Well.

You're all done with surgery.

Hi. Hi.

Hi, baby. The other side.

Hi.

Hi.

You feel okay?

Yeah.

You did great, man.

We got everything out, sent it off to
the pathologist just to make sure. I

you're going to be happy.

So as far as post -op instructions, you
know, while he's on pain medicine,

especially for the next couple of days
to a week, Let's avoid alcohol.

Yeah. You know, here we go again with
the no drinking.

How do you go to wine country and not
have a glass of wine? I mean, how do you

go to a NASCAR race and not funnel a
beer?

Otherwise, he's going to do great. Thank
you so much. You're welcome. Have a

good day.

You too.

I think now we're just going to get you
home.

I texted your mom, okay?

As long as it helps.

Hey, Lala.

Hi, Lisa. How are you? Oh, my God. Look
at those nails.

They're my fighting claws.

Oh, right. Well, hopefully there won't
be any fighting.

Yes, I haven't needed to use them. Okay,
good.

Yes. You look very pretty. Thank you.
Have you got silts on or something?

I do.

Okay. You're going to be able to work on
those. Oh, they've got red bottoms as

well. Yeah.

You see, it's things like that. People
can ask questions.

Well, I don't like questions, but I like
people being jealous.

Okay, all right, well.

The red soul is like a red flag to me.
It is Christian Louboutin.

500 bucks, not for a pair. One.

Either this girl is spending all her
money on shoes and Hermes bracelets and

paying her rent, or there's something
else going on. You're working this

weekend?

I got my strips covered because, you
know, it's Ariana's birthday, so a few

us are going to Sonoma. You're going to
Sonoma?

Yes. Okay.

Well, it should be fun, right?

Yeah. I mean, I'm just trying to slowly
work my way in and show that I'm not

that bad, but we're in very tight
corners.

Ariana has told me that we are going to
be staying in a cabin with one bathroom

that I'll be sharing with Jack.

Jack, what the fuck are you doing?

I'm sorry.

Tom. Jack, don't run away from your
feeling.

The fourth.

Oh, my God.

I.

You created your bed, so you're going to
lie in it. You like to create a little

problem, so you've got to deal with it.
I know, that's the problem.

I have a certain amount of sympathy for
Lala, but she's definitely provocative.

She likes to create a situation, then
she likes to be the baby girl. Life

doesn't work like that. Kill everybody
with kindness. I wouldn't take your top

off at the NASCAR race if I were you.

Got it.

Anyway, I have to go. Okay, thanks for
listening to me. Have a good time. Thank

you.

How are you? Pretty good. How about
yourself?

Very well.

Would you like a refreshment?

I'm fine with water right now. Me too.

We'll do a couple of things and we'll
put it in.

Raquel and I have so much in common.

We're going to do the rock stream,
please.

We like to...

Eat food.

I'm competing for Miss Malibu in a few
months.

Oh my god, that's already coming up.
Yeah, it's coming up fast, so I have to

start training and practicing walking.

Are you nervous?

Not yet. I mean, it's so hard to walk in
six -inch heels in a bathing suit on

stage in front of so many people, you
know?

How do you walk? How do you do that?
Well, for bathing suit, it's more of

a...

happier, like, St.

Victoria's Secret walk, you know? You
know, living in L .A. when you're

beautiful and young, you know, there's
really no excuse.

If you're going to have a girlfriend,
you know, she's going to have to be hot.

Can I kiss you?

Yeah. Of course. Always.

Love you.

Love you.

It's funny, no matter, like, how many DJ
gigs I get, you know...

They're all, like, around these clubs
and venues and lounges around L .A., and

it's like I've been working for Lisa for
three years, and it's just been taken

away. I took it away from myself, and it
breaks my heart. That's my fan.

It's like my family.

It's been basically kind of hard for me
to realize what the next step is in my

music. Did you get your job back at
Pump?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You know, I think I'm going to
see her tomorrow. I'm going to come

with a more mature present and really
explain to her, listen.

What can I do to maybe get my job back?

At the end of the day, I'm happier at
Pump. I'm happier at CERN. Oh, yeah, I

tell. You've been upset the past few
days.

Between, like, my parents going through
all the drama this year and me getting

fired from CERN, it's a lot to handle at
once for me. Like, my other mum is,

like, telling me that I'm not working
for her anymore.

And I won't stop.

I really don't know if I could stop.

What else could you do?

If she says no tomorrow, then I'll...
You know I'll be asking next month or

month after that.

Hensley! Hi.

Hi.

Oh.

I hurt my knees.

Just lay over here on the couch and I'll
get some pillows behind you.

How about that?

Jack does not deal with pain well
whatsoever.

If he cuts his hand, it's like the worst
thing in the world.

Babe, are you hungry?

I see it so bad. It's not going to look
right for a while. He said that first

it's going to be like concaved in.

What? Until the swelling goes down.

Concave? Yeah.

I got all your medicines here.

You want a sandwich and some soup?

I'll do a bowl of soup.

A little grumpy. He's really needy. He's
constantly asking me for food. So

pretty much he's exactly the same.

Who's here?

Watch out. Conehead's coming out.

Hey. Hey.

What's up?

How you feeling? You look pretty good
compared to how you usually look. Yeah,

dude. Dude, it's become routine for us
to comfort you after jail and after

surgery. Whoa, a donut.

Is that blood, dude?

No, it's jelly. It's a jelly donut.

What? I'm like, do I get a punch card?
Yeah.

Hey, by the way, they're going to look
great. And me and Tom thought it would

nice to get you.

You can pull it out. You're finally
going to look good in that.

Yeah. Not going to have those droopy man
boobs anymore.

I know.

They're nice and firm. What do you mean
droopy man boobs? Oh, my God. Why is it

so small?

This is hilarious.

We had to get you.

Oh, my God.

This is awesome.

This is for Brittany. Oh, yeah, that's
the one you want to get. Oh, no.

That's great. No, do not get Jack's
back.

We got Jack's service belt kind of a
joke, but I feel like he's going to

that thing, having Brittany weighing in
him hand and feet.

Dude,

look at that service knife. It's got the
bra built in it.

You can be in style and be supportive at
the same time, you know?

You're one of the rare couples that have
both had breast augmentation. Male

-female couples. Yeah. That's a rare
combo, dude.

Hey, you guys ready for Sonoma? Are you
going to be able to? Yeah. As of right

now, I feel good. I feel fine. I should
be fine by Saturday.

I mean, I'm obviously not going to be,
like, going crazy, but I'm going to go.

You're definitely going to be going
crazy. Is Sheena still going on the trip

with the girls and everything?

I have no idea what's going on. Is
Sheena still living with her or no?

Nah, I stayed clear of that one. For
reasons, because I'm trying to keep

calm at the wedding.

You know, I don't want her to get riled
up.

Let's give her some tequila.

Well, she's good now with that.

Until she's not.

Until she's not.

Coming up. Stay out!

of what other people's business, not
your business.

That's your problem. You get into other
people's business. Tell me that's my

problem. That is your problem.

Who's that?

Hi. Hi.

Look at your haircut.

You're so chic. I love it.

This is cute.

Nikolai is my 11 -year -old brother.

He's in fifth grade.

He's actually the sibling I'm most
closest to.

Here's the deal.

You always cannot be shy of girls. She's
just a human, not like a wolf or snake.

You just have to listen to that advice.

I will. I'm going to take it to heart
for our little man.

I'm a little scared of you.

Why do you have a candle on?

Mom, I'm so sorry that I'm not
successful enough to have central air.

is crazy.

Aren't you a Florida fan?

Well, there's, I mean, that.

So, like, I didn't think I had to buy a
fan.

I can't sleep in this. I have to.

I'm going through menopause. I don't
like when you guys sleep over anyway

because I don't like sharing beds. Well,
is it okay if you don't like sleeping

over with me?

Well, you promised we'd snuggle tonight,
so. Yeah. The only things I snuggle

with are my boyfriend, Tilo, and my dog.

Is that my wine?

Um, I will get you wine, but we can
share that right now.

Yeah, okay.

It's 100 degrees out. I'm sorry that I
don't essentially see.

Really?

He's calling me. No, I can't answer
that. Who's answering? Who's FaceTiming

Haley. Haley?

Don't answer it!

I have such a crush.

He does. Oh, my God. He freaked out.

I know. I saw her face for like a split
second, and it looked like he was just

murdering because of the way that he had
to shut it off, which I'm okay with.

She's pretty. Here, take this and go
into my room.

How many people does Katie get to invite
to the wedding? Because your brother

wants you to take him.

Oh, meaning like in case Patrick and I
aren't together?

Well.

Well, this week Patrick and I aren't
together.

Okay.

I don't like telling any of you guys
this every time we break up because I

to see how many days it's really going
to last because I know that everybody

makes fun of me now when I say that we
broke up. It's kind of normal for you

Patrick. You know, for the last two
years, this has become a pattern.

There's not like a major move to like...

come and win me back or something.

Like, I'm going to Montauk, and if a
dude comes up to me, I will entertain

I'm not going to be like, bye.

I know I talk about Patrick and I
breaking up all the time, but this time

very serious and very real.

And Sheena's gotten in a fight with all
of us. It was so bad that we have not

spoken since.

It's going to be fun.

Can we get two gel pedicures, and then I
just need a polish change.

Sure.

It's so hot.

I know.

It's 100 here. It's like 110 at my
house.

I know. Yeah, but you have air
conditioning.

I know I do. I do not. Yeah.

I think there'll be so many options.

I'm going to do this one.

You said that's a gel, right?

Yes. Okay.

I've never had gloves like this.

I know. What's that on your stand? I
don't know. It's very easy. Okay.

Protect my hand?

I'm tired.

It's been a long couple days.

Have you talked to Stassi or Katie the
last couple days?

No?

Not since the party?

I, like, woke up Saturday and I'm like,
damn it, I wish that was just a bad

dream. I know. And I could have woke up
and been like, oh, everything's fine.

No. I was downstairs when Stassi came
running down crying and locked herself

the bathroom.

What was she crying over?

She just came in and she was screaming
and she's just like, I freaking hate

Sheena and Ariana right now.

I just don't know how things get so
blown out of proportion.

You don't think in any way Katie's so
mad that she would kick you out from

a bridesmaid? I mean, I would certainly
hope not.

Don't.

Demote me from the bridal party. Like, I
just don't even know where I stand with

my friends right now, and it's giving me
anxiety.

You guys are going to Montauk this
weekend, right? I mean, I'm clearly not

allowed to go to Sonoma, so do I have a
choice?

We've already gotten NASCAR tickets.

We already had to get passes, and to get
passes, we had to give names.

Like, you can't come with us.

That's why I need to fix it. Right, and
you do, and you will, but just fix it

soon.

Surprise me.

We hope.

Nikolai!

What? Come here.

I need to ask you advice.

Did you start the fight?

I don't remember who started the... It's
beer.

It's just beer. Did you guys go to a bar
that night?

Well, we drank, but we didn't go to a
bar.

How much did you drink?

A lot?

That's not fair.

Sheena said stuff to Katie that was
really mean. Things that, like, you just

don't say to your friend. If you're best
friends, we don't do that. We want to

support each other. And so I was very
upset about all of this. And then I

that Sheena was saying things that were
like... Stay out!

Of what's other people's business, not
your business. That's your problem. You

get into other people's business. Tell
me that's my problem. That is your

problem. Sometimes people don't know
when they should apologize.

So I need to tell Sheena that she did
something wrong and she needs to

apologize. She needs to figure that
herself.

You're not the boss.

You're not the boss.

Yes, I am.

What are you even saying?

Okay, fine.

Nikolai gives great advice.

He's like 11.

I'm not going to listen to him.

If you beat Bossy and it's always your
way, people are not going to like that.

Okay.

Coming up. Ready to go.

Yeah. All the ducks are in a row.

So we're all on the same flight.

I'm nervous.

Hey, look at you.

Hey. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Today's Ariana's birthday.

Last year, Ariana wanted one thing, and
that was for me not to go to Vegas and

drive bulldozers. Apparently, he told me
that we're going to a construction yard

and we're taking bulldozers and, like,
crushing shit with bulldozers.

This year, I've organized the best trip
a girl from Florida could ever wish for.

Oh. It's socks from last time. Sweet.

And that is NASCAR, but with a twist.

Ready? A motherfucking RV.

Why not?

Rip! Ooh, come in.

Hey! Hello!

What's up?

How are you guys?

Happy birthday!

Thank you!

Happy birthday.

Thank you. Hey, we had, like, a really
cute balloon, and it flew away. I felt

bad. I was like, this is so lame.

Here's a box of tequila. I like it.
Thank you. Can you guys believe that we

leave tomorrow?

You know, I didn't want to have the kind
of birthday where having to get dressed

up and doing makeup all the time and
wondering, like, am I cute enough? Am I

wearing the right outfit?

I mean, in short, I didn't want to be in
Montauk. I won't be there.

Listen out.

You guys are going to have so much fun,
though.

This is the second year in a row that I
haven't been invited to Ariana's

birthday. And last year, I kind of get
it. We weren't as close.

But this year...

I feel like everybody else wants me
there except Jax. And that little bitch

getting his way again. Everything is all
ready to go.

Yeah? All the ducks are in a row. Has
Jax had, like, an issue with me coming

your birthday?

No. Not that I know of.

Jax sometimes says things that no one
should pay attention to. Said a lot of

things. Are you crazy? Are you
delusional? Nobody wants to be your

up. You're nobody. You're nobody. Let's
play some more Range Rovers.

Yeah. You guys just know how his, like,
bullying ways work.

I've seen the way these people have
treated each other. They're best friends

day, and they want to kill each other
the next.

I won't be there to, like, snap back at
him either. He'll be able to talk all he

wants. Yeah, but nobody really is going
to want to hear that. I'm nervous.

All right.

What's up, man? What's up, mate? You all
right? Good. How are you? Pretty good.

Is your mum in the VIP?

Where is she at? Yeah, she's in the VIP.
I'm going to go say hello to her.

All right.

Hi.

Oh. Hello.

How are you? Yes, James, I'm fine.

I'm busy.

I know. I just wanted to come in and,
you know, um... What is there to talk

about? I just wanted to say I miss
working for you. You know, I really love

and Ken so much. You know, I did take
what I had for granted, and I f***ed it

up, you know, and I'm going to take my
initiative. Just even then, I don't want

you to use that language with me.

That's disrespectful.

You're right.

I think I actually did you a favor.

I don't think so.

Lisa should hire me back, not only
because I've been better being sober and

stuff. Quite frankly, I'm the best DJ
she's had it, sir. I mean, I know the

talent I have. I know the hours I've put
into becoming the expert that I hope to

become one day.

Well, I don't care what you think. I'm
telling you, I kind of brought you back

to reality.

Let me tell you this. You were an
arrogant little punk.

And look at me, do I look like somebody
that employs an arrogant little punk?

No, but you have done in the past with
Jack.

I'm not saying Jack displays exemplary
behaviour, but in his workplace he's

never been disrespectful.

That's a lie.

That's not true. So you're calling me a
liar? No, but that's not true. So you

come in here and you use the F -bomb and
you call me a liar and you expect me to

give you the time of day. I was not
trying to do that. I'm saying he's not

disrespectful to me. You have been
disrespectful to me. You can't stop

My life is actually better without you
in it. I'm being honest. It's less

problematic. I just want you to know
that I'm not drinking right now and

Been hanging out with Max and he's seen
a small difference in me since we've

been hanging for this week. But a week
is nothing. A week in the big picture is

nothing. I don't want to do it anymore.
It's already really ruined a lot of

opportunities for me already. I'm still
DJing, thank God, and doing things. I

miss it. Maybe you should do another
job.

You should choose another career path
apart from DJing. Has she lost her mind?

I mean, it's not like you could picture
me in the middle of a cubicle 95 selling

an insurance.

Hi, hi, this is James Kennedy. I'm
trying to... Nah.

DJ James Kennedy.

Time is money, James.

I apologize.

And I have enough money, but I don't
have enough time.

So are we done?

Yeah.

All right, thank you. Have a lovely day,
okay?

There's a great moral to this story, and
it's the oldest thing in the world. You

don't know what you had until it's gone.

Ain't that the truth?

James is gone.

Alrighty.

Coming up. Where's Lala?

Nobody knows.

What is she going to do?

I don't know.

I'm really excited about this trip.
We're flying up to San Francisco, and

the motherfucking NASCAR is going to be
badass.

Sorry on a birthday trip.

Let's do this.

This is a super early flight, but part
of me feels like, is she standing us up?

All set.

I want to make it the best birthday ever
for Ariana.

And if anybody stands in the way of
that, I'm going to be pissed.

And right now I'm asking myself, where
the f*** is Lala?

Next time on the Vanderpump Rules.

Welcome to Montauk.

Welcome to the snowmobile.

Everything's finally going right, but
what do I do? I've got to fix up somehow

because that's what Jack does. I need to
have sex. I want to have sex. Have you

heard from Lala? The only thing I can
think of is that she's completely

around this guy's finger.

But there's not be like one of those
trips where she's just like well, I

want to do like certain things Well,
we're doing green t -shirts one of those

will be hungover Boyfriend so shut up
birthday girl.

Jesus Christ.

Are you crying?