All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S5E02

Previously on Vanderpump Rules, right
now I'm overloaded. We've got World Dog

Day coming up. I could actually do with
some help.

Well, I can see that everybody here has
not been working on their summer bodies.

Wait, are you pregnant?

You need to f***ing go.

You go!

Go! Get the f*** out of here!

I find Kristen to be Brittany's wife.
What do you mean between your, like...

Kristen was like, you know that.

Jack clocked in on Brittany and Kristen
was going down on Brittany.

Kristen chowing down on Kentucky muffin.

You didn't say so. Stop.

And I don't want to ever hear about it
again or I will go insane.

I'm not done yet. I'm hungry.

Shut up.

Get my workout for the day.

Wow. Oh, that's really cool. I want
this. Since all this has been in here.

I didn't realize there was this much
stuff. Hi.

Say hello to Snappy.

She's only got one eye.

She's just about to be adopted.

Hi, kids.

Hi, guys.

Oh, there's so much for you guys to do.

I mean, it's going to be a bit of a
mishmash. There's going to be loads of

people, loads of dogs. It's going to be
a little bit crazy. World Dog Day is

going to be a day where we... celebrate
our four -legged furry friends.

Everybody knows I've been fighting
against the Yulin Festival where they

dogs. This is about drawing attention to
that, ending the dog meat trade, and I

need all the help I can get.

The aim is to stop the global torture of
dogs.

People have accused me of being obsessed
with dogs, and I can say they're right.

So have you met my latest little rescue?
This would be her.

And I worship the ground that he never
walks on.

But we've got donation buckets.

We've got T -shirts to be sold with
World Dog Day on and Stop Euling

I'm in charge of that. I'm getting you
and Tom involved.

Lisa did so much work to plan World Dog
Day. I need you guys to help pass around

donation buckets. Are we supposed to
bring our dogs?

Yeah. Being her assistant, I want to
learn how to put massive events like

together and have them be successful.

This is why I want to work for her. Is
there alcohol?

Oh, so, no alcohol.

So, no trouble. Do not be sneaking any
in, okay?

I don't think it's us you have to worry
about. It's your DJ.

James, let's walk away.

It's a charity day. We don't have to
talk about it.

Um, Chris has asked if you want to come
as well. Oh. Christine got an invitation

from you. I saw the email.

Not from me. I thought that she was
like, she was like, look at Lisa

inviting you. And it's got my name on
it. Yeah. And it's Lisa Vanderpump and

Vanderpump. I got the same one. I think
you and Chris would like to spend money.

Well, I'm here. She's very giving.

Huh?

I am just mortified right now. I'm brand
new working at Cirque. Jack, you're

going around spreading this rumor.

You're lying.

Will you just get back to work? Go ask
her. What do you think I'm going to ask

her? I wasn't.

Okay, guys, thanks for coming out. I
could punch Jack in his face.

Well, have fun tonight, guys. Did you
get a cut? Hell yeah.

Bye.

Let him get a head start. Let him go.

This is ridiculous.

Why is he such an asshole?

If you really love me, then why don't
you have my back? Like, I'm just so...

Like, I'm, like, shaking because I'm so
upset.

Like, I don't even want to be around him
right now. He doesn't deserve her. He's

really f***ing lucky, and the fact that
he's now spreading rumors about the most

amazing person in his life?

Bad move, dude.

I really thought for the last year since
he's been with you that there was

something in him that is more respectful
and loyal, and that just proves that he

hasn't changed.

Like, what is he going to do next? He's
going to tweet about it and let, like,

your family see? Yeah. I mean.

And then not even, like, act like he
even cares.

It's just bothering me.

I just need to have space from him right
now. You're more than welcome to come

over and hang out. I know. I might just
stay at your house. Yeah.

Totally can. Thanks for talking to me.
Of course.

It's going to be okay.

Whoa,

dude.

Me and Schwartz have definitely
established a sort of monthly tradition

go to Vodafone.

How's it going?

Hi. Hey.

Hey, where's Tom? Going to the theme
room, going to the cold pool.

Our voice says he likes strong hands.
No, I like soft hands. Oh.

Normal?

We're going to be slacking on the gym
again.

Should we make eye contact the whole
time?

Let's do it.

Do you wear underwear when you're
humanized?

I don't know. Whatever.

Hello? Yeah.

Hi. Hi. I have princess water for you.
Princess water, my favorite!

We should make cocktails with it. Yum!

I kind of want a beer, but... I'm not
supposed to be drinking beer.

Summer bod. I don't want a beer, but I
also want abs.

I've been living in this apartment for
almost a year.

This is the first apartment where I'm
not living with a boyfriend or a

Oh, my God. I have to show you
something.

Where my dad isn't paying for.

What the hell is this? I'm in a new
relationship.

How is this?

Like, where it's gone?

Yeah. That's, like, kind of depressing.

I decorated it exactly the way I want it
to be, down to the paint color. I think

I'm going to have a beer. We're just
going down together?

Yeah, we're going up together. I went to
Home Depot and picked that shit out.

I'm not saying I painted it myself, but
it took me a really long time to pick it

out. I dropped my dogs off to the... I
know,

it's so common here. It feels weird.

Is butter going to go on Sunday?

Oh, yeah.

That's what I had earlier today at a
meeting.

It's going to be like a dog carnival.

There's supposed to be, like, thousands
of people there. I was in charge of

getting, like, the donation buckets and
the raffle tickets and all that, you

know? Well, cool. That's exciting.

You're so busy.

I tried working for Lisa.

Once. That lasted four hours.

Better hurry up, Stassi. I am. I'm
putting together a bracelet. What about

earrings? I'm going to have to go out in
there, yeah. Where did you leave all

that jewelry?

Bathroom. No, you can't.

Stassi, darling, jiggy or not?

Working as Lisa Vanderpump's assistant
is my worst nightmare.

When I go to bed at night and I think
about the things I'm scared of, that's

number four.

Do you have any wedding updates?

No. I thought you were coming over to
tell me that I'm made of honor.

Last summer, I was not in a good place
with Kristen or Stassi. I hope that it

doesn't turn into the Hunger Games of
bridesmaids and they're all vying for

number one spot.

I accept.

Did you guys set a date? Yeah, August
17th. Going down.

Yeah. Three months away.

Yeah.

We're not being around Katie during
wedding planning. It's dangerous.

You mean in terms of budget?

Yeah. It's going to be frugal, but it's
going to be fun. Frugal and fun.

The venue is actually not super pricey,
but I'm calling them tomorrow to put

down the deposit.

Did you guys come up with a budget? Not
really.

Do you have a budget? I think we could
get by with maybe like $50 ,000. We're

not going to spend $10 ,000 on flowers
or shit like that. How much are flowers?

Like 15 grand?

Yeah. No.

That would be very understated. We're
not even going to have a cake.

Tom doesn't want a cake.

There are things that make a wedding a
wedding.

Like you wear a white dress. I don't
know, father -daughter dance.

And a fucking wedding cake.

Are you sure you want to do that?

Yeah. I mean, I'd be lying if I said I
haven't had doubts.

You guys maybe need to look at some
therapy or something, dude.

Hey, girl.

Hi. How are you? Good.

Hey, can I steal you for, like, three
minutes? Three minutes.

Three minutes.

I'll make it one. Thank you, Diane. I
appreciate that.

How are you?

Good. My new nose is great, too.

Lisa's right. I do need to apologize to
these girls. But do I think that she's

going to get a nose job?

Yeah. Do I think Katie's a bit
overweight?

Yeah. But that's me. I've always been a
truth teller.

I just want to tell you, busy, that, you
know, obviously the other night didn't

go. over very well. Clearly.

Sorry for what I said. I just felt,
like, on the defensive side, Sheena,

the second you, like, came at me... When
did I come at you? When you told me

you're not welcome. You came up to us.
And said hi at first. Y 'all had your

table in the corner. Didn't I say hi at
first? No, it was a condescending, like,

hi, oh, I see you're all working on your
summer bodies, like, you, you, you, and

then I'm like, are you kidding me? I
guess, yeah, yeah. That was my bad, I'm

sorry. I guess the apology tour is back
at Sir this year. James Kennedy is the

opening act with the most disingenuine
apology I've ever heard.

Blah, blah, blah.

I'm not buying it. Are you going to
apologize to Katie as well? Yes, of

will apologize to Katie. Sorry that I
can insult you way better than you can

insult me. You could say that they
should apologize to me for being an

to start with.

Thank you for apologizing and talk to
Katie.

I will.

Thanks, Gina.

Coming up. There you go, Mama.

How are you? I think I've been better.
Well,

yeah. I wish that I didn't have to lean
on you so much.

You're my world.

Oh my gosh, that's what moms do.

They come and save their baby.

I am in constant communication with my
mama. We talk on the phone probably four

times a day.

When I feel I've

f***ed up, She always lets me know that
it's going to be okay.

I feel like I'm turning into a very,
like, vicious person.

And that's not you at all.

I think we've come to the realization
you can't drink.

Like, I want to just, like, drink so
much, everybody.

Hi. Hi. Can I get you something to
drink?

Sure. I would love a Pinot Grigio.
Definitely. And I'll have this. Awesome.

Thank you. Of course. I know that I'm
not innocent. I've said some really

f***ing things to those people and about
them.

But I don't...

I feel good about it after I do it. But
I think it takes you back to when you

were bullied in, you know, elementary,
junior high, and high school.

That's why I had acrylic nails and
highlights in the fourth grade. I know.

know.

When I say my mother knows everything,
she knows everything.

Down to the fact that I lost my
virginity with a red condom to the song

by Lil Wayne.

Very classy.

I'm very emotional lately.

And with good reason.

Oh, yum. Thank you so much. Thank you. I
know that we have family history of the

drinking problems.

It's a two drink limit for me. Well,
there has to be. And this can't be my

Those people are some of the shittiest
human beings on the face of the planet.

I'm happy you don't like me. Because if
you did like me, it would mean I'm like

you guys.

And I don't want to be anything like you
guys. They don't know how tenderhearted

you are, sweetheart.

You know, you come with a tough
exterior, but they don't understand.

I love you.

I love you.

I just want you to help me.

I'm always here for you. I know you are.

You got Lala's back for life.
Absolutely.

Cheers. Cheers. I love you.

You're never going home.

All right, Friday night. Let's get into
it.

Let's do it.

You want me to keep this open or close
it?

Sure. I need you a thousand percent to
make that fantastic up there on Sunday.

Well, don't date. I'm making, like, the
biggest deal I can.

Are we going to eat, like, adults at the
table? Yeah, and a real cloth napkin.

Cloth napkin. All right.

My relationship with Carter is the best
I have ever had.

This gorgeous apartment together was an
easy shoot, though.

It was pretty easy. It was pretty laid
back. The talent was really nice.

Justin Parker.

We have the coolest draw bar.

He's a photographer's assistant.

We have zero trust issues. He doesn't
fight with me. And his name is not James

Kennedy. We have the puppy event on
Sunday. And then it's going to be people

over. On Sunday?

It's like a couple hours.

Oh!

I'm exhausted.

Busy day? Yeah. What about you? What are
you doing? The buses were really busy,

so I was grabbing the water from my
table. What about Britney? I heard

something that went down. I heard
exactly what went down. It was Kristen.

All right, I'll have your drinks right
out, and I'll put your orders in.

I have drama.

Jack walked in on Kristen going down on
Britney.

Like, apparently there was, like, a
lesbian, like, interaction, crazy

going on.

Jax was running his mouth.

Jax went up to Sandoval at work and said
that he walked in on Brittany and I

going down on each other or one doing it
to the other.

Did you guys decide on anything?

Jax walked in on Brittany going down.
And Carter was literally just sitting on

the couch.

But it's like, why talk about that at
work? Like, she's been here for a week,

and now all of her co -workers are going
to be like, wow, that's how Brittany

is? I know, it's not fair at all,
because you expect loyalty from your

Yeah, of course.

And Kristen does have a habit of getting
in the middle of things. I just never

thought it would be Brittany's thing.

It's offensive to me for him to talk
about me and Brittany that way.

Brittany, Carter, and I, I can't
remember where we were. It doesn't

we were.

We were in the bedroom, but the door
wasn't shut.

Brittany and I were hammered and, like,
kissed a couple times, and Jax came

home, and then whatever.

I don't know if Jax walked in and saw
his kiss. I feel like, I mean, I don't

know.

I just don't really remember.

He embellishes it out of everything. I
was there.

And then it's just like a blur.

I'm super, I literally don't remember
anything.

I know that he... I don't really know.

100%. I did not go down on Britney.

Is this going to be the topic of
conversation all summer long? Yeah, it

okay. Britney's Kiss 2016.

Went down in history.

Speaking of going down.

I need to talk to you about everything
that's going on lately.

God, for one stupid little thing, this
is turning into a three -day

conversation. I'm upset.

Don't be upset. If you show upsetness,
then you're fueling the fire. I'm not

upset with anyone but you.

Because you spread this and you did this
to me. You've got to get over it,

though. This is Sir. This is L .A.
You've got to get over it.

There's nothing I can do anymore.

You can keep yelling at me, but you're
still going to get the same outcome.

Because you need to understand that it's
upsetting and it hurts my feelings.

It happened. You can't just deny that. I
saw it.

I know that Jackson's the type of person
that needs to stir up things,

but the fact that he's stirring up shit
about his own girlfriend, it's...

Not okay.

Seriously, stop.

Look, I'm sorry because when he first
told me, I kind of like blurted it out

front of Lisa, so I apologize. Looks
like going around to everyone now, so

that's why I've been crying and
everything because it's like my

ready. You're making it more than it is.
Now it's turned around to where I'm the

one making it more than it is. You're
going around crying to everybody. Then

don't. All right, I'm done.

I'm going back to the spa.

Hi, darling.

Can you make sure that this is watered?
Yeah. What are you doing?

Just finishing with the silverware.
Yeah, we've got a part here at 10, I

Are you okay?

Yeah. Sit down for a second. Okay. It's
one of the reasons that I was kind of

wary about you working with Jack.

I hear every rumor. I hear every story.

I understand what's happened.

I feel like he's like tarnishing my
name. And for someone who I love to be

one who's putting it out there like
that.

Discretion isn't his greatest quality.
Brittany has actually been a very good

waitress and I'm pleased to employ her.
But things have got a little complicated

with Brittany and Jack.

I don't regret hiring Brittany, but
sometimes I regret not hiring Jack.

I just don't think he would do this to
me.

I don't want to look so stupid.

You're not so stupid. You have feelings.

And you're right to be upset about it.
Yeah.

So stay strong. Thank you.

Avoid him at the moment. Yeah, I'm
trying to avoid him. I told Gina that I

going to stay the night with her
tonight.

I have changed my entire life for him,
and he still will not admit that he is

wrong. I don't know what to do at this
point. He is the biggest piece of shit.

Hey, one question.

Why was Christian...

I'm telling you, what he said is not
what happened. Okay. That was my only

concern. No, no, no. Okay, go on.

Coming up. Before we get married, I
think we should probably get a prenup.

It's not an expression of doubt at all.

Sheena, are you awake?

Yes?

Good morning, guys.

Morning.

I guess I'm going to try to head home
and see how this goes.

You want me to kick his ass? I want him
to be, like, on his hands and knees, but

I know that's never going to happen.

I'm sorry.

I know it sucks.

I love you. I love you, too.

Thanks, guys. For sure.

Bye.

Hello?

I'm here.

Are you not going to say anything?

Why won't you look at me?

Don't run in there.

Yeah, but this is your fault in the
first place.

My feelings were just hurt, babe.

I mean, let's be very clear what's going
on here.

I caught my girlfriend messing around
with another girl, and somehow I'm the

asshole? I'm a liar. I've been a liar
for the last five years about

I'm a liar.

You are. You did exaggerate. Oh,

my God. You exaggerated hugely.

I want that. I want that. I don't know
why in the world you would tell people

that. Are you fucking joking?

Why are you such an asshole?

Yeah, because you're wrong. All of you
are wrong. Chris and Tom, you're all

wrong. I'm the fucking liar.

I don't want to. I'm not doing this.

Get out of here. This isn't getting any
better. You don't lie. So they swear to

God. I swear to God that didn't happen,
dumbass. Quit.

Jesus Christ. We talked about this from
the very get -go. Stop talking about it.

You're exaggerating. Oh, my God. So I'm
going to come in and make that shit up.

I guess. Because that's. I guess. We're
both sitting here telling you that's not

what happened. Why did you say it?
Because it happened. It didn't happen.

just throwing shit around.

Why would you do that to me?

Oh my God, I'm crazy. I just don't, I'm
not doing this anymore.

If you're really sorry, then you need to
act like it. Am I crazy?

I'm crazy.

I must be crazy.

I think I'm crazy.

I must be crazy. Nobody's hearing this.

What is that? I'm going to go to lunch
with the girls that I'm asking to be my

bridesmaid.

So I had an idea.

It's like a little pin thing like this.
It opens up. I'm putting these like

little like burlap kind of like flowers
on it to make it look cute. And then I'm

going to put this little like chalkboard
thing. And then I'm going to put this

fun like... And then there's going to be
a little balloon.

And inside the balloon, I'm going to put
the fabric that says, Will you be my

bridesmaid? Oh, this is elaborate.

I've been talking with a wedding
photographer.

I'm with sweating photographers.

Like ballpark. They can go up to $10
,000. What?

No, but it's not that.

I think they are between like $4 ,000
and $6 ,000.

$100 ,000?

Not $1 ,000.

Yeah. Maybe you should just keep me in
the dark on a lot of stuff.

And then maybe towards the end you can
send me a bill.

Tom definitely is.

Bruegel, some, including himself, may
say that he's a bit of a cheapskate.

And I do love that quality about him
because he's smart about his money. But

when it comes down to things like
weddings, I don't want to cut too many

on this one special day.

What's up with the deposit?

Well, I have to call him.

I'm sure it's not going to be too bad.
It's just the deposit, right?

Yeah.

That look, you just flashed me.

I thought maybe we would spend like 10
grand.

Like 5 ,000 each.

Seems reasonable.

Hi, Kevin. This is Katie Maloney
calling.

And Tom Schwartz. Oh, and Tom. My
fiance's here, too, I should mention.

The venue Tom and I have decided on for
our wedding is called the 20 Mile House,

and it's in Northern California in the
middle of the Sierra Nevadas. And one of

my best friends, he had been to a
wedding there, and it is magnanimous and

gorgeous. I don't even need to have a
step foot there to know that it's going

be everything and more than what I
expect.

And then on top of that, it's a per
-person charge of $109.

With the 10 % gratuity, it's $18 ,034.

We require a $5 ,000 non -refundable
deposit to hold the date. Yeah, no, no,

We're going forward.

Yeah, we're in. Well, great.

Congratulations. Thank you.

This is so exciting.

All right, so we are going to do August
17th, a Wednesday wedding.

Yay, thank you, Kevin.

Okay, bye. Bye.

I was doing my mantra the whole time. I
was like, don't complain and don't be

cheap. That's my mantra.

And that actually brings up another
subject I want to talk to you about,

is like the least romantic thing ever.

Before we get married, I think we should
probably get a prenup just as a

precautionary measure.

It's not an expression of doubt at all,
but this is just like, I think everybody

should get, I don't know why everyone
doesn't have a prenup.

It's just like health insurance. Of
course I don't hope I get cancer someday

some catastrophic accident.

I think, yeah.

I don't know what assets he's trying to
protect with this prenup. I mean, I

haven't thought about it, but I'm not
against prenups.

Unless Tom is sitting on some big trust
fund that I am unaware of, the only

assets he has is thousands of dollars
worth of sweatpants or some Ninja Turtle

action figures or...

crushing amount of student debt if it's
understanding that if god forbid it were

to happen that there is sort of already
something implemented that would be oh

my god i feel oh my god sexy i like
being reasonable logic wasn't always

than tits and ass you know i used to
love that but when you've had a girl

emotionally volatile we'll say

I'm like flushed with love right now and
excitement.

Oh, man.

Yeah, you're so sensible.

Okay, well, I have so much I have to do
before World Dog Day tomorrow.

I'm still in shock with the photographer
race.

Oh, come in.

You're such a weirdo. Show me your
place, dude. I haven't been here. This

zen area. I was just meditating.

Look at that view.

This is my sleeping area.

My bed.

My union jack. Wait, so you have a
roommate. Do you have a roommate? Yeah,

of. So my roommate right now, his name's
Paul. He's kind of like this stoner old

guy that plays pool with us. He's got
this really dope penthouse that I pay

minimal rent at.

Are you excited for the next... the next
step in our music career. Since last

summer, not only did I release Pump
Sessions, but I also released Lala and I

single Feeling You.

Ain't nobody that I'm feeling like I'm
feeling you.

Like I'm feeling you. Like I'm feeling
you. Yeah, yeah. Ain't nobody that I'm

feeling like I'm feeling you. Yo, we
just made a f***ing flash there, dude.

It definitely inspired me to make more
music with Lala.

I don't mean to boast, but come on, I'm
winning over here. I had a video that I

released. Wait, I heard something about
this video.

Didn't you get paint thrown on you or
something?

So what I did was I mixed blue glitter
with blue paint and I poured it on my

face. I wanted to reverse it in slow
motion so it kind of looks like skin

peeled off my face.

With everything that happened with
Feeling You doing so well on the albums,

like killing it, I feel like I could
honestly be playing like Coachella

like playing with all these big DJs. And
if I stay focused, there's no reason

why I couldn't just run with my dreams
and they could.

I don't want you to let people fuck with
you to the point where you potentially

ruin what you could be doing at
Coachella or, you know, wherever the

want to perform.

James can go and get drunk and fuck up
all he wants. The bottom line is, he's

nice to me, and I will be his friend and
have his back through thick and thin.

Like, I haven't been binge drinking and
stuff.

That one night at the party was, like,
the first time that's happened since my

third night. And Katie's like...

If we're trying to look like we haven't
gained five million pounds, we shouldn't

have that.

I'm so rude. I just was at lunch with my
mom yesterday saying I wasn't going to

be a vicious bitch.

I didn't say anything. I'm a loose
cannon, dude. I got to stop that.

Can we go eat something?

I'm really hungry.

I paid last time, so you're paying for
me today. Technically, if the guy paid

the date. Wait, so if the girl pays,
it's not a date? It just means you're a

scrub?

Coming up.

I take it back. I apologize.

I just think you're like a horrible
person.

Rally everybody together and make sure
they're selling raffle tickets, make

they're getting donations.

This day means...

So much to Lisa, and she's worked
really, really hard to put this whole

together. Do you have any of the pink
donation buckets over here?

Now it's my first day as her assistant
on the job representing her, and I want

to do my best to help her pull it off.
Hi, guys.

Hi. Well,

I have tasks for everyone.

Tasks? Yeah. I can't do anything right
now. I'm too hungover. No excuses.

Take a buck around. You ask for
donations, and you sell raffle tickets.

Hi.

Bye, guys.

What do I do when I'm carrying around
like $10 ,000 in cash?

You got a gun?

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Wait,

we need tickets. You need to wear a
shirt.

I don't want to wear a shirt.

Quit being a little baby.

Last night at Kristen's house, we just
talked about, like, how upset I was all

night. We had a really bad morning, just
screaming and fighting, and I did go

off on him, and I'm still very upset,
and my feelings are hurt.

I can't allow Jack Taylor to, like, my
home up and my world and my life.

It's going to be really hard to make it
through this day without going off on

Jack. I feel like every time I say hello
to a friend or something, they're

thinking about this rumor.

Let's go sell some shit.

Yeah, let's do it.

Come with me because they're going
together. I don't want to be by myself.

guys want to buy raffle tickets?

They're a dollar a piece.

And it goes to the Vanderpump Pet
Foundation.

Do you guys want a raffle ticket?
They're a dollar a piece. There's a lot

good stuff.

We're down for the cause.

Would anyone like to buy some raffle
tickets?

Let's buy ten.

Ten? It's for a good cause.

Oh, two of them? Awesome.

Oh,

wow. Thank you. We got to make sure we
beat Tom. He's hustling. He's like

running around like... Well, if you
don't want to stand in the shade all

would be selling a lot. Oh,

wow. Look at them.

Thank you for doing this.

It's great, right?

Some dogs don't get excited about World
Dog Day.

Right, Harris?

Hello?

Front row.

DJ James.

Are we at a rave?

Chad,

tell Lisa what happened with James,
though.

He was outside smoking a cigarette by
the fire pit. By the fire pit? Yeah.

patio fire. Right.

So he's over there having a cigarette,
talking to a couple other people over

there, and they were yapping back and
forth at each other, and then all of a

sudden the guy comes at him and puts
James on the headlock.

The last thing I need to deal with is a
complication involving James Kennedy

when I've got 4 ,000 people showing up
at my charity event.

How you doing, man?

What happened last night?

You saw what happened last night. It's
ridiculous.

You don't put your fucking hands on
anybody.

I don't care who you are. I was on break
outside a pub and my friend showed up.

You know, everyone's drinking.

I might have talked over him or
something. He thought I was super rude

me in a fucking headlock.

Jealousy.

Jealousy? Bro, yes.

110%, okay? And if you don't want to
f***ing believe that, then I don't care

you do or not.

I don't know what James thinks people
are jealous of. He's a resident DJ at a

restaurant. He's no f***ing Calvin
Harris or Steve Aoki. He doesn't have a

residency in Vegas.

James is making it increasingly
difficult to actually keep him in a

vocal boy. He says provocative things.
You know what he's like. If James is at

fault, he will definitely be let go.

I can't afford to have him. It's
precarious and I'm not going to put up

It's f***ing jealousy.

End of story.

I'm the one on stage.

I don't care if it's job day or the
club. I'm the one up. Not them.

I don't want to sound cocky, but I'm
young. I'm good looking.

I'm a f***ing DJ in Los Angeles. I've
been killing the game here.

Will the owner of a Toyota please head
to the DJ booth? I found your keys. It's

got a Mickey Mouse key on it.

Toyota. Owner of a Toyota. I got your
keys.

Raffle ticket.

Where is everybody?

I don't know.

Raffles. I don't know, honey. I'm trying
to get a raffle ticket.

Oh. This is one of the things I was most
afraid of working with your girlfriend.

Say you have a fight at home, which we
did. My girlfriend hates me right now,

and she's standing five feet away from
me, and I'm stuck.

Want to go check in with everybody?

Huh? No, we're doing our job.

Hi, ladies.

How are you doing over here?

Good. Hi.

Hi.

I just wanted to take a minute and play
a play.

They're calling me fat and saying that
I'm pregnant.

But James, this is what you do. You act
like an asshole.

Then you come back and you apologize.
And you walk away and you're like, ha

idiot, fell for it. So why even bother?

See, I haven't done anything.

I know you haven't. I don't know really
why. I just think you're like a horrible

person. How am I supposed to take this
apology as genuine and heartfelt?

Of course it's not.

I wasn't fucking born yesterday.

We have our differences, but I just
wanted to say sorry for what I said. I

it back. I apologise.

Until the next time when you have faith.

If I called you fat and didn't really
think it, then why would I call you fat?

Probably won't say it again to your
face.

But do I still think it? Obviously, I
said it. All right. Whatever.

Just mind your business on my mind.

All right. Sorry, Katie.

Coming up. Actually, I'm taking
donations.

We just did donate. I think you've been
giving some people more than what they

need from what I am.

I have.

oh that's so sweet of you thank you
thank you we legitimately

are about to go on a sir obstacle course
and like how we have tasks to do like

say hello to this person maybe be kicked
out by this person

Give you a damn dollar Oh God Give you a
damn dollar Have

you met the owner? She's done a song for
me She's amazing Hi

Hi You look cute Thank you It's just
like all about like denim and

Black and tits out. Look at how many
raffle tickets and thumbs with these

babies. How much are they? No, there's
no alcohol here. Zitto.

There's water, there's lemonade.

I love dog, and I think everybody knows
how I feel about bitches.

And here comes a couple more.

Hello. You're in trouble. What happened
last night?

People are coming out to get me, Lisa.

Who is it? Everyone.

Everyone sees I'm doing well, and they
want to poison that.

He's lucky if I don't charge him
assault.

Put me in a chokehold. What did you say?

Nothing, and I didn't even provoke him.

No. Feet.

Do you have another dog?

I love you. Don't you need another one?
I have two, and I have now been tempted

so many times. I'm like, I can't be that
chick who has three dogs and lived

alone. Oh, hey.

Hi, guys.

Hello, brother.

Hi. Babe, are you trying to adopt
another dog?

I'm trying to adopt every single dog
here. Are you guys having fun?

Yeah. Do you guys want to come over
after this? Pizza, barbecue, what?

And order a bunch of alcohol, so I'm
going to order, like, beer. That's

not good for the girl's summer bod.

There's a bear at Cinderella. Their
owner passed away tragically, and

looking for a forever home. They're
super cute. Come on.

Is there anybody that can take them?
They're so cute.

It's like a three -way.

I know.

Well, I'm going to leave soon just so I
can go get the house, which we did all

grab some drinks. Yeah, but I want us to
go say hi to Lisa. No, 100%. Are you

guys going to see her yet? Come with me.
I think I know where she is.

Hey, guys, don't forget, doggy yoga
starts at 2 o 'clock. Doggy yoga starts

o 'clock.

Relax with some yoga. Bring your pups.

Chill. Here comes trouble. I might need
security.

Oh, hello.

Hi. Under any other circumstance, I'd be
pissing myself thinking about having to

go and talk to Lisa.

There's no way Lisa could be mean to me.
I'm disarming her with my pups.

Not these pups, but these.

come over and say that this is like the
coolest thing anyone's ever done.

You're saying something good and
positive. I'm so proud to know you

this. We were both talking about that.

Actually, I'm taking donations. We just
did donate.

I think you've been giving some people
more than what they need from what I am.

I have?

We appreciate you being here.

Christian is a squirmer and I love to
see her squirm so I just cannot resist a

little dig in her direction.

You don't need to travel quickly.

I'm speechless.

I have no words.

Jack's a f***ing asshole. Bye. Bye.

Bye.

We have no idea of my history with those
two. But they were so sweet. They were

so sweet.

How's the wedding planning going? It's
going awfully fast.

We live together.

We drive each other crazy. We don't have
sex. We're already married.

I'm excited.

Are you trying to force yourself to say
that? No.

It's genuine. I feel good about it.

I want to believe you, man. I do. Dude,
it's true.

Don't do it. Wait.

Be in a relationship as long as you can.
Do not get married.

There's no reason to do it. It ruins
everything.

So you guys are good?

You know what? I would have never said
anything if it was going to turn into a

week -long argument, for God's sake.
It's ridiculous. They're probably saying

that you went crazy on her again or
something.

No. Why are you such an asshole?

Because you're wrong.

Oh, you are wrong. Kristen Pound, I'm
the fucking liar.

Stop listening to them. I do. They all
need to mind their own damn business.

It's my relationship. Let's take care of
your relationship.

To me, this is more than just a silly
rumor because it's my boyfriend who is

spreading this rumor. The fact that he's
betrayed my trust so much, it just

turns it into a much bigger thing for
me. I would never want Sheena and Shay's

relationship. I would never want your
relationship. Everybody has their own

of doing things.

So until you're all perfect.

Folks, tell me what to do. Thank you,
everybody, really, for coming here

Last year, somebody sent me a picture
from the Yulin Dog Festival.

When I looked into this festival, I saw
unbelievable

atrocities against these four creatures.

We invited about 3 ,000 or 4 ,000
people, and about 3 ,000 or 4 ,000

turned up, so it was really successful.

The point of the day was to garner
attention.

No to the dog meat trade and celebrate
our furry little friends.

I thank you all as a voice for the
voices and you all will make a

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, just a reminder,
make sure you pick up your poop.

Pick up your dog's poop. Thank you.

Coming up, she has literally had your
back from day one and you embarrassed

I didn't make up any of it.

Yeah. Open the f***ing door.

We all open the door.

What's up, dude? Hi.

Hi, everyone.

Safi just ordered like a million pizzas.

She did?

Oh, Britney's shots?

Yeah.

Hello? Hi.

How'd you like your first day on the
job?

She's the breadwinner now.

What was the breadwinner?

I feel awful for Britney.

Britney is the greatest thing that has
ever happened to him, and he's ruining

it. Jason, outside.

For a lecture. Yes, it is. You're
busted.

You're in time out.

Time out.

You're about to get ripped.

You need to accept that your life is
actually, like, good, and having an

girlfriend, that could be enough, and I
feel like you thrill -seek.

I'm sorry. What is it concerning?

You know exactly what it is. No, I
don't.

Brittany is, like, the one person who
has, like, never, ever done you wrong.

I think I know what they're talking
about.

Jax is a big male.

Oh. She has literally had your back from
day one, and then you embarrass her? I

didn't make up any rumors.

I was there. You were sleeping on the
couch when I walked in. We were involved

good. Just a drunk kiss. Isn't that a
little bit embellished?

I'm not going to go there because
whatever I say is not going to matter,

it's not.

I'm in the twilight zone.

Why the hell would I make something like
this up? It just doesn't make sense.

Between me and Brittany.

It's my relationship.

It's my problem. Mine, not yours.

It is my problem. Don't yell at me.

I'm telling you. It is my problem. No,
you're pulling a jack right now. No, I

said it. Calm down.

No, you stop for a minute because you
lied.

Okay. So stop getting people over. They
care about you. Thank you, Kristen.

Brittany's a fucking angel.

I said, okay. You keep going. Even
though I said, okay, you're still going.

Because I want you to get it. I get it.
Okay.

Okay. You know what, Kristen?

You win. I'm going to let the fact that
you went down on my girlfriend just go.

You, me, and Brittany.

We're always going to know that this
went down.

Just don't.

Don't hurt her.

Next time on Vanderpump Rules.

Some of you have been bugging me about
it. So officially, I am not asking if y

'all would be my bridesmaids. Of course!

We're going by sports, right?

Yeah, she's cooking dinner.

There's no denying you guys tortured me.
I feel like I never really repaid you

guys. Uh -oh. This is special.

And I want you guys to remember this.

Dude! What?

What the hell is that?

Are you fired yet? I'm not getting fired
over there. I don't trust you. It makes

it very difficult for me to keep you
employed. Oh, my God.

If you were to say to me right now,
Katie, I apologize for calling you a

I'd be like, girl, we're good. Call us,
we'll see it.

I'm also sitting here with someone
pretending that they haven't had a

boyfriend.

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