Original subtitles

Everyone, welcome to the Daily Show. I'm

Everyone, welcome to the Daily Show. I'm

Everyone, welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michael Costa. WE'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TALK

Michael Costa. WE'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TALK

Michael Costa. WE'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT TONIGHT. Trump wants to deport the

ABOUT TONIGHT. Trump wants to deport the

ABOUT TONIGHT. Trump wants to deport the midterms. The Super Bowl wokes up and

midterms. The Super Bowl wokes up and

midterms. The Super Bowl wokes up and Jordan Ker went to the Melania movie so

Jordan Ker went to the Melania movie so

Jordan Ker went to the Melania movie so you didn't have to. Hey, let's get into

you didn't have to. Hey, let's get into

you didn't have to. Hey, let's get into the headlines.

Let's start with the fun news. Super

Let's start with the fun news. Super

Let's start with the fun news. Super Bowl licks is right around the corner

Bowl licks is right around the corner

Bowl licks is right around the corner and everyone's excited for the Bad Bunny

and everyone's excited for the Bad Bunny

and everyone's excited for the Bad Bunny halftime show. AND BY

AND BY EVERYONE, I mean the radical woke

AND BY EVERYONE, I mean the radical woke

AND BY EVERYONE, I mean the radical woke communists who hate America.

communists who hate America.

communists who hate America. >> Vanico just chose uh the bad bunny

>> Vanico just chose uh the bad bunny

>> Vanico just chose uh the bad bunny rabbit or whatever his name. This guy

rabbit or whatever his name. This guy

rabbit or whatever his name. This guy who hates ice and he doesn't sing in

who hates ice and he doesn't sing in

who hates ice and he doesn't sing in English.

English.

English. >> Someone who hates America.

>> Someone who hates America.

>> Someone who hates America. >> Who wants to w watch a man wearing a

>> Who wants to w watch a man wearing a

>> Who wants to w watch a man wearing a dress? Anyway,

dress? Anyway,

dress? Anyway, >> it is woke puke.

>> it is woke puke.

>> it is woke puke. >> Bad Bunny's lyrics contain every sexual

>> Bad Bunny's lyrics contain every sexual

>> Bad Bunny's lyrics contain every sexual term possible in the most explicit and

term possible in the most explicit and

term possible in the most explicit and severe sexual terminology possible. The

severe sexual terminology possible. The

severe sexual terminology possible. The lyric is, "Where are the horny ladies?

lyric is, "Where are the horny ladies?

lyric is, "Where are the horny ladies? One more dance and we're going to call

One more dance and we're going to call

One more dance and we're going to call the Vatican. I was in hell when I found

the Vatican. I was in hell when I found

the Vatican. I was in hell when I found a devil." I mean, is this who you want

a devil." I mean, is this who you want

a devil." I mean, is this who you want as your halftime entertainment?

as your halftime entertainment?

as your halftime entertainment? >> I mean, oh my god. Is Is anyone else as

>> I mean, oh my god. Is Is anyone else as

>> I mean, oh my god. Is Is anyone else as mad and horny as I am right now?

mad and horny as I am right now?

mad and horny as I am right now? So, yeah, there's no way Americans are

So, yeah, there's no way Americans are

So, yeah, there's no way Americans are going to want to watch a performance by

going to want to watch a performance by

going to want to watch a performance by the most popular musician in America.

the most popular musician in America.

the most popular musician in America. But good news, there is a halftime

But good news, there is a halftime

But good news, there is a halftime alternative. And it's not just turning

alternative. And it's not just turning

alternative. And it's not just turning that seven layer dip into a seven layer

that seven layer dip into a seven layer

that seven layer dip into a seven layer poop. You want to tune out the woke

poop. You want to tune out the woke

poop. You want to tune out the woke nonsense that the NFL is promoting

nonsense that the NFL is promoting

nonsense that the NFL is promoting during the halftime show? Then tune in

during the halftime show? Then tune in

during the halftime show? Then tune in to Turning Point USA's All American

to Turning Point USA's All American

to Turning Point USA's All American Halftime Show. Their lineup just

Halftime Show. Their lineup just

Halftime Show. Their lineup just dropped, friends, and it's fire. Now

dropped, friends, and it's fire. Now

dropped, friends, and it's fire. Now this Sunday, Patriots like Kid Rock,

this Sunday, Patriots like Kid Rock,

this Sunday, Patriots like Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Bryce, and Gabby

Brantley Gilbert, Lee Bryce, and Gabby

Brantley Gilbert, Lee Bryce, and Gabby Barrett are performing right when

Barrett are performing right when

Barrett are performing right when halftime starts for the NFL. Woo! Huh,

halftime starts for the NFL. Woo! Huh,

halftime starts for the NFL. Woo! Huh, man. That is a real who's who of who.

man. That is a real who's who of who.

man. That is a real who's who of who. We've got Gabby Barrett, Brantley

We've got Gabby Barrett, Brantley

We've got Gabby Barrett, Brantley Gilbert, Garby Billet, Billy Garvin,

Gilbert, Garby Billet, Billy Garvin,

Gilbert, Garby Billet, Billy Garvin, Breley Grabbers, Bobby Gabbert, Gaggy

Breley Grabbers, Bobby Gabbert, Gaggy

Breley Grabbers, Bobby Gabbert, Gaggy Bobbles, Barnacle Gasy, Beette Gingle

Bobbles, Barnacle Gasy, Beette Gingle

Bobbles, Barnacle Gasy, Beette Gingle Tree, Hologram, Hulk Hogan, Gregory Lee,

Tree, Hologram, Hulk Hogan, Gregory Lee,

Tree, Hologram, Hulk Hogan, Gregory Lee, Benleb, Kid Rock, and Kid Rock's father,

Benleb, Kid Rock, and Kid Rock's father,

Benleb, Kid Rock, and Kid Rock's father, Adult Rock. So yeah,

Adult Rock. So yeah,

Adult Rock. So yeah, it's great. THIS IS GREAT.

YOU KNOW, ALL those musicians.

YOU KNOW, ALL those musicians.

YOU KNOW, ALL those musicians. Unbelievable. It's great that there's a

Unbelievable. It's great that there's a

Unbelievable. It's great that there's a conservative halftime show. What we

conservative halftime show. What we

conservative halftime show. What we really need is an alternative to the

really need is an alternative to the

really need is an alternative to the ultra woke puppy bowl. Okay. Who's a

ultra woke puppy bowl. Okay. Who's a

ultra woke puppy bowl. Okay. Who's a good boy? Who's a good girl? Why are

good boy? Who's a good girl? Why are

good boy? Who's a good girl? Why are they so obsessed with gender?

they so obsessed with gender?

they so obsessed with gender? Let's move on. The midterm elections are

Let's move on. The midterm elections are

Let's move on. The midterm elections are coming up and things are not looking

coming up and things are not looking

coming up and things are not looking good for my boy Donald Trump. His

good for my boy Donald Trump. His

good for my boy Donald Trump. His approval rating is in the toilet and

approval rating is in the toilet and

approval rating is in the toilet and Democrats have been overperforming in

Democrats have been overperforming in

Democrats have been overperforming in every special election since he took

every special election since he took

every special election since he took office. Last week they won an election

office. Last week they won an election

office. Last week they won an election in deep red Texas by 14 points.

>> Yeah. SO, LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR LEE

>> Yeah. SO, LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR LEE

>> Yeah. SO, LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR LEE WAMANS. Let's hear it. Lee Wamans.

>> Okay. Just so you know, Lim Wamans was

>> Okay. Just so you know, Lim Wamans was

>> Okay. Just so you know, Lim Wamans was the Republican. You idiots.

the Republican. You idiots.

the Republican. You idiots. Good job following the news.

But still, if Trump wants to avoid a

But still, if Trump wants to avoid a

But still, if Trump wants to avoid a blowout in the midterms, he's going to

blowout in the midterms, he's going to

blowout in the midterms, he's going to have to do something. Well, he could

have to do something. Well, he could

have to do something. Well, he could change his policies. He could slow down

change his policies. He could slow down

change his policies. He could slow down the rampant corruption. He could find

the rampant corruption. He could find

the rampant corruption. He could find less adorable kids to deport. So, it's

less adorable kids to deport. So, it's

less adorable kids to deport. So, it's like, who cares? So, Mr. President,

like, who cares? So, Mr. President,

like, who cares? So, Mr. President, what's it going to be?

what's it going to be?

what's it going to be? >> Donald Trump once again floated the idea

>> Donald Trump once again floated the idea

>> Donald Trump once again floated the idea of cancing the midterms. He boasted that

of cancing the midterms. He boasted that

of cancing the midterms. He boasted that he had accomplished so much that when

he had accomplished so much that when

he had accomplished so much that when you think of it, we shouldn't even have

you think of it, we shouldn't even have

you think of it, we shouldn't even have an election.

an election.

an election. >> Yikes.

>> Yikes.

>> Yikes. Yikes. Look, I do get the joy of cancing

Yikes. Look, I do get the joy of cancing

Yikes. Look, I do get the joy of cancing plans. Um, no one loves bailing on

plans. Um, no one loves bailing on

plans. Um, no one loves bailing on drinks or a work dinner or my kids piano

drinks or a work dinner or my kids piano

drinks or a work dinner or my kids piano recital more than me. But you can't

recital more than me. But you can't

recital more than me. But you can't cancel elections. Voting is the most

cancel elections. Voting is the most

cancel elections. Voting is the most American thing you can do besides, well,

American thing you can do besides, well,

American thing you can do besides, well, not voting. and and and and forgive me

not voting. and and and and forgive me

not voting. and and and and forgive me for being serious for a moment, but the

for being serious for a moment, but the

for being serious for a moment, but the president suggesting that he might

president suggesting that he might

president suggesting that he might cancel the midterms appears to be the

cancel the midterms appears to be the

cancel the midterms appears to be the inflection point toward a dictatorship

inflection point toward a dictatorship

inflection point toward a dictatorship from which our nation cannot return.

from which our nation cannot return.

from which our nation cannot return. This is serious.

This is serious.

This is serious. >> The president was was simply joking.

>> THAT IS A JOKE. FORGET IT. IT WAS a

>> THAT IS A JOKE. FORGET IT. IT WAS a

>> THAT IS A JOKE. FORGET IT. IT WAS a joke. Phew. That is a relief. Oh my god.

joke. Phew. That is a relief. Oh my god.

joke. Phew. That is a relief. Oh my god. I guess I was worried that it wasn't a

I guess I was worried that it wasn't a

I guess I was worried that it wasn't a joke because it's a little unusual for a

joke because it's a little unusual for a

joke because it's a little unusual for a president to joke about cancelling an

president to joke about cancelling an

president to joke about cancelling an election. And also, this particular

election. And also, this particular

election. And also, this particular president actually did try to overturn

president actually did try to overturn

president actually did try to overturn an election.

an election.

an election. >> So, I guess I don't get the joke.

>> So, I guess I don't get the joke.

>> So, I guess I don't get the joke. Can someone in the press corp please ask

Can someone in the press corp please ask

Can someone in the press corp please ask the White House what was funny about

the White House what was funny about

the White House what was funny about this?

this?

this? >> Are you saying that the president finds

>> Are you saying that the president finds

>> Are you saying that the president finds the idea of cancelling elections funny?

the idea of cancelling elections funny?

the idea of cancelling elections funny? >> Andrew, were you in the room? No, you

>> Andrew, were you in the room? No, you

>> Andrew, were you in the room? No, you weren't. I was in the room. I heard the

weren't. I was in the room. I heard the

weren't. I was in the room. I heard the conversation.

conversation.

conversation. Okay. It was a you had to be there

Okay. It was a you had to be there

Okay. It was a you had to be there thing,

thing,

thing, but none of us be there.

but none of us be there.

but none of us be there. If I was in the room, then I would have

If I was in the room, then I would have

If I was in the room, then I would have gotten it from his tone.

gotten it from his tone.

gotten it from his tone. >> It's like when Chris Rock tells a joke

>> It's like when Chris Rock tells a joke

>> It's like when Chris Rock tells a joke about black people. It works in the

about black people. It works in the

about black people. It works in the room, but it doesn't work later when

room, but it doesn't work later when

room, but it doesn't work later when Steven Miller retells it at a clan

Steven Miller retells it at a clan

Steven Miller retells it at a clan meeting.

meeting.

meeting. But but this is

But but this is

But but this is this is why we have a press to hold

this is why we have a press to hold

this is why we have a press to hold these people accountable. You can't

these people accountable. You can't

these people accountable. You can't blame the reporter for asking.

blame the reporter for asking.

blame the reporter for asking. >> That guy's from the Independent, a

>> That guy's from the Independent, a

>> That guy's from the Independent, a British paper.

British paper.

British paper. >> Such and he is actually a weenie. And I

>> Such and he is actually a weenie. And I

>> Such and he is actually a weenie. And I hope that gets back to him.

hope that gets back to him.

hope that gets back to him. >> That guy is such a nerd.

>> That guy is such a nerd.

>> That guy is such a nerd. >> People like that. I mean, that's why we

>> People like that. I mean, that's why we

>> People like that. I mean, that's why we hate the media. They're just nerds.

hate the media. They're just nerds.

hate the media. They're just nerds. Lighten up.

Lighten up.

Lighten up. >> Yeah. What a nerd.

>> Yeah. What a nerd.

>> Yeah. What a nerd. It's okay. I've learned my lesson. The

It's okay. I've learned my lesson. The

It's okay. I've learned my lesson. The president was just joking about this

president was just joking about this

president was just joking about this election stuff. AND I'M A COOL GUY. I

election stuff. AND I'M A COOL GUY. I

election stuff. AND I'M A COOL GUY. I GET JOKES. SO, I'm going to take all

GET JOKES. SO, I'm going to take all

GET JOKES. SO, I'm going to take all this much less seriously.

this much less seriously.

this much less seriously. >> This morning, President Trump trying to

>> This morning, President Trump trying to

>> This morning, President Trump trying to exert more control over the nation's

exert more control over the nation's

exert more control over the nation's elections. Saying Republicans should

elections. Saying Republicans should

elections. Saying Republicans should quote, "take over the voting."

quote, "take over the voting."

quote, "take over the voting." >> Okay. Okay.

>> Okay. Okay.

>> Okay. Okay. Okay. This sounds scary, but I know now

Okay. This sounds scary, but I know now

Okay. This sounds scary, but I know now it's probably just another hilarious

it's probably just another hilarious

it's probably just another hilarious joke. Let's take over the elections.

joke. Let's take over the elections.

joke. Let's take over the elections. I'm going to cancel the midterms.

I'm going to cancel the midterms.

I'm going to cancel the midterms. I'm going to be president forever.

I bet once you hear him actually say it,

I bet once you hear him actually say it,

I bet once you hear him actually say it, we'll get how funny it is. The

we'll get how funny it is. The

we'll get how funny it is. The Republicans should say we want to take

Republicans should say we want to take

Republicans should say we want to take over. We should take over the voting the

over. We should take over the voting the

over. We should take over the voting the voting in at least

voting in at least

voting in at least many 15 places. The Republicans ought to

many 15 places. The Republicans ought to

many 15 places. The Republicans ought to nationalize the voting.

This all looks and sounds pretty bad. If

This all looks and sounds pretty bad. If

This all looks and sounds pretty bad. If Trump does even half the things he's

Trump does even half the things he's

Trump does even half the things he's saying, our democracy will be less

saying, our democracy will be less

saying, our democracy will be less recognizable than the lineup of the

recognizable than the lineup of the

recognizable than the lineup of the TPUSA halftime show.

Don't make

Don't make

Don't make don't make me use it again.

don't make me use it again.

don't make me use it again. The only thing that's giving me solace

The only thing that's giving me solace

The only thing that's giving me solace so far is that this is just talk. Okay?

so far is that this is just talk. Okay?

so far is that this is just talk. Okay? If Trump was really going to meddle with

If Trump was really going to meddle with

If Trump was really going to meddle with the midterms, he'd be laying the

the midterms, he'd be laying the

the midterms, he'd be laying the groundwork by manufacturing evidence

groundwork by manufacturing evidence

groundwork by manufacturing evidence that there's widespread election fraud.

that there's widespread election fraud.

that there's widespread election fraud. And he's not doing that. Right.

And he's not doing that. Right.

And he's not doing that. Right. Right.

Right.

Right. Right.

Right.

Right. >> Happening now, the FBI has seized all of

>> Happening now, the FBI has seized all of

>> Happening now, the FBI has seized all of the 2020 election ballots from Fulton

the 2020 election ballots from Fulton

the 2020 election ballots from Fulton County, Georgia. It's part of the

County, Georgia. It's part of the

County, Georgia. It's part of the Justice Department's effort to look for

Justice Department's effort to look for

Justice Department's effort to look for alleged voter fraud. President Trump

alleged voter fraud. President Trump

alleged voter fraud. President Trump keeps pushing this baseless claim that

keeps pushing this baseless claim that

keeps pushing this baseless claim that the 2020 election was stolen.

the 2020 election was stolen.

the 2020 election was stolen. >> Holy Two things. First of all,

>> Holy Two things. First of all,

>> Holy Two things. First of all, Trump, you got to get over 2020, man. I

Trump, you got to get over 2020, man. I

Trump, you got to get over 2020, man. I mean, 2020 is over. You don't see the

mean, 2020 is over. You don't see the

mean, 2020 is over. You don't see the rest of us being grateful for essential

rest of us being grateful for essential

rest of us being grateful for essential workers anymore. Move on.

And secondly, I think it's pretty clear

And secondly, I think it's pretty clear

And secondly, I think it's pretty clear that Trump is not joking about meddling

that Trump is not joking about meddling

that Trump is not joking about meddling in the election this year. And the only

in the election this year. And the only

in the election this year. And the only way we can prevent it is if everyone

way we can prevent it is if everyone

way we can prevent it is if everyone stands up to stop him. Especially

stands up to stop him. Especially

stands up to stop him. Especially Republicans. I'm talking Mike Johnson,

Republicans. I'm talking Mike Johnson,

Republicans. I'm talking Mike Johnson, Lindsey Graham, Gabby Barrett, Brantley

Lindsey Graham, Gabby Barrett, Brantley

Lindsey Graham, Gabby Barrett, Brantley Gilbert, Bour Gutman, Gunk Butters,

Gilbert, Bour Gutman, Gunk Butters,

Gilbert, Bour Gutman, Gunk Butters, Griff Bortman, and of course, Brickley

Griff Bortman, and of course, Brickley

Griff Bortman, and of course, Brickley Gobble Bottom. God, I cannot wait FOR

Gobble Bottom. God, I cannot wait FOR

Gobble Bottom. God, I cannot wait FOR THIS HALFTIME SHOW. OH MY GOD, I'MING

THIS HALFTIME SHOW. OH MY GOD, I'MING

THIS HALFTIME SHOW. OH MY GOD, I'MING BURSTING.

For more on Trump's statements about

For more on Trump's statements about

For more on Trump's statements about cancelling the midterms, we go live to

cancelling the midterms, we go live to

cancelling the midterms, we go live to the White House with Troy Iada.

Isn't all this election undermining

Isn't all this election undermining

Isn't all this election undermining disturbing?

disturbing?

disturbing? >> Oh my god, Michael. Trump was clearly

>> Oh my god, Michael. Trump was clearly

>> Oh my god, Michael. Trump was clearly joking. Okay. The only disturbing thing

joking. Okay. The only disturbing thing

joking. Okay. The only disturbing thing here is how you can't take a joke.

here is how you can't take a joke.

here is how you can't take a joke. >> I can take a joke.

>> I can take a joke.

>> I can take a joke. >> Oh, really? Knock knock.

>> Oh, really? Knock knock.

>> Oh, really? Knock knock. >> Who's there?

>> Who's there?

>> Who's there? >> You have no sense of humor.

>> You have no sense of humor.

>> You have no sense of humor. That That's not funny.

That That's not funny.

That That's not funny. >> See,

>> See,

>> See, >> you you don't know when things are

>> you you don't know when things are

>> you you don't know when things are funny, so you can't tell when the

funny, so you can't tell when the

funny, so you can't tell when the president is joking.

president is joking.

president is joking. >> Okay, but Troy, here's the thing. The

>> Okay, but Troy, here's the thing. The

>> Okay, but Troy, here's the thing. The president says and does a lot of unusual

president says and does a lot of unusual

president says and does a lot of unusual things. How are we supposed to know when

things. How are we supposed to know when

things. How are we supposed to know when it's a joke?

it's a joke?

it's a joke? >> Yeah, that's the thing, Costa. It's all

>> Yeah, that's the thing, Costa. It's all

>> Yeah, that's the thing, Costa. It's all jokes. Trump's whole first year has been

jokes. Trump's whole first year has been

jokes. Trump's whole first year has been a bit like like, dude, remember that

a bit like like, dude, remember that

a bit like like, dude, remember that time he made $1.4 billion in his first

time he made $1.4 billion in his first

time he made $1.4 billion in his first year as president? Can you say zing?

year as president? Can you say zing?

year as president? Can you say zing? >> I I don't get how that's funny.

>> I I don't get how that's funny.

>> I I don't get how that's funny. >> It's funny cuz you're not you're not

>> It's funny cuz you're not you're not

>> It's funny cuz you're not you're not supposed to do that.

supposed to do that.

supposed to do that. >> Look, look. Since you're such a weeny

>> Look, look. Since you're such a weeny

>> Look, look. Since you're such a weeny nerd, let me explain. Okay. You ever see

nerd, let me explain. Okay. You ever see

nerd, let me explain. Okay. You ever see Impractical Jokers, that show where a

Impractical Jokers, that show where a

Impractical Jokers, that show where a van full of fat Italian guys trick each

van full of fat Italian guys trick each

van full of fat Italian guys trick each other? This is that, but with the

other? This is that, but with the

other? This is that, but with the president and no van.

president and no van.

president and no van. But he is fat.

But he is fat.

But he is fat. >> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. How is cancelling the midterms funny?

How is cancelling the midterms funny?

How is cancelling the midterms funny? >> Because it makes the country worse.

>> Because it makes the country worse.

>> Because it makes the country worse. >> Do you get it?

>> Do you get it?

>> Do you get it? >> No, I don't know.

>> No, I don't know.

>> No, I don't know. >> Dude, you are so gay.

>> Dude, you are so gay.

>> Dude, you are so gay. >> Wait, aren't you gay?

>> Wait, aren't you gay?

>> Wait, aren't you gay? >> Yeah, as a

>> Yeah, as a

>> Yeah, as a >> Look, look, you don't have to think

>> Look, look, you don't have to think

>> Look, look, you don't have to think Trump's funny, but you got to admit the

Trump's funny, but you got to admit the

Trump's funny, but you got to admit the dude loves jokes.

dude loves jokes.

dude loves jokes. >> Really? Because he gets so mad at people

>> Really? Because he gets so mad at people

>> Really? Because he gets so mad at people who make jokes about him and Epstein.

who make jokes about him and Epstein.

who make jokes about him and Epstein. >> BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

>> BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

>> BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FUNNY. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE. And Trump had

THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE. And Trump had

THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE. And Trump had nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein

nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein

nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein except that recurring bit where Trump

except that recurring bit where Trump

except that recurring bit where Trump hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, you know,

hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, you know,

hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, you know, as a joke.

as a joke.

as a joke. >> Wait, Troy, I'll be honest. I think

>> Wait, Troy, I'll be honest. I think

>> Wait, Troy, I'll be honest. I think Trump's supposed jokes are part of a

Trump's supposed jokes are part of a

Trump's supposed jokes are part of a larger strategy to normalize his

larger strategy to normalize his

larger strategy to normalize his authoritarian tendencies, gradually

authoritarian tendencies, gradually

authoritarian tendencies, gradually conditioning the public to accept the

conditioning the public to accept the

conditioning the public to accept the undermining of democratic norms until

undermining of democratic norms until

undermining of democratic norms until our basic constitutional rights have

our basic constitutional rights have

our basic constitutional rights have been completely and totally stripped

been completely and totally stripped

been completely and totally stripped away.

Yeah, I I think you're right.

Yeah, I I think you're right.

Yeah, I I think you're right. And you got to admit that's pretty

And you got to admit that's pretty

And you got to admit that's pretty funny.

funny.

funny. >> You got me. Try water, everyone.