Original subtitles

HEY, BUDDY! YOU CAN'T PARK THERE!I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE.

HI. YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE THE MOVIE, THE EXTREME ADVENTURES OF SUPER DAVE.

IT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

IT STARTS WHEN I WAS A KID,

AND IT TAKES YOU THROUGH A WILD RIDE OF FUN, EXCITEMENT AND ADVENTURE.

I REALLY HAD A GREAT TIME MAKING IT.

BUT I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO YOU KIDS AND PARENTS.

[Train Signal Clanging] DON'T TRY THE STUNTS I DO AT HOME.

AFTER ALL, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

I'VE HAD YEARS OF EXPERIENCE, AND I'M A TRUE PROFESSIONAL.

[Whistle Blowing] OOH-HOO!

ENJOY THE MOVIE!

DROP ME OFF AT THE CORNER. I'LL WALK HOME.

AND NOW WE LAY TO REST OUR BELOVED FRIEND,

THE GREATEST SHOWMAN WHO EVER LIVED,

CIRCUS HALL OF FAMER, DAREDEVIL DADDY OSBORNE.

YOUR GRANDPA LOVED YOU VERY MUCH.

HE WANTED YOU TO HAVE THIS. YOU KEEP IT.

THAT WAY HE'LL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU, SON.

THANK YOU, DAD.

[Shoes Squeaking]

WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR? GRANDPA?

YEAH, IT'S ME, DAVID.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.

I'LL BE LEAVING IN A MINUTE. BUT BEFORE I GO, I HAD TO TALK TO YOU.

DAVID, DON'T EVER LOSE THE LOCKET.

IF YOU KEEP IT WITH YOU, IT'LL PROTECT YOU.

I WON'T EVER GET HURT?

WELL, I CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT, BUT I DO KNOW THAT IT'LL SOFTEN THE BLOWS.

THAT IS, IF YOU FOLLOW THREE SIMPLE RULES: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.

NEVER DISHONOR THE FAMILY NAME. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,

WHEN IT'S TIME TO QUIT, DON'T PUSH IT; JUST SAY GOOD-BYE.

GRANDPA?

GRANDPA?

SUPER DAVE OSBORNE!

I'M GONNA BE THE GREATEST DAREDEVIL IN THE WORLD.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW THE OTHER KIDS.

MAYBE NOW THEY WON'T LAUGH AT ME ANYMORE.

UH-OH! SORRY, GRANDPA.

[Crowd Cheering]

[Super Dave] HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY 2,000!

HAPPY NEW ONE!

HAVE A GREAT TIME! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

DON'T MISS MY STUNT.

HAPPY NEW ONE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY 2,000!

HAPPY 2,000! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HEY, LISTEN UP. KEEP IT STRAIGHT.

KEEP IT ABOUT 35. YOU'RE DRIVIN' LIKE A CHAMP.

YOU'VE GOT A LEFT TURN COMING UP, SO SLOW DOWN. PERFECT.

I'M COMIN' DOWN.ALL RIGHT, SUP.

[Woman] HAPPY NEW YEAR!

IS THIS A CROWD OUT THERE? I AM SO EXCITED! THEY'RE GREAT. FANTASTIC.

OH, RAY CHARLES'S PEOPLE WANT HIM TO GET $100,000 FOR SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

IT'S RAY CHARLES. THE PROMOTERS CAN PAY THAT.

- NO. THEY SAY IT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR POCKET. - I'LL HANDLE IT.

DON'T YOU EVER REST, FUJ? IS THAT THE STUNT YOU'RE LOOKING AT?

BUT, SUPER, YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU GREAT.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE DOING A BEAUTIFUL JOB.

YOU HAVE ABOUT 2,000 FEET TO GO. HOW'S THE VOICE?

OH, GREAT! YOU'VE GOT AN ANTHEM TO SING.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO HAVE YOU WITH ME. YOU'VE BEEN MY GOOD-LUCK CHARM.

I LOVE YOU FOR IT.THANK YOU, SUP. I LOVE YOU TOO, MAN.

I WOULDN'T MISS THIS EVENT FOR ANYTHING.

GREAT. KEEP THE SPEED UP. WE GOT ABOUT A THOUSAND FEET.

[Announcer] WE ARE JUST HOURS AWAY FROM THE NEW MILLENNIUM.

BUT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT, WE ARE JUST HOURS AWAY...

FROM SUPER DAVE'S MOST DEATH-DEFYING STUNT EVER.

WE'VE GOT WORD THAT THE SUPER ONE'S BUS IS APPROACHING.

[Super Dave] RAY, NOT NOW, BUT WHEN WE DO THIS,

YOU WANNA STOP AT A SIGNAL OR A COUNT?

LET'S TRY A COUNT.ALL RIGHT.

RAY WANTS TO GO ON A COUNT.

SO WHEN WE DO THIS, I'M GONNA SAY, "THREE, TWO, ONE, STOP."

- [Brakes Squealing] - A LITTLE EARLY, RAY!

[Announcer] GREAT STUNT, SUP! I'M OKAY.

[Man] LISTEN TO ME.

HOLYFIELD/TYSON FIVE WILL BE THE BIGGEST...

SPORTING EVENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

AH, SWEETHEART. YEAH, YOU.

- DIDN'T WE GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER? - I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE.

OH, YOU MUST'VE BEEN AHEAD OF ME. GIL RUSTON.

GIMME A CALL SOMETIME, BABE.

YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE, HONEY.

NOT CARRYING ANY WEIGHT. WILL YOU SHUT UP?

NOVEMBER 1. CLOSED-CIRCUIT HISTORY.

YOU'RE EITHER IN OR OUT. I'M THROUGH TALKIN' WITH YOU.

MR. RUSTON IS THROUGH WITH YOU.

- BRING MY SLIPPERS. MY FEET ARE STARTING TO EXCITE ME. - [Hairdresser] BEAUTIFUL.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I NEVER HAD A THING DONE.

I BELIEVE GOD DEALS YOU A HAND, AND THAT'S THE HAND YOU PLAY WITH.

AND YOUR NOSE? PERFECTO.

YEAH. HE FINALLY GOT THE TIP RIGHT.

HOW WE DOIN' WITH THE HAIR? IT'S STILL WET.

HURRY UP. ALL THE DRIERS ARE BUSY.

I'LL HAND DRY IT. CODE BLUE!

WATCH TELEVISION. AT MIDNIGHT YOU'RE GONNA SEE A STUNT THAT'LL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF.

I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, BUT MY SON ROBERT IS YOUR BIGGEST FAN.

COULD YOU GIVE HIM AN AUTOGRAPH? ABSOLUTELY.

COULD YOU SAY, "DEAR ROBERT--" NO, MAKE THAT BOBBY.

"I APPRECIATE YOUR BEING SUCH A FAN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

THERE YOU GO."IT'S GREAT TO KNOW THAT WHEN I DO A STUNT--

BOBBY, IF THERE'S EVER ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU--"I HATE TO BE RUDE.

I'M ON PAGE ELEVEN, AND I'VE GOT A STUNT TO DO.

- IF IT'S OKAY, I'M GONNA SIGN THIS, "LOVE, SUPER." - WHAT A BUTTHEAD!

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FANS.

YOU'RE LIKE EVERY OTHER PRIMA DONNA. GIMME THAT!

I HOPE YOU CRASH!

WHEW.

LET'S SEE. I THINK I'LL DO IT THIS WAY.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. PROBABLY A LITTLE MORE FORCE.

LADIESAND GENTLEMEN. NO, YOU GOTTA GO--

LET'S JUST LEAVE IT AT... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

[Announcer] ATTENTION, PLEASE. IT'S 20 MINUTES TO BLASTOFF.

AND COUNTING.

ONE, TWO, THREE--I'LL COUNT AND I'LL BREATHE. YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS.

ALL RIGHT. I HOPE YOU ARE READY.I'M READY.

TAPE'S TIGHT, DONALD.

- MAY I HELP YOU? - YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME, DO YOU?

THE VOICE IS FAMILIAR.

MY FATHER WORKED WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER.

- TEDDY! - EDDIE!

HOW YA DOIN'? DID YOU COME HERE FOR THE STUNT?

NO, NO. HE'S THE HEAD OF YOUR SECURITY.

- MM-HMM. - OH, GREAT.

- HEY! - FREEZE!

SHOO! IF IT ISN'T EVERY YOUNG MAN'S DREAM. SUPER DAVE OSBORNE.

LOOK WHO JUST OOZED UNDER THE DOOR.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY MEETING THE REAL SUPER DAVE.

ALL RIGHT, GO BACK AND DO YOUR CUTICLES. ENOUGH.

YOU'RE STILL HERE? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.

IF I HAD SET THIS FIASCO UP AS A PAY-PER-VIEW, YOU'D BE MAKING 50 TIMES AS MUCH.

THERE'S A REASON IT'S ON FREE TV, PAL. IT'S CALLED "GIVING BACK."

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IF ONE OF THESE STUNTS HITS YOU IN THE HEAD...

AND KNOCKS SENSE INTO YOU, YOU KNOW WHERE TO REACH ME.

HEY, LARRY, MOE, CURLY! HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'?

I'M GONNA GRAB ME A BIRD'S-EYE SEAT AND WAIT FOR THIS DISASTER TO HAPPEN.

WHILE YOU'RE OUT THERE, STEAL SOME MONEY AND BUY YOURSELF SOME ETHICS.

MAYBE THEN YOU'LL LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT.

WE'RE MOMENTS AWAY FROM SUPER DAVE'S BIG STUNT.

THE DIGNITARIES ARE STARTING TO FILE IN. ONLY 100 SEATS AVAILABLE.

MIKE WALDEN, A MILLION DOLLARS PER TICKET, WITH THE PROCEEDS GOING TO CHARITY.

[Walden] TRUE. AND IT'S WELL WORTH IT,

BECAUSE THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST CHALLENGING STUNT...

THE SUPER ONE HAS EVER ATTEMPTED.

THAT COMPUTER-DRIVEN CATAPULT IS REALLY THE KEY TO TONIGHT'S STUNT.

AND WHEN THE CATAPULT IS ACTIVATED,

SUPER DAVE WILL SHOOT OUT AT APPROXIMATELY 350 MILES AN HOUR...

TOWARD THAT TRAMPOLINE THAT YOU SEE UP THERE.

WHEN HE HITS THE TRAMPOLINE, IT'LL CAUSE HIM TO RICOCHET DOWN AND HIT THIS TRAMPOLINE.

HE'S GOING TO PROCEED TO GO BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH...

1,199 TIMES.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS, THIS IS THE BIG ONE.

THIS SUIT IS SO TIGHT IT'S STARTING TO CRAWL UP--

IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO PRESENT TO YOU...

THE ONE, THE ONLY...

SUPER DAVE OSBORNE!

[Cheering, Applause]

[Michael Buffer] REMEMBER, EVERYBODY,

TO HELP SUPER DAVE, COUNT ALONG WITH HIM.

YELL OUT THE NUMBER EVERY TIME HE HITS THE TRAMPOLINE.

- LET'S GO. - TRAJECTORY CHECK.

42.35.

- LOCK IN AT 6-5-0. - LOCKING IN.

[Fuji] SUPER DAVE, CAN YOU HEAR ME? I CAN HEAR YOU.

- REMEMBER TO COUNT. - FUJ, I'LL COUNT. LET'S GO.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, PREPARE FOR THE YEAR 2000.

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

SIX, FIVE,

FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!

IT'S BLAST-OFF TIME!

HERE WE GO! YOO-HOOEY!

- ONE! - [Together] ONE!

- [Crowd Murmuring] - UH-OH.

[Walden] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

SUPER DAVE OSBORNE APPARENTLY HIT THE TRAMPOLINE A LITTLE FASTER THAN HE THOUGHT,

AND PENETRATED THE ROOF OF OUR ARENA.

- OH, MY GOSH! - FUJI, COULD YOU COME HERE, PLEASE?

FIRST, WHAT HAPPENED? SECONDLY, WHERE IS SUPER DAVE?

ONE QUESTION AT A TIME, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT. WHAT HAPPENED? I DON'T KNOW.

SECONDLY, WHERE IS SUPER DAVE?

I DON'T KNOW.

MIKE WALDEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING THROUGH SUPER DAVE'S HEAD RIGHT NOW?

HE'S PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT THE KIND OF LIFE HE'S LED,

THE LITTLE PEOPLE HE HELPED ALONG THE WAY, AND OF COURSE THE LORD.

[Super Dave] I'M COMING BACK!

MOVE THE TRAMPOLINE! I MISSED IT!

[Crowd Groaning]

[Michael Buffer] SUPER DAVE IS BACK!

SUPER DAVE IS BACK!

[Groans]

IS HE BREATHING?

GREAT NEWS! HE'S BREATHING! SUPER DAVE IS ALIVE!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SUPER DAVE OSBORNE...

IS ALIVE!

[Cheering]

AH. OH, THANK GOD, SUPER. YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

MY BUTT JUST KISSED THE MOON, AND I'M GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?

WHAT ARE THOSE LIGHTS?

MUST BE THE CAMERAS. PLEASE, NO PICTURES. [Michael Buffer] WHAT A SHAME.

BUT WE'VE GOT A COUNTDOWN.

[Crowd] TEN, NINE, EIGHT,

SEVEN, SIX, FIVE,

FOUR, THREE, TWO,

ONE, TOUCHDOWN!

[Cheering]

OH... THOSE LIGHTS.

I HATE TO INTERRUPT YOUR CELEBRATION, BUT I COULD USE SOME ASSISTANCE.

NEW YEARS, DAVE!

- WE'RE LOSING HIM AGAIN! - NO PICTURES!

BLOOD PRESSURE'S DROPPING. TYPE AND CROSS HIM FOR TWO UNITS OF BLOOD.

GIVE ME ONE MILLIGRAM E.P.I., I.V. PUSH. I CAN'T GET A PULSE.

- [Super Dave] THAT'S NOT MY WRIST! - IT'S NOT MY FAULT, SUPER.

IT WAS YOUR FAULT. I DID MY HOMEWORK.

I WAS GONNA SHOW THE CLASS HOW YOU CAN FLY, BUT NUTBRAIN HERE...

SCREWED UP MY LANDING. IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

THAT IS ENOUGH, YOUNG MAN!

YOU GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW.

- IT IS HIS FAULT. - WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?

THEY'RE STUCK IN THE CEMENT WHERE I LANDED.

GET SOMETHING ON YOUR FEET!

- I NEED A NEW FRIEND. - FUJI, DEAR, COME UP HERE AND SHOW US YOUR INVENTION.

ARIGATO. THANK YOU, MISS JACOBS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I ALWAYS GET THE BLAME.

I HAVE DESIGNED A VERY SPECIAL REMOTE CONTROL.

TELL US HOW IT WORKS.

YOU PRESS THIS BUTTON, AND IT TURNS ON THE SKATES.

- TAKE THAT BROOM, SWEEP THE HALLS. WHEN YOU FINISH, - UH-OH.

REPORT BACK TO ME.YES, SIR.

THIS LEVER CONTROLS DIRECTION AND SPEED. BACKWARDS.

AND TOMORROW, YOU WEAR SHOES.

OH, NO.

30, 35, 40, 45.

- FUJI! HELP ME! - UH-OH.

I'M DEAD! [Crashing Noise]

OH, NO! FINALLY YOU'RE AWAKE.

YOU SURE HAD A GOOD SNOOZE. LOOK, ABOUT THAT BALL DROP--

OH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?

SOME NURSE CAME TO TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE, BUT YOU WERE SLEEPING.

I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.

SUPER, I FOUND THIS IN YOUR UNIFORM.

I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING YOU TREASURE VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.

[Grandpa's Voice] WHEN IT'S TIME TO QUIT, DON'T PUSH IT.

JUST SAY GOOD-BYE.

THESE X RAYS DON'T LOOK GOOD.

- YOUR WHITE BLOOD CELL COUNT IS VERY LOW. - WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

- THE PRESS ARE GOIN' NUTS. WHAT SHOULD WE DO? - SEND 'EM IN.

YOU CAN GO IN, BUT NO PICTURES. COME ON. SUPER DAVE.

THE RUMOR'S CIRCULATING THE HALLS THAT THIS WAS YOU LAST STUNT.

- THOSE RUMORS ARE TRUE. - OOH!

- ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE RETIRING? - I'M SAYING MY TIME HAS COME.

A LOT OF ATHLETES SAY THEY'RE GONNA RETIRE, AND THEY START TO MISS THE LIMELIGHT AND MONEY.

- WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER TO THAT? - IN THE LAST 24 HOURS I'VE SEEN LIGHTS TO LAST A LIFETIME.

I'VE HAD A GREAT CAREER, A TERRIFIC BUSINESS MANAGER. I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT MONEY.

- BOBBY? - BILLY.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL LOOKING LIKE THIS?

I FEEL LIKE ROBO MAN.YOU CAN'T TAKE IT OFF FOR TWO WEEKS.

I CAN'T WEAR THIS THING FOR TWO WEEKS.THAT'S WHAT THE DOCTOR SAYS.

IT FEEDS YOU, MONITORS YOU, LETS US KNOW IF THERE'S A PROBLEM.

- WHY CAN'T I JUST CALL? - THINK OF IT AS A LIFESAVING UNIT.

THIS THING WEIGHS A TON! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY IT AROUND?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO. THAT'S WHAT THE CORD IS FOR.

- PUT IT IN A ROOM AND WALK AROUND WITH IT. - OH, GREAT.

I'M GONNA GET YOUR DISCHARGE PAPERS. HERE, HAVE A SEAT.

TAKE SOME OF THE WEIGHT OFF.THAT'S COMFORTABLE.

BRING A CRANE BACK IN CASE YOU WANT ME TO GET UP.

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE NEW YORK TIMESSAYS.

THE FIGHT IS ON. HOLYFIELD/TYSON FIVE IS ON.

MR. RUSTON, WANT ME TO HOLD BACK ON THIS GUY? HE'S KINDA TIGHT.

NAH. I'LL GET YOU SOMEONE BIGGER TOMORROW. DON'T HOLD BACK.

YOU GOT A TELEVISION? PUT IT ON NOW.

THE REAL DEAL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, EVANDER HOLYFIELD,

SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT TODAY AS TO WHETHER HE WILL BE FIGHTING MIKE TYSON...

ON NOVEMBER 1 AS PLANNED.

EVERYONE'S BEEN SAYING THAT MY LEFT SHOULDER IS NOT 100 PERCENT. THAT'S CRAZY.

MY LEFT SHOULDER HAS NEVER FELT BETTER.HAVE WE LEARNED ANYTHING HERE?

- IT'S MY RIGHT SHOULDER. - WHAT?

I'M SORRY TO GIL RUSTON, MY PROMOTER. BUT WE'LL GET IT TOGETHER IN THE FUTURE.

WHAT FUTURE? THERE IS NO FUTURE WITHOUT NOVEMBER 1!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'? I'M THROUGH WITH THIS BUM.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. I GOT AN EVENT PLANNED FOR YOU THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.

IT'S HUGE! HUGE SURPRISE. OKAY?

TO YOU AND ME BOTH. IN OTHER SPORTS NEWS,

IT'S GOOD AND NOT-SO-GOOD NEWS FOR SUPER DAVE OSBORNE.

THE SUPER ONE WILL BE RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL TODAY, AND CAN RETURN TO HIS COMPOUND.

UNFORTUNATELY, FAMED BUSINESS MANAGER TO THE STARS, MURRAY SCHNEIDERMAN,

WHO REPRESENTS JOHN ELWAY AND SUPER DAVE AMONG OTHERS,

APPARENTLY HAS FLED THE COUNTRY WITH $20 MILLION.

THIS WAS JOHN ELWAY'S REACTION EARLIER TODAY.

THANK GOD I DIDN'T LOSE ANY OF MY MONEY. SORRY, SUPER.

I KNOW YOU'LL BOUNCE BACK. YOU ALWAYS HAVE AND... BE THE MAN!

- [Super Dave] I'M BROKE! - HE'S BROKE AND I'VE GOT HIM!

OH, NO! HELP!

- LOOK OUT BELOW! - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- THE UNIT'S GONE. CUT THIS THING OFF OF ME. - BRACE YOURSELF.

I'LL HOLD YA.

IT STOPPED.

[Sighs] YOUR LUCK HAS CHANGED.

THE UNIT HAS LANDED ON THE AWNING THAT COVERS THE HOSPITAL ENTRANCE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE A STUPID AWNING WOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD-- GOOD-BYE!

SAVE MY ROOM!

[Announcer] ON THE RIGHT SIDE IS WHERE THE FANTASTIC...

ONE-OF-A-KIND SUPER DAVE ROLLER COASTER USED TO BE.

IT WAS OVER FOUR STORIES TALL. AND IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY,

YOU CAN STILL SEE THE FOOTPRINTS WHERE PEOPLE USED TO STAND IN LINE--

THIS CHECK IS FOR THE FERRIS WHEEL.

AND THIS IS FOR THE CARNEY GAMES.

[Announcer] EVERYTHING IS KNOCKED OFF.

IF YOU READ YOUR "M" TICKETS, YOU'LL SEE OUR MIMES ARE STILL THERE.

IF YOU'D LIKE TO PET ONE, IT'S A DOLLAR A MIME.

SUPER WANTED ME TO TELL YOU, IF THERE'S ANYTHING LEFT TO TAKE,

DO IT AT NIGHT, CAUSE HE STILL HAS HIS TOURS.

THIS HURTS ME AS MUCH AS HIM. I LOVE THE GUY.

YEAH. THANKS.

HEY! HEY!

WAS THAT A GREAT TOUR OR WHAT? THAT'S IT?

WHAT DO WE DO WITH OUR FERRIS WHEEL TICKETS?

HANG ON TO 'EM. IT'LL BE BACK IN NO TIME.

SAME WITH YOUR ROLLER COASTER AND FUN HOUSE PASSES.

- WHAT A RIP-OFF! - DON'T BE TOO QUICK TO JUDGE, YOUNG MAN.

YOUR TOUR'S BEEN A WHOLE LOT BETTER THAN TOMORROW'S WILL BE.

[Laughing]

$2,000! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING?

I SPENT OVER-- I'M SORRY.

I PERSONALLY DESIGNED THIS PLACE. IT COST ME $35,000 TO BUILD.

IT'S THE TOUGHEST GLASS HOUSE IN THE WORLD TO GET OUT OF.

YOU'RE OFFERING ME $2,000?

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

HEY, PAL, YOU'RE GOIN' THE WRONG WAY.

YOU'LL BE STUCK IN HERE AN HOUR, AND I'M NOT GONNA HELP YOU.

BET YOU WISH YOU'D WAITED FOR ME, HUH, PAL?

[Man Whistling]

HELP! [Woman] HONEY, WHERE YOU GOIN'?

[Man] NO! LOOK OUT! OH, NO!

[Car Brakes Squealing, Horn Honking]

OH, I'M SORRY.

THERE WAS THIS DOG IN THE ROAD. I SWERVED SO I WOULD MISS IT.

THEN I LOST CONTROL. I'M SO SORRY.

I CAN'T APOLOGIZE ENOUGH.

ARE YOU OKAY?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING. AT LEAST I CAN FIND MY WAY OUT NOW.

EASY. EASY. YA-HOO!

DID I HURT YOU? NO.

THERE'S NO NEED TO WORRY. I DID GO TO NURSING SCHOOL.I'M NOT WORRIED.

AYE! OF COURSE, I ONLY MADE IT THROUGH THE FIRST WEEK.

YO! THEN WE MOVED.

WE MOVED? MY SON TIMMY AND I.

WE'RE RENTING THE HOUSE DOWN THE ROAD.

OH! THAT MAKES US NEIGHBORS.

MM-HMM. [Laughs]

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THE EAR? YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH. LET'S LET IT FALL OUT ON ITS OWN.

IT REALLY DOES LOOK LOOSE.AYE!

- I'M OKAY. [Groans] - OH, NO! I'VE DONE IT AGAIN.

DON'T WORRY. WE'RE IN LUCK. THE GLASS WENT IN THE ORIGINAL HOLES.

- WANT ME TO GET THOSE OUT? - NO. I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

BINGO! GOOD AS NEW!

I'M TELLING YOU, THIS HAS NOT BEEN MY DAY.

- LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, CINDY. - SANDY.

IF NONE OF THIS HAD HAPPENED, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SAVED A CERTAIN DOG'S LIFE.

THAT'S A LOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN A LITTLE BIT OF MY DISCOMFORT.

YIKES! OOH!

I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS.

WE FOUND THE DOG YOU ALMOST HIT, AND IT IS COMPLETELY FINE.

[Laughing]

WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?

OH, THIS. [Squeaks]

[Grunts] HERE. IT'S YOUR DOG!

SINCE YOU TWO LIVE SO CLOSE TO THE COMPOUND,

WHY DON'T YOU BRING YOUR BOY OVER AND HE CAN BE MY GUEST?

THAT'S SWEET OF YOU, BUT I DON'T THINK SO.

TIMMY HAS A HEART PROBLEM.A HEART PROBLEM?

YEAH. HE'S GONNA NEED AN OPERATION SOON, SO IN THE MEANTIME...

I'VE GOTTA MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T OVERDO IT.THAT'S TERRIBLE.

I'VE GOT AN IDEA. BRING HIM OVER ANYWAY,

AND I'LL MAKE HIM MY SPECIAL ADVISOR.

HE'D LOVE THAT. HE'S A HUGE FAN OF YOURS.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- SUPER, YOU WANTED TO SEE ME? - YES.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON WITH THE LOOP-THE-LOOP RIDE? [Fuji] IT'S BROKEN.

I WOULDN'T SELL IT TO THOSE MOVERS ANYWAY.

I HATE THEM. THEY RUINED MY ENTIRE ELECTRICAL SYSTEM!

EVERY TIME THEY TAKE SOMETHING,

THEY LEAVE A WIRE DISCONNECTED.

EVERYTHING IS CROSSED UP! I TURN ON LIGHTS IN HOUSE, AND GARBAGE DISPOSAL GOES ON.

I SHOW YOU.YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW ME. I HEAR IT 24 HOURS A DAY.

JUST FIX IT.

BUT NOTHING LIKE THIS!

LET'S SEE ABOUT YOUR CAR. HOW'S IT LOOK, DONALD?

OTHER THAN A FEW SCRATCHES, IT'S IN GOOD SHAPE.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.YOU'RE WELCOME. STOP!

- DON'T GO OVER THE BELL LINE! IT'S BROKEN! - WHAT'S HE YELLING ABOUT?

HE'S AFRAID THE BELL LINE'S PART OF THE ELECTRICAL PROBLEM, AND SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET HURT.

TELL HIM SOMEONE COULD GET HURT CROSSING THE--

[Screams]

AH. [Super Dave] YOUR CAR'S READY.

GREAT. THEY'RE GREAT, HUH?

THEY'RE FABULOUS. DO YOU HAVE TIME TO TAKE A LOOK AT A MIME?

EASY.

WHAT'S HIS NAME? HIS NAME IS CARY.

NICE TO MEET YOU, GARY. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO.GREAT.

OH, HE'S GOOD. HE'S VERY GOOD. WE'LL TAKE HIM.

HOW MUCH IS HE? COME BACK, LARRY.

- WE CAN GET HIM FOR $120. - OKAY, BUY HIM.

BUT THIS IS IT. I CAN'T AFFORD ANY MORE. HOSE HIM DOWN.

MAKE SURE HE STAYS IN THE CORRAL. GET HIM IN WHITEFACE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

EXCUSE ME, SIR. I DON'T MEAN TO TAKE YOUR TIME.

I'M TRYING TO SAY TO THE PUBLIC THROUGH MY PERFORMANCE THAT PANTOMIME...

IS MORE THAN THE CHARACTER ON THE CORNER, WEARING WHITEFACE MAKEUP,

TRAPPED IN A--

LOOK.

I'M SORRY, BUT YOU HAVE TO EITHER GET INTO WHITEFACE OR LEAVE THE COMPOUND.

I'M SORRY, I CANNOT CHEAPEN MY ART.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO WALK.

COME ON. CARY, COME! THANKS.

COME ON. COOKIE. COOKIE, CARY.

HEEL, CARY. PAY ATTENTION.

WOW! GREAT JOB. KEEP THE SAME SPEED.

WOW! THAT LOOKED LIKE OLD SUPER DAVE.

BUT, NOT AS GOOD, OF COURSE.

HEY, MR. OSBORNE. THANKS FOR THE TIPS. THEY REALLY HELPED.

I LIKE WHAT I'M SEEING. YOU KEEP PRACTICING, AND YOU MAY BE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

ME? NAH. YOU REALLY THINK SO?

I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT IF I DIDN'T MEAN IT.HOT DAMN!

DARN.

I ALWAYS DREAMED YOU'D SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT. THAT'S WHY I CAME HERE.

I HAD THIS CRAZY IDEA YOU MIGHT TAKE ME UNDER YOUR WING.

AS A PROTEGE OR SOMETHING. SO ONE DAY I CAN TURN PRO AND MAKE YOU PROUD.

LET'S NOT JUMP AHEAD. KEEP WORKING AND WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

YES, SIR!

[Crashing Noise]

I'M SORRY. I SHOULD JUST MAIL YOU A PERMANENT APOLOGY.

DON'T WORRY. WE SPILL A LITTLE WATER AND NOTHING BROKE. YOU MUST BE LITTLE TOMMY.

- TIMMY. - WELCOME TO THE SUPER DAVE COMPOUND.

MY MOM TRIED TO FIX HER OWN BRAKES.TIMMY!

SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

MOMMY PROMISED ME I COULD SHOOT MY BOW AND ARROW, BUT SHE WAS LATE...

AND THE CLASS IS OVER.

HEY, PAL, I OWN THIS PLACE.

I PROMISE, YOU WON'T MISS A THING.

COME ON.

YOU CAME AT A VERY GOOD TIME.

THE TARGETS ARE OPEN, AND I CAN GIVE YOU MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.

THIS IS GONNA BE A BLAST. TAKE YOUR BLUE SUCTION-CUP ARROW...

AND SHOOT IT RIGHT INTO THE YELLOW BULL'S-EYE.

AND IF YOU DO, I'LL GIVE YOU A PRIZE. OKAY?

READY.

AIM. CONCENTRATE ON THE YELLOW.

FIRE! TOO HIGH. OOH!

[Super Dave] I DON'T WANNA PLAY ANYMORE.ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

[In Strained Voice] NO, I DON'T THINK SO. THAT MONKEY WENT THROUGH, DIDN'T IT?

- UH-HUH. - THEN I'M NOT ALL RIGHT.

[Super Dave Groaning]

[Donald] ARROW'S OUT, SUPER. AND YOU WANTED 9-1-1.

OH, BOY. THAT MASSAGE SCHOOL YOU WENT THROUGH...

MUST'VE BEEN GREAT; YOU'VE GOT QUITE A TOUCH.

[Bones Cracking] OH! MY SPINE NEEDED THAT.

- THAT WASN'T YOUR SPINE. - OH.

YOU DID GRADUATE, DIDN'T YOU? TWO WEEKS SHORT.

OH, BOY. YOU WERE SAYING YOUR EX-HUSBAND IS A LOWLIFE, INCONSIDERATE ANIMAL.

YEAH. HE LEFT US PENNILESS. WE HAVE NO MEDICAL INSURANCE.

TIMMY'S OPERATION'S GONNA COST A FORTUNE.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.

NOTHING MUCH HAPPENED.

JUST SOME CRAZY STUDENT WANTS TO BE MY PROTEGE. OW!

DOESN'T SOUND CRAZY TO ME. IT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT WAY TO KEEP ALIVE ALL YOU STAND FOR.

OH, YEAH.

YOU HAVE TERRIFIC BALANCE.COMES FROM MY GYMNASTIC TRAINING.

- HERE COMES MY DISMOUNT. - DISMOUNT?

OH, GO FOR IT!

[Flatulence, Burps]

OH, BOY. I NEEDED THAT.

SORRY. THAT'S WHY I QUIT. I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID OF HITTING THE GROUND.

OH, YEAH. ARE WE FINISHED? ALMOST.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PART. IT'S MY OWN CONCOCTION.

EUCALYPTUS OIL, SUNFLOWER OIL,

A LITTLE ALCOHOL AND ECHINACEA ROOT.

- I'M GOING TO PUT A COUPLE DROPS UNDER YOUR NOSE. - GREAT.

IT WILL CLEAR UP YOUR SINUSES FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS.

OH, NO! I'M BLIND!

HEY, WHAT'S THIS FOR?

CAN'T HAVE MY PROTEGE GETTING HURT FIRST DAY OF TRAINING.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE? OH, NOTHING.

IT'S ALMOST HEALED. AND, SHOOT, CAN I BREATHE!

HEE-HAW!

OKAY, LOOK AT ME. I'M BALANCING.

I'M AT ONE WITH MY BIKE. THAT'S WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

WHOO-HOO! YEAH!

GOOD. THAT'S BETTER.

CAN I TRY SOMETHIN'?

GO AHEAD. WE'RE AT THE END OF OUR RIDE.

WHOO-HOO!

YEAH! YEAH! [Laughing]

WHOO! LIKE THAT ONE?

GREAT. YOU WANNA HOTDOG, HUH? WANNA SEE A LITTLE FLASH?

I'LL SHOW YOU SOME FLASH.

YOO-HOO!

HERE'S A HOT DOG WITH A LITTLE MUSTARD.

ALL RIGHT!

- HOW'S THAT? - OH, WOW.

YE-HEE-HEE!

ALL RIGHT.

- TWO THUMBS UP! - WOW!

NOW I'LL TRY KICKING INTO A TWO THUMBS UP...

WITH A BACK HELMET TWIST.

YOO-HOO!

TWO LEGS UP.

WHOO! AHH!

OH, JOSHUA TREE! HEE-HAW!

HOW'D YOU KNOW YOU COULD CLEAR THAT?

BECAUSE I'VE PRACTICED FOR 20 YEARS.

EXTRA LIVER.

WHAT ARE YOU EATING? TRIPLE CHEESE.

DOUBLE ONIONS. THICK CHOCOLATE SHAKE. WANT A BITE?

NOT UNLESS I WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE. LOOK, PAL.

YOUR BODY'S LIKE A TEMPLE. IF YOU DON'T FEED YOUR TEMPLE, YOU'LL LOSE YOUR CONGREGATION.

HERE YOU GO. A PERFECT BLEND OF MINERALS, NUTRIENTS AND PROTEIN.

EXACTLY WHAT THE TEMPLE NEEDS.

MMM. IT'S GOT KIND OF A METALLIC TASTE TODAY.

- UH-OH. - WHAT'S "UH-OH"?

THE BLADES ARE MISSING.

- HOW MANY BLADES WERE THERE? - FOUR.

FOUR?

I'M GOING TO NEED A TETANUS SHOT.

ALSO, GET ME A MAGNATE SO I CAN WIPE MYSELF.ALL RIGHT.

ARE YOU READY, SUPER DAVE?

ALL RIGHT.

EARS ARE IN THE STARTING BLOCK. LET'S GO.

- 2:00. - 2:00.

- BASEBALL. - BASEBALL.

[Laughing]

- 10:00. - 10.00.

- SPEAR. - SPEAR.

- WHOA. - [Crowd Applauding]

- 12:00. - 12:00.

- BULLET. - BULLET.

WOW! THAT'S AMAZING.

ALL RIGHT, SUP!

- 12:32. - 12:32.

- LOOP-THE-LOOP. - LOOP-THE-LOOP?

I THOUGHT IT WAS BROKEN! WHOO-HEE!

I FIXED IT.

♪♪♪ [Marching]

♪♪♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE SUPER DAVE STUNT ACADEMY.

BEFORE SUPER DAVE HIT ROCK BOTTOM,

THESE BLEACHERS WERE FILLED TO OVERFLOWING.

IN FACT, IT WAS MORE THAN OVERFLOWING.

IT WAS A VERITABLE HUMAN STAMPEDE.

PEOPLE WERE COMING FROM--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HELLO, SUPER DAVE.WHY ARE YOU TELLING PEOPLE I HIT ROCK BOTTOM?

I'M JUST FILLING TILL YOU GOT HERE.I'M HERE.

OF COURSE YOU ARE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE IS THE MAN OF THE HOUR,

THE TOAST OF THE TOWN, THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE--MIKE. MIKE!

WRAP IT.SUPER DAVE OSBORNE!

[Cheering] THANK YOU.

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TODAY. SIX WEEKS AGO A YOUNG MAN CAME TO THE COMPOUND.

VERY INEXPERIENCED, BUT HE HAD A DREAM.

HE HAD A LOT OF POTENTIAL, AND HE HAS WORKED VERY HARD.

I'M VERY PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT IN TWO WEEKS...

THIS FINE YOUNG MAN WILL BE MAKING HIS PROFESSIONAL STUNT DEBUT...

AT THE COACHELLA VALLEY STUNT AND DAREDEVIL SHOW.

LET'S RAISE THE ROOF FOR THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE SUPER DAVE FAMILY, B.J.

D.J.

THANKS. THANKS, GUYS.

WOW! BEAUTIFUL, CARLOS!

ONLY ONE OF THOSE.SUP, YOU GOT A SEC?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. WHAT'S UP?

DID YOU MEAN WHAT YOU SAID BACK THERE? ABOUT ME BEING PART OF THE FAMILY.

ABSOLUTELY.

GOD, THIS IS KIND OF EMBARRASSING.

HEY, I LIVE HERE. I KNOW EMBARRASSMENT.

WHEN I JUMP AT COACHELLA, I WAS HOPIN' THAT,

WELL, MAYBE IF I COULD SORT OF USE YOUR NAME.

JUST AS A STAGE NAME. IT WOULD GIVE ME A REAL BOOST OF CONFIDENCE.

ALMOST LIKE YOU WERE JUMPING WITH ME.

ARE YOU ASKING ME TO CALL YOURSELF SUPER DAVE JUNIOR?

I'M SORRY. I-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.

SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD TO ME.

OH, YEAH!

[Sandy] ♪ IT'S KNOWIN' THAT YOUR DOOR IS OPEN ♪

♪ AND YOUR PATH IS FREE TO WALK ♪WALK!

[Coyotes Howling]♪ THAT MAKE ME TEND TO KEEP MY SLEEPING BAG ROLLED UP ♪

- ♪ AND STASHED BEHIND YOUR COUCH ♪ - COUCH!

♪ AND IT'S KNOWIN' I'M NOT SHACKLED BY FORGOTTEN WORDS OR BONDS ♪

[Coyotes Howling]♪ AND INK STAINS-- ♪♪

WHAT HAPPENED?

I NEVER REALLY LEARNED THE ENDING.

THAT'S CRAZY. THAT'S LIKE DOING "THE THREE LITTLE PIGS" AND LEAVING OUT THE BRICK HOUSE.

DID YOU HEAR THAT? IT'S A BRICK HOUSE. NOW WE CAN FINISH THE STORY.

[Bee Buzzing] OW! SOMETHING BIT ME.

I THINK IT'S A BEE. I GOT IT.

AREN'T YOU SCARED IT'S GONNA STING YOU? IT'S NOT A BEE.

IT'S A HOUSE FLY. HELLO, MR. HOUSE FLY.

WANNA GO TO THE FIREWORKS WITH US? OH, THE STINKER BIT ME.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S NOT A BEE? BEES MAKE MORE NOISE.

ALSO, THEY MOVE AROUND A LOT MORE. AND I'M ALLERGIC TO BEES.

SO IF THIS WAS A BEE, MY HAND WOULD BE SWELLING UP.

UH-OH. [Sandy] OH, MY GOODNESS.

LIKE THAT?

EXACTLY. AND THEN WHAT?

USUALLY I LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS AND PUKE RIGHT BEFORE MY HEAD HITS THE GROUND.

SEE YA. [Vomiting]

WHAT? DO YOU WANT TO BURY THE BEE...

BEFORE OR AFTER THE FIREWORKS?

OH.

- LET'S DO THE FIREWORKS! - [Fuji] NOT JUST FIREWORKS. MAGIC FIREWORKS!

THIS IS GONNA BE A BLAST.

THESE ARE SENSATIONAL.

WOW!

- GO AHEAD, TIMMY. BLOW. - [Sandy] YOU CAN DO IT.

- HARDER! - [Super Dave] HE'S HYPERVENTILATING.

- COME ON. - [Wheezing]

OH, TOO BAD. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF I WAVE MY HAND AND SAY,

"ALA KAZAAM! ALA KAZOO!

COME ON, SPARKLERS, SHOW 'EM WHAT YOU CAN DO!" WOW!

- HOW'D YOU DO THAT? - [Super Dave] ISN'T THAT EXCITING?

I'VE NEVER SEEN SPARKLERS LIKE THOSE BEFORE.

YOU KNOW THOSE CANDLES YOU PUT IN A BIRTHDAY CAKE?

YOU LIGHT 'EM, BLOW 'EM OUT, AND THEY KEEP RELIGHTING?

THOSE ANNOYING CANDLES? HE MADE ALL HIS FIREWORKS LIKE THAT.

IS THAT UNBELIEVABLE?

- WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOUR SPARKLER? - I PUT IT BACK IN THE BOX.

- ISN'T IT GOING TO RELIGHT? - UH-OH.

- TIMMY! - HURRY UP! GET DOWN.

GET DOWN! OH, MY GOSH!

STAY LOW. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

[Super Dave] OH, NO! STAY DOWN!

THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! GET HELP!

I DON'T DRIVE.I'LL DRIVE.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF TERRY.TIMMY!

GO! HURRY!

- POLICE OR FIRE? - FIRE.

GO! OKAY. CITY OR COUNTY?

- JUST GO. HURRY. - ALL RIGHT.

YOU STAY LOW.

DON'T WORRY. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.

[Gasps] LOUIE! LOUIE!

WHO'S LOUIE? LOUIE'S MY DOG.

- WHERE IS HE? - IN THE BEDROOM.

IN THAT HOUSE? YES.

HERE, DOGGY! DOGGY! OH, IT'S HOT.

TRY THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM.

- I CAN'T FIND HIM. - TRY THE OTHER BEDROOM.

HERE, DOGGY. COME TO DADDY. THERE'S NO DOG. ONLY THESE FISH.

NOW CONCENTRATE. WHERE'S THE DOG?

- HE COULD BE IN THE DEN. - HOT!

NO DOG!

HELP ME, LOUIE!

I CAN'T FIND THE DOG. HE WON'T BARK.

HE CAN'T BARK.

- [Squeaks] - LOUIE!

[Yelling]

[Firemen Yelling, Indistinct]

THANKS AGAIN, RANDY.RUDY. GOOD JOB SAVING THE DOG.

YEAH. I WAS ABLE TO SAVE HIM RIGHT BEFORE HE BURNED HIS COTTON FOOT. YOU OKAY?

WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. RIGHT, SWEETHEART? WE ALWAYS MAKE IT.

IF YOU NEED A PLACE TO STAY, YOU CAN ALWAYS COME TO MY HOUSE.

OH, BOY!

SEE YA, FELLAS! BYE!

HOW LONG WILL YOUR MAGIC FIREWORKS KEEP LIGHTING?

[Fuji] ABOUT EVERY HALF HOUR FOR A YEAR.

WE BETTER GET OUT BEFORE THE HOUSE RELIGHTS-- OOP. TOO LATE.

THANKS AGAIN, RICKY.RUDY!

THE FIRE'S ON AGAIN. WE GOTTA SPRAY IT! LET'S GO!

THE SUPER DAVE OSBORNE NAME IS BACK!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR THE FIRST TIME ANYWHERE, A REAL CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK,

LET'S RAISE THE ROOF FOR...

SUPER DAVE JUNIOR!

THERE HE IS!

SUPER DAVE JUNIOR WILL ATTEMPT AN EIGHT-CAR JUMP!

HOLD YOUR BREATH. HERE HE COMES.

COME ON, LET'S GO!

GO, D.J.!

- [Walden] HE'S DONE IT! - YES!

HEY!

[Cheering, Applause]

ALL RIGHT, D.J.!

HEY! SUPER DAVE JUNIOR!

GREAT JOB. CONGRATULATIONS.THANK YOU.

I'M GONNA MAKE THIS QUICK, BUT I CAN'T GET OFF WITHOUT THANKING ONE PERSON.

THE MAN I OWE EVERYTHING TO.

HE SUPPORTED ME EMOTIONALLY.

HE SUPPORTED ME FINANCIALLY. HE STANDS BY ME 100 PERCENT.

HE'S MY MENTOR, HE'S MY GOOD FRIEND.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT SHOWMEN,

MR. GIL RUSTON!

HEY! SUPER DAVE JUNIOR!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WANT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY...

TO OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE...

THE BEGINNING OF SUPER DAVE JUNIOR'S DEATH-O-RAMA STUNT SPECTACULAR TOUR,

PRESENTED TO YOU BY YOURS TRULY,

GIL RUSTON ENTERPRISES!

THERE WILL BE JUMPS! YEAH!

THERE WILL BE STUNTS! OH, YEAH!

AND THERE WILL BE MERCHANDISING LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

GET YOUR WALLETS READY...

BECAUSE SUPER DAVE IS DEAD,

AND JUNIOR IS JUMPIN' OVER HIS GRAVE!

YEAH!

YOU WERE GREAT, KID. YOU'RE THE NEW MAN.

HEY. THERE'S NO WAY YOU TWO ARE GONNA USE MY NAME.

IT'S TOO LATE, SUPER ONE. WE ALREADY SHIPPED HALF A MILLION UNITS.

[Super Dave] WHAT?

YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! DON'T GET TOO UPSET.

IT'S BAD FOR YOUR SKIN TONE.

HEE-HEE-HEE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, D.J.

HE CAN'T BELIEVE ME.

DID YOU GET THAT? ALL RIGHT, FOLLOW ME.

TAKE IT AWAY. COME ON.

THIS PLACE IS GETTIN' SMALLER BY THE MINUTE.

COME ON, PAL.BYE.

HE SHOOTS.

HE SCORES! THE CROWD GOES WILD!

[Man] BRING IT BACK. YOU GOT PLENTY OF ROOM.

ALL RIGHT, MIMES, LET'S GO.

BYE, FELLAS.

WHERE ARE THE MIMES GOING? I CAN'T AFFORD TO KEEP 'EM ANYMORE.

YOU REALLY LOVE THEM.

DON'T YOU? YEAH, I DO, VERY MUCH.

A LOT OF PEOPLE REALLY LOVE THE OCEAN.

SOME LOVE THE DESERT, SOME LOVE THE MOUNTAINS.

[Handler] HEY!

I LOVE A GOOD MIME CLIMBING THE STAIRS, PULLING A ROPE.

- I LOVE YOU GUYS. - THEY'RE IN. GET BACK.

I'LL MISS YA.WHY DO THEY HAVE A FENCE AROUND THEM?

TWO YEARS AGO, I LOST MY FAVORITE MIME MORTY.

HE WANDERED OFF, AND THEY DON'T YELL FOR HELP.

REMEMBER, FELLAS, DON'T DRINK OUT OF THE TOILET.

SEE YA.

BYE, MIMES.

SHOOT! HE MISSES. HE GRABS HIS REBOUND.

HE TURNS AROUND. HE SHOOTS AGAIN!

[Siren Wailing] [Fireman] THE HOUSE IS BURNING AGAIN, OSBORNE!

TWENTY-TWO STRAIGHT DAYS! WE'RE NOT HAPPY!

[Super Dave] GUYS, WE'RE GOING IN THE TANK.

THIS MONTH WE PAID OUT TWICE WHAT WE TOOK IN.THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

THE YOUNGEST, THE GREATEST, THE FASTEST, THE WILDEST!

SEVEN MORE RECORDS IN THREE MONTHS!

THE NINTH WONDER OF THE WORLD, SUPER DAVE JUNIOR!

I'M SUPER DAVE OSBORNE, JUNIOR TELLING YOU, KIDS:

♪ IF YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS THEY'LL TELL YOU YOU'RE A FOOL ♪

♪ YOU GOTTA GO TO BED YOU GOTTA STAY IN SCHOOL ♪

♪ BUT I'M A LIVING LEGEND I DID IT MY WAY ♪

♪ JOIN SUPER JUNIOR STUNT SCHOOL I'LL TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY ♪♪♪

WHAT? [Ruston] MEMBERSHIPS AVAILABLE...

FOR $100 WHILE THEY LAST.

YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO MISS IT. AND IF YOU'RE SUPER DAVE, YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT AT ALL.

SLOW DOWN!

COME ON, FRANKIE, STOP FOOLING AROUND. YOU GOTTA LEARN TO FOCUS.

I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU SAY. I ALREADY KNOW THE TRICKS.

I BOUGHT SUPER DAVE JUNIOR'S HOME STUNT KIT.

HEY, OSBORNE! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF WATER!

- COME ON, ENOUGH'S ENOUGH! - HOW YOU DOIN', FELLAS?

NO! NO, DON'T GO OVER THE BELL LINE! STOP!

[Bell Rings]

FUJ, YOU DID IT!

COME HERE! GREAT JOB, GREAT JOB!

WHAT DID I DO? YOU FIXED THE BELL LINE.

THANK YOU, SUPER. BUT IT IS NOT COMPLETELY FIXED.

RIGHT NOW IT IS ONLY TEMPORARILY FIXED. IT'S ON A DELAY.

- A DELAY? - YES, 30 SECONDS.

WHAT'LL IT BE TODAY? TOUR? WASH AND TOUR?

WASH, FILL IT UP AND TOUR? PARTIAL WASH? PARTIAL-- MA'AM.

JUST FILL IT UP, DOG BREATH.

OH. WE ARE FILLING.

FUJ, IF YOU'RE GONNA FOOL AROUND WITH TEMPORARY DELAY SWITCHES,

PLEASE PUT UP A SIGN SO PEOPLE DON'T DRIVE OVER THE BELL LINE.

I DID PUT UP A SIGN! SEE? PLAIN AS DAY.

I WRITE FASTER IN JAPANESE.

- AM I INTERRUPTING A SEANCE, GENTLEMEN? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN GETTING YOUR GOOD NAME BACK. HEAR THIS.

THE GREAT SUPER DAVE OSBORNE...

COMES OUT OF RETIREMENT TO TRY TO REGAIN HIS TITLE FROM HIS STAR PUPIL.

WHO IS THE WORLD'S GREATEST STUNTMAN?

THE MASTER... OR THE STUDENT?

AN INTERNATIONAL PAY-PER-VIEW EVENT THAT WILL MAKE US BOTH RICH MEN.

SOUNDS EXCITING.

AH, SOMEONE WITH SOME SENSE. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'VE HAD THE PLEASURE.

TAKE YOUR HAIR AND GET OUT OF HERE. DON'T FALL OFF YOUR SHOES.

- YOU GOT A CHANCE TO MAKE $10 MILLION. - MONEY IS NOT THE ISSUE.

OKAY. IF YOU COME TO YOUR SENSES, YOU KNOW WHERE TO REACH ME.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. BUT THERE'S A LONG LINE, HONEY.

WHAT A JERK!

YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT.

IS HE SERIOUS ABOUT $10 MILLION?

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE? YOU KNOW I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE.

- I KNOW. - WE'LL BE OKAY.

WHAT A JERK. HOW DO WE GET THE TRUCK BACK UP?

IT'S ON DELAY!

BOY, THIS IS... DELICIOUS.

MMM.

GUYS, LET'S CUT THE SMALL TALK.

THERE COMES A TIME WHEN THE CHILDREN MUST LEAVE THE NEST.

IS HE TALKING ABOUT BIRDS? I THINK SO.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT BIRDS.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE THREE OF YOU.

I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME AND FIND NEW JOBS.

WE COULDN'T LEAVE YOU. WHAT ABOUT THE BUSINESS?

WHAT BUSINESS? WE HAVE NO BUSINESS.

WE DON'T MAKE MONEY. WE CAN'T EVEN EAT.

WE NOT LEAVE YOU.NO!

LET ME MAKE IT PLAIN. YOU GUYS BORE ME. YOU ALWAYS HAVE AND YOU ALWAYS WILL.

I KNOW MIKE'S A LITTLE DULL, BUT FUJ AND I HOLD OUR OWN.

LOOK, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I'M WASHED UP. I'M A HAS-BEEN.

THE ONLY THING I OWN ARE THE PICTURES ON THIS WALL. JUST LEAVE NOW, PLEASE.

WE ALL KNOW THAT LIFE IS A GAME. A GAME OF UPS AND--

NOT NOW.

OF COURSE. I'LL WRITE YOU.

BOY, THAT'S A SHOCK. I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO PACK.

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, BUT STILL IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE TIME TO PACK.

THIS IS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE.

EVEN WORSE THAN WHEN YOU FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY.

I'M SOR-- DON'T WORRY.

WE ARE LEAVING, AND WE WILL NEVER CAUSE YOU A PROBLEM AGAIN!

WAIT, REMEMBER...

DON'T SLAM THE DOOR.

WHY ME?

WHAT DID I-- OH, WHAT'S THAT STENCH?

[Super Dave] MY LOST MIME, MORTY!

MORTY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

NO, DON'T RUN AWAY!

I'M GONNA THROW YOU A ROPE AND PULL YOU UP. HERE.

HOLD ON TIGHT. COME ON, MORTY, I'LL PULL YOU UP.

OH, MY GOSH! IT SMELLS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN ROLLING IN SHEEP AGAIN!

ARE YOU AFRAID?

I'M GONNA LET GO NOW. NOW, LOOK, THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF, IS THERE?

EXCEPT FOR THIS LOOSE SAND!

I'M OKAY, I'M ALL RIGHT, I'M FINE, I'M GOOD, I'M NOT TOO SWELL.

[TV Announcer] THIS IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL SOAKERS.

THE NEW LARAMIE SUPER SOAKER XP-105. TWICE THE DRENCH OF YOUR--

SUPER DAVE JUNIOR SET THE WORLD RECORD TODAY WHEN HE CLEARED THE PALAMESA GORGE...

SHATTERING THE OLD RECORD HELD BY HIS MENTOR, SUPER DAVE SENIOR.

BUT AS USUAL, THE MAVERICK HAD FEW KIND WORDS FOR HIS NAMESAKE.

ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS OUGHTA FINALLY PROVE WHO THE WORLD'S GREATEST DAREDEVIL IS.

HEY, HAS-BEEN,

IF YOU'RE WATCHING, WHICH YOU PROBABLY ARE 'CAUSE YOU GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO,

HERE IT IS!

COME AND GET IT. UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE... CHICKEN. [Clucking]

WE'RE AT THE MAGNIFICENT GLEN EDDIE GOLF COURSE.

WE AT THE SLAMMY WHAMMY COMPANY ARE VERY EXCITED TO WELCOME...

OUR NEW INFOMERCIAL CELEBRITY SPOKESMAN,

THE GREAT SUPER DAVE OSBORNE! HOW YOU DOIN'?

HOW'S RETIREMENT? I HEARD--THINGS ARE GREAT.

PLAYING A LITTLE GOLF?

JUST GIVE ME THE CLUB.

I'VE HIT A LOT OF GOLF CLUBS IN MY LIFE, BUT NEVER ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

WITH A SLAMMY WHAMMY, I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING.

320 DOWN THE MIDDLE EVERY TIME!

YOU CAN'T BEAT THE SLAMMY WHAMMY GOLF CLUB.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. COME IN HERE. HI, TEDDY.FREDDY.

TEDDY RODRIQUEZ HAS BEEN PLAYING GOLF FOR A YEAR. HE'S A 32 HANDICAP.

HOW FAR DO YOU USUALLY HIT YOUR DRIVES? ABOUT 200 YARDS.

I WAS WORKING WITH HIM. 320!

IT'S A MAGIC CLUB. IT HITS THE BALL ITSELF. BUY IT.

WHAT ABOUT THE SUPER DAVE "BALL IN THE MOUTH" SHOT?

- I DIDN'T THINK WE HAD TIME. - CONTRACT SAYS YOU DO.

WE'LL DO THE SUPER DAVE-- WHAT'S THE SUPER DAVE--

I'LL SHOW YOU. DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.

GET A BALL.

EASY.

[Freddy] I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

OKAY, LEFT ARM STRAIGHT. SPARROW IN THE HAND.

HIP TURNED--JUST HIT IT.

YIKES!

WOW! WHAT A SHOT! 450 YARDS! NICE GOING!

AND NOW SUPER DAVE GETS READY TO JUMP!

THERE HE GOES! THE CROWD GOES WILD!

YEA! [Making Engine Revving Noises]

HEY, TIMMY. HOW YOU DOIN', PAL?

HEY, GOT A SUPER DAVE JUNIOR HAT FOR YA.

YOU SHOULD GO TO MY STUNT SCHOOL SOMETIME.

BET YOU'D HAVE A GOOD TIME. I HAVE A GOOD TIME HERE.

OH, YEAH? ALL BY YOURSELF? NO!

HAVE YOU EVEN LEARNED TO JUMP THAT RAMP YET?

- I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO. - WHAT ARE YOU? AFRAID?

NO. SUPER DAVE TOLD ME I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO JUMP THE RAMP.

MAN, YOU LISTEN TO SUPER DAVE, YOU'RE GONNA GROW UP JUST LIKE HE IS.

BROKE, SCARED TO DEATH AND ALL ALONE.

TELL SUPER I CAME BY.

SEE YA, KID.

YOU JERK! I'LL SHOW HIM.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SUPER DAVE OSBORNE'S SON, TIMMY OSBORNE,

IS NOW ABOUT TO MAKE THE JUMP OF HIS LIFE!

THE CROWD IS GOING WILD!

TIMMY LOOKS AT THE RAMP. REVS UP HIS MOTORCYCLE.

WAVES TO THE CROWD, AND THERE HE GOES!

FORTY MILES AN HOUR! FIFTY! A HUNDRED!

[Yelling]

[Woman] I'M NOT TIMMY! GET OUT OF HERE! I'M SORRY.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? SHE WAS COVERED UP.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE KISSED HER. IS SHE CONTAGIOUS? OH, NO.

THERE YOU ARE. I'VE BEEN TO 12 ROOMS.

WHAT HAPPENED? D.J. WAS AT THE COMPOUND...

SCARING THE LIFE OUT OF HIM, TEASING HIM, SO TIMMY TRIED TO PROVE SOMETHING.

EXCUSE ME. I'M AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS.

THIS TRAUMA HAS ADVANCED TIMMY'S HEART PROBLEM.

WE CAN'T PUT THE OPERATION OFF. WE'RE LOOKING AT THREE TO FOUR WEEKS TOPS.

DOCTOR. OH, TIMMY!

MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK.

HI, PAL. HOW YOU DOIN'?

I'M SORRY, SUPER DAVE.

I KNOW I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO--

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. YOU'VE A VERY BRAVE, WONDERFUL LITTLE BOY!

AND YOU'RE GONNA GET BETTER. I GUARANTEE IT, TIMMY.

GET SOME REST.SUPER DAVE?

WHAT?

YOU CALLED ME TIMMY.

OH. I'M SORRY, TEDDY. I'M JUST NOT VERY GOOD WITH NAMES.

[Trumpeting]

ANOTHER SINGAPORE SLING FOR THE GOLDEN MAN, AND A DOUBLE FOR WHATEVER MY FRIEND WANTS.

HONEY, YOU'RE FORGETTING WHAT THE DEAL WAS.

FIRST YOU GET SUPER DAVE TO MAKE THE JUMP.

THEN YOU GET THE MONEY. GIL, I NEED THE MONEY NOW.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SON'S LIFE. THAT'S WHY I CHOSE YOU!

A HIGHLY MOTIVATED MOTHER CAN DO ALMOST ANYTHING.

YOU UNFEELING SON OF A BITCH! WAIT A SECOND.

I'M NOT THE ONE THAT LEFT YOU PENNILESS.

I'M THE ONE THAT RESCUED YOU AFTER YOUR GOOD-FOR-NOTHING HUSBAND VAMOOSED!

I TRIED TO GET HIM TO JUMP. IT'S JUST-- IT'S JUST WHAT?

THAT IT'S HARD? YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU FELL FOR THE GUY. SO BIG DEAL. LIFE IS FULL OF HARD CHOICES.

WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE 'EM.

OOH, LOOK AT THIS!

PRALINE TART.

[Ruston] WHAT WILL I CHOOSE?

[Elephant Trumpeting]

[P.A. System] TRASH CART TO I.C.U. NUMBER THREE.

TRASH CART-- DISREGARD. TRASH ELEVATOR. [Super Dave] HI.

THERE YOU ARE! ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH, I'M OKAY.I MADE YOU LUNCH.

- I KNOW HOW TERRIBLE THAT HOSPITAL-- - I'M NOT REALLY HUNGRY.

YOU'VE GOT TO EAT. IT'S PURE PROTEIN.

THERE'S A BEAN BURGER. RAW BROCCOLI.

DELICIOUS CABBAGE SOUP.

WOOF.

AND A SOY BEAN SHAKE.

I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT DOES SMELL GOOD.

BOY, THIS IS NICE AND FIRM.

MMM!

[Burps] OOPS, EXCUSE ME.

BOY, YOU ARE A GREAT COOK.YEAH?

ALMOST MAKES ME WISH I'D FINISHED THAT COOKING COURSE.

SUP, THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

- I KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME. - YOU DO?

WE BOTH KNOW THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO PAY FOR TIMMY'S OPERATION.

I'M GOING TO ACCEPT RUSTON'S OFFER.

NO.YES.

NO! NO.YES. YES.

- NO. - YES. - NO!

YES! AND THERE'S NO ARGUING. [Flatulence] YOU CAN'T!

WHEN I FIRST MET YOU, IT WASN'T BY ACCIDENT.

I WAS SENT BY RUSTON.

RUSTON? [Flatulence] HE PUT ME UP IN THAT HOUSE.

I WAS TO GET YOU TO LIKE ME SO I COULD CONVINCE YOU TO DO THE STUNT FOR HIM.

I NEEDED THE MONEY. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS BAD. JUST ONE STUNT!

[Flatulence] RUSTON?

YOU'RE KIDDING! BUT THEN I GOT TO KNOW YOU, AND I JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

[Burps]

I NEED TO BE ALONE FOR A MOMENT.

THE KID NEEDS ME. [Flatulence] I'M GONNA HAVE TO JUMP.

PLEASE, NOT NOW. SHOULD I JUMP OR NOT? [Flatulence]

THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD.

IT'S OCCUPIED, YOU IDIOT! I DIDN'T SEE ANY SHOES.

MY HEART IS ON FIRE.

FOCUS, SUP. JUST DO IT. [Flatulence]

YOU CAN'T DO IT. YOU MUST DO IT! YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.

[Man] JUST DO IT, JERK!

ALL RIGHT. I'LL DO IT!

[Motor Revving Sound]

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

[Screaming]

PLEASE, NO AUTOGRAPHS.

LISTEN TO ME.

PLEASE, DON'T TALK, JUST LISTEN.

I'VE HAD A MOMENT TO THINK. [Flatulence]

YOU CAN TELL YOUR PAL, RUSTON, I'LL PLAY HIS STUPID LITTLE GAME.

AND I GUARANTEE YOU, YOUR KID'LL GET HIS OPERATION.

NO, SWEETHEART. YOU AND I ARE THROUGH.

[Groans]

LET'S NOT CAUSE A SCENE. LET'S TRY TO END THIS WITH DIGNITY.

[Flatulence]

[Ruston] ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU'VE MET THE GLADIATORS.

LET'S NOT WASTE ANOTHER SECOND!

ONE OF THESE GENTLEMEN HAS AGREED TO ATTEMPT A WORLD RECORD STUNT.

AND IF SUCCESSFUL, WILL PROVE BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT...

WHO IS THE GREATEST DAREDEVIL IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

- WHOO! YEAH! - [Cheering]

ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, I BELIEVE YOU KNOW THE RULES.

LET'S PROCEED WITH THE CHALLENGE!

ALL RIGHT, I WILL JUMP...

FIVE BUSSES, TWO FIRE ENGINES,

AND A TRACTOR.

YOU'RE UP, HAS-BEEN.

GO FOR IT, SUPER. DON'T GIVE UP AGAIN.

I'LL DOUBLE IT.

WHOO-OOO-OOO! WELL, I'LL DOUBLE YOUR JUMP AND ADD TWO FIRE TRUCKS.

- THAT'S NOTHING! - WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, SUPER.

I'LL DOUBLE THAT.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. DO I HEAR TEN BUSES,

EIGHT FIRE ENGINES, THREE TRACTORS?

WHAT ABOUT 20 BUSES?

I CAN'T JUMP 20 BUSES. HEY, IF HE DON'T BITE,

I AIN'T DOIN' THIS STUNT.HE NEEDS THE MONEY FOR THE KID. HE'LL BITE.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

I WILL JUMP 20 BUSES,

20 FIRE TRUCKS, THREE TANKS AND THREE BIPLANES!

HOW 'BOUT THAT, PEOPLE? [Laughing]

WAIT! I'M NOT FINISHED HERE. I WILL ALSO FILL THEM WITH DYNAMITE AND TOXIC WASTE!

YEAH! [Laughing]

HEY, GO FOR IT! JUMP 50 BUSES!

JUMP A HUNDRED TRUCKS!

A HUNDRED TRUCKS? THAT'S A HALF A MILE.

- MAKE THAT JUMP. - WHAT JUMP?

YOU HEARD IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. YOU WERE WITNESS.

SUPER DAVE OSBORNE HAS AGREED TO JUMP A HALF A MILE.

- AM I THE GREATEST? - YEAH! YEAH!

HE SAID HALF A MILE. I DIDN'T SAY HALF A MILE.

- [Mockingly] ARE YOU AFRAID, SUPER? - I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

- ARE YOU GONNA DO IT, SUPER? - I DON'T KNOW.

- WHAT KIND OF CAR, SUPER? - I DON'T KNOW.

- DON'T YOU EVER USE ROCKETS? - I DON'T KNOW.

- ARE YOU AFRAID? - I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

[Grandpa's Voice] WHEN IT'S TIME TO QUIT, DON'T PUSH IT; JUST SAY GOOD-BYE.

[Bell Rings]

DON'T GO OVER THE BELL LINE!

WHAT A NIGHTMARE!

[Sirens Wailing]

I'M SORRY, SIR. WE'RE CLOSED.

[Laughing] SUPER!

MICHAEL! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

YOU CAN ONLY DO SO MANY MUD PIT WRESTLING MATCHES.

SUP! HOW ARE YA?

MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND!

IT'S OKAY, MY FAULT. FLIPPED A BURGER WITHOUT THE SPATULA.

GOD, I MISSED YOU GUYS! WHAT ABOUT ME?

I'VE BEEN CALLING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

GUYS, WE'RE BACK!

LISTEN,

WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME SO LET'S GO!

OKAY! LET'S GO! HERE WE GO! THIS IS GREAT.

THE WORK IS HERE. [Donald] OH!

[Donald] WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS, SUPER.

WHAT'S THIS GARBAGE? WHERE'S THE SHELBY?

WE NEEDED THE MONEY SO WE TRADED IT TO ONE OF THE MOVERS.

GOT $1,700 AND THE CHARGER.

MMM!

- $1,700? - YEAH.

THAT WAS A MINT '67 SHELBY G.T. 500 MUSTANG...

428 WITH HOLLY CARBS.

IT COST OVER $60,000.

WHAT ARE YOU SO UPSET ABOUT? YOU NEVER DROVE IT.

ONLY HAD 93 MILES ON IT.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? THE SHELBY WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THE JUMP.

NO, BUT A ROCKET CAR MIGHT.

♪ HERE WE GO ♪

LOOKING GREAT!

♪♪♪ [Singing Continues Indistinct]

TIGHTER.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THAT A BEAUTY? - AMAZING!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOU GUYS HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELVES.

YEAH, WELL.

ONCE AGAIN, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW THRILLED I AM.

BUT I'M ALSO CONCERNED ABOUT SECURITY.

WE GOTTA BE CAREFUL. WE GOT SOMETHING TO PROTECT IN THERE.

WE ARE WAY AHEAD OF YOU. WE'VE TAKEN CARE OF EVERYTHING.

WE HAVE THE BEST LOCK IN THE WORLD. THERE.

I SHOW YOU. HERE WE GO.

YOU HAPPY, SUPER?

I'M VERY HAPPY.

FUJ, LET ME GIVE YOU A PIECE OF ADVICE.YES?

NEXT TIME YOU SHOOT A BULLET AT A METAL OBJECT, BE CAREFUL OF THE RICOCHET. OH?

YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE THAT BULLET CAME TO LODGING IN MY KNEE?

NO. HOW CLOSE? IT'S IN MY THIGH.

YEAH, I GOT IN THROUGH THE ROOF. THE CAR LOOKS BEAUTIFUL!

- CAN IT CLEAR THE JUMP? - NOTHING CAN CLEAR THAT JUMP.

LISTEN, I BET EVERYTHING SHORT OF MY KID'S COLLEGE FUND.

WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? I BET THAT TOO, AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A KID!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I NEED A GUARANTEE.

OH, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

LET'S TRY GOING UPSIDE DOWN.

[Laughing]

GOOD-BYE, SUPER ONE.

[Thunderclaps]

[Man] GO AHEAD, BRING IT IN. LET'S GO.

REMEMBER, NOW'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO ORDER.

FRIDAY NIGHT YOU'RE GONNA SEE THE GREATEST STUNT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

YOU DON'T WANNA MISS IT. JUST DIAL 1-800-SUPER-D...

AND YOU WON'T BE LEFT OUT.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THAT'S ENOUGH MEDIA. THANK YOU.

SUPER, YOU WERE GREAT. THE PHONES ARE RINGING OFF THE HOOK.

I HOPE THIS STORM LETS UP.OH, YEAH, DON'T WORRY.

OH, LITTLE TIMMY'S ON THE PHONE. OH, GREAT.

HELLO, BIG GUY. DID YOU GET THAT STUNT SET I SENT YOU?

YES, I HAVE IT ALL SET UP.GREAT.

HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO. TOMORROW WHEN I'M DOING THE STUNT,

I WANT YOU TO TAKE THAT LITTLE CAR WITH ME IN IT AND JUMP OVER ALL THE CARS.

AND WHEN WE BOTH LAND, KNOW THAT I DID THIS STUNT FOR YOU.

I WILL. SUPER?

- WHAT IS IT, BUDDY? - I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU TOO! LET ME TALK TO THE DOCTOR.BYE, SUPER.

- LISTEN, DO YOU HAVE A PENCIL AND PIECE OF PAPER? - YEAH, SURE DO.

WRITE THIS NOTE AND PUT IT UNDER HIS PILLOW SO IT'S THE FIRST THING HE SEES.

- ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD. - DEAR TIMMY.

OH, SHOCK ME!

TOAST ME! EAT ME! BITE ME!

I'M A FRENCH-FRIED, SHOCK-EATING LIGHTNING ROD!

HELLO? ARE YOU STILL THERE? [Dave Grunting]

[Groaning]

IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU, I'M JUST GONNA SIGN THIS, "LOVE, SUPER."

OH, NO.

I'M REAL SORRY I DIDN'T CALL YOU BACK.

I'VE BEEN BUSY.THAT'S OKAY. I CAME TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

SUP, I REALLY APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR TIMMY.

DON'T THANK ME. HE'S A GREAT KID.

YEAH.

WELL, I GUESS I SHOULD BE GOING NOW.

[Sighs] GOOD LUCK TOMORROW.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WAIT!

- WHAT YOU DID WASN'T SO BAD. - ARE YOU SAYING YOU FORGIVE ME?

I'M SAYING I NEED YOU TOMORROW. I WANT YOU TO STAY, BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.

I WANT TO.

ARE THOSE TEARS OF JOY?

PARTIALLY. [Groaning]

- [Gasps] - PERHAPS YOU COULD MOVE FORWARD A COUPLE OF INCHES.

- I'M SORRY! - SO AM I.

OH? AAH!

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING. IT JUST WENT OVER THE TOES.

WE'LL CUT THESE BABIES OFF AND NO ONE'LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

WOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT SUPER DAVE'S GONNA DO?

OH, MY GOODNESS.

HE WROTE ME A LETTER, YOU KNOW.

REALLY? HOW SWEET.

COULD YOU READ IT TO ME? OF COURSE I COULD, DEAR.

- WHAT'S WRONG? - NOTHING.

APPARENTLY SUPER DAVE WAS VERY EXCITED WHEN HE WROTE THIS.

- PLEASE READ IT TO ME. - IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH TO READ.

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, SISTER?

"DEAR TIMMY.

"OH, FUNNY ME.

"OH, SILLY ME.

"EATY ME. BITEY ME.

LOVE, SUPER."

WELL, WASN'T THAT A NICE LETTER?

YEAH, THAT WAS GREAT.

BUT WHY DID YOU LEAVE OUT ABOUT THE FRENCH-FRIED, SHOCK-EATING LIGHTNING ROD?

[Gasps]

MAYBE THIS WAY. [Donald] TRY IT THE OTHER WAY.

NO GOOD!

THERE YOU GO. POKE IT.

IT WON'T OPEN!

HOW ABOUT A HAMMER?

YEAH.

BANG HARDER.

WE GOT IT THIS TIME.

IT'S OPEN!

[Laughing]

YOU DID IT!

IT'S EMPTY.

THE PUBLIC HAS BEEN BARRED FROM TONIGHT'S EVENT BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL EXPLOSIVE DANGER.

HOWEVER, AN ESTIMATED WORLDWIDE AUDIENCE OF 100 MILLION PEOPLE ARE WATCHING.

THE EYES OF THE WORLD ARE ON SUPER DAVE OSBORNE!

EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS CAR, I GET CHILLS. YOU OUTDID YOURSELVES!

- BE THE MAN! - I WILL BE. QUICK QUESTION. WHAT ABOUT WINDSHIELD WASHERS?

WATER AND DUST MAKE MUD. WE HAVE AIR TO CLEAN WINDSHIELD.

- THAT BRAIN NEVER STOPS WORKING, DOES IT? - YES!

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

INTO THE CAR. THERE WE GO.

AND HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.

EASY. THERE WE GO.

- THERE YOU GO. - HERE WE GO. OKAY, EASY.

OW! OW! HERE WE GO.

EASY. OW. OKAY, AND I'M ALMOST IN.

TURN YOUR NECK. TURN. TURN.

HERE WE GO. OKAY. [Donald] YOU'RE IN.

- THERE YOU GO. - OOH.

AND I'M IN! WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE THE WINDOW BIGGER?

BECAUSE IF I HAD MADE THE WINDOW BIGGER,

THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OPEN THE DOOR.

YOU SEE?

HERE'S THE MAN! HERE'S THE MAN! CHECK THAT OUT.

HISTORY TONIGHT SHOW 'EM THE BELT.

OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW! SUPER'S GOING DOWN!

HERE'S THE MAN! IT'S SUPER DAVE JUNIOR. WITH A J-R.

[Man On Loudspeaker] ALL UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL, PLEASE CLEAR THE AREA.

PROTECTIVE CLOTHING IN BUNKERS IS OPTIONAL.

[Walden] THERE HE GOES!

IN APPROXIMATELY FIVE MINUTES, SUPER DAVE OSBORNE WILL BE ATTEMPTING...

THE GREATEST FEAT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

[Super Dave] EVERYTHING FEELS REAL SOLID.

WOW, THIS BABY IS HUMMIN'!

ALL RIGHT, FUJ,

I WANT TO GO WITH A SHORT JUMP TEST FIRST.

HERE WE GO!

UP! OVER!

FEELS GREAT.

OKAY, NOW WE'RE GONNA TEST THE STEERING.

- OH, THIS BABY HANDLES! - GREAT!

HAVING A LITTLE FUN, FUJ!

STEERING, PERFECT!

FUJ, THE WINDSHIELD'S DUSTY. WHAT DO I DO?

[Fuji] FLIP THE AIR SWITCH.

- IT'S NOT WORKING. - TURN ON THE BOOSTER.

[Fuji] HOW IS THE WINDSHIELD NOW?

I'M NOT SURE. PART OF IT'S IN MY CHEST AND THE REST IS IN THE BACKSEAT.

PUT THE VISOR DOWN. IT WILL PROTECT YOU LIKE A WINDSHIELD AND KEEP THE BUGS OUT.

I'M STILL GETTING BUGS IN MY TEETH.

[Fuji] OPEN YOUR MOUTH. THEY DON'T LIKE AIR.

I'VE GOT A SQUIRREL IN MY MOUTH! I CAN'T TALK!

[Fuji] WHAT DID YOU SAY?

GO PLAY WITH YOUR YOUNG! CAN YOU HEAR ME?

[Fuji] I CAN'T HEAR YOU.THE SQUIRREL BROKE THE RADIO.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

AND HERE HE COMES NOW! LESS THAN A MILE FROM THE RAMP!

[Phone Ringing]

HELLO?

- LET ME TALK TO FUJI. - HE'S BUSY RIGHT NOW.

- NOW! I NEED HIM NOW! - OKAY, OKAY.

- IT'S FOR YOU. - OH.

- WHAT'S GOING ON? - EVERYTHING'S A-O-- OH, OH!

"A-O-- OH, OH"? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

- IT IS NOT GOOD, SUPER. - WHAT'S NOT GOOD?

- WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU MUST-- - YOU'RE ON TALK RADIO. - WHAT?

- YOU WILL BE OKAY AS LONG AS YOU DON'T-- - DIVORCE HIM.

GET OFF THE LINE! FUJI, AS LONG AS I DON'T WHAT?

OH, NO!

EJECT YOURSELF FROM THE CAR! WE HAVE BEEN SABOTAGED!

SUPER DAVE, BETTER JUMP!

- HERE WE GO! - THE BOOSTER WILL NEVER WORK!

THERE'S NO TURNING BACK!

HANG ON!

- THERE HE GOES! - [Laughing]

COME ON, CAR, GO!

YEAH.

- OH, NO! - [Gasps]

- OHH! - [Laughing]

IT'S OVER! WELL, AT LEAST I'VE HAD A GREAT LIFE.

I'VE GOT ONE CHANCE. THE AFTERBURNER!

COME ON!

- NO! - ATTA BABY!

IT'S WORKING!

I'M GONNA MAKE IT!

YES!

GO!

I MADE IT!

[Laughing] HE MADE IT!

- YEAH! YES! - HE MADE IT.

OH, SORRY, BABY.

I THOUGHT YOU SABOTAGED THE CAR! I DID.

THERE'S NO WAY THAT BOOSTER SHOULD'VE WORKED. I MIXED UP HIS CHIPS.

THAT'S WHY HE MADE IT! [Groans]

I MADE IT! I DID IT!

FUJI, WE MADE IT! TIMMY!

ALL RIGHT!

I MADE IT! SUPER DAVE IS BACK!

I DID IT FOR YOU, TIMMY! I'M KING OF THE WORLD!

YOO-HOO! YE-HEE-HEEE!

OH, NO! REMEMBER YOUR TRAINING, SUPER.

KEEP YOUR KNEES BENT AND BREAK THE FALL WITH YOUR FEET!

HERE THEY COME! [Donald] GO, SUPER DAVE!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

GOOD LUCK! [Donald] CONGRATULATIONS, SUP.

IT'S A GREAT DAY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU. IT'S GREAT TO SEE ALL OF YOU! GREAT WEDDING.

THANK YOU! YOU'RE GREAT. LISTEN, LISTEN UP.

WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED IN VEGAS.

WE'RE BACK IN THREE HOURS. SO HAVE A BLAST TILL WE GET BACK. THANK YOU.

SANDY.

YOU LOOK SENSATIONAL!

YOU DON'T LOOK BAD YOURSELF.

YOU TAKE CARE OF LITTLE LOUIE.

MORTY.MORTY?

DO YOU HAVE THE DIRECTIONS? I HAVE THE DIRECTIONS.

DON'T STOP UNTIL WE GET TO THE CHAPEL.I DON'T STOP.

GO.GO.

SUPER, WE GOT YOU THIS WEDDING GIFT TO COMPLETE YOUR SET.

HARLEY AND GIGGLES THE CLOWN. [Giggles]

YOU CAN RETURN 'EM.

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT! BYE!

SOMETHING HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME. WHY DID YOU NOT PUT D.J. AND RUSTON IN JAIL?

THEY COULD HAVE KILL-- BECAUSE JAIL IS TORTURE.

THIS WAY THEY'RE ABLE TO GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY.

OOH!

WE'LL BE BACK IN THREE HOURS. HAVE A GREAT TIME.

[Woman] SEE YA!

[Ruston] THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE AGAIN!

LET'S GO, ROOKIES!

GENTLEMEN, TIME TO PUT IT OUT AGAIN.

HOW MUCH LONGER WE HAVE TO FIGHT THIS STUPID FIRE?

AS SOON AS IT'S OUT FOR GOOD, YOU'RE FREE TO GO.

REMEMBER, DON'T STOP UNTIL WE GET TO THE CHAPEL.DON'T STOP.

I'M GONNA GO SEE IF HE'S READY FOR ME. READY FOR ME.

- ARE YOU READY FOR ME? - NOT YET.

- I WANNA COME UP NOW. - NO.

- YES! YES! - NO!

NO! I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I'M READY.

THE PRE-WEDDING CELEBRATION'S READY. COME ON UP, CINDY.

- SANDY! - COME ON! I'M READY!

- NO. - NO.

- YES! - NO!

- NO! - YES!

- NO! - [Everyone] NO!

- [Screams] - ALL RIGHT. I'LL CELEBRATE BY MYSELF.

OH, NO! YOU STUPID MIME!

OH, EXTREME PAIN!

[Yells] THERE GOES THE SEQUEL!

HI AGAIN, IT'S ME, SUPER. I HOPE YOU'VE REALLY ENJOYED THE MOVIE.

OOPS, I SHOULDN'T BE TALKING AND DRIVING. LET ME PULL OVER.

[Man] DON'T PARK THERE!

I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE.

I JUST WANTED TO SAY, DRIVE HOME CAREFULLY.

AND LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS WHEN THEY TELL YOU TO BUCKLE UP,

BECAUSE YOU NEVER CAN TELL WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN. [Man] LOOK OUT!

YOU SEE? IF I HADN'T BEEN WEARING A SEAT BELT, I COULD'VE GOTTEN HURT.

SEE YA.