Original subtitles

I'm... to curl from music school.

Kind of a dork, like everyone else.

At school, I met Mal and Ben.

We became best friends, bandmates, a songwriting trio, my tribe.

Now we live together and make music together in a cool house in Malibu.

uncle loaned it to us for the summer. I really love it here.

We were living the dream.

But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Now, it's time to jam.

Yeah.

That might be the single.

That was orgasmic.

Yeah, yeah, I think it sounded great. Let me just work on some harmony.

We all got day jobs.

Ben worked for Mr. Morton, our weird neighbor, doing sound design.

Melanie was producing at a rock label, and I was, well, waitressing and

auditioning, of course.

And now that I was living in L .A., there were endless weddings, baby

and family get -togethers.

Excited for the big family weekend?

Hell no.

Well, they love you, and so do we.

Love you.

Barry.

Hi, Barry.

Yes. I know.

I didn't forget two triple red eye lattes, bagels, and Advil. I'm on my

Bye.

Hiya. Hi.

What? The label loved our demo. Yeah.

They want five more songs, but full mixes, not garage band demos.

How are we ever going to afford this?

Would Big Barry let us mix at night?

Doubt it.

What are we talking, like 10, 20?

No, that's right.

30 ,000, 40 ,000?

This label is amazing.

Hey, hey, we'll get another shot.

Do you mind feeding Mac tonight?

I might be up late.

Work or hot date?

Maybe both.

Another lead guitarist kind of dude?

No, maybe the bass player for the Silicon Beaches.

Vanessa Lee?

Oh, dude, she's smoking hot.

What else? I only date guys under 30 or female rockers on tour with no strings.

Yeah, flawless plan, I must say.

Hey, Ben.

When my uncle sells this house, free rent's over.

We have to make this demo.

We have to find the money.

Mel worked as a studio engineer for one of the best rock labels in Hollywood.

But her boss gave a whole new meaning to the word jerk.

You want to pump the cup?

Uh, yeah.

All right, I'm going to say five.

Good luck.

Hey, Barry. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.

Find me the next blockhead yet?

You got good ears, kid.

That's what I pay you for.

But actually, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.

I was wondering if maybe we could use your studio just for a few nights?

What? You mixing?

In my studio?

Mel, I got news for you. We got eight bands with new albums they gotta finish.

We'll talk about you in the studio when things slow down.

Next summer, maybe.

Call me Saturday by 9 a .m. with notes on this.

And take those morons out on the town.

Limos, bottle service, whatever.

Just make sure they bring us the next album. Yeah, sure.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Ready to impress, darling?

Yeah, I thought they wanted a soprano. There's like 50 guys here.

Do they ever know what they want?

Do they, baby?

Do they, baby?

You got this.

Alejandra Martin?

Soprano?

I see here you went to Juilliard. Impressive.

But what's your instrument?

Violin, mostly.

And voice.

Violin. Handy.

Pina, cue up the spot.

Nice job.

We'll let you know.

Another audition.

Bombed. Thank God I had my friend Steven to help cheer me up.

He was always bailing me out.

And Ben worked for our neighbor at a video gaming company.

He was a little odd, too.

Oh, like you just rolled out of bed, big guy. Not exactly.

Dude, it's all over your face.

You and the roommates going at it 24 -7.

Rob, seriously, it's not like that. I didn't take it from a married guy.

Don't ever get hitched. Keep on doing the dream team.

Boom.

Soldier, 0 -900 in 58 seconds. You are late. Sir, I had to eat, son.

So, how's the booby trap sound effects going? Look, we need big boobies, and I

mean big.

Yeah, be done today. Atta boy.

Say, Ben, how does it all work with you and those girls?

Work? Yeah, you know, like, I mean, any jealousy?

Are there any rules?

Uh, rules?

Yeah.

I get it.

Mom's the word, right?

Mom's the word.

Sir, I need to get back to this.

Oh, you keep up the good work, right?

And you say hello to those gals from me.

While I was dealing with my life, I had forgotten something very important.

Oh, how was your date with Vanessa?

She play -o -drones.

She wanted to do something romantic.

I know, like dinner. Yuck.

So I went out with Nick, the label rep, instead.

Oh, and?

He's turning 31.

Who knew?

I had to end it.

Ellie would kill you if she saw you doing that.

So Julie's baby's party is at 2.

You're gonna come, right?

Uh, yeah.

Sure.

Today's the day, isn't it?

One year later, one shitty drunk driver.

Well, I'll stay home.

We'll hang.

No, no, no, I'm okay.

Really.

Come to Julie's, maybe?

It's probably better if you're around people.

Hey, Mel, if you become a big -time music producer, you wouldn't leave us,

you? Benji, no matter what happens, we'll always be together, you, me, and

Allie.

We're family now.

Today was the day Ben's parents died.

Head -on car crash.

So awful.

I should have remembered. I should have been there for him.

We're bandmates.

You just don't forget that kind of stuff.

Hello? Hi everyone, I'm Cassie. I'll be taking over for Milo today.

This is an advanced class, so I hope you're all ready to work.

Alright, let's get started.

Arms above your head.

Back foot at a 45 degree angle. Hands together.

And look to the sky.

Virabhadrasana II.

Warrior II pose.

Open up.

Adjust your foot back.

Now squeeze your glutes.

And lift your abdomen.

Arms up above your head. That's it. Now breathe.

Now release into gravity with happy baby.

This opens chakras, releases tension, and heightens sexual awareness.

A little wider.

That's it. Perfect.

You have amazing potential.

You're kidding.

No, not at all.

You just need to clear your mind a little bit.

Nice to meet you.

Kathy. I'm Kathy.

I'm Melanie. Hi.

All right, well, I hope to see you in class again. Okay.

I mean, yeah, yeah, sure, totally.

Well, nice to meet you, Melanie.

Hello. I met the most amazing girl today.

Oh. So you're ready to settle down now? Get a little condo in West Hollywood?

What happens in no strings?

Okay, really.

Hi, cuties. Okay,

so you two would make a really cute couple when you get married.

Very funny.

You know you're my favorite cousin, right?

You know I'm serious, right?

I am getting a beard. You?

I'll have a soda water, please.

Barca soda, double vodka.

Honey.

Ah, thank you.

It's getting so big.

Yes.

Okay, she's a total catch.

You've got to admit it.

Yeah, thanks for the tip. You know he's my roommate, right?

Uh, did you see his butt from those blue eyes?

Come on, you ever think about having kids?

Maybe. I don't know. Why are you asking me all this weird shit? Because you've

got to settle down.

Look, guy or girl...

You just gotta take the plunge.

Girls are even crazier than guys in L .A. Oh, really?

So who are you seeing?

Nobody. You know, you could try dating somebody with a day job instead of an

and a van. Just saying. I love what I do.

Besides, since you and Paul got married, you guys have been, like, building an

empire. Uh, you don't think we did this all on our own? God, no. Thank you, Ben.

No, we got help from the Trust Fund.

Trust Fund? What Trust Fund?

Yours, mine, and your sister's.

The Myrna Rothman Trust Fund.

Every female in the family inherits the piece, and when she gets married, she

gets to do whatever she wants with it. She gets to invest or travel, party,

donate.

I thought it was just a myth.

So did I, until the check showed up. Who's Myrna?

She's our great -grandmother.

She wanted all the Rothman girls to have a little nest egg.

And the trust paid for all of the... Yeah, put a down payment on the house,

launched our catering business, and it got us a part -time nanny.

So Myrna's husband made bazillions in a prophylactic business.

Just out of curiosity, how much do girls get for, uh, high enough?

Well, after taxes, about $450 ,000, give or take.

$450 ,000?

Miss Myrna sounds great.

I've always liked independent women.

Oh, um, and Mel, for the foreseeable future, you know the trust only works if

you get married to a guy. So just find a man that you like.

And get married.

Otherwise you're going to end up working for someone for the rest of your life.

Just doesn't seem right.

What do you mean right? You deserve it.

Get married.

Get the money.

While they were at Julie's, I left my family early.

I had some news of my own.

Hey, you're back early.

Yeah, I kind of had to leave.

I did a terrible thing.

No, Oscar, it's still not for me. He's sweet, old -fashioned, conservative.

He's not some flashy L .A. guy.

Oscar is husband material. He loves his family, owns a great business.

Plus, he and your dad watch football, like, all the time. What?

And he's hot.

He gives me night sweats every time I look at him.

Oh, I better go check on my husband.

Yeah, you do that.

Ali! Hi, Oscar.

How are you?

Good, hi.

How are you?

Fine.

You look beautiful.

Come on. I want to hear everything about LA.

Let me get you a drink.

I did my part. Now it's up to Oscar.

It's good to have you home.

Just like old times.

Yeah.

It feels good being here.

Oscar was one of those great guys.

So handsome, sweet, and totally not right for me.

Allie, I know we dated in high school and it only seemed like

a million years ago.

But I've always loved it here.

There's just been one person missing.

I love you.

I've always loved you.

Allie, will you marry me?

I promise I'll make you happy.

Thank you.

My career was important, and I didn't just want babies and family barbecues.

Is that a yes?

He's so dependable. All those are dependable. I want a man that I'm crazy

Love grows, hija.

Oscar is a good man.

And he will make someone else very happy.

Just give me one good reason why you won't marry him.

Because... And then I told my mom the biggest lie of my almost adult life.

Because, mom, I'm engaged.

My high school boyfriend proposed, and my whole family was pressuring me.

I just thought my whole life unfolding.

You know, babies, diapers.

So, so many diapers.

So you said you were... Getting married?

Yes, I lied. I totally lied, lied, lied, lied.

And they were so happy.

Yeah, but wait, married to who?

No freaking way.

Oh, my goodness. His name just popped into my head. I swear.

I need to call my family.

I'm going to need a drink first.

We've got to do something.

We? No, no, no. There's no we here. You're the fiance.

Come on. Look, she's a mess, Mel.

Oh, God.

Every second marrying Ben almost sounded good.

It's a dream, Ben.

Wait.

I'm kidding.

I'm not.

Let's get married.

Huh? What? Who?

You, me, Mel.

The three of us. We just found out that if I get married, I inherit a bunch of

money from a family trust fund.

$450 ,000 just for getting hitched. To a guy that... Oh my God. Mel, is this

true? Girls, this is the answer.

Two brides, one groom.

You've been spending way too much time talking to Chris about his three -way

lesbian fantasies. I told you, we're just not into it.

No.

Uh, but wait a second.

I kind of want to hear this little scheme.

You have one minute, Ben. Okay, uh, so first Mel tells her family that after

years of friendship, she and I fell in love and eloped. Mel gets the trust

money, produces a kick -ass demo, and we are on our way. I'm talking Grammys,

multi -platinum albums.

Okay, keep talking, especially about that Grammy part.

Okay, so then Allie and I, we have a... Big wedding. I'm talking grandma, the

cousin. I bet your mom already put a wedding announcement in the paper.

Listen,

ladies, the trust money will let us stay together and work on our music.

Me and my bandmates, who just happen to be my two beautiful brides. Oh, my God.

This show is your lesbian fantasy. No, no, no. It is a career move for all of

us. So you're saying you would... Actually go through a real wedding. It's

weekend, then back to normal.

Normal. Right.

I don't know. My parents would figure it out. We'll be married before they can

say Mazel Tov.

Mel, this is your chance.

Produce a hit record.

Make it in the big time.

Maybe work with Pharrell.

Ben, wait. What do you get out of all this?

If the record's a hit, I get to quit my day job.

And we get to stay together.

Us. This little family of ours.

I want that.

You know, we already raise a dog and share a Netflix account.

Come on, our odds are better than most couples.

We're not a couple, we're a tree. This semantics.

Are we going to do this?

You're crazy, but I'm in.

Allie.

Forgive me, God.

I'm in.

So that was it. The double wedding plan was in motion.

Except we forgot about one new person in the mix.

Cassie.

Hey.

Well, I guess I didn't scare you off.

No, I've been trying to make it every day. Have you? Wait, did you go to my 8

'clock? I'm sorry, I switched it to 10.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you weren't there.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, I got it.

You live on Ocean, I live on Dune.

Well, hey, neighbor.

We should hang out sometime.

Sure. Yeah, I'd like that.

Do you like biking?

Love hiking. Love, love, love it.

Well, I meant biking, but actually, why don't you come over my place tonight for

a barbecue?

Yeah, Milo's having some people over.

Oh, Milo. Yeah, he's moving to Costa Rica for a year to teach.

So some friends are throwing him a little going away.

Oh, he's moving.

Bummer.

Yeah, I'd love to come.

All right, cool.

Well, I probably should mention my friends are hardcore vegetarians. I love

hardcore vegetarians. All right, cool. Well, I'll see you later then.

Yeah.

Mel with the mitten.

Mel, dating your yogi. Oh, Shanti.

So listen, Mel.

Try not to talk too much about work, okay?

Think two -way conversation, all right?

Just make her laugh.

That's what women want.

What? Seriously?

As if you know what women want. No, Mel, women like to be listened to.

Duh, everybody likes to be listened to. No, show her you have some opinions.

What have you... ever listened to a woman what what do you mean okay why

you guys stop bringing your issues into my date okay i'm just going to a

vegetarian possibly semi -lesbian barbecue okay no big deal he doesn't

first thing about women no off with the scarf hmm the hair let's

loosen this up there hot

how the hell do you do that it's in the jean sister we're not talking old navy

Shh. Everybody.

She's here.

Hi.

Come on in.

Cassie, this is Ben and Allie, my roommate.

Hi. Hello. Nice to meet you. Hi, I'm Ben. Oh, hi.

Great earrings. Hey, where are you from?

Los Angeles. Oh, can I get you a beer? How long have you lived in Malibu? Are

you wearing Narciso Rodriguez?

I'm actually from San Francisco. A beer? No, thanks. I teach Ashtanga yoga, and

yes, I am wearing Narciso.

Okay, ready?

Bye.

Ladies,

hi. Listen, we're having a little get -together tonight at our place, and we

were hoping you and your friend would be friendly and join us. Maybe some other

time. Thank you, though.

If you change your mind, we're here, husband.

Right here.

Friendly neighbors.

Yeah.

You had no idea.

What a cute couple.

Maybe Kathy can be our bridesmaid.

So, we've got drinks inside, food's over there. Yeah. And everything's totally

vegan. Thank goodness.

How are you?

I'm good.

Great, actually.

You look good. You look happy.

I am.

What can I get you?

I'm going to do two white wine smoothies. Come on, it's a Saturday.

Birthday? Yes, kind of.

Nervous. You can do that.

Listen, I make a mean skinny margarita.

Okay. How about a tequila float? I highly recommend.

All right, I feel like I'm on vacation.

Here's to another first date. Good luck.

Okay. You're beautiful.

Okay, love. See you in a bit. Bye.

While Mel was busy falling in love, she was forgetting we had two weddings to

plan. But who can blame her? Who wouldn't love Cassie? She's pretty damn

I'm really glad we did this.

Yeah, me too.

I had a really good time.

I'd love to do it again. I mean, hang out if you... I would love that.

You're coming home with me. Okay.

Meanwhile, Ben and I were still in our post -college platonic romance.

Ellie, listen to this. It's new.

And you hide and believe that through you.

Try that with me.

Yeah. One more time.

That's nice. Cool. I like that a lot, yeah.

Hi. Nice 18 -hour barbecue.

Yes, we had a great time.

And no, you may not ask any questions.

Hey, you feel the deal?

That is so not any of your business.

Yeah, we totally hooked up.

You did?

Yeah, and it was amazing.

Clearly you followed my advice. Your advice?

You know what? I'll tell you something. You are so full of shit. You know

nothing about this kind of stuff. I'm full of it? Yes, absolutely. Really? Uh

-huh. Now it was time to make our bond legit.

Off to find our wedding ring.

Let's find what we all like.

Ben, come here. You're in on this, too.

Sure.

Oh, that's nice. Allie, look.

Oh, my God, that's gorgeous.

How about we just get something fake?

Who's going to know the difference?

My family's already upset about the rushed wedding. You know, the least we

do is get a decent ring. God, give me some slack.

It's tough being the only groom.

you not have a romantic bone in your body?

Is that any way to talk to your fiancé?

Excuse me, um, can we see these two?

Absolutely lovely choice.

So, what is your return policy on wedding rings?

Well, we sincerely hope all of our matches are made in heaven.

But you have six weeks for a change of heart. Full refund, sweetie.

Oh my God, now that fits.

Try it on.

Well, you two make a beautiful couple.

Wait, no, no, no. We're just roommates.

Oh, you don't have to hide your love here, sweetie.

No, diamonds are forever. We believe in tying the knot.

Making a commitment is a wonderful thing, as long as you do it with

I think tattoos would be a lot cheaper.

See? It's so expensive, you know?

Wow, that is nice.

Okay, how about we split this on three credit cards? You guys okay with that?

Yeah, sure.

All right, well, I'll just go wrap these up for the three of you.

Be right back.

We have the seating charts, the caterer, music, flowers, bartender,

menus.

Oh, thank God we're skipping a bachelorette.

Sweetie, if you want a bachelorette, we can throw you a bachelorette.

No.

Here you go.

I'm sure.

Oh, thanks.

May I just say again, you're a beautiful couple.

And if that's your sperm donor, handsome devil.

Great news about the demo, man. You're an artiste. It's a gift from Jop. It's

going to be great to get back in the studio. Now that you and Allie are

married, is Allie giving it to you? Bro, we're like brother and sister.

Seriously, bro, nothing's going on. Shit.

Haven't you ever had a platonic relationship with a woman? With a woman?

Would a babe like Allie? Dude, no way. It just couldn't work. It'd be a waste.

She's definitely a cool girl. I mean, she's beautiful. She's smart.

And that body is sick.

I've even created my own mantra for her, dude.

Allie, Allie, Allie.

You wouldn't care if I asked her out, right?

Wait. You want to ask Allie out?

Yeah, maybe.

Like on a date?

Like food, beverage, music, maybe even some weed. Like a nice date.

What's the problem?

What's the problem? What are you thinking?

I'm thinking she's hot, and I'm not interested in being her platonic buddy.

That's your job, dude.

Look, forget it, okay?

You guys never work.

Allie's a lesbian, by the way. She just told me. You're freaking kidding me.

Yeah.

Tragic. But it's her choice.

We gotta respect that.

So the next morning, I got a package.

My mother's wedding dress. She sent it.

It was all getting very real.

Dress rehearsal time.

Mel and Ben were waiting to see me in it.

Marrying Ben, my ex -boyfriend who cheated on me?

I was nervous as hell.

Who wouldn't be?

Anyway, we had to go through with the plan.

So, do I look like a real bride?

You look incredibly beautiful.

Wow.

Yeah, you do.

Hey, Mel!

Look! Oh, my God. Julie did this.

What are you guys looking at?

Kathy, you're super early.

Wait, what does that banner say?

Uh, my cousin.

She has a, like, weird sense of humor. I'll be right there.

Okay.

Nice dress.

Uh, yeah, thanks. It's for a musical theater wedding thing.

Mel should tell Kathy.

What? Just casually mention to the person that you're newly dating that

actually getting married this weekend to your roommate. No, it sounds like an

awesome date.

Hey, dance with me.

What? I need to practice. Come on.

Hey, what's up?

Chad, I was... We're still on for Thursday, right?

Yep. Cool.

Later. Mm -hmm.

Friends?

Yeah, he's a... He's a bass player. We work together. He's kind of a dork,

actually.

Mm -hmm.

What a dog.

I know, right? Total dog.

I meant Ben.

I'm so sorry. You know, sometimes I just want to strangle him, you know?

Oh, God, it's a long time. Hey, Philippa. You smell good.

You're coming to my show, right?

No excuses. It's my birthday. I'm spinning.

Yeah, sure.

Fantastic.

Maybe we'll do a spa day first?

I'll call you tomorrow.

Let me guess.

Another dorky music friend.

Yeah, she... Anybody want a beer?

Shop for tequila?

Several shots, maybe?

Actually, I'm going to go home.

It's been a long night.

That was a nightmare.

Girl, that shift is going to fail. Go talk to her.

I'll look at that and I'll sweet talk her.

You know, Kathy is just the kind of girl I'd bring home to mom.

And you, Port.

You, then Kathy.

Yeah, that's if you were taking girlfriend to mom.

Apart from some thigh drama at the club, our two weddings were moving along,

right on schedule.

Yesterday was amazing.

Way, way better than most night parties.

Wedding rock.

It was awesome.

So, honeymoon South Beach, yeah?

Hell yeah.

Guys, we're not having a honeymoon.

But, now darling, it's time.

What, now?

She's right. Do it.

Call Mommy Dearest, tell her you got married, and hit the hard lights. You're

going to do fine.

Hello? Mommy, hi.

It's Melanie.

Sweetheart, how are you? I was just going to call you. I have some news.

Honey, is it your sphincter again?

No, Mom, I got married.

And I'm Hillary Clinton.

No, it's true. We had a simple ceremony last night.

Yeah, Mom, I'm...

Married. Dan!

Pick up the phone!

Right now!

Dan!

I'm married!

Oh, goddammit, Dan!

What's this about married? Yes, Ben and I were so in love we couldn't wait. So

our friend Steven, he's a minister.

You're here today to bring together Mel, Ben, and holy matrimony.

Mel, do you take this fantastically dressed sex pot of a man?

Oh, I do.

You may kiss the bride.

Allie was my maid of honor, and she also played the bongos, which was really

weird because nobody knew that she could play the bongos.

Oh, yeah, it was so spiritual.

Magical, almost. I mean, I feel so blessed to have, you know, friends like

these. Ben feels the same way.

My husband.

Not yet.

My husband.

Not yet.

Mel, seriously, cut the crap.

All right? You got married.

Yes, Daddy.

Mazel tov. I mean, to who? Nick?

No. That trauma?

Vince? No, no, not Vanessa. I mean, Vince.

Daddy, I married Ben, my roommate. We're in love.

So I said, um, doc.

What the heck?

That's something that you say when you buy a sandwich, not get married.

I mean, besides, isn't he a gay?

No, Daddy, he's not a gay, okay? Stop it.

I always knew there was something going on between the two of you. Benjamin.

I remember him. Yeah, yeah. Sort of.

Anyway,

he's got a really good Jewish name.

Actually, he's Irish Catholic.

Irish Catholic?

Good in him.

What's he do?

Sound designer, computer stuff.

Wonderful. He's employed.

Thank God he's not a musician.

He's a great guy.

Handsome, smart.

When are you bringing him home, sweetheart?

Never. I mean, next year, maybe.

Give everyone my love, okay? Bye, Mom. Love you, love you, love you. Bye.

Oh, God, I have so much to do. Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

They sounded so happy.

It's all because of a wedding, wow.

How many friends share a ring?

And a girl.

That's it.

I'll sing the low part.

You like it?

Yeah.

I wrote it for you.

Yeah, I thought it'd be great for your voice.

My mom always said I was an idiot, you know, for hurting you.

My mom was a wonderful person.

And so was your dad.

I can't imagine what it was like to lose them both.

You guys, I need your help.

We have thank yous to write.

I want it.

Aw.

You two playing together reminds me of our first gig freshman year.

We were terrible.

He's not a bad person, you know.

You're just kind of young.

Aguber.

Every baby girl.

Te ves hermosa, hija.

Hermosa. Mamá, por favor, please. You said you wouldn't get emotional.

It's just that I am so happy.

My youngest is getting married.

Please, please.

Oh, I'm going to miss you, you know.

Friend of the bride?

Ever since fourth grade.

For me, it was love at first sight.

I know what you mean.

First of all, to you, Alexander Martin, take this man, Benjamin O'Shea, and be

your lawfully wedded husband.

Do you feel different?

I don't know.

How do you feel?

Me?

Starving.

Yeah, let's hit the after party.

It's our wedding reception, not an after party.

Right. Sorry.

We'll never get too far until we have a beginning.

So many letters and so many words.

So many hearts are bruised by the words that we have taught our children to live

by.

And we call people by the color of their skin. Excuse me, gather around, please.

Ben and Allie.

We would like to give you our blessings and celebrate this day with family and

friends. We are so happy for both of you.

And we welcome you, Ben, to our family.

Even if yours isn't here anymore, don't you worry about it.

We're your family now.

It made my mom and dad really happy.

Wow, that guy really has a way with women.

Oh, if you only knew.

What

is

all this?

It's just some stuff that we ordered for the house.

Three blenders.

Yeah, we couldn't decide if we wanted titanium heads or Tempe.

That's the golf clubs now.

Weed whacker?

Wait, do you guys even garden?

Cassie, we need to talk.

We'll give you some space.

I don't quite know how to say this, but a couple of days ago, I got married to

Ben. Just as friends, totally as friends.

What? Wait, what are you talking about? And Allie...

Also got married, coincidentally, to Ben.

Just last Saturday in San Diego, I was her maid of honor, but Ben and I just

this small, intimate commitment ceremony. It wasn't a big deal.

What do you mean, no big deal?

Well, I mean, I can explain because it's about this trust fund.

It's not real. It's just for the demo.

Wait, what's going on here? I thought we were on the same page.

I am. We are on the same page. I just have to keep this wedding thing going

a little while longer for my family. Okay, this is insane.

You know how I feel.

And you went and staged a fake marriage for money.

And I'm supposed to be okay with that.

Listen. No, you listen.

I've had to put up with your multiple dating, your bisexuality, and your high

sugar diet, which makes you, frankly, damn moody.

But I'm not going to put up with a husband or a wife, for that matter, or

whatever it is you guys are doing.

Are you polygamous?

Is that what you are?

Why didn't you just tell me you were polygamous? I mean, you can do whatever

want in Utah, but why didn't you just tell me? No, we are not polygamous.

Why does everybody think that?

Well, maybe because there's three of you and you're all married.

I don't know. I'd call that crowded.

I don't know where I fit into all this.

So I'm leaving.

Enjoy your multiple blenders and your weed whackers and whatever else you

polygamists do.

Wait, wait, wait, Cassie. Wait up.

you, baby. Oh, my. Those shorts are very short.

Sweetheart.

Sweetheart. Mom.

Sonny, sweetheart. We just had to call.

I made a brisket.

Would you let me bring it on the plane?

Don't hit the wedding ring.

Mine's still on.

It's stuck.

Go get some pictures. The wedding pictures.

So how do you know my daughter?

Oh, she's my personal trainer. I'm doing a triathlon.

Wait, it doesn't fit me. It fits size for you.

I'm sorry.

Oh. Hey, Kevin, could you go hide the birthday? What was that, dear? Oh, what

day for Mel and Ben.

Oh. Yeah.

Bring it in, buddy. We got some drinking to do.

Hey, Mel -Mel. Hey,

Mel, congrats. Julie, the baby's leaking. Honey.

Ben!

So you lovebirds decided to elope, huh?

Yeah, I'm kind of fast, yeah.

Ben, Ben, where is your family, dear?

They passed away.

Oh, I am so sorry, Ben.

Well, we are your family now, sweetheart.

Thanks. That feels good.

Oh, so where are those wedding videos?

They're in my... our bedroom.

All right, now I'm confused.

Which room is Ben and Melody?

It's that one.

Oh, sweetheart, I'll put the presents in there. Wait a second. Can you go to my

room and put some of Ben's stuff in there and hide all the pictures of me

Kathy? Got it.

Want to help?

Out of nowhere, instantly Rothman's in every nook and cranny.

I swear I think they're multiplying.

Well, they were jipped out of a warning.

You think they'll stay all night?

Try all weekend.

This was not in my prenup.

Welcome to my crazy family.

Kristen, get in here before I bite you. Okay, buddy? Come on.

So, tell me, what's all this business about eloping?

Nothing urgent, was there?

No, sir.

We were just ready to tie the truck.

I mean, not.

So pretty.

Tiny. Ben seems to be getting along with Daddy.

And he would, like, it was kind of like a bottle, and he would, like, put the

condom over the... Coffee, anyone?

Oh.

I'll take a Sanka.

So, sweetie, were you surprised?

Or were you in on their little secret?

Mel didn't say the word.

Oh. That's what you need, a safe condom.

I did not think that they would show up.

I'm so sorry. I could have told you before.

You're in pretty deep.

Sandy Rossman, mother of the broad.

And you are a...

I was in the city on business and thought I'd drop in.

Oscar, come and meet my beautiful daughter, Melanie, and her husband. It's

a long time since I've seen you, Oscar. Like, how long? Like, forever, right?

Just a couple days?

You know, right now is really not a good time, so you should just... Looks like

a party to me.

Hey, Oscar, buddy, it's great to see you. Hey, a few of my family just

by unexpectedly.

Hey, Mom, the dessert forks are in that top drawer.

Oh, how sweet.

Already calling you, Mom.

I thought you didn't have any family. Oh, hi.

Sheila Rothman.

Oh, hi.

Alejandro must have a bigger family than I thought. Are you Mexican, too?

Uh -uh. Of course not, sweetheart.

I'm Jewish.

Oh, he's so cute. Yeah, you know, we should really go hang out by the pool.

Julio, you like to salsa.

I took ballroom dancing last year. Come on.

Let's show them how it's done. Of course.

And of course the Mortons came over, uninvited as usual, carrying our mail.

Dan Rockman, father of the bride.

Bride? In this place, you've got to be kidding me.

Oh, I put eight ounces of Viagra in the guacamole.

and keep everybody away from this guacamole. There's enough Viagra in here

kill my grandpa.

Finn,

wait!

Check right here.

Morton's had it. Just stop eating that. Just stop.

Should we open it? No, no, no. Let's wait for Allie.

I love that Cassie.

You think maybe she's thinking about moving in?

Not that I know of.

So I'm a little confused.

Who'd you say got married?

Julie and her husband, Pablo, the whole family came in for a little reunion,

celebration, baby shower.

How nice.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness. Get up there. No, no, no. Sweet.

Matt, stop.

Oh, my goodness.

What an affectionate dog you have there.

No, no, no. Oh, dear.

I'm so sorry. Let me help you up. No, that's okay, dear.

Are you mad?

I don't like lying.

I just want to make it right with you.

I gotta go.

Okay.

You know, I'm having...

A pretty good time.

And much more relaxed than my first wedding.

Sandy, where do I put the suitcases?

How are you holding up?

Um, I'd rate this as probably the worst day of my life.

Sweetheart, I forgot to tell you.

We couldn't get a reservation till tomorrow, so we're all staying here

And it just got worse.

You don't mind, do you, dear?

No, no, no, of course not. The more family, the better.

We won't be any bother.

you live now, sweetheart?

Uh, I, uh, I actually just, uh, moved out.

Oh. Very recently, in fact. Uh, will you excuse me for a second?

Of course. Then I had to move out to cover for Mel's storyline.

So, uh, so my room is now the guest room? I'm sorry, they never stayed.

you just please stay at Cassie's one night, please?

I'll try to catch her.

I'm not used to seeing you like this.

Jesus, I'm so awake.

Maybe we should wait till Allie gets here.

No, I don't think I can sleep. I'm so jumpy. Open it, open it. Allie, I'll be

fine.

Damn,

I left my audition pages in Mel's room.

You mean Mel's and Ben's room.

Right. Mind giving me a minute?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, baby.

Woo.

Yes.

This money is going to change our lives.

Mel, I would marry you again any day.

How much guacamole did you have?

What?

Never mind.

Ow!

What was that?

As I walked into the room, I couldn't believe what I saw.

Hijo de su madre, my Mexican heritage, let them have it.

If I had cooked guacamole or not, they were both just jerks. Ten years of

friendship.

I wanted an omen.

Is everything okay?

Oh, honey.

When I left that night, our bond was broken.

I felt the worst I'd ever felt in my entire life.

Plus, it was the second time Ben had done this to me.

She never wants to see me again. I've never had anybody say that to me before.

I have.

Much worse, in fact.

Damn Viagra guacamole.

After what happened in college, Allie's never going to forgive me.

And as for my best friend Mel, I can't even talk about how much that hurts.

Sorry to disturb, but in the midst of the family orgy last night, I forgot my

audition pages.

Allie, we need to talk.

We were drunk and excited about the money. Of course you were excited.

Isn't that just the way it has to be between best friends who have sex?

Well, this stupid roommate moves out to cover for you.

How could you?

Allie, please, I'm sorry.

No, you know what? You are so full of shit.

Both of you.

Look, first of all, I didn't tell Cassie a thing, all right? She figured things

out on her own.

And second, I'm moving out.

I'm staying at Steven's until I can find a place of my own. Yoo -hoo!

We are?

We have bagels, lox, and coffee.

All we need is you.

Bon appetit.

You were roommates first. I'll move out.

Maybe then Allie will come back.

We really messed up, Mel.

That was it. We were broken up, trust fund or not. And all of us making music

together was definitely over.

I can feel them working too.

Photographs and books and leather in a chest beneath my bed.

Memories keep me together. I remember when they said, look at the planets, how

they revolve.

Look at the shooting star horizon.

Look at your life. You can do it all.

If you put your heart and mind in I hope you remember when I'm gone That

I loved you hell back nothing No matter what, you can rise above You are

father, father

I was staying with Steven, starting to forget about dreams for our band and

hopes for our music.

You can stay with me as long as you want to.

But maybe talk to Mel before you find Elise?

Okay. Give me a second.

So I finally called Mel back.

She said she had something to tell me. In person.

Hey, Mel.

I got your message.

I'm so, so sorry. No, no, no. I overreacted.

No, you had absolutely every right.

And then I got an even bigger surprise.

There he was.

Guess Mel surprises both.

Mr. Wonderful.

So I asked you guys to come here because I really wanted to tell you something

in person.

With the trust money, I finished the demo.

And the label loved it.

They wanted to do a full album with us, and they offered us a huge advance.

Really? That's amazing.

So with the trust money, I wanted to give it back.

Since we don't need it anymore, are you guys okay with that? Yeah, of course.

Totally. Allie, they loved your voice and Ben, your song.

The songs are from all of us. The other thing I wanted to tell you was, since

we're going to have all of this money left over from the advance, I put in a

really lowball offer to my uncle to buy this house.

And with the economy the way it is, he accepted.

When I lost you guys, I actually realized how much you mean to me.

And then Mel asked us to finish the record.

You can't do it alone, you know? For real this time.

Is that a yes?

Yes, yes.

Come here. Are you guys going to move back in? Because that would make me

really, really happy. Of course.

But I mean, I can only speak for myself, so.

Yeah, yeah, no, we'll make it work this time.

So that was it. I forgave them.

There was a lot more at stake than a drunken hookup. It was time to get

put this behind us, and make a hit record. The label was bringing in a big

producer from London.

Everyone was nervous.

Especially me.

Hey, Bob.

It's Ben.

Sorry, Ben.

The roadies are unpacking a bit of gear. You won't mind giving them a hand,

would you?

No problem. You're the producer.

Yes, I am.

Listen up, everybody. We have got lots of work to do, so let's get cracking.

Hello, Treacle.

How are you doing? He's such a prick.

Well, the label thinks he's a god. He produced seven multi -platinum records.

Not me.

We all got down to making some serious music.

Then got a promotion and more deadlines than ever.

So he was kind of missing out on being in the studio with us and hearing the

songs that he wrote come to life.

That was beautiful.

May I?

Kathy and I were in the same boat.

We were both betrayed.

She took off on a yoga retreat, and I was writing music nonstop.

Mostly about love and broken hearts.

No one knew they were really all about Ben.

What do you guys think?

It was awesome.

Shit, it's Kathy in Costa Rica.

How's Costa Rica?

It's good. It's good.

Yeah, having a great time out here.

I just wanted to call and say hi and tell you that I've been thinking

about you and really thinking about us. I'm so, so sorry.

I know after everything that happened, I was really disappointed

and extremely hurt.

I haven't felt the way I feel about you in a really long time.

And it's a beautiful thing.

And I really don't want to give up on us.

I really want to make this work.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

Talk soon.

Bye.

So, Kathy and I are talking again.

Good. I'm so scared of messing this up.

Well, just be honest.

And try to get her back. That's the plan.

You guys are so cute.

Sorry.

Hey, which one of you guys called Kathy?

Well, whoever it was, thank you.

That evening, it was our last day of recording.

Things in the studio weren't going very well.

You okay?

Why did the label people have to come today?

All right, here we go, everyone.

Last track.

You ready, Ali?

Yeah. This is it. This is the big one.

I can feel it. I can feel the magic.

Hit me with it.

Blazing kisses burning like December.

It's all right, no worries.

Just one more time, yeah?

You got it.

Blazing kisses burning like December.

Believe me, gentlemen, she's not normally like this.

Ali, come on, get into gear, yeah?

These people want to pay for your next record.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Can I make a suggestion?

I'm going in.

Hey, just lay down and focus on Karen, just in case.

Mm -hmm.

I think it's this I and I just done bad

I was dying here, thank you. No, no, no, you did all the hard work.

She is brilliant.

Brilliant, I tell you. I cannot wait to record a solo album with her.

You'll be involved in some way, of course.

Hey, Bob, you know when you lay down the track, can you put a little bit more

bass in there? Yeah, because the highs are starting to feel a little high.

Yeah, it's Ben, and I'm not the tech.

Ah, yeah, sorry, roger that.

Ben. I got one of my guys on it. Kenny?

Ben!

Gentlemen, look!

You were magnificent!

Thank you, it was nerve -wracking.

Well, get used to it.

Hey, listen, there's a party tonight down in Malibu.

And one of my A &R guys has been from London, so I thought you and I could go

down, say a few hellos.

Well, I'm...

I'm sorry, I don't think I can go.

Oh, yeah, listen, babe, it's business.

The head of the label's going to be there.

Okay.

I'll pick you up at eight.

All right, guys, let's get down to some serious drinking.

Gentlemen, let's get some shoppers down our neck.

Admit it. You're still mad about what happened in college.

As if I care. That was six years, two and a half months, and three days ago.

Tuesday.

I'll never live that down.

I hit you.

You were a jerk.

Yeah, boy. Here we go.

With you and Mal, there were circumstances, but in college, you were

jerk. Come on, Allie.

So what's going on with Nigel, then? What are you talking about?

Well, did you sleep with him?

It's none of your goddamn business who I sleep with.

Uh, yes it is.

We're married.

Only when it suits you.

We need to put the past behind us. Be reasonable.

I am a woman.

I don't have to be reasonable.

And that's why you love us.

Are you in love with Nigel?

She's such a prick.

Nigel actually cares about me. Oh, Nigel has known you for three weeks, and he

cares about one thing, and you know exactly what that is.

I have cared about you for years.

And you're the one who fell in love with that frat guy like two seconds after we

broke up. That was to make you jealous.

Is that what's going on with Nigel? Quiet.

Quiet, everybody. It's going to happen. It's going to happen now.

He is not good enough for you.

No one is, according to you.

Things are finally starting to look up for me, and I thought you'd be happy for

me.

I am happy for you. You deserve all of it.

Come on, Ben.

We both know you'll never know how to be serious.

I think I'm losing you. I've never been more serious in my life.

We may be a little different.

But we're a family, okay? Nobody can deny that.

And we love each other.

You hurt me. I know, I know. And I want to make it up to you for the rest of my

life.

Marry me.

No, I mean it. No, marry me for real this time.

I can't imagine one day in my life without you in the same room, in the

bed. You, me, Mel, Cassie, all of us.

Marry me.

Is that a yes?

Yes, yes, say yes.

You're crazy. Come here.

I love you.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Hey,

awesome, Ben. I think this calls for a celebration.

So just like that, we all became the big, happy, messy family I always

Kathy sent Mel a plane ticket.

They were really back together.

Maybe our dreams will come true.

At least we're having a great life.

While trying.

So, Ben and I reconfirmed our vows with our family and neighbors.

We all got down to making some serious music.

Cassie moved in.

Max finally has a playmate.

I know we're a little different.

But no matter what anyone else says, I wouldn't trade these guys for anything.

This is family.

This is my tribe.

You know you don't really have to go yet.

And I love the way you are, yeah.

Shout out, we the best like DJ Khaled. To the major K, no one else but we.

Special thing to love, always trying to flirt, yeah. Do you, girl? Move it, move

it, girl, how you do it, do it, yeah.

Girl, I know, I know, I gotta prove it, prove it, yeah.

On and on and on, the DJ keep playing a song that make me think of you and I.

On and on and on the DJ keep playing, I don't know why do I have to say goodbye

If there's always tomorrow If there's always

tomorrow If there's always tomorrow

If there's always tomorrow If

there's always tomorrow

If there's always tomorrow.

If there's always tomorrow.

If there's always tomorrow.

If there's always, if there's always tomorrow.

Girl, I love the way you smile, yeah.

You know you don't really have to go, yeah.

And I love the way you are, yeah.

Shout out, we the best like DJ Khaled Through the magic key, no one else but

Special thing of love, always tryna flirt, yeah See you girl, move it, move

Girl, how you do it, do it, yeah Girl, I know, I know, I gotta prove it, prove

it, yeah There's always tomorrow There's always

tomorrow There's always tomorrow

To the major K, no one else but we, special thing of love. Always trying to

flirt, yeah, see you girl. Move it, move it, girl, how you do it, do it, yeah.

Girl, I know, I know, I gotta prove it, prove it, yeah.

On and on and on, the DJ keep playing a song that makes me think of you and I.

On and on and on, the DJ keep playing a song, why do I have to say goodbye?

There's always tomorrow.

There's always tomorrow.

It's always the love