Original subtitles

The following program contains mature subject matter and coarse language.

discretion is advised.

Mom and daughter time. Mom and daughter time.

I'm a spider.

You're my baby spider.

Isn't this fun? My God, we're having a good time. Look at this. Look at your

room. Oh my Lord, it is looking good.

It's looking so good. I feel a little bit bad for your dad though because your

bedroom here is like, it's bigger and it's like cooler. It is newer. Not like

his four bedroom house. What?

It's not really new.

Just where you used to sleep. I used to sleep there, but now you do, because

it's a big, big... Mom gave you the big room. Also, I went into Dollar World,

and they didn't have your ritual spell candle anymore, but guess what they did

have? Rats! Beep, beep, beep, beep! Pooped on your math, because you don't

math, so it pooped on it. I'm not into being a witch anymore.

I've evolved now. Into a crone? Are you a crone now? I'm 14.

I'm more of a goth, I guess. That's awesome, because guess what? I know that

goths like rats because that little greasy guy from 2B, he put a harness on

rat, took it for a walk.

That's not a goth. What is it?

Lonely. Lonely? Oh, my gosh. We're inviting him for mac and cheese and

No, Mom.

What? What?

Please, I just need to study.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. And look at this. Mom's a good time. Mom's a good

time. And what am I? A rat! Mom's a rat!

No? Yeah?

I'm a rat.

Babe.

I thought you were with me tonight.

I forgot to tell you, um... Dad asked me if we could switch nights.

He did?

Okay, well, that's just... That's weird. That's weird, because normally he'd,

like, tell me if we're switching times, but that's cool. You have a good time at

your dad's. You might want to not go over very much anymore, because pretty

I'm getting a new two -bedroom apartment!

Ba -ba -ba! When will the guy die?

How much more goth can you get? I'm perfectly fine with this place.

Gotta go. Oh, wait. Oh, just one second.

Oh, God.

Hey, Dad.

Can I stay at your place tonight?

Okay.

Hey, Catherine.

Buddy.

Have fun.

What time is it? It's early. It's early. Oliver, did you know he had a field

trip? No.

Yes, I signed something.

But you didn't put it in the calendar.

I forgot, so sue me. Mom?

Yeah? Where's my phone card? Oh, it's down here.

What are you doing?

I don't know. I panicked.

Now help me.

Ow. Are you okay? I'm fine. My hips are tight. We fooled around once, and I'm

still paying physical consequences. Good thing we didn't join your three times

club. We'd both be dead.

I'm glad you think it's funny.

Yeah, it's not funny.

Oh, here it is.

Morning. Hello.

Hey. Morning.

Morning to you. Why are you guys being weird?

We're not. No.

Who? Us? No, we're fine. Not weird. No, it's good.

Morning. Coffee?

Yes, please. Oh, yeah, there you go. My pleasure. There's not even coffee in

that pot. I actually can't stand it anymore.

Please, stop fighting.

We're not fighting. No, we're not fighting. Don't gaslight me. Mom, you

go into fix -it mode, but you're just being controlling. And Dad, you withdraw

and pretend it's all fine, but we all know you've been sleeping on the couch.

I'm going to go to my room and do what I always do. Just slam the door.

Okay?

The thing is, he is a really good communicator. Too good, really.

Probably shouldn't have taught him to speak.

In some cultures, this is a cop phone.

I feel it all.

I feel it all. You are?

You are? Slow down. I'm not going anywhere. Go, go, go, go, go. I've got

to you.

I've got to talk to you. I've got to talk to you. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

How are you?

Amber, how are you?

Listen, I really need that two -bedroom, okay? So I was just wondering, like,

what do you think? It's just a thought. What could you get for these? Remember,

this is feathers.

Also, I detailed this myself.

It's got little black rows.

There's some fur. It's a lightning bolt down there. What makes you think I know

how to offload those? Because you just used the term offload, and you fell back

alley person to your trunk.

That's 100 % legit.

Okay. At least it's $3 ,200 a month. We're not going to decide for a couple

weeks who gets it.

Well, you have to fill out an application, and there's a $1 ,000

Listen, um... I'm sorry.

Could you help me?

Let me see what I can do.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. That's really nice of you. I appreciate it. Okay. Okay?

I gotta go to work. Wait.

Thank you. This is so beautiful.

It's a plastic lace and that's a... Oh, it smells like cat. I love cat.

What do you think?

Thank you so much. It's beautiful.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

I got to go to work.

This apartment is a lot more money for people like me and you. That can be a

more pressure.

So just...

Get going. Go to work. Don't get fired. I won't.

Oh, wait. You want to know how not to get fired?

You say yes to everything.

Want me to show you? I'll show you. Okay.

Okay, ask me a question. Do you have Tic Tac? Yes.

You actually have Tic Tac? No, I don't. I'm pretty good, huh? Ask me another. Go

ahead. Go again. Go again. Is your middle name Sheila?

Yes. Ask me one more. Give me one more. I feel like you're just going to say

yes. Absolutely.

Because you've got to go long to get along, baby.

You've got to go long to get along. Oh, my God. I love this. It's so nice. Oh!

Okay, bye. Thank you. I'm not going to be late.

Yes. Fuck.

Oh, Jesus.

Would you go out with me?

Thank you, you all.

I wanted to speak to you both privately.

What do you know about somatic practice?

I want to try for an episode.

You mean, like, tantric sex?

Oh, isn't that how Sting died? I think Sting is still alive. He is? Really? Oh,

my God, that's awesome. It's going to be a good episode if he's... Yes. I booked

a workshop for you.

Here at the office. I'm saying yes to everything, so I'm going to say yes to

workshop. No, no to a sex workshop in the office? Right, yes, no, correct,

but no, but yes. It is not about sex. No, it is about connection, which can

be about sex, but this is so much more than that. You know, a little bird named

Evan told me that you and Pete were having problems, so this could help.

I'm going to kill him.

I feel like a tantric workshop is a little gimmicky.

Copycat podcasts are emerging.

You're not the only ones talking about menopause anymore.

So we got to get active. Yeah. Stay ahead of the curve. Sound different.

different. I just need it to feel spontaneous.

Yes, I love it. I don't know. I booked it for this afternoon.

What? That doesn't give us any time to prepare. We can't do research. You don't

need to. No, this is for the video component for our socials. The fans will

it. So just be curious.

Ask questions.

Participate. No, no thinking.

Just feeling.

That is not advice. That is an order.

Excuse me. Could you tell me where I might find Jamila?

What are you doing here? Come see you.

Wait, you're her mother? I feel like I'm meeting the queen.

No, this is not the time.

Mama, come.

Why are you here?

Queen Jamila's mother.

You don't walk away from a satanic cult.

You run.

But all I had was an address, torn out of a phone book where I hoped my grandma

still lived.

I hitched the whole way with a guy who had a snake in his glove box and

tattooed on his face.

I slept in truck stops, a barn, under picnic tables, and when I finally got to

my grandma's house, she didn't even recognize me.

Holy shit.

This is going to make an incredible podcast.

I have to think about it.

I already lived through it once. I don't know if I can do it again.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I need a minute.

Yeah, of course. It's okay.

Take your time.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll talk to her. I'll talk to her.

Okay.

Goosebumps. Okay.

Wipe your tears.

I want that. I should call my grandma.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I get shook up sometimes.

Hey, so you said that you slept in truck stops and abandoned barns and under

picnic tables?

Mm -hmm. That's right.

But you also said that you went the whole way with that guy with a snake in

glove box.

Yeah.

Yeah, so which is it?

Your story, it's all true, right?

Yes.

Like,

basically, like, it's my story.

So I wrote a manuscript.

It came to me in a dream.

Actually, it's pretty good, but no one would read it.

Maybe it's because I'm a bad typer.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

A dream?

You made it all up? No, these... Things actually happen in my dream.

Oh, my God. What am I going to do?

I feel like Amanda's up to something. I really need you to not piss Amanda off.

I would like to keep my job, and I'm really sorry. I had no idea that you and

Pete were having problems. We're not having problems. I'm having problems

Pete. We are fine. Evan has a big mouth.

Evan has a big mouth. You have a moving side mouth. I have a little baby

whispering mouth. The upside to the workshop is that someone else gets to do

the talking, right? And it takes the pressure off us, which truly, truly, I

could use that right now.

Please say yes.

Fine. Fine?

I'll do it for you. Thank you.

But I'm not going to enjoy it. You might. Nope. You're going to look great

tights. Don't push it.

I want to welcome everyone here today.

My name is Inga. We are going to focus on our energy.

Our breathing.

Yes. We are going to shut out external distraction, quiet our mind.

We're not eating anything. We're not eating anything. We're not eating

Oh, yeah, I'm not putting any food into the cubby provider.

Come and sit down close to me. Oh, my God, that is rude.

Who phoned us at?

Inga, that's worse than eating cheese.

It's yours. Oh, sorry, that's mine. I have to get this.

You'll be fine.

You'll be fine.

Oh.

Hello?

Hey, you answered. I, uh... I, uh... Hey, I was wondering... Do you mind

speeding this up? It's just that I'm in the middle of a sex group with Julie. I

gotta get back in there with her. I was wondering if you... What's the lowest

that you would take on that lamp? I'm gonna go with $24.

That's too low.

I know.

400, 400 and a sweet million. What is wrong with you? I don't know, Yul. I

less than 24 hours and I almost shit myself in front of you after a mammogram

and had a breakdown in your car. It's a lot, buddy. I got a lot going on.

Okay, get going. Go to your class.

Gotta go.

Hey, Chris, can you go out with me? Chris, can you go out with me?

What did I miss? What did I miss? What did I miss?

We're doing intuitive mirroring. Oh, we are? Good, I love it. Good, good, good.

Yeah, that's it. Try to just feel your partner's intention.

That's right. I'm not mirroring that. Yeah, honey, mirror me.

There you are.

I am furious that you waited so long to bring this to me.

I just got off the phone with the board. They are thrilled.

Shane's podcast blew them away.

But this is not just a podcast. I think I just... This has HBO written all over

it. Elizabeth Moss will play Shana. Isn't she a little old to play 16?

Robin wanted me to be honest and tell you that we are

just so gosh darn excited to get going, right?

Yeah. Honestly, so am I. And relieved because I really didn't want to have to

fire you. I mean, a podcastless producer.

It's your lucky day.

It is my lucky day.

She's so powerful.

It's true. I don't want her to be mad.

And I love you. And I love you.

Release the energy, Julie.

Just vomit the energy into my mouth.

Yes. Again.

Release that blocked sexual energy.

I just want you to pay attention to how much this relationship just flourished.

Close your eyes. Open up your mouth. No. And hold your hair back.

Did you just eat my energy bar?

Yes. Sex between friends is never a bad thing.

Yes. I'm riding this bull all the way home.

We're birthing a new you.

No, this is stupid. No, it's not.

Yeah.

I'm sorry. No offense.

Actually, no.

Full offense.

This is dumb.

There is no scientific evidence to back any of this up. There is no such thing

as energy work.

You need to let go of everything you've been holding on to.

No. No. No.

Ride the sexual energy, Julie.

That's right. Don't fight the waves.

Come on, Julie. Learn to surf.

That's okay, thank you, because I learned to surf in Costa Rica.

Feel it, Julie.

Feel it.

Now release.

Yes, Julie!

Yes. Yes, Julie.

Jamila, where'd you put my dishes?

My Royal Dalton is gone.

How about we go and have a seat?

Okay, we just have a seat. Just have a seat.

Jamila Johnson, just stop managing me and let me be.

You lost your dishes?

I can look for them.

You're a gentleman.

Thank you. I should go.

Yeah, I got to feed my bachi.

My pair key.

I'll grab my purse.

That bird's been dead for 14 years.

Must be a lot.

Between managing y 'all and everything that she's going through, I just don't

know how much more I can bear.

I like that, I like that.

I am really sensing a very big blockage in your sacral chakra. Let me just kind

of... You know what we're going to do?

I have to keep it tight. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Keep it tight. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Thank you, everybody. That brings a conclusion to our somatic

journey for today.

And if you're interested in exploring any further, there is always a whole

of packages on the Glowy website underneath health and education.

And if you put in the code TINGLES, you get a 30 % off your first. Okay. Okay.

This has been a Glowy workshop all along. Amanda set us up.

Actually, I'm so relaxed right now, I can't even be furious.

But trust me, I am.

Thank you for her orgasm. It really helped me out. You're very welcome.

you. Thank you.

Hi. Hey, Chris.

Hey.

I got good news.

You got a good price for that makeup case.

Need it? That's good.

I got you a grand.

That's the exact amount I needed for the deposit, huh?

Ian, you thought I wasn't a good hustler. Joke's on you, you.

Joke's on you. Yeah, yes, yes. I mean, sorry. Thank you. I thank you. I get it.

I get it.

My mom was a single mom.

That place you got with you and your kid, I mean, it was great.

It has really good vibes.

You shouldn't want to go forward with this. I just really got to do this for

daughter.

Because... She's like a lot of bats, and I think she's really into rats now,

like plastic ones, and I just don't have a lot of space, so. And also, I have a

lot going on.

I have a lot going on, and I just think, I just think to myself, I'm like, oh my

gosh.

If I could just... If I could just get that two -bedroom apartment, I think

everything could be better. And it's my Moscow.

What? I'm sorry, Moscow.

Check off.

For real?

Yeah, okay, okay, wait, ready? If I could just...

Grab a lamp, get the two -bedroom apartment, finish up our life here and

Moscow.

Like, I feel such a longing to get to Moscow. Like, I mean, I just can't help

it.

The beautiful weather that we're having today.

I feel such joy.

I don't know why.

Oh, I know why it's all thing today.

But...

All things said, suddenly I just feel... Yeah, I feel so happy.

Hey.

Let's go.

Get us there.

We gotta bounce.

I gotta bounce.

Wine.

Is that because it was a good day or a bad day? I air humped Chris.

That could go either way. Amanda made us do this workshop that turned out to be

a corporate sponsorship thing for Glowy.

She took advantage of me.

And then, in front of a class full of women, I overshared loudly.

So, bad day? Bad day.

I'm sorry.

Okay. Well, I'm absolutely starving. What are we thinking? Uh, Thai?

Pizza? How about couples counseling?

I think we need it, Jules.

I mean, we're not connecting.

Even Oliver, he can see it.

We just need a little bit of help.

Okay. Okay.

Excuse me a minute.

Julie.

Hey, hold on.

Hold on.

Just a second.

Hey, buddy.

Hey. Hey.

Whoa. That is a lot of bath.

Oh, yeah.

It's for Saffron. I just gave her the bigger space because she's getting

and I thought I'd zhuzh it up for her. It's just temporary.

We'll get a new apartment.

Too bad. Moving on up.

Pete thinks we need to go to couples counseling.

Okay. I understand. Here. Here, baby. Come sit down.

Here you go.

Hey.

Um, is it okay if I hang out here for a while? Oh, um, I'm sorry, is Saffron

around? She normally stays with me. She'll be here tonight. That's how,

she's always, like, with me. It's hard to make her go to her dad. I'm like, you

better go visit him. And she loves her bat cave so much, so... Okay, then, I'll

go. I didn't really think of... Oh, no, no, I didn't mean that. I just meant, I

just... I'm gonna call her right now, and she said her dad's right now, and

she's, like, visiting him, so I'll just see that she'll stay later. If you just

give me a...

Hey.

Yeah, I was wondering, do you mind, baby, staying a little bit longer at

dad's? She just loves her back, Kate. I love you.

Stop it.

I love you.

She won't stop saying I love you.

I love you so much. Okay, bye.

Yep, the bats will be here when you get home.

She must have said I love you like 40 times.

Yeah.

Are we okay?

I'm great. I'm doing really good. I'm excellent. How are you?

Never better.

Have my finger.

Absolutely.

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