Original subtitles

(Out of tune music box melody plays)

(Slurping)

(She gasps) (Horror like music)

(Distorted): You don't know what real pain is...

till you become a mother.

My poor son, Deryl. Oh, God.

(Music concludes) (She gasps)

(Birds chirp)

(Soft determined drums) (Pants): Oh...

(Sighs)

SUZE (On video): Deryl? Deryl! DERYL: What?

Where the fuck are you? DERYL: What d'ya want (Gasps)

Deryl! (Deryl gags)

Oh, God.

(Phone pings)

Fuck.

(Drums intensify and ring out)

(Tense drums fade into a pleasant jazz tune)

(Carsie Blanton's "Don't Come Too Soon" plays)

(Birds chirp joyfully)

♪ Come and see me, baby But please don't come too soon...

Nuh-uh. Really?!

How interesting. There's chocolate...

Pomegranate.

Tobacco.

Honestly, Charles, I'd drink battery acid

if you add frothy milk.

Got ya. Thank you.

♪ Well, the way you rush me... CHARLES: So, we grind...

♪ You just can't wait for tonight... (Beans rattle)

(Grinder buzzes)

Then we fill...

Then we have to pump it a bit.

(Wood breaks loudly) We twist...

And turn on...

♪ But please don't come too soon... ♪ (Coffee drips)

(Milk frother hisses) Your mouth is watering, is it?

What? Oh! (Chuckles) (Song halts)

Mm!

It's delicious. Thank you. Ta-da.

So, uh... Luke, is it? Yep. That's our little son.

That one does his own thing. Oh, he's here for the wedding?

No, he lives here. Hmm...

He doesn't live here. He's staying here.

Yeah, he has been for three years.

You look exhausted.

Never mind. We're gonna freshen you up at the spa.

Oh, what spa?

Little vitamin D. Where's Sare? That girl sleeps like the dead.

Umm... (Phone buzzes)

SUZE: Oh. Sorry. Gotta get this. Uh...

Thanks for the rocket fuel. A new woman.

Uh, Barbara doesn't allow dark liquids on that mmm...

rug. Oh, boy. (Intriguing mid tempo music)

(Sare slurps loudly)

(Sighs): If we ever get divorced, it'll be for that sound.

(Music ends) What? I'm just drinking coffee.

(He slurps loudly)

I do not sound like that. You do.

God, you have deep "only child syndrome".

A sibling would have beat that out of you a long time ago.

Well, I'm not an only child. I have my sister.

You know what I mean.

You didn't grow up together.

It's not like you shaped who the other one is.

I mean, you couldn't be more different.

I actually think we have a lot in common.

And if we ever get divorced,

it will be because of the sound of your breathing.

(She slurps more quietly)

I had subglottic stenosis as a child.

And I don't appreciate your tone.

(He exhales heavily)

(She slurps very loudly)

Mmm! (Smacks her lips) Great. Very mature.

DOCTOR: There's no easy way to say this. (Emotional music)

The test results show that the egg quality isn't great.

Financially this has been a challenge.

I wouldn't recommend another expensive, exhausting round.

Okay. Um... Right? (Coffee cup clinks)

On the upside, your uterus is very healthy.

You show no signs of perimenopause.

I've seen women in your situation get pregnant

the old fashioned way.

There's nothing to say that can't happen for you.

And my parting words ― off the record, of course ―

is bars are full of sperm.

Yeah, I'm in Canada. Oh, well, even better.

Polite, apologetic sperm. (Chuckles): Yeah...

Yeah. Hey, try to relax. Have some fun. It can help, okay?

Thanks. I'll try. Good luck.

Okay. Bye, Sandra. (Music ends)

Fuck. (breathes deeply)

(Pleasant, mid tempo music)

(Knocking) (Music concludes)

Oh, hey. Renata will do that.

What is this bed made of? Swedish horse hair.

(Suze laughs ironically) No, seriously, it is.

Wow. Well, it's fucking comfortable.

Yeah, it's fucking expensive. Hm.

Thank you, um, for coming back.

Well, two bolters don't make a right.

Sorry, that sounded better in my head. Hm.

Um, look, I know that I owe you a proper explanation and I-

Please, can we not? I'm just...

I'm not in the right head space for that.

Yeah, fine.

(Slurps coffee loudly)

What? Nothing. Don't look at me like that. It's creepy.

Well, it's just It's...

Never mind. Sorry.

Um, Kristen's throwing me this, like, bachelorette party thing.

It's really stupid, but it's at a spa.

I was hoping that you and Sheryl might wanna come.

It's a good place to relax.

Hmm... Is there a steam room?

Yeah. And there's a sauna. There's a pool.

What's that? Oh, Valium.

Just a half. Want the other half?

No, no, I'm good for Valium. Okay.

I've also got weed gummies if you want them for the spa.

They sort of enhance the experience. Okay?

It's Canada. They're legal. Don't forget your swimmies.

(Wind chimes and relaxing spa music)

(Distorted, whispering voices)

(Sound returns to normal)

BARBARA: I'll have the usual, Jocelyn.

Signature vitamin infusion with enhanced plasma.

It's the newest anti-aging technology in the world.

I'll have the "perk up my pregnancy potion".

It's just vitamins. Depends what your body needs.

How do you feel? Oh.

I can often get this ache in my chest. (Pleasant jazz)

And a sort of sinking feeling in my belly.

Some mornings I find it hard to see the point of living.

Do you think they have anything for that? (Laughs)

BARBARA: Oh, she's a hoot. She'll have the reboot.

Yeah, make that two reboots.

Well, while we're all hooked up, I want to take this moment

to focus on our bride to be. Oh...

If anybody has anything prepared, please share.

(Chuckles nervously) Or feel free to be spontaneous.

Oh, that's okay. KRISTEN: No.

Anyone? Okay, I'll go first. (Clears throat): Thank you.

Marriage isn't easy.

Like two traffic lanes merging, the ride can get bumpy.

But once in the same lane,

the path to your real destination becomes smooth and clear.

Motherhood?

Ah! (Chuckles excitedly)

Baby's kicking. (Chuckles)

Got it? Feel it.

There's a little elbow?

No, like, really feel.

Don't talk to her about babies, Christine.

She has a womb like the Gobi Desert.

It's Kristen. Oh, there's always adoption.

I sponsored three girls in South Sudan

and I think of them as my babies.

I get monthly updates.

Okay, who's next with the words of wisdom?

Suze?

Oh, I don't know? I mean...

Maybe be true to yourself,

be honest, and you'll find your way.

So beautiful. And so real. Hm.

Hi, everyone. Sorry I'm late.

Hi.

You know those vitamin things are a hoax, right?

Total waste of money. Shelly, we're so glad you could join.

Any words of wisdom for our bride to be?

Oh, um... Marriage is a crapshoot?

Sign a prenup. (Laughs) BARBARA: She's a riot.

Okay, as the one in the room who's been married the longest,

I want to say this.

When you meet the right person, it's worth it.

But marriage isn't for the faint of heart.

To wake up every day with the same human

over and over

and over again

takes real guts.

Some days you'll wake up and think, "If I throw a toaster

into the shower, will I get caught?"

You're brave, Sare.

And my Stephen is lucky to have found someone

with your integrity and intelligence.

And I...

will finally have the daughter I always wanted.

Now, who's up for a sprinkle of Botox?

On me? Suze?

I'm-I'm grand. Actually, I... I need I need the toilet.

A little sprinkle goes a long way.

(Birds chirp)

Oh, fuck.

Barbara says I need a robe. Well, if Barbara says...

Got you to myself. The famous sister.

Oy, look at this punim. Oh!

I am so happy to finally meet you. I'm the famous aunt.

Oh, you're her mam's sister. She talks about you nonstop.

Oh. And her mother, Rachel...

May her memory be a blessing to us all.

I don't think she'd be too fond of this circus,

but it makes her happy. Well, he makes her feel...

The family makes her feel stable.

And I think with the surgery looming...

She just wants to move forward. Surgery?

Ugh. It's just such a heartbreak at this age

to reconcile losing your breasts and your uterus.

But I'm a gyno.

I've worked through this with plenty of women.

And there's life after, I promise.

And she definitely has to have it, right?

After what happened to her mother?

Oh, yeah. Yes. It's far too risky not to.

WOMAN: Susan Molloy? Who's asking?

It's a gift from Barbara. Oh, Barbara says...

It's a healing Reiki relief special. Well, thank you.

I don't want a massage.

Treatment room two in five minutes.

(Sighs): Oh, God.

(Pensive, mid tempo music) (Under her breath): Shit.

(Music continues)

THERAPIST: You need to drink a lot of nettle tea.

You'll feel some cramping, nausea, diarrhoea,

because you didn't release. Don't worry. That'll pass.

Thanks. (Calming music plays in background)

Look, I'm sorry about Kristen. I know she can be a lot.

Can she? Yeah.

Like, with the whole...

With the baby thing.

Ah, she's she's grand.

It's good she has so many. Takes the pressure off you.

So many grandkids means it's okay if you don't wanna have any.

Yeah, I guess so.

So Steve knows? What?

That you don't want kids? Yeah, I think so.

I mean, I think I've made that pretty clear.

You think or you have? I have. I have. I have.

Look, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?

Yeah?

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Well, as long as long as you're okay.

Yeah, will you please stop asking me that.

Okay. (Exhales heavily)

Listen,

I need to get out of here. Where? Canada?

No, the spa. It's the jet lag. Can I go back to the house?

Oh, yeah. Okay.

That's okay? Yeah. Of course.

Okay.

Okay.

(Calming music continues)

(Pleasant guitar music)

(She exhales; clears throat)

Is that the only jacket you brought? Yeah. I'm not cold.

You can sit up front. I'm not actually an Uber. Fuck.

Feels a bit soon to be sharing the front seat. Doesn't it?

It's just a ride, Suze.

Just in Ireland a ride means, um...

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Yeah. Okay.

Hey, can I take you somewhere? Well, depends where.

You'll like it. Okay.

(Pleasant guitar fades into calming music)

What a cheerful bride. Oh, hi.

Shall we, schvitz? We shall.

(Sare grunts) Up-uh!

I like the sister. She's a shiksa version of you.

Yeah, but she's thinner. She's too skinny.

What if there's a war? (Sare laughs)

Oh, F me. It's hot. Mhm.

You know, I have been racking my brains trying to think of

what your mother'd say about you getting married.

But the truth is, marriage wasn't her thing.

It's just what you did back then. You didn't.

Yes, but I'm an exceptional person.

(Sare chuckles)

She had her issues, right? Marriage and other things.

But the one thing that she never regretted was having you.

She loved you so much, cookie. She was very proud of you.

Well, she had a pretty funny way of showing it.

We're Jews.

She wasn't gonna say it to your face. (Sare laughs)

But go to Temple Shalom ask anybody there

for your high school GPA. I am telling you, they all know.

I just wish we'd had more time, you know?

Me too, bubala.

Me too.

Oh, God, she'd hate all of this. She would.

But she would want you to be happy.

I am.

I mean, I...

I think I am. I... No, I am. I just...

Yeah, I just wanna get it over with.

Ah!

Okay. How romantic. No, no!

You know I mean the wedding part.

I just want to be on the other side of that.

I just wanna be married. I wanna be settled.

And, you know, I'll get the surgery over with, and...

And I'll start my life.

Keneinahora. (Sare laughs)

No more drama.

Okay.

Are we doing the cold plunge thing? Yeah. I'm too hot.

How is this good for you? I feel so sick.

You first. Five more minutes.

My legs are stuck to each other. Uh! No, forget it. I have to pee.

(Pleasant inquisitive tune) (Water runs)

(Beautiful bird song)

Here, put this on. Okay. Where have you taken me?

I just want to show you something really Canadian.

Okay. Yeah.

A little place that I like to come when I need to escape.

Wow. It's pretty nice.

It's beautiful now but see it in the fall.

The leaves are every colour you can imagine.

Mhm. And then you just hear. (Bellows)

What the fuck was that? That (Laughs)

That's a stag bellowing for its mate. You're off your head.

No, fall is also, uh...

rutting season. (She laughs)

People will come from everywhere to listen to that.

Sorry. Hang on.

People come here to listen to deer fucking in a forest?

Don't say it like that. It's weird when you say it like that.

Shit and I thought romance was dead. Ooh, thank you.

Oh, Jesus, that's strong.

SHERYL: I've only ever seen martinis in James Bond films.

I usually have mine with a twist, but today

we go dirty.

Oh, I like the sound of that, Babs.

They fly the olives in from the Amalfi.

Oh, that sounds very posh. (Soft jazz plays in background)

Cheers. (Chuckles)

Ssslaunchuh.

Ha, that's right, sláinte. (Glasses clink)

Mmm. Ooh!

(Coughs): That'll put hairs on your chest, Babs.

Will it? Mmm!

Oh! (Laughs) (Phone chimes)

Oh, Jesus God.

Everything okay?

Right as rain, Babs? You are so lucky.

I've been called many things, but lucky isn't one of them.

You are. It's not that I wish Charles was dead. Of course not.

I just hope he goes first, you know?

So I get an extra little chapter. Just for me.

You are in your chapter.

Am I? No husband or kids. No strings, no rules.

This is your time.

If I were you, I would move to Paris.

Oh, Paris? I've never been.

Look at you! You made it all the way here, didn't you?

Mhm. So!

Tell me.

Who. Were you. Before?

(Ice clinks) Before what? Before you were married.

What? When I was 17? That is young.

Never really thought about who I was.

Just trying to make ends meet.

Well, we need to get in touch with that 17 year old little

baby Sheryl

and ask her what the fuck she wants out of life.

Well, she'll be having more of these Amalfi olives, Babs,

and that's for sure.

It's a start. You want to go dirty again?

Oh, so dirty! (Laughs conspiratorially)

(Pleasant guitar music) (Water runs, birdsong)

You ever done anything really bad? Me?

No, I never put a foot wrong. (Chuckles)

Lucky Lukey. What was that?

What did you just say?

(She chuckles) (Music fades)

You have something to confess?

Bless me father, for I have sinned. Oh, fuck.

What? Don't, it's just...

Irish woman full of Catholic guilt? Pretty hot.

(Laughs) I feel like I need to confess that...

Well, I'm having impure thoughts now. Shut up.

No, listen, Luke,

I've been celibate for over a year.

By choice.

I think I might be dead inside.

I think your pheromones betray you.

Fuck these Judas pheromones. I just I think you like me.

I do not!

Okay, I won't kiss you then.

No, you better not. I won't.

You're not gonna get lookie?

No lookie for Lukey. (Chuckles): No.

I'm sorry.

I'm fucking starving.

I know what we need.

Come here.

We need pancakes.

(Pleasant music resumes) Fuck yeah, pancakes.

Let's go.

BARBARA: Ooh!

Driver, take this woman to Barney's on King Street.

You wanted to hear some music! (Mid tempo drums)

And here you go, it's your time. Woohoo! (Nervous): Woohoo!

Bye! (Breathes shakily): Woohoo!

JIMMY: Sheryl? Meet me in Barney's on King Street.

I'll be there.

Oh!

(Barbara continues to whoop) Mother of God. Woohoo.

Woohoo! (Faintly): Woohoo!

(Drums conclude) (Door opens)

Fuck it's freezing out there.

Okay, we're gonna divide and conquer.

You need to find us some music.

Okay, so: flour.

Sugar... Oh-ho-ho!

Who pissed on your cornflakes?

What do you mean? There's some pretty sad shit on here.

There's not sad shit on there. This is... (She laughs)

(Soft low tempo piano music)

So you're, uh... (She clears throat)

Dead inside, huh?

Dead, dead.

Ah...

Jesus! Holy shit!

What the fuck? Would you leave it out?

(Whimsical drums)

Hello, Susan. (Horror film music)

(Whimsical drums continue)