Original subtitles

BARBARA (Muffled): Sare?

Sare, honey, are you - Are you okay? Is she okay?

(Whispers): It could be the perimenopause.

(Muffled finger click) (Music intensifies dramatically)

(Music concludes)

(High energy classical music) (Birds chirp cheerfully)

(Door slams shut)

(Kristen sighs) (Music ends)

Come along, children. (Clicks tongue playfully)

Thank you, Renata. You be good. Bye. Mommy loves you. Mwah!

BOY: Why do they talk so weird?

When are we going home?

(Loud, muffled argument upstairs)

She seems much better. (Kristen chuckles nervously)

It's probably just wedding nerves.

Have a crudité.

(Loud chewing)

SARE (Upstairs): You should know this if we're getting married.

Why would I be pleased? STEVE: They're family, your new family.

Steve wanted it to be a surprise.

(Charles chuckles) It's so romantic.

We are just so grateful that you made it,

what with all your obligations.

I'm actually Irish myself.

You are not! I am.

My mother's father's cousin's mother was born there.

Do you know whereabouts? No.

Somewhere with an S. Or maybe it was a C.

Cork? No.

Connemara? No.

Carlow? No.

Cavan? Don't know. (Chuckles nervously)

But I did a 23andMe and found out that I am 3.5%.

You gotta be careful with those. Yes.

My friend did it and learnt her father wasn't really her father.

Kristen, dear... And it was g-

BARBARA: Remember what Derek told you? KRISTEN: I am so sorry.

That was really insensitive of me. Ugh! Pregnancy brain.

(Politely): Oh.

So, what number will this baby be?

Number four. (All chuckle joyfully)

But I told Derek I'm calling it at six.

That must keep you busy, Christine.

Oh. (Chuckles nervously)

Kristin. It does.

Also, I'm an orthopaedic surgeon, so, yeah, it's pretty tiring.

You know, there's this fish tank at work,

and sometimes when it gets to be all too much, I just stare at it.

Sometimes for hours. And then I feel better.

(Clock ticks loudly)

(Gasps): Oh, the salmon.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Mam, don't.

Something from Ireland.

This is for you. Sligo salmon. (Sniffs disgusted)

It's 100% farm sourced. Oh, that is... lovely.

Thank you very, very much.

You must be exhausted from your trip. (Chuckles)

Please, make yourselves at home.

Renata will show you to your rooms.

Renata!

(Elegant violin music) (All laugh nervously)

STEVE: You were so upset when I met you

and you'd said goodbye to them then.

I just need a minute, okay? Please,

just-just-just let me breathe.

You are being very rude hiding up here.

They've flown such a long way. We have to make the best of this.

You're treating me like I'm some human trafficker of Irish women.

What? That's not me. Come on.

I just want our wedding to be beautiful. That's all.

I know. I know.

Y'know, your side was looking a little thin.

It's true.

You'll want to look back and see your family in those photos.

I can't believe she actually came.

That just shows how much she cares about you, right?

Yeah. To be that successful and busy

and still make the time? That says ...Steve...

I haven't... ...so much about a person.

...been entirely honest with you. (Phone chimes)

Who's "Pete Pills"? SARE: What?

Oh, he's a, uh... He's a...?

He's a what? No, he's a...

Umm... Oh, my God. You're having an affair.

Is that what you're saying? What? No!

Is that why you're so upset? No! I'm I...

I'm seeing a therapist.

What? Yeah.

I... started going to therapy.

That's great.

Oh, my gosh. No, Sare, that is great. Yeah.

I mean, it makes sense. You need help.

No, no, I mean, with everything you've been through.

Yeah, no, I know. It's great. It feels good, you know?

It feels good. Yeah. I'm working on a do over.

A what? Oh, it's a therapy thing.

Yeah. Oh, that's exciting.

(Chuckles): I know. I would like a do over too.

For a small fortune, you can have one. Okay.

I just didn't want to tell you. I wasn't sure how you'd react.

But I'm so happy that you're happy.

(Mid tempo whimsical drums)

(Exhales heavily) (Music ends)

SHERYL: Suzie!

It's like at the Ritz. (Water sloshes)

What are you doing? There's a little bath for your feet.

Oh, Mam, that's a bidet. That's for... What?

Nothing. Want to give yours a rinse?

No, I'm not staying.

Are you mad? We weren't invited.

Of course we were invited. Yeah, not by her.

It was a surprise. Sheryl, the woman passed out.

She just had a shock.

She's delighted to see you. She's your-

She's your own flesh and blood, Suzie. And she's getting married.

(Whispers): Into what? Like, seriously? Who are these people?

They're a proper family. I'd have loved a...

(Louder): Proper family.

(Bell rings) RENATA: Le dîner est servi!

Are you fucking joking me?

Oh, Suzie. Is that French?

I don't know. Suzie.

Please don't cause a scene. Okay?

(Elegant string music)

(Cutlery clinks)

Well, hope the jet lag doesn't hit you too hard.

I feel much better since I freshened up.

Oh, good.

Had little go with bidet. (Chokes shocked)

BARBARA: Right... Mine can get terribly sweaty

if I'm sat for too long. What about yours, Barb?

Mam... Mam. (Cutlery clinks)

Su-Suze, How is that famous restaurant of yours going?

Yes, I was telling Steve's family

how you opened your own restaurant...

(Chuckles shocked) and that it was always your big dream.

Yes, yes, the restaurant. My restaurant. Oh, well,

I'm so glad you asked, Barb. So listen, it's flying.

What restaurant? My restaurant, Mam.

Bless her. She forgets. (Kristen chuckles)

KRISTEN: What type of cuisine is it? Roadkill.

(Barbara coughs) (Sare chuckles)

Sorry, did you say roadkill?

Yeah, whatever I manage to scrape up that morning with a shovel,

then I put my own gourmet twist on it. BARBARA: Oh.

This is that famous Irish sense of humour

that I was telling you all about. (All laugh)

No, it's actually Cuban-Thai fusion.

Oh, oh, oh! We did Cuba. Loved it!

Anyway, I want to hear more about the happy couple.

So let me get the facts straight.

You left me in Ireland.

I remember, sis, how hard it was to say goodbye.

We hugged and hugged. She couldn't let go.

And then you met Steve.

Steve. (Chuckles) I love that name, by the way.

You met Steve on the plane back from Ireland?

STEVE: Yes. Yeah. Well, it was crazy. Yeah.

I was on the connecting flight from London to Toronto.

I went to see the Chihuly exhibit at Kew Gardens.

Yeah, I almost didn't get a ticket. His glass is so popular.

There was this one flower with a stamen that is awe inspiring.

Anyway, can you imagine if I hadn't got a ticket?

We would have never met. Aww.

She would have had to find another Steve. (Laughs nervously)

Oh, that was a good one. She's funny, I told you.

So, she was sitting right next to you, Steve?

Well, we were in business so she was across the aisle

and oh my God. (Chuckles): She was a bit of a mess.

Yeah, just makeup everywhere.

She looked like a blown up cabbage. Like...

just sobbing. Sobbing? Really?

She was so sad to have said goodbye to her new family.

Well, I don't believe it. Mm.

Would you mind, Charles? Sure.

My baby sister sobbing.

I didn't know you were missing me that much.

Yeah, well, she needed a shoulder to cry on and...

I was that lucky shoulder.

All's well tha- That ends well.

I love the Bard.

Sure. Who doesn't? (All laugh)

Oh, my goodness. That's great. I love her.

Aww... Me too. STEVE: Then...

Anyway, I called Mummy on the way back from the airport

to tell her... "I met my wife today." ALL: Aww!

Yes, he did. (Sare laughs nervously)

When you know... You know.

You two... (All laugh)

Oh, you're so lucky, Sare,

meeting someone straight away like that.

Suzie wouldn't get a kick in a stampede. Ugh.

(Nervous laughter) I got so lucky with my Derek.

So, where is he? Yes, exactly.

(Clears throat): I have something to say...

to Sare...

And to Suze. Oh.

I am so sorry for your loss. Oh, no, that's okay.

You know, we don't have to do that.

No, honey, honey, this is important.

I mean, Suze, at least you met your father

while he was still alive.

But Sare flying all that way,

then finding out that she's an orphan was...

truly just the biggest blow.

What?

Sure, Jimmy isn't- Shh, Mam, just let him speak.

Thank you. So I would like to raise a toast.

To your father, Jimmy. James.

May he rest in peace.

To James Molloy.

STEVE'S FAMILY: To James Molloy. (Glasses clink)

(Violin music ends on a dramatic note)

Oh, no. (Clicks tongue) Oh, God. (Intriguing music)

There's been an emergency.

KRISTEN: Oh, no. At the restaurant.

God. Looks like I'm gonna have to fly back tomorrow. I am so sorry.

What is the emergency? SUZE: Shit, Barbara.

Actual shit.

Pouring out of every orifice in the building. And this timing?

I mean, surely you can find a plumber online.

No, I can't. No. It's such a shame. But I-I understand.

That's Suze. She's always putting work first.

CHARLES: Oh, dear. Oh, dear. That's too bad.

(Door slams shut) Are you off your fucking rocker?

Didn't mean to say he died. It just came out.

And I couldn't backtrack. Yeah.

It's hard to backtrack from death.

What has happened to you? What?

What is with the pearls and nice hair?

It was a trial. We're gonna change it.

The first guy you meet seconds after abandoning me.

I didn't abandon you...I... What do you call it?

Rejected? Ditched? Dumped? No!

No, it it wasn't like that. I-

I freaked out. (Pants)

Okay?

Oh! Well, thank you for the explanation.

Glad I waited a year and a half and flew to Canada for that.

No, I-

You couldn't even be arsed to find someone

with a different name.

Hope you saved on the stationery.

Well, at least I can get engaged. Twice.

That's two more times than you.

Many, many men have wanted to marry me.

Not in the last 10 years.

How the fuck would you know? You don't know shit about me.

You are so fucking selfish.

Have you considered how this might have affected me?

No. No. It was all about you. Your pain, your daddy.

Oh, come on. I was just a walking ATM to you.

Not true. You got what you wanted.

I gave you my ring. Oh yeah, I meant to say thank you.

What a windfall. Really helped me set up (Shouts) my restaurant!

What could I say? That you're a 40 year old waitress?

(Laughs): At least I have a job.

Being a trophy wife's putting that law degree to good use.

I am on a board! Of a charity! Saving lives!

Mother fucking Theresa.

It's better than serving slop to strangers for

minimum fucking wage. (Sare pants)

You know what? I get it.

I'd be embarrassed by me too.

At least I'm not a coward and a liar. (Mid tempo whimsical music)

Fine. If that's what you think of me,

then go.

Go. Go ruin your lungs. See, if I...

If I wanted you at my wedding, I would have invited you!

(Music concludes; door slams shut) (She pants)

SUZE: Fuck sake...

Oh, shit.

Jesus!

Oh, fucking hell!

(She exhales heavily

Ugh!

BARBARA (Outside): Sare, remember the hair appointment.

(Sighs softly)

(Music concludes)

(Very loud snoring)

(Sare clicks tongue)

(Sare sighs)

(Snoring continues)

(Lid pops, pills rattle inside, bottle locks)

(Door creaks open)

(Floorboards creak)

(Emotional music)

(Footsteps outside)

(Knocking on door)

(Suze sights)

(Door opens loudly) (Sheryl breathes shakily)

Mam... Ah...

Sorry, Suzie. It's the middle of the night.

It's so lonely in that room. And I was worried that you'd gone.

No, not yet.

Oh, come on.

(Sheryl breathes shakily)

What?

That's Deryl's side.

(Sheryl inhales sharply)

Okay.

(Breathes shakily) Come on, get in.

(Inhales sharply)

Oh, don't be too hard on her, Suzie. (Exhales thoughtfully)

I think she's a little...

a little bit on edge.

(Gentle emotional piano) (Birds chirp)

(Music turns thoughtful)

(She exhales heavily)

DRIVER: Hey. Hey, it's Susan.

Susan? Yep, Susan.

Okay.

Eh... Airport? All right.

Is there a way you'd like me to drive? Yeah. Quietly.

(Engine sputters) You got it.

(Whimsical music)

(Kettle whistles)

SHERYL: Ooft! Dear Lord.

(Kettle whistling and music end) (Children laugh nearby)

BOY: Can we go now? Oh, it must be so lovely to be a granny.

They don't call me that. They call me Baba.

Oh, what, like the elephant?

(Laughs): Sheryl, you're hilarious. Coming, sweethearts.

(Blows a kiss)

Suzie would have loved to be a mother. What?

But I think that ship has sailed. Caught fire and sunk.

I don't think it's too late for Suze.

My friend's sister just had twins at 47.

Oh, Sare, she tried all of that.

Saved every penny she earned to get those eggs on ice.

She did? Mmm.

All them needles. Reminded me of the '80s.

It didn't work out. Anyway, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

My mother had 13 and she didn't want...

any of us. (Chuckles)

I should really go talk to her. Oh, she's gone.

What? Yeah, the little wagon.

Left this morning. (Emotional guitar music)

(Sare sighs softly)

(She exhales heavily; clicks tongue)

Hey, it's Suze. I'm busy right now. Leave a message.

SUZE: And this muppet, Steve... Ugh!

She doesn't wanna marry him.

(Sighs annoyed): So fucking obvious. What a dick.

(Snorts) And he loves himself.

And the mother? "We did Cuba." Who does Cuba?

What does that even mean?

What, like you fucked it? Oh, God, and the sister in law?

Who has that many babies anymore?

Doesn't she know the planet is on fire?

What'll happen to those kids when the glaciers melt?

(Whimsical drums)

Must have been a really early flight. (Music ends)

Slept right through.

Best sleep I've had since Deryl died. What?

Deryl died? Yeah.

Killed by his own ice cream van. Head was squashed

like a watermelon.

Oh, my God. I'm-I'm...

I'm so sorry. I've been meaning to ask how you are.

I just I've been so distracted with the whole

the wedding thing, and I just I Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

What are you sorry for? You didn't kill him.

(Chuckles)

DRIVER: Okay, so you're gonna fly all the way home

just because you don't like the family she's marrying into?

Look, it's a long story.

What was your name? Oh, Luke.

Hmm. I thought everyone in Canada was called Steve.

Oh, love.

(Sheryl sighs heavily)

You're still thinking about Steve One.

Oh, no, I'm- It's normal.

When I was marrying Deryl, all I could think about

was Jimmy. (Sheryl sighs)

He rang.

After Deryl died, Jimmy.

He's on the dry. I don't wanna know. Uh uh.

It's just a little white lie.

I'm sure they'd understand and be delighted he's alive and well.

It's not a lie. He is dead. To me.

Bet ya he'd walk you down the aisle if you'd asked him.

(Snorts) That's a terrible idea.

(Laughs) Yeah, you're probably right.

He never had a talent for walking in straight lines.

(Laughs)

He he actually...

He actually pooed in his pants at our wedding.

Poop? Real poop? Yeah. (Chuckles)

(Both laugh)

He got so drunk, he actually did it in his trousers.

Oh, my God. What did you do?

Oh, what I always did. Cleaned it up.

(Sheryl chuckles sadly)

What kind of daughter leaves her mother stranded

in a foreign country?

You're not stranded. You have me.

I'm really, I'm so happy you're here.

Oh!

Thank you for coming. Mm!

Oh... Ooh! (Chuckles)

Can I have a little peek of the dress?

Oh, you're getting a sneak preview.

(Mid tempo whimsical drums) It's made from organic silk

from Mumbai.

Oh, look at that. Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, look. Oh.

(Sare chuckles) (Drums end)

Oh, no...

No. What?

(Sharply): No. What?

No. (Drums resume)

No!

Steven. Steven!

So how long have you been an Uber driver? I'm not an Uber driver.

What? Oh, yeah, I didn't say I was.

You just got in my car, told me to drive you to the airport, so...

Who the fuck are you? I'm the dick's brother.

(Whimsical drums) Oh, dear Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus.

You're the brother of the family? That's your Mam?

Oh my God. I'm so I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed.

BARBARA: This...

Is Arctic white.

But this is Ant arctic white. (Intrigued music)

To me, um, this is white,

and this is also white.

They definitely both look white to me, Barb.

I don't know. I can kind of see the difference.

It'll have to go back. Well, it it can't go back.

(Tearful): You can't get married. Wha ?

I don't know. I don't really think that it's such a big deal.

It doesn't bother you that she's upset? Mummy?

Definitely both white, Sare. Mm.

White, white. Both white. Yeah.

You know, you could just stay. (Sighs)

Trust me, she doesn't want me here.

Look, between you and me,

I, uh, I think Sare's having a pretty hard time right now.

I mean, in fact, I know she is.

(Mid tempo whimsical drums) (Birds chirp)

(Music fades with a long, sharp note)

(Blows a raspberry)

Hey, it's Suze. I'm busy right now. Leave a message.

(Tone beeps)

(Clears throat)

Hi, Suze, um. It's Sare. Obviously. (Tender music)

Um...

(Clicks tongue) You probably boarded your plane.

You're probably in the sky.

I just wanted to say that I, um...

(Teary): I don't really think that I can do this alone.

And I was just wondering if maybe you (Knocking on door)

I was just leaving you a voicemail. Yeah.

I was listening.

Will you stay for the wedding? Well, I came back, didn't I?

(Moody pop music) That the dress?

Yeah. Huh. Nice.

Not too weddingy.

Like you could dye it black and wear it to a funeral.

(Soda Blonde's "The Saddest Thing" continues to play)

♪ It's all about you

♪ I'm only going out If you'll be there

♪ I'm hiding all my shame

♪ With something nice to wear

♪ I haven't Met you yet

♪ Isn't that The saddest thing... ♪