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[Static]

If your transmissions gotcha down.

Or your motor falls apart.

That's the time to come to Thunder Bolt [VHS static]

Oh.

Hey.

I didn't see you there.

Stanley Stimple here.

You can call me Stan.

This is President's Day.

Who'd of thought?

This is what I'm calling the Stars-n-Stripes Sale.

This President's Day, we're [stuttering] popping prices.

We've got 40%-- that's 55% off original prices from 49%.

We've got so many doggone beads in here.

We can't hold all the volume.

You know what my daddy used to say?

Big men don't like little mattresses.

It ain't true.

Some do.

We're here to make your dreams become dreams.

And that's the simple Stimple's guarantee.

Come on down.

Daddy used to tell mama, don't ever

sleep on a mattress that isn't mine.

That's my daddy.

And this is his shirt.

And this is our 25th President's Day Sale

here at the Stimple Mattress Temple

off of Westheimer in front of the Windchimes Theater.

We've got this bed right here.

All right?

It's 76% off.

All right?

That's 1776-- birth of a great nation.

All right?

America.

This one over here-- this one is 74% off.

That is July the 4th--

that ain't today, because today is President's Day.

But you know, it's another one of them American things.

My daddy is dead.

But his dream of making your dreams become dreams--

that's still alive.

We're still [stuttering] popping off prices.

All you got to do is come down to the Stimple Mattress Temple

and get some of these dang beds.

All right?

We'll see you soon.

I'm Dr. Loraine Dubbard.

And welcome back.

This is Taking Control-- a three-part encouragement series

aimed at assisting loved ones who

may have drifted from their pre-determined path

using subconscious coercion therapy, or SCT.

Do you know the key to consciousness?

Of course not.

And why would you?

You haven't been given the proper training [stuttering]

resources.

As a non-medical doctor in pseudolectual hypothesis,

I have nearly four-years experience

within my field of thought.

My goal is to inch you closer to the everlasting void

of understanding consciousness, which,

after completing this series, culminates in our follow up

six-part series--

Maintaining Control.

In it, you will learn the subtlety of long-term essential

life guidance through SCT techniques for the low one-time

fee of-- fee--

When we last spoke, you were initiating SCT phase 2.

You should now be anywhere between seven to nine days

into treatment depending on responsiveness.

[faucet running]

Now, I should remind you how important it is at this phase--

[brushing]

--for your subject to have no awareness of their treatment,

as it could result in unintentional

mental blocking during REM sleep, preventing

inadequate connection.

As always, sedation should only be

used in exceptional conditions.

Now that we are all caught up, let's proceed.

[spitting]

[sigh]

[keys hit floor]

Was that an earthquake?

I'm sorry, Babe.

I was-- I was trying to be quiet.

The whole world was shaking.

It was just my keys.

Are you sure it wasn't an earthquake?

In Houston?

It's probably on the news.

I don't--

[sigh]

OK.

[droning music playing]

[droning music playing]

Morning, Randy.

Come here.

Come over here.

Take a look at this.

[sigh]

What's this look like to you?

You mean in context--

like, as a whole?

It's rabbit shit.

How sure are you?

Well, what else could it be?

[sniffing]

Oh, maybe a deer.

What, you can tell?

I have no idea.

[sigh]

You're fucking with me.

The deer?

What?

No.

I don't know who did it.

He does seem like an asshole.

He?

You saw him?

No.

It's just the likelihood of a deer

being female is extremely slim.

Where do you even find a flag this tiny?

I don't know.

I guess the internet.

I guess.

How long do you think it takes to type "flag"

on a keyboard with hooves?

How does this work--

like, day to day?

What do you mean?

You as a human in, like, a manageable way?

I don't know.

You're a difficult person to connect to.

I think it's difficult for anyone to connect nowadays.

This isn't about connection.

It's about basic functionality.

I mean, that's the basis of all communication, isn't it?

Man, you look like shit.

Thanks.

Hey, how's your sister doing?

Heard from her lately?

My sister?

Yeah.

I spoke to her on Friday-- we didn't actually speak.

But I feel like she's been avoiding me ever since.

I don't have a sister, Randy.

She's a little strange.

I think I might have confused her.

What is this, a joke?

What is-- what is that?

[sniffing]

I don't smell anything.

Is that patchouli oil?

[sniffing]

Oh, god.

It's Jess' lotion.

She ran out of--

Jess?

Get the fuck off of my yard.

You can't be serious.

Yeah, I'm fucking serious.

Get the fuck off my yard.

[sigh]

Asshole.

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

Hey, Miguel.

Senor Dave, there's a chain on the door.

Wait.

Slow down.

I can't understand you.

And he says we break the health code.

What are you talking about, a health code?

We sell mattresses.

Yes.

I told them They no listen.

Don't you let them leave, Miguel.

This town needs us.

But the sign--

The simple step-- the Stimple--

What should I do?

The fucking commercial!

But they no listen.

Just don't let them leave.

Bed bugs.

They said that?

The worst they've seen.

Where are they?

The beds.

No, Miguel.

The health department.

Oh.

They leave.

Wait.

Why didn't you try to stop them?

I say, hey, wait.

But they say, no.

[sigh]

My wife bake you some cookies.

She thinks they maybe cheer you up.

Cheer me up?

Yes.

It's chocolate chip.

Thank you.

But I'm allergic to chips.

Oh.

I let her know.

Why would she think I needed cheering up?

The bed bugs.

Did you know about this already?

Yes.

And you didn't think to tell me?

I leave a note on your desk Friday when you went for lunch.

There was no note on my desk Friday.

No.

I leave it.

Oh.

God.

Your handwriting is terrible, Miguel.

I can't make out a word of this.

It's Spanish.

OK.

Whatever.

Look, nobody can make this out.

Oh. OK.

It says, "the health department called

to say they have complaints from customers about bed bugs.

They say they will come first thing Monday morning

to inspect.

Also, can I leave early Monday to take

my brother to get his windows tinted?"

Why can't he take himself?

His truck is not working.

Where are the windows?

On his truck.

So how were you going to get them tinted?

They put the black tape on the window.

Look, I know how they do it.

How are you going to get him there?

We take the truck.

But the truck isn't working.

Yes.

[groans]

God.

Why wouldn't our customers have just come to us

first about the bed bugs?

Maybe they itched too much.

[honking]

[speaking spanish]

They leave this note.

They say, call you.

You call them.

[phone ringing]

Thank you for your inquiry at the Department of Health.

We are currently experiencing a higher than average call

volume.

A representative will be with you momentarily.

You have four callers ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

Thank you for your patience.

You have seven callers ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

What?

What are you looking at?

Thank you for your patience.

You have 12 callers ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

[click]

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Hey.

What does your-- what does your afternoon look like?

Yeah, that's kind of relative, isn't it, David?

Are you asking from my perspective

or as an objective observer?

That question alone brings up a number of issues.

To perceive, we'd first need proof existence

itself is not a false concept.

Some would argue that consciousness alone

is proof from a philosophical standpoint.

Speaking purely scientific though--

Do you want to eat or not?

I could eat.

Thank you.

Sure thing.

Do you think people notice how unaware they are?

What do you mean?

People.

Do you think they realize how oblivious they are

to their surroundings?

All people?

Some people.

A lot.

Most of all the people.

I don't think so.

How can they not see how fucking pointless it all is?

I think they're just preoccupied.

Is that a new jacket?

Yeah.

It's the one Randy Quaid wore in Independence Day.

I got it for an easy 600.

I don't think it is.

I mean, he definitely in the jet when

he flew up into the alien--

That's not Randy Quaid's jacket.

Take her for example.

Every day, I come in here.

And every day, she puts down a glass of ice water.

The glass, it sits there.

I order coffee.

I don't touch the water.

I eat my meal.

I pay.

I leave.

The water sits there.

Does this affect you in a negative way?

Every day, she smiles at me.

I don't look.

But I can feel it burning--

hot enough to melt the ice.

What is that supposed to mean?

The water is not necessary.

It's intrusive.

And it makes it very difficult to maintain

a comfortable atmosphere with it sitting on this table.

Just ask her not to bring water next time.

I think you're missing the point.

I think it's just good customer service.

What is?

The water.

You have a very strange face--

very allusive features.

Did it ever occur to you that people

may avoid you because of it?

I hadn't considered it, Carl.

No.

You should consider options.

For my face?

Yeah.

I mean, you could just make it look, you know,

somehow not so much the way that it does.

I haven't been sleeping well lately.

Where did that come from?

What am I supposed to do with that?

I don't know.

I'm just trying to have a conversation.

A conversation?

That--

[chuckles]

That just does not suit you.

Carl, it's what friends do.

Is it?

I'm, uh, thinking about starting to smoke.

Interesting.

Cigarettes?

Yeah.

How does this affect your level of awareness?

Only sometimes.

I just--

I have a lot of questions.

Kevin Sorbo was in this exact position once.

And then what?

And then nothing.

What do you mean?

What happened?

With what?

Jeez.

Carl, Kevin Sorbo.

This-- this is very grating.

Things are just not progressing here.

Where one would expect a presence,

in your case for example, there's

just a consummate lack of imaginative intuition.

It's just not a clear reference, Carl.

It doesn't seem relatable to anyone.

You're mad if you think I'm going to sit here and explain

to you the entire theory of cognitive realization

in relation to your own insignificance.

Is this about his work after Hercules?

What do you think about when people talk?

Them as people.

I don't know.

Sometimes, I wonder if they actually

share an interest in what I'm trying to say

or if they're just waiting for their next chance to interrupt.

You are drowning next to an empty boat, David.

Do you know why that boat's empty?

Not yet.

[droning sound]

The people in the boat have stopped

giving a shit years ago.

[snapping]

David, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

Where are you?

What are you talking about?

I'm right here.

I mean in your fucking head.

Look, have you ever walked into a place and felt like everybody

there knows something that you don't?

Or, I don't know, like something just

happened and you missed it?

No.

My self-awareness has become so distracting that I can't

focus on anything around me.

Look at that.

Where are you going?

Tell me something, David, how do you see time?

[scoffs]

What kind of question is that?

It's time.

It passes.

Exactly what I thought you'd say.

What, are you leaving already?

I need to reassess my approach.

Is this about my smoking?

No, Dave.

It's about relationships.

Everything is about relationships.

You lack empathy, David.

And it's very disconcerting.

Empathy for what?

Don't fuck this up.

[phone alert]

[droning music playing]

Sir, please.

You're holding up the line.

I'm the only one in the store.

There could be someone in the bathroom.

Is there?

No.

You have a weird presence.

I've never really done this before.

Been in a store?

No.

Yes.

I mean, what would you suggest?

Well, we have a special on sodas--

buy any two-liter and get either powdered donuts or ginseng

pills for $2.

Do you smoke?

No.

If you did, what would you rec-- recommend?

[droning sound]

Are you OK?

[claps]

Hey.

I'm sorry.

I think I'm going to start smoking today.

Oh.

You're at a crossroads.

Maybe just go.

What do you mean, go?

I mean, turn around and go out of the store.

Then what?

Then get in your car and go home.

Which ones are the best?

There is no "best" here.

You know what these do, right?

OK.

Which ones are the most popular?

Thinking about this in terms of popularity is somewhat ironic,

don't-- don't you think?

What do you mean?

Smokers by nature are assholes.

People actively dislike them.

You seem like a smart guy--

somewhat.

I find it hard to believe you would actively

choose to be a piece of shit.

Look, you are clearly working through something right now.

I mean, this isn't even about me, is it?

Here.

Those are the worst.

$5.50

Here.

Keep the change.

How generous.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey.

[object hits floor]

Lighters on me.

Go fuck yourself.

[music playing]

[coughing]

[clattering]

Would you pass the salt?

Thanks.

Your hair looks good today.

What's that supposed to mean?

I like it.

Does it look bad?

I just said it looks good.

You smell like an ashtray.

I had a lot of unanswered questions today.

And how did that make you feel?

Not great.

They closed the store down.

Mm hmm.

The health department said we had bed bugs.

Interesting.

And I don't think Carl cares for me much these days.

Well, he probably has his reasons.

No.

I don't think so.

It seems really out of character for him.

Maybe it's your intolerable passiveness.

I think he equated me to Kevin Sorbo--

which was a little hurtful.

It's not all your fault--

just mostly.

I mean, he's becoming increasingly

abstruse during our conversations.

Don't say that?

What, about Carl?

"Abstruse."

Why not?

[chuckles]

It makes you sound like an asshole.

Nobody says "abstruse."

OK.

Well, what would you like me to say?

Conversations with you don't go the way people want them to.

That's not what happens.

Not for you.

What about me?

When you're not paying attention,

you act like you are.

It's insulting.

Does everyone [stuttering]?

No.

[stuttering] mostly.

[low humming]

Why is this here?

It's a sitting area.

In the middle of a stairwell?

It's decoration.

It just takes up space.

Where would you like it to be, somewhere

in the corner out of the way?

Yeah.

That.

What is the point in a chair if it's not

going to be used as a chair?

Well, you lack vision.

Dave.

Yeah?

Stop wasting water.

Randy thinks there's a rabbit in the neighborhood.

Something keeps pooping on his lawn.

Did you see it?

Yeah.

I don't think it came from a rabbit though.

It was too big.

I meant-- never mind.

Maybe it was a deer.

Yeah, that's unlikely.

How so?

Deer don't just wander out of the woods and poop

wherever they feel like.

I think they do.

Not in our neighborhood.

Maybe someone is messing with him.

He was pretty upset.

What did you say that upset him?

I didn't say anything.

I mean, he didn't like the way that I smelled.

But that was later.

Was it?

Can you turn the light off?

I'm reading.

Did you even notice my tits?

Yes.

And that's it?

[sigh]

What do you expect me to say?

Why do you always have to make everything about you?

This is about us.

Then tell me why you don't want me.

You pull away from me every time I try to touch you.

So I just don't anymore.

I can't just be ready to go all the time.

It doesn't work like that.

You don't look at me the same anymore.

[sigh]

I just want you to want me the way you used to.

You never let me see you naked.

My tits are out right now.

Are they?

You can almost see the nipple.

Stop treating me like I'm a piece of meat.

You know I'm self-conscious about my body.

(SOFTLY) OK.

I want you to touch me.

What are you doing?

You just said--

My left breast.

Gently.

I'm not ready for this.

[low humming]

[droning sound]

[faucet running]

[brushing]

[coughing]

This [stuttering] can't be good.

Nobody respects you because you are a fucking pussy.

That's more like it.

[deep laughter]

[groaning]

(DISTORTED) Daddy, help me.

[underwater acoustics]

[coughing]

I'm going to start charging you an allowance for babysitting.

Randy?

What's wrong with you?

You're a grown ass man.

How did I get here?

Sleepwalking-- again, Dave.

God.

It was-- it was so constricting.

And there was all this pressure.

That's drowning.

You just described drowning.

But it slowly peeled away.

And then it just--

it just let go.

Look, you're going to buy me new plants.

I'm not going to go with you to pick them out.

But they better not be shitty.

Wait.

What?

You mean these weren't here before?

Perhaps I was growing an underwater garden.

I mean, it was a void--

non-existence, but not emptiness.

Go home.

[droning sound]

[sigh]

[droning sound]

Jess.

[intense music playing]

Oh, thank god.

[droning music playing]

[droning music playing]

What are you looking at?

What are you-- what are you doing?

You have no right.

Where did you come from?

They weren't yours.

I want them back.

Want what back?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

My puzzles.

Ma'am, I can honestly say that I have no idea about anything

with your--

with your puzzles.

Look, can I call somebody for you?

What is this?

[droning sound]

You need to stop asking questions

and start looking for answers.

Look, I told you I don't know anything about your puzzles.

You think this is about puzzles?

You just said it was about puzzles.

You don't even know when you are, do you?

Hey, mattress man, does that pussy still even get wet?

[inaudible]

[laughter]

[low humming]

I dare you.

OK.

So we're having a yard sale.

Want to buy a chair?

If it were Monday, I guess I could give you $30 bucks.

It is Monday, Randy.

There's something I got to tell you.

OK.

I was 12 my first time--

locked away in my parents bathroom

after school with some magazine that I

found behind a grocery store in a sewer drain or somewhere.

It was really disgusting--

pages stiff and brittle, some stuck together.

I guess it was S&M, but the women had penises.

No.

Look, you really don't have to finish this story.

So my mother, she fashioned herself a hippie in the 90s--

the fucking 90s.

I hate that woman.

She kept this big jug of patchouli oil on the counter.

Naturally, that was my first place to go.

Grabbed it.

Emptied it into my hands--

ruined the carpet.

Masturbated-- vigorously.

I felt this new sensation.

I knew I had opened some door that I would never,

or could ever, close again.

I felt so ashamed.

But hell, that didn't stop me.

And as I started feeling that tingle--

that amazing feeling--

I panicked.

I was terrified.

I felt this pain shoot straight up my spine and into my skull.

I fucking lost it.

I hit my head, fell down, passed out.

I fell asleep or something.

I woke up to my mother and her John of the week just standing

above me staring at me.

[growling]

I couldn't even look at my penis for months.

And it's the stench of that fucking oil

and that bushy mustache that I can't forget.

Mustache?

Yeah.

You couldn't even see his mouth--

which probably explains how they had so much--

Wait a minute.

What did you use the oil for?

Well, lubrication.

To masturbate?

Yeah.

Oh.

I knew you were a fucking weirdo--

just dry choking your sad penis into chafed disrepair,

crying in the corner.

That seems excessive, all right?

Our sex life has been perfectly fine until recently.

You and your penis?

Jess and I.

Jess?

She's my wife.

No.

It doesn't ring a bell.

We've been friends for five years, Randy.

I wouldn't necessarily call us friends.

[sigh]

There was a woman in your yard.

Now?

She's there now?

Was.

I said "was."

OK.

What was she doing?

She was just standing there--

just staring.

Staring at what?

I think she was trying to put a claim on your land.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

She put another flag in your yard.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's shit in my yard.

Yeah.

You showed me earlier.

No.

No. I cleaned that shit.

I cleaned that shit.

This is brand new shit.

Wait.

That-- that means that--

Yeah.

Yeah.

This old lady owns a fucking rabbit farm.

No.

That shit didn't come from an animal.

Oh, OK.

So it's just-- so you're just--

there's an old woman-- there's an old person

woman shitting in my yard is what you're saying to me?

I mean to be fair, she probably thought it was my yard.

How's that?

I don't know.

She was angry and confused.

About where to put her shit?

I think she's testing me.

I just don't know why.

Oh, great.

You're a fucking terrible neighbor.

Goodnight, asshole.

Figure your shit out.

It's getting really hard to be your acquaintance, David.

[droning music playing]

[sexy music playing]

Hey, folks.

Dave Stimple for the Stimple Mattress Temple.

We're-- we're stripping down our prices by [stuttering] popping

off our shirts I guess.

Getting down and-- down and dirty.

I don't know how to be sexy.

Just remember the simple Stimple guarantee--

where your dreams become dreams.

Are we done?

[bleep] jeez.

All right.

Who gives a [bleep]?

Welcome back to Taking Control.

I'm Dr. Loraine Dubbard.

As phase 2 concluded, depending on how far your subject was

wavering previous to treatment, you

should have begun to see acceptable results.

If not, we'll proceed into phase 3--

sensory isolation.

As we move along, much care should

be taken as your subject is likely to be in an emotionally

vulnerable state due to the toll our treatment has

had on their mind thus far.

During a small independent study, 65% of half the subjects

reported having no lasting residual effects.

However, [inaudible] and irreversible psychological

breakdown is plausible.

Proceed cautiously.

Are there any questions so far?

I shall try to answer them as best I can.

All right then.

Let's get started.

[alarm ringing]

[faucet running]

[groans]

Good morning, Babe.

What are you doing?

I'm not even sure.

Did you just discover something?

Maybe a new perspective.

You're 30-years old.

I mean, it's a sad looking thing--

just hanging there, waiting, getting stranger by the day.

Do you mind if I join?

I'm almost done.

[engine starts]

[phone ringing]

Thank you for your inquiry at the Department of Health.

We are currently experiencing a higher than average call

volume.

A representative will be with you momentarily.

You have nine callers ahead of you.

[hold music playing]

Thank you for contacting the Houston Department of Health.

My name is Angela.

How may I assist you?

Hi, Angela.

My name is Dave Stimple.

And I have a question--

Dave Stimple?

The Dave Stimple from the TV?

It's the simple Stimple guarantee.

Yes, ma'am.

I have a question about--

What is it you sell again?

Insurance?

Mattresses.

Mattresses?

Are you sure?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh...You should really say that in your commercial.

I do.

Multiple times.

Oh.

Hmm.

I guess it's just not that memorable.

Listen, I need to know why somebody locked down

my store yesterday.

Oh.

Well, that doesn't sound good.

Why would we do that?

I don't know, Angela.

That's why I'm calling you.

Sir, please calm down.

Can I have your reference number?

I wasn't-- I wasn't given one.

I was just given this card with a number to call.

Well, I can't see the card, sir.

So I'm unable to verify that.

Let me look up your address.

Please hold.

[hold music playing]

Mr. Stimple, none of our records show anything

about a closing of your business or any indication

that an inspector has even visited your premises.

But that's not possible.

I mean, I was there yesterday and there

was a lock on the door.

Mr. Stimple, our inspectors don't physically

lock down properties.

We provide a notice.

And it is the duty of the business owner

to properly comply.

I don't understand.

We don't carry locks on our person.

Our inspectors' job is to write citations, nothing more.

Then who locked down my store?

Sir, please calm down.

And I will--

No.

Listen, I need to know why I can't get inside

of my goddamn store!

Maybe you're behind on your rent because nobody can make sense

of your goddamn commercials.

You are very bad at your job.

I apologize, sir.

That was rude of me.

Thank you for your call.

And have a blessed day.

[sigh]

[engine starts]

[droning music playing]

[phone ringing]

Miguel, meet me at the store ASAP.

Something smells fishy.

Where's the ASAP?

It's new?

I don't like fish, senor Dave.

No.

As soon as possible.

At my store.

There's no fish.

OK.

Good.

I don't know what makes the smell then.

[erratic music playing]

[phone ringing]

It's Carl.

You know what to do--

or do you?

I can't keep track of where I am in the loop anymore.

Time-- it's a circle, you see.

Maybe-- maybe you never left a message before.

Maybe nobody has.

If this is the first message ever left,

please state your purpose.

This is very--

[beep]

Goddamn it, Carl.

What the fuck is going on?

Let's go in.

But the lock, senor.

Take it off.

What do you mean, take it off?

I mean, don't you have tools in your truck?

My truck is not working.

Remember?

Can you break it off?

It's too strong.

I see her before.

You know this woman?

Yes.

I catch her sleeping in the back.

Wait, how long has that been going on?

Maybe one week.

I tell her to leave and not to come back.

The combination is on the back.

Oh.

We find this for a couple of days.

So I come one night.

And I find her.

Why wasn't I told about this?

Oh.

I-- I get her to leave.

Here, I show you.

Oh, yes.

[VCR plays]

[giggling]

They never catch him.

Did you record over the security footage?

It's OK.

I record tonight.

Good and new.

Good as new, Miguel.

That too.

[spanish]

Stop the tape.

You don't like the--

the movie?

I just-- I have to figure some things out.

Yeah.

The first one was better.

Open the store, Miguel.

We're open.

But the bugs?

There are no bugs.

[creature making sounds from TV]

[scatting song]

[droning music playing]

[phone alert]

It's Carl.

I'm sorry about yesterday.

I was harsh.

I just worry about you.

You're eventually going to die anyway.

And anyone who ever had any recollection of you

will also die.

And at some point down the line, most of your genetic code

may not even be present in any living being.

And the human race may perish altogether.

And the Earth's very makeup may disperse into the galaxy.

And your life, nor anyone in human history's life,

will have had any point at all.

So yeah.

Just do whatever you want.

Call me back.

I could eat.

You know?

Just call me for food or whatever.

Bye.

This is Carl.

Bye.

[dramatic drone sounds]

[intense electronic music playing]

I can see you.

No, you can't.

I mean, I know that you're there.

I don't believe you.

What are you doing?

Sitting behind a tree.

No.

All of this-- why are you doing it?

What do you care?

Can you please come out from behind the tree?

I would rather not.

OK.

I'm going to sit down then, all right?

All right.

You won't find what you're searching for here.

Why were you in front of my house last night?

I think you know the answer to that.

I think you have serious problems

with your digestive tract.

You may be right.

You should really see a doctor.

I don't trust doctors.

Why not?

They don't know anything.

They're all smoke and mirrors, and chanting, and theatrics.

That doesn't seem like an accurate depiction.

No one ever really gets healed.

And those tents are too hot.

What you're describing is not a doctor.

Don't patronize me.

Every day you live is a smaller percentage

of your total experience.

How can you even be sure this moment is

relative to your path?

Wait.

But isn't my path always where I am regardless of its relevancy

to itself?

No.

That doesn't make any sense.

Are these really the kinds of things

you want to be a concerning yourself with?

I want the truth.

You are very inefficient with your time.

I have doubts that you even properly understand it.

The inefficiency of my time or time itself?

Some day, you will age to a point in which

no one will listen to you.

Your presence in a room will go unnoticed,

your opinions discarded.

It's already happened.

Our mattresses don't have bugs.

I know.

But your migrant worker doesn't.

He's not too bright.

I think he's smarter than he lets on.

I think you are a poor judge of character.

I think my friends and family are beginning to resent me.

Your main issue is performance.

Performance?

You are a bad actor.

And you have too much on your mind.

I'm not acting.

We're all acting.

It's just some of us are better at faking it than others.

How do you think that my level of awareness

will improve my presence?

Poorly probably.

It all depends on your perception.

This feels thematic.

Your relationships appear to be nothing more

than a complex mockery in tangibility.

Which-- which relationships?

All of them, David.

Everything in your--

David?

--life is real.

Wait.

How do you know so much about me?

I've been watching you.

You've been stalking me.

For how long?

You and your wife have not been getting along recently.

She seems to have more in common with your friend

next door as of late.

Wait, what are you--

what are you saying?

[rubber stretching]

Is-- is my wife cheating on me?

You need to get out of your own way--

[grunting]

--if you want to see what's coming next.

[intense music playing]

Oh, hello, David.

Did you have sex with my wife?

We've been through this--

you don't have a wife.

Come inside?

Who the fuck do you think drives the other car in my driveway?

Your sister?

That's my wife--

Jessica.

Oh.

What's her face is Jessica.

She told me she was your sister.

OK.

But did you have sex with her?

Yes, obviously.

But I--

[intense music playing]

Ow!

Fuck, man.

Come on, man.

Hey.

Dave, man.

I didn't even enjoy it.

It was terrible.

I promise.

I didn't mean it.

It was like fucking a dusty brick-- edges everywhere.

You know what?

Fuck you, man.

You guys are meant for each other.

Why is there so much blood?

[door shuts]

[intense music playing]

Take this back.

I don't need it anymore.

I don't want that.

There's no resale value on a broken heart.

It doesn't even work.

Honey?

What's the matter?

Please say something.

You're scaring me.

Did you know that Randy thought you were my sister?

[droning music playing]

What?

[coughing]

Honey, please come inside.

How is this working out?

Oh, Jesus.

Not as well as I'd hoped.

Good.

Dave, please.

[stuttering]

Dave, please.

How long have you been standing there?

How long have you been standing there?

I don't-- I don't know.

We have work to do, Dave.

What kind of work, Carl?

[sniffs]

[coughs]

You smell [stuttering] like an asshole.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

David.

[gasp]

I thought I'd lost you.

Sorry.

I drifted.

Where did you go?

It was just a daydream.

I don't think you understand.

You were not in this car.

What are you talking about?

This is going to be a much more [stuttering]

formidable task than I initially anticipated.

Look, I don't know enough about grammar

to pinpoint where you went wrong in your syntax.

But--

Syntax?

What the fuck do you know about syntax?

You're barely in most conversations you're a part of.

And now I feel you may be bleeding over.

Look.

I have been tirelessly working for months

to get inside of you.

And right now, I am out of ideas.

And I am out of options, to be quite frank.

I'm exhausted.

Have you tried roofies?

Of course not.

Are you giving me permission to roofie you?

No, that's not what I said.

Can I roofie you?

Why are we here?

OK.

Fair question.

Your interior is much, much more complicated

than I initially perceived.

And given your less than preferable degree

of discernment, your mind is like a big ball of dog fur--

--that I'm blindly trying to weave my way through.

Or better yet--

Why are we here, Carl?

Your mind is like a cobbles knot.

And I'm your maniac.

Hey, who are Billy and Jude?

Little kids who lived here before me I think.

And how long have you lived here?

About two years.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Life isn't always a contest, David,

but sometimes it's important to be on top.

I want to give you a bath.

I really don't think I need that right now.

But I need to isolate you.

[deep sigh]

[plastic bag crinkling]

How is this supposed to help exactly?

Just do your best.

Try to relax.

And--

Oh, put these in.

I need you to focus on nothing.

[underwater acoustics]

Infinite nothing.

Go to the back of your mind.

Focus on nothing-- infinite nothingness.

Let it all go.

Infinite nothing.

[droning sound]

[crickets chirping]

Not again.

[droning sound]

What are you doing with Sarah?

Where did you come from Mr?

Where am I?

You're never going back.

That's not going to happen.

Nothing really happens.

Well, some stuff does.

I don't think I'm supposed to be talking to you.

I don't thin I'm supposed to be here.

You shouldn't take things that aren't yours.

You shouldn't leave your things laying in the woods.

[Toy gun pop]

I need to go home.

Mom's going to be mad.

Which way is home?

[intense music playing]

I [inaudible] who I am.

What's happening?

I feel some else is talking [stuttering]..

Something is wrong with your face.

Nu-uh.

Your face is stupid.

He's right, David.

You do have a stupid face.

The fuck do you know about social norms?

I can only speak to what I see.

And what's that?

I see what you see.

You're looking at me.

Am I?

Yes.

You're mind wanders.

Therefore, I am.

Where did he go?

He went back.

Back where?

After he was here.

Stop with the abstract bullshit.

Just tell me as simply as you can what happened to him.

He's been filed away.

[stuttering]

Filed away where?

You tell me.

Where are we?

I've never even seen this place before.

This is inside.

Inside what?

This is nothing.

I'm inside.

You are simply here.

A place nonetheless

I've never been here.

It never appears that way.

Your feeling is the only constant.

You're not supposed to be here.

There you go.

Nobody is.

But how did you get in?

Cracks in your foundation.

Must not let him in.

Let who?

David.

David.

I need you to let me in.

I don't.

Yes, I am trying to help you.

[error alert]

Warning.

Warning.

Warning.

Please do not be alarmed.

You are in a self-contained safe mode.

No, no, no, no.

This isn't right at all.

Where are we even?

I don't really know exactly.

We need to go back to the woods.

We were very close in the woods.

I don't think that's such a good idea.

There's nothing here.

What were you expecting to find?

Woe.

Whoa?

This-- this is very discouraging.

This is safe.

Look, it is very essential to your readjustment

that we find the root of your disquiet.

God dammit.

Of all the things you could put me in, still with the dresses.

Am I seeing the dress or are you?

Of course I'm seeing the dress.

You see the dress.

I see the dress.

Everyone sees the dress.

You're still acting of your own free will.

Of course I am.

So what?

Is it fair to say all [stuttering] my own?

That was different.

And you have forcebale attempted overhaul [stuttering]

--mind control.

Is that different from-- how is that--

That was not my intention.

I [stuttering] this was a mistake.

David, I don't know if I can--

I don't know if I can fix this.

David, I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

[stuttering]

[error alert]

[droning sound]

Welcome to the party.

Please have a seat.

[heavy breathing]

Thank you.

Hey!

[droning music playing]

You think I'm playing?

This ain't a fucking game.

Where did you--

The fuck wrong with y'all?

How did you get in here?

The front door is wide open.

Oh.

And you came out the bathroom looking like that,

with your fucking dick out, a stupid ass look on your face.

I've been trying to wake up you zombie motherfuckers

for the last five minutes.

You put me in a coma In your mind.

I couldn't move.

I can't tell what's real anymore.

Hey, where's the bike?

What bike?

This asshole stole my little sister's bike.

She a fucking kid, man.

You sold me fake drugs.

I'm not a drug dealer.

Look, I'm at the bus stop.

This guy comes up, says his head is killing him,

wants me to hook him up.

I had some aspirin.

So I gave him a couple.

He gave me a dollar.

My mind.

I said my mind was killing me.

What did you think you were buying?

Xanax.

Why?

For $1?

Admittedly, I am not savvy to the exchange

rate of drug transactions.

But I'm crippled with anxiety over you.

And I can't come to terms with my own failure.

And I needed a break.

I been watching you, man.

You a fucking creep--

shitting in people's yard, wearing old lady's dresses.

Something is wrong with you.

What I do with my time is of no concern to you.

Man, I just want the fucking bike.

Fine.

I'll get the bike.

You got a lock for it?

Well, I didn't want it to get stolen.

Here.

Piece of shit.

Thanks for the hospitality.

How long have you been sleeping in the store?

I think I broke you.

I think I've been broken.

No, no.

I've done things I shouldn't have.

I've been a passenger to my life.

Things happen.

I-- I let things happen.

Last night, I went into the future.

It may have been a dream.

But it's hard to tell.

Robots were everywhere-- not a human in sight.

I ran for shelter, eventually finding

a small shop that I entered.

The elderly man behind the counter

said it had been this way for years.

His concept of years seemed debatable to me.

But I digress.

The robot factories had become automated

with improved AI for mass production.

The old man behind the counter--

he spoke of the old times.

His eyes lit up.

Boys and men dancing hand in hand as one.

Laughing and touching.

He longed for a return of his youth.

I didn't care much for his demeanor.

So I ignored him mostly.

But one thing he said did stick.

The robots' reign could not last for one simple reason--

they are incapable of recognizing context.

You mean situational context?

Exactly.

There were three major companies producing robots.

They all spoke the same language,

but processed the return data differently.

Two robots communicating would always just

turn into an endless cycle of processing redundant data,

eventually shorting out.

What the fuck does Stephen Hawking know?

I don't think you have a clear understanding

of artificial intelligence.

This isn't about AI.

We all have faults, David.

And we will thrive because of our ability

to distinguish and adapt.

I attempted to fix you because I felt we weren't the same,

but was totally ignorant to my own ignorance.

[phone alert]

We need to go back in.

I mean inside of you.

Nope.

We definitely don't.

I may have done measurable damage.

I don't think that you did anything

that I can't handle myself.

This wasn't the first time, David.

What do you mean?

[sigh]

Welcome back to Taking Control.

We have now entered the final phase--

conscious dream persuasion.

We'll cut right to the chase.

Phase 4 is only to be considered as an emergency solution

if all other options have proven unsuccessful

and seeing as how-- let's assume you've done a poor job

at following the simple directions laid--

this technique will require you to manipulate

your conscious subject's awareness of reality.

Through this, you will induce a feeling of safety

and healing-- a simulated collaborative maintenance

exercise.

If done correctly, this exercise could act as a system reset,

so to speak--

hopefully returning your subject to their previous, still-flawed

state.

It's important to acknowledge your failure.

Because you have in all likelihood,

destroyed the life of someone you hold dear.

As we conclude our session, let me once again state that we

at the Research Science Institute cannot be held liable

to the-- is is probably in your best interest to dispose

of this tape appropriately and attempt to move forward with

your life.

It's been a pleasure-- thank you for assisting

in the funding for Advanced Dream Studies.

Good night.

[coughing]

How are you feeling?

What happened?

Projecting dreams is a shared experience.

Achieving this was no walk in the park.

What is this?

This would be best described as your control center.

I was immensely worried that I wouldn't make it back in here.

But we got back in.

I don't like this.

What do you mean?

I mean it's not exactly what I expected.

We imagine things we can't see in order

for it to make sense to us.

In order to rationalize something, we make it tangible.

It doesn't explain why we're in a public bathroom.

Your brain manifests a room full of toilets

because I'm guessing this is where

you feel the most in control.

So if nothing is real, then how can anything be fixed?

The only thing here controlled by your imagination

is the visual representation of the space.

Despite its appearance, real work is done here.

Then where do we start?

The last time I was in here.

I was somewhere around here before I was pulled out.

This.

This.

This is it.

I may have bumped it or something on the way out.

Is that tape?

There.

Who would have known it would have been that easy.

So were you pissing directly into my consciousness?

Let's take things one step at a time.

OK?

Something is off here--

or not so off.

The feeling of normalcy is a relatively new thing to you.

You've been out of sync for a very long time.

No.

That's not it.

I'm not asleep am I, Carl?

David, you're starting to panic.

You've been through a lot of emotional stress lately.

We're at the ballpark.

Why did you bring me here?

This is not what I wanted to happen.

[grunt]

We're going to have to talk about this.

[sigh]

I know.

[gasping]

[fan blowing]

Why?

Things got carried away.

Take off the mask.

I don't want to.

It was only supposed to happen the one time.

I just needed to know that it worked

before I asked you willingly.

You would have thought I was crazy.

How many times, Carl?

I've lost count.

Maybe-- maybe eight times this week.

Two times today.

But that wasn't intended.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Are you kidd-- you could have killed me.

And then what?

You have to understand, I was only trying to help you.

Help me?

How the fuck is that supposed to help me?

I realize now it was a terrible mistake.

Singular?

The first time I whizzed in your head, what I saw

was terrifying.

Nothing made any sense to me.

And I was so worried about you getting worse.

And then you feel in your neighbor's pool.

Actually, that happened a few times.

You were in my house?

I sat on your couch while you slept in your bed.

[grunting]

The tranquilizer was just to get you to a deeper level.

[unzips mask]

You're fucking insane.

You haven't even--

Just let me finish.

Just let me finish.

As I continued to explore your mind,

I became very determined to fix all your disconnect.

But every time, I got more and more lost.

It wasn't until you came here and let me

in that I realized the toll that I had taken on your mind.

And then I realized something that I never considered before.

Get to the fucking point, Carl.

My conscious mind while inside of your unconscious

was unable to make any sense of anything.

It was impossible because the two of them

work on very different levels.

There was never anything wrong with you, David.

Of course there is.

My fucking wife is sleeping with the neighbor

because I'm not a real person--

I mean, not one that does anything

of any importance at least.

I mean, Jesus, Carl.

I can't even get the fuck out of my own head.

Jess is cheating on you?

You're the one who told me--

by the tree.

No, no, no.

No, no.

You misunderstood.

I was merely trying to draw a connection

between your relationships with them and how they perceive you.

I never alluded to any affair.

Shit.

I've done something terrible.

Fuck you, Carl.

You want a ride home?

[phone ringing]

Where have you been?

I've been so worried about you.

Honey, I am so sorry.

I feel terrible about earlier.

I just-- I wish I could go back and--

What are you talking about?

In the kitchen when I came home.

The kitchen?

You got out of the car and stood in the front yard

staring at Randy.

That doesn't make any sense.

Then Carl showed up and you just left.

Is everything all right?

You're acting strange.

Look, I honestly don't know anymore.

We haven't been on the same page in a long time.

I just-- I want to feel something.

Will you just come home?

[sigh]

How much work went into all of this?

Not as much as you'd think.

For such an elaborate set up, it seems very poorly planned.

In hindsight, you might be on to something.

It just seems so unnecessarily complex.

[sigh]

I think you just--

you fail to see how much I care about you, Dave.

Then why didn't you just talk to me?

That never crossed my mind.

So why were we at the ball park?

I needed you to believe that I'd fixed you.

It was selfish.

But everything I'd done up to that point would have been in--

it would've been in vain unless you knew.

Thought.

What?

Nothing.

I was trying to strengthen our relationship.

You know, I don't lack empathy.

You see things from such a skewed perspective

that I think it makes it impossible

for you to identify with anybody on just

a very basic social level.

Just like Kevin Sorbo.

Like that.

Stop bringing up Kevin Sorbo.

I have no idea what the hell you are saying right now.

Yeah.

I know.

OK.

Not having an opinion on something

is totally different than completely lacking.

You mistake my contemplation for disengagement.

We all communicate.

We just-- we just do it differently.

Just because I don't function on the same wavelength

as you, where old dudes fuck kids in the robopocalypse

or whatever, it doesn't make any of us broken.

I'm bad at being a good person.

When you and Jess got married, I thought

I was gaining more than just a brother.

You're my best friend, David.

I just don't know what the fuck that is.

Carl, you have good intentions.

But god, there is something wrong with you.

I know.

And I don't know if that can be fixed.

[sigh]

Do you wad or do you fold?

What?

When you wipe.

I don't know, Carl.

I never th--

Try--

I guess I wad.

It seems faster.

Try folding.

Look, Carl, I don't know if this is really going to--

Just try it.

Trust me.

OK.

Goodbye, David.

Look, Carl, what I said earlier, I didn't mean to--

Shut the door, David.

All right.

[phone ringing]

What is it, Carl?

Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?

No.

Are you sure?

Yeah, Carl.

I'm sure.

Very well.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[soft music playing]

[footsteps]

[bird calling]

[groans]

[laughter]

[static]

[music playing]

[clapping]

Woo!

[CAPTIONS BY CARL]