Original subtitles

There's no drinking in here.

I've spoke to you about this before, haven't I?

I don't believe so.

You behaved yourself.

I'll put you out of here without a second thought.

I suppose

you're wondering how it is that I ain't drinking when it would appear otherwise.

Oh, cats have got each tongue.

Speaking of cats, which you wasn't, but I

was, I got a cat as big as a wheel of cheese.

This 20-pound cat could kill five full-grown

rats in a grain barrel in 60 seconds flat.

You believe that?

I do.

Ain't you and I a pair of old French whores, though?

Yes.

Are you my grandfather?

Be you, Austin.

Yes.

I'm your grandfather.

Your train was ahead of schedule.

My books are in the heavy... Just get in the truck.

Am I a French whore?

What is a French whore?

I'll tell you when you turn 21.

Who lives there?

You.

I mean, this old bastard in Kingdom County.

Yeah, that's who.

I remember it, you heard it first from me.

Grandpa!

I've got work to do.

Hello.

My God, aren't you the spitting image of the doomed young pharaoh King Tutankhamun?

Thanks?

Thanks.

Welcome, Toot.

Welcome home.

This is the living room.

We call it Nova Scotia.

Damn clusterflies.

They're on the prowl.

It's early, too.

This water is in the pantry.

You'll do your part.

It's us.

Or them.

Link Skittridge...

spends most of his days right there now.

Grandma?

Nice sphinx.

Great sphinx.

From the ancient...

Greek.

Sphingo.

The squeeze.

Lord Ra.

The sun god.

He knew the score.

You found King Toot.

Spitting image, too.

If there's serious business on tap, I, you, and he will discuss it together.

We'll sit here in Egypt.

All right.

Shouldn't we call Dad?

I told him you're here.

Give him a couple of days.

Come help me finish supper.

Perhaps Mr. Kittridge can put the newspaper down.

Might occur to him not to set a bad example for a boy.

Austin asked your grandma if she'd pass the butter, if it's not too much trouble.

Ask him not to call me grandma.

I'm a mother.

And a grandmother.

You're welcome, Mr. Kittridge.

Come, Toot.

Let's settle into your room.

This is where you'll stay.

Close enough to the kitchen that you won't get lost.

If I wasn't here, would you and Grandpa even talk to each other?

No.

I'm going to bed.

One of these days, this ticker's going to give out on a dime I'm going in a pine box.

Don't be surprised.

I like basswoods, Austin.

Every day of the week.

But I hate the gray birch.

They're good for absolutely nothing, and I wish every one of them were up Mike's ass.

Who's Mike?

He's standing for everybody gets on my wick.

Where are we going?

Well, it's not important where we're going.

What's important is where we are.

And we are in Idaho.

The best stand of woods in all of Kingdom County.

Why do you call this Idaho?

I used to travel.

Mrs. Kittridge put a stop to all that.

Now the only time I get to travel is coming up here to Idaho.

Well, there it is.

Labrador.

What do you think?

One day we're going to see to it that you get to shoot one of your own.

And I'll put it up right here with the rest.

Would you like that?

Yes, sir.

Your dad hadn't been up here to hunt with me in 20 years.

He'd rather hold up in some dusty school.

Schoolhouse teaching a bunch of mama's boys how to cipher.

Is it okay that my dad comes up to get me?

I came here alone on the train and I can go back the same way.

Come over here.

I want to show you something.

See this map?

I marked the spots where your dad and I bagged our deer.

You mean some of those heads are his?

Two of them.

Play your cards right.

The year you turn 18, I'll take you up here for a summer fishing.

Now, we're going into the woods to teach you how to handle a rifle.

I don't know, Gramp.

Maybe another day.

Button your coat.

We are going.

No.

Who lives there?

The meanest old bastard in Kingdom County.

Man, you remember.

You heard it first from me.

The Ba Toot.

That part of your soul that makes you who you are and lives on after you're gone.

Can I call Dad?

It's been three days.

Please.

After we do chores.

Bless you.

Not yet.

There's more?

You've got to clean their pens.

No, Grandma.

He has toot.

I'll set aside a portion of my weekly egg money to pay for your college education.

Scoop the new from under the roost and take it to the compost bar.

We'll have the best tomatoes in the county come July.

There you go.

Hello?

Dad?

Yeah, yeah, it's me.

Hey, I just wanted to know if you got my letters.

Yes.

Grandma's taking me to church on Sunday while Grandpa goes fishing.

And she'll say she'll make me a birthday cake.

Hey, look.

You're still coming up, right?

When?

No, no.

It's just that Grandpa's making me scoop up chicken dough.

And Grandpa says he's going to drop dead any minute.

And I want to go home.

Dad, there's interest in my latest story.

An editor from the Saturday Evening Post took me to the 21 Club for oysters.

Who carved the bird?

Daddy, I haven't told you yet.

I was cast in an off-Broadway play.

Tell your mother.

I'll have the leg.

Raise a couple of daughters in the woods of Vermont

and they both end up with their heads in the clouds.

Lay off, old man.

Remind your grandfather he's got three daughters.

I don't need to be reminded.

The FBI stops by to refresh my memory on a regular basis.

Elizabeth is no more a bank robber than I am Marie Antoinette.

Cleopatra, tell them about your part.

Um, I'm playing the lead, Dorothy, in Tennessee

Williams' The Case of the Crushed Petunias.

Well, I got a crushed waterwheel.

It's raising hell with my sawmill.

I, uh...

electric power or a son who could, uh, manage

a few hand tools, I might stand a chance.

Red Sox spring training starts soon.

Want to pass a turkey down here?

Some men in this family work for a living.

Don't have time to stand jabbering.

Rob works.

No.

School teachers wouldn't know what it was like to put in a full day's work.

Don't incite trouble.

Oh, absolutely.

Is she coming back?

No.

Mr. Kittredge, your son is not just a school teacher.

He's an assistant headmaster at a very respectable Massachusetts school.

Saying a headmaster isn't a school teacher is like saying that a trout isn't a fish.

Most peculiar man I've ever met.

This coming from a woman.

Who collects ancient Egyptian toenail clippers.

Austin, can you say grace, please?

Go ahead, dude.

Our father...

Our father blesses food for our use and us to thy service.

Amen.

Amen.

And I hope Dad and Grandpa like each other.

Jesus.

Did she put you up to saying that?

That was a wonderful grace.

Just right.

Roaring Jesus Christ.

Let your brother stand up for himself.

Now even you must be satisfied, Mr. Kittredge.

Next time you hear from me, I'll be in Labrador.

The boy's birthday.

Brought you some food.

Have they been talking about me down there?

Hashing over my shortcomings?

After you left, everyone vanished but Cleopatra.

I should probably go.

Dad and Nefertiti are going to read stories.

If they're not all out of here by noon chores, I'm going

to read them something and it's not going to be a story.

Well, we'll probably be out of here.

Dad wants to get home before dark.

After breakfast, I was going to open some birthday presents.

I never exchanged presents with anyone in my life.

You believe that?

I do.

I got to go, Grandpa.

Maybe we can go hunting someday.

Austin.

Up here.

I got to do chores.

No, come up here.

You've got to tell Mom.

Why?

These are family secrets.

Family secrets?

Go ahead.

You want to share Mom's story with the world.

Okay.

Your grandmother and her sister Elizabeth landed

in Cape Breton when they were real little.

They took on all sorts of horrible farming and

factory jobs even though they were still girls.

And this ship that they came over on was an Egyptian ship.

Did they have parents?

Oh, their parents have died.

Here, listen.

Two orphaned sisters, six-year-old Abia and eight-year-old Elizabeth, slept in the

cramped and airless bowels of the ocean-going freighter.

Side by side next to hundreds of contorted and mangled

mummies dug up from ancient Egyptian burial grounds.

The mummies were now being used to stoke the fires and power the ship.

Please, keep him here.

What's going on?

I lost my job.

I need time.

I don't want him to see me like this.

I've got to prune these apple trees.

I sit out here sometimes and all in spring.

Sometimes I hear wild geese that have lost their mates.

They circle at night, calling, not even aware of what's missing.

Just that it's mist.

You like fairs?

Yes.

Well, if we make it to May and you work real hard and generally pan out,

I'll stick you two a day at the Maple Festival.

Would you like that?

I'd like that.

You're hired.

As you know, I dislike schoolteachers in general.

They're in our own family in particular.

Now I want you to prove me wrong.

Go out there and get yourself an education.

That never stands in the way of your actually doing real work.

I'll try, Grandpa.

Oh sigh, not so, for it sounds of Eve's sweet pippin.

By these loosened lips you have tasted the pips and fought in an amorous nipping.

Who are you?

I'm new.

Austin Kittredge.

Is mean old Austin Kittredge your father?

My grandfather.

And he's not that mean.

I'd like to take your word for it, but really, he's mean.

Where's the teacher?

Hetty Hill nailed her into the privy.

Who's Hetty Hill?

She's in her third year of seventh grade, and she's not happy about it.

So the teacher's in the privy?

Since yesterday lunch recess.

It's me, Mrs. Armstrong.

Teresa Dubois.

Go to my Ford.

Get the tire iron off the front seat.

I'll make a run for it.

It's either you or me.

It's me, Hetty Hill.

I'll be damned if I set foot in that

classroom if you're within three miles of it.

Austin.

Do you know about the Volga River?

Yeah, what?

We have a geography bee coming up.

My sock's itch.

And, well, we kinda need you on our team.

Wanna ride?

I guess.

Austin!

Get back up here!

They're living in that old Tatro tractor shed.

There used to be a cabin.

Now that's gone.

How do you know them?

I don't.

I just see them around.

Bumper Stevens owns that shack.

Tell your grandfather Bumper Stevens is a crook.

The Tatro place.

A hovel.

Unfit for human habitation.

But they'll pay him every nickel they have.

Nobody making much profit off that tractor shed.

Bumper Stevens is.

They're probably starving to death eating potatoes.

Toot, tell him.

You wanna ask Adelaide Stevenson what she proposes to do about it?

If they starve, so be it.

What do you mean?

If I run across a dying animal in the woods...

I don't prolong its suffering.

I wouldn't prolong theirs.

Why do you get nasty whenever we talk about Teresa's family?

Because I know these people.

I see them everywhere.

Every dumb Frenchman's joke is about exactly them.

Teresa's French?

Of course.

To us.

She may not have an accent, but both her parents do.

Is that why you hate Grandma?

Is she French?

Get the rifle.

We're going into the woods.

What I'm gonna tell you...

is just between you and me.

There was a girl.

She was the daughter of a blue-eyed Inuit chief.

In Labrador.

Do you have a photo?

Let me do the talking, okay?

When I first met her... she was probably a couple years younger than me.

Maybe 19.

I could never get my tongue around her name in Inuit.

But it meant mirage.

So I called her Mira.

There were things between us that...

only happened once in a lifetime.

We'd track up rivers some days.

Snowshoe a trap line.

Go for hours without ever speaking a word.

And it didn't matter.

We never married.

But between she and I... we always felt we were man and wife.

I understand.

Well, then you won't be surprised.

Come winter, she was pregnant.

And that was fine with us.

And then in the summer... when it came time for her to have the baby...

things went wrong.

The baby died.

And the next day...

she died.

I looked down at her.

And then she said the word that...

she had taken to calling me.

And she was gone.

Quick.

Before I knew what happened.

It was a boy-baby.

Mostyn.

A boy.

I buried him together.

Got in a canoe.

Came back down to Vermont.

A few months later... I married your grandmother.

And does grandma know about all this?

Until now... she's the only other person... I ever told the story to.

And she wasn't mad?

She was angry about everything I did.

Before and after.

But I can tell you one thing about...

your grandmother and me.

She will never be... Mira.

And I'll never be the fella...

that she wanted to spend her life with.

But we've abided each other.

We don't agree on much.

But we've lasted 50 years.

But one thing.

Not a word... to your father or the girls.

Okay.

Okay.

Here.

Gramp.

Gramp, what was the name that...

Mira gave you?

The one she called you...

right before she went?

She called me...

the fella who never smiles...

except...

when he looks at me.

$42,000.

She robbed the bank, Austin.

Listen, Liz Kittredge, your aunt.

I was five years old.

I don't know.

Well, everybody else does.

The money's buried.

Are you sure?

Let's close our eyes and picture where it might be.

We'll be late for school.

Don't chase the subject.

I haven't had a soda pop in two months.

Grandpa!

Wait!

I'm told that Austin Kittredge fancies himself as an expert reader.

Theresa Dubois, what is the expert reader up to?

Come report to me now.

See, what's that?

I don't know.

Find out.

Austin, you almost know.

What's your book about?

Fishing.

What are you doing here?

Just remembering you locked in that privy, whiffing all that's piled up in there.

You want another go-around?

I'll give you a run for your money.

Better run fast, too, because I got the keys to your jalopy.

Eyes in your book, girl.

We get the picture.

Now it's time to study our Latin.

I don't know much Latin.

Never had much call for it.

Mrs. Armstrong doesn't know her Latin.

She got a mind for discipline.

You gotta give her that.

It's like a war.

For once it looks like school is preparing you for life.

Life of opposing tyranny, I'd say.

Which is worth learning, but only if you can prevail.

Winning is altered.

What do you mean by that, Graham?

A teacher with no Latin toot is like a blind man flying an airplane.

He might land it, but it'll be dumb luck, and you won't know how it happened.

From now on, I'll work you on your Cicero.

And Mr. Kittredge can, uh, reveal what he knows.

Graham knows plenty.

He taught me about maps, trees, animals, guns, and the history of whiskey smuggling.

Oh, God help us.

I'll set you straight on Shakespeare.

The Bible.

Horticulture.

And insects.

Beginning with the damn clusterflies who take so much delight in vexing me.

Your grandfather and I will get you through the year.

Then, your father can take it from there in June.

Dad's not coming till June?

If at all.

I don't expect him to show his face here any more than a man in the moon.

Or Napoleon at Waterloo.

Napoleon showed up just in time to get his final comma pants.

Mr. Kittredge, take notice.

Bull and jam.

Grandpa told me about Mira.

Wind the clocks.

Graham, are you mad about Mira?

Your grandfather tells a good story.

His story.

But I'm here too.

Didn't it happen before you were married?

Are you proposing we discuss the nature of time?

How

long does love last?

What will a woman or man do?

Two.

For love.

He didn't tell me that.

Ask him.

T.S.

Eliot can set you straight on your quandary about time.

How?

If all time is eternally present, all time is unredeemable.

You can't go back.

But time past is always present.

Sounds like a riddle.

Think about it.

Sap flows when daytime temperatures shoot above freezing and nighttime gets cold.

The sap rises up from the roots.

Mr. Kittredge works the northern slope.

We'll see who wins the Maple Festival.

You compete?

To win is all to it.

Drill two more holes.

Tell Mrs. Kittredge that if she has a

full-time assistant, I don't stand a chance.

I say call a contest off.

I can help you too, grub.

As long as I'm not going to school.

Help him till the horse comes home on roller skates.

I will not tolerate your grandfather trying to

wiggle out a little even-handed competition.

I got better things to do than to count my blue ribbons.

And no snow is going to be a bad sugar season.

But petition she wants, then that's what you get.

Let's try this one.

You know, the Maple Contest doesn't really mean anything to me.

Here.

Now move over just to the left two taps per tree.

So that way, streamlined the stage.

Brahms says winning is everything.

Ah.

That's why we are going to work our butts off.

To get this year's prize.

That's good.

You gave Theresa's family a cow.

Theresa doesn't have much family, Austin.

Her father died.

Mother talks a mile a minute.

I don't think I even got a word.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because we've got plenty of cows.

One less, I have to wrangle every day.

Me and this old bastard in Kingdom County, how are they going to feed it?

They can't.

I left them off some hay.

But come next spring, they're on their own.

Did Aunt Liz rob the bank?

If she didn't, she sure as hell should have.

Now that's good.

Not quite.

What are you looking for?

Light color and taste.

Extra fancy is what we call it.

Right off the top in the first run.

Shallow sap.

Hot fire.

Thin... Tin pans.

Will I judge?

You ought to be a...

you watch.

Your work on the farm...

has been better than average.

And here's your pay.

Ten dollars.

And you can...

save it, or you can...

binge out at the festival like some drunk at a lumberjack.

I don't care which.

Thanks, Grandpa.

You earned it.

Hey, Austin.

Aren't you ever coming back to school?

No.

I don't think so.

Take back what I said about your grandpa.

He's not really that bad.

Except Bumper Stevens took your cow for back rent.

What do you do for milk?

Did you find the bank money?

I've been walking around, looking.

I don't know where to start.

I don't know where to start.

Come on.

Something's stealing eggs from the coop.

What about the hens?

Did you count them?

No, Grandma.

Which one of these does your grandfather use for birds?

You don't even like guns.

No, I don't.

Do you know how to operate this weapon?

Tell me.

How does it fire?

It's a big gun, Grandma.

Show me.

Well, you look down the center.

Then you pull this trigger for this barrel.

And this trigger for this barrel.

Now run inside and get us some warm wraps.

You and your grandmother have a job to do.

Moving out?

No.

Grandma and I are sleeping in the hen house.

Both moving out.

I'm shooting the first thing I see.

How do you know which animal did it?

We don't.

Could be a weasel, mountain cat, coyote, raccoon, mink, skunk, possum, squirrel.

Chickens and eggs are tasty.

I'm hungry.

I think it's a snow wow.

Could be a bear.

A bear could fit in here.

These hands are your ticket to college.

We shoot to kill.

I loathe serpents of any stripe.

Grandma, no, no, no.

It's a snake.

They eat rats.

Look me in the eye, Satan.

Help your grandmother up.

We finished him, Toot.

He's not gonna be killing any more chickens and keeping boys away from college.

You're not afraid of anything, Grandma.

I was terrified after death.

Toot, being brave has nothing to do with being unafraid.

Never forget it.

You go dispose of the beast.

So, Grim and the snake were looking at each other for a long time.

I imagine they did.

Tell Mr. Kittredge if any more vipers come sashaying down here from up on his hill,

their sashaying days will end on the spot.

He may inform them I said so.

Why doesn't she inform them herself?

That way they know she meant it.

By the way, tell your grandmother the men

from the electric company will be here Monday.

Check the lay of the land for the power wires.

Power wires?

To what?

From what?

Through what?

From the power poles they'll dig into the ground.

Run a line, same as always, along the road.

Through my orchard?

They'll have to get to the house.

They'll run a line to the house and one to my sawmill.

Who the hell's idea is this?

Everybody in Kingdom County is tying into the power grid.

And that includes us.

Precisely my point.

What point is that, Gram?

Well, just so that I can translate it.

No translation is needed.

Ask Mrs. Kittredge how her ancient comrades managed to

build monuments to themselves underground with no light.

Same way we have, Toot.

Oil lamps.

Well, we're tying into the power grid.

That's the beginning and the end of it.

They'll be here day after tomorrow.

Come in, Toot.

Gram, we have plenty of electricity in Deerfield.

It's pretty good.

If you get started on television, you'll be banished from this house.

I've seen television.

What have you seen on television, Toot?

Howdy Doody.

Who's he?

He's a cowboy with freckles, and he's two feet tall.

Pretty short.

And then there's Flub-a-dub, and she's half duck, half giraffe.

Come with me.

I refuse to be wired to electricity or anything else.

Did Egyptian kids have fun?

Of course.

They played leapfrog.

That's all?

I'm agitated tonight.

I can see that.

Why are you so keen on Egypt?

Nefertiti said you came over in a boat that chucked flaming mummies into a boiler.

So it's common knowledge now.

Did you ever have nightmares?

Of course I do.

Everyone does.

I would have been scared for life.

Those mummies...

couldn't be destroyed.

People did the worst to them.

Yanking them from the ground.

Using them to stoke coal.

But something of them remained.

And it endures still.

You were an orphan.

Many people are.

Don't dwell on it.

Goodnight, Toots.

The sheriff is coming.

He's here now.

That's all?

What are you keeping that trunk for, Paul?

Describe it.

It's Pastor Kittredge.

He's out.

Also the sheriff.

And the undertaker.

Afternoon, cousin.

I have been charged with delivering you this

summons to appear in court tomorrow at 10 a.m.

for a civil proceeding in the case of Kittredge vs.

Kittredge.

It ain't nothing personal.

Neither is this.

I could go for a number 10 can of peaches.

So, you're not going to court tomorrow?

No, we're all going to court tomorrow.

It's one thing to blow up a two-bit sheriff.

It's a whole other thing for a man to turn down a summons.

You don't do it.

Tell your grandmother that I'll be gone about five after nine.

Kittredge vs.

Kittredge.

Could be interesting.

The bench.

What kind of wood's it made out of?

Uh, rock maple.

Floor?

White pine.

All rise.

Superior Court of Kingdom County is now in session.

Judge Forrest Allen presiding in the case of Kittredge vs.

Kittredge.

Sit down, folks.

We'll dispense with the formalities.

After all, we're friends.

The plaintiff, Mrs. Abea Kittredge, requests a permanent injunction to prevent

the defendant, Austin Kittredge, from

contracting electrical services to their farm.

Uh, yes, Your Honor.

Electrical service poses a threat to the family's safety and property.

And the lines run through Mrs. Kittredge's apple orchard.

How many apple trees do you have, Abea?

Twenty-two.

Here's the list.

Timofsky, Famous, Smokehouse.

Haven't encountered these beauties in years.

So, Abea, laying the power lines would destroy your old apple trees.

I wouldn't be here otherwise.

Plus, too many farmhouses in Vermont have caught fire from bad wiring.

And I don't intend to burn to a crisp while asleep on my bed.

Not to mention the cost, which we can't afford.

Nor would I condone the invasion of a television set

in our home, which would turn my grandson into a slug.

So, is it the case, Austin, that you intend to uproot your wife's apple trees?

I intend to conduct my dairy and sawmill operations without interruption.

I'm not a rich man.

But I need electricity like every other farm in this county.

What about your wife's claim?

Would your power lines destroy her?

I suspect it will.

A few of them.

What of it?

Those trees are gone by.

Mrs. Kittredge knows that.

Good for a little cider, maybe.

But that's it.

Why should her apples be more important than the sawmill?

I didn't say they were.

Or, for that matter, that they weren't.

Are you going to permit him to decimate my apple orchard and burn me alive?

Austin.

I'm going to give you and Mabir a written ruling on Thursday.

But I won't make you wait.

Austin can have electricity in his sawmill and

barn if he lays the electric lines underground.

Or in any way that preserves Mabir's orchard and garden.

But only if he can accomplish that.

But what about my raspberry bushes?

They're pretty much everywhere.

You may lose a few bushes.

But if he can do as I say, Austin can bring the electricity in.

How long do you plan to give Mr. Kittredge a blank check?

And how the hell will he pay for it?

Once you lay the lines, the power's there.

How you pay is for you and Mr. Kittredge to determine.

But I will rule.

That the juice cannot be strung into the house.

Says who?

I've decided in your favor, Mabir.

If you don't want it, you get your say-so.

Rest assured, Judge Allen.

If I want electric in my house, I'll get it.

If I don't, I won't.

Good day.

We'll see.

You can't predict the future, Toot.

But times are changing.

We can count on that.

Are you happy, Gran?

Happy.

And you're gonna keep the cluster flags at bay?

Yes, ma'am.

President?

Who's this?

Uh, Austin Kittredge II.

Hello, Austin Kittredge II.

This is Liz Kittredge James I.

I've heard about you.

I'm sure you have.

I seem to be the only accused bank robber in town.

Can you drive?

So, why did you leave town?

I mean, except for being wanted for bank robbery, that is.

Nobody ever pinned a thing on me.

I will show you my gun later, son.

Keep your eyes on the road.

I know the story.

Do you really?

Tell me.

May 3rd, 1952.

A single max bandit, around noon, and about your size,

carrying a pearl-pandaled revolver, held up a bank.

I declare.

Word is, you got away scot-free with more than $42,000.

What did I do with the loot?

Buried it.

Where?

The farm.

Is it still there?

Foster James.

A man with a gorgeous glass eye and a nose for adventure.

The great-grandson of Jesse James.

The great-grandson of Jesse James?

He's your husband?

Ex-husband.

So, are we gonna ride the horse?

Maybe later.

I've been here before.

I call it Fort Kittredge.

I used to bring boyfriends up here after dark to scare them.

Come over here.

Now, sir, are you afraid of tight, dark places?

Yes.

Well, you've got to get over that fear.

Because one of us has to go down there, and it's not gonna be me.

What's down there?

God knows.

All right, down you go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

So, if I go and help you get this loot, could I go to jail?

Or will you cut me in on some of the money?

What money?

You mean I'm not going down that hole for money?

No, this is about an ex-husband.

Another ex-husband?

Well, we never did get divorced.

Legally speaking, if he's alive and I can find him, we're still yoked together.

Hartley Stone was his name.

Stone is what his heart was made of.

Off to the cat houses in Butte every time I turn my back.

I'm assuming a cat house isn't really what it sounds like.

I'm afraid they are.

Oh.

Wait.

Why am I going to this hole for your ex-husband?

Because I loved him.

Truly.

And he loved me.

Love conquers all.

And it forgives quite a lot along the way.

And look at your grandparents.

What on God's good earth keeps them together?

You called them together.

I wouldn't.

What happened?

Abia created Egypt and named her next two kids Nefertiti and Cleopatra.

Something happened.

Now get down there.

Dig around.

Sift through the rocks and dirt.

Tell me if you find anything.

Okay?

Did you paw through the rocks and dirt?

Did you find anything?

Not really.

Well, we can't haul up every teaspoon of dirt.

What am I looking for?

Anything that looks like it's worth digging for.

Okay?

Surprise me.

All right.

Liz?

Huh?

Liz!

What is it?

Yes, sir.

Did you find something?

Yeah.

Pull me up.

Is this what you were looking for?

That's my wedding ring from Hartley Stone.

It's perfect.

You're not coming into my house with a firearm, sweetie.

Well, how about I keep it till we're inside?

It's not a saloon.

Give me the gun.

Where did you get that ring?

I and Austin found it where I left it up before Kittredge.

Well, surely you don't intend to wear it.

I do.

I still love Hartley Stone.

He was a cheat and a drunk.

Your memory is too short.

Well, yours is too long.

Times change.

Yeah, times may.

People do not.

So what?

You too have loved, Mother.

Hey, don't drag me into that foxhole.

Whatever else may be said about your father, he's not a cheat.

No, Bill, he's not.

Give me my gun.

Oh, we got a visitor.

Mrs. Kittredge.

That'll do.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation.

I'd like to ask you a few questions, if I could.

I would be tickled.

What would you like to talk about?

Mainly bank robbery.

Well, that is no way to interest a lady.

I have a warrant to search your personal effects.

You don't say.

I need to do that now.

Austin, you watch after the horse.

I'll be right back.

There's sugar on snow, Austin.

My treat.

I'm not hungry.

Not hungry for sugar on snow?

I don't know what it is, but...

I always eat like a bird when I'm at festivals.

Type the horse.

She'll be fine.

I really can't.

But I wouldn't mind going to the barn dance later.

Um, I have some news for you.

Pretty big, too.

I'm not crazy about staying here.

Okay?

Believe me.

Meet me at the dance?

Sure.

You making out all right?

Just hanging around, waiting for Liz.

Watching her horse.

She's with the G-man.

Inside, we gotta go.

We got service to deliver.

Not now.

Really, Steven?

Now.

Now.

No, Grandpa.

No.

The answer is yes, Grandpa.

Come on.

Okay.

Make us a fast one.

Grandpa.

Bumper Stevens.

Austin?

You owe me a prime hosting.

I expect you to make it right.

Who's this you got with you?

Your attorney?

As much attorney as I'll ever need.

We'll pick the cow up in the morning.

Hey.

I'm not looking for trouble.

The family owed me rent.

I took the cow.

Wouldn't have made it another week.

Teat's all rotted.

Except it was mine.

On loan.

You old fool.

Work it out with him.

No, sir.

You work it out with me.

Give me that.

Up Mike's ass, I will.

I took your cow to the slaughterhouse Thursday.

Tough luck.

Now, I'm in that competition.

Give me that axe.

It's on loan.

To me.

Tough luck.

Over.

Who's money?

Maybe you'd like to give me some.

How about a ten spot?

Maybe twenty?

Or maybe you'd like to play me for it.

Go on, take a card.

Get out of here, Hetty.

Move along.

Maybe I'll take a look.

No!

You get out of here, or you're headed for trouble.

Take a card.

Fine.

I've got a ten in my pocket.

Go on.

Make it quick.

Shuffle into the deck.

Let me see the deck.

Four of diamonds.

Fine.

You win.

Here's your money.

See you later.

What's this?

Just a little game of chance.

You want to play?

No, ma'am.

Why don't you take that out back?

Show her your badge, honey.

No, no.

I ain't scared of you.

It's quiet out here.

Too quiet.

The 114th Annual Maple Syrup Prizes.

Now, I know Abia wasn't altogether pleased with the outcome of her court case.

J.W., don't patronize me.

Award me the blue ribbon I deserve.

I want to go home.

All right, Abia.

Second prize goes to...

Austin Kittredge.

No Austin.

I'll take it.

Okay.

This year's blue ribbon for maple syrup goes to Abia Kittredge.

12 blue ribbons in 14 years.

Oh, ladies.

Sample my... my angel fruitcake.

I thought you'd wait for the prizes.

You're still here.

Thought you'd be over the hills by now.

I should be.

I thought I'd buy my daddy a drink.

I won't be back.

I guess you won't.

I'm sad to see you go.

But... sort of glad in a way.

I...

I don't have the stomach for this.

You know, the statute of limitations...

doesn't run out on a federal fence.

I heard Agent Sanders tell you that...

while you were standing inches away from the $42,000.

Don't worry.

It's all in the clear.

But you better promise not to breathe a word to anybody.

To my death.

I will know.

Of course.

You are still an accomplice to a major bank robbery.

Thanks for that.

No.

I guess you'll be okay in Montana, then.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Wow!

You add that to a B as egg money.

Get a good education.

Austin's grandson, Austin.

I gotta go.

Will you be okay?

Yeah, go ahead.

Don't look back.

I won't be looking back either.

I'll do it.

Did you see your Tante Elisabeth off?

Theresa's gone.

I...

Her place is empty.

Why would they stay?

I saw her at the festival.

She didn't say a word about moving, and then...

I don't know where she went.

We'll see her again.

Do you think Liz will find Hartley?

Liz is who she is.

Times change.

My daughters never will.

For once, Mr. Kittredge, we agree.

Stop the presses.

When I was just...

18 years old, Toot, this man...

tipped his hat to me.

Or at least I think he did.

I was scratching my head, dammit.

I waited and waited...

and I finally wore him down.

And we've been wearing each other down ever since.

I pray you never know loneliness, Toot.

I've been lonely.

Yes.

You have.

So...

can we...

blameless... for going back to our first husband?

I'm gonna go read.

I need a shift.

Who lives here?

The meanest old bastard in Canaan County.

That's who.

That's right.

I remember you heard it first from me.

Oh, you two look like barn cats who just swallowed the canary.

We have a surprise for you, Mom.

I'm too old for surprises.

Not this one.

Well, what is it?

It's a vacuum cleaner.

There's no place to plug it in.

And there won't be as long as there's a breath in my body.

Fine.

We'll take it back.

But you haven't heard its main selling point.

Of course I have.

Everybody has.

Labor-saving device.

Goes anywhere.

Floats on air.

Perfect for the young housewife with more important

things to do, like getting her nails done and marketing.

I'm not a young housewife.

And I don't think about my nails.

No, I've worked hard all my life and...

I'm not about to stop now.

This vacuum can suck up more clusterflies in one minute than you can swat in a week.

All you have to do is point the nozzle, you turn on the

motor, and you suck the little customers into oblivion.

But you don't have any electricity anyway, so... No, no, no.

Tell me the part about...

Obliviating the clusterflies.

Tut!

Tut!

Go

call an ambulance.

Oh, it's early.

Phone the Tatro.

They'll come and get you.

No, I'm staying right here.

Do as I say.

I'm scared, Graham.

What did I tell you?

Being brave has nothing to do with being unafraid.

You're a brave boy.

Do you sleep in your hat?

What I do up here, and what I don't do, is my business.

I saw Graham.

She wants you to drive to the hospital and take her home.

Does she now?

I'm gonna tell Graham.

You've been sleeping in your hat.

Tell her why.

She's in here, Grandpa.

Austin.

How is she?

She's, uh...

She's old, Austin.

She's worn down, like the rest of us.

Only more so for...

having put up with a devil like you all these years.

She wants to go home.

It just didn't turn out to be quite the holidays you'd expected.

Yeah.

You spring her from there.

I can't guarantee that she's gonna live a week.

And if she stays?

I can't guarantee much either way.

You want to go home?

Can I get you something?

Gee, Mimi.

Uh... Little toast.

I'll do it.

I see it.

Lord Graham, what do you see?

Ah...

Ah... I see Egypt.

Ah...

Ah...

He wanted a full thing.

Graham's gone.

What do you expect me to do about it?

I can't bring her back.

Put yourself together, son.

She's gone.

I found the grave marker with Mira's name on it.

I've said what I had to say.

You bastard.

We're very sorry for your loss, folks.

Very sorry.

How's Mr. Kittredge taking it?

Fine.

Need to hear him?

He'll take it.

He'll have to be here for this.

We'll get him.

Girls...

Rob...

Usually the reading of the last will and testament occurs after the funeral.

In this case, the will stipulates conditions for the service.

Austin?

We just want to offer our condolences on... Get on with your business.

I don't have all morning.

I, Abeah Kittredge, being a sound mind, will all my property and assets to my

husband, Austin Gleason Kittredge, with the exception of my college fund for

my grandson and my collection of Egyptian memorabilia.

The disposal of my remains, as well as my Egyptian artifacts, shall be as stipulated

in a private letter to my husband to be found

in the top drawer of my work table in Egypt.

Austin, if I go before you, please carry out my instructions for burial.

I'm attaching plans for my sarcophagus.

What's it say?

This is private.

For my husband, across the top.

You read the will.

It's a private letter.

Clear out, both of you.

Service will be tomorrow, right here, Mrs. Kittredge's parlor, 11 o'clock sharp.

What about the cash register?

You can't... I'll handle it.

My greatest desire is to be returned to the earth with my most beloved items.

Do not mock this.

In death, there is recognition, dignity, and respect.

You know how I feel about you.

I don't ask for love, but acceptance.

So many years.

You surely understand me when I say I have looked forward to this.

The war is over.

It could not last forever.

From one eternity to another.

Abiyah.

Can I help you, Grandpa?

Come up here and say this.

I wish I had six more months so these boards could season.

All I'm able to do is to double-cleat it with these square nails all the way around.

If it warps, it warps.

She's gonna have to take her chances.

Go up in the woods and cut me a load of small cedar and balsam.

Do you want me to pick up any wildflowers?

No, just cut the brush.

Graham knew that you buried Mira up here, didn't she?

What was I supposed to do?

Was I ever gonna flood the whole valley in Labrador?

Your grandmother found out.

And there you have it.

Go cut the brush.

Do you need some help?

I do, son.

She'll be all right.

I double-cleated the lid.

That's okay.

I can do the rest.

Son, are you coming?

I'll be there.

Help me finish this up.

We got cars to milk.

Who lives here, old man?

Who lives here, Grandpa?

Just one of you, Grandpa.

Meanest old bastard in Cane Normal County.

That's who?

I heard it first from you.