Original subtitles

I grew up in a very special place.

Every December, our block was transformed into a Christmas wonderland.

And my parents started it all.

It's Christmas!

It's Christmas!

Mom!

Dad!

Wake up!

It's by myself.

Here I come!

Oh, I hope Santa came.

He came!

Merry Christmas, sweetie!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Can I open my presents?

Oh, not just now, honey.

We have to go.

We have a lot to do before the carnival this afternoon.

Yeah, but what about Christmas?

The Christmas carnival is Christmas, sweetie.

We have put so much work into it to make it special.

Yeah, but you've done so much already.

But we have to salt the sidewalk, light the lamps.

Check on the backup generator.

Good call.

Come on, sweetie.

Don't pout.

You know how important the carnival is.

It's our responsibility.

Our duty.

Yes, our duty to make it perfect.

Can I open at least one?

Of course.

Oh, I think I know just the one.

Here.

Open this one.

Wow!

A camera?

Maybe you'd like to take pictures of everyone at all the

events today to keep a record of how happy everyone is.

You'll be our official Christmas photographer.

Like for fun or for my duty?

There's no reason it can't be both, dear.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, honey.

Merry Christmas.

Let's go.

Okay.

Get bundled up, dear.

Come on, meet us outside.

My parents tried their very best to instill their Christmas spirit into me.

But when you're seven, you have other things on your mind.

Up on the housetop reindeer paws out jumps good old Santa

Claus You'll never guess what he brought me this year.

What?

I got the entire Frank Gehry Lego collection.

Who's Frank Gehry?

And he's only the greatest architect of the 20th century.

Well, that's cool.

What's wrong?

Didn't you get anything good for me?

Just this.

A Polaroid?

Cool.

Yeah, wanna test it?

That's so cool.

Yeah, except my parents are going to make me use it

to take pictures of everyone else at the carnival.

That sounds awesome.

Can I help?

Um, sure.

Can I have this?

Well, I guess.

Let's go.

I'll help you get people together and you can take the picture.

It'll be fun.

Thanks for there.

Every year I'm faced with the same question.

Is Christmas merely the longest to-do list of all time?

Or is all that work actually fun?

Maybe this year I'll find out.

Call out the holly Put up the tree before my spirit falls again Fill up the star

king Fill up the star king I may be rushing things But the deck of hoes again

now Oh, we need a little Christmas And right this very minute Candles in the

window Carols at the spinnet Yes, we need a little Christmas And right this

very minute Haven't snowed a single furry... We got guys coming left.

Coming left.

You gotta call them out, you guys.

Come on, they're breaking in.

Dan?

Left, you guys.

Dan, what are you doing here?

Um, I live here.

Oh, I thought you'd be at work.

No, I took a personal day.

Isn't this the busy season?

Yeah, that's why I get so stressed during the holidays.

Well, don't look, don't look.

Hold on, guys.

No, no, no, I said don't look.

That's like saying don't think of tigers.

I mean, the first thing you're gonna do is think of tigers.

Ugh, I wanted all this to be a surprise.

Wait, this is for me?

Yeah.

Like all of it?

I'd be upset if you got me something nice, but...

Truth be told, I'm not that big into presents.

Getting them or just giving them?

Giving, mostly.

You remember your birthday.

Oh, yeah.

No, no, I remember.

I was very disappointed and I thought I made that point,

but it's clear we need to have another discussion.

Well, we already did.

Remember, you got really mad at me.

I said I have no idea what you like, and you said I should figure it out.

And then I asked you for a simple list.

I'm not making a list, Dan.

I'm not seven.

You said that same thing last time, too.

And that didn't have any impact on you?

Wait, wait, hold on.

Are we about to have another fight?

Well, it depends.

Okay, can we just skip it this time?

I'm not that big into fights, either.

Okay, I'm gonna say it.

I have not been very happy in this relationship lately, Dan.

Okay.

And that doesn't seem to bother you.

Oh, well, I don't want to break up or anything, if that's what you're saying.

Yeah, but you also don't want to talk about it?

Not really, no.

Right, okay.

So then, yeah, we're breaking up.

What, seriously?

Just like that?

Seriously.

I mean, what is there to discuss if you won't even talk about it?

Well, I choose not to break up.

What about you?

No, this isn't working.

I mean, the first couple of years were so great, and I swear,

it's like this last year, you have literally stopped trying.

Fine, you know what?

I give up.

Case in point!

I can't believe this.

Well, it's your decision.

You used to be a lot nicer.

Sorry, that was the craziest deja vu moment.

My ex used to say that same thing.

It's weird.

I think you should move out.

What?

No.

No, no.

No, I'm gonna stay.

What do you mean, no?

No, I found this apartment.

I put the entire security deposit down myself.

Technically, that's true.

But you remember that family reunion that you

had last summer that I just didn't want to go to?

Yeah, no, I'm still upset that you bailed on me for that.

I mean, my Aunt Monica doesn't even think you exist.

That's a fair complaint.

But my point is this.

You may recall that it was the same week we had to renew the lease.

And so technically, my name is the only one on any of that paperwork now.

You wouldn't.

I thought I was helping you out.

I...

Okay, guys, I'm back.

Sorry about that.

Oh, honey, I am so sorry.

It's okay.

I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Honestly, I don't even know why I stayed with them this long.

Well, then, I suppose it's a good thing.

Yeah, except I have to move out.

Well, where will you go now?

I don't know.

I mean, I've been looking at listings, but there

isn't much available until after the new year.

No, I mean, for Christmas, I don't suppose you're going to dance.

Why don't you pack up and just go?

Just come home.

Mom, no offense, but I really don't think I can

handle an Evergreen Lane Christmas right now.

I'm just going to use my freaking flyer miles.

I'll go somewhere warm and just relax.

No, no, that can't...

Darling, you come on home.

You can relax with us.

Your father will be so happy.

He's not too busy remodeling Santa's workshop again?

Oh, no, not this year.

Okay, that was your nervous laugh.

Where are you hiding?

No, what are you talking about, dear?

Mom, you just did it again.

I found out you got rid of all my beanie babies.

Oh, no, it's nothing like that, dear.

I'm just hoping that you're doing okay with the breakup and everything.

It's got to be hard.

Sure, no, I'm okay.

You know what, I think it's going to be good to come home for a while.

Reno, I'm off until New Year's and I can just

relax and eat a million cookies and get some TLC.

I couldn't agree more.

It's been a long time since you've come home for the holidays.

It'll be so wonderful for you.

Just do me one favor.

Please don't pressure me too much to do all the Christmas activities.

I really don't think I have any right now.

Don't worry, dear.

Your father and I will not be pressuring you at all this year.

I promise.

Alright, thanks, Mom.

I'm just going to finish packing and then I

can probably be down there by dinner time.

No!

Tomorrow!

Oh, darling, tomorrow.

Your father and I, we've got plans with the Ingebrigtsens tonight.

So I think it'd just be better if you came down in the morning.

Is that okay?

Yeah, no, it's totally fine.

I'll just lock the door and make Dan sleep on the couch.

Probably going to be playing some virtual ogre fighting thing.

I have no idea what he does all night.

Oh, that's wonderful, dear.

Tell your father he'll be so excited.

Alright.

Bye, Mom.

Bye!

Are you sure this is a good idea?

This may be our only hope.

Alpha 9 and Team Kringle, we have a code red and green.

I repeat, red and green.

All units assemble.

Over.

Okay, break it down.

It's red and green?

Yes, it is.

Get the tree.

I've got the tree!

You've reached Jess's phone.

Leave a message.

Hey, it's me.

So, believe it or not, I am driving down Main Street.

Yep, I'm home.

Listen, we have so much to catch up on.

But, uh, just call me or come by whenever you can.

Alright, talk to you soon.

Come on, guys.

If you put your backs into it, you won't feel the cold.

Well, they should have layered.

Guys, please, watch the tulip beds, please.

They are very delicate.

Did you hear the lady?

Ah, perennials.

So finicky, yet so delightful.

Yes.

Okay.

Alright, go.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Okay.

Sir.

It's there.

Okay.

Thank you.

Welcome home.

Proceed with phase two.

Repeat phase two.

Over.

Oh, look.

Here comes Emily.

She's on schedule.

She hasn't been home for the holidays in years.

She doesn't have any idea, does she?

Not a clue.

Buckle up.

What's with the get-ups?

You're moving to Florida?

That's the plan.

But why?

Well, because it's warm there.

Uncle Dino lives there.

We can golf around.

A bunch of my college friends are still there.

Oh, I cannot believe this.

Oh, honey.

It's not like we're dying.

We're just moving to Florida.

We're taking our talents to South Beach.

But when?

As soon as we find a place.

You mean, like, online or what?

That must be our cab to the airport.

Airport?

You're literally leaving today?

Yes, sweetie.

Our flight leaves in three hours.

I know how your mother needs to be early.

What's wrong with being a little early?

Nothing.

The airport is 40 minutes from here.

If there's no traffic.

When is there ever any traffic?

Mom, you didn't think it was important to mention to me

that you were moving to Florida when we spoke on the phone?

Honey, we weren't talking about us.

We were focused on you.

And you said you wanted to come home for the holidays.

Well, here you are.

No, I wanted to come home to be with you guys.

Remember the cookies and the TLC?

We'll be back by New Year's.

And in the meantime, you can bake cookies.

You can bake all the cookies you want.

And the neighbors will be so happy to see you.

You'll get so much TLC, you won't know what to do.

You know what?

I'm already packed.

I'll come with you.

Honey, we want you to be here.

You need to decompress and take some time to

yourself to get over the breakup with David.

Dan.

Dan.

Right.

And to do it right here at the home that you grew up in.

Yeah, but this isn't home without you two.

Sweetie, I know it's hard, but you'll have everything here you need.

What about the neighborhood?

I mean, the neighborhood needs you.

You guys created the HOA rules for Christmas, after all.

You can't just move to Florida and leave everything behind.

That is ridiculous.

Your mother and I believe that Florida is the place that needs us the most.

Some lucky HOA has a hurricane of Christmas coming their way.

They won't know what hit them.

Well, that's for certain.

Oh, come on, honey.

Do it for us.

It would mean so much to us if we knew you were taking care of the house.

And we don't want to let the neighbors down.

She's right.

Just think of it as your Christmas present to us.

Fine.

Just promise me you'll be back by New Year's.

You have our word.

Okay, try to enjoy one last Christmas in the neighborhood.

Oh, I thought I told you that's exactly what I was trying to avoid.

It'll be just what the doctor ordered.

Really?

I think I'd like a second opinion.

Wait, where are all the decorations?

In the garage, waiting for you.

Yeah, but why aren't they up yet?

We got a late start.

Bye, honey.

Have fun.

Oh, almost forgot.

See ya.

Hey!

You wanna ride the lightning?

No, I'm good.

Party pooper.

Good evening, ma'am.

My name is Jared Farnsworth.

I'm looking for Emily Melrose.

Is she, uh...

Is she here?

I'm standing right here.

No.

Do you actually not recognize me?

Well, see, that's impossible.

I know you have her unforgettable smile, but, I

mean, the Emily Melrose I know would be about...

hmm, could be...

5'7", 5'8", by now?

You know what, it's really interesting, because I recognize the freckles and the

steel-blue eyes, but the Jared Farnsworth I remembered had, oh, legs that were as

skinny as his arms, so he clearly can't be him.

He went.

Welcome home.

It's good to see you.

Me too.

Hey.

So, how'd you know I was here?

Well, that's the evergreen way.

It hasn't been on you since you passed the point of the mountain.

Wait, really?

I'll never tell.

Oh, okay.

So, are you here visiting your mom?

I live here now, just up the block.

Oh, you have got to tell me the truth.

How do you do it?

How do I do what?

How do you deal with everyone, including my parents, being so

over-the-top with the whole Christmas thing?

I mean, everyone is just so gung-ho with the

decorations and the activities and the HOA is so strict.

To be honest, I love it.

And your dad has been such a mentor to me from my first year in office.

Wait, office?

I promise I'm not gonna let it go this way.

But as a newly elected president of the HOA, I want to

formally invite you to the kick-off to the Christmas countdown.

Is that the overly massive tree-lighting ceremony, really?

When's that?

Tonight.

Oh, it's a little late in the season to be lighting the tree, isn't it?

I mean, Christmas is in a week.

Rest assured I have my reasons.

Scheduling this many board members is no easy feat.

In fact, I still don't know how your dad did it with such...

perfect balance.

Anyway, can you come?

You know what, I just remembered I have plans.

I married Kevin Van Orden, and they have this adorable little girl now.

Yeah, Jess.

80s retro, always wears a beanie, cool mom.

That's oddly specific.

Oh, and her daughter loves that Darla Duguid doll.

You're scaring me.

How do you know all this?

I call it the Santa sense.

That, and they're heading up the walkway.

Hey!

Jared Farnsworth?

Hey!

Hi, Darla.

Good to see you.

What is going on here?

Emily just informed me that you guys won't be

able to attend the Christmas tree-lighting.

I want to go!

Okay.

I guess we'll be seeing you there after all.

I sensed that was coming.

See you guys tonight.

Is that an invitation to the tree-lighting?

No.

It's a notice for insufficient Christmas decor.

Oh!

Welcome back to Evergreen Lane.

I still can't believe you live on Evergreen Lane.

Well, I don't live here, but I grew up here.

Hey, are you sure you're okay staying here by yourself?

You can always crash with us.

I'm fine.

Besides, my parents want me to look after the house anyway.

I think it'll be good to spend some time by myself and try and figure out why I

spent the last three years of my life with Dan

knowing that our relationship had no future.

Because he was nice at the beginning.

But honestly, I think the jerk in him was just waiting to come out.

I know.

You really dodged a bolt there.

And yet I still got wounded.

You know what I need?

I need to just take a bunch of hot baths.

I need to sleep in until 10 o'clock every morning and sit in front of that fireplace

in my cozy pajamas and watch Christmas movies on repeat.

Yes.

That sounds perfect.

I think they're about to start.

You guys want to go?

Let's go.

Emily Melrose?

What a wonderful surprise!

Hi, Melinda, Mary Louise, Bob.

You guys remember my best friend, Jess, and this is her daughter, Nicole.

We're so glad you could make it.

Well, Jared invited us.

He's an architect.

And a darn good one.

And handsome, too.

Stop, you two.

The last thing Emily needs is a couple of matchmakers.

I thought she just got dumped by that loser boyfriend of hers.

She dumped him, Bob.

And second of all, how did you hear that?

Belinda, of course.

She always spills the tea.

I'm so sorry.

Your mother made it seem like it wasn't a secret.

Oh, that checks out.

You know what?

She's right.

I don't have anything to hide.

But I do want to just kind of fly a little under

the radar this Christmas, if you know what I mean.

Good luck with that.

Oh.

Well, we'll see you at the tree.

Come on.

Let's go see that tree.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.

It is December, and as you all know, we gather to light the neighborhood tree.

And I am very sorry to say that we're a little late this year.

A little?

A couple weeks?

Stop.

We talked about this, Ned.

It was the best time for everyone, so thank you for that.

I've been free for the last two weeks.

You've been free since the 80s, okay?

Go ahead, Jared, please.

Anyway, I want to thank all of you for your efforts, your energy this year.

One announcement that I have to make, though.

It's the first time in the history of the HOA's 30-year

existence we will not see Gail and Albert Melrose.

Aww.

But their daughter, Emily, has come home for the holidays.

So everyone say hi to Emily.

Reminds me, quick announcement, there will be an HOA meeting at 8 a.m.

Can you fill in for your folks?

What?

Me?

We'll call at 745.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Emily Melrose, ladies and gentlemen.

Lovely.

So much for sleeping in.

All right, everybody.

You know what this is.

Without further ado, five...

Four...

Three...

Two... One...

Jared.

Come on.

Ned, you said this worked.

It worked when I did it.

Okay.

Ned, let it... It's going to be fine, everybody.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

This never happened when your parents were in charge.

I don't want to blame you, but I am.

Do

I?

Merry Christmas everybody!

Merry Christmas to everybody!

My fair Iceman.

My fair Iceman.

No one makes him fast as I can, la la la la la la la.

Heard the head and then the shoulders, la la la la la...

Hi, 911, yes.

Oh, I'm not strange.

And you're not on the phone with 911.

No, but I will be if you don't tell me what you're doing here.

I'm just checking out some stuff.

What kind of stuff?

HOA stuff?

Yeah.

How'd you guess?

Because my dad used to sneak around

people's houses looking for violations, too.

Such a legend.

What does the HOA think about noise levels in the morning?

It's actually a very strict policy.

Nothing above 90 decibels before 9 a.m.

Okay, so it's 7.30.

Oh, every week except the week before Christmas.

Oh, well, that figures.

All right, so what'd you find?

Everything is very detailed in that notice I left you last night.

You mean the notice that was intended for my parents to handle?

They're out of town, so everything kind of falls on you.

Jared, are you serious?

Bylaw 25.12.

If the owners are not present or otherwise incapacitated, they may nominate a

surrogate or next of kin to fulfill all holiday obligations.

Read up on that buttercup.

This one's for you.

Okay, now see, that's the thing.

I came here to get away from any and all obligations.

That puts me in quite the pickle.

See, everyone takes their time.

It's Christmas very, very seriously around here.

Maybe you can tell them at the meeting because, you

know, I told them you would be there, so... Yep.

Because I was pressured to say yes in front of the whole town.

Not cool.

Emily.

Emily.

Wait, wait.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

I shouldn't have done that.

Can we just talk about it?

What do you mean, talk about it?

That thing that two people do when they want to solve a problem, right?

Okay.

You know what?

Great.

Let's talk about it.

I think Christmas should be about having fun.

I don't think it should be about attending HOA meetings or writing citations.

In fact, I think the word bylaw itself should

be banned for the entire month of December.

So can you please just let me enjoy the holiday in my own way?

You're right.

You're right.

It's Christmas time.

It's hardly the time to think about the wants and needs of others.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.

Could you just go away?

There's no bylaw against early caroling here on Evergreen Lane.

In fact, it's encouraged.

Well, can you make an exception, please?

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to

me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three French hens,

two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

Fine.

You win.

I'll go to the meeting.

If you promise to not sing that song for the

rest of the week or the rest of my life ever.

Okay.

So the word on the street is you're an architect.

That's right.

What kind?

House remodels, mostly.

Did you remodel your house?

I did, for absolute optimal holiday cheer.

Even put in the extra-wide fireplace.

Why extra-wide?

Santa, of course.

I know.

What do you do?

I am a freelance copy editor.

That makes sense.

You were always a great writer.

In fact, do you remember, in fifth grade, you wrote a story about a little girl who

asked Santa for it to be Christmas every day?

Wait, you remember that?

Pick up the pace, you lollygaggers!

Come on!

T-minus two minutes of counting.

Let's do it!

Let's do it!

Let's do it!

Kind of love his enthusiasm.

Yeah.

His aim isn't bad either.

Let's just stop.

All right.

Team, listen up.

We have six days until Christmas, and as you can see, lots of fun still to be had.

Now, I just want to make sure our event managers

are up to speed on what they need to do.

Now, first off, let's see.

Christmas cookie contest this afternoon.

Check.

Check.

Thank you, Mom.

Uh, hot chocolate prepped for the visitors.

You know this.

Mm.

Uh, trophy for the winner.

Locked and loaded.

But I don't know why we don't just give it to her now.

Don't be hasty, Ned.

It's anyone's game.

Lastly, we have the illustrious snowmen tableau.

Now, we know that Gail and Albert are down in

Florida, so we may need someone to fill in for them.

Why don't we have Emily do it?

That way, it can stay in the family.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

No, no, no, no, no.

Well, hold on.

Let's see what Emily has to say.

Emily, what do you think?

I'm just a little confused.

It's an exhibition of frozen humanity followed by a no-rule snowball fight.

What's to explain?

You know, I'm well aware of what the event entails.

I still have slight hearing loss from the time I took a shot to the eardrum in 2012.

You said you forgave me.

Say it louder, Ned.

That might be the ear.

You said you forgave me.

Right.

What I'm confused about is why my parents didn't find someone

to cover this if they knew they were going out of town.

Yeah, well, um... Why...

You know what?

I'm sure they could walk you through it.

You have plenty of time.

How much?

36 hours.

Plenty of time?

That sounds like slight hyperbole.

You do have to enter the cookie contest, and your house still

needs to be decorated to code, so, yeah, maybe you're right.

I actually don't have to do any of this.

Oh, okay.

Is it me, or did it just get really hot in here?

We don't want you to miss out on any of the fun, Emily.

Wait a minute.

Why don't Pamela and Emily co-manage the event?

You know what?

I'll just do it by myself.

That'll be so much easier.

Oh, I'm totally fine with that.

That's a great idea.

No, then Emily wouldn't have the satisfaction of participating.

I think co-managers is a great idea.

I feel like I finally know what the FOMO feels like.

Yeah.

You guys are gonna have a blast.

You know what?

Can you define FOMO?

Fear of making out.

Sorry about that, Bob.

Please let it be the one where she finds out her boyfriend's actually a prince.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, sweetie.

Hiya, sweetie.

Are you guys on a golf cart?

Your father's driving.

We're between holes.

Ooh, who's winning?

I don't wanna talk about it.

How are you?

I'm okay.

But why didn't you tell the HOA to have someone else run the snowman tableau?

It must have slipped my mind.

Uh-huh.

Well, they've assigned it to me, and they also

want me to decorate the house and bake cookies.

That sounds like a perfect Christmas.

Yeah, maybe in some alternate universe where I

wasn't ditched by my parents for the Sunshine State.

Oh, come on, honey.

It sounds so harsh when you say it like that.

Well, how do you think I feel?

I mean, I feel like I'm in Home Alone 4, stuck in the suburbs.

Don't be so dramatic.

I'm sorry about the decorating, but you did say you wanted to bake cookies.

No, I said I wanted to eat cookies, a lot of them.

Then make extra.

Please, Emily, at least try to get a baseline of decorations up at the house.

Our family has a reputation to uphold.

All right, fine.

I'll do it.

I'll do my best for you guys.

There's my girl.

All right.

I'm just a little worried that my best is not gonna be up to par.

Don't worry.

Neither is your father's golf score.

Ooh.

I told you I would turn it around on the back nine.

Sure you will.

That's what you said yesterday.

We agree.

No put-downs.

You guys, I need help, remember?

Me, help, please.

There's a checklist on my desk.

That should get you right on track.

Have fun, honey.

Don't you dare go further.

Hi.

I am the wolf still.

Wolf, schmolf.

Come on.

Oh, goodness.

Oh, it's the one in Vienna.

I love this guy.

Hold

up.

Is this another warning?

No.

Absolutely not.

It's not a warning.

That's a full-on citation.

For what?

Violation of the Nutcracker Code.

It's in your handbook.

Section 1-5-9-4.

Oh, yeah.

I must have skimmed that part.

Every front porch must have a Nutcracker Procedure.

By December 19th.

Which was yesterday.

And I'm giving you a bit of wiggle room here.

And I don't want to say it's getting ridiculous.

Okay.

I didn't even know about the Nutcracker Code.

It's in your handbook.

One second.

I'll wait.

Yeah.

Just...

Just a sec.

We good?

It is illegal to rip up a citation.

Also, your Nutcracker needs to be 36 inches from chute to chapeau.

Oh, from chute to chapeau.

Is that in the handbook, too?

No.

Just my own little flourish.

Okay.

So, what is the penalty for these citations?

Well, that's up to the HOA President.

And it should be proportional to the offense.

So, what do I get for no Nutcracker?

Well, that's known as a Fix-It Ticket.

And you get a tall Nutcracker, and I will personally tear that up.

And what about the one that I ripped up?

About two hours community service.

You can start by helping Mary Louise and Bob with their lawn display.

Hey there, Bob.

Okay.

Okay.

All righty then.

So, what was wrong with this spot for Dasher and Dancer?

Nothing.

I just wanted a second opinion.

Oh, okay.

Well, would it be all right if I maybe staked

down the rest of the reindeer in the meantime?

Well, if Dasher and Dancer move, everything's going to change.

Oh, excellent point.

Well, okay.

The cookies are in the oven.

And where were we, Bob?

Dasher and Dancer.

Ah, okay.

Hi.

A little to the right.

Okay.

And a little forward.

Yeah.

And then a little to the right.

Yeah.

And now to the left.

Okay.

To the left.

To the left.

Oh, boy.

To the left.

Sorry.

Just a sec.

What do you think, Bob?

About what?

Well, what do you think?

Oh.

It's perfect.

Thank you.

Oh.

Happy to help.

Really?

I thought Jared sighted you with community service.

True.

But, you know what?

It was a pleasure.

We'll thank Jared later.

He's an architect, you know.

That has been mentioned.

Yes.

And you let us know if you need any help with your decorations.

You know what?

I had a question.

Did my parents really not put up any decorations?

Well, as a matter of fact... Bob doesn't remember, do you, Bob?

She's right.

I don't remember.

Neither of us do.

Okay.

All right.

Well, I got to go bake some cookies.

So, see you later.

Stop mentioning me.

I'm sorry, Jared.

You're going to jinx it.

I can't believe we have less than two hours to finish these.

I should have started this before you guys came over.

What is it now?

Go on.

We can mix the batter.

Okay.

The sugar is right there in the medium canister.

Got it.

Ready to make some cookies?

Yeah.

Pamela!

What's up?

I was wondering when you'd like to meet to plan the snowman parade.

Right.

Right.

How about later tonight?

No.

No.

I never plan anything after the cookie contest.

Oh, okay.

Why not?

If I lose, I will be in no condition to do anything.

Good for you for being honest.

But I've never lost.

Right, no, of course.

Okay, so if you win... If?

If I win?

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

No, I mean, when?

Okay, don't jinx me.

Right.

Please.

I was just gonna...

How about when the whole thing's over?

You know, we'll just check in with each other.

Uh-huh.

Right?

And we'll see if you're in a happy place.

And if you are, then we can meet up.

How does that sound?

It's fine.

Okay.

Whew.

Good.

Okay.

I'll see you there.

Great.

Your nutcracker is too short!

I'm aware.

So what are you gonna do after the holiday?

I don't know.

I'll probably just camp out here until I find a place.

I'm sure my parents will like it.

My parents would love having me around.

Mmm.

Well, so would a certain H.O.A.

president.

What?

Give me a break.

What?

I saw the way he was looking at you at the tree lighting.

What?

Come on.

Like you were the only woman on Evergreen Lake.

She's right.

I noticed it, too.

Wow.

I didn't even know you were listening.

She is always listening.

I'm

out of my league.

How could you know it was gonna be the Great British Bake Off?

It's always this crazy.

These folks don't understand the meaning of the word amateur.

Well, don't feel bad.

I'm sure that these hold up.

Yuck!

It's cold.

I'm sure that it's mine.

Mmm.

Are you sure that it was sugar in the medium canister?

My mom doesn't leave all the jars.

Is that a Salt Lake specialty?

Aha!

The classic.

Did you know that English shortbread is the

forerunner of the modern American sugar cookie?

There is another school that says it goes back

to Platches in Mesopotamia 2,000 years ago.

But I am not of that school.

This was originally formulated in Sussex by the chef de cuisine of the Archduke of...

Sorry.

Are you allergic to nuts?

No.

Milk?

No.

Shellfish?

No.

What are you allergic to?

Sulfites.

Bummer.

Sulfites are the secret ingredient.

And a lot of salt.

Cold.

Thanks.

Mom, can I have a real cookie?

Yes, please do.

You should.

Mmm.

Divine.

Can I have a bite?

Thank you.

It looks really good.

Sorry.

But we do have to crown a winner for this year's Christmas cookie contest.

Ring-a-ding-ding, baby.

It's game time.

Third place goes to Ned Broadhead.

Oh, me!

Oh!

Me!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

I did it!

I did it!

Third place.

That seems right.

Third.

Spicy ginger snaps were a first for me.

What was the secret ingredient?

Nepalese ghost peppers, baby.

That'd do it.

All right.

Second place...

We never won second.

Missy Cartwright!

For her sumptuous and rich eggnog truffles.

But the winner, first place, once again, for

her perfect pecan stockings, is Pamela Bevan!

I can't do it!

Would you like to say a few words?

Yeah.

Let's keep her hydrated, shall we?

Okay, um, thanks for coming, everyone.

I hope you saved some Christmas cookies for Santa, because he'll be here in six days!

I've never seen anything like that.

Oh, look.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

I never stood a chance, did I?

No.

Oh, hi.

Pamela, hi.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I am now prepared to confirm our planning meeting for later today.

Oh, good.

Are you sure you're okay, though?

Because you seemed kind of emotional.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Besides, victory gives me purpose.

Okay, then.

All right, how about, um, I don't know, what time works for you this evening?

Well, I feel it's best to take advantage of the daylight hours.

We don't want to appear like a couple of lackadaisical Leslies, do we?

Oh, quite the contrary.

You know, I had some, uh, Christmas stuff that I was gonna do,

Christmas activities, but, uh, why don't we say around four?

Okay.

I'll put around four in my calendar.

Helen, we're leaving.

Yes, Mom.

Now, Mommy's gotta be somewhere around four.

Why does she make me so nervous?

Because she's a bona fide ice queen.

Elsa's got nothing on her.

Hey.

As long as I can't talk to you in private.

Sure.

Yeah, I'll go find Nicole.

Oh, boy.

Oh, no.

I'm not really sure how to tell you this, but, uh,

it seems like you've caused quite the scuttlebutt.

Oh, scuttlebutt?

What kind of scuttlebutt?

Big ol' scuttlebutt.

But, see, the thing is, it's like after the Christmas tree lighting and then the

cookie contest, um, visitors that are outside the lane, they've been a little

disappointed at your lack of decorations.

Outside the lane?

Mm.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Fine.

You know what?

I don't want to be a sore thumb.

Mm-mm.

And I promised my parents I would do the minimum.

So when can you start?

As soon as I can get the bins off the shelves in the garage.

That's all it takes?

Yeah.

Attention all available units.

Rendezvous at Melrose Manor.

Stats, Operation Deck the Halls is a go.

Over.

What is happening?

Oh,

deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Fa la la la.

Tis the season to be jolly.

Fa la la la.

That is a snowflake.

They're heavy.

Fa la la la.

The bells!

Ha ha.

They're ringing.

I don't see any smiles here.

We're working.

We're having fun.

What is going on here?

This is classic storage configuration.

We'll have you sorted out in no time.

Nice.

Last one.

Great job.

I got it.

I got it.

Oh!

It's a nutcracker.

Oh!

Thank you.

Oh!

One of the best in the neighborhood.

Oh.

It's coming with me.

That looks great.

I think that's a good job.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

This should bring me up to code.

We'll see about that.

Go ahead.

Forty-two inches.

Someone's been reading their handbook.

Well, not exactly, but it does make a good doorstop.

Care to do the honors?

Nice work.

You too.

You three.

This is amazing.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Now all you need is a lawn display.

You know, I have an extremely rare taxidermy set of nine adult reindeer.

They're beautiful.

You just say the word, and I will just wrangle

those puppies out of that parking garage ASAP.

Well, as lovely as that sounds, I think you've really done enough already.

What?

Oh, no, no, no.

I am so grateful for your help.

Really so grateful.

It's just, um, you know, I kind of need to decompress.

That was a lot.

You sure?

Yeah.

Second wind here.

Uh, I'm totally sure.

You know how to find us.

Yes, I do.

This is just incredible.

Really.

You know, it just reminds me of exactly what it looked like when I was little.

You know what, I'd love to have you all inside, and I can

make you a cup of cocoa as a token of my appreciation.

What just happened?

I think it's a Christmas miracle.

I'll take you up on that cocoa.

But, but, people just...

It's great.

Very strange.

Santa, I am your father.

Got the hot cocoa.

Oh, great!

Hey, that was really fun.

Thank you for getting everyone to help out.

Oh, yeah.

Are you kidding me?

They wanted to do this.

Yeah, gotta chill out there.

Yeah, yeah.

This chair's free, so you know, I'm gonna come and join you.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

You know, I always thought my parents were just so pushy.

Making everyone follow all of these rules and do all of these activities.

But I'm starting to realize I think people always wanted to.

They lived for this.

Like, think about how many lives your parents changed

by giving them these amazing memories all these years.

Yeah.

Speaking of which, do you still have those old Polaroids

from me and you together at the Christmas carnival?

Oh, they have to be here somewhere.

I mean, my parents threw everything out that

was old unless it was Christmas related.

Right.

But, uh, I bet they're stored away somewhere.

Okay.

I'll have to look for them.

Yeah.

I've gotten pretty close with your parents since I moved back here.

And you know what they talk about more than anything else?

Easy.

Christmas.

No, it's, uh, it's you.

Every time I see them it's, oh, did you see that new

article that Emily edited for that amazing magazine?

Or, oh, Emily took us to this fantastic restaurant.

Or she's taking kickboxing now and she's a blue belt.

Purple belt?

Purple belt.

And they really shouldn't have told you that.

That is my secret superpower.

Hmm.

Well, that's just the angel on top of the Christmas tree.

I know all the dirt.

Really?

For instance, your favorite sandwich is a frozen peanut butter and jelly.

That's gross.

You have to try it.

No.

You are afraid of basements but not attics.

I have my reasons.

Okay.

Um, you are shamelessly, unapologetically in love with Nickelback.

Chad Kroger was my everything.

I mean, that hair.

You good?

Did I lose you?

No, I'm good.

But this is kind of a little strange.

You kind of know a lot about me.

Well, your parents go on and on and on and on about you so...

Honestly, they go on and on about you.

The whole neighborhood does.

That's nice.

Yeah.

When I moved here, they did welcome me with arms wide open.

That's creed.

You would know.

Oh, no.

I can't stay here.

Yeah.

I'm on fire.

So... No, no.

I have to go.

I totally forgot about my meeting with Pamela.

Oh.

Oh, go.

I'll let myself out.

Really?

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I'm sorry, but I'll see you soon, right?

Absolutely.

Well, I hope so.

Very soon.

Yeah, soon.

Soon.

Oh.

Sorry about that.

Pamela, hi.

I am so sorry.

I was decorating the house with Santa's helpers and I just lost track of time.

I'll say.

It's 523.

I know.

I'm sorry.

We agreed on four.

We did say around four.

Is 523 around four?

Well, it's better than 623, isn't it?

Is this the lighting that made you fill up this red rock?

Oh.

You know what, sweetie?

Why don't you just go on inside and play with your dolls, okay?

I brought my dad's checklist.

He used this checklist for the event for years.

Then you already have a roadmap.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just that, um, I don't know if you can see this part.

It's three feet long.

Yeah.

But I really think we could do it all if we

just, like, divvy it up and we do this together.

You know what?

That is a great idea.

How about you do everything on the list and then you tell me when you're done?

Okay.

You're still mad.

I can tell.

I am so, so sorry.

But the entire neighborhood, they all came out.

The neighborhood came out to help me and I just got carried away.

But I was carried away with the Christmas spirit.

You know?

Okay.

Nice try.

But I'll make it up to you.

How?

I don't know.

Do you have any ideas?

Actually, yes.

You've got tiny, dexterous hands.

Come on in.

I need you and your cute little baby hands to thread popcorn.

Okay.

Oh.

My.

That's a lot of popcorn.

Yeah.

I need the hot glue stockings for my daughter's Girl Scout troop.

We can go over the list while you thread all that popcorn.

Okay.

Don't move a muscle.

I'll be right back with my hot glue gun.

Don't eat it!

Okay.

You know, if I'm being completely honest, I've

always wanted to take a crack at your dad's list.

I've just always admired his organizational skills.

Look at this.

Okay.

Get required permit from HOA.

We can do that.

You know what?

I'm going to talk to Oscar Parcell about the parking.

He gets... He likes to be courted.

You know, I'll bring over my cookies.

He'll be great.

Okay.

Pick up extra gloves from Community Donation Center.

We can do that.

Ow!

Ow!

Stop.

Go through it.

Push through the pain.

Sorry.

Good morning.

Look who's right on time.

How you feeling?

You know what?

I woke up with a bit of a crick in my neck.

I think I must have slept wrong or something.

I think it's the way you were stringing the popcorn last night.

Really?

What do you mean?

Correct posture and regular chiropractic adjustments are a must.

I wrote my dissertation on it.

Wait.

You have a Ph.D.?

Wow.

In what?

Arts and crafts.

Huh.

With a minor in scrapbooking.

Wow.

Easy.

Now don't you break on me.

I mean it.

There you go.

Ah.

Oh, that is amazing.

And a few days late.

Perfection is worth the citation.

Okay.

Good morning, Ned.

Good morning.

We're just going around the neighborhood trying

to get donations for the snowman tableau.

Of course.

Of course.

Ah.

What you need?

Really anything.

Buttons, carrots, beanies, you know, old clothing, anything you can think of.

Oh.

Oh.

I've got 12 hazmat suits.

You can make a post-apocalyptic gang of snow people.

Okay.

You know what?

Just get us a few carrots and an old beanie, Ned.

Okay?

Your loss.

You don't know what you're missing.

Yeah, I do.

Okay.

You know what?

That's just dangerous.

How?

Well, some poor kid is going to get his tongue stuck on that.

Why would he be licking it?

I don't know what... I don't know how kids think.

I don't know.

They like to lick stuff and eat stuff off the floor.

Is that coal?

Yep.

Do you actually burn it?

No.

I'm more of a green energy guy.

Then why do you have coal?

It's stocking stuffers.

You mean, like, for the naughty kids?

Yeah, but I don't want the heart to put them in anyone's

stocking, so I mainly just use them as, uh, snowman eyes.

And we wonder why we're single.

Okay.

Don't.

No one... Have you been on the naughty list?

No.

I have never been on a naughty list ever.

Santa says otherwise.

He would never say.

Are you sure?

Okay.

Stop it.

Not you.

She seems frustrated.

You know what?

Fine.

We'll take it.

Just put it in the wagon.

Why is she yelling at me?

Stop that!

She yells a lot.

Don't do that!

So how long have you lived here?

Five years in November.

Where did you live before?

In Highland.

I would bring my daughter here every Christmas season.

It was her favorite thing to do.

My husband, he travels a lot for work and sometimes during the holidays,

so we would come here to be part of a community.

I told Ned to cut these.

That's really sweet.

Is he traveling this holiday season?

Yes and no.

What do you mean?

He had an unexpected trip come up and before he could figure out his work

schedule, all the flights back to Salt Lake were booked solid.

It's the busiest time of the year, you know, holidays and ski season.

So the earliest he can get back is the afternoon of Christmas Day.

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry.

It is what it is.

And at least we've got Evergreen Lane.

Hey, what?

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

Is that...

Is that another citation?

No, no.

No, no citation.

Invitation to my annual White Elsin party.

Be warned.

It can get pretty competitive.

A couple of years ago, the police had to come break it up.

Yeah.

If Ned's there, just don't bring power tools.

Still gives me night terrors.

How you doing?

Comes and goes.

Did I say great on the donations?

Yeah, people were really happy to help.

And it was nice.

Pamela and I had some really nice quality neighbor time.

Oh, actually, we're not neighbors.

It's your parents' house.

Oh, true.

Yeah.

But you know what?

I didn't hate it.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

Yeah.

So, you know, I'll just go through all the stuff and organize it in the bins.

That way you can go be home with Helen.

That's really nice.

Okay.

Please keep the carrots away from the hats and the mittens.

Absolutely.

That's a vegetable.

They're fabric.

Yes.

Okay.

100%.

Got it.

Great.

Okay.

What a 180, huh?

Yeah.

Please don't jinx it.

No, no, no.

I didn't want to say this when she was around, but there's your citation.

For what?

No lawn display.

I don't know if you noticed, but I was kind of busy fulfilling my obligation to

the HOA by collecting things for the snowman tableau.

Actually, I did notice.

That's why the penalty's been reduced to

mandatory attendance to my white elephant party.

Oh, okay.

So it's a party I literally can't miss.

That's an excellent way of putting it.

Yes.

I'll help you.

Okay.

Oh, honey, no.

We don't have any.

If we kept all the lawn displays from every year, we

wouldn't have any room in the house for furniture.

So what did you do with them?

Your father donated them to charity.

And you bought new ones every year?

Yep.

And we always had the best ones, didn't we?

Remember that 10-foot tall polar bear?

Do I remember it?

That thing still gives me nightmares.

It was a classic.

Is that Jared?

Uh, yeah.

He's helping me out today.

Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Melrose.

Oh, hi, Jared.

Oh, honey.

They're hanging out together.

Isn't that wonderful?

Hello.

He's just lovely.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you anyway.

We're going to go now.

Bye.

Have fun.

Okay.

Turn it off.

It's off.

No, all the way off, Albert.

It's still green.

It is off.

Green is off.

Honey, are you sure?

What if they can hear us?

It's the last time they can hear us.

They can't hear us because it's off.

Is that the tea kettle boiling?

Did I make tea?

You did.

Emily, I still have all the lawn displays.

What?

Are you kidding me?

I can't part with those.

They're my most prized possessions.

So where are they?

In the storage locker just outside the town.

I'll text you the information.

The key is in an empty shoe polish can in the top drawer of my desk.

But whatever you do, don't tell your mother.

Okay.

No, no.

Don't worry.

It's partially insane.

The secret is safe with us.

I'm taking it to my grave, sir.

Okay.

Take anything you want, and if anyone asks, you've found them at the Salvation Army.

Got it.

Who are you talking to?

And those are my parents.

Legends.

It's like an episode of Hoarders, holiday edition.

It's like a dream.

You know, my dad said the lawn display was the crowning piece of decoration.

Yeah.

It's gotta be just right.

Anything inspire you?

Yeah.

You know what?

Yes.

So this guy is Ned, obviously.

Of course.

And here we have Mary, Louise, and Bob.

Adorable.

And the elf is Pamela.

Always hard at work.

And a little intense.

And then here, I'm Rudolph.

The new kid on the blocks.

He's trying to figure everything out.

And where am I?

Give me that citation pad.

I'm Santa.

Of course you are.

Who else would you be?

Santa Claus.

Do you know, when I was a little kid, I actually

wanted to be Santa Claus when I grew up.

Aw.

Were you just heartbroken when you found out that wasn't possible?

I have studied and researched the Santa Claus 1, 2, and 3.

I am convinced it is still possible.

Ho, ho, ho!

Everybody.

What happened here?

Did a Christmas Comet land on your house?

Well, I guess you could say I got into the spirit a bit.

A bit?

This is Clark Griswold, the whole decoration.

Did you do this all by yourself?

Jared, help.

Are you her boyfriend now?

Oh.

Um.

No.

Do you want to?

Nicole Bridges.

Bridges' friends.

Yeah.

Friends.

That's what Hannah said when I asked her if she liked Jayden.

Then Braxton saw them holding hands under the lunch table.

Have you guys held hands yet?

Nope.

Mm-mm.

Don't let her make you feel uncomfortable.

We encourage her to speak her mind.

You know, you see something, you say something.

Okay.

Well, this isn't the airport, Kevin.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.

Um.

We made you cookies.

We used sugar this time.

I hope you don't mind.

Oh.

Nice.

Good call.

Well, we could, uh, we should head inside.

Do you want to join us?

Oh, yes.

It's the, it's against the HOA rules for me to say no to cookies.

So, yes.

Okay.

Hello.

You know Dasher and Dancer?

Comment.

Dancer!

Vixen.

You're skipping literally the only one.

Dancer.

Shut up.

All right, big guy.

Let's see what you got.

Oh, the Christmas Carlton.

Uh.

Uh.

Um.

Uh.

My turn, finally.

Guys, ready for this?

You want the moon, just say the word and I'll

throw a lasso around it and I'll pull it down.

Oh, Bing Crosby!

Are you kidding?

Okay everyone, welcome to the annual Snowman Tableau.

Pamela and I are so excited you could all make it and

we cannot wait to see what awesome snow people you make.

So listen up, we have some carrot for noses, hats, scarves, clothes, buttons.

Coal for eyes.

What kind of coal is it?

Uh, the kind that comes from the ground?

No need to be childish, all coal comes from the ground.

Is that anthracite or bituminous?

It's for snowman eyes, Ned.

Does it make a difference?

Well, maybe not to you.

Anywho, does anyone else have any questions?

No.

Yes, Ned?

Can we use rebar to ensure structural integrity?

Rebar?

Yeah.

Currently it is 41 degrees Fahrenheit, 5 degrees centigrade.

Without adequate internal support, my design will not work.

It will not be able to... You know what?

Go nuts.

All right, everybody, let the fun begin!

Candles burning low.

Hanging mistletoe.

Lots of snow and ice.

Everywhere we go.

Choir singing carols.

Right outside my door.

All these things and more.

All these things and more.

That's what Christmas means to me, my love.

That's what Christmas means to me, my love.

How about tonight's party?

There is a dress code.

I brought everything I own when I moved out, so I should be covered.

Is it formal or semi-formal or Christmas casual?

Ugly sweater.

Oh, nice.

Classy.

Your parents always had the most hideous sweaters.

I have no idea where they got them.

Yeah, those were just their regular sweaters.

Do you know what this means?

What?

Snowball fight!

Snowball fight?

Every man for himself, no rules, no mercy!

Fall back!

Fall back!

Regroup!

Fall back!

You won't live to regret that!

Yes!

I've been waiting all year for this!

Well, I've got one for you, sister!

Cheap shot!

Cheap shot!

I turned my top around!

Come on!

You too!

Aw, I remember that one.

A little much.

Uh, let's see.

Oh, just right.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, thank you.

Watch this guy.

Hey, I've only had two.

Is that what I think it is?

I have no idea how I found it, but yes.

Oh, wow, this is very impressive.

This whole thing?

Internet's a wonderful place.

I see you found your parents' stash.

Yes, it's a 1987 classic, I believe.

87, a fine year indeed.

And this is for you.

This is amazing.

But what we really need to do is this.

Ready?

One, two, Santa.

All right, this will go perfectly right next to the other one.

Let me see.

I haven't shared this with anyone, but I've been

thinking about installing a retractable roof on my house.

Why?

So I could plant a 60-foot old growth tree in my living room.

Ned, have you ever thought about therapy?

I've been in therapy for years.

Have you ever thought about getting a different therapist?

Look what I found.

There.

Almost a perfect recreation.

You still have it.

Yeah.

I love that photo.

Ooh, it's almost singing time.

Oh, Oh, Oh, who would go, Oh, Oh, Oh, Who would go, Up on the top,

click, click, click, Down through the chin with gold Saint Nick.

Fall on your knees, Oh hear the angels voices.

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way,

I'm so glad you found these.

That's you, Pam, right?

Yeah.

That was during my poncho phase.

Woo!

Look, 19 in that one.

Oh, wow!

You'd never know it, but Jared's actually very stressed out.

About what?

The Christmas carnival.

The Santa he booked had to cancel.

Apparently he sprained his lap.

Oh, no!

Well, can't he find a replacement?

No, it's three days till Christmas.

Everybody's booked.

He's already so busy with everything else, I'm worried he's not going to find anyone.

Maybe I could help find someone.

That would be wonderful.

I'll tell him you'll take it off his plate.

He'll be so relieved.

Maybe Ned could do it.

My record is two minutes and 13 seconds.

Pain is all in the mind.

Keep thinking.

Ned, stop.

All right, everyone.

It's time.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

It is time.

It's time.

On your turn, you can either take a wrapped

present or you can steal from someone else.

But there's a twist.

Pay attention, Ned.

The lightning round where you have 10 seconds for one final swap.

Ready?

Who has number one?

I do.

Take it away, Mom.

Okay.

I didn't want that one anyway.

Drum roll.

Here we go.

Ready?

Ready?

What is it?

It's a top-of-the-line condensation monitor.

Well, sorry, Belinda.

No one's trading you.

What's wrong with you people?

Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Okay, don't... Too attached!

Don't anybody think about trading that.

Oh, what fun it is to ride On a wild horse on a sleigh Yeah, jingle bells Jingle

bells Jingle all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride On a wild horse on a sleigh Hey.

Hello.

How's the checklist coming?

Hey, uh, well, other than about a dozen boxes being empty, it's great.

Well, you can check the Santa box, because I found someone to do it.

What?

Yeah, your mom said you were so stressed and asked if I could help.

Why would she do it?

She did?

Yeah, so it took a few hours, but I think I've... I've convinced Kevin to volunteer.

Who's Kevin?

Hello, Jessica's husband.

Now, I don't have a Santa suit, but I'm thinking that Pam can help us.

I mean, the woman has a Ph.D.

in arts and crafts.

She can probably whip something up in an afternoon blindfolded.

She sure could.

Yeah, Kevin.

All holds for applause.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a Santa on Christmas Eve Eve?

Yeah.

It's like finding the actual Santa.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you.

Well, you don't look happy.

I thought you'd be happy.

Yeah, I'm happy.

Don't I look happy?

No, you look like I put coal in your stocking.

Oh, it's Christmas time.

Of course I'm happy.

I'm just a little stressed right now.

My mom's right.

I have a lot on my plate.

But good luck with Kevin.

Or Pam.

Or Kevin.

Good luck.

Are you sure about this?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I can make a Santa suit with my eyes shut.

See, I had a hunch you would say that.

Just give me his measurements stem to stern in about 60 to 90 minutes.

I'll have him looking exactly like Miracle on 34th Street.

Oh, you are a magician.

Thank you so much.

It's an advanced degree, not magic.

Right.

It sounds like you're having a wonderful time.

Honestly, I am.

I mean, everyone's working so hard, but this time it doesn't feel like work.

It's kind of magical.

I think I finally understand why you and Dad

made service such a priority over the holidays.

Your father will be so glad to hear it.

He's in a Thai massage right now, but he'll be so pleased to hear that.

Tell me, how's it going with Jared?

I don't know, Mom.

I mean, he's such a special guy, even though he's

extremely quirky and downright goofy sometimes.

He's just so sweet.

You know, he's so charming.

I meant how's it going with his HOA duties, but go on.

Oh.

Oh, right.

No, no, no.

He's an excellent president.

Very good president.

Everyone is really happy with him.

I just wish he wasn't so stressed.

Uh-oh.

What's he worried about?

Well, the Santa he hired canceled last minute, and

he was too busy to deal with it, so I took over.

And...

I don't think he really appreciated that.

Why not?

Well, when I told him I found someone to do it, he acted kind of... cold.

It's like I offended him or something.

Maybe because you did offend him.

What?

By trying to help?

By not asking the one person it would mean the most to, sweetie.

Right.

Of course.

How did I not think of that, Mom?

I guess I've still got some of those mom skills lying around.

Mad mom skills.

Right, I gotta go.

I have to go fix this.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Hello.

No more ho-ho-ho chime?

I disconnected it.

How come?

Just, uh... wasn't feeling it.

Well, maybe this will help put you back in the spirit.

What's that?

It's a little nutcracker.

Hmm.

It's still too small.

I know.

It's too small for your porch, but it's not too small for your mantle.

And that right there has sentimental value.

Him?

Yes.

Hmm.

That right there is the beginning of how you got

me into the Christmas spirit on Evergreen Lane.

Really?

Yes.

And since then, I have had the best week.

And that's because of you.

I... you're so devoted to making everyone happy that I foolishly assumed you were

too busy to fulfill your true calling this year.

What are you saying to me right now?

That I think you would make the best Santa ever.

And I am so sorry I didn't ask before.

But I'm here now.

Just a girl.

Standing in front of a boy.

Asking him to be the most perfect Santa Claus.

I thought you'd never ask.

So happy you're happy.

Thank you.

Sir, we actually have to get to Pamela's list so we can give you her sizes.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Kevin has short arms and tiny hands.

It's not my fault.

The suit was constructed on the measurements I was given.

I know.

I am so sorry, Pamela.

We rushed over as soon as we could.

I didn't think you'd finish it so fast.

Hey, what can I say?

I was in the zone.

Well, do you think you could let it out a little?

Oh, sure.

But it is a Santa suit after all.

I'll just magically add fabric to it.

No, no, no.

Sorry, sorry.

I was just brainstorming.

Ned has a spare Santa suit.

What do you guys think?

Hey, it's no threat out of my Bobbin.

Go.

Go!

I have several, actually.

You never know when one will come in handy.

Yeah.

Here is the, uh, Barry Manilow Santa.

Beautiful.

This is the traditional Norwegian Laplander Santa.

Darth Vader Santa.

Very popular.

Okay, what about just a classic mall Santa?

If you must.

Yes, yes.

You, sir, are a lifesaver.

Right.

Sign here and return in 48 hours.

That's across the street, Ned.

Right.

That's why I'm waiving the deposit.

How kind of you.

Sign for the boots as well.

Separate entry.

Grazie.

This is time.

It's time.

Time for what?

I hereby nominate Emily Melrose to be officially

named to Team Kringle as one of Santa's helpers.

I second the nomination, put the motion to a vote.

All in favor say aye.

Aye.

Aye.

The motion has passed.

It is with great pride that I bestow upon you, Emily Melrose, the great honor...

And responsibility.

And responsibility of officially becoming one of Santa's helpers.

That is the order.

Huzzah.

Huzzah.

Huzzah.

This is not a toy.

You have a lot of ground to cover out there,

keeping constant communicato, capiche?

Never leave a helper without a hand.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Attention, Team Kringle.

Moon up.

Yeah, let's move, move, move.

Watch out for the steps.

They sneak up on you.

Yeah, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Get the lead out.

North Pole!

Christmas tree!

Move, move, move, move, move!

I'll take cinnamon buns!

Let's go!

You okay?

Got it.

I'm sure you got it.

On Dasher.

On Dancer.

Everything looks great.

Looks so great.

Wanna take it for a test spin?

Oh, come on.

It's just a chair.

It's not just a chair.

This is where reality is suspended.

Where children still believe in magic.

Hmm.

It is really special.

Let's give it a try.

You were made for this.

Hope I do it justice.

I'm sure you will.

Wow, it's just... just beautiful.

Couldn't agree more.

Alright, we have a busy day tomorrow, so I should... I should head home.

Ooh, I caught that.

Caught what?

That right there was the first time since you've been

back that you referred to your parents' place as home.

Huh.

I guess I did.

Night.

Goodnight.

Pamela,

I am so sorry about the whole Santa suit debacle.

I...

Are you okay?

No.

So I just got off the phone with Alan.

Looks like there's a winter storm system moving into

the east coast and it's supposed to hit on the 25th.

Good news is my Nan in Pittsburgh will have a white Christmas.

Bad news is that his flight will... most definitely be cancelled.

And I have to tell Helen...

again... that she's not gonna see her father on Christmas.

I'm so sorry.

It's fine.

That's why we have Evergreen Lane.

Please, don't tell the others.

Last thing I want to do is dampen their spirits.

I won't say a word.

I really didn't want to be alone this Christmas.

Usually when someone hugs you, you hug them.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey.

Dan, hi.

Hi, hi, hi, it's me.

Um...

Listen, we need to talk.

Here you go, sweetheart.

Extra marshmallows.

Thank you.

What time should I take over, Mayor?

One o'clock.

Okay, I'll be back then.

Can we go see Santa now?

Yes, of course, honey.

Ooh, you know what?

Let's go now.

Yeah, we'll beat the line.

Santa, we're coming for you!

Well, you really seem to be fitting in around here.

You know what?

Strange as it seems, I think you're right.

I'm glad to hear it.

Does that mean you're thinking of moving back?

I don't know, but we have a place for Ren.

I mean, I'd take a look at it.

Ooh!

I'll keep my ear to the ground.

I know one girl who'd be very happy to have me back.

It's so nice to be close to Nicole again.

I meant me!

Thank you, London.

Merry Christmas to you.

Merry Christmas.

Okay, Trixie, who do we have next?

Well, Santa, you remember Nicole.

Nicole, of course.

Merry Christmas to you.

Do you want to sit in Santa's lap?

No, thank you.

Okay, a little girl who knows what she wants.

Santa loves that.

Why do you refer to yourself in the third person?

That's a great question.

More important question is, have you been naughty or nice?

A little bit of both.

Like everyone, right?

I suppose.

Look, I know you're not the real Santa.

It's okay.

We should pretend for all the grown-ups' sake.

I'm picking up what you're putting down.

Okay, what do you want for Christmas?

Two sandwiches.

Hit me.

I'd like some new furniture for my dollhouse.

Ideally, Bauhaus or Danish Modern.

What else?

I'd like that handsome architect to take my Aunt Emily on a date.

I told you.

She's always listening.

See, that is what I call highly effective communication.

Uh-huh.

What makes you think your Aunt Emily wants that

handsome architect to take her out on a date?

Well, she said she didn't like him, but you know what that means.

Thanks for the tip, kiddo.

Merry Christmas.

You, too.

Thank you.

Ho, ho.

Oh, Trixie!

Who do we have next?

Trixie doesn't care.

Alan!

Pamela.

The storm!

How did you get here?

None of that matters now.

We're together.

That's all that's important.

What's the story there?

Christmas beer?

A miracle.

Don't stay out too late, you two.

We're waiting up for Santa.

And looking at my favorite star.

Oh.

Mom says I'm the official photographer this year.

And you are doing an excellent job.

Thanks, Emily.

You're a true Melrose, Emily.

Your parents would be proud.

Merry Christmas.

How'd you do it?

Do what?

There are no secrets from Santa.

How did you get Alan home in time for Christmas?

My ex-boyfriend happens to work for an airline, so I called in a huge favor and

got him on the last flight before the storm hit.

Your ex?

I thought you said that guy was a jerk.

Oh, he is.

Totally.

But even the biggest jerk is no match for the Christmas spirits.

That gave me goosebumps.

Is that strange?

Coming from you?

No.

So how was it?

Greatest night of my life.

Aww.

And it's not over.

I have a lot of presents to deliver, so no.

In fact, do you know where I can pick up some... it's Bauhaus doll furniture.

I feel like the elves could help with that, probably.

That's a good idea.

I do have one more request, though.

Yeah?

What's that?

How would you feel about going on a date with an architect?

Oh, it depends.

Hmm.

Is he handsome?

I know someone who has a framed photo of him I can show you tomorrow and you decide.

All right.

Walk me home.

I got to get back to the sleigh.

Reindeer are a handful this time of night.

Yes, honey!

Mom?

Dad?

What are you doing here?

Well, Florida was fun, but we couldn't be away for the big day.

Oh, I am so happy to see both of you.

The house looks terrific.

You did a great job outside.

Yes, the lawn display is very eclectic.

Thank you.

That's exactly what I was going for.

It's all very familiar somehow.

Really?

Hmm.

I don't know.

Like father, like daughter, I guess.

Did you remember to put the key to the storage unit back in the shoe polish tin?

Wait.

You knew?

I think it's funny how after all these years

you still think you can keep a secret from me.

How was your week, honey?

You know what?

It was exactly what I needed.

Really?

How so?

I just realized how amazing it is what you guys started here.

And I was so proud to be a part of it for one more year, even if it was the last.

Is that it?

You're heading back?

I haven't decided yet, but I am thinking about looking for a place in town.

I mean, I can work from anywhere and I miss home.

That's the best news we've heard in a long time.

Indeed.

How about you guys?

Did you find a place in Florida?

The good news is we found a condo right next to my brother's.

The bad news is their HOA holiday regulations are a total mess.

But don't you worry.

Your father and I are already drafting amendments.

Gail and Albert Melrose just saving Christmas one suburb at a time.

Uh-huh.

And thank you so much for looking out for the place.

It was the best Christmas gift you could have ever given us.

And now we want to give you the best gift we can think of.

It's your keychain.

I... I don't get it.

Those are the keys to your new home on Evergreen Lane.

Are you serious?

If you want the house, it's yours.

We can't imagine it any other way.

I... I mean, yes.

Yes!

I... I love you guys so much.

Merry Christmas, all of you.

Happy Christmas.

Right on cue.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

We've got a big day ahead of us, but come on in for some cocoa.

We wish you a merry Christmas.

We wish you a merry Christmas.

We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Barely 36.

Well, merry Christmas to you, too.

So, thinking about taking their offer?

Well, I mean, the house is amazing.

But, uh, kind of on the fence about the neighborhood.

Yeah, yes, a lot of characters.

Yeah, the HOA is very strict.

Well, if you get in good with their president, he might cut you some slack.

I highly doubt that.

I took an oath to protect this neighborhood, and I'm gonna honor it.

That just gave me goosebumps.

Is that strange?

Not at all.

You had a pen?

Always.

I have a citation for you, Mr. President.

I'm sorry, is there some rule I broke that I'm unaware of?

It's my own little flourish.

That's not how that works.

Punishment isn't too bad.

I'll let you judge of that.

This I think I can handle.

So, in the end, Christmas didn't quite turn out like I thought it would.

It was better.

And I know one new resident who has some ideas for next year's celebration.

The countdown is on.