Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Papa Bear's home now.

Nice back home.

What? Yeah, my ex -husband who cheated on me is moving back in. You guys can

bond while I'm gone.

This is Margaret.

She beats to her own drum.

You're going to Palm Beach next week? Yeah, next week I have to go to Boca.

Can you have dinner with us? Of course.

Your nights are filled. My nights are filled with my girl.

Let's go meet some Boca bitches.

Hello, Boca!

Boca Raton is my second home. I'm gonna do maybe something special at my place,

which is right down the street.

I have a house in Boca. All my best friends live there. Hi, friend!

David! I have to go say hi.

The ghost from Christmas past.

Woo -woo!

Yes, Danielle and I are friends again.

All right, well, I'm back, bitches!

There's some stuff all of us need to discuss.

Kim D? She's a cockroach. That cockroach happens to be my friend. If you keep

kissing her ass the way you do, she's still gonna backstab you.

My mom.

She fought really hard, but the pneumonia was too hard for her.

It doesn't feel real.

It's so pretty.

This cake is not just any cake. It was really personalized and a tribute to

Melissa.

Look loyalty

up in the dictionary, and you'll find my face.

The only life I envy is my own.

I bring the power, the pigtails, and the party.

My motto is, know your worth.

Leave the rest to your plastic surgeon.

If you're not about the namaste, get the hell out of my way.

We're from Jersey.

So classy.

I mean, seriously.

That's all right. It's a birthday cake. All right, take it down a notch.

Go f*** yourself.

Would I throw cake in a restaurant? No. But they were just having a little fun.

So f***ing classy.

You guys are party poopers. Fig, I'm sorry I don't do this. These girls are a

reflection of who I f***ing am. Oh, some people are so uptight.

My Chanel's ruined, and I'm okay.

Let's not kid each other.

My IQ is a lot higher than these girls.

I can't even.

Since you guys act like animals, I'm going to act like an animal, too. You

can go yourselves.

Everyone's emotional at this point.

It's fine.

When I threw the cake, I didn't even think about it. It just happened.

Maybe that was all the stress, you know, losing my mom, Joe not being here. I

don't know. I just had a release.

Next time, you bring your friends to my... In town, you better make sure they

don't act like this. Let's go. You can't bring them then.

Hi,

Baba.

How are my daughters treating you?

Where are you going now?

Oh, you're going to a cemetery. Okay.

I miss talking to my mom every day. And my daughters, you know, they can't stop

thinking about her either.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry.

So my mind's never just going to be, like, carefree.

Love you.

All right.

Bye.

Hello. Hi, Joe.

How was your birthday dinner? It was good. It was nice. We took, like, a

boat. Siggy set it all up, which I thought was really sweet of her.

But then at the end of the night, she got a little bit weird on us, like fancy

pants or something.

She got so mad.

Hey, honey, what's doing? Oh, nothing. I'm a little bit hungover.

Well, your girls get bubble all this night.

I got bubble all, honey. We were all drunk last night, but that's no excuse

throwing a cake. I feel humiliated. I feel disrespected.

I'm hoping that Teresa and Melissa wake up and they call me and they apologize.

I'm very surprised that you're doing shots like that, but how was Melissa's

birthday? We were having fun, obviously, and Teresa picked up the cake and,

like, smashed it on my face, like, in my hair.

It was, like, funny.

This 500 -pound cake that was so beautiful was tossed across the floor

where... Yeah.

She was like, this is embarrassing.

I can't bring these girls to my town.

Like, we're animals. I think she even said the word animal.

No. Yeah. I feel like I'm always thinking about everybody else's feelings

you know, wanting to do the best for everybody else. But I feel like nobody's

really considering my feelings.

Okay.

But I do love you very much and come home already. I mean, this is

I'm coming home.

Why is it when there's a bunch of women in a room, there's always an issue?

That's what women do, baby doll. Just be happy you don't have a vagina. That's

all.

Yo, what's up, buddy? What are you doing?

Making food.

You're making food? You're messing the kitchen up.

What's this?

Did you do this?

No, Mom did that.

Well, Mommy's not here.

You got the clothes out.

How long have they been sitting there, man?

And the garbage cans are still outside.

You got to get your shit together, Frankie.

You got to get it together.

Dad, you don't understand. I'm under a lot of pressure from you. Dude, you're

years old. What are you going to do when you go to college?

Hopefully, if you put an application in. Yeah, I get it. But sometimes I don't

think I get through to you. You're getting through to me fine. Then why is

that your counselor has to call?

I would say Frankie kind of dropped the ball. Is he getting in anywhere? Like,

what am I doing?

You know, I don't know.

There's a good chance that Frankie's not getting in anywhere.

And if Frankie doesn't get into college, I feel like, where did I go wrong?

I'm a failure.

I don't think you're taking this seriously.

And you're going to disappoint me and your mother.

Don't embarrass us. Okay?

Failure is not an option, bro.

We're namaste -ing.

All day.

Going to do yoga.

I'm going to break a cankle. I'm telling you, every time I get in there, it's

like terrible.

Worst against Dolores. I don't know, actually. They didn't answer a group

this morning. Should we just wait? No.

This is completely awkward.

Ziggy introduced me to these girls. And now I'm going with all her friends to do

yoga. I think I'm just going to have to go with it because I don't want to

embarrass myself and be like the geeky new girl. I think she was a little whoop

whoop last night. Okay, I was a little whoop whoop too.

Why does Earhart say that she's more intelligent than anybody else? Then she

saying a lot about me and Melissa because we had a cake fight.

That's what you're supposed to do when somebody's working. I could see if we

into a legit fight or something. We were, like, playing. You were having a

time. Who threw the wine? She did. She did. Okay. I can't talk about it

That was a lot more immature than you guys having a little food fight. No, I

taking it back.

Ziggy's behavior screams control freak. She controlled everything. The cake,

where we were going to eat. But the moment it came out of her control, when

started to have fun, Ziggy lost her.

I think she actually owes us an apology.

Like, I never saw her act like this before. I've never seen it. She did say

has a twin. Right? Like, she's a Gemini. What's her twin called? Soggy?

Soggy Flicker. I'm crying all night. Oh, no!

I love to help people.

Ed. She's torn.

I have a great man. He doesn't like for me to work as much as I do.

I mean, Siggy and Soggy. I mean, that's what I'm going to call it.

With Siggy, it's like New Jersey and Boca. There's two different people. I

I'm just going to pray that the Jersey one comes back because the Boca one is

not so fun.

Good afternoon, ladies, and welcome to the Beach Club.

It's hot. Oh, my God. It's hot. Man, holy.

You guys want to do some yoga?

Teresa, you're certified now, sweetie. Show us what you got.

While I was away, I loved to do yoga.

And when I came home, I ended up getting certified.

I guess I'm going to leave this class since I just got certified. But

she's an expert, too.

All right, so I'm just going to take you guys through a flow.

OK. Just go at your own pace. OK, raise your arms up.

Swan dive down.

And look up. Into plank.

Doing yoga has totally changed my mind. You know, I learned to be positive.

And now we're facing dog.

If it wasn't for my passion for yoga, I feel like Danielle and I would never

rekindle our friendship.

I think we need a little shavasana. I think, why don't you let us do

I'll go this way. I'm roasting, like a little lobster.

It feels good. I feel the blood flowing, the schvitzing happening.

Wow, Danielle, very fast.

That's great.

Oh, you pretzel!

Yeah, she's very flexible. This is why she was engaged, not...

That's my baby.

Hi, everybody.

Yes, what do we want?

I'll have the AB &J.

I want the Dragon Bomb. It's bright pink. I can use pink today. I can't get

head around the fact that I put my heart and soul into trying to make this

weekend perfect for my friends. And in return, my friends...

Embarrass me? Thank you.

Oh, my God. I didn't sleep all night. What happened last night to me was

crossing the line to pick up a cake and chuck it across the room. It's in a

place where, listen, it's my town. I have a lot of friends here.

I do. I understand what you're saying. I understand why you're upset.

Listen, they don't think they're disrespecting you. That's just the way

they are.

I promised I wouldn't cry.

Yeah, I get the cake. I know why she's upset.

But I've seen Teresa throw people across the room, tables across the room. This

is what happens with this group of girls. They're a little different than

Siggy's used to, I think.

And today we're going to go to Lori Konsker's house. A beautiful house with

tennis courts. I mean, she's my best friend.

Somebody doesn't like something that's going on. What are you going to do? Tear

the tennis courts apart? Take the net and chuck it in the air? You have to

everybody a nice little talking to before you get there.

Saying to them, if there's one string on a tennis racket, That comes off, there

will be hell to pay.

Dolores, I love you. I just love you.

Coming up.

Mommy, I miss you so much. Why didn't you leave me?

So we should just sit quietly and text one another.

You know what I feel in that car?

A f***ing attitude.

Abdominals in.

Feels very sexual.

You got a lot of sex on the brain this weekend, baby doll. I know.

Where's my husband?

Okay, are we done with yoga?

I need a frozen pina colada. Where's the waitress?

Sweating under my boobs. All right. Margaret?

Yes? Here's the wreath that you ordered, and the lifeguard is ready when you

are. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Girls, because I know this was like a healing time for you for us to all be

together, I just thought this would be a beautiful ritual as a memorial to your

mom. When someone close to us passes, you set the wreath out to sea.

Oh, my God.

I'm like, my heart's beating.

I have the chills right now.

Years ago, I was away on vacation in Hawaii, and I witnessed the most

memorial to a loved one. Even though I only met Teresa 36 hours ago, she opened

up to me about the death of her mom, and I just felt like we had to do something

special together.

We'll each take a white rose, and we all just write a little note.

You could write your mom. And you could do one for your mom. You could do one

for your dad. I'm going to write to my grandmother.

There is nothing more emotional than losing a loved one. Doing this memorial,

just hope this could help her through it.

All right, are we going to all read these? Yeah.

I'll read mine first.

Mommy, no words can express how much you are loved.

I wish you were here to see the beautiful young ladies Christine and

are growing into.

So we meet again and always. I love you, Mommy.

Dear Grandma, I never really got to tell you how much I loved you and appreciate

you. I know you're watching over us, and I hope you're proud of me.

I love you.

Oh, my God.

Daddy, I miss you so much.

Please watch over my family. I will always be your little girl forever.

Love, Missy.

To Mama G, I will always take care of your son forever.

I love you and miss you, Melissa.

Mommy, I love you more than life.

I miss you so much.

I can't believe you're not here anymore with me.

Daddy misses you so much.

My daughters miss you. We think about you every second of the day.

Mommy, I miss you so much. Why'd you have to leave me?

Teresa and her mother were very close.

And you can see the pain that Teresa's in.

Mommy, you're my everything.

Oh, this is so hard.

It takes a while until you can get to the place of, like, okay, I am going to

just keep living.

Thank you so much. This is really nice.

For Margaret to organize something like this, it truly shows me that she's an

amazing person, and those are the kind of people that I want to surround myself

with. And then we tie it around the rose.

Wow, I didn't think it was going to be that emotional.

Okay.

Originally, in Hawaii, they kind of do it on a boat. It has to stay out and

so we have to take it out far.

So we have to go out on the paddleboard with an instructor. Is that okay with

you, Teresa? Yeah, that's fine, yeah.

One of the most difficult things about grieving is that you do feel alone.

But at this moment, I don't feel alone because I have friends that have also

lost loved ones, and we're sharing this special moment together.

Mommy, this is for you. I love you so much.

So pretty.

You know, Margaret could have never known this, but my mom loved the beach.

It looks so beautiful out there.

It meant the world to me to celebrate my mom, and I know she was watching down

on me doing this.

Look, guys, there it goes.

I love you, mommy.

I love you more than anything.

Thank you so much. That was so nice.

Thank you so much for doing that.

I wish my kids and my dad were here.

Always on your phone.

Hey, I'm going to get rid of that phone one day. Come on. I'm hungry.

Go, ladies.

Ladies? I'm not a lady, bro.

Honey. Open the door.

Get in the house. Get in the house.

Hi, Melania.

Three o 'clock, four o 'clock, one hour late.

My dad, every time he's with me or my sister, he's just reminiscing and

about his wife.

But when the grandkids come around, he lights up.

What's that?

Um, the guacamole.

Booger, booger.

The grandkids are his light.

Gabriella! Where's Gia?

She's with her boyfriend.

I tell you, don't listen to that.

You too, Antonia. No boyfriends allowed. Gia's always with her boyfriend.

What boyfriend?

Antonio, they better be lying.

My daughter, she'll be 48 when she gets her first boyfriend.

48.

All right, grab plates.

All right.

There we go.

How do you love living here with these crazy girls?

You got five women to deal with.

I go back home.

I'm supposed to come here.

I'm all time alone.

Why? Because we're busy.

Where you go?

Your boyfriend.

Boys are no good. No boys allowed.

Yeah, Antonia, no boys allowed.

Those boys allowed leave all you.

Oh, yeah. You're starting to have attitudes now. Back in the day, if I

spoke to my parents that way, I would have got a back smack.

Can I be around boys? You can be around anything you want, brother.

Boys are annoying.

Girls are sexy. Oh, my God.

That's my boy.

Teresa and Melissa have had all morning to reflect upon what happened last

night. Now that everybody's sober, I'm hoping they apologize and say, hey,

we took it a little bit too far. Let's get our tennis on.

I do not look like I'm playing tennis, do I?

Where does your friend live? In Long Lake Estates.

Where were you guys today?

We went to this place called Raw Juice.

Really, really nice.

The tension's so thick you could cut it like with an X, not even a knife.

This could get ugly.

No one's backing down.

They're in the car like nothing happened.

And what did you guys do today?

Yoga. Yoga?

Yeah, we did yoga on the beach.

So we should just sit quietly and text one another.

There's just one thing that can make this all go away, and that's just

to acknowledge, regardless of whether we thought we were wrong, we apologize

that you're upset. But it wasn't happening, because you know what I feel

car? A f***ing attitude.

Coming up... I'm just, like, hoping that tennis rackets don't go flying.

You're asking us to behave properly.

We're going to my friend's house. Please respect it.

Here it is.

Guys,

I'm so excited. But before we go inside, I just want you to know I felt like

last night.

Things got a little bit too far. That cake was flung, like, halfway through

room. And I'm just, like, hoping that, like, tennis rackets don't go flying.

I really want you guys to have a good time, but just last night I felt like it

went too far.

I'm just saying, you're asking us to behave properly.

Yes. Then why are we even coming here if you feel like that?

Consequences for your actions.

They're acting like spoiled brats. Now I have to talk to them like they're

children. They're lucky they didn't get a time out. My point is we're going to

my friend's house. Please respect him, okay?

Let's go.

Lori!

Are you kidding me?

I feel like I'm being schooled. Okay.

We'll discuss it later.

I know.

We're going to talk about it after. Now you're going to school me in front of

your girlfriend's house?

You know, I am classy, but I really want to tell you to go.

Oh, my God. Beautiful. Your home is beautiful.

Let's go outside, guys. I have lunch for you guys.

And we're going to do a little tennis.

This is so beautiful.

Why do we live in New Jersey again?

This is like paradise.

I planned this trip because I wanted to give everybody a taste of my Boca

lifestyle. We eat great food. We relax in the sun.

We play tennis.

Lori and I have been friends for over 20 years, and Lori knows you don't throw

cake across the floor in a restaurant. You actually eat it at the table with a

fork. I don't know if I feel like playing tennis anymore.

Don't boss me around. Now I'm getting aggravated.

I'm pissed at Siggy, but her friend planned this amazing day, so it's not

I'm going to just storm out of her house.

But really, none of us want to be here.

Lori's husband is the number one OBGYN in Boca. She met Kenny at the hospital

Mount Sinai. From there, that's all. She wrote, we're married 23 years now, and

the whole thing. He delivered Sophie and Joshua.

They were both high -risk pregnancies.

So your husband's seen a lot of vaginas.

He sees about 40 a day. Oh, wow. Yeah. And you're the chosen one.

He sees, yeah.

I'm kind of hanging in there.

Siggy, do you want to go inside and chill? Yeah. Excuse me for one second.

Thank you so much for inviting us here. Do you want to eat first? Okay, so we

can maybe start taking a seat. I love it.

Oh, thank you.

So how did you meet?

I need to know. He was pregnant, and then Kenny was her doctor.

And Kenny came home one day and said, I just met the most amazing couple. You

have to meet them.

And we had just moved here, so we didn't have that many friends. And he said, no

problem. Want to meet friends? Oh, that was good. And then that was it, 20 years

later. Oh, yeah, you can't get rid of Siggy once you meet her. I remember Lori

saying to Mark when there were issues, the one mistake that you're going to

is you should never put Siggy in a cage. I don't know how you read it. I just

said you can't cage Siggy. If you cage Siggy, you will lose.

She's a very, like, full -of -life person. Which is a gift, and I love it.

just want to say thank you for having us. I'm actually very happy to have you

guys here in my home and to meet all of you. Enjoy, right?

Cheers. Cheers.

So what are we doing today? Maybe Margaret, Dolores, and I will play.

Okay, great, because you guys have your clothes. Perfect. Oh, okay. Just maybe

we could, like, explore the pool with you. I actually got you your lifeguard.

you have somebody who will actually make sure that you're safe.

Okay, okay, okay. All right, thank you.

I mean, the kind of people I hang out with. When I told Lori that Teresa

swim, Lori's like, why don't I get a lifeguard to come here and teach her how

swim? For me, I want to thank you because I know how Teresa and Melissa

been through the wringer for the last three months. And Teresa just lost her

mother. I'm so sorry. Thank you.

I'll tell you today, we did something very special thanks to Margaret.

She brought this huge wreath of roses and flowers, all in white. It was

phenomenal. And she put a rose for each one of us with a note card.

And we all...

Sat and wrote a note to our lost loved ones. Then we read the note aloud.

Very emotional.

How disrespectful can you be that you can plan a whole memorial and not pick

the phone and call me? I brought you in.

Where's the respect?

Then Teresa took it out. You see?

Really?

Margaret's a guest of Siggy's.

They have a memorial, and Siggy and I are excluded from it.

I've known Teresa and her mom since I'm 16 years old.

That's really shady to me.

All right, so I'm going to get you your towel, and then the other girls will go

out to the tennis courts. Okay, let's play.

Look at this tennis court. You match the tennis court, Sig.

She did that on purpose.

Let me see how it feels to be on a court.

Oh, my God.

Do I look like I'm professional?

You look like Anna Kournikova.

Hi, girl.

Such a trooper, Teresa.

All right, so we're going to work on first your dominant arm, the forehand.

So you're going to shake hands with the racket.

You never played tennis?

I have. I used to play tennis a long time ago. Not in years. Not in years.

She's saying it like it doesn't count.

All right. You're going to take your racket back?

Exactly. Racket back.

All right. So that's baseball. Baseball.

Okay. There we go. You're ready to go, huh?

I have a lot of energy. Yes, I have a lot of energy.

All you girls, show me. Let me see.

Oh, what just happened?

I missed it. No, it's all good. No worry. Let's see.

Ready. Nice. Good one, Sig.

Sig, you're so good.

That was beautiful.

That was perfect.

Yes. You get an extra point.

I'm concentrating on having a good time.

And it's hard because I am sad that I'm fighting with my friends.

Get the frustration out, Sig.

Oh! Mac and Ro in the house!

You know, I can't play tennis, but I wish that I could because I'd love to

backhand this bitch right now.

You better watch out there, Margaret.

Coming up... Who cries about a cake?

Siggy, better known as Soggy Flicker with all the crying. You're like an ice

princess.

He's going to make sure that you're safe and you're good. I can swim, like, at

my own pace.

Let's tell you what, let's go walk in over here.

I'm not usually into blondes, but, you know, you can't really get

past the peck. It's like, hello, who are you today?

Joe's going to kill me.

He's not going to let anything happen. Do you have to grab his peck?

I have to grab onto this guy for dear life because I feel like I'm going to

drown.

But he's really hot, so I don't mind it at all.

Put your head back. Bring your head all the way back. Okay.

Bring your legs up.

I used to do this to my kids. Push your belly up. Try to push your belly out of

the water.

Do not let me go.

Perfect.

You're doing it.

I did it all right.

Yeah, yeah. You said you can swim as long as you're not panicked. So go ahead

and show me what you got. I don't want to sink.

You better catch me before I sink.

Both of you jump in and do me. She's like this.

Melissa and I are just going to watch. Even if she starts to drown, he'll save

her.

Perfect. All right.

Good. Keep going. Keep going.

Damsel in distress, save me.

Thank you so much. It was great. You did amazing. Thank you.

Bye. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Take care.

How did it feel? I mean, the water.

Oh, that sounds good.

Was it hard?

I mean, the swim lesson.

Yeah, yeah, no, because it's going to be walked into the water. Wait, anything

hard? That's the first thing I thought about. I'm like, it's totally shriveled

up. Looking down.

No, but how low?

You walked?

All right, last one. Ready?

Pressure. Get it out now.

Pressure, pressure, pressure.

Nice. Good tennis there. You work your legs, you work your out, picking up

balls. Lori, come here.

I just got to get your opinion.

Okay. So, last night, go out to dinner. Yeah. And all of a sudden, the cake is

presented. Gorgeous.

In the heat of the moment, Teresa picks up the cake. Okay. And throws it across

the floor. Oh, my God. I was embarrassed.

I know everybody in town.

The thing that got me the most mad is that the energy from them was... They

didn't care.

And I'm going. Now, I'm pissed. Oh, boy. I don't know anybody in my world who

operates like that.

Like, I'm sorry.

Finally, I'm talking to somebody who understands me. Because with the girls,

mean, I thought I was in the twilight zone.

I know you love them. I know you have a relationship with them. You can't let

somebody disrespect you. I'm going to have to sit down with them tonight at my

house, and I'm going to have to express myself, and hopefully they'll get it.

Is Ziggy okay?

Like, we walked in today and she was upset. Last night she was upset. Of

she's upset. If Ziggy wants to say, this is my friend's house, I don't want

anything like that happening, that's it. I don't think anybody should be

offended by it. She did say a few things last night I think that got everybody

upset to start out with. She didn't say anything last night she hasn't said

before. What's the problem, even?

Well, she did call them animals last night.

So what?

So what?

She did say, my IQ is higher than half the people in your car. You know what? I

don't know what my IQ is. She may be right about me. Okay.

But it's dismissive. You know what? When Melissa's stone cold sober, she says

things to Siggy that Siggy doesn't always like. Ask Kiss and Kim D, blah,

blah. Margaret needs to learn about loyalty.

When someone introduces you to a group of women, within two minutes, you don't

go against the person that brought her in.

Who brought you is who you stay with.

If we were on the beach doing a beautiful ceremony. Yes, maybe that

patched it up. That would have been a much better scenario.

Absolutely. She would have held.

She would have cried.

I know. She would have prayed.

But everybody's got a cop of attitude now.

I'm getting angry now. Let me walk away.

I in no way had any intention of excluding her from the memorial.

And FYI, the ceremony was about Teresa's mother.

Not about Ziggy and Dolores.

I believe what she said. I can't. I'm so rude. Oh, my God. I was like, why are

we here then? Right. Like, if you think they were going to.

misbehave. This pissed me off more here today than I was pissed off last night.

If someone's going to tell me to behave, it almost makes me want to misbehave.

It's like my mommy telling me, don't date that boy. He's a bad boy. I'm like,

my God, I love him.

I'm not your freaking child.

I don't want to apologize for having fun at my own party.

Hi, girls.

Hi. How was it? Was it good, girls?

I loved it. Thank you.

So we all got to get ready for dinner tonight. Yes. Now I definitely need to

blow out. I know you guys need a little bit more time. So Dolores, would you

mind coming to my place earlier with me and we could set up the place? And then

you guys have the address and you guys will meet us and then we'll have dinner,

okay? Okay, good. I know, I got to shower. I'm like repulsive after our

lesson. Yes.

I love it. That is hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. I love it. Beauty.

Okay, let's go, guys. Okay.

Did you have a good time at Lori's? I did.

I got to tell you something. I was ticked off at Margaret because she's my

friend. I brought her into the group, and she had that whole ritual for

mom. I was hurt because I wanted to be part of that. I mean, they had a whole

day together on the beach, and Margaret should have texted you and said, Ziggy.

You're not here. I'm out with your friends. Is there a reason you're not

We weren't up for yoga this morning because of the way things ended last

so sue us for that. But if we had known about the memorial for Teresa's mother,

nothing would have stopped us from going. So maybe we'll have a

tonight.

When I was on the tennis court with Dolores, I said to her, you know, Siggy

seemed really upset.

I'm surprised she carried on and she reprimanded us. And she goes, I can't

believe you girls even went back at her like that.

Really? Yes.

I mean, now you're getting me heated like Dolores got all heated at me.

Dolores is like a little mini Siggy. I couldn't even get a word in edgewise. I

mean, it's like literally she parroted everything Siggy says. It was like, I

didn't even realize who I was talking to, except that Dolores is a little

But then the IQ thing, same thing.

I mentioned that to Dolores also. She goes, so what's the big deal if she said

that? That's just Ziggy. You have to accept her.

No, not for that. Don't insult me.

If you would have told me that Teresa Giudice and Danielle Saab would have

on the same side of an argument, I would have never believed it.

Oh, this is where she lives?

Tonight, you guys address this with her.

Coming up.

You can continue acting like trash if you want to.

Trashy, trashy, trashy.

Okay.

Hi, ladies. Hello, we're here.

Hi, my love. Hi, baby doll. Thanks for having us. Oh,

look at you. Is this all the personalities?

There's literally a shrine to thinking.

Life -size pictures of Ziggy. Little pictures of Ziggy. I mean, who even has

pictures of themselves in the bathroom?

Oh, this is so cute. Michael and I are here every month. It gets expensive, so

said, we've got to invest in a property here. And that's what we did. Go ahead,

go ahead. I love it. This is the dining room.

This reminds me of your house at home. I know, it's the same decor.

Hi, Dizzy. You know. Hi.

This is sexy chef.

I want to introduce you to my friend.

Good evening. Would any ladies enjoy a spa water?

A little lemon infused with smashed basil? Yes, please. No problem.

Ah, you slapped it.

Slap it, break it.

That's a pretty dress. I figure it's very bokeh. It is very bokeh. It's

beautiful. I'm telling you, I have such a hangover from yesterday.

My head is spinning.

My head's spinning too from yesterday.

Yeah? Yeah.

Wine? Yes.

Teresa, you want red?

I'm getting attitude.

I'm getting chewed. I'm getting the eye rolling.

This is cocoa for Cocoa Puffs.

Ladies, we're ready to have the jumbo lump crab cake.

Okay, beautiful. Let's go sit.

Where do you want to sit? Sandy, where do you want to sit? How's this? Good?

Yeah. Thank you.

Bon appetit. Bon appetit.

This looks good.

Very good.

Sexy chef. This is delicious.

Last night we had some great food.

It was really good. You know what I liked? I liked being

outside.

Really? Like, okay.

Everybody at this table is acting like, oh, nothing happened.

There was a cake roll. We're trying to be considerate. I feel that you, all of

you were rude yesterday.

I had it validated today by that lovely girl, my best friend Lori.

Oh, just throw us under the bus, Siggy. Just throw us right under.

You guys threw me underneath the bus by not apologizing to me first thing in the

morning.

What? I don't understand.

You really thought that after just us being playful with a cake, we were going

to call you and apologize for being playful?

Yes, I did.

Come on. We didn't ruin the night. She's the one who got all upset because of

the cake. So I wanted this weekend to be extremely special, especially for

Teresa and Melissa.

It was about a $1 ,000 cake, three tiers, handed to you on a silver

I just say something to you? Yes. Her putting a little cake on me was just

Maybe you don't have to apologize for the act, but apologize that Ziggy.

You're upset.

And then it would have been over.

Why didn't you call either me or Melissa and apologize to us for the derogatory

things that you said? But I didn't say any derogatory things. You did. These

freaking animals from Jersey not representing me. But you're exactly

We're going to have to explain that they're from Jersey. I never said that.

I'm going to own what I said.

So you're saying you didn't say that now? Listen to me. I was babala, but I

remember everything about last night. We're going to have to. Explain to the

restaurant that we're from Jersey.

Did you have a lot to drink?

No. All right, so do you remember the things that she was saying? I'm not

she didn't say, and I got her back 5 ,000%. I've known Dolores for over 20

now. She's like a sister to me.

And I just can't understand why, when Siggy's coming after me, she doesn't

my back.

But you're not saying she did?

I don't remember it. She's pleading the fifth.

That's called I plead the fifth. And then you said they could go f***

themselves. You also said that. Margaret is trying to make like it a bit. Oh,

Siggy, it's not a big deal. So I said go f*** yourself.

It is a big deal. Why is it that I'm not allowed to have feelings?

Okay, but what if there was like a real crisis? What reaction would you have?

Probably a bigger one. How do you feel about that, Margaret?

I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God.

When I'm at your house and I want to throw a cake across the room, don't cry,

Margaret. I don't cry for stuff like that. Why doesn't that shock me? Who

about a cake?

Ziggy. Better known as Soggy Flicker with all the crying.

You have no compassion.

You're like an ice princess. That was below the belt. Below the belt.

That's what I'm proud of, my crying.

I have been called much worse names than, like, soggy.

How about stripper, whore,

gold digger, family wrecker.

I mean, this is peanuts.

Wait, you gave her a gift.

And the gift should be able to be utilized however she wants to.

So is everybody going to kiss Teresa's ass? You want to crawl up her ass right

now? Oh, no, I won't do that. No, no, no, no, no. Because you guys are invited

here. You're my guest.

I planned a trip.

to my town with my friends.

And I extended the invitation to Danielle and Margaret.

And then 24 hours later, I have everybody besides Dolores ganging up on

You don't get it.

You listen to me.

One more thing that I don't understand something.

No, I understand. Who are you judging you? Why are you judging us?

That's the question.

Why would we be a kindergarten teacher?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You guys are not getting it. No, we get it. We

get it. No, you're not getting it.

You are talking down to us. But you're a pro at that because you always talk

down to me.

I talk down to you? You call me an ass -kisser.

I expect my friends to have a level of class when you're in a public

restaurant. That's like the past hauling the kettle black.

IQ. Don't say stupid.

Don't say we don't understand.

I knew people in this restaurant. This is my town.

Oh, my God.

Remind me to go out with fun people the next time I go out for my birthday. You

can continue going out and acting like trash if you want to.

Oh, my God. Remind me to go out with fun people the next time I go out for my

birthday. You can continue going out and acting like trash if you want to.

There's two things that you do not call women in Jersey.

Stupid or trash.

Uh -uh.

That's what you're saying wrong. No, but I'm safe to throw a cake at a

restaurant. You don't refer to your friends and people you're having dinner

as trash. But I can't walk on that shelf.

Well, I can't hear trash.

I'm not trash.

She's not trash. She's not trash. She's not trash. I never use that word in my

presence again.

Trashy, trashy, trashy.

Are you okay? Are you on drugs tonight? What is your problem?

If we can't see where I'm coming from. No, no, no.

With my own birthday cake that you may have got for me. Putting your hair,

putting it on your nose, putting it here, but chucking it across the

If we did it properly and placed it properly on the face, it would have been

okay? No, I feel like we should never have dinner again. Oh, you did.

Let's not have this meal again. Okay, let's not. Bye.

Bye.

Do you still think I'm going to sit here and have dinner with you? Like, bon

appetit?

Peace. No one calls me and my sister -in -law trash.

Sorry, I'm out of here. I'll make you a doggie bag. Good. I don't want your

doggie bag. The crab cake was salty anyway.

Did she just say the crab cake was salty? Yeah, that was uncalled for.

Okay.

I'm glad I could mooch a meal. I don't even know how to get out of here.

Take care. Bye -bye.

You know what this proves to me?

They don't really give a shit about me.

We started off the weekend as four close friends. Within 24 hours, two new

people came in, Sneaky Margaret and Crazy Danielle. And next thing you know,

there's like a dissension here. What happened?

You're entitled to say whatever you want. Great, but let's eat.

I'm sorry, sexy chef, but I'm starving.

And I thought your crab cakes were delicious.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Cheers. Catch it.

Dolores, we see a cake coming.

Did you call him an embarrassment?

I did, yes.

You owe him an apology then. I don't recall you ever saying you're sorry

met you. I want to take her and pull on those pigtails until they come out of

her head. I don't know if this is soggy, sticky, or psycho, sticky.

I hate this.

Bitch. What?

You're a hypocrite. You should be on medication.

That's not very women empowering.

I'm not trying to empower you. I'm trying to destroy you.

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