Original subtitles

Are you with Mommy?

Yeah. How is she?

She's very weak.

Three months ago, my mom got pneumonia, ended up in the hospital, and that's

when things turned for the worst.

She's telling me, I'm going.

Take care of your kids.

Nothing to do.

Oh, my God. I'm going there. Bye.

Just pray no one is good, okay?

She was the glue that stuck our family together no matter what, and we will

never let her down.

She was an amazing mother, grandmother, friend, and the love of my nonna's life.

My mom, she fought really hard.

But the pneumonia was too hard for her.

Hi, Mom. I love you. I love you, too.

My mom, she was just the most caring, loving mom.

Like this?

She only cared about my brother, me, and my dad.

She's an amazing woman.

Yeah, she... You mean...

Anyway... She was pretty amazing.

Bye, Mom.

Love you.

Okay, I love you too.

Mommy, I'm too tired to go to school.

No, you have to go to school.

Gabrielle, you up?

Gabrielle?

You have to get up, honey.

Come on, Adriana, let's go.

Come on.

Adriana, really?

No. Come on.

You know, it's been...

A tough few years. Me being away, and now my husband's not here, and now my

Here, Johnny, eat. Come on.

Come on. Don't eat those grapes. Those are G's.

Gabriela, you up, babe?

Bacon! We make bacon on the weekends, okay?

I really like how Daddy makes bacon. Mommy makes it too quick.

Joe's been gone now a year.

I just want to go in and get it over with.

I know, I know.

Love you.

Love you, too.

He has a few years left, but he's lost a lot of weight. He's getting his GED.

We try to see Joe as much as we can, but the girls are in contact with him

constantly through email.

He calls every day.

Okay, but I can't go right now. But since Joe's been away, I've been

lot. And you need to get changed.

I mean, the girls, they're all in activities.

So we're really busy.

Oh, you're ready?

Oh,

okay.

Wow.

Good.

Okay.

I have good days and I have bad days. I miss my mom tremendously.

It's hard on the girls to have their dad away, but we've adapted the best that

we can.

I gotta go.

Okay, here you go, baby.

Mom, they're wet.

They're not wet. Oh, because I took them out.

They were hot. It's fine. I don't want them.

Do you want a bar?

No. Nothing.

A banana.

Mom, do you want a pineapple?

Why do you have to do this?

All right, let's go.

Love you.

I'm making you guys sandwiches. Want some turkey?

No.

Daddy's home.

Gino, can you turn my computer off now, honey? Close it. I'm going outside to

play football. Okay. Wait for Antonia.

No. Hey.

Hey.

Joe's been really heartbroken since his mother passed away. Where were you?

Dad's. How is he?

He's doing a little better.

The kids have been really good about giving him space and just letting him

breathe a little bit.

Joe, your dad was breaking my heart. Like, I have never seen a man love

a woman the way he loves her. Like, every time he talks about her, his eyes

up. Let me tell you something. They had a great marriage. They love each other.

I can see, like, in your eyes, you're so tired.

Yeah. I don't like to see you like this.

I never see you with bags under your eyes. I worry about you.

I have to be honest with you, watching your parents, I'm starting to learn

we need less and like go on more vacations and sit around and enjoy each

and enjoy life because see what happens?

With the passing of his mom, just puts things into like perspective.

It makes me want to enjoy life together.

I want to spend more time with the kids.

I don't want to live to work. I want to work to live.

Oh, man, I haven't felt this in a long time.

Love you. Love you, too.

Hello, hello.

Hi, my Gabby. Hey, honey. Hi, my Gabby. Hi, dog.

Hi, you come home, too?

Life, it's like an hourglass.

And the sand is running through.

I love her so much.

Gabby's graduating from college. She got into vet school.

And Frankie, who has been my little shadow for the past 18 years, is going

going away to college. And I'm a little scared.

Now they can fight over you.

You want something to eat, Gabby? Okay.

Who's that?

Daddy's home.

Wow, Frank, look what the bag. He's got his Gucci.

Oh, man.

Yes, my ex -husband who cheated on me is moving back in. Hi.

Welcome home.

Frank and his girlfriend are in the hamster wheel, I call it, of a

where there's an argument that just doesn't get better. So we asked to move

home. Papa Bear's home now, okay?

Gabby hints around about us getting back together, but I'm not going to happen

now. Everything will be regimented now.

Remember, all I'm asking is if things get heated with my Frankie, just try to

control your temper. Frankie's been spoiled by you and by your mom.

Frankie's been the man of the house for 18 years.

Help me move my stuff.

And he is scared lit that his father is coming back.

And I'm so afraid they're going to drive each other crazy.

There's your bed.

What the hell is that?

I don't know. Frankie got it. This is a massage table.

I know.

With a sheet on it. I don't know where to put it. There's stains on the sheet.

No. Time to get it out of here. Time to get it out of my room.

Where's my furniture?

I'm too busy, Frank. I'm working. I have three businesses to run.

I've been so busy lately.

The gym with Maz did so well. That opened up another gym this year.

I've recently had a grand opening.

I love going there and I'm so proud of it. And I can finally say that I'm woman

hear me roar, which is like so cliche. I know, I know, I know, I hate to say it,

but I am.

No, this is not funny. Look at the chihuahua listening to you.

Chihuahua's right now saying, holy shit, is he really coming back?

She's like, look, look at that face.

Daddy loves you. We're going to have fun.

Yes, we're going to have fun.

But we're not going to have fun at a massage table because that's going.

I need a spoon.

Fork, fork, fork.

Honey, I'm home.

Hi, baby.

What's going on here?

Did you make dinner?

I sure did.

Very nice.

You sit here, my king.

Do you want salad first?

Yes. How was work today? Good.

Hi, baby.

Where are you going?

I'm sitting at live. Any boys coming to that party?

No.

Sophie? No, Mom. I tell you, no.

Okay, because I'm showing up there.

Enjoy your dinner.

Thank you, honey.

Call me in two hours.

Honey, she's literally a half a block away. I understand that.

Sophie is our last.

I can't believe in six months Joshua's going to be out of the house. Did he

commit yet?

He hasn't committed.

But I bought all the stuff for Penn State.

I'm starting to feel a little bit of that emptiness syndrome.

I mean, Joshua's going away to college, and Sophie's always going out with her

friends. Nobody's asking for my help anymore.

And it's like, hello?

I'm right here.

And they're like, oh, we love you. Goodbye.

Oh, I got something today in the mail, like a little thing.

Michael, look at this thing. We are.

We are.

I got flip -flops, bathrobes, rugs. I bought a twin -size comforter. I bought

sheets. Honey, his dorm room is like four by four when he goes. There's

to put the stuff.

I know, but it's so cute, and I'm so excited. I hope he goes there.

It's going to be a whole big problem if I got to return all that stuff.

You want coffee?

No, I want to go upstairs.

Nobody's home.

Let's go.

Ew.

Is it cold now?

Yeah. Well, just bring some of your clothes now.

How is he?

It's been a month since my mom passed, and my dad's still feeling kind of lost.

Here, bro, let me give you a box.

I see him cry every day, and I want to make things better, but there's no way

make things better.

He's not here.

Those are yours, Joe. Here.

That one looks like for you.

So I said to Daddy, Daddy, what do you want to do with the house?

I said, sell it.

He doesn't want to. He doesn't?

We're on our way here. Daddy's crying. He's like, every time he walks in, he

sees Mommy here.

So I said to him, what do you want to do? Maybe stay by Teresa's house? He

to stay close.

Are you okay with him?

With you?

Yeah, of course.

I'll be around a lot, so don't worry about it.

Anything in here?

What is this?

Here. St. Michael.

Keep that in your wallet.

By the time I see this, it reminds me of her, right?

I'm sure she prayed when I wasn't here, too.

What?

When I wasn't here that year.

And she came to see me every week.

And then after she left you, she would go to church.

It just doesn't feel real.

I feel, like, numb.

Yeah, let's go. Come on. You can only do a little bit at a time.

But for my daughters and for my dad, I'm trying to stay positive. This is part

of life. You got to just keep moving forward.

Coming up, you're going to bring my clothes to the bottom of the barrel to

D. What a thing to do.

The ghost from Christmas past.

Hey, guys.

Hey. How are you?

Nothing much. Same old stuff.

I thought that we were, like, really busy yesterday. I'm very excited about

that. Yeah, yesterday was actually crazy in here. Oh, my god. Adorable.

I couldn't wait to see this in person because I picked this from a line sheet.

I love that I love everything in here. That's what I love.

Envy by Melissa Gorga is officially all mine.

It feels so fresh and so good again.

Jackie and I decided to dissolve our partnership.

We had two totally different visions.

How about this?

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to be able to sell it. Can't put all tight

dresses in rompers.

No, things didn't work out with Jackie, and it's unfortunate.

It was for the better.

It's just so sad the way it ended. It was on call for.

Right. Jackie, she sideswiped me.

We were working towards our contract agreement, which was liquidate

within 30 days.

And during that time, she snuck in in the middle of the night, took all of the

clothes. She left absolutely nothing in my store.

Thanks so much, Jackie.

And she knew everything that was going on at the time with my mother -in -law.

know. I never felt so helpless.

I violated also.

Really, this is like my baby, and I really love it. And I'm like, thank you

guys. I really am, of course.

Envy is mine.

It's what I worked really, really hard for. And there was a lot of struggles.

I want the old Melissa back.

I'm opening a boutique. Honey, come on, man. You're going to kill me here.

To put the icing on the cake is where she went and took all my clothes.

I mean, you're going to bring my clothes to the bottom of the barrel.

I know. To Kim D.

What a thing to do. You're going to take my.

And you're going to bring it to that bitch's store?

Kim D is my arch nemesis. She actually worked for me.

Really? What does she do?

Well, she danced for me at a gentleman's club.

She's a rat that's always looking for a piece of cheese. And sometimes the rat

comes out of the sewer, and they get the piece of cheese.

How we, like, re -put this back together in...

Three weeks is beyond but really like I can't take full credit is what I'm

saying So I I do appreciate you guys. I really do. Yeah, so thank you, but keep

my tight girl Keep my whole life You

like his shirt I bought it for him yeah, you look nice, and

I bought him these shoes

$10. Maybe tonight you should wear them because you're going out to dinner.

No, no, no. Yeah, you should be dressed here tonight.

Hi.

Oh, thank you.

More flour.

Danielle just sent those. Remember when mommy flipped the table?

That's Danielle.

Prostitution, whore!

I have nothing against her. I just got mad at her at the time because she was,

like, attacking Dina.

Danielle, I mean, we did have a past together.

When I

was away, like, you start thinking about a lot of things. And Danielle never got

a fair chance.

Teresa Danielle actually posted a question.

Now that Teresa worries about her own children finding out about what she's

done, how on earth does she not seek making things right for what she did to

Of course, I've changed as a person through everything that I've been

And I just wanted to see, you know, if she's changed. I reached out to her and

was like, you want to go to yoga? Because I know she's into yoga too. We

yoga a few times.

And she asks about mommy every day, I have to say.

Are you doing okay?

I mean, I'm just going through the motions, you know?

I just feel so bad for you, honey.

I'm here for you.

No, I know, I know, I know.

Do you feel numb right now? Yeah, it's like I'm looking at the clouds right

Say hi, mom.

Say hi to my mom.

What's your mom's name?

Ruth. Hi, Ruth.

That was really nice. She didn't have to ask about my mom.

I'm glad we're reconnecting, but I do worry that she might become a little too

clingy. So, yeah, I have nothing against her. I mean, it's been years now.

Hello, hello.

Hi, guys.

What's up, old man?

You ready?

I'm ready. Let's go, bro. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Come on. Chug, chug.

No one wants to eat.

Relax a little bit.

Have a couple drinks. You need it.

You know, Joe's away.

Teresa's going through hell. She's got four kids. She's got my father. That's

five. So I'm going to step in. I'm going to take my father. I'm going to take

the kids.

Hi, honey.

Hi, pops.

I love you.

Let her hang out with her friends. Give her a little break. She needs it.

Bye -bye, everybody.

We have some vino.

Oh, of course.

Of course. Of course.

They brought Chinese food. They did? You can't have enough. Oh, look at this.

They really brought over food.

I need to have a glass of chemist before you make me stir up.

Hi, honey. Hi,

Dee. Hi.

Hi,

everybody. Hi, Dolores.

I need to know my fortune before I eat because... Why? What's anything new?

Thanks, move back home.

What?

Are you out of your freaking mind?

My ex -husband.

Are you still dating that guy?

Yeah, yeah.

What?

I'm choking.

A couple months ago, I met this really great guy.

He's a doctor and delivers babies, so he's very sweet and totally opposite

anything I've ever been with.

Wait, of course, but when he finds out Frank's there, he might not want to go.

In his mind, he goes, wow, if Frank's home, then she don't have to be home at

night with Frankie and she can stay by me.

If I said to Michael, Mark Flicker's going to move back in. Oh, hell no.

I don't really freaking think so.

Frank is a part of my life, and whoever's in a relationship with me will

have to accept that. He's my best friend, but it seems like everybody else

floored. I don't know why.

Salute, ladies.

Ma, where are you? Oh, she's over there.

To Antonia. She'd be mad that we're drinking right now.

I can't even believe she's still not here. I feel like she's just going to

over tomorrow.

It's like messing with my head.

I'm getting depressed.

I just feel like lost.

That's because you lived at the hospital. Before she passed, my mother

went into the hospital with pneumonia.

She did not sleep alone in that hospital one night because Joe and Teresa took

turns every single night.

You're going to have ups and downs. You're only human.

Teresa's so used to being superwoman. On the go. Right. The point is we have to

live our life to the fullest.

We all need to get away.

Boca? All in favor of going to Boca soon. All in favor. All in favor. I

love to go.

With Teresa having gone through so much in the past year, and with Melissa's

birthday coming up, I want to take them on a little vacation to my hometown of

Boca Raton, Florida.

We're going.

Salute, ladies.

I love it.

Coming up.

The place looks great. Is this my microphone?

Yes, it is. Could you imagine I need a microphone? I don't even have an indoor

voice. Where am I going to be, right here?

Yes, we've got you set up there so that everyone in the room can see you.

Everyone's really anxious to hear what advice you have to give us. The advice

that comes out of my mouth and what I speak about is soup to nuts, the best

thing that you will ever hear.

Over the past year, my book has taken off.

So I go from town to town, and I give these lectures and speaking engagements

for anybody who just wants to be inspired.

Okay, so let's get the bubbles going.

Hi, I'm Ziggy. Thank you for coming out.

Margaret, she beats to her own drum and no one tells her otherwise.

Maybe a little. I met Margaret through Jodi. Jodi works for Margaret.

Jodi has come to 16 of my events so far.

Margaret is animated over the top. So much fun.

Let me speak. I love you for coming. I love it. I know.

Oh, my God. This is fun. I haven't been to one of her events yet. No, I haven't

been to one of her events. Oh, it's life changing. Hi, everybody.

My name is Siggy Flicker, and I do not have an indoor voice.

Excuse me, everybody.

Michael Campanella!

Oh, oh.

Hi, baby.

He's heard this a hundred times.

My philosophy is know your worth.

Truly love who you are, and people are like, oh, Siggy, it was probably easy

you. I look like I'm a sex toy, right? Sorry, Sophie.

When I look out into the crowd and people are hanging on my every word,

orgasmic for me.

I failed at my marriage. I got divorced.

The point that I'm trying to make is a lot of brilliant people have been

rejected. A man's rejection is God's protection.

And remember, follow your passion. And I love you guys, and I want to thank you

for showing up here.

If anybody wants their book signed, this is the time.

Should I frame this over my fireplace?

I'm going to.

I know.

So, Margaret, what's going on with you? I've been traveling nonstop since

Christmas. I'm like, next week I've got to go to Palm Beach. To be honest, my

line is very Palm Beach. Wait, you're going to Palm Beach next week? Yeah,

week I have to go to Boca.

Are you going to Boca? Can you have dinner? Of course.

Okay. Your nights are filled.

All right, my nights are filled. We're going throwing napkins up in the air.

don't know.

What are you packing for? I'm going to Boca with my friend.

That's exciting.

You're so happy Dad's home?

Yeah. That wasn't a very convincing yeah.

I'm so excited about this weekend.

But Frank and Frankie are going to be home together for the first time in 18

years alone.

Don't get Dad pissed off, because I'm not here to protect you. I know.

I know.

Listen, when I'm gone, you're going to be here with Nono. Joe Joe's around, so

if you need anything, call Joe Joe.

Capiche?

Are you looking at me?

Hello.

So I thought, this really makes me look really thin.

It's pretty hot.

I'm not happy. I'm not going to be there for that.

But you understand, honey. Yeah.

We've never been apart for my birthday since we're married.

Unbelievable. It's like bokeh. Do I look like a bokeh bitch?

I don't like it.

This one?

Why do they make them like they go up your ass?

It's a medium.

Literally, you need a large.

Nice.

So I'm Mr. Mom.

You're so hot when you're Mr. Mom. It just turns me on like you wouldn't even

believe. Like I get like, I start to like throb.

My inside. Shut up.

Well, FaceTime. Yeah, you won't.

Can I have a hug?

I'm always a Jersey girl at heart, but Boca Raton is my second home. Where are

we going?

Right there, the white van.

After I graduated college, I lived there for 10 years.

My babies were born there. All my best friends lived there. I have my plastic

surgeons there. And I can't wait to experience everything with my girls.

Let's go meet some Boca bitches.

Hi, how are you? Can you hold my hand? Because I usually fall out of cars.

you. Oh, it smells good.

Hello. So we have three Ocean View suites. I have a house in Boca, but I

want to be running around and cleaning up and doing laundry.

And I want the girls to relax.

So the presidential's right this way. Okay.

Hi, Gianna. Hi.

Sweetheart.

I love you. She's doing her hair for dance.

I love you, too.

Mwah. Bye.

Okay, that's your car.

Wow.

This is nice.

I like it.

I need to go outside.

This is Lake Boca right here.

Nice.

Hello, Boca.

Let me get this champagne.

You have no idea how long I've waited. I haven't had a vacation in so long.

I haven't had a vacation in four years. Wow.

With all the legal troubles and my mom passing away, I wasn't able to travel

more than a few hundred miles.

I'm still on probation, but being able to fly to Florida really makes me feel

like things are getting back to normal.

Melissa and Teresa have been through a lot, and hopefully this will be a

relaxing three days.

Thank you, guys.

Cheers.

Love you.

Guys, tomorrow night we're going to do maybe something special at my place,

which is right down the street.

Perfect. And tonight we're going to my favorite restaurant, New York Prime.

All right, let's go change.

Let's go. All right. Let's go.

Can you glue my eyelash on a little bit and then put my liner back on? Open up

your eyes.

Hi, honey. Hi. Wow.

My girlfriend is here. Her name is Margaret, and I invited her out to

with us.

I call myself the powerhouse in pigtails.

I'm the founder of a multi -million dollar business, the Macbeth Collection

Margaret Joseph.

My aesthetic really is like Lily Paulus on crack.

That's adorable like that, but it's just too elephant dick. Okay. Does it not?

Looks like every elephant dick I've ever seen. I know. I actually run my

business out of my home, and I just love it. My mother works for me.

You know that guy I went out with? He called today.

You're quite the little husband, aren't you?

It's great that my staff and my team come to my house, but it's a little

when my husband and I want to cuddle up in the morning and have sex, and the

girls are right downstairs.

I hear you cackling in the back.

We're allowed to laugh at work, okay?

All you do is laugh. I don't hear work.

Okay, no.

When I met my husband, Joe, we were both married to separate people. He had come

into my life because he's a contractor, and he came in to do our molding. My

marriage was going down the tubes, and we had this...

unbelievable chemistry, and we fell in love. It's on my books.

Bangs are great. Little overdone. Wow.

Leaving my first husband was a very big scandal in our town, but, like, this is

my life, and you know what?

Take me for who I am.

She has pigtails.

I just met a woman with pigtails.

Are you a real blonde?

Well, I don't want to drop my pants right now. I love her.

All right, let's go. Let's get this show on the road.

So excited.

I'm going to eat a steak. I'm going to eat garlic shrimp. You look gorgeous.

Onion rings I want to have.

I don't want to stick my finger in your vajayjay. Sir, can you put on the air a

little bit? Because I don't have a uterus.

Okay, hold on. I've been married for almost 13 years. I've never, ever, ever

texted my husband a naked picture.

Ever. Never have I. And I did it. I can't believe I did it. My first naked

I'm so proud of myself.

Oh, my God. It only took me 12 years.

No one believes it, but I'm really shy.

Yay. Dolores, open up the door right now.

Welcome to New York Pride.

Siggy is the happiest person in the world.

I can't. I need a cocktail.

Teresa and I, if we could have hid underneath the table, we would have.

Hi, Wendy. Wendy, I love you, Wendy.

Wendy. I have to go say hi. Hold on. I can't.

Coming up.

I need coffee and a Bloody Mary all at the same time.

There's some stuff all of us need to discuss.

This is hilarious.

So funny.

You know, when you live someplace a long time, you know everything.

You know everyone.

Hi, Britt!

David! I have to go say hi. Hold on. I can't. Like, I love everybody in this

place, and they love me.

She rules, Boca.

Sometimes my Stiggy gets a little excited.

Easy.

Oh, my God.

Ladies, a bottle of wine.

You guys all like Cabernet? Yes. I stole this from another table. She stole this

from somebody's table. Okay.

O -M -K.

Jimmy! Jimmy!

Yes? Get me the best champagne.

Get me drinks. I need bread. I need you. Let me touch your ovary. You got it.

Okay.

She's got to take it down a notch.

So ladies, are you hungry? Garlic shrimp for appetizers.

Okay. Would you like a porterhouse? Slice it thin?

Yes. Thank you so much. I love you. Thank you.

What did you guys do today? We got here pretty late. I actually did wind up

working. I had a business meeting. My shoe guy from Miami is here.

Do you have a shoe line?

I have a clothing line. We just signed a shoe deal.

I have home storage.

I have stationery.

She's Margaret Stewart. Wow, I like it.

One more, please. Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, my God. These mashed potatoes are so good.

Guys, I need your advice because now I'm going through something really bad.

Really? Yeah. What?

Okay. When I speak to people, it makes my heart sing. But on the other hand, I

have a great man.

He doesn't like for me to work as much as I do.

You're doing three, sometimes four events a week.

Don't you think that maybe you should cut back a little bit?

I'll think about it.

I mean, like, I was not asking. I'm telling you to slow it down a little

I did three events a week.

Now I'm down to two.

It's hard.

You know, it's very hard to balance everything. You know, I got divorced.

My ex -husband and I were growing apart.

How long were you married?

17 years.

It was a big scandal in town. I granted I did run away with the contractor.

It was true.

We were meant to be together.

Here we are talking about our husbands wanting us to quit, and Teresa can't

working.

I like keeping busy. Like, I'm fine with working. Book signings, and I'm

starting my new book. But what I miss most about Jonah being here is the

partnership. Believe me, I mean, I do get frustrated with the situation, and

that's why, you know, with my husband, like, I do get upset.

I'm, like, very hands -on. Like, I always want to be there for my kids.

jump over backwards.

So I hate that I couldn't be there because I was away.

If things were done right, and that's what I get aggravated with, like, you

know, he should have been putting me in.

His four daughters first, then we wouldn't be in this predicament. It just

home now because with my mom not being here, and I'm like, oh, that's what

upsets me.

I needed my mom. I come from a small family, and I just love her being there.

And I love my daughters having a grandma, but because of the situation

put me in, I lost 11 and a half months with my mom.

That upsets me that, you know, I missed out that year.

This is very different for Teresa. She never shows any type of anger that she

has towards her husband, towards what's happened.

So to hear her say it out loud, for me, is like, wow.

So right now I'm going through that. You have a right to be upset. Because when

Joe comes home, be ready to also deal with your feelings.

I'm not predicting the future. I don't know what's going to happen. Like, Joe

better be a changed person.

When Joe went away.

I said, Teresa will never leave him.

She will stand by and wait.

But that was before her mom passed away, and I'm going to take back the word

never right now.

It can't help but just get upset sometimes, you know? You know, it's

you said it.

Thanks for doing this for me, and thanks for all you guys.

you know, for coming, and it was a pleasure meeting you. It was so great

you guys. Thanks so much for having me. I had a fabulous night. Well, watch

this, and I'm inviting you tomorrow night for Melissa Corker's birthday.

What are we doing for my birthday?

I need to know what to wear.

Happy

birthday,

baby. Thank you.

Can you believe I did that?

Hey.

It's my birthday. You're supposed to send me naked pictures now.

No, I'm just going to look at it and laugh.

She actually surprised me last night. She started talking about how she's

frustrated with Joe.

She was kind of expressing herself last night, which is a first for her.

She has a ride home. One of the dance moms is going to take her home.

Gia, are you driving?

Oh,

my God.

Better you, Papa, than me.

Oh, my God.

Love you, Gia.

Love you.

Hi,

Dem. What's going on with this kid?

Frankie's tutor calls me to tell me that she doesn't think he's turned in any of

his college applications on time.

Is he

getting in anywhere? Like, what am I doing?

Hi,

Dee.

Are you crying?

What do I do? If I call him, I'm going to make very big mistakes as a mother

right now.

What his options are now is that you try to appeal. I think that's probably the

best way. Yeah. No, it is. I need to calm down, and then I'll put my head

together in a couple minutes, and then I'm going to do what I have to do.

Debbie, thank you. Bye.

I want to run home.

However, I'm out here in Boca. I need to call Frank and tell him to handle this

since he's home.

But I can tell you one thing. He is not going to be happy with Frankie.

I should have been more on top of it. I should have. I could have. I would have.

Morning, ladies. It's a birthday girl.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Wow. How beautiful.

I'm dying for a cup of coffee. I'm dying more for a cup of coffee. I'm dying for

breakfast. Good morning. Good morning. We all need coffee. Thank you.

I'll do that and a Bloody Mary, please. Yes.

Thank you.

Hi, guys.

Thank you. That's very cute.

Oh, thank you. Oh, Bloody Mary. Yeah, so good. No, I can't do that. Lady,

welcome. You know what?

I'll have a mimosas.

Mimosa, absolutely. And what are our plans for the day? Where's Margaret?

Margaret is going to come tonight. Okay.

The ghost from Christmas past.

I need coffee and a Bloody Mary all at the same time.

That's right, bitches.

I'm back.

There's some stuff all of us needed that's gone.

The ghost from Christmas past.

Hi, honey.

Hi, honey. Hello, my beautiful love.

Happy birthday, sweetie.

I need coffee.

Badly. And a Bloody Mary all at the same time. So, you're back in town.

You're back around.

All right, well, I'm back, bitches.

Never in a million years would I think that Teresa and I would be vacationing

together. Originally, when Teresa reached out to me, I had to give it a

I think she did, too.

And we're seeing where it goes.

We had such a nice time at your party. Did you? Yeah, we did. We had fun.

Danielle did a housewarming party, and she invited me, and she told me to bring

a few of my friends.

Hi! Hi, beautiful.

You look amazing.

Thank you.

Yeah, whatever Joe's doing for you, keep doing it. He's doing it all. He's doing

it all.

It's so crazy, but I really, really like Danielle Saab. Like, I think she's

super cool, and she entertains me. Hi, how are you? Is this your husband, or

you guys? He's my boyfriend, but we're going to push him towards engagement.

Okay. Awesome.

Okay.

All right. 20. All right, guys.

I mean, it felt very natural. Like, we were just picking off where we left off.

I am a little bit more cautious, but I feel like she's a good person, so I've

got to give her a chance.

We should bring Danielle to Boca if we go. We all got along so well, and Teresa

and I are in a really good place. I don't know how long it's going to last,

I'm hoping it's...

It's for real, and I hope it leads to an apology.

So tell me, what's going on in the world of Danielle? I gotta know, I gotta

know. I won't start on the dark side, I'll start on the light side, because

there's some stuff all of us need to discuss.

A person, in particular. Oh, she sits down and gets good right away.

Everyone seems very excited that Danielle Sobbs back. Am I the only one

thinks she's crazy and this could be a problem?

I don't know.

I love it. I love it. Well, I'm with Leo. I don't know. Leos and Geminis get

along really good. Really well, because there's two of you, so I get you.

Michael says, twin number two, can you please go away? I'd like my wife back,

and I have twin number one come out.

I haven't seen that side of you yet. I hope I don't. I've had a little Gemini

me. Oh, in you.

Oh, my God.

You know what? I always like the bad news first because then you can see the

good. I'm sure all of you are aware, maybe you're not, but Kim D.

Oh, yeah, we know this story.

It was like on every news channel.

There was a car registered to Kim D.

It was burnt to a crisp.

The cops found it with two victims inside.

Since they weren't able to identify the bodies at first, Kim was worried that it

may have been her son.

But, you know, everything's fine with her son.

I know. I know. At first, I didn't. No, she didn't either. She couldn't find him

for four hours. Can you imagine?

No. Not even a second. Hours. I couldn't go through that. When you can't find

your kid in a store for two seconds, you lose your mind. Oh, my God, yeah. You

know, I have a lot of empathy for Kim, but, I mean, I haven't seen her since

had me set up to have my hair ripped out of my head at the Country Club.

The last I heard, the big D is coming.

Right now.

We've heard.

I was there, and I got involved.

But I love you.

See, that's nice that she could say that now after that.

Can I just say something? If that's the last time you saw Kim D, God bless you.

Congratulations.

When I'm done, I'm done. I'm done, but the bitch just keeps coming back.

Oh, my God. She's like a cockroach.

She's a cockroach. That cockroach happens to be my friend, too. Oh, will

stop? I am. She's my friend.

Danielle has a head on her shoulders. She can see a cockroach the way I can

a cockroach. Some other people want to pretend they don't see a cockroach, but

they also see the cockroach. They're just in denial or they're too scared.

They're scared.

Ziggy Flickr, respect, friends, Kim D, five years in the making. If you keep

kissing her ass the way you do, she's still going to backstab you.

I have a lot of pride. I don't kiss anybody's ass.

I understand that Melissa and Kim D do not like each other, but what does that

have to do with me?

Melissa, I'm still pissed off that you think I kissed her ass, but we'll talk

about that because it's your birthday and I'm going to walk on eggshells.

some more today.

We could talk about Kim D all day, but we have to get going. Are we going to

clothes? Let's go.

I have Marty's credit card. I'm going to use it. Good for you, Danielle.

Danielle, back in the game.

Gino.

You guys miss Mommy?

Not that much. Because she's mean.

She's mean?

Mm -hmm.

Melissa is the mean parent.

I am the fun parent.

And why would you throw this at Daddy?

Clean that up!

Oh, my God.

Tonya, how do you take this off? Is there, like, a stain remover? What does

use? I don't know.

Go get it. Go get it!

Will you do something?

What? Help me clean it.

Here, grab it.

Looks like pee.

Let's go. Happy birthday, Melissa.

More surprises to come, Melissa. This is fun. Strippers? Male ones? No. Hi.

Are you with us? Yes, I'm with you. Thank you. Thank you.

Hi. How are you?

Thanks for having me.

It's a good thing you got a hot little body underneath.

Hi,

honey. Hi.

Are you okay?

You're thinking about Nana?

All right. It's okay, honey.

I'm sorry.

I miss you. I love you.

All right. Don't cry, honey. Please don't cry.

Even though I'm grateful to be on this trip and it was great for the girls to

want to get me away, my heart is with my family.

You know, I'm still grieving over my mom.

I love you. Okay, bye, baby.

I'm so sad.

She missed my mom. I mean, it's really hard because Adriana is seven and she's

really upset about it. And Melania is 11. She was upset the other day. She

like, tears were, like, just pouring down her eyes.

because she would come over and, like, always cook for the girls.

You know, my heart's breaking for her. I mean, this woman has been through a

lot. This is devastating for these young girls. They shouldn't have to suffer so

much loss with the loss of your mother. I hope this is all they have to go

through.

Coming up.

My husband and I do the pop push. What is that?

It's the spray that you put on your puss, and you're supposed to have the

unbelievable orgasm. Oh, I need that!

Thank you. Thank you. Come on, Melissa.

Siggy's here.

I want to sit next to my sister -in -law.

How we doing? How we doing? Can I make a club soda with lemon yeast?

Seltzer with cranberry. I'd like a glass of red wine. Here, let me give her this

glass. I'm not having one. It's fine.

No, I'll give her that glass.

So I don't know you. I know.

I'm a little bad with outsiders, so fill me in. Do you have naughty intentions?

Naughty intentions? I mean, I'm finding this quite tantalizing. What kind of

naughty intentions are we talking about? Okay, dance on the table, and then I'll

feel better.

Dance?

Maybe because I'm a little controlling, but I also get horrible migraines. I'm

on migraine medicine.

But, you know, I'm naturally high. But I will tell you, I do one little thing,

one little drug. My husband and I do the pop puss. What is that?

It's this spray that you put on your puss, and you're supposed to have the

unbelievable orgasm.

Oh, I need that.

Hello, I haven't had sex in so long.

I mean, we all know where Joe is.

I love orgasms, so tell me all about this.

Marinate 20 minutes like a chicken.

Marinate? Marinate. It'll make you juicy. And does it make it exciting?

Yes. It excites your puss. Do you have it with you now? No, no. I didn't bring

it. I didn't bring it. Well, I'm not going to be fondling myself. We're very

busy.

I've been dying for an oyster.

Oh, my God. We got shots.

Oh, yeah. Bring it on. One, two, cheers.

I love drunk Melissa.

Drunk Melissa's good.

I told my brother that she was dancing with some guy.

Who goes to their brother and says, I'm Joey!

She got in trouble after that? Why? Because me and Joe didn't speak for

weeks.

I used to be a troublemaker.

My husband's insanely jealous also.

I don't like to use the word jealous.

Joe is very old school and he's big on, like, respect.

That, to me, is a turn on.

We were discussing last night how, you know, Michael wants you to, you know,

back. Yes. Do you feel that's controlling?

I think that any time that you marry a man who's a man.

I didn't marry a wussy.

I didn't marry a pussy.

I married a man.

Oh, okay.

I don't even know what that means.

I've looked up the word man in the dictionary. I didn't see the picture of

Michael Campanella there.

Now, on the other hand, I think God gave me a gift.

I think I'm the most talented human being on the face of the earth.

The most talented person in the world?

No.

Has she ever heard of Michael Jackson? Or, like, Madonna?

Who's the guy who invented the light bulb?

Like, there's talented humans out there. I love to help people.

Ed, she's torn.

I'm torn because I'm helping people, and Michael Campanella's not happy, and at

the end of the day, I know what I'm going to choose. But why can't you have

both?

Yes, Joe would love for me to be home in the bed and everything else, but I also

say to him, but that's what makes me happy, and this is, you know, my life.

Don't cut me off at the knees.

I've been through this, and I went through this last year.

It's borderline controlling.

Wait, Siggy, so if he knows that you're so passionate about this and this is

something you love, why does he want to take it away from you?

How do you cut some of your passion? I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't talk

about it!

If that would have went on me, I would have had a meltdown.

I would have had a freakout. Never go white again. I know. Thank you, Jesus.

Saved by the cake.

Happy birthday to you.

It's so pretty.

I had a pastry chef make a cake that was specific. Like, there's a beautiful

picture of Melissa standing in her store with a beautiful wallpaper in the back

that the pastry chef copied.

Melissa, do you not notice? Look, this is the wallpaper.

Look at the front of it. Oh, my god, that's the wallpaper of anybody!

Oh, my god!

This cake is not just any cake.

It was really personalized and a tribute to Melissa.

I love it.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can we just make a toast to Melissa?

I just want to say happy birthday, sister -in -law.

So happy you're in my life.

You're like the sister. I never had I think

So classy.

I would have never imagined grown woman throwing cake.

This was a work of art. It wasn't just like a chocolate chip cookie cake. Just

very disrespectful.

So classy.

I mean, seriously.

All right, take it down a notch.

Go yourself.

Coming up this season on the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

I want to sleep. This is why she was engaged 19 times. That's right, baby.

Wow, that's a lot of muscles in one room. Like that.

Melania. I just want to thank you all for coming to my birthday.

We're in Milan. We're in Milan.

Perfecto. Oh, my God.

Hello. We're from Jersey.

I miss so much.

I know.

What do you know what goes on here when you're not here for 18 years? I really

miss my mommy. I know how it is missing your mother. You are gone.

You know when they say time heals all wounds? It doesn't.

You bought a restaurant.

Yeah. You totally blindsided me here. She's not a gorger. She's only a gorger

marriage. That's my wife.

Bye. Frank has treated me with more respect than Joe Giudice has ever

Teresa on a good day. You know what?

Teresa. Where's the... No loyalty. What's up with this girl? Girl, I never

that. You're a crazy scumbag.

I want to take her and pull on those pigtails until they come out of her

You're one of the ugliest human beings in the world for making fun of me.

Are you trying to say that he cheated on me?

I heard she rekindled him. And I'll slam him.

That's fucking true. You should have fucking stuck up for me. I did stick up

you. What is it?

I would love to grab you by the back of your ass.

How do you say that in Italian?

It was an epic ending. Need we say more?

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