Original subtitles

chiggity-check.

chiggity-check.

Last babysitting assignment chiggity-check.

Entire to-do list, almost complete.

Now just one last check-in with Swift,

and then it's sweet, sweet, sweet

Gabby D personal chill time.

Gabby! Thank goodness you're here.

We have an emergency on our hands.

What's going on?

Ziggy is coming!

Oh, no!

Wait, what?

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle ♪

♪ Fit in like summer and an icicle ♪

♪ Don't fight it, just be an original ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ I roller skate outside the lines ♪

♪ When I try to stay in, it's no surprise ♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind ♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind

♪ So anytime I feel some type of way ♪

♪ Don't understand the human race ♪

♪ So what, so what, so what

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ You do your thing, You do your thing ♪

♪ When we don't fit in

♪ We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud ♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only ♪

♪ Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, I do my thing

There we go. Airtight.

I don't get it. Who's Ziggy?

Jeremy's best friend from Gor-Monia.

Now, Ziggy coming here is the worst thing

that could possibly happen.

But isn't it good for Jeremy to spend time with his friends?

Yeah, Principal, isn't it good for us to spend time together?

Every time Jeremy and Ziggy get together,

they cause what is known on Gor-Monia as extreme ruckus.

Okay, so they're rowdy?

No, Gabby, they're extremely rowdy.

I've had no less than eight near-death experiences

in their presence already.

That has to be an exaggeration.

Oh, no.

Ziggy and I get into it, Gabby.

Real into it.

You feeling ready, old-timer?

He's been eating steak dinners all day

just to have enough energy.

Please, Gabby, stay here and help me weather the storm.

Yeah, no can do, Swifty,

this just happens to be my "Gabby D Stay Fresh, Re-Fresh Weekend."

Stay fresh.

You think it's easy being

this fly all the time?

It's not. I basically run a marathon of dopeness

from when I wake up, till when I go to sleep.

So once a year, I embark on the ultimate 48 hours of self-care

in order to... recharge my soul.

First, I nest up in the most comfy chair

you can possibly imagine,

which I keep in the basement

for just this occasion.

In one hand, cereal in a cup,

because a bowl can't get that perfect

milk-to-flake ratio, you know?

In the other hand, my phone,

so I can spend the entire 48 hours non-stop scrolling,

looking at food, shoes, food on shoes,

shoes on food, all my favorite things.

And layered over all that like a warm chocolate ganache,

a British baking show on TV,

slowly kneading and brulee-ing my troubles away.

Gabby! Yes, sir, it's going to be quite--

Gabby! I beg you to reconsider.

You don't want my near-death on your hands, do you?

I'd really like to stay and help,

but absolutely nothing is going to get in the way

of my "Gabby D Stay Fresh, Re-Fresh Weekend."

Mm, so energizing.

What up, dud-butts?

Whoo! You miss me?

- Ziggy! Ah.

Guess what?

This planet has so many different types of fire.

Oh, yeah, it does!

What's up with your butler? - It begins.

It was me against the beast.

I could hear it taunting me.

But defeat was not an option.

So I dug deep.

I rolled up my sleeves and I made darn sure that monster

never made another peep ever again.

So you fixed a squeaky chair?

No, I saved a squeaky chair.

All in a day's work when you're Senior Executive Liaison

to Intergalactic Affairs.

No offense, but...

it sounds like you just do all the dirty work

that the aliens around town don't want to do themselves.

What? No.

I'm the glue that holds this whole operation together.

However, I currently have a lot on my plate

so I'm looking for a little help

with all the various jobs I have around town.

So what do you say?

You want to be Junior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs?

You get to handle a lot of alien goo if that sweetens the deal.

And why would that sweeten the deal?

I don't know, I... took you for a goo-head.

Well, I have nothing better to do, so...

- sure? - Yes!

Oh, I hope you're prepared for the most exciting day

of your life.

I'll get the paperwork ready.

Yay.

Mom's working all weekend,

Olivia's doing... whatever she's doing.

Looks like it's time for a little sit, snack, and scroll.

You should see the look on your dumb, scared face.

Ha! Classic. You scream like an idiot.

So, I take it you're Ziggy?

Yeah... Principal kicked us out.

But don't worry, we're going to stay with you now.

So, uh, what's up with this Earth fire

I keep hearing so much about, huh?

What do you mean, Swift kicked you out?

He could not handle the ruckus.

He crumbled faster than a Vataxi'an cracker.

It was funny how sad it was.

But also sad how funny it was.

Well, I'm sorry, but you can't stay here.

I sort of have plans.

-"Gabby D's Stay Fresh--" Stay Fresh.

We understand that.

But we also understand Principal gave us

this note to give to you.

"Dearest Gabby, I just can't do it.

"You have to. Sincerely, your friend--

No, your boss, Principal Principal Swift."

Oh, come on!

Don't worry. You won't even know we're here.

Somebody put a bunch of glass in your weird household.

Don't worry, I broke it.

So, as you can see,

we've had a bit of ruckus in here.

Hmm, uh-huh.

Ick! Not good.

Ooh, yeah. Big time.

Well, don't worry, it's nothing we can't handle.

We?

Uh, hi?

Well, how long have you been there?

The whole time.

I'm Junior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs.

Well, get bigger so I can see you.

I'll leave you to it then. Godspeed.

Wow, that is some stubborn jelly.

Also, not sure that's jelly.

Ew.

Gotta say, this really feels like dirty work to me.

Are you sure you're the glue that holds this operation together?

Absolutely.

Hey, do you think you could grab me some

Pra'axian stain remover from upstairs?

This maybe-jelly is not messing around.

Yeah, sure thing.

Who am I kidding?

I'm not the glue.

I'm just the guy that cleans up the glue

after whatever it is the real glue guy does with it.

Hello?

Senior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs?

Uh... yeah?

Salutations, Earthling. We are the Deletion.

We traverse the galaxy looking for planets to delete.

- Uh-- No questions!

Interplanetary Treaty - Article 3 - TJ7.F.9 dictates

that every planet should be given a chance to defend themselves.

- But-- No questions!

As Senior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs,

you speak for all Earth's people.

You must explain why your planet should not be deleted.

I--

You have two hours to prepare your case!

Oh, okay.

You ate more of that maybe-jelly, didn't you?

Okay, here we go.

Jeremy and Ziggy are eating lunch.

Time to kick back and--

- Ham catch! - Oh, hey!

Oh, oh! This is fun!

Ham-Ball is pretty much the most popular Earth sport you're gonna find.

You know so much about this planet.

I value you, bro.

Change of location, but I can still do this.

Okay, here we go. Stay Fresh. Refresh.

- Stay fresh, refresh!

Stay fresh, refresh! Hey, hey!

I thought I said to go play outside!

Yeah!

- Okay, this is still relaxing.

Right? Right.

Doorhunters!

I work hard all year round,

and all I ask in return is one weekend to myself,

just a little time to refresh so I can stay fresh.

And no offense, you're tearing my soul apart right now.

So, I'm begging you, please, from the bottom of my heart,

just give me a little space.

We understand.

You do?

You hate friends and friendship.

What?

What is it about the laughter of children

that makes your skin crawl,

you bitter, old, alone woman?

Okay, that's harsh.

You've changed, Abby.

You've really changed.

You don't even know me.

No, Abby. You don't even know yourself.

Don't worry.

We won't be bothering you anymore.

What?

So they said you had two hours to save the planet?

Yes, that is correct.

And they went to you

because you're Senior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs?

Also correct, yes.

You know, you don't have to make stuff up

in order for people to think you're important.

Mm.

But I'm not making it up.

Wesley, everyone values you very much.

And it is because you are so highly valued

that I need you to unclog my toilet.

Right away, please.

Fine. I'll just have to handle it myself.

Right after I unclog that toilet.

Thank you.

Can't believe those two tried to make me

feel bad about my "Gabby D Stay Fresh, Re-Fresh Weekend."

I deserve this.

Nope. Not gonna answer that.

- I guess he--

Jeremy, what's up?

You need to get here right now!

Okay, so what's the big--

So I kind of blew up.

Um, explain now.

Well, after you screamed at us for 45 minutes

and told us to leave your house--

- Not what happened. - We had nowhere else to go.

So we came here to Blurt's.

How's it going? Check it out.

We got sushi now. Huh?

- Hot and fresh.

Okay, can we get to the exploding part, please?

Well, this Blorg over here had some root beer on his shelf,

so I dared Jeremy to chug the whole thing.

Yeah.

You know root beer makes you blow up.

Ziggy and I never back down from a dare.

You owe me a hug.

Well, where's the rest of him?

He has it.

Sorry. Store policy.

Anything that explodes on the premises

becomes property of Blurt's.

You want to get your friend back,

going to cost a pretty penny.

85,000 dollars.

What? No, no, no.

You can't do that. He's like royalty.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. 85 million dollars!

Mm.

Okay. Okay, you can do this.

You still have like...

two more minutes.

Okay, so why should those weird alien guys not destroy Earth?

Oh, I can't do this!

I'm a failure.

No.

No, you're Senior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs.

You're the glue.

Your time is up, Senior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs.

Inform us why your planet should not be deleted!

You want to know why you shouldn't destroy Earth?

I'll tell you why.

Majestic mountain tops, shining seas dazzling in the sun.

Baby otters, baby crocodiles, baby armadillos.

Burgers where both buns are grilled cheese sandwiches.

And for 10 seasons they do this,

"will they, won't they?" thing with Ross and Rachel.

But you know what? It works.

You ever done a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle?

That feeling when you click in the last piece.

We've got a canyon so grand.

Oh.

It's the thumb.

But what really makes Earth special are the people.

The friends, the family.

And that's worth saving.

Thank you.

Request denied! Activate the laser canons!

- What?

Did you not hear a word I just said?

- Planet deletion in five, four, three, two--

- Wait, stop everything!

My chair is squeaky.

I cannot concentrate until this nuisance is deleted.

I always carry a little extra chair grease on me

just in case of emergency.

Let me just-- Yeah.

Now try it.

The squeak has been deleted!

You have saved my chair.

Congratulations, Senior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs.

You have proven your people's worth.

Your planet will be spared.

Wait, for real?

- Just be-- Be gone!

Whoa.

Come on, Blurt, this is really starting

to cut into my relaxation time, man.

I'm sorry, but this canister of goo is property of the store

and there's absolutely nothing that anyone could do

to convince me otherwise. Nothing.

If you're not going to buy anything,

I will politely ask you to continue hanging out here

until you feel like buying something.

Sorry, Gabby.

Guess we ruckus-ed a little too hard.

Hey, do you mind?

I'm trying to enjoy a little re-fresh weekend here.

Stay fresh.

You know what? Don't be sorry.

You're kids and kids get nuts

and best friends get nuts.

It'd be sad if you didn't.

So you know what I think?

That you really messed this up and this is all your fault.

No. Ziggy, Jeremy's head,

I think it's time to bring the ruckus.

The what-kus?

Ah!

Doorhunters!

Gah, my pants!

These are 75% rayon!

Whoo! Are you ready to bowl, baby?

You know it! Whoo-hoo!

Whoo! Go!

- Go!

All right, all right, all right! Fine!

Take it. Take anything you want, just get the ruckus out of here.

A pleasure doing business with you.

So, after much thought,

I've decided that the life of Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs

just isn't for me.

It's okay, kid.

This job, it's serious business

and not everyone's cut out for it.

Wesley, the toilet!

Right away! Sorry, kid.

I've got a job to do.

Where is the Senior Executive Liaison to Intergalactic Affairs?

You mean Wesley?

No questions!

He just saved your planet from complete annihilation.

Also, he forgot his chair grease.

He is Earth's greatest hero!

Whoa.

I got to fill out that paperwork.

Man, I am tired.

Being just a head and then having that head smashed

into a bunch of stuff really takes it out of you.

This feels nice, though.

Hey, sometimes all you need

is a little Stay Fresh, Re-Fresh.

Stay fresh.

And sorry again if me and Ziggy ruined your weekend.

Don't sweat it.

I guess some people are just born to ruckus.

Hey, where is Ziggy?

Uh, guys, I exploded.

Now you owe me a hug.

Oh, come on!

Next time on "Gabby Duran & the Unsittables"...

- Sup, Swifty? Gabby, I have grave news.

Are those my sneakers in there?

No! No!

Someone murdered my shoes. I want to know who.

You don't think it was one of us, do you?

The plot thickens.

Gorgeous.