Original subtitles

- Understood. Yes.

Thank you for your time.

I apologize. I-- I won't call again.

Well, mom's boss seems pretty sure she didn't get a promotion,

so we can cross that one off the list of reasons why she's so happy.

We're not being crazy, are we?

Do you remember this morning?

♪ I'm in a good mood

♪ Estoy feliz

♪ Estoy feliz ♪

♪ Dina, estoy feliz

You're right. She's way too happy.

Something's up.

Well, according to the board,

the only possible explanations left are...

that she has a boyfriend,

or that weird friend from college is coming for a visit.

"Definitely not visiting.

"Can't get into it right now, but my life is a wreck.

Sincerely, Fun Carol."

- You don't think-- - I got a boyfriend!

♪ Oh, yeah♪

♪ I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle♪

♪ Fit in like summer and an icicle♪

♪ Don't fight it, just be an original♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh♪

♪ I roller skate outside the lines♪

♪ When I try to stay in, it's no surprise♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind♪

♪ So anytime I feel some type of way♪

♪ Don't understand the human race♪

♪ So what, so what, so what♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing♪

♪ You do your thing, You do your thing♪

♪ When we don't fit in♪

♪ We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing♪

♪ I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only♪

♪ Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in♪

♪ Mm-hmm, I do my thing♪

It's almost six! Doug's gonna be here soon.

I'm so excited for you both to meet him!

Us, too! So excited!

Okay,

Mom's gone on plenty of dates since the divorce,

- and that's fine with us. - Totally fine.

She's a strong, independent woman.

She can do what she wants.

Exactly. However, she's also a queen.

Stone-cold queen, period.

And as a queen, she deserves nothing but the best.

Remember the last guy she dated,

Cockatiel Luke?

He was not the best.

No, he wasn't. And it's gonna be up to us

to help Mom realize that this new "Doug" guy isn't the best, either.

- Now, you ready?

He's here!

Let's do this.

I'm serious! I spent the rest of my trip

cleaning honey out of spots I didn't even know I had!

Is it just me, or does Doug kinda seem like the best?

We'll see.

So, Doug.

Have you ever had this kind of food before?

Or would you say being culturally adventurous with cuisine

is not really your thing? Hmm?

Are you kidding?

Homemade cachapas and hallacas?

With tres leches cake for dessert?

I love Venezuelan cuisine.

I mean, look at this amazing spread!

I can't believe you made all this.

I mean, I should be cooking for you!

I don't know if you girls know this or not.

But your mom's a queen.

Aw...

You don't have to tell us she's a queen.

- We know she's a queen. - Mm-hmm.

So how about pets?

Got any, uh, weird pets?

Snakes? A lizard you let sleep in the bed?

Yeah Doug, tell us about your bed lizard.

Does it have a creepy little lizard pillow?

Uh... no.

So, you hate animals.

- Doug, please ignore them. - It's fine. It's fine.

I volunteer at a farm animal rescue every Sunday.

You haven't lived until you've hugged a cow.

Aw!

What?

It's undeniably precious.

- This is Jeremy. - And that's Wes.

And together, we can...

"Tame the Wild!"

Camp stuff.

Rope stuff!

Did someone say fire stuff?

Jeremy : And for survival purposes,

drinking our own pee!

That is not safe!

It's not really pee. I'm just saying that.

And that's how we'll... "Tame the Wild!"

Honestly, I have no notes.

"Tame the Wild!" is definitely gonna pick us to be contestants.

Survival-based reality television, here we come!

Now let's upload our audition

before Jeremy, Jr. asks to be a part of the team.

What was that?

- It says I got Swift's password wrong. - Hmm?

JeremyRocks123.

JeremyRules123?

Oh, right! Lowercase J.

No, no, no, no! Oh!

Uh, buddy?

What just happened?

We're locked in for the next 48 hours.

From a password fail?

I don't get this Doug person.

- What are we not seeing here? - Is it possible

that there might be someone out there

who actually is good enough to date Mom?

Uh-uh. This has happened before.

She gets her hopes up, and ends up crushed.

Something's up with this guy. I can feel it.

Well, he likes luchacos.

Hey! Doug!

That was rude.

He acted like he didn't even know us.

Also, I thought he and Mom were on a date right now.

- Let me call her.

- Hi, girls. Everything okay?

We're fine.

- We just wondered why-- - Hey, girls!

I just wanted to say it was great to meet you yesterday.

18 mondo burritos

for Doug?

Ooh! Burritos!

Yes!

Good to talk to you, Doug. We gotta go.

Maybe they're twins?

Twins with the same name?

I don't buy it. We're following him.

Okay, Doug.

What are you hiding?

Oh...

yeah...

Hey! What are you doing out here?!

- Whoa!

What's all the screaming for?

- What? - Huh?

Thems two was peekin' on us!

That's a whole lot of Doug.

So, let me get this straight.

You're aliens, and you're dating our mom?

Nope. Wrong!

Doug Prime is dating your mom.

Doug comes from the planet Dougulon XII.

Which is so rad.

He wanted to take a vacation here,

but Dougulon XII is like, super far away.

So to keep himself company on his trip,

he made a few clones of himself!

But it turns out Doug's cloning technology wasn't entirely up to date,

so we all came out a little different.

I'm angry!

Ugh! I hate this wall!

- Ugh!

I'm expecting.

Ew.

I think it's a Doug.

And I'm best friend material.

That's Creepy Doug.

He's not best friend material.

So... you're all clones?

Ah, ah, atchoo!

Okay. You're all clones.

But why is Doug Prime dating our mom?

Because apparently she's a queen!

We just wanna go home.

But Doug Prime doesn't wanna leave,

because he likes your mom so much.

One moment while I sidebar with my sister.

Honestly, this is the best thing we could have hoped for.

We obviously can't have Mom dating an alien.

- So we can break them up. - So we have to break them up.

We have to break them up.

Aah!

Okay, then. We work together.

You Dougs talk to Doug Prime.

We'll handle our mom.

Aah!

Help! Swift! Let us out!

What's he even doing?

-♪ Bath time's the best time

♪ Gonna bathe myself a long time ♪

♪ I'm a pruny little bath boy... ♪

Well, I guess there's only one thing we can do now.

Get weird and cry together?

No.

We use our survival skills to get through this!

Don't you see? This is the "Tame the Wild!" gods testing us!

To prove that any survival-based reality show

would be lucky to have us as contestants.

You beautiful, brilliant man.

You're right.

But if we're going to do this,

we have to trust each other completely.

Work seamlessly together, as a team.

A two-headed survival dragon,

united hand-in-hand,

so there's no telling where you end and I--

It's my canteen, and I want it!

You touch it and you'll get a face full of spear!

Look, there's no easy way to say this,

so, we'll just have to say it.

Doug is no good for you.

- What? You don't like Doug? - Nope.

- But he's so-- - Nope.

he's too nice.

And what about the thumb dilemma?

- Thumb dilemma? - His thumbs look like big toes.

We just think it'd be easier on everyone

if you just let this one go now,

before anyone gets hurt.

I think I see what's going on.

Girls, I know it must be hard for you,

me having a new boyfriend.

But nothing is going to change between us.

I'm always gonna love you two, no matter who I'm dating.

- But-- - But...

Doug is great.

Just give him a chance, and you'll see that, too.

Just try to sneak up on me now, Wes.

If that is your real name.

Jeremy! We need to talk!

Temporary truce!

This better not be a trick.

I know our people are at war, but...

Do you have any food?

I'm starving.

We've been down here for over a day

and I ate all my rations hours ago so you couldn't steal them.

I'm pretty hungry, too.

After you threw your boot at me,

I pretended the shoelaces were noodles and ate them.

But I knew they weren't noodles.

So what can we eat?

There has to be something.

Don't think less of me,

- but-- - We need to catch and eat Jeremy, Jr.

Hey, Jeremy Jr.

Don't mind us.

We're not gonna eat you. We're just gonna pet you. Ha.

Did you know it could do that?

Probably. But I know a lot of things that I immediately forget.

We struck out with our mom. Ugh.

She's Doug-blind. How'd it go on your end?

Did you convince Doug they need to break up?

Uh... not exactly.

I did not see that coming.

What happened?

We told Doug to break up with Dina,

but he kept giving us good reasons why they shouldn't.

Yeah, the way he described his time with her was just so magical.

We all wanted Dinas of our own!

- Aah! Hit that wall!

This is crazy!

You can't just go around making copies of people!

- But we like it! - It's the best.

Thems two is peekin' on us.

Where's Doug Prime? I need to talk to him.

Doug didn't want us to clone Dina.

So we tied him up.

Hey, girls. I'm sorry about all this.

This is not how I wanted you to meet my family.

Yeah, Doug, this isn't exactly going as planned

- for any of us right now.

It's our mom! Our real mom!

Hide!

You! Answer the door.

Ooh!

Come here!

Dina! What a pleasant surprise!

Hello, Doug. Um, can we talk?

Uh...

Sure! Uh, let's talk.

Maybe we walk, too.

A nice walk and talk?

No. I'd rather do this now.

Uh, okay...

Doug...

I think we need to break up.

Well, buddy, this is it.

- I guess we stink at surviving.

You ready to just give up and become Blurble food?

Wait. That's it! Give up.

Remember on "Tame the Wild!" episode 312

when that Kodiak bear was about to attack Yukon Mike Gables?

- He played dead until the bear went away. - Yeah!

We need to play dead.

Oh, no!

We're... dying...

It's working.

Aah!

- Jeremy!

This is terrible! Even its tongue hurts!

- Jeremy! "Tame the Wild!" lied to us.

I'm sorry, Doug.

My daughters are very important to me,

and it's clear they just aren't ready

for me to get serious with anyone.

Oh... Right.

I thought they just needed time to adjust,

but... I think maybe I was just being selfish,

because I really, really like you.

But the timing just isn't right.

I get it.

I'm not gonna say I'm not disappointed,

but you have to think about your family.

Thank you for understanding.

Goodbye, Doug.

It's not fair!

- Makes me-- - So mad!

Wow, Doug.

I didn't realize you were so into our mom.

She's a queen.

Doug, it's possible

we were wrong to break you and our Mom up.

It's clear she really likes you.

And, as much as I hate to admit it, so do I.

- Me, too. - Really?

But, if we help get you back together,

do you promise to never tell our mom you're an alien?

Or, you know...

Take your fake ears off in front of her?

I hate these head flaps,

but I'd do anything to be with her.

Okay, then.

Looks like we've got a relationship to save.

Jer-Bear?

- Ugh...

Oh!

Lockdown disengaged.

Well, I've completed my two-day scrub down,

and I have got to say that--

You two have been watching "Tame the Wild!" again, haven't you?

I am adjusting those parental controls!

Ooh! Oh...

Have they been terrorizing you?

Uh-huh!

Girls! Are you okay? What happened?

We're fine. We just... had to get you here.

"We need your help. There's so much blood."

Then the skull emoji.

- Mmm? - Ugh!

All right. Fine.

I'm here. What's so important?

Wait! Where are you going?

- Hi. - Doug?

Mom?

Liv and I were wrong to get in the way of your happiness.

The truth is,

we just didn't want you to get hurt.

But you kinda ended up getting hurt, anyway.

We shouldn't have tried to break you and Doug up.

Wait, how did you know we broke up?

Let's not focus on that,

and start focusing on giving Doug another chance.

Well, if you're willing to give it another shot,

then I am, too.

- We'll give you some time to get reacquainted. - Mmm.

Mmm! So good.

This is definitely what I'm gonna miss most about Earth.

Thank you both so much for all your help!

We appreciate it!

So much!

Don't mention it.

Are you sure you're all gonna be okay without Doug?

Now that we have our Dinas, we'll be fine.

Well, we'll be seeing ya.

- Tell Doug to keep his head flaps on.

Ooh-ooh-ooh!

Are we 100% sure it was a good idea to send

a bunch of Mom clones out into space?

We sure aren't, Liv.

We sure aren't.

Next time on "Gabby Duran and the Unsittables"...

We're gonna nail Halloween this year.

- The fright master's back!

He pinpoints your fears, so he can craft a specific terror

-just for you!

A Vexatonian? They ate all those humans!

- I'm too fly to die!