Original subtitles

I can't wait for Heritage Night tomorrow.

Every cultural club getting together

to celebrate the beauty of diversity?

- What could be better than that? - I'll tell you what's better.

All those sweet, sweet, sweet

free samples.

I believe you mean carefully crafted exhibits

of traditional cultural cuisine.

Call it what you want.

I'm lining my backpack with plastic

and filling it with free food.

What's that sick heavenly music?

Whoa...

Students of Havensburg Junior High,

I, Santi Garcia, president of the Latino Club,

invite you all to come check out our room

tomorrow during Heritage Night.

There'll be empanadas, papelón con limón, and salsa.

And, no, I'm not talking about the dipping kind.

- Who are they? - They're the Latino club.

- I thought clubs weren't your thing - That's not a club, Wes.

That's la cultura.

My cultura.

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle ♪

♪ Fit in like summer and an icicle ♪

♪ Don't fight it, just be an original ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ I roller skate outside the lines ♪

♪ When I try to stay in, it's no surprise ♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind ♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind

♪ So anytime I feel some type of way ♪

♪ Don't understand the human race ♪

♪ So what, so what, so what

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ You do your thing, You do your thing ♪

♪ When we don't fit in

♪ We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud ♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only ♪

♪ Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, I do my thing

So, you're doing the Latino Club?

Those are my people, Wes!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Havensburg,

but it doesn't exactly have the Latino population Miami does.

Plus, I told my mom I'd get more into my family's culture,

so this is perfect.

What's that awful smell?

That's the smell of six months

of commitment in candle form.

- It's me and Sky's anniversary today.

She's always wanted to visit New York City,

so I put the whole city inside the candle for her.

You can smell everything,

from subway rats to the pizza rats!

- She's gonna love it. You know,

they say the nose is the heart of the face.

Well, it's definitely a gift.

I just hope she doesn't feel too bad

when her gift isn't nearly this cool.

Gotta go. Good luck with your stink candle!

It's a love candle!

Que tal?

I saw y'all earlier, and wow.

I immediately was like, where can a girl sign up?

You think just 'cause you're Latina,

it means you can join the Latino Club?

- Of course it does!

Allies welcome, too.

LOL, you got me.

Just meet us at the Spanish classroom, room 107,

- after school. Okay? See you there. - Bye.

Ugh! How am I still smelling that candle?

She transported us all the way to the Red Planet

for a Martian sunset.

For years, man has dreamed about seeing

a sunset from space.

It was unlike anything I had ever seen.

Hold up, hold up.

She got you a Martian sunset,

and you got her a chunky heap of fart wax?

- You beefed it, bro! - I know I beefed it!

It was so lame compared to her gift.

So, I bought myself some time and told Sky "her real gift"

would be delivered to her house by the stroke of midnight.

Ooh, midnight!

I know! It sounds cool, right?

Oh...

I hear you're having...

Love issues.

Well, fret no longer.

You came to the right guy-- Ah!

Oh. Ever get scared of your own thumbs?

Anyways, what were we talking about?

You think you can help me find

the perfect gift for my girlfriend?

I know so!

Go ahead. Flip through.

Alien flowers?!

- That's the one. - The Solis Petalis. Great choice,

but I just sold the last one.

Oh. Uh...

- What about this one? - Order's backed up.

- This one? - Extinct.

Here.

No... No... No...

Ah-ha!

This one is the one you want!

Your girl will love it or your money back, not-so-guaranteed.

I'll take it!

Mi gente, meet Gabby Duran.

Hola, Gabby.

Every one of our members

has gone through "The Seat of 1,000 Questions."

- It's just a quick way for us to get to know you. - Sounds good.

Hi, everyone. I'm Gabby Duran,

uh, second generation Venezuelan,

born in Miami, Florida.

Venezuela! What part is your family from?

Uh, the part with the... the trees and the rivers?

I-I think it starts with a C...

There's a bunch that start with a C.

Cabimas, Caracas,

Carupano.

Beautiful rivers and trees?

Oh, you must mean Canaima!

Yep! Th-that sounds about right.

I love your style. Your whole fit

is giving me Rabid Rabbit vibes. You listen to him, right?

Rabid... Rabbit!

Yes...

- Gotta love him. - What's your favorite song?

Well, you know...

The-the one with the very fast beat

where they're, like, really rabid.

Oh, I don't think I know that one.

He's more known for his catchy steady-beats.

Oh, you must mean the funky carioca one

where he collabs with Rato Louco.

A Brazilian artist from my family's hometown in Sao Paulo.

Come to think of it,

they're just a pair of rodents with anger issues.

Have you watched "Desobedientes"?

Do you follow Atlético Nacional?

-Hablas español en casa? What do you like more,

chicharones or papitas de limon?

Is chancla a trigger word for you?

Have you seen Rosie Risas's latest sketch?

Do you have any experience as a harp caddy?

Uh, no?

Ah, que bom.

- And... boom!

You are in our group chat. Mi gente,

let's give Gabby a big round of applause.

Oh, oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I almost forgot.

She still hasn't answered the most important question.

Gaby Duran, what's your favorite food?

That's easy. I love to make arepas.

Oh yeah? What kind?

I don't mean to brag,

but peanut butter and jelly arepas

are kind of a Gabby D specialty.

What's so funny?

Arepas... with peanut butter and jelly?

You are such a gringa.

Gringa, gringa, gringa...

They called me a gringa.

Can you believe that? That basically means

they don't think I'm Latina enough to be there.

Cool, cool. So, are you gonna order or...

Oh, I'm gonna order, alright.

I'm gonna order up a whole heap of change.

I can't have the only other Latino kids in school

thinking I'm a gringa.

What does that say about me?

I don't know. That maybe you should order something?

No.

There's only one thing left to do.

I'm gonna do a deep dive on all those kids

and make their interests my interests.

Then, I'm gonna march back into that club

and show them I'm the most authentic Latina

they've ever met in their lives.

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

Maybe just a drink?

You're killing me here.

Dumb yo-yo. Get back up here right now

or else I'm feeding you to the Orb.

Do you think she got the package?

You don't think Blurt ripped me off, do you?

Hey, you put some respect on his name.

That man's a saint.

But honestly, yeah, probably.

Ripping people off is sort of his thing.

Like this busted $12,000 yo-yo!

- Forget it.

Just gonna call her and ask.

-[ringing, beep] - Hi, Wes!

Did you get the package I sent you?

I did.

And I need to break up with you. 'Kay, bye!

I'm sorry about the plant! Blurt said you'd love it...

Wes, meet my new boyfriend,

Planty.

You're dating my gift?

Wha...

Mauricio, Alexander,

Sady, and Valentina.

Yep, that's everyone.

Now, let's do some research.

- Rabid Rabbit.

Reggaeton artists from Puerto Rico.

- Let's see what all the hype's about.

Gloria likes chips, the spicy and tangy kind.

- Mm!

Seems like my kind of gal.

Alright. Fernando likes the TV show "Desobedientes."

Benny likes to bust down dancing bachata.

And Valentina likes Peruvian-born comedian

Rosie Risas.

Alright, Rosie Risas, what you got?

- And I said,

-"sorry. Mami said no!"

It's funny 'cause it's true.

No, I'll tell her!

Hey, Abuela, before you go, I have a quick question.

Where's our family from in Venezuela?

Caracas!

I knew it started with a C!

What was it like? Do you miss it?

I mean, even though his name is Rabid Rabbit,

he's such a kind-hearted soul.

"Saludos a tu Abuela,"

really shows us he's a vulnerable king.

Wow, Gabby, you're like a Rabid Rabbit expert.

No, I'm just a very dedicated,

long-time fan.

Anyway, I was thinking of going to the concert,

but I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.

- What? - Why not?

Because Mami said no!

That is so accurate!

You appear to be dealing with the Lovazalia Principica,

also known as the Love Plant.

Anyone who smells its pheromones falls madly,

and obsessively, in love with it.

I knew Sky would never dump me for a plant.

No matter how cool it looks in a black hat

and leaf piercings.

But not to worry, young Wes.

I will fix this

because your relationship with my daughter

means everything to me.

Totally. Yeah...

It-it's best you stay behind.

Things can get ugly when you try to pry

one of these plant's victims away from it.

Luckily, I am a level-five touch telepath.

My mind is an impenetrable fortress.

I smelled it, I'm in love with it,

and I regret nothing!

Step right up and get these arepas while they're hot.

It's my Abuelita's famous Reina Pepiada recipe.

Totally authentic.

These are incredible!

Take two, take three,

- take 'em all!

Never stop, Santi. Pluck on!

Here you go, and there's more where that came from.

Hey, Gabby, can I get the recipe for these?

- Me, too. How about I send it to everybody?

No hands, no problem.

-Hola, phone! Hola.

Envía las notas de la receta al chat del Club Latino.

Listo, enviando todas sus notas al chat del Club Latino...

What? Y'all don't like cilantro?

"Valentina likes Peruvian stand-up comedian Rosie Risas..."

"Gloria plays travel soccer"?

"Fernando likes the TV show 'Desobedientes.'"

"Jace is nothing but a harp caddy"?

Gabby, how could you?

I'm a harp handler.

"Maria Sofia has a second middle name.

Eduardo took a trip to Panama last spring break"?

Okay, that's enough.

"Mami said no," am I right?

"Sady's mom is from Honduras,

and Benny likes to dance bachata"?

Gabby, what is all this?

I was just doing research.

My phone must've sent my notes by mistake.

Maybe stop reading that.

It kinda seems like you're stalking all of us.

Just stop!

Ah, my beautiful harp-playing hands!

- His beautiful harp-playing hands!

Anyone want more arepas?

Grill's still hot.

Swiss cheese, schnitzels, and samosas?

I love Heritage Night.

I'm headed back for thirds. Wanna tag along?

I'm okay. Thanks.

Your loss. More for Howard.

- Gabby!

Sorry I'm late, mija. Alright,

let's go to the Latino room. I can't wait to meet

- your friends. - Mom, I kinda just wanna go home.

What? Why?

Long story.

Let's just say a lot of bad stuff happened

because I'm not Latina enough for the Latino Club.

Ay, mi vida.

I know that feeling all too well.

Growing up in Miami, my parents wanted me

to assimilate to the American culture,

so we only spoke English at home.

But then, a group of kids in the neighborhood

started saying I wasn't a "real Latina"

because I didn't speak Spanish.

So, I went out of my way

to prove them wrong by learning the language. And guess what?

They stopped bothering you?

Nope.

Then they started saying I was a gringa

because of my green eyes.

The point is

you can't let other people

dictate your identity.

You are Latina.

You love to dance salsa,

and you love to cook just like Abuela.

Yeah, arepas with peanut butter and jelly.

So, you make arepas with peanut butter and jelly.

Who cares?

There's no one way to be Latinx,

or to be anything.

There's just you being you.

And what you are is Venezuelan

and American and totally unique.

- Thanks, Mom.

No problem.

Now, how about you get back in there?

This is ridiculous!

Can't you see this is just a floral ruse?

Jealousy is not a good color on you, Wesley.

But, you know what is? Blue.

You should wear it more!

Thank you?

My masterpiece is complete.

Mine, too.

Planty's gonna love mine more because it loves me more.

Negatory, dude! Loves me more!

Okay, enough is enough!

Time for Plan Tackle.

Although forced we were to tie you up,

it would have been rude for us

to not have you stay over for dinner.

And just bad form in front of Planty.

Totally.

Planty's a lover, not a fighter.

Wait.

Planty wants to tell us something!

Wha...

Great news.

Planty has invited you to join the love triangle.

Technically, if I joined, it would become a love square,

and...

that just doesn't sound very enticing.

This is the honor of your life!

I will kill you if Planty likes you more than me.

- Smell the love, Wesley.

Wait!

We should make this moment special.

It's not every day a boy joins his first plant... love... cult.

We should set the mood by lighting a candle.

Look! There's one right over there!

This heinous party crasher is correct.

A mood must be set!

Great idea, Wes. I knew you would come around.

We're gonna have such a happy love dictatorship

under Planty's rule!

What's going on?

- Wes?

Why are you all tied up?

Thank you, chunky heap of fart wax.

First of all, I want to apologize to Santi

for burning his beautiful harp-playing hands.

You're just lucky they're still beautiful.

Also, sorry for pretending to be something I'm not.

I just felt insecure because you all seemed

so much more in touch with your culture than me.

But, the truth is

there's no right way to embrace your culture.

I can put a Gabby remix on a classic

with my PB&J arepas, and Santi

can play beautiful joropo on a South American harp.

That doesn't make either of us

any more or less Latino than the other.

We all get to do this our own way.

And honestly,

creeping on you guys put me in touch

with a lot of stuff I really did enjoy.

So, if you're cool with it,

I'd love to still be a member of the club.

Of course.

On one condition.

You make us some of those PB&J arepas?

I'm sorry for giving you such an insane gift.

It's just after that awesome Martian sunset,

the candle I got you just...

it felt so dumb and lame.

Wes, I love the candle you got me.

I mean, you could smell everything from the subway rats

to the pizza rats!

That's what I said!

I know how much thought you put into that candle,

and that means the world to me.

Well, I should probably get rid of the plant.

It said yes!

Next time on "Gabby Duran and the Unsittables"...

I got a boyfriend!

Something's up with this guy.

Okay, Doug, what are you hiding?

Hey!

That's... a whole lotta Doug.

Gorgeous.