Original subtitles

"And with that,

"the riptides tore Ichthynia and Dasania

"to opposite ends of the Earth,

"wondering if they would ever find each other again.

"Bonded by their love of punk rock,

"they called out to each other with the ancient Dolphinian promise

"of eternal friendship.

Eeee eeeeee ee eee!"

To be continued.

That plot was... very hard to follow.

"Best Fins Forever" is the best book series of all time.

I think a little series called "The Berenstain Bears"

might have somethin' to say about that.

Is it cheesy? Yeah.

Is it ridiculous? Of course!

But does it also have best friend mermaids

who blow up mega-sharks with electric guitar tridents?

You bet your barnacles it does!

-"Bet your barnacles"? -There's a contest for BFFs--

Best Fins Fans-- to meet the author herself,

Amelia H.M.F. Barsten!

But there's a catch--

it has to be entered by two best friends.

So, that's where you come in.

All we have to do is make a video that shows

how we'd resolve the last book's cliffhanger.

So... Wesley.

Will you be my best fin forever?

Fine, but just know,

I wouldn't do this for anyone else.

You're gonna love it!

Will you please signal your dedication

with the Dolphinian promise of eternal friendship?

Close enough!

We're comin' for you, Amelia.

Ee eee eee eeeee!

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle ♪

♪ Fit in like summer and an icicle ♪

♪ Don't fight it, just be an original ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ I roller skate outside the lines ♪

♪ When I try to stay in, it's no surprise ♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind ♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind

♪ So anytime I feel some type of way ♪

♪ Don't understand the human race ♪

♪ So what, so what, so what

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ You do your thing, You do your thing ♪

♪ When we don't fit in

♪ We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud ♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only ♪

♪ Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, I do my thing

So the mermaids screech like dolphins?

I mean, how's that possible?

Dolphins are mammals. Mermaids are part fish--

Wesley, remember when you waited in line for 26 hours

to meet the mascot of your favorite tortilla chip company?

The Corn Commander is a notorious recluse.

So you get it!

I have a loving family, good friends,

and a super sick job.

-But none of it means anything if I don't get to meet Amelia.

do I wanna keep poking holes,

or do I wanna wear this cool leather vest

from our school's old production of "West Side Story"?

Ooh!

We can't use that fin! Dasania's fin is forked,

not rounded like some boring blowfish!

It can't be.

Susie?

You like "Best Fins Forever"?

Correction.

I like homework.

Gross.

I love "Best Fins Forever."

Which is why Iris-Maeve and I are looking for costumes.

We're gonna win the competition, and meet Amelia H.M.F. Barsten.

Hi. I'm Iris-Maeve.

Well, we're gonna enter the contest, too.

And heads up--

I'm a superfan.

Um, I took an online quiz last night

that said I'm such an expert on "Best Fins Forever,"

I must secretly have gills.

And maybe I do. I'll never tell.

-You don't. -I might.

Pfft. Whatever.

Wes and I are winning this thing,

since all we have to do is be naturally awesome.

Right, Wes?

Oh, aah-- Um...

♪ You and your love

-♪ Love is dangerous times ♪

-[dishes clattering, water sloshing] -♪ Don't try to get too close

♪ I might lose my mind

♪ But I'll take that chance

♪ 'Cause you were hard to find ♪

I predict two in 60 seconds.

No way! I could eat this whole box in 30.

Including the box!

A brain freeze will slow down

the average ice pop eater by 95--

-Oh, come on! -Boo!

Why do you always have to ruin our hijinks

with your data and logic?

Would it kill you to be an artificially intelligent supercomputer

who's also a fun hang?

Ignoring that.

I will be undergoing a mandatory

system update shortly, and will be offline.

I suggest making preparations.

Oh, yeah, I'll make "preparations."

Because I'm sooooo scared to go a week without the Orb,

a boring jerk who hates fun.

While Jeremy's sarcasm is a tad much,

I agree with him.

You don't do anything around here,

and we don't need you at all.

We'll be just fine on our own.

Enjoy your update.

Stupid deodorant!

It's not getting anything clean.

Please, keep your voice down!

I believe I'm still suffering

from the dreaded brain freeze.

When will it end?

This is all the Orb's fault.

-Okay. From the top. -Make it drop.

We're gonna make the evil Lobstresita

wish she were never spawned!

It's "Lobstrina."

I still have the clamshell guitar pick you gave me

the day I was captured, Dasania.

You gotta air strum, man!

If you don't air strum, then this whole part's pointless.

Let us recite the famous proverb of our people--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not even close.

Gabby, I think my stomach is trying to tell me something.

Okay, you're hungry. I get it.

No. I'm slowing you down.

You deserve a partner who's as in sync with you

as Lobstresita is with that, that crab boy.

It's Lobstrina-- Forget it.

Maybe you're right.

I do need the vest back.

What vest?

So long, Kanye Vest.

-Stay back!

The evil monster is still around here somewhere.

-There it is! -Aah!

Oh! It was so much safer

when the Orb was patrolling for these sorts of horrors!

But thankfully, all of this shall be taken care of.

-You got another Orb? -Uh, no.

Another Orb was not in our budget,

but the Blorg at the pawn shop

directed me to an area called the "Bargain Heap,"

where I found a "Bro."

Ha ha! It says on the box that it's better than an orb.

So you got a knock-off Orb?

What's up, my dudes? -Ha!

Whoa, gnarly!

Bro, destroy that monster!

Oh, looks like we got a party crasher!

-Unlock the Bro! -Kill the beast! Ha!

See you later, tiny amigo.

Ooh.

Hey, how about some sustenance?

Who wants beef taquitos?

Mmm!

You can do this...

Maybe get a fake mustache,

and pretend to be your own best friend.

Your resume says you speak fluent Dolphinian.

What I just heard was conversant at best. Next!

What happened to Iris-Maeve?

Interviewing fake friends for the contest?

If you must know, Iris-Maeve,

while incredibly dedicated to the cause--

female friendship--

lacked basic knowledge.

She thought the capital of Aquania was Neptunium,

-which she clearly got from the-- Video game adaptation.

Hey. I just had an idea.

I just had a better one.

We should enter the contest together.

Eee eee eee eee!

Looks like I'm teaming up with Susie.

Finally reunited,

our heroines turn Lobstrina's spell against her,

transferring her soul into a lowly goldfish.

I'm a goldfish!

King Neptune! How shall we punish the fiend?

Well...

What do the best fins think?

Your Royal Highness,

we request she be sentenced

to 100 years of the thing

power chords!

A wise request indeed.

Take her away!

Nooooo!

And that's what happens when best fins forever

work together!

Cut!

You girls are so wonderful together.

I did, uh, notice you used Lobstrina's given name.

That was a pretty deep cut.

Thank you for the compliment.

I must admit that your pronunciation

of the Dolphinian battle cry was...

almost as good as mine.

Well, we should clean up your, uh...

What is this? Your trophy room?

I wouldn't call it my trophy room.

They all belong to my little brother, Caleb.

He gets perfect grades without even trying.

The best at every sport.

He's also really funny. I hate it.

Yeah. My sister's the same way.

Hey, after we finish cleaning up,

you maybe wanna come over to my house

and try on some limited edition Ichthynia flippers

that don't fit me anymore?

Knock, knock! Oh, who's there?

Oh, a couple of cold bevvies for my angels, that's who.

Ooh!

I would like a cold bevvie. Thank you, Bro.

Enjoy!

Is it weird I can't remember life before the Bro?

And I don't want to ever again?

Stay chill, my dudes!

Now if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go negotiate a bodacious new interest rate

on your credit card bill!

Don't either of you move a muscle!

Ha! Did you hear that, Jeremy?

The Bro thinks I'm chill!

I'm low-key in love with that triangle.

-Mmm. Aah!

Mmm. Aah!

Now that I've distracted them with cold bevvies,

it's time to obliterate this Orb

and claim this gnarly three-bedroom,

two-and-a-half-bath kingdom as my own.

Initiate maniacal laughter.

Mu-ha-ha-ha! Mu-ha-ha-ha!

Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha!

"The Best Fins Forever Meet Susie 'Dolphin Lover' Glover"?

I can't believe you wrote yourself into your own fan fiction!

I can't believe I made it public!

Clearly, my 10-year-old brain

hadn't yet reached its full potential.

Seriously, we should've included that with our contest submission.

I just remembered!

I drew the characters when I was younger,

but my mermaids looked like pigeons.

My mom probably still has them in her sappy memory box.

You know, I never thought I'd say this,

but I'm having a really good time hanging out with you,

Susie Glover, Dolphin Lover.

Miss Know-it-All?

What? "I still can't believe I have to work with Susie

and her weird burp-yawns."

I was just swallowing air!

"She says she's just swallowing air, but she's not.

What does she eat for lunch?"

How dare she?

Prepare to die, Orb amigo!

Hey, Bro.

I'm a little worried about my bevvie-to-ice cube ratio here.

What are you doing?

Looks like you caught me, my dude.

I was just about to annihilate this totally harsh Orb.

But we need it!

Naaaaaaawwww.

I can do everything the Orb can do,

plus, I'm ridonkulously chill.

That's a sick point.

-Bye, Orb!

Ooh! What on Earth are you doing?

We're annihilating this totally harsh Orb.

The Bro can do everything it can,

plus, he's ridonkulously chill.

Oh, you do make a sick point.

Just imagine, the three of us together

playing air guitar,

enjoying bodacious low interest rates,

noshing beef taquits every day.

Um, well... Not beef taquitos every day.

One needs a little variety.

Uh, I myself am fond of black bean and cheese.

No-n-n-no way, brosefini. Beef only.

My radicalness is fueled by protein!

Beans are actually a wonderful source of protein.

And-and honestly, your loyalty to beef

seems very random and arbitrary

for such a sophisticated piece of technology.

Beef is the optimal taquito.

Beans and cheese are majorly bogus!

I guess this is why you don't buy a knock-off Orb.

Never mind, these are awesome.

-Ahead of their time, really. -Care to explain this?

Oh.

That was before you and I... you know...

Became on friendly terms?

You mean friends?

See? You can't even admit

that you're friends with a "know-it-all."

But that's okay, because I would never be friends

with a self-absorbed principal's pet.

I was just pretending that story you wrote was funny.

It was actually embarrassing.

What about those drawings?

Are you sure you didn't draw them when you were one?

The books weren't out then!

You know what? I don't even think you made a good Ichthynia,

but you would have made a great Lobstrina.

This is over.

We are not friends, and I never want to see you again!

Fine! Great! I never want to see you again!

-Oh, my gosh. -We won the contest.

Amelia will be in with you shortly.

And on a personal note,

can I just say I loved your friendship video?

Thanks. It was my idea.

Humph.

Don't break anything.

I've been waiting my whole life to meet this woman,

and will not let you mess it up!

I've been waiting my whole life to meet her,

and I won't let you mess it up!

Ladies.

Fantastic.

So...

You finally get to meet

the one and only Amelia H.M.F. Barsten.

You must be thrilled.

We are.

This is amazing.

I hate that I have to share it with you.

You don't mind if we film this for the fan channel, I presume?

Not at all!

I also find it amazing.

but my hatred of sharing it with you

-is even more intense! Ahem!

I can hear everything you're saying, ladies.

Not the words, but the emotional content.

Best fins like you are my inspiration

as a writer.

You honor us with the purity of your friendship,

so I would like to honor you

with a special treat.

A sneak peek at the first chapter

of my next book.

Deedee, let's leave them alone to share this...

sacred moment.

I should read it first.

We used my camera to make the video,

which made the whole thing a Gabby Studios production, by the way.

But we shot it at my house!

Plus, we had to open all of the windows

to air out the smell from your sweaty sneakers!

We both know that smell was from your yawny burps!

Your selfishness is ruining this for me!

Yeah, well, pretending to be your friend on camera

is ruining my reputation!

I see the wigs have come off.

You were pretending to be friends.

The sneak preview was for best fins, not best frauds.

You can read this alone, in your respective bedrooms...

when I officially release it in three years.

-Assuming all your tricks and lies-- -Grab it!

Get them!

Guards!

Oh, I can't believe you're really going to vaporize us

just because we didn't want to eat exclusively beef taquitos!

We just want variety, Bro!

This seems like extremely erratic behavior!

Sorry, amigos.

I was made out of spare parts

in a junk factory on a trash planet.

If you wanted logic or consistency,

-you should've got an Orb. -Wait!

Before we proceed, may I ask you a question?

Oh, abso-mundo.

Do you... still think I'm chill?

I'm sorry to say that your supposed chillness

was a lie on my part.

Then please make my death a quick one.

Sorry again, my dude. This zapper takes forever.

-Aah!

Update complete.

Oh! Ha ha! Orb, thank goodness!

W-we were just talking about

how we would never betray you,

and we love you so much!

Yes. Thank you, um, your honor.

Would you like a tutorial on my new features?

Orb version 14.8.4 includes several--

-Boo! -Why can't you be a fun hang?

Ugh...

Heavy sigh.

Come on, come on. Mama needs closure!

Are you reading what I'm reading?

I need to lie down.

Lobstrina... is dead.

Just like that. I can't believe it.

What's gonna happen to her 20,000 eggs?

Sorry, can you come back later?

We really need to process this.

You lied to me, stole my personal property,

and made my sons chase you around my house.

Well, I only have one question for you girls.

Did you like the chapter?

Well, actually, we did not.

Oh, really? Please expand. I am but a meager sponge.

I just... There's no way Dasania would kill Lobstrina.

Perform some super sick

underwater martial arts moves on her? Sure.

But push her into an infinity sludge pit?

I don't buy it.

Just because someone is evil,

or annoying,

or a bit of a know-it-all,

doesn't mean they should die.

Sometimes there's more good in a person,

or a lobster queen, than you think.

You just have to look harder.

Sometimes, really, really hard.

Did you have to add that second really?

Yeah. I did.

That was so beautiful.

Does that mean you're gonna rewrite it?

No. Now get off my property.

Oh.

I can't believe you're taking that down

just when I finally figured out what it means.

I have to. Looking at it only reminds me

of how I was betrayed.

What, by Susie?

No, by Amelia H.M.F. Barsten.

"Best Fins Forever" jumped the shark,

but even worse,

Amelia couldn't handle constructive criticism

about her mermaid books.

Oh, sure. But when I do it--

-Susie. -Gabby.

A, uh, certain fan of our friendship adventures

is in suspense after our falling-out.

I need some closure.

"Best Fins Forever" wasn't forever.

But you and I will always have the memory of our high-speed pursuit

by weird nautical guys.

You mean her sons?

What's that about?

I heard one of them call her "Mumsy Dearest."

Maybe we should go back. Help them escape from her evil clutches.

We should get to class. Uh, not we.

You and I. Separately.

Yes, I suppose we-- you and I-- should.

Eee eee eee eee!

Eeeeeeeeeeee!

Next time on "Gabby Duran and the Unsittables"...

I can't believe you drove to school

on Fume Free Friday.

Sending you a link to "Burst My Bubble."

It's a news site about the most important things

going on in the world right now.

The Earth is on fire, and we've gotta fix it.

Someone's gotta do something.

And since we're the ones with alien knowledge,

it should probably be us.

Gorgeous.