Original subtitles

Mimi, don't tell me you're at La Cubana without me!

I would literally never.

Mmm...

-So good.

You know, I think I might miss Miami food

more than I miss you.

Hold on...

...your hair looks different.

Oh, thank you for noticing.

I moved my ombre up by two centimeters,

and I am literally a different person.

In... love.

So... are you, like, so excited

for your special day next week?

Uh, I believe you mean our special day!

-Birthday twins! -Birthday twins!

Aww, I'm so sad we won't be together this year.

I know! I miss you!

I miss you more!

Anyway, try not to be too sad on your birthday without me!

Bye!

I won't be.

Who's ready for Gabby D's first solo Birthday Blood Bash?

Mmm.

Perfect.

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle ♪

♪ Fit in like summer and an icicle ♪

♪ Don't fight it, just be an original ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ I roller skate outside the lines ♪

♪ When I try to stay in, it's no surprise ♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind ♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind

♪ So anytime I feel some type of way ♪

♪ Don't understand the human race ♪

♪ So what, so what, so what

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ You do your thing, you do your thing ♪

♪ When we don't fit in

♪ We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud ♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only ♪

♪ Don't try to fit in, don't try to fit in ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, I do my thing

Our tragedy begins on my seventh birthday--

Is this story gonna be too sad for me?

One-hundred percent.

My best friend Mimi and I had the same birthday.

Our moms planned separate parties

on the same day...

...and no one showed up to either.

Our friends said they didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings,

so... they skipped both.

Oh.

It gets worse.

The next year, our parents throw us a joint party

so it doesn't happen again.

It quickly becomes a tradition,

and before long,

I'm sharing a birthday party every year with my best friend!

Wait...

...that's not so bad.

Sharing a birthday party with your best friend

actually sounds pretty awesome.

It's not.

Birthdays are the one time a year

when it's okay to make things all about yourself,

and I've never gotten to have that.

Not to mention the fact that Mimi is

a huge birthday one-upper.

Like on our eighth birthday

when I came up with a sick birthday dance.

But Mimi just had to one-up me.

Why didn't you just ask her to tone it down?

Oh, Wes. Wes, Wes, Wes, Wes.

Mimi and I don't do drama.

We're the No-Drama Mamas.

The "No-Drama Mamas?"

Seven years of friendship and not one argument.

♪ No-Drama Mamas

So you one-up each other, but you... don't have drama?

Exactly.

Female friendships are confusing.

Well, thankfully you don't need to worry about it

because this year Mimi is in Miami,

and I get to have my first ever epic

solo Gabby D Birthday Blood Bash.

So... Gabby's having a birthday party.

"R.S.V.P.

or never show your face to my face... ever again."

What does RSVP mean?

No clue.

But if we want to go to Gabby's party,

it appears we have to do it.

This sounds like a lot of work.

Do we really wanna be a part of Gabby's birthday?

Well, uh, according to the invitation,

there will be tiny food with toothpicks there.

Orb! Clear my afternoon!

And no distracting phone calls!

We need to figure out what RSVP means.

It stands for "repondez, s'il vous plait"

she just wants to know if you can come.

Not that anyone asked.

I spent two hundred dollars

on Blooderella-themed decorations.

I gave up my Saturday to build a perfect pinata.

I special ordered a cake.

I canceled that cake

and special ordered a better one.

We have gone all out for Gabby this year.

All... out.

are we going to get a thank you?

That's a tough call.

Gabby is very self-obsessed on her birthday.

She is.

But we did go all out.

We did go all out.

You know what?

This is gonna be the year.

I can feel it.

Great decorations. Who did all this?

Who cares?

This will be the best party ever.

Just picture it.

First, to set the tone,

I'm gonna straight up maul a pinata

to the deafening cheers of all my closest friends!

Yes, girl! Maul that!

Next, I'm gonna put on the special birthday playlist

I've been curating all year!

Yes, girl! Mix it!

And then, for the grand finale,

I'm gonna chop into a three-tiered,

Blooderella-themed birthday cake,

rigged to explode with what can only be called

an unnecessary amount of fake blood.

That does seem unnecessary.

Right? This will be the best solo birthday ever.

Finally, for the first time, it's all gonna be about--

Ooh. Early arrival.

Let's get this party started.

♪ Happy birthday to Gabby D

♪ Happy birthday to--

Mimi!

I'm here!

You don't have to be sad anymore!

Yay!

Yayyy!

You're here.

I got you a little present!

Oh.

Wow, that's big.

I didn't get you anything

because I didn't know you were coming.

But really, why are you here?

I invited her!

I figured, what better gift

than flying up your best friend from Miami

so you two could continue your birthday tradition?

Wow, Mom. That sounds pretty expensive.

Oh, it was.

But I'm sure Gabby is very grateful.

But what about your friends and family?

Oh, they understand!

Especially when I told them how sad you were

to have our birthday without me!

Yes! Right! Our birthday!

I just feel bad 'cause you're in travel clothes

and I have this super dope outfit on

and I'm definitely gonna outshine you.

Oh, this is just my travel fit!

Uh... right. Perfect.

You look... so good.

Oh! And I got this for our cake!

It's me.

Alright, we've narrowed it down

to the most logical possibilities.

It has to be one of these.

But how do we know which one is the real RSVP?

I don't wanna look dumb in front of all

the tiny food with toothpicks.

Well, Jeremy,

there's only one way to find out.

We have to do them all.

Orb!

What time does the party start?

In approximately one minute.

When does it end?

In approximately two hours.

That means we've got an hour and fifty minutes.

No one needs more than ten minutes

of a party, anyway.

Look at her.

Look at that monster.

She's a monster, but... she's your best friend?

I love her. She is my rock.

But on our birthday,

she is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Then why don't you just talk to her about it?

Wes, how many times can I explain?

We are No-Drama Mamas.

Now, repeat it back to me so I know you understand.

You are No-Drama Mamas.

Good.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to go undermine her every move

and one up her one-up harder!

Let the games begin!

That sounds like drama... mama.

Okay, everybody! Who's ready to watch me take out

a lot of aggression on this pinata?

I'm definitely gonna get a thank you for that pinata.

Here we go, baby.

One clean hit.

Ahhh!

Go, Gabby!

Can I give it a try?

Oh no, it's fine. I don't need that.

Whoa!

She's gonna do it with her mind!

Yahhh!

Yeah!

Okay, everybody!

Moving on to the next phase

of my party!

Our party!

That pinata's defective.

RSVP.

Rupture Swift's Volcanic Pimple.

-Oww!

You are disgusting.

Ridicule Someone Very Precious!

You rot in your own filth for hours.

Ride Super Vain Pony!

Ha ha!

♪ Et in hora♪

♪ Mortis nostrae♪

Bring it home for me, Jeremy!

Record Song Vocals Professionally!

♪ Ave♪

♪ Maria♪

And that is all of them.

Yes!

the perfect birthday playlist!

He's here.

DJ Candy Bean!

All the way from Miami!

What's up, my beanies!

Everybody say Happy Birthday to Mimi!

Oh, and Gabby.

Woo-hoo!

Oh my gosh, guys! Stop!

I can't dance right now!

That would be so extra of me!

Stop begging!

Nobody begged you, Gabby.

Fine, I'll do it!

Yeah, Gabby. Woo!

Kinda seems like Gabby stole

your spotlight a little bit there, huh?

Do you think maybe you two should... talk about it?

Talk about what? I love Gabby's dancing.

Also, who are you?

♪ Happy Birthday to you

-♪ Happy Birthday, Dear Mimi -♪ Happy Birthday, Dear Gabby

♪ Happy Birthday to you

You guys! You shouldn't have!

They didn't.

Who wants to cut the first slice?

No!

This was supposed to be my party!

And this day was supposed to be all about me!

Gabby, what is going on?

And this cake was supposed to be mine!

She's ruining Mimi's party!

Fine, Gabby! I'll leave you alone!

But I'm taking our cake with me!

Oh no, you don't!

No one steals my cake,

thank you very much!

-I know I should be more concerned

about what's going on between those two,

but... do you think that counts as a thank you?

I think we both know that it doesn't.

Oh, Gabby!

We ruptured, ridiculed, and recorded.

Admittedly, the pony was more conceited than vain,

but hopefully it still counts

as RSVP!

No time! Can't talk!

I've got a cake to catch!

Also, you did not RSVP!

I am gonna ruin you, Mimi!

I am gonna ruin you so hard!

Mimi! Get back here!

No! I'm going back to Miami!

Will you please just stop?

What?

You want to say you're sorry?

No! I want my cake back!

I just don't understand.

We did all the RSVPs that made sense.

The worst part is, they've got tiny food

with toothpicks in there.

No, they don't.

I lied about that to get you to come.

And what are you doing out here, Howard?

I just needed some air.

I just realized something very profound.

Whoa, there are two B's in Gabby.

I've been saying it with one this whole time.

Do shut up for a moment.

Realize Something Very Profound!

That's it.

That's how you RSVP!

And we just did that! Just now!

By realizing what RSVP was,

we realized something very profound!

Gabby's party, here we come!

I'm gonna make a huge scene!

Ha ha! Yes.

Is it just me or was it sort of dead in there?

Incredibly dead.

So back home, then?

Stop being a baby and give me the cake!

No way!

This cake is half mine by right of birthday twins!

Phew, I thought it might've--

Ugh!

Mimi...

...I know we don't do drama,

but... can I be honest with you?

Oh no. Honesty...

I know. It's scary.

I love you,

and I love being friends with you,

but I hate sharing a birthday with you.

Gabby!

I feel the exact same way!

No way!

Wait...

...why do you not wanna share

a birthday with me?

'Cause you're a one-upper!

I'm the one-upper? You're the one-upper!

You always one-up my up!

Hold on!

You're saying that I, Gabby Duran,

the most chill, low-key, down-to-Earth girl

in the world,

am a one-upper?

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I am too.

I guess we should have just been honest with each other.

Maybe having drama...

Makes us better mamas!

I love you so much.

I love you more.

So the beauty is in the chaos.

I understand female friendships now.

But seriously, never show your face at my birthday again.

Gabby, if you step foot in Miami this time next year,

I will chop your hair off at the ombre

so you'll have an approximate five-inch bob.

Never mind.

Lost it.

Thank you for bringing all of Miami to me!

Though, it's really weird the t-shirt company forgot

the A in Miami.

Hmmm.

"I love Mimi."

Weird!

What?

I just remembered something I need to do.

I know things got a little crazy today,

but it really was the perfect day.

The fact that you guys put so much time

into my birthday means the world to me.

So... thank you.

Next time on

Gabby Duran and the Unsittables...

We got a situation on our hands.

The Congressional Fitness Test?

They added a mile run this year.

A mile. Run.

I'm getting out of this test.

Gabby! You made it!

I decided to have Fritz build

a Gabby Bot to run the mile for me.

-Stop that! -Gabby Bot's gone rogue!

You hear that, you rowdy bogans!

-Gabby Bot,

it's gonna kill Swift!

You messed with the wrong sheila!

Ohh!