Original subtitles

Okay, Kopek, six rounds rapid, required 15-inch group,

range, 25 yards, from standing position.

Fire when ready.

You stupid little… Oh…

Okay, Kopek, that's it.

From here on in, you're driving a desk,

and if you ever get your hands on even a BB gun,

-you're gonna be-- -You got a problem, Reilly?

Problem? Ha, he's got the problem. He just failed range again.

You check his target?

Check his target? I can't even see his target.

Reilly, regulations clearly state

that the officer in charge of the range

shall check the targets before filling out the score sheets,

article 374, subsection D.

Now, I see that Kopek isn't due for small arms re-examination

'til next month, so you can log this as range practise, okay?

No way, Broom, no way.

Regulations, Reilly.

Kopek.

Thank you, sir.

Kopek.

Yes, sir?

-Thank you, sir. -Get out!

-Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. -Out!

You dirty…

Well, give him an evasive answer.

Tell him to get lost.

As I was saying, Broom, the whole department is overextended.

Yeah, Kominsky.

What do you mean you lost him?

What are you, a policeman or a wet nurse?

You'll be back pounding the beat if you don't watch it.

And no more calls.

Yes, Johnson, what can I do for you?

Or better still, get out!

Well, Broom.

Let's get down to it.

Now, we're getting a lot of static from upstairs.

This whole department is getting a bad reputation.

We're understaffed, but we've gotta carry on.

Remember, to serve and protect.

Oh, shh.

Well, Stitsky, where are they?

My pants, you said you'd have them back here

when I got through at the mayor's office.

Well, bring them in here.

There is not enough attention paid to detail around here, Broom.

Yeah?

Yeah, Broom, you got a tough assignment.

You gotta keep outta sight,

but the whole department will be watching you…

symbolically, of course.

Of course, sir.

Yeah, there's a photograph there on my desk, Broom,

two of the most despicable characters that have come our way in a long time.

Professional criminals, Broom,

men who are a threat to society.

Men who'll do anything to serve their own… ends.

Leo Regario and Vito the Trigger Vitaly,

known members of a crime syndicate.

Oh, they might have got past Transport Terminal Surveillance,

but not for long, because you're going to find them, Broom.

You're gonna find out why they're here, and you're going to nail them to the wall.

Symbolically, of course, sir.

Literally, if necessary!

-I want results. -Trust me, sir.

You'll need a partner. Of course, sir.

-Who do you want? -Kopek, sir.

Can't break up a winning team, that is if he's not wanted somewhere else.

Oh, no, no, no, he's not wanted.

He's all yours.

Hello, Reilly.

Hello, this is Reilly.

Oh, uh, is Sergeant Broom there, please?

Who wants him?

Uh, it's Officer Kopek, sir.

Kopek? Kopek?

We'll, he's not here.

I'll see if he's outside.

Uh, no, sir? You don't have--

Sir? Hello?

There you are, Kopek.

Oh, Sergeant Broom, I was just looking for you.

I was trying to get you on the phone.

Sergeant Reilly's looking for you.

I'll go find him and tell him I found you, all right?

Sergeant Broom's not here.

This is Broom speaking.

Um, your buddy's looking for you.

-Here he is. -Oh, Sergeant, I, uh, it's okay, sir.

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Who is this?

This is Officer Kopek speaking.

Kopek, this is Broom. We have an assignment.

Yes, sir. Um, just a moment, sir.

Um, just one second, all right? Be right with you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm, oh, oh.

Here's your car, sir.

You know--

Sorry, sir, I was just looking for a pencil.

Kopek.

Okay, Kopek, let's go.

There's not a mark on it, Kopek, and I want it back the same way.

-Sign here. -You know me, sir.

The, uh, spring's a bit loose, I think, sir.

Suspect vehicle heading east on Goddet.

Why don't we take that bit off?

We ain't taking any bits off.

We're not broke down, we're just pretending.

Hey, let's go.

Okay.

Suspect bank robber's vehicle now confirmed

as late model Honda sedan, brown with racing stripes,

1 Delta 12 in pursuit east on Western.

1 Delta 12, that's Clark and Mendoza, isn't it, sir?

Regario and Vitaly.

Ah, Regario and Vitaly.

I don't think I know them. Are they robbery?

Robbery, arson, homicide, you name it.

Some guys get all the breaks.

Okay, get in there.

Then they're organised crime.

Who?

Clark and Mendoza.

Clark and Mendoza are robbery.

Oh. What about Regario and Vitaly?

They're organised crime.

I thought we were organised crime.

We are, but they're foreign. What'll it get--

Kopek!

Why, you son of a bitch.

Charlie the Wheel.

Oh, Sergeant Broom.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

I thought you were gone for five years.

Commuted sentence, extreme hardship.

Ah, ah. So what is it this time, more of the same?

I didn't know there was anything in the truck, so help me.

I'm only driving it, you know.

I mean, I stopped at the deli for hot coffee.

-They must've got in. -All right, who got in?

How should I know? I mean, anybody.

There's a lot of criminals around, you know that.

Hey, like these two torpedoes.

-Oh, yeah? -They're bad news.

Just in from Motor City.

Now, guys like these two I can help you with, you know?

You scratch my back, and I scratch yours, symbolically, of course.

All right.

What do you know about these two?

They're always hanging around the concert hall.

Kopek.

Honest, Sergeant Broom, I didn't know there was anything back there.

For heaven sakes, Sergeant Broom.

Kopek.

All right, where are they?

Who?

Never mind that now. Come on, get in the car.

What do you think I am, dumb? I'm not that stupid.

Come on, get in there, move.

Surprise.

Kopek, on the double.

All right, the two of you get out of the truck.

-You, against the wall. -You're a little late, fella.

-I said get on-- -Wait a minute!

I'm Sergeant Roscoe Broom, organised crime squad.

-Yeah, and I'm the mayor. -Now, listen--

-Hold it. -Hey, we're police officers.

Spread.

I'm not kidding, sonny, you'll be pounding the beat if you--

Watch it with the hands.

What's your badge number? Kopek, make a note of his badge number.

You got a lot to learn about police work, fella.

You're gonna find yourself in an awful lot of trouble.

Article 731, disobey--

Disobeying a superior officer.

Broom. Well, I should've known.

Now, look after this, Kopek, on the double.

Right, you, come on. Good work, Broom.

We like to get off on a flying start, sir.

It'll all be in Kopek's report.

Excuse me, sir.

Hey, you.

What's your name?

-Docstetter. -Docstetter what?

Docstetter, sir, sir.

Mm-hm.

There's one Charlie the Wheel in my car. Get him over here.

Sir.

Quick off the mark, hey, Broom?

And I suppose you'll grab the other two before the afternoon's over.

Wouldn't be surprised, sir.

Sir, there's nobody there.

You lost him?

No, I said there's nobody in the car.

Don't make things any worse than they are, Docstetter.

Look, my eyes don't lie to me.

I told you, there's nobody in the car. That's what I mean.

All right, let's mark it down to youth.

This is car 54, Sergeant Roscoe Broom, organised crime squad.

I want an APB, Charles Alexander Murphy,

that's with a pff, P-H, otherwise known as Charlie the Wheel,

For the Mercantile Bank job this morning.

Wanted for burglary, extortion, grievous bodily harm,

possession of stolen property, assaulting a police officer,

and avoiding arrest.

Also, failing to remain at the scene of an accident.

Car 54 out.

Lucky for you I know him.

We'll have him in no time at all, sir, no thanks to you, Docstetter.

Now, see if you can clear up the rest of this mess

without losing anybody else.

Sir.

Kopek.

Charlie the Wheel.

You'd never think he was capable of a job like this, sir.

Just goes to show, you can never tell about a person by just looking at him.

Kopek.

This car isn't gonna work out, sir.

Okay, Ma.

Yeah, I'll call Beverly.

What? Steven and Lisa?

Huh? Okay, Jordan, too.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

What? I gotta-I gotta go, Ma.

Had to bring the car back.

Uh, uh, sometimes, you just get a lemon.

Lemon? Lemon?

Sir, it's over here, sir, the concert hall, it's right there.

-Good work, Kopek. -Thank you, sir.

Sir, what's a couple torpedoes doing hanging around a classy joint like this?

Hanging, Kopek.

It's the only lead we got.

-Would you cut that out? -What are you talking about?

-We gotta burn 'em, don't we? -No, we don't got to burn her.

We gotta put a snatch on her. Now, put it away.

-Go on, put it away. -All right, all right, all right.

Again, from letter A, Miss Victoria.

Breathe deeply, grandioso.

Shh, is that the one?

No, no, shh.

No, no.

No.

And you, why don't you play the last four bars?

Wait just a minute.

What is all this?

-What are you doing? -I'm rehearsing, what's it look like?

You're rehearsing the wrong show, is what it looks like.

-Come on, you'll be late. -Rick, I can't leave.

J.K.'ll be here soon.

Have you told him yet?

-Well, not yet. -See you later.

Where are you going?

Hey, look, if your uncle finds out on his own

that you're dancing at the Orchid, and that I hired you, it could get sticky.

I thought you told me you were gonna can all this crap.

Tell him.

All right, all right.

Look, just give me ten minutes, then I'll meet you outside.

Okay?

Miss Lewenhak, you have a voice, I must admit,

but you got completely…

Even I, the great Gino Frescobaldi, cannot make a diva out of you,

no matter what your uncle might say.

I'm sorry, maestro.

Shall we try again?

Oh, we'll try again.

And what are you doing here?

I thought I told you to stop sniffing around my niece.

I have business here.

Your business is taking care of my business at the Orchid,

and nowhere else.

-Henry. -Sir?

Throw him out.

Yes, sir.

I was just leaving.

Thank you, sir.

-That's the one. -No.

-Hey-- -Get down.

Mm.

Piece of pizza, sir?

Ooh.

Anchovies, Kopek.

Anchovies.

My niece has a marvellous voice, Henry.

Unique, sir.

When my brother entrusted her to me,

his final wish was that she should pursue her career as an opera singer.

Yes, I think her debut will cause quite a stir in musical circles.

Undoubtedly, sir.

Bravo.

Magnificent, my dear.

Maestro, you must be very proud.

Without you, my niece would not be making her debut.

Just think of it.

In a few days' time, opening night, the house filled,

the whole world will know that you are responsible for bringing forth

this remarkable talent.

Victoria, my dear.

Tch. Henry will take you home.

You wanna play some gin?

Shh. Come on!

There she goes. Come on.

Until tomorrow, maestro.

Your opinion, sir.

-Mm-mm, mm. -Shh, shh.

-Come on. -I'm coming.

My chop… my chopper's stuck. Wait.

Me, responsible?

Matty, you go with Henry. I'll make my own way.

Okay.

Okay, let's go.

Wrong door, in here.

Excuse you.

Hello.

-That's the muscle. -Yeah.

Going after the broad.

Come in. Yeah.

Miss Lewenhak, the car's outside.

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna snatch the broad and bounce the muscle, yeah.

Good, just like when I was with Bugsy Spiegel.

Now what?

I can't find my chopper.

But my instructions were very clear.

I was to take Miss Victoria home.

Well, sir, what do we do when we spot them?

We maintain surveillance, Kopek.

Ah-ha.

Until we can apprehend them in flagrante delicto.

Huh?

At it, Kopek, at it.

Ah.

There they are, sir.

Good work, Kopek.

Kopek, get down, they'll see you. Kopek, the horn.

Ow.

For God sakes, get that pizza off the horn.

Kopek, you're gonna blow the surveillance.

Ow, let go of my leg.

You're fat, Kopek, fat. Get off me, you're hurting me.

-Told you, never-- -Get off, ah!

Never eat on some fat. Now, give me that.

Mm, ow.

-Kopek, on the double, they're at it. -I'm stuck.

-Hurry up. -Ow.

Stop in the name of… Jesus.

Christ be with you, sisters.

Kopek, follow that car.

Not that car, that car! Follow that car.

Now, turn your wheel to the right. No, no, that wheel, not that wheel.

To the right.

Now, you keep quiet, and nothing's gonna happen to you.

Get in.

Ma, would I? Ma, Ma, would I?

Ma.

No, don't worry.

Ma, Ma, I gotta go, Ma. Ma, I gotta go.

Don't you have something to do?

You wanna play some gin?

Don't you ever think of anything but cards and booze?

And broads.

And business, like dumping the limo.

Hey, hey, leaving it out there, they could put the finger on us.

Right.

-I'm hungry. -Huh?

-Go pick up a pizza. -All right.

-Come on. -Yeah.

-And listen. -Yeah?

Hold the anchovies.

If they put anchovies on, kill 'em.

-I told you to cut that out. -Well, it was just a reaction,

you know, like lightning.

-Come on, let me have it. -All right.

I mean, give me the gun.

I feel naked without it.

Listen, just get the pizza, and move it, I've gotta see the boss.

Things were a lot different when I was with Bugsy Spiegel.

He never talked to me like that.

Sending a naked man after pizza.

Huh.

Yes?

Good.

Police?

This is J.K. Lewenhak.

I have to report a kidnapping.

My niece, Victoria.

And, fade, applause, applause, applause.

-If you're lucky. -Hmm.

Okay, girls, go off left.

You girls, come on right, and we're into the tap routine.

Eddie, Eddie, where are you?

Eddie, where are 'ya?

What? It's your cue, darling.

It's your blues.

Ah, I said blues, Eddie.

Eddie, that's blue as in sad, as in fired.

Do you know what I got back there? I got 60 amps back there.

When I was a kid, my mother had more for cooking,

and on top of that, I've got original wiring by Edison,

so if Nureyev here wants 2K, front of house,

and sound on all at the same time,

then all he's gonna get is the fire chief up his ass.

All right, Bruce, sort this out.

You can't have what there ain't.

Well, I don't know how I'm expected to put on a new show in three days

and work my butt off in the old one at night.

If Busby Berkeley can do it, you can do it.

That's in the movies, that's not real.

Did anyone ever tell you you have great legs?

Oh, you, you could talk me into anything.

Okay, girls, bustle, bustle, bustle. Let's get this turkey on the road.

-Rick, I got something for you. -I gotta go, I haven't got time.

-I got it. -Got what?

-An idea. -Oh, excuse me, miss?

If you're not too busy, could you make your change?

Okay, girls, let's go. Eddie, hit the music.

Okay, girls.

Tits, teeth, and a lot of charm.

Let's go.

Eddie, yeah.

You're in the wrong costume.

Eh.

Okay, dragon ladies, final bit. Give them some love.

You can get 25 years in the slammer for this.

Only if it's for real, and only you and me know

there's more than one of me,

so, if one of me's kidnapped, and the other isn't,

then no one's been kidnapped at all, and it's that simple.

It's that simple? No.

Look, you came down here, auditioned, I gave you a job, right?

Then you tell me you're J.K. Lewenhak's niece,

and you're supposed to sing opera.

You're nuts, you know that?

You got all the money you want, you got a chauffeured limousine,

you got a secretary, for Christ sakes,

and all you wanna do is some dumb number

with that faggot in a lousy show in a lousy club.

It's not a lousy club.

It is a lousy club. I run the place, I should know.

Well, I want to make it on my own.

You got it.

You wanna play weird games with your rich uncle, include me out.

So you got trouble singing and dancing at the same time.

Tell him yourself.

I'm going to, after I've been kidnapped.

Why?

Because, then, he'll be able to justify cancelling my debut,

and he won't feel that I let him down.

It's simple psychology, understanding the male ego.

You're fired. You're fired. Ruby can do the show.

Vicky, Bruce is screaming for you.

Mm.

-Hiya. -You're late.

One, and two, and three.

And a one, and a two, and a three, and make it go away.

Back, and one, and a two, and a three.

Legs, will you listen to the song?

You know, that dummy'll never make a dancer outta Legs.

-You oughta get rid of her. -You kidding?

With a body like that, who cares if she can dance?

And one, two, three, four, one, two, three.

Oh, girls, those of you who can count, please, count for me.

Legs, Legs.

Sashay, darling, sashay.

You're playing Rosie O'Grady, not Rosey Grier.

Here, drop this off to Lewenhak right away.

Oh, yeah, okay. Well, you're not moving right

when everyone else is moving left.

All right, Eddie, we'll take it from the top.

Eddie, hit the music.

You got the note?

Your niece has been kidnapped.

You'll be contacted.

Good.

You'd better get out of here before the police arrive.

Forget it.

I take in both sides of the action.

I can second guess the police better than you.

You're too smart for your own good.

It's very simple.

I merely revert to my alter ego, Hugo Steinbetz,

the perfect gentleman's secretary, sir.

I think I made a mistake getting into this.

You made a mistake getting into the organisation for money.

And next week, that girl comes into her estate,

and you don't get a smell at it anymore,

and without that, our accountants feel that your loan lacks collateral.

All I need is a little time.

Look, I can still tell the police it was all a hoax, and then.

I think your time just ran out.

Shall I answer the door, sir?

-Thank you, Hugo. -Very well.

Two, uh, gentlemen from the police department to see you, sir.

Show them in.

Mr Lewenhak will see you now, sir.

I've seen you before someplace.

Uh, yes, I used to play pro ball.

Hey, hey, never forget a face.

No, no, I played water polo for the Vegas Dolphins, you know.

You know, swim.

Sir.

Detective Sergeant Roscoe Broom, and Officer Kopek.

Mr Lewenhak, you've reported a kidnapping.

Yes, my niece, Victoria. The opera singer.

We have our sources of information, Mr Lewenhak.

Uh, I think you'll find you can trust me, sir.

Even at this early stage, I think I can safely tell you

that we've been engaged in the vicinity of the concert hall,

holding certain suspicious characters under surveillance.

Two L's.

Therefore, I can confidently state

that I expect an early conclusion to this case, sir.

Now, I understand you received a ransom note.

Yes, it's here.

Ah, ah, ah, please hand it to Officer Kopek.

Kopek.

Has anyone handled this note, sir?

Yes, I have.

Other than you, sir.

Hugo.

Where are you going, Kopek?

Mr Lewenhak wanted me to answer the door, sir.

Well, the doorbell rang, and he asked me to go.

I said Hugo.

Kopek, he said Hugo.

I was just going, sir.

Not you go, Hugo. Hugo Steinmetz, my secretary.

-He handled it. -What?

-The note. -Mr Lewenhak-Kopek, the note.

Don't handle the evidence.

Hugo.

Mr Steinmetz, would you answer the door, please?

Certainly, sir.

Uh, o-one moment, sir, please.

Sergeant, this letter is addressed to me.

Police procedure, sir, trust me. Kopek.

Thank you.

My niece has been kidnapped?

His niece has been kidnapped.

Your niece has been kidnapped.

Don't handle the evidence.

Plie, plie, plie.

Uh, give us a kiss.

You're next.

How's the audience?

Tacky, what else?

Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce La Rousse.

Bruce La Rousse is on the loose.

Clear the table, boys, I'm-a coming through.

Is the flasher in tonight?

Nah, he hasn't been in since Louis got him with the hot coffee.

There's a new one.

Oh, what do we got now, Jack the Ripper or the Boston Strangler?

No, this one looks like the Phantom of the Opera.

Terrific.

Good, you're on.

Eddie. What?

Where's Vicky?

Come on, come on, move it, come on.

Will you get your ass out there?

-Eddie, where was she? -Who knows?

Well, I don't know how I'm expected to keep everything together by myself.

Now, okay, girls, got one more show tonight.

I don't want anybody else running off, okay?

Listen to madam, girls, listen to madam.

Boy, am I gonna give her a piece of my mind.

She thinks because Rick fancies her, that she can get away with anything, huh?

Discipline, Eddie, that's what Little Miss Muffet needs, discipline.

Where is she?

Oh, my God.

Chauvinist pig.

So, when did you learn to read?

Kidnapped.

Eddie, they've stolen my baby.

I don't believe it. What are we gonna do?

I'm in such a tizz. Let's get some help.

Shut up.

Rick, look, kidnapped.

Look, look, look, look. Oh, I'm so nervous.

Flanagan, Flanagan.

Seems to have gone dead.

Relax, I've got it.

Just about ready, sir.

Kopek, the C41.

Would you sign there and there, sir?

Police regulation, section 129, form C41,

granting permission to install a listening device

on the telephone or telephones shall be completed and duly signed

by the owner of lessee of the premises

where the said telephone or telephones may be located, sir.

What's all this stuff, in any case?

That, sir, is the very latest electronic surveillance equipment.

You see…

You see, sir, when contact is made, excuse me, sir,

the incoming call, sir, is--

Ah, ah, ah.

Kopek, stand by.

Flanagan, it's gone dead again.

-It's okay, sir, I've got it now. -All right.

Don't worry, sir, I have the situation completely under control, sir.

Kopek, you trace that call.

Mobile surveillance unit seven, area five.

Flanagan, form 772, faulty equipment report.

Station C, report back.

One thing about police work, sir,

we're-we're always expected to expect the unexpected. It's…

Kopek, have you traced that call?

-Sergeant Broom. -What is it, Kopek?

-I've traced the call, sir. -Good work, Kopek.

Well, who was it?

It was the chief, sir.

Detective Sergeant Broom, sir.

Hugo.

Now, hold it, Flanagan. Hugo, you go.

In all my years on the force, Mr Lewenhak,

this is my first kidnapping with two ransom notes.

-Now, I-- -I told you, you can't come in.

I don't care what you have to say.

Mr Lewenhak, your niece has been kidnapped.

My niece has been kidnapped.

His niece has been kidnapped.

Simone, and, uh, Legs.

All right, over here.

Thank you. And, Simone, please.

Oh, thank you. And, uh, Leg…

Uh, Legs.

Kopek!

What in God's name are you up to? You're an officer, you're grabbing on…

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, quiet, please.

Quiet.

I'm here to conduct an investigation into the sudden disappearance

of a member of your show.

Now, I'm detect…

Detective Sergeant Roscoe Broom.

Now, I have to ask you a few questions.

Hey, don't forget, they got a show to do.

Don't worry, sir, this won't take long.

If someone is covering something up…

…we will soon have it out in the open.

-I wanna have a word with you. -Shh, number one son.

I understand that, uh, one of you…

one of you found this note.

Yes, I found the note.

Not that one, that one.

Gather, girls, gather.

Now, miss, you found the note, then what happened?

Well, I fainted.

Kopek, get some water.

Oh, Officer, you're so strong.

-Police training, miss. -Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

You said it would be smooth.

-It's smooth. -What about the two other notes?

Rip-offs.

Listen, the way that girl's loaded, we're lucky we thought of this idea

before somebody else did.

-We? -All right, but I did it for you.

Well, don't do me any more favours.

-You discover the note here. -No, it was there.

The exact position of the note doesn't matter.

Oh, but I thought you policemen had to be so careful about details.

For instance, if the note is in the mirror,

you wouldn't see who came in the door, you see?

You see, if you are sitting here…

Psst.

And you look in the mirror, you couldn't see who came in the door.

And they did, didn't they?

Yeah, somebody came in that door, right?

Therefore, we know the note wasn't delivered

until after she left the room, right?

Anyone entering the room wouldn't have been observed by her,

even if she'd been here, right?

Which she wasn't, right?

-Right. -Oh, you're so clever.

All right.

I'm sorry, miss.

I know she wasn't here when the note was delivered.

What I wanna know is what you know about what happened

after the note was delivered.

Oh.

Okay, okay, okay, everybody, get changed for the can-can number.

And you, don't forget your jockey shorts.

Forget your jockey…

Ah-ha, Peeping Tom.

Get outta here before I call the cops.

Sir, you can't go in there. There's someone ch--

-Ah! -Oh my god.

Uh, sir, miss.

What's the matter? Ain't you never seen a lady before?

Not with, I mean…

Hold that, hunky.

Yes, sir.

Huh-what?

Police procedure, sir.

Lewenhak here.

Sir, it's Henry.

-Your chauffeur. -Hold on.

It's all right, it's, uh, personal.

Go on. Something terrible has happened.

Matty's been kidnapped.

Two ruffians grabbed her, they rendered me unconscious,

and I've only just come to.

I'm very sorry, Mr Lewenhak.

Right, I'll, uh…

look into that.

Ha.

She's in the Crazy House. That's impossible.

Henry just phoned me.

So those other two notes were rip-offs, were they?

Well, who's ripping off whom?

Perhaps that gorilla of yours has gone into business on his own.

-Ha, he wouldn't do that. -You're right, he's too stupid.

Well, you better straighten this thing out, hadn't you?

Yeah, all right.

-Ah, ah. -Ah.

Remember, number one son in there.

Use a pay phone.

Well, I think this completes our interviews, sir.

-What about that one? -Which one was that, sir?

The tall one.

The…

You mean the shpatzir.

Hey, Sam.

Come here, the fuzz wants to talk to you.

Shpatzir?

No, but I got nobody here by that name, sir.

Kopek.

You, uh, looking for me?

Uh, I wanted to ask…

He wanted to ask you some questions.

I don't. Sam, you're on.

Catch you later.

Don't go away.

Sergeant Broom? Telephone.

-Wait here, Kopek. -Yes, sir.

Detective Sergeant Roscoe Broom here.

Flanagan?

Hold on.

Sir, oh, sir.

Sir, can you turn down the sound, please? I'm trying to talk.

Cut that out.

Oh, no, you don't.

Get it off, baby.

Take it off, take it off.

I heard that. I never forget a voice.

Sergeant Broom.

I'm a police officer, miss.

Now, wait a minute, miss.

Perverts. Look here, baby.

Well, I'm here again, Flanagan. Go ahead.

What?

What?

Good work, Flanagan.

Shpatzir.

-Yeah? -We have the wrong merchandise.

Someone else has got the real thing.

We have to talk.

I'll be there, one hour.

Yeah.

-Yeah? -Don't burn her.

Don't b--

Don't burn her.

Three weeks on the job, and I ain't got to burn anybody yet,

and they wonder why I'm a compulsive eater.

Let me out of here, you creep.

Come on and open this door.

Shut it up, lady.

The only way you're coming out of there is feet first.

Idle threats.

If she only knew my hands was tied.

On top of it, I have to starve to death, too.

It never, ever worked out that way when I was working with Bugsy.

What am I doing?

Ha, starve I don't for nobody.

Let me out, you creep.

Come on, you hear me.

All right, all units to rendezvous at 0200 hours at the Crazy House.

Central to car 007.

Confirm rendezvous location.

You heard me, Stitsky, the Crazy House.

All right, see to it, Stitsky.

Central to car 007, observe correct radio procedure.

Christ.

Watch it, fellas, it's Broom again.

That's it, Kopek, the closing of another net.

0200 hours

Kopek?

Yes, sir?

I just hope she isn't in the hands of some pervert.

I was thinking, sir.

Yes, Kopek?

We got an hour to rendezvous, right, sir?

Yes, Kopek.

That's 60 minutes, right, sir?

Yes, Kopek.

Could we get a pizza? I'm starving.

No anchovies, Kopek.

Yes, sir.

Here you are.

Shh.

Shh.

It's me, your son, Gino.

It's Gino.

No, no, Mama, no, no, no.

Penthouse, Playboy.

-Luigi, help me. -Pervert.

You don't understand. If I let her sing, my career is finished.

Not on your life, pervert.

-Sorry. -Trouble in the family, hey, Mario?

-A little bit. -Yeah.

Oh, sorry.

Hi, Luigi. Uh, Luigi, I would like a--

I'm Mario. Oh, yeah, right.

I'll have a large pizza to go, please, with the works.

Oh, and Luigi, double anchovies.

Large to go, double anchovies.

Thanks, Luigi. I'm Mario.

Yeah, right.

If you wanna go back there, it's okay.

What is going on?

Hey, hey, we have a business to run.

Do you have a dime?

-Me? -Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Right down here. There you go.

Thank you. You're welcome.

How's work?

Well, it's a bit of a drag.

Oh, no, it's busy.

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

I come in here all the time.

Yeah, I thought I'd seen you around.

Yeah, I never forget a face.

Yeah, anyway, well, it's better than being a hairdresser.

You know, nothing but tease, tease, tease.

Yeah, well, I'm still a tease, but now, it's a striptease.

Yeah, in my line of work, you're on the go all the time, you know?

You have to eat on the run.

-What do you do? -Well, take a guess.

No idea.

I'll give you a clue, To serve and protect.

Ugh, I give up.

-I'm a cop. -4.75.

-Right, thanks, Luigi. -Mario.

Right, Mario.

We'll see you around.

Yeah, I come in here all the time.

Yeah, I never forget a face.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, Luigi, give me a big one to travel, will you?

Mario.

That's not my name.

That's not my name.

-Mario? -Luigi.

All right, Luigi, make me a big one to go right away, will you?

Let's go, pronto.

Luigi, come here.

Come here.

I am Mario, this is Luigi.

This is Victoria.

Sandy, get me Rick quickly.

-Well? -Like a baby.

-How long? -Couple of hours.

He'll awake and think it was just a little nap.

No after effects.

Come on.

-Anybody seen my car keys? -Your car's not here.

You came back with the fuzz, remember?

I got a call from Vicky. I gotta pick her up.

Oh, how is she?

-She's fine. -Good night.

-Hey, what happened? -Hey, can I have your car?

Well, yeah, sure, but how do I get home?

-I'll drop you off, come on. -I haven't changed yet.

-Who cares? -Hey, hey, hey, what about my ride?

All right, you can come with us.

You better get your street clothes on, though.

-I am in my street clothes. -Oh, God.

Where is she? Where is she?

You cannot leave, please. Don't ruin my career.

Let go of her, buddy. Calm down, get in the car.

You can't do that.

Get in the car, you're not gonna get hurt.

-Listen, don't shoot. -Into the front seat of the car, let's go.

Look at that.

Hurry up, you too, front seat, let's go.

Come on.

Go.

Hang onto your hat.

Where is he?

Well, it's quite possible, sir, overcome by the pangs of hunger,

he's, uh, popped out for a pizza.

This isn't a picnic.

Well, there's nothing in his contract that says he shouldn't eat.

Well, there's nothing in the contract that says you don't deliver.

All right, let's go.

Out of the car, let's go.

Move.

Get in there, go on, hurry.

Here, there.

Inside. Go on, hurry.

Oh, that'll be him now.

Leo. Yeah?

Got that merchandise. What merchandise?

The broad.

-Come on, move it. -She mustn't see me.

This way.

All right, right down to the left here now.

Go on, move it. Come on, fast.

Come on, move it.

Through the curtains there. In here.

Hey, Leo, the boss is gonna be pretty happy, I guess,

with the job I've done here.

Just like when I was with Spiegel.

Just shut up and get them in the room. Come on, move it.

Come on, you heard him. Get in the room.

Get in there.

-Where did he come from? -He was with her.

Well, tie them up. Yeah, I'll tie them up.

It's her, all right.

She's got that singing teacher with her.

I'll go in, you two stay here.

You'd leave a young girl like me out here alone?

Don't make me nervous.

All right, come on.

It just doesn't pay to be a sex goddess.

Would you keep it down?

What is that?

I'll go and see.

It's creepy in here.

There's a man looking at us.

-Where? -Over there.

There's nothing there.

I'm not crazy, I saw eyes.

Shut up.

We gotta figure out what's going on.

We'll split up.

-Ruby, you go-- -Not me.

All right, Bruce, you-- Don't make me nervous.

I'm not going anywhere alone.

All right, I'll go upstairs, you two stay here.

It's the boyfriend.

Then you'd better get her out of here.

Get your man to take her for a ride or something while you sort this mess out.

We can't afford to blow this now.

-Zero hour minus one, Kopek, shh. -Right, sir.

-I think-- -Shh!

I think somebody should go for a policeman.

I'll go.

Ruby.

All right, you men, pay attention.

Now, for some of you, this is your first raid.

Shh, take cover.

Grab him.

Hold it!

All right, little lady, we're going for a ride.

A drive, not a ride.

-A ride is a drive is a ride. -Oh, shut up!

Shut up!

And you shut up!

All right, you're under--

Got him!

All right, son.

Wait a minute, what do you know about this girl?

Oh, my god.

What is it with you always ripping my clothes off?

I, um, uh…

Listen, I'm sorry.

Look, there's a guy in there.

You've said enough, you're in enough trouble.

The heat.

Take her downstairs and make yourself scarce.

Come on, little lady, through here.

Got one of them, I see, eh, Broom?

-Yes, sir, right said. Docstetter. -Sir?

Take care of that one.

-And Docstetter. -Sir?

This time, don't lose her, I mean him.

Yes, sir.

The heat.

I'll work a diversion.

If they think we've got the wrong girl, they'll split, think we've gone.

Now, we're going in there.

We're gonna secure the building.

Now, there's a young lady being held in there, no shooting.

Follow me.

-It's the mob. -The mob!

Oh.

Where did they get all of those men?

All right, this'll be a standard operation 86, on the whistle.

It'll be Hogart and his men upstairs, Sanchez, his men in that door,

Kopek and the rest of you men follow me.

On the whistle, wait for it.

Hold it.

Let me out. Kopek.

Let me out.

This way, Kopek.

I'm in the back room.

Let me out, let me out.

You're not Miss Lewenhak.

Kopek! Let me outta here, you creep.

Yes, sir. Let me outta here.

The door. Let me out, you creep.

Come on and open up this door.

Come on, you hear me.

All over by the actual arrest, sir.

Sir, sir. Let me out.

Let her out, Kopek. Sergeant Broom.

Kopek. Let me out.

Release Miss Lewenhak.

Come on and open up this door.

What the hell's going on here?

I'll teach you to throw me in a bag, honky.

-Wait a minute, miss, we're the police. -Well, it's about time.

I bet if I'd been white, you'd been here soon enough.

Wrong girl, eh, Broom?

You pay your taxes, and what do you get?

Some creeps throwing you in a bag, and you coming by, saying you're the law.

She's not Miss Lewenhak, sir.

Me, Victoria?

You sure you didn't forget your eyeglasses?

Kopek.

All right, where is she?

Somebody get Sanchez. Sanchez.

On the double with Sanchez.

What do you want with Sanchez?

He speaks Spanish, sir.

But he's speaking Italian.

Very clever. See what we're up against, sir?

Carry on, Sanchez.

Miss Lewenhak has been kidnapped.

-We're quite aware of that. -They went that way.

Didn't fool me for a minute, sir.

They probably have her here someplace in the building.

Kopek, get the lights.

The rest of you, follow me.

Don't worry, sir, they don't stand a chance.

All right, you men.

Follow me!

Kopek, hit the lights!

Search every room.

On the double, you men.

Find the lady.

Will you put me down?

I'm warning you, I do not wish to resort to physical violence.

Do you speak English?

Mr Lewenhak.

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

-Mr Lewenhak. -You're doing a fine job.

Kopek!

Kopek! Yes, sir?

Where are you? Over here, sir.

Where's over here?

Where are you, sir?

I'm-Kopek!

All right, you're…

Kopek!

Yes, sir?

Where are you, sir?

Turn off the power.

Yes, sir.

Power, power, mm.

Huh. Ooh.

Mm, oh.

Quick, there you are.

All right, each one of you will take a door.

There's gotta be a way out of here. On the whistle.

Wait a minute, I saw this door first.

I can't constantly be telling you men to take a door.

Take a door.

Hey, guys, it's a way out.

Can't we sit down and discuss this thing in a civilised way?

Where have you been? Looking for you.

Get me out of here.

Right, I'll get the gun.

Right, that way.

No, this way.

Come here.

Yeah, come here, come here, come here.

Simple order to take your own door, take your own.

Miss Livingston, I presume.

Lewenhak.

Lewenhak, of course.

Allow me to introduce myself, Miss Lewenhak,

Detective Sergeant Roscoe Broom.

And Officer Kopek.

Don't worry, miss, we'll have you out of here in no time at all.

Men, I found the lady.

-Men? -Where?

Men?

Where are you?

I told you, men, one per door.

Ooh.

Listen.

Wait a minute.

This whole thing has been grossly mismanaged.

All right.

If I ran my business like this… All right.

Sergeant Broom?

Sergeant Broom? Where are you, Sergeant Broom?

Ow, whoa.

Sergeant Broom?

Come here, Vitaly.

Vitaly, you're under arrest, got.

Mr Lewenhak.

-You? -I'm sorry.

Don't worry, sir, we got the whole situation under control.

I thought you knew the way out of here.

Yeah, well, it's, uh, this way.

Ah, this'll be the door.

It's about time.

That was the wrong door.

Good work, Hogan.

Up there.

I should've known.

Ooh, la, la.

Stop her, him, him.

Hey, will you, you, hey, hey!

I got her, get the lights.

All right, men, close in.

Get the guy in the mink coat, I'll get the other one.

All right, give me a hand.

What are you doing, what are you doing?

All right, get him up, get him up.

Watch the hat! Kopek!

Docstetter, what are you doing?

Sir.

-It's you. -That's right, now, listen.

You listen, I've had it with you.

-You're under arrest. -What's the charge?

Section 347, obstructing a police officer in the course of his duty,

section 1021, accessory before the fact,

and section 45, accessory after the fact.

-Hey, wait a minute. -Docstetter, give him his rights.

Yes, sir.

-Aw, shut up. -And Docstetter?

-You're back on traffic patrol. -Sir!

Article 87A, physical violence upon the person of a superior officer.

Miss Lewenhak!

Uh, young Docstetter, he's…

Miss Lewenhak! I'm coming, Miss Lewen--

Sir?

Hey, you, come here.

All right, lady, this is it.

All right, stand back.

All right, you're under arrest!

Good work, Kopek, hold him.

Vitaly.

Don't worry about it, sir, I think I got the whole situation.

I got my lifesaving badge anyway, sir.

All right, everybody stand back, or the broad gets it.

Go down stairs. All right.

Sir.

Don't worry, everything's completely under control.

Kopek, don't just stand there, get me up.

-Give me a hand. -Okay, sir.

Just crawl on my back.

Go up.

All right, everybody, nobody move, you understand?

Take it easy, Kopek, steady, we've almost got him.

All right, Vitaly.

Good work, Flanagan.

Now which way?

Down.

Lady, this never would've happened…

when I was with Bugsy Spiegel.

Where are you?

Kopek. Down here.

Down here, sir.

They're all under arrest.

Right, sir.

I think this calls for a slight change in strategy, eh?

Officer Flanagan received a citation from Chief Kominsky

and was assigned to permanent undercover duty.

Leo Regario and Vito the Trigger Vitaly, found guilty on charged of abduction,

received suspended sentences and deported to Little Italy.

J.K. Lewenhak, found guilty of conspiracy to abduct a minor,

and subverting the course of justice by bribing a juror.

Case dismissed on a technicality.

Decision upheld in the Supreme Court

in a precedent-setting decision by Mr Justice Lewenhak.

Charles Alexander Murphy with a pff,

otherwise known as Charlie the Wheel, found guilty on all counts,

sentenced to 99 years in the federal penitentiary.

Eluded the arresting officer in the washroom of the criminal court,

presently still at large.

Victoria Lewenhak and Rick McHenry found not guilty

of obstructing the police, and lived happily ever after.

Gino Frescobaldi, released on probation

into the custody of his brother, Mario Frescobaldi.

He continues to receive large fees

for teaching the uninitiated to sing opera.

Oh, thank you.

Gee, it was nice of Miss Lewenhak to send a car for us, sir.

A gesture, Kopek, a simple gesture.

Are you sure about the outfits, sir?

Trust me, Kopek.

You know, an opening night is a formal occasion,

and a formal occasion demands correct attire.

-Yeah, but I-- -Kopek.

When you see some of the other guests, you'll see what I mean.

-Buck and a quarter. -Buck and a quarter?

-What do they think this is, the Sands? -Guests of Miss Lewenhak.

-Sergeant Broom! -Charlie the Wheel!

Kopek, nab him!

Not him, you idiot.

Not me either! Wait a minute!

-Park your car for you, sir? -Yeah, thanks.

Right. Kopek.

Hold it, we're police officers.

Charlie the Wheel.

Hey, you don't work here.

-Hey, Hey. -Kopek! Damn it, Kopek.

What's going…

What's going on here? Let me go.

How did you get out? Never mind, I'll settle with you…

Kopek, follow that car.

Kopek, not that car, that car.

After them.

Take the wheel.

Sorry, sir, emergency, police department requires the use of this vehicle.

-Follow that car. -But what am I gonna tell Miss Lewenhak?

Where am I going to find a car?

Faster, Kopek, faster! Yes, sir, yes, sir.

Kopek. Yes, sir.

Get over here. Yes, sir.

-Give me that. -Yes, sir.

I told you right--

-You know, sir, I-- -Kopek.

Yeah, sorry, sir. Sir, I told you--

I distinctly told you back there, Kopek, to turn right, and you turned left.

-I know, sir. -You weren't paying attention.

I was, sir, it was--

Now you're the one that's gonna have to make the report out, Kopek.

-I don't want anything to do with it. -But sir, I--

Back there, I remember distinctly, turn right, I said.

-I thought you said left. -And you go left.

Right is right and left is left.

-I know that, sir. -No, you don't, Kopek.

It's your weight, Kopek.

-I've been telling you about your weight. -Sir, I--

I'm not going to talk to Kominsky about this, Kopek.

I'm going to let you… You know what, Kopek?

-What, sir? -I'm going on vacation.

-You can't-- -Don't say I can't. I can do it, Kopek.

-But, Sergeant Broom-- -Wait a minute.

I've accumulated, four, two… I've accumulated about three weeks leave.

You can have my two weeks too, sir, if you want.