Original subtitles

Okay. To wrap up this webcast...

Each of us is gonna paint a picture

in only 10 seconds.

And then you, the "iCarly" viewers,

are gonna vote online for whose painting is best.

Now guess what we're gonna paint on.

It's our wacky, little friend, Gibby.

Are you ready there, Gibby?

Sure. Whatever.

Ten seconds on the clock.

And go.

Try not to move.

Hold still, Gibby.

Five seconds. The brushes tickle.

Time.

Okay.

Now here's my painting.

Who's that? Freddie?

No, it's a clown.

Oops. Sorry, clown.

And now, let's take a look at Sam's painting.

Okay, I have no idea what that is.

It's a meatball.

Yes, Sam has painted her dream.

Okay. Till the next "iCarly."

Bye. Ciao.

See you.

And we're clear. Whoo.

Hey, you should go rinse the paint off first.

You're gonna ruin your shirt.

Who cares about my shirt?

Who cares about anything?

Not me.

What's wrong?

I don't wanna talk about it. Good.

Who's up for chicken wings? I know I am.

Gibby, seriously, what's the matter?

Shannon Mitchell, okay?

What about Shannon?

What's the prob?

I want her to like me,

but every time I try to talk to her,

I get all shy.

Why does she have to be so cute?

I'm goin' home.

Gibby...

I don't wanna talk about it.

Aw, poor kid.

It must be awful to love someone

who doesn't love you back.

Sorry.

In five, four, three, two...

♪ I know you see ♪

♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪

♪ And be so wonderful ♪

♪ Live life, breathe air ♪

♪ I know somehow we're going to get there ♪

♪ And feel so wonderful ♪

♪ It's all for real ♪

♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪

♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪

♪ It's your time to breath ♪

♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪

♪ Every time you see the brighter side ♪

♪ Of every situation ♪

♪ Some things are meant to be ♪

♪ So give me your best and leave the rest to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Just leave it all to me ♪

Oh, there he is.

Hey, Gibby.

What's up?

We came up with a great way to set you up with Shannon.

How?

On the next "iCarly,"

we're gonna play a game called "I win a date."

"I win a date"? Yeah.

And you're gonna be the special mystery date.

And we're gonna get Shannon to be one of the contestants.

So that way...

Who's your friend

and why is he staring at me like a freak?

Oh, this is Reuben.

Sorry.

It's like you were born sideways

over the moon with 2 1/2 scoops.

Zipang.

Okay, I think I gotta punch this kid

in the mouth.

Wait, I think he might be complimenting you.

Was that a compliment?

Hey, just 'cause I bump the chump

doesn't mean I lost my bingo trap.

That is so true.

No. No.

Stephanie, I really don't think we should go out again.

Come on, I didn't say I had a bad time last night.

It's just... Stephanie... Step... Steph...

Because I don't like you.

So, I guess your blind date went pretty well last night.

She brought her pet unicorn to dinner.

There's no such thing as unicorns.

Try telling her that.

I'm just gonna stay single the rest of my life.

They'll call me "Single Spencer,"

the guy with no lady to hold.

Why don't you try one of those dating websites

like whynotdateme.com, you know,

where lonely adults find even lonelier adults?

Sounds so tempting.

At least you get to see a video of the person

before you go on a date.

Yeah, but those websites are just so...

Hello?

Stephanie.

Stephanie...

No, I will not speak to your unicorn.

Because he's not real.

That website again?

Hey, Shannon.

Hey. Hey.

So, listen, you guys wanna be on the next "iCarly"?

Definitely. Oh, my God.

What are we gonna do?

Well, let's just say one of you is gonna win a date

with an awesome guy.

Freddie? I said "awesome guy,"

not "ridiculous goob."

I think Freddie is cute and smart.

Okay, what'd you eat for breakfast?

A big bowl of crazy flakes?

There's my raspberry soccer ball.

And speakin' of crazy flakes, it's you.

Hello there.

My name is Spencer Shay. Hello.

I've never used an Internet dating service before,

but my sister told me about this one,

whynotdateme.com.

So, why not date me?

I enjoy people.

What are you doing?

Making a video for whynotdateme.com.

Give me the remote.

What's wrong?

You're not being you.

You gotta be looser.

How do I not look...

Your shirt should be out,

these buttons should be undone,

and your hair needs some of this.

There.

What did you put in your hair?

Chicken fat. Oh, my God.

Gibby, ready to play "I win a date"?

Shannon's really in there?

Right through that door.

Man, this is intense.

Just remember, all your voices are gonna be

electronically disguised.

Why?

To keep your identities a mystery.

Then how will I know which one is Shannon?

She'll be girl number... You can't just tell him.

We have to keep the game real and fair.

But what if I don't pick Shannon?

Listen, there'll be three girls out there.

Girl number one,

girl number two,

and girl number three.

But how will I know which one is Shannon?

If you really want two go on a date with Shannon,

then you need two choose carefully.

That's all you have two... Two...

Do.

Okay.

Hey, you guys better come in here.

Be right back.

What? What's up?

Um, Celine and Julia aren't coming.

What? Why aren't they coming?

They got tickets to see "Girly Cow on Ice."

Why is it that whenever there's a popular TV show,

they just gotta go put it on ice?

Guys, we have seven minutes to figure out

how we're gonna play "I win a date"

without girl number one or girl number three.

Oh, Freddie, you're so good at math.

Well, let's hope he's good at hosting a game show.

Pardon?

And one, two, three, four, go.

Hello there.

My name's Freddie, and here tonight

on this special webcast of "iCarly,"

we're gonna play a new game called...

"I win a date."

Okay. First, let's meet our mystery date.

Now, keep in mind, his voice has been disguised

so that our girl contestants won't recognize him.

Hello, mystery date.

Hi. It's great to be here, Freddie.

And now, let's meet our three girls.

Remember, their voices have also been disguised.

Hello, girl number one.

Hello, Freddie, nice to see you.

Wow, my voice sounds so weird.

That's so cool.

Nice to see you.

And girl number two.

Hi, Freddie.

And, uh, girl number three.

Hey, Fredward. How's it hangin'?

And those are the three girls competing to win a date

with our mystery man.

Whichever girl he picks will join him

on a romantic dinner for two at the Cheesecake Warehouse.

Awesome.

Now, mystery man, you ask the questions,

listen to the girls' answers carefully,

and then, when it's all over,

it will be up to you to choose your girl.

Begin.

Okay. Girl number one.

Yes?

What is your favorite type of music?

What's your least favorite?

I guess rap.

Oh, well, I love rap. Yeah, rap music.

I listen to it all the time.

Rap is tight, yo.

Okay, girl number two.

I guess my fave music

would either be rock 'n roll or pop.

Hey, me too.

Cool.

How about you, girl number three?

Okay. Where is girl number three?

Mmm.

I loves me the cold chili.

Okay, mystery date.

You have time for one final question.

Cool. Girl number two.

If one day we were married,

how would you wake me up in the morning?

Well, I'd say, "Wake up, sleepy head,"

then I'll bring you a super nice breakfast in bed.

Sweet.

Girl number one,

how would you wake me up?

I'd yell, "Get up and go get a job,

you lazy sack,"

and then I'd pour hot soup on your face.

All right, mystery date.

That's the end of the final round.

Who will be your lucky date to the Cheesecake Warehouse?

It's time to choose.

Well, um, I-I gotta go with

girl number one.

Yay! Congratulate... What?

What?

What?

Why'd you pick me?

You were supposed to pick Shannon.

I didn't know Carly was girl number one.

It doesn't matter, anyway.

Shannon likes Freddie.

No, don't worry about that.

I'm in love with someone else.

Not happening. I know.

Sorry I ruined everything.

And don't worry,

you don't have to go on a date with me.

It'll be fun.

You know, cheesecake and you and me

and oh.

Hey, wanna give me a ride to school?

Sure, but I...

Come check this out first. What?

I made a new video for whynotdateme.com.

You know, looser like you suggested.

Cool. Let's see it.

Hey, there.

The name is Spencer.

What's with the baseball?

It's to make me look sporty.

Shh.

If you're looking for a fun, creative guy,

well, then, you just took a right turn

down the lucky street.

Why don't you go ahead and put it in park.

Send me an email.

Write it, click it, send it.

You just took a right turn down lucky street?

That doesn't make a girl wanna email you.

That makes a girl wanna go...

All right.

I'll make a new video.

Good.

Now, what did you break with your baseball?

Nothin'. Did you kill our gold fish?

Yes.

I think he wanted to die.

That fish had hopes and dreams.

Um, hey, Carly.

I-I made reservations at the Cheesecake Warehouse

for tonight at seven,

unless you decided that you don't wanna go.

Of course, I wanna go.

We're gonna have a great time.

Just you and me

alone at the table for three hours.

Oh.

Hey, how about a pop for the boomerang?

He wants to know if you want a double date,

you and me, him and Sam.

Yes. Sam would love that.

It's a date, a double date.

Yay, Sam will be so happy.

Okay. Well, see you there.

Tell Sam I'll be ready to hang my socks

on the monkey parade.

Absolutely.

These are love notes.

Uh-oh. From Shannon?

Uh-huh.

And try taking a test

while she's staring at you like this.

Please never make those faces again.

What's it gonna take to make Shannon understand

I don't wanna go out with her?

Uh...

Maybe you should go out with Shannon.

Why? I thought you were still trying

to get her and Gibby together.

I am. I have my date with Gibby tonight,

and Sam is going with Reuben.

Sam and Reuben? Long story.

But, you should invite Shannon,

so we can try to make her like Gibby.

If that'll get her to leave me alone, fine.

Then, tonight we triple date. What triple date?

Carly and Gibby, me and Shannon, you and Reuben.

You set me up with Reuben?

No, no, no, not me. No.

Get her off of me. Get her off of me.

Get her off.

Help. Help. Help. Help. It was me.

I set you up with Reuben. Why would you...

Because he wanted to go out with you

and I didn't wanna be alone with Gibby for three hours.

Well, I'm not going. Oh, yes, you are.

You wanna know why? Why?

'Cause when you're mother got chickenpox,

I helped you rubbed calamine lotion

all over that woman,

and those pox where everywhere.

You're a good friend.

No, you didn't. I swear.

Hey. Hey, what you doin'?

Ah, I just made a new video for whynotdateme.com.

My mom got banned from that website.

So, let's see your new video.

Okay. I try to keep it simple and real.

Here, take a look.

Just you eating cereal?

Uh-huh.

How long does it go on?

Like nine minutes.

Dude.

I know. I couldn't think of anything better.

I guess I should go take a shower.

Why? 'Cause I always get

my best ideas when I'm wet.

Okay. We need a plan for tonight.

We got to make sure Shannon ends up with Gibby.

Well, Shannon likes Freddie

so let's just tell Gibby to act like Freddie.

Nah. Gibby has got to be himself.

Yeah. Look where that's got him in life.

You're so right.

These are the biggest salads in the history of mankind.

I know. I'm already full and I hadn't even made a dent.

I'm out of salad.

Wow.

You can make a dog bark faster than a fish could climb a tree.

True that.

True what?

So, Freddie,

how did you get to know so much about computers?

Oh, actually, I...

Oh, Gibby taught me.

Didn't you, Gibby?

Um, yes.

Yes, I-I did.

Really? I didn't know you're into computers.

What kind do you have?

Um, it's white.

Well, these salads aren't gonna eat themselves.

I think Freddie is such a cute name.

Gibby's middle name is Freddie.

Really?

It sort of is.

It's close to Freddie.

Well, what is it?

Cornelius.

Okay. Who could eat a piece of cheesecake this big?

Shouldn't there be a law that says,

"my dessert can't weigh more than me."

I know, might as well tie a knot

around two kangaroos.

You know what I'm sayin'?

No. No, Reuben.

I don't know what you're sayin'.

Pretty much nobody ever knows what you're sayin'.

Know what I'm sayin'?

All right. Let's be cool. Yeah, Sam.

You don't need bubble wrap to know when it's chowder time.

Yes. That is so true.

And you know what else is true?

I'm sitting here eating cheesecake

with an Australian Eskimo

who's got ointment all over his bumble Berry.

Oh, I can't believe you just said that to me.

What did you say?

I don't know, but I'm glad I said it.

Pass the whipped cream.

So, how great is this cheesecake?

Cheesecake is like my favorite dessert.

Gibby invented cheesecake.

No, I didn't.

Well, someone had to.

I'm so confused.

Well, don't be.

Just love Gibby.

Love him and never let him go.

What?

Look, Shannon.

I got a big crush on you, all right?

But I know you like Freddie,

so I've been trying to act like him

so you'll like me.

Shhh. It could still work.

I don't want it to work.

Look, I'm not like Freddie.

I don't know about tech stuff.

I don't have a boyish cute smile.

I'm all Gibby. You know what that means?

Tell her what that means, Gibby.

It means I like to dance with my shirt off.

Turn up the music.

♪ ♪

And this is the real Gibby.

This is what I...

Where is Shannon?

She fled the restaurant.

Oh.

Don't be sad, Gibby.

Shannon is not so hot.

Yeah. You can find a way better girl than her.

Sure. Where?

Why don't you look right here?

I like your moves.

Turn the music back up.

♪ ♪

This is unreal.

What's unreal?

Well, you know that nine-minute video

of me eating cereal,

the one you and Sam said was so lame?

Which it was.

Well, I put it up on whynotdateme.com

and guess who's already got nine responses?

Wow. So, you got nine dates comin' up.

Well, no.

See, these four are from women in prison.

Ah.

And these three are from women

who recently got out of prison.

Interesting.

And these two are from psychologists

who feel that they can... help me.

Nice.

What about that one? Oh, that one is new.

Hey, she's kind of pretty.

That's a dude. Oh.

Hi. I'm Samantha and my talent

is making really cool animal noises.

Check it out.

Bye. Thanks for listening.