Original subtitles

Janky water fountain.

Carly Shay from "iCarly," right?

Yeah. Hi.

Philip Brownly.

I'm a junior over Briarwood Prep.

Oh. Cool.

The water fountain kind of sprayed me.

Ah.

I didn't want you to think I was sweaty or drooly.

You're even funnier in person.

Listen, I'm the student council president

at Briarwood.

Oh, fancy.

You know, We're the number one private school in Seattle.

Yeah. I heard that.

Don't you guys have, like, your own private jet?

Helicopter. Right.

I know it was some sort of flying vehicle.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, on behalf of Briarwood,

this is for you.

What is it?

An invitation for an interview with our headmaster,

Mrs. Peeloff.

She thinks you might fit in nicely at Briarwood.

Wow, thanks.

But wait, isn't Briarwood really expensive?

Full scholarship.

If Mrs. Peeloff meets you and everything goes well,

you get to go at Briarwood for free.

But why me?

Cause you're kind of famous.

You're the star of "iCarly."

Well, are you offering the same thing for Sam?

We were until we checked Sam's grades.

I understand.

So think about it and someone will be in touch.

Okay. Thanks.

Hey, Seth.

Do me a favor and press

the water fountain button there.

Sure.

Just push it?

Yeah. When I say "go."

Okay. Go.

In five, four, three, two...

♪ I know you see ♪

♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪

♪ And be so wonderful ♪

♪ Live life, breathe air ♪

♪ I know somehow we're going to get there ♪

♪ And feel so wonderful ♪

♪ It's all for real ♪

♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪

♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪

♪ It's your time to breath ♪

♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪

♪ Every time you see the brighter side ♪

♪ Of every situation ♪

♪ Some things are meant to be ♪

♪ So give me your best and leave the rest to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Just leave it all to me ♪

Okay, Mr. Man.

Here comes my ball.

Oh.

Ha-ha. You missed.

Yeah.

You just wait, buddy, cause I'm coming for you.

Oh, hey.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation

between you and your wooden man friend.

He's not my friend.

See, I'm in for a job to design a new mini golf course.

Oh, cool. Yeah, it could be.

See, I gotta create a bunch of test holes,

Shoot a video of them and then, send it off

to the dude in charge of that mini golf park.

You know, the one down by the airport?

King putts? Uh-huh.

Do you want to get that?

Of course not, you're made of wood.

It's true.

Hey. I grabbed your mail for you.

How did you get in our mailbox?

Yeah. You need the key.

No, you don't.

Hey, let's go rehearse one more time

before the show tonight.

Freddie is not here yet. Give me your cell phone.

What are you doing?

Texting Freddie...

And send.

Oh, what's all that stuff?

Golf holes.

Spencer is up for a job designing...

Carly, I just got your text.

You mean it for real?

What did your text say?

I love you.

Oh, get over it.

You were unloved before, You're unloved now.

Nothing's changed.

A scholarship to Briarwood Prep?

Oh, yeah. How funny is that?

Briarwood? That snotty rich kid's school?

For the rich and snotty?

They offered you a scholarship?

Well, sort of, If their headmaster likes me.

But I don't think I'd want to go to Briarwood.

Good. You better not leave Ridgeway.

Did I just not say I don't wanna go to Briarwood?

I'm not sure.

I'm too focused on doing this.

Oh!

Yeah, buddy.

You see that?

Ow.

Whoo. Look at this.

Briarwood has its own ice hockey rink.

You said you didn't wanna go there.

I know.

Then quit looking at their dumb website.

Man, we're live in 15 seconds. Off my laptop.

Pushy.

Okay.

We're live

in five, four, three, two.

Hey.

Thanks for coming here to iCarly.com.

Warning.

The following greeting maybe frightening

to younger viewers and the elderly.

Freddie, it's monster voice time.

Go for it.

I'm Carly.

I'm Sam.

And this is...

ICarly. ICarly.

ICarly. ICarly.

ICarly. Okay.

So, you guys know how golf is like

a really boring sport, right?

Wrong. That's right, wrong.

'Cause Carly's brother, Spencer, is building

One of the coolest golf courses ever.

Well, mini golf.

Which is like regular golf. Only minier.

Check this out.

Carly's brother calls this the "toilet bowl hole."

And he calls this one "the crazed toddler."

Let's putt d'putt.

Yes.

You see that? Oh, yeah.

All right. Yeah.

Okay. Okay, here we go.

Oh. Yeah.

Hole-in-one.

Hey. Hey, Spencer.

Hey. Whatcha doing?

I'm trying to fix this thing.

For some reason, the bell won't ring

When the thing...

Spencer. Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think the bell is working now.

Ah!

Come on, get up. Okay.

Hey, Gibby.

What you doing here?

We saw the mini golf stuff on "iCarly."

We wanna play. Whoa, whoa, you guys.

This isn't a real course.

We'll give you money.

Okay.

Five bucks per kid.

Hey, I can't take money from children.

I can.

Come on.

You want these kids to spend 10, 20 bucks

At some boring mini golf course out there in the cold and rain

Where bad kids may tempt them with unhealthy snacks?

Well, when you putt it that way.

Please enjoy the course.

Yeah!

Let's do this.

Hi.

I got a package for Shay, comma, Carly.

I'm Shay, comma, Carly.

Those are turkey legs.

Well, okay.

Who's it from?

What does the card say?

It says, "Please consider joining us

"as you enjoy this fine turkey legs.

Your friends, the students and teachers of Briarwood."

They sent you turkey legs?

Wow. They really want you at that school.

Yeah.

Carly...

What are you thinking'?

I'm thinking about a bunch of sad turkeys going,

"What happened to my legs?"

"Have you seen my legs?"

Hey.

I was wondering where you were?

I were here.

Did all those kids finish playing golf downstairs?

Yeah. I finally got them all to go home.

You know that redheaded kid, Ernie?

He swallowed two golf balls.

Oh, my God. What did you do?

Should I have done something?

You're checking out the Briarwood websites?

Yeah.

Do you think I'm being dumb about this?

Why, are you thinking you might wanna go there?

I'm not gonna leave Ridgeway and Sam and Freddie,

and all my friends.

You don't have to. You're my brother.

You're supposed to encourage me to take on new challenges.

Well, if you wanna explore the possibilities...

Just tell me what to do.

Okay. Listen.

I'm your older brother so I'll help you

through this difficult decision.

Just close your eyes.

Okay.

Okay.

There are two roads in front of you,

road "A".

And the one on the left...

Thank you.

And surprisingly,

17 members of congress

could fit into one pair of his pants

which proves that William Howard Taft

was the fattest president

the United States has ever known.

Um, will this all be on the test?

Oh, Carly, here at Briarwood we don't have tests,

we have frozen yogurt.

Frozen yo...

Oh. Okay.

Would you like any toppings?

Well, I do like nuts.

Nuts.

Now, who can tell me how many sides a triangle has?

Three. Correct.

David, please give Carly a hundred dollars.

I get a hundred bucks

whenever I answer a question right?

Of course.

This is Briarwood.

Massage time.

Oh, oh, this school is amazing.

I'm gonna have some more of my yogurt now.

Oh.

Oh, it was just a dream.

Hey and welcome to the web show.

Huh?

Carly is not on this show anymore

'cause she goes to Briarwood now.

And made all new friends,

But don't worry I'm not alone here.

I'm Gibby.

And I'm Sam.

And this is a little show we like to call...

IGibby. Okay.

Okay, first, I had a sweet dream,

now I'm having a nightmare.

I wanna dream sweetly some more.

Oh.

Oh.

This is nice.

I like Briarwood.

Briarwood.

Briarwood.

And frozen yogurt.

Frozen yogurt.

Frozen yogurt.

With nuts.

Nuts.

Nuts.

Nuts.

Yeah.

Sam.

Sam, my mom has been in a horrible accident.

Calm down. I got to get to the hospital.

My mom's car is in the bottom...

Your mom's fine.

But, I just got a message saying...

I sent the message to your teacher.

I needed to get you out of class so we could talk.

How did you?

Yes, can you please give a message to Freddie Benson.

His mother drove her car into a swimming pool.

You are a sick person.

We've got a problem.

What kind of problem?

In homeroom, Carly told me she's gonna have that interview

with the headmaster of Briarwood.

Briarwood?

Carly's gonna go there?

If the headmaster likes her.

Well, who doesn't like Carly?

That's the problem, wiz pants.

Of course she'll like Carly,

and then Carly will go there,

make all new friends and then bye-bye us.

I don't want to be bye-bye'd.

Good.

'Cause I have a plan, and you're gonna help me.

Come on.

Come on.

What's taking so long?

I'm still on hold.

Are you sure we should be doing this?

Yes. We're doing it for Carly, She would not like Briarwood.

I know, but...

And if she stays here there's a better chance

she'll fall in love with you someday.

You're right.

We have to do this for Carly.

But what if the headmaster doesn't believe I'm Spencer?

I mean, like, what if she...

Hello, this is Spencer Shay.

Sound like Spencer not Darth Vader.

Ah, yes, this is Carly Shay's Brother.

Instead of Carly coming to meet you

at Briarwood,

could you meet with her at our apartment?

Why?

Because I sprained my buttocks.

Right, so can we say around 5:30 this afternoon?

Excellent.

Yes, the same address that you sent the turkey legs.

I look forward to meeting you too.

Ha, nice work. Thanks.

But why does moving the interview

to Carly's place help us?

Well, the headmaster wants to make sure

Carly is, mm, Briarwood material, right?

A nice proper good girl?

Yeah.

Well, imagine an interview

in an apartment

filled with dozens of loud screaming kids,

playing mini golf.

"Free mini golf

"tonight at Carly Shay's apartment,

5:30 to midnight."

Uh-huh.

You're bad.

Uh-huh.

Hey, what you doing in the sink?

Ah, it's backed up.

Some kid shot a golf ball down the drain.

There.

I wish that hadn't happened.

Yeah, look, would you help me

pick out an outfit for my interview?

Do I go with black dress?

Or is the black dress too serious,

'cause I don't want to look like

I'm trying all hard to be serious,

but, oh, my God, I'm so nervous.

Okay, everybody right this way.

Hey, hey. What's going on?

Mini golf party. Right now?

I'm getting ready to leave for my interview.

Your Briarwood interview?

Is that tonight?

Yes, it's tonight.

Don't worry, We're just gonna play

a few rounds.

Come on you guys, this isn't the time for...

I'll be right back.

The mini golf course is full.

I'm sorry.

My name is Linda Peeloff.

Are you Carly? Yeah.

I'm the headmaster at Briarwood.

I'm here for your interview.

Oh. Ah.

Please come in, Mrs. Peeloff.

Interesting.

Yeah, wasn't I supposed to meet you

in like two hours at Briarwood?

Originally.

But I received a phone call ask me to come here at 5:30.

But who would... Move lady.

Dear, is this really where you live?

Yes, ma'am, but it's usually not like this,

You see my brother's an artist and...

Hey, Carly.

Who's the chick?

This is Mrs. Peeloff, the headmaster of Briarwood.

Hey, hey.

What's up, Peeloff?

Hello.

Aha.

And this is my brother.

Spencer, this is the headmaster of Briarwood.

Oh. Hello.

How are your buttocks?

My buttocks?

Fine.

Firm.

So, you're Carly's guardian?

Yes I am.

Oh, this is just food.

Lovely.

Oh!

Mrs. Peeloff, it's so noisy down here,

Why down we go upstairs and do the interview?

Very well.

We can take the elevator over there.

Why is she here? I don't know.

I thought we were gonna meet her at Briarwood?

So am I. This is terrible.

She asked about my buttocks. Forget about your buttocks.

Just do your interview. Okay, I'm gonna do it.

Shh. Okay, you "shh!"

Ohh.

Oh, um...

Okay, everyone.

Please go play downstairs for a while.

Guys.

People.

Please get out now.

Hurry along.

Please sit down, Mrs. Peeloff.

Thank you.

Now Carly...

Why don't you start by telling me

a little bit about you?

Well...

Flush.

Hey. Quiet down.

Hey listen up.

Okay, whoever finds the magic purple golf ball

wins a special ticket

that gives you free mini golf for a year.

A whole year?

Well, give us a hint where it is?

Okay.

It's upstairs in the iCarly studio,

inside a grown up ladies pocket.

First one to find it wins.

Well, Carly, you're a charming young lady.

Oh, Mrs. Peeloff.

I'd really think the student body at...

Where is it? Where is it?

What are you doing? Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Give me the ball, lady.

I want that ball!

Giddy, what are you doing?

Trying to find the purple golf ball.

What purple golf ball?

The one Sam and Freddie told us about.

We are good.

We are.

Why?

Why what?

I'm not playing.

Why did you guys intentionally sabotage my interview?

Don't nonchalantly sip your drinks.

Answer me.

We didn't want you to go.

You wouldn't like it at Briarwood.

We were just thinking of you.

No, you were just thinking of yourselves.

Carls.

This interview was really important to me.

You don't wanna go to snotty rich kid school.

Maybe I don't or maybe I did, but it doesn't matter now

'cause I'll never be able to make the choice,

'cause you guys ruined it for me.

Come on, what we did wasn't that bad.

Hey. Purple ball.

They... they wanted a purple ball.

I never had a purple ball.

I'm going home now.

Wait. Mrs. Peeloff.

Don't blame Carly for all this stuff.

She had nothing to do with it.

We tried to mess up her interview cause...

'Cause, she's like our best friend.

And we didn't want her to leave our school.

'Cause we'd miss her.

But she's likes the best kid

you could ever get at Briarwood.

So don't not let her in

just because she's got a couple of rotten friends.

You guys aren't rotten, usually.

Well, I do think,

there's something to be said for a girl who has friends,

who care so much about her.

We do.

So I might still get in to Briarwood?

Well I won't make any promises,

but I think

there's a good chance a student...

There she went. Give me the purple ball.

I don't have the purple ball!

There she is! Get her!

Oh, my God!

Go help her.

Okay.

Hey, guys get out of there.

Come on.

They chased her into Spencer's shower.

I didn't really want to go to Briarwood anyway.

Hey. Here's 17 reasons

why iCarly.com rocks.

It's way funny.

Carly's hot. Freddie is hot.

Spencer's insane. Sam's hilarious.

The website is well-designed.

There's tons of things that you can click on.

Carly's hot. You said that.

Cool pics. Killer music.

Funny blogs. Carly's hot.

Stop it.

And that's 17 reasons...

Why iCarly.com. Rocks.