Original subtitles

Okay, Halloween checklist.

I got my pumpkin carving knife,

I got my pumpkin scraping spoon,

and I got my super scary pumpkin face design.

Ah!

I'm home! I never left!

What you doin'?

I'm just gettin' ready to turn a plain, old

everyday pumpkin into a serious,

butt-kickin' Jack-o'-lantern.

Ah. So where's Mr. Pumpkin?

Socko's bringin' one over. Gotta love Socko.

Yup.

So, what are you doin' for Halloween?

A very special "iCarly" Halloween Webcast.

Appropriate.

What are you and Sam gonna talk about?

You know, all things Halloween-y.

Halloweeny.

Hey, look. We got a letter addressed

to apartment 13-B.

Who lives in 13-B? I don't know.

It says "occupant."

Well, then, just take it down to the doorman.

Lewbert? Gross, no, eww.

He's not that bad.

Uh-huh, and his crazy wart freaks me out.

Then just don't look at it. Yeah, that's so possible.

It's like a big, brown, hairy gumdrop.

You know, I had a dream where it talked to me.

What did it say? I don't know.

It only speaks Spanish.

Hey, can I have a sip of your tea?

Sure...

But that's gasoline.

Kidding!

Aah!

I spent three weeks making that for you!

All right, Mom, I'll wear it! Gah!

I knew you'd laugh. I'm not laughing.

Sometimes my lip just quivers like this.

Uh-huh.

You just better take that off before Sam sees you in it.

I can't take it off.

My mom made it for me, and I promised her

I'd wear it tonight while we do "iCarly."

Bummer for you.

Hey, I gotta take this letter down to the lobby.

Wanna come? Sure.

Okay, so, do you wanna take the stairs,

or do you wanna fly us there on your broom?

Nice. I'm sorry!

Don't get mad and turn me into a toad!

Carly! I can't help it!

Socko, my bud, you got the pumpkin?

Awesome. I got my carving knife all ready to cut.

Just bring that puppy on up here.

Oh, in the elevator?

Oh, how come you're not comin' up?

Not enough room.

What do you mean there's not enough room?

Oh, my God.

In five, four, three, two...

♪ I know you see ♪

♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪

♪ And be so wonderful ♪

♪ Live life, breathe air ♪

♪ I know somehow we're going to get there ♪

♪ And feel so wonderful ♪

♪ It's all for real ♪

♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪

♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪

♪ It's your time to breath ♪

♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪

♪ Every time you see the brighter side ♪

♪ Of every situation ♪

♪ Some things are meant to be ♪

♪ So give me your best and leave the rest to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Leave it all to me ♪

♪ Just leave it all to me ♪

Hey, Lewbert, the mailman

put this letter in our box by mistake.

Hey! Hey, boy.

What? You makin' fun of me?

No. Why do you think I'm making fun of...

What's with that fake wart on your face?

You think warts are funny?

You think I'm happy this thing grew here?

You think I like that it has hair?

No. My mom made this costume.

Well, she's sick!

You got a sick momma!

Um, if you could please

just give this letter to whoever lives

in apartment 13-B? Not possible!

No one's lived in 13-B for 15 years.

But why would you keep

an apartment vacant for 15 years?

'Cause the last guy who lived there

said he heard noises, saw strange things.

What? You mean like ghosts?

I can't say no more! But I...

I asked him a simple question and he responded...

Hey, that lady's lived here longer than anybody.

Why don't we ask her about 13-B?

'Kay.

Um, excuse me, ma'am.

I'm Carly Shay, eighth floor, Capricorn.

I think her name's Mrs. Halberstadt.

Mrs. Halberstadt, we were wondering

if you knew anything about apartment 13-B.

Hello?

Oh!

'Scuse me!

Okay, that was weird.

Something really bad must have happened

in that apartment.

Yeah.

Hey, here comes Sam. Oh, great.

She's gonna see me in this costume

and insult me 19 different ways.

Too easy.

Wait.

So, Lewbert said the apartment's haunted?

Pretty much.

Man, now I wanna sneak in there and check the place out.

Hey, that's perfect.

What? What's perfect?

Let's do "iCarly" tonight from apartment 13-B.

No! Yes!

Come on, Freddie.

Halloween night, we do a live webcast

from a supposedly haunted apartment.

I say no.

If only someone cared what you say.

And what are you, afraid?

No.

I'm just concerned for Carly's safety.

I'll be fine.

Oh, my God, giant pumpkin.

What do you mean... whoa, daddy.

Look at that thing.

Big, right?

That's a pumpkin?

Did it grow next door to a nuclear power plant?

Can we eat it?

My mom makes me dinner, like, twice a year, okay?

All right.

It's time to carve

the biggest Jack-o'-lantern of all time.

How do you carve a pumpkin that big?

Same way I make onion rings.

Stand back!

Hey, "iCarly" starts in an hour.

I'm gonna go put on my costume.

I'm about to hit guts!

Aah!

Come on! Come on! Let's go!

Don't take this personally!

13-B.

I say this is a bad idea.

Dude, calm down. No one lives here.

And there's no such thing as ghosts.

It's locked. Uh-oh, locked.

Guess we have to do "iCarly" from our usual studio.

I'm disappointed, but, oh, well.

I have a plan to get us in.

What? Okay.

Lewbert has keys to all the apartments, right?

So, I'll go down to the lobby and fake

like I'm choking on a meatball, then you and Sam sneak in,

and when Lewbert's not looking...

We're in. Never mind.

Here we go.

"ICarly" in a haunted apartment.

Get in there, witchiepoo.

Uh, I have to go make my mom a salad.

Don't shove! Ow!

Hey, careful!

Sam!

Would you... ah. Careful!

Where's the light switch?

I got it.

What a dump.

Looks like nobody's been here for years.

It's creepy.

And it smells like dead bugs.

Can we please not talk about dead bugs

while I'm wearing this?

All right. Let me establish a cross-duplex transmission

between my laptop and my camera.

Wow. A tech-talkin' witch boy.

Look out, ladies.

And "iCarly" is live

in five, four, three, two...

Happy Halloween!

Do the scary music.

♪ Ooh whee ooh ♪

Why the scary music?

'Cause tonight, "iCarly" comes to you

live from an abandoned apartment...

That people swear is haunted.

So, are there really such things as ghosts?

And if so, are there ghosts living in this very apartment?

Do it with me this time.

♪ Ooh whee ooh ♪

Now, we pledge to stay right here...

In this abandoned apartment...

Webcasting to you live till midnight...

'Cause we're here to prove...

That you need light to do a web show.

Freddie, turn the lights back on.

I didn't turn 'em off.

Freddie. I swear.

Well, if you didn't, then who did?

Wait a sec. What happened?

I just felt something on my leg.

Oh, come on, Carly.

Okay, guys. Quit playing aro...

Get it off me! Get it off me!

Kids and Halloween fun.

Freddie, what are you doing?

I'm setting up the night vision lens.

Okay, let's see if this works.

Perfect. Everybody watching can see you guys now.

Okay. It's still Halloween, and we're webcasting to you live

from an abandoned apartment... Where things seem

to have taken a turn for the freaky...

'Cause it looks like this place may

actually be haunted. But I doubt it.

Just a little thunder. Get out!

Go away!

That didn't sound like thunder, Sam.

Now, can we leave?

We made a pledge to stay.

Get out!

I vote we cancel the pledge. I second Sam's vote!

Let's bail!

It's not opening! Come on, just turn the knob!

It won't turn!

Try hitting it with something!

Ow, ow, ow! Not me!

Ow, ow!

Now that is a pile of pumpkin guts.

Comin'.

Trick or treat.

Hey, how you guys doin' tonight?

Good. Those are some great costumes.

Just give us the candy.

I see.

Funny story, kids.

You see, I was gonna buy candy

after I carved my pumpkin, but...

Yeah. We don't care.

Give us treats.

Ow, you're killing me!

Get out! Leave!

Go away!

I will kill you!

All right.

You guys get a six-pack of diet root beer,

a box of macaroni,

and a pouch of tuna fish.

Happy Halloween!

Stupid door!

Come on!

Open it!

Get out! We're trying!

Ow! Ow!

The doorknob came off!

Why'd you pull off the doorknob?

'Cause I wanted it for my knob collection!

Would you guys not fight in front of the ghost?

There's no such thing as ghosts.

Grow up, Sam!

Okay. As you know, we pledged to you,

the fans of "iCarly," that we will not leave

this apartment until midnight tonight.

A pledge we will now keep

since Freddie yanked the knob off the door.

Run to the closet!

Everybody in here?

I'm here. Here.

Wait, whose butt is this? Sam.

Sorry.

Trick or treat!

Hey, happy Halloween!

Give us treats.

Well, okay then, Mr. Pushy.

Here's a carton of eggs,

pork chop...

jumper cables!

There you go.

And a coconut. Enjoy.

This isn't candy.

I'm sorry, I don't have any candy,

but come back next year, okay?

Yeah, we'll be back.

Okay. Freddie is filming me and Sam as we hide in the closet

of an abandoned apartment...

Which we think is haunted, if we didn't know

there's no such thing as ghosts.

Yeah, keep hangin' on to that dream.

I wish we could see in here.

Oh, there's a little light on my keychain here.

Let me just turn this baby on and...

Oh, good. Now we can see in the...

Clown head!

Whoa, that was close.

Hey, why do my hands feel wet?

What's on my hands? Sam, that's blood!

Blood?

Ew, ew, ew, ew!

Eww, eww, eww, eww!

And there you go.

Enjoy those ice cubes.

All right. I got to finish this pumpkin.

Comin'.

Macaroni, ice cubes, and jumper cables?

Okay, look.

I'm not gonna be intimidated by a bunch of...

Get him! Whoa!

Aah!

I gotta hide.

Hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

I got a noise complaint!

What's going on here?

There's a dude in there who ticked us off.

We wanna beat him up.

Okey-dokey.

Beat him quietly!

Quietly!

Anybody see him? Nope.

He's gotta be here somewhere.

Okay, we thought this would be a cool place

to webcast from on Halloween.

But it turns out this apartment really is haunted.

This could be the very last "iCarly" Webcast ever.

And if anything horrible happens to us...

Mom, I lied to you.

Those pants do make you look fat.

Die, die, die.

Aah!

Oh! Oh!

Mrs. Halberstadt?

What's going on here?

Mother, do you know these people?

What?

Who are you? And what are you doing here?

I'm Gary.

I live here. Huh?

What?

We thought this apartment was vacant.

No. I've lived here with my mother for the last 20 years.

Why are you here?

Well, we do this web show.

"ICarly." I what?

ICarly.

We're kinda doin' it right now.

We heard this place was haunted.

Why do you want a marshmallow?

This apartment isn't haunted.

Then why'd all the lights go out for no reason?

This switch shorts out sometimes.

This one works fine.

Why is everyone whispering?

Mother, turn on your hearing aid.

What?

Better?

You don't have to shout.

She's always forgetting to turn on her hearing aid.

That explains why she didn't hear you

in the lobby.

Well, yeah, but that doesn't explain

why we heard someone screaming, "Get out! Get out!"

And a bunch of crazy thumping.

Oh, there was an awful spider in my room,

and I was trying to kill it with my tennis racket.

Wait.

What did we feel scratching on our legs?

And what knocked all that glass stuff off the shelves?

Abigail. Yes.

Where is she?

Abigail, where are you, sweetheart?

Oh, there she is.

She's always getting into mischief.

Who's mommy's wicked, little pussycat, huh?

Well, explain the severed clown head

in the closet.

Yeah. What about the severed clown head?

Yeah. Severed clown head?

Oh.

It's a phone.

See?

Well, how come it's not plugged in?

It was.

No one ever called.

Any more questions? Yeah.

Just before you came home, your mother walked in saying,

"die, die, die."

Oh, I was just looking for my red hair dye,

and here it is all spilled out.

So it wasn't blood.

Okay, I guess this apartment isn't so haunted.

Whoops.

Well, we're sorry we went in here without permission,

but when we saw this furniture...

We thought it was too old and gross

for anyone to actually use. Oh!

Okay, wait.

Something still doesn't make sense.

Why did Lewbert tell us that no one lives here?

'Cause I'm a jerk! Ha!

Ah, I got you kids good.

Score one for Lewbert.

Happy Hanukkah.

Halloween.

We can't find him.

He's gotta be here somewhere.

Maybe he crawled up the...

Socko, this is not a good time to call.

He's in the pumpkin! No, I'm not!

I am the spirit of Halloween!

Pumpkin noises.

Open the elevator!

Ah! Help me push him in!

Come on, guys, stop rolling me!

Where's your Halloween spirit!

Hey.

What are you kids doing with that pumpkin?

There's a dude in here!

We're gonna roll it down the street.

And into the ocean.

Happy Hannukah.

Stop!

The spirit of Halloween can't swim!

No, no, no, no! Not into the traffic!

Not into the traffic!

No!

Get out!

So this wasn't exactly a normal "iCarly" webcast.

But it was kind of wacky.

Perhaps too wacky.

Yet very Halloweeny.

And now we're done.

Don't forget to keep comin' back to iCarly.com

and checkin' out our site. And be sure to check out...

And this is Carly's brother, Spencer.

Any words for our viewers before we sign off?

Never forget to buy candy on Halloween.

Hi, I'm William. And I'm Tommy.

We're twin brothers, but we're nothing alike.

We're gonna demonstrate a thing called sports stacking.

I'm the left hand. And I'm the right hand.

All right, let's go.

And there you have it, sports stacking.

We love you, Carly. We love you, Carly.

We love you, Sam. We love you, Sam.

And you, too, Freddie.