Original subtitles

Previously onYoung Sheldon...

Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper, and this is

Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College.

I firmly believe that I'm ready

for this next step in my academic life.

I guess our baby's going to college.

So I don't want to get married. It's nothing personal.

After everything that I've done for you and your family.

You give my grandson a job so I'm supposed to marry you?

Well, you can forget I even asked.

Oh, no.

I screwed up.

You're fired.

Here's for firing my grandson.

Jackass!

ADULT SHELDON: I never understood why kids didn't like

being sent to the principal's office.

I thought it was great.

Sheldon, you are a remarkable young man.

Thanks, and you're a remarkable old man.

Sheldon.

So you sure he's got all the credits he needs?

Yeah, between his courseworkand his AP tests,

he's met allof his academic requirements.

He even managed to get a good grade in P.E.

I earned extra credit snitching on kids

who were smoking behind the equipment shed.

I don't have to buy cigarettes for a year.

So he's really good to graduate?

He sure is. I got to tell ya,

usually when kids leave school after two years,

it's not for college.

It's for prison or pregnancy.

Well, between Georgie and Missy,we may hit the trifecta.

George!

Well, I'm not rooting for it.

It's just a thing that could happen.

One other bit of business.

Since you're graduating early,

and you'retop of the class,

that makes you our valedictorian.

Way to go, buddy!

I'm so proud of you, baby.

You seem surprised.

Well, it's quite an accomplishment.

Being top of the class in this school?

I don't think so.

We're really gonna miss you.

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

I imagine my leavingwill be hard for you.

Oh, yeah, being best friends

with a little kid reallyboosted my game with the ladies.

Makes sense.I'm a conversation starter.

Just think. You'll havethis table all to yourself.

Actually, I joined the jazz band.

Those guys have their own table in the cafeteria.

Oh.

They're pretty cool.

The drummer's even got a goatee.

Well, I'm glad I knew you before you became a heroin addict.

Where are my safety goggles?

I don't have no orange today.

No, I have a lab later.

Just use the room goggles like everyone else.

And risk eyebrow lice?

They don't just like head hair, Tam.

They must be in my locker.

Don't eat my fluffernutter!

I won't.

Mmm.

"Don't eat my fluffernutter."

Hello.

Thank you for seeing me.

You might not be so happy I did by the time we're done.

[sighs]

All right, let me start by saying

that I owe you an apology.

You can finishwith an apology, too.

I'm sorry we had a fight. I'm...

I'm really sorry I lost my temper,

and I'm very sorry that I took it out on Georgie.

That wasn't great.

But I want you to know that I'm trying to change.

'Cause that's what people do-- they change.

I mean it. You know, I'm tired of being a cranky old bastard.

It's tiring for everybody else, too.

Would you please?

Sorry. Go ahead.

[sighs]

I'm admitting I was wrong, and that's not something I do.

What do you want from me?

One more chance.

I don't know.

Oh, come on.

I went to three stores to find these purple flowers.

They are pretty.

They're not as pretty as you.

[laughing]: Oh, God.

[laughing]

Safety pins, safety scissors,

no safety goggles.

Did you happen to see a pair of safety goggles?

Sheldon, we're in the middle of a test.

Sorry.

I can't give you the answer,

but what you have is not even close.

Out!

[sobbing]

These things happen.

[sobbing]

My mother had me when she was young.

Sorry to interrupt. I can't find my safety goggles.

Well, they're not here.

I have to find them.

Nothing's more important than protection!

[sobbing loudly]

Dad, you need to take me home.

Why? What's the matter?

I don't have my safety goggles. Let's go.

Sheldon, I'm busy.

You're just watching TV.

I'm reviewing game tape.

So you know how it ends. I'll meet you at the car.

Sheldon, I'm notdriving you home.

I got practicein 20 minutes.

Then call Mom and tell her to bring them to me.

She's working, too.

But I need my goggles!

Then use the ones in class.

And I don't want to hearabout eyebrow lice.

The ones in class are too big for me.

What if they fall off and something happens to my eyes?

If I go blind, I'll need a Seeing Eye dog,

and I'm scared of dogs.

Hey!

Is this how you plan on actingwhen you get to college?

No.

Good, 'cause you're gonna need

to handle stuff like this on your own.

I can handle it.

I hope so.

ADULT SHELDON: I ended up using the class goggles that day

and did not get eyebrow lice.

But eight months later,

I did contract a mild case of pink eye.

Were the two events related? This scientist says yes.

Do you thinkI can make it from one end

of the college campusto the other

in under ten minutes, including a bathroom break?

I don't know. How important is the bathroom break?

Very. The class schedules are designed

for fully-grown bladders, and mine is child-sized.

Then don't put your classes so close together.

Well, it's either this or I movemy labs to Tuesday afternoons.

Is that bad?

Yes. That's when Professor Protonis on.

Well, we'll tape it, and you can watch it later.

But what if I have a lot of homework and can't get to it

until the next day and one of the kids

in my class spoils the episode for me?

Sheldon, has anyone ever spoiled Professor Protonfor you?

No.Has anyone even talked to you about Professor Proton?

Do you count?No.

Then no.

Thanks again for giving me another shot.

Oh, my pleasure.

And I gotsomething else for you.

[drawer opens]

[drawer closes]

Wow. Thank you, but why?

Well, I'm trying to get better at forgiving people.

Well, I'm glad to hear you say that,

'cause I'm the onewho egged your store last night.

That was you?

Well, me and Meemaw.

Oh.

It's okay.

I forgive you.

Cool. Thanks again for the money.

Mm, forgiving people sucks.

Bless us, Lord, for the foodwe are about to receive,

and bless the handsthat prepared it.

And thank you

for Georgie gettinghis job back. Amen.

ALL: Amen.

That was nice of Dale.

I know. He even forgave me for egging his store.

You went egging without me?

Georgie Cooper!

Dale already forgave me, and God has to.

You can't get mad.

Ha. Burn.

Oh. Hold on. Hold on.

Your chair, milady.

"Milady"?

Where did that come from?

I don't know.

My brain.[laughs]

Can I get y'all started with some drinks?

Yeah. Uh, margaritas?

Mm-hmm.Split a pitcher?

Mm, no, I think I'm okay.

More of a beer night?

No, not really.

I'm gonna take a little break.

I'll just stick with water.

Really?

Well, you know, I don't do my best thinking

after I've been drinking. [laughs]

[chuckles]

Should I not get one, then?

No, no, you go ahead.

I don't want it to get weird.

I can come back.

No, no. Hey, justbring her a margarita.

No, don't.I insist.

I don't want one.

Yeah, you do.

It's getting weird.

Maybe come back.

Missy, how would you and Sheldonlike a graduation party?

Why would Missy have a graduation party?

'Cause I'm graduating elementary school.

That counts?Of course it counts.

Yes, it's a big deal. She's going to a new school.

New friends, new teachers.

Same clothes 'cause we're poor.

[phone ringing]We're not poor.

So I can get new clothes?

We're not rich,either.

Do I really got to sitthrough two graduations?

Yes. It is a special day for your brother and your sister.

I'm giving the valedictorian speech.

And I'm singing "This Land Is Your Land"

with a bunch of other kids.

And we are proudof you both equally.

Guess what. The local news wants

to do story on Sheldon being valedictorian.

[chuckles] Isn't that great?

What?

Cheers.

How is it?

Good. Yours?

A little watery.

I want to tell you how much I appreciate you

giving Georgie his job back.

Well, I didn'tdo it just for you.

It wasthe right thing to do.

I even forgave himfor egging the store.

[gasps] He egged your store?

That rascal!

I know you did it, too.

Okay, I did.

You go to church,don't you?

Yeah, when I'm not hungover.

Well, maybe I'll go with you sometime.

Really? You?

Yeah, I was thinking a little religion might do me some good.

Well, good for you. [chuckles]

I was thinking it was a fajita night.

Your daughter runs a Bible study, doesn't she?

Uh-huh.

ADULT SHELDON: The next day, the local news showed up to interview me

and my family, which may sound impressive,

but this is the same local news that covered a potato chip

shaped like Texas.

So act natural. We're just having a chat.

I'm gonna ask y'all a few questions

about Sheldon's high school graduation.

I'm graduating, also.

Really? You're graduating from high school, too?

No, elementary school.

Oh.

My class is singing "This Land Is Your Land."

Want to hear it?

♪ This land is your land...

Hey, can I ask my girlfriendto the prom on TV?

It would blow her mind.

♪ To the New York Islands, from the... ♪

We're here with the Cooper family.

Mary, Georgeand 11-year-old Sheldon,

who's going to be MedfordHigh School's valedictorian.

Mom and Dad,you must be so proud.

Oh, very proud.

But we're proudof all of our children.

She has to say that.

I was a little worried about missing

Professor Proton, but I'm going to tape it

and watch it at night.

Once I'm in college,

can we push my bedtime to 8:30?

Let's talk bedtime whenwe're not on the news, honey.

I'm sure it'll work out since I have all summer

to recalibrate my bathroom schedule.

Let's not talkabout that, either.

So what's it like being theparents of such a special child?

Get it away! Get it away!

Fascinating.

[chicken clucking, Sheldon screaming]

Every day's a blessing.

Sheldon, tell us what you're gonna miss

the most about high school.

Nothing.

Really?

Not your teachers, your friends?

I only have one friend.

And I don't think he's gonna miss me because

he already found other people to have lunch with.

Oh, I'm surehe'll miss you.

And I said I'm okay with watching Professor Proton

at night, but that'll never work.

I get overtired-- everybody knows that!

Maybe we could turn the camera off.

And the other day, I couldn't find my safety goggles

and I freaked out in school, and my dad asked

is this how I plan on acting when I get to college,

and I said no,but it probably is

because even though I'm smart, I'm just a little boy!

I think we have enough.Cut.

Here you go, baby.

I don't know if I can go to college next year.

Are you kidding me?!

George.

Buddy, I know you're upset.

But are you kidding me?

Don't listen to him.

There is no pressure.

If you want to spend another year in high school,

that is your decision.

I don't know.

May I be excused?

Uh, of course.

We support you, buddy!

I get it.

What do you get?

Why you don't want to go to college.

I doubt that you do.

You're scared everything's gonna be different

and it'll be hard.

And you're gonna miss the way that it was.

How do you know that?

'Cause that's how I feel.

You're scared?

Yeah.

So what do we do?

I guess be scared and do it anyway.

Hmm.

It's comforting to know thatyou feel the same way that I do.

That's why I said it, dumbass.

[sighs]

Mom?

Dad?

MARY:Yeah, baby?

I'm ready to graduate.

Good night.

[door closes]

That's because I supported him.

[page turns]

[sighs]

[applause]

PETERSEN: Our next young speaker needs

no introduction, but that didn't stop him

from writing one and making me read it.

[laughter]

"Fun fact."

[audience groaning, murmuring]

I hear you.

"The word 'valedictorian' is from the Latin 'valedicere,'

"meaning 'to say farewell.'

"It is primarily used in the United States,

Canada, the Philippines and Armenia."

Maybe that fact's more fun in Armenia.

Please welcome your valedictorian, Sheldon Cooper.

Yay, Shelly!

Hello.

I'm not very comfortable speaking in front of crowds.

But there's a technique to reduce stage fright

by focusing on one person in the audience

and delivering your speech just to them.

That's what I'll be doing today.

If it weren't for this person, I wouldn't be here right now.

They've taught me a lot,

and it's by their examplethat I found the courage

to move forward into this newand exciting chapter of my life.

Missy...

...this is for you.

Change can be scary,

but I know we're going to be fine...

...because like you said,

"It's okay to be scared.

We just have to do it anyway."

So if any of my fellow graduatesare nervous about the future,

know that you're not alone.

I suggest you all try to be as brave as my twin sister.

That's my plan.

Missy,

I wish I could give you advice about middle school,

but I was so smart, I skipped it.

If you make it to high school, we'll talk.

Thank you.

[applause]

[kids singing]ADULT SHELDON: The following day,

I attended my sister's elementary school graduation.

She didn't deliver a speech to me,

but she did make eye contact

while she sang "This Land Is Your Land."

♪ From the Redwood Forest

♪ To the Gulf Stream waters

♪ This land was made for you and me... ♪

ADULT SHELDON: Later that day, we had

a graduation party for me and my sister.

I don't normally care for parties,

but this one wasn't so bad.

Who's ready for cake?

Me!

Hey, should we say grace?

Heck, yeah! Let's hold hands.

Oh, cool. Let's say grace.

ADULT SHELDON: Dale invited Jesus to the party,

and while he wasn't on my guest list, it was okay

because it made my mom happy.

And bless our friends and family...

ADULT SHELDON: In fact, it was the best graduation party

I had ever been to,

until the one we had for my son, Leonard Cooper.

ALL: Amen.Cake!

ADULT SHELDON: I wanted his name to be

Leonard "Nimoy" Cooper, but Amy wouldn't let me.

AMY: Be happy I let you name him Leonard!

ADULT SHELDON: Okay, okay!

AMY: Love you.ADULT SHELDON: Love you, too.

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