All language subtitles for Stumble.S01E09.1080p.x265-ELiTE_track3_[eng]

.

- As cheer coach of
Headltston Junior College,

I have been confronted by
many obstacles--injuries--

- Ah!
- Oh!

- --lack of funds--

[crashing, thudding]

--pigs.

[oinking]

But something
I was unprepared for

was an AI company coming in
and sucking up all the water

and power in that poor town.

[electricity cuts,
horns honking]

And I don't think
the details of how

they got there are important.

And I believe if you
peruse this booklet,

you'll see why
Headltston is the best

place for your AI data center.

- We're going to Headlt-stone.

- Yeah!
[cheering]

Maybe I had a little
something to do with it,

but honestly, in my defense,

I had no way of knowing that
AI companies kill small towns

by coming in and
taking all the power

and water for their servers.

- AI kills small towns.

They'll take away
our water and electricity.

- But now, there is
no cheer in Headltston,

which is like "The Year
Without a Santa Claus,"

which is such
an underrated movie.

You remember?

Santa didn't feel valued,

and he thinks people don't care
about Christmas anymore,

so he decides to sit one out.

God, it gets me so emotional.
Sorry. Um--

The point is,

this will end happily ever
after, just like in the movie.

And the kids are going--
- Hey, baby.

- Boon, pants.

- Oh, my bad.

Were y'all talking
"Year Without a Santa Claus"?

I love having Courteney
home this much.

I mean, I think
it's the first time

in as long as I can remember,

which is roughly 17 years,

that she's had a day off
from cheer.

It's taking a little
getting used to.

'Cause normally she's at work
with y'all during the day,

so I can kind of have the run
of the house

and Porky Pig it

whenever the mood feels right.

And if I'm being honest,

mood feels right a lot.

- Love you.
- [whispers] Sorry.

- ♪ OK, let's go ♪

♪ OK, let's go ♪
- ♪ OK, let's go ♪

- ♪ 5, 6, 7, 8 ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

- Headltston's been
without water or power

for two days now.

First, they shut down
what they called

the non-essential buildings,
like the police department--

- All right, well, good luck.

Ah! Mein buttons!

- --and the Candy Button
Factory, which, fun fact,

was shut down for the first
time in over two decades

for non-health code reasons.

And then they shut down the
school, so we can't practice.

Our team was finally
starting to click,

and AI had to come and take
a giant [bleep] on Headltston.

But they do have a hotline

that you can call
for general information.

So I'm just going
to call again

and see if there's
been any updates.

[line ringing]

- You have reached
the Headltston

General Information Hotline.

If you're calling about
a cattle inquiry, press one.

If you're a toddler who
just wants to hear a sound,

press any key.

If you're calling about
the citywide blackout,

we're working on the problem
and should be up

in one to two business days.

If you have information
about the Missing Six--

- [chuckles]
OK.

All right.

So I'll get my gym
and my team back

in as little as
one business day.

So I'm not worried.

I'm not.
[sighs]

- Hey, baby.
- Hey.

- Gosh, do I love seeing you
here when I get home.

- Oh.
- Just stopped by the school,

met the new lacrosse coach.
Mwah.

I can already tell she's
gonna be my nemesis.

They're giving out
these chocolate chip cookies

in the lounge.

There's one left.
I'm clearly going for it.

She snatches it out
from under me.

- Uh-huh.

- Then her brassiere
darn popped off,

and she asked me to help put it
back on, and as a thank you,

invited me to her house
tonight for dinner

with her model friends.

- What?

- Baby, you are not
listening to me.

- Boonie, I heard you.

The lacrosse coach took your
cookies, her bra popped off,

and you went home
with the models?

- Guess you're listening
a little bit.

- I'm sorry, I'm on
a text chain with the kids.

I'm sending them
little GIFs and memes,

keep their spirits up.

And I feel like angry babies
are always good.

- [chuckles]
Oh. Can you send me that?

- So right after they
shut down the school,

they sent all the kids home.

And I offered to
let them stay here

so we could
continue practicing,

but it turns out that
with all those bunk beds,

it would be a fire hazard.

I don't know how kennels
get away with it, and--

[phone dings]
Yes!

I got another
LMFAO from Steven.

[laughs]

I hope he's OK.

[phone ringing]
- I am crushing it.

[chuckles]
I was a little concerned

the rental place
wouldn't take me back.

[bleep] I quit.

But it turned out they thought
I was here the entire time.

[chuckling]
We look nothing alike!

But I did get a raise.

And, oh, oh, check this out--

finally, manager.

Yeah, me.

[laughs]

[sighs]
Yeah, things are good.

Things are good.

[line beeping]
- Damn.

Hotline's busy again.

- Baby,
it has only been two days.

- Two days for you.

But for cheerleaders,
that's like two weeks.

Cheerleaders are like cats.

I once read they shut down
the show "Cats" for two weeks,

and that's why it's terrible.

- Baby,
"Cats" is a perfect musical.

I'm not having this
conversation with you again.

- OK.
I'm sorry, Boon, for real.

[sighs]
- Coach,

you and I never get
this kind of time together.

Can we try
to take advantage of it?

'Cause I hate to say it,
but this just seems like

one of those things
you cannot control.

- [exhales]
- Yeah.

- OK.
- Get over here.

- All right.

I'm gonna try to control it
just one more time,

though, just to be sure.

Love you! Bye!
- Love you more!

- So the woman who runs
the AI data center,

her name is Jolene Tittle.

And that's her office,
way up there

at the top of the world's
smallest skyscraper.

Now, she used to cheer
at Texas Tech,

so I'ma talk to her
cheerleader to cheerleader,

and I'm gonna get her
to move her electricity

and soul-sucking company out
of here so I can get my gym

and my cheerleaders back.

I'm not gonna say
soul-sucking, though.

- Hey, doll.
How's cheer going?

- It's not.

We have no place to practice
since your soul-sucking company

turned this whole town
into a black hole.

Dang it.

- Oh, that's a shame.

But unfortunately,
there's nothing

that my company
can do about it.

- You know what?

I don't want to talk to
the executive part of you.

I want to talk to the
cheerleader inside you.

'Cause I guarantee
underneath that $100 blouse--

- Mm.
- Is it $200?

- Mm.
- $250?

- [clicks tongue]
- Dang.

Whatever you paid
for that gorgeous blouse,

underneath is a heart
that beats in eight count.

- I'm not
a cheerleader anymore.

I'm a grown-up CTO.

- I put you in my pyramid.
I saw what that meant to you.

- That is why
I came to this town.

So, um, maybe you
should blame yourself.

- I'm not the one
whose soul-sucking company

is killing the place.

Are you [bleep] kidding me?
Courteney!

Jolene,
I have less than 14 weeks

to get this team ready
for Daytona.

My kids cannot afford to
be missing any practices.

- [sighs]

Courteney, that is so sad.

- Yeah.

- Let me play you
the world's tiniest violin.

- Jolene, do not patronize me.

Oh, OK.
It's not a metaphor.

[violin playing somber melody]

♪ ♪

Dang it.
That was beautiful.

The strings always get me.

- This violin is
from Viennesburgh,

the tiny violin capital
of the US

and the first town
that my company took over.

This violin reminds me
never to get too emotional.

- You know what
I just realized, Jolene?

You're a mean girl.

And you're gonna regret that
'cause I have friends

in high places in this town.

- Nein.

I would have to call in
too many favors

to get the AI company
out of Headle-stein.

And ten,

no one asked me
to be in the talent show.

I have talent, too, you know.

- I said that.

I said, we got to get Augustus
Sslimpfh up on that stage.

He's got talent, too, you know.

- Thank you.
But it's too late.

- Augustus,
you are the only person

powerful enough to fix this.

- It would require me
to open too many channels

that would attract attention,

and my family
does not like attention.

- Really?

I took Sslimpfh Avenue
to Sslimpfh Road

to get to the Sslimpfh
Candy Button Factory Today.

- Well, how else
would you get here?

- The Candy Button Factory
is in jeopardy here, too.

- If the Blue Lung lawsuit
taught us anything,

it's to take a deep breath--
[hiccups]

And this too shall pass.

- Then I'm just gonna
find another way.

This will not be the end
of my cheer program.

- Wait!

Don't you want to know
about my talent first?

- Honestly, I don't care.

[pensive flute music playing]

♪ ♪

- [inhales sharply]

♪ ♪

- [rasps]

That's the most beautiful thing
I ever heard.

- Danke.

.

[percussive music]

- Oh, no, Boon.
- Hmm?

- I sent my cheerleaders
a routine to work on,

and nothing.

Crickets.
Nobody responded.

I mean, well,
Peaches sent a pic,

but it was definitely
not meant for this chat.

I'ma call Krystal.
I'ma see how her rehab's going.

Yeah.

- One of the things
I value most about myself

is I'm always there
for other people.

[phone buzzing]
Boop.

Since so many are suffering
in Headltoon,

I've decided to use my downtime
to focus on charity.

My latest venture is my

"Dive Into Unemployment"
brand of swimwear!

You may not be able to work,

but you will be working it
in these fabulous bikinis.

- Ooh, Coach, this is bad.

This is real bad.

Krystal just sent me to
voicemail, Sally left the chat,

and Madonna's phone's asleep.

- Well, I'll tell you what.

That Pilates is working.

- Do you think so?
- Mm-hmm.

Mm.
- I do feel--

Steven responded.
You can always count on him--

A thumbs up?

Baby, everybody knows
thumbs up means [bleep] you.

- No, it does not.
- Yes, it does.

- Oh, no, I just gave a thumbs
up to my mama's new haircut.

- We were just making such
good progress, Boonie.

But the longer they're away,
the harder it's gonna be

to get those cheerleaders
back on the mat.

And now they're all
scattered to the wind.

So it's just a matter of time
before they drop out of school,

huff poppers,
hitchhike to Burning Man.

- Whoa, whoa, can we rein it
in just a little bit?

Because even my
best quarterback

doesn't spiral this fast.
You know what?

Let's get you out
of this house.

Hey, you know how you're always
nagging me to get a new truck?

- I've literally
mentioned it once.

- Well, the nagging worked.

Let's go shopping
for a new truck for me.

Come on, it'll get
your mind off cheer.

- Oh, great idea.
I know just the place.

- Steven Vaughn,
please come to the front.

- You gotta be kidding me.
- [clears throat]

- Oh, hey, Coach.

- Did you get a promotion?

- Oh, yeah, manager.

[chuckles]
You know what's crazy?

The less I do here,
the more I make.

- Oh, so you have had time
to work on the routine?

- Hey, is that your ex?

- Absolutely not.
Sorry, baby. No.

- It's messy.

- We came here
to look at a new truck.

So is there some kind of
discount you can give us

'cause you thought
you dated my wife?

- Yeah, I mean, I could
definitely hook you up

with a used pickup truck
with only

about 500,000 miles on her.

Do you guys mind
severe damage in the rear?

- Nobody cares
about the truck, OK?

Why would we buy a truck
at a car rental place?

Let me see your back tuck.
- OK, time to go.

- Right now, Steven.
- Good to see you.

- You guys need to be working
on that routine, you hear?

And you best be
answering my texts, too,

and not with the thumbs up.

Hearts or nothing!

- Congrats on the promotion.

- Bullet dodged, man.

- I can't believe Steven
is thriving without cheer.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That ham's still good.

- [sniffs]
It has a smell.

- Good ham has good smell.
- It's gone.

- Baby, why is Steven
doing well causing you

to put your hands
on my lunch meat?

- You don't get it, Boon.
I'm losing him.

I'm losing my team.

How would you feel if you lost
what you loved the most?

- I just did.

- No, I mean, like, your
purpose, your passion in life.

- I seem to remember something
like that happening to me.

Oh! Oh, oh!

- I'm sorry, Boon.

Don't you ever wonder
what your life

would have been like if
that hadn't have happened?

- I have to believe that
that hit was a sign from God,

whom I did meet briefly,

that this is the exact life
I'm supposed to be living.

And as long as that little
piece of helmet in my brain

doesn't move
more than a millimeter,

I get to wake up next to the
love of my life every morning.

And that is a pretty darn
good life right there.

- Boonie, I love waking up
next to you, too.

You know that.
- Mm. Mwah.

- I do also love going to work
as a decorated

cheer coach on her way
to her 15th trophy.

- Honey, you are going
to be back with your team

before you know it,
and you will regret

not taking advantage
of the gift of this time.

- Scratch my back.

- How many extra hours
in the day

you got now that
there's no cheer?

- 22.

- All right, so there's got
to be something productive

you can do with that time
that does not involve

you throwing away
my lunch meat.

[percussive music]

- Hey, baby.

- Hey, uh, what's happening?

- Well, I watched Marie Kondo
'cause I'm trying to spark

some [bleep] joy in my life,
so I'm just going to throw out

all the stuff we don't use.

- This is all my stuff.
- But I don't use it.

- OK.

While you're busy
trying to erase

all existence of my life--
- Boonie.

- --I was having
a heck of a day.

Did you know that--

What happened?
Did I turn around?

Or did the couch turn around?

- I've just been using my
free time, like you suggested.

And I would love a den.

Do you think this wall
is load bearing?

[knocking on wall]

There's only one way
to find out.

Shoot!
I threw out the sledgehammer.

And you know
that brought me so much joy.

- Yeah, yeah.

Do you remember
during the pandemic,

you had all those
great ideas about, like,

learning how to bake or knit

or do something fun
with your nails?

- Yeah.
- Do you think maybe we could

try one of those less
destructive things?

♪ ♪

- Boon, my list is done!

Boonie.

- It grew on me.

It's like I'm not
supposed to see it,

which makes it feel
more intriguing.

Uh, Krystal's sister
left a box for you.

- Oh.

Oh, no.

The unemployment bikini.

She thinks I'm done.

Even worse, she's doing things
for other people now.

Boon, everything is changing.

- Should you try it on?

.

[percussive music]

- It's nice to see the people
I'm helping face to face.

There's something magical
about just giving back

and not advertising my brand.

It almost makes me cry out
my Krystal Smearless Mascara.

- Medium, please.
- I'm all out of your size,

but I think
I have more in the back.

[gasps]
My ankle doesn't hurt.

I'm walking.

I'm running!

I'm back!
[cheering]

I'm back!

- [giggles]

I found it!

- Baby, give me that hammer.

Baby, baby, give me that--
baby, no!

[hammer clunks]

OK, Thor.

Will you come here, please?
- I don't want to.

- Courteney, please come here.
- [sighs]

- Baby, I know that
this is hard for you,

but what is wrong with
a little quality time?

How's about you and I
sit here on this couch

and turn our heads backwards,

and we watch one of your
true crime murder docs?

I'm gonna sleep with
the lights on for a week.

- Boon, don't you
play dirty with me.

- Courteney's one weakness
is true crime.

- Yay.

- When I was in my coma,
she sat by my side

the whole time
watching her murders.

She actually solved
three cold cases.

Probably would have solved more
if I didn't wake up.

Pretty sure my neck
is stuck this way.

[percussive music]

I don't like to use the
word genius when talking

about myself,
but what else would you

call me getting Courteney
to watch true crime docs

to get her mind off cheer
and take a much needed

mental health break?
- Hey, Boonie, do we have milk?

- "Joan of Arcadia"!
[neck cracks]

Hey, Courteney.
- Yeah.

- Where are your pants?

- Oh.
[chuckles]

Sorry.

I have watched 17 straight
hours of true crime.

I think I'm depressed.

- Maybe it's 'cause
you watched

17 straight hours
of true crime.

- No, that couldn't be it.
That was the good part.

I thought I'd put cheer
in the kids' blood.

[chuckles]

But I lost them,

just like that
cruise ship lost that lady.

- I've seen Courteney
do a lot of things.

She nursed me back to health.

She built a deck in a day--
yesterday.

- I'm gonna go on back to bed.

- One thing I've never
seen her do is give up.

Courteney has always been
my biggest cheerleader.

I figure it's time
for me to be hers.

[indistinct TV chatter]

- Hey, baby.
I got a surprise for you.

- Baby, I can't right now.
I'm watching my murders.

- I really think
you're gonna like it.

- They just dragged
this lady out of a lake.

- All right, well, I'm about
to drag you off this bed.

Come here.
- No.

- We're going hobo
knapsack-style.

- I'm not wearing pants.

- Well, I got your workout
sweats in the truck.

Now, come here.
[grunts]

- Baby, baby, baby, wait!
- What?

What?
- My Candy Buttons.

- All right.
- [grunts]

- Got it.
- [groans]

- Thank you.

[soft music]

Boon, can I open my eyes yet?

- No, you may not,
but you can use your legs.

There we go.
All right.

And let's hold right here.

- [sniffs]

I smell possum urine
and black mold.

What are we doing in my gym?

- 5, 6, 7, 8!

Roll, Buttons, roll!
- Steven?

[Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know
What You Did in the Dark"]

- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

- Baby, this is the routine
I sent them.

How did you even get them here?

- It was easy.

Turns out they do have
cheer in their blood.

And you put it there.
- Aww.

- All I had to do was tell them
that you needed them.

- Come here, Boonie.

- ♪ Be careful making wishes
in the dark, dark ♪

♪ Can't be sure when they've
hit their mark, mark ♪

♪ And besides,
in the mean, meantime ♪

♪ I'm just dreaming
of tearing you apart ♪

♪ I just gotta
get you off the cage ♪

♪ I'm a young lover's rage ♪

♪ Gonna need
a spark to ignite ♪

♪ My songs know
what you did in the dark ♪

♪ So light 'em up, up, up ♪

- [chuckle]
- ♪ Light 'em up, up, up ♪

♪ Light 'em up, up, up ♪

♪ I'm on fire ♪

♪ So light 'em up, up, up ♪

♪ Light 'em up, up, up ♪

♪ Light 'em up, up, up ♪

♪ I'm on fire ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ In the dark, dark ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ In the dark, dark ♪

[cheers and applause]

- That's my Buttons!
Yeah!

- Did you like it?

- Oh, my God, Krystal,
I didn't know you were back.

- How did you know it was me?

- I just--I thought
I lost y'all.

- No, Coach.

Hey, hey, hey,
we are Buttons for life.

- [bleep] yeah.
- Buttons, baby!

- [sighs]
I'ma get us back, yeah?

I don't know how,
but I'm gonna do it.

Y'all, come here,
gather 'round me, OK?

Y'all, get a shot
of me and my Butt--

.

- So at the end of "The Year
Without a Santa Claus,"

Santa learns that people still
do have Christmas spirit.

So he packs up his sleigh,

and he delivers presents.

I don't know why
that gets me so much,

but my point is,

Santa's gonna make it
to Daytona this year,

and he's gonna
deliver presents.

[percussive music]

I'm Santa in this situation.

You're gonna get
the AI data center out of here

and get Headltston
up and running again.

- You're wasting your time.

- No, I think my husband can
tell you I do not waste time.

[suspenseful music]

I was just minding
my own business,

watching "Dateline,"
eating my Candy Buttons,

and I started
noticing a pattern.

- Please rise as we try to
remember the Missing Six.

- So I googled the Missing Six
and Augustus Sslimpfh.

Then I did some more research
using the new AI algorithm,

which, despite its electricity
and soul-sucking nature,

is actually so good.
- I know.

It's going to ruin us,
but in an efficient way.

- It is helpful.

I never thought I would--
anyway,

I think the people
of Headltston

are gonna find what
I discovered compelling.

♪ ♪

- You're bluffing.

- Am I?

Or does this thumb drive
directly link

the Candy Button Factory
to the Missing Six?

- [gasps]

[line trills]

Hans, it is Augustus.

Code Blue 42.

Now, she has a thumb drive.

- I was totally bluffing.

I just found this thumb drive
in Boon's office.

But if true crime has
taught me anything,

it's you don't let
a lack of evidence

get in the way
of an accusation.

The AI data center?
Out of business.

[car horns honking]

As for Jolene Tittle,
no idea,

but there are rumors.

- No, I did not harm Jolene.

How would I even do that?

Put her in the mixing vat,

slowly coat her in corn syrup,

send her down the conveyor
belt until she gathers

just the right amount
of sugar crystals,

then press her flat with
the big Button stamp,

package her up
in a wax paper strip,

and send her off
to rural Arkansas?

[giggles]

This is absurd.

I was able
to call in some favors

and have the business
shut down.

But no, she's not dead.

- I could not be happier to
get out of this [bleep] hole.

I haven't had a vegetable
in three weeks.

[mellow music]

- And we are officially back
on the road to Daytona.

Yes!

♪ ♪

- [gasps]
Look at these new mats.

"There's still a little
cheerleader in me.

Go kick ass in Daytona.
Jolene."

I mean, she has her flaws,
but don't we all?

♪ ♪

- [whistling]