Original subtitles

SHAW BROS LTD. A SHAW STUDIOS PRODUCTION

Good!

COSTUMES BY LAU KWAI-YAU MAKE-UP BY WU HSU-CHING

- Mr. Tuan, you organized a great show! - Very good show.

It was very good.

- Thank you. - Good night.

- Really good, a very good show. - Yes, thank you.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Hey, darling, the man's kung fu is good.

- Hmm. - And that female lead.

Ah, she's so good-looking!

Of course, that's why you're here and you come every night.

You must be in love.

Oh, darling, you promised me.

Sure, but you promised me something, too.

Ha-ha, of course.

You can have anything you want. You just have to ask, huh?

All I need is your help. Hey, listen!

Mr. Chen, Mr. Tuan's asked you to dinner.

- Thank you. Thank you. - Great show.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Sister? - Come in!

Sister, Mr. Tuan's asked us to dinner.

Just look at you! You're such a mess! Your make-up's running.

Listen, let's not accept it.

We must go.

This is our last night here and we ought to thank him for all of his support.

- Well, alright... - Hey!

- Remember, this time you don't get drunk. - Ha! Of course not!

- Here's to you again. - Right!

Listen, we're real grateful.

We've done real good business here, all because you arranged everything.

- We appreciate it. - A-ha, it's alright.

I mean, I've enjoyed watching your show,

and my wife here's absolutely crazy about the whole thing!

And you, you're very good.

One thing I like is to watch expert kung fu.

Well, that's very nice of him.

So, now then, let's drink to him.

Ah, right. Cheers.

Brother, don't get drunk.

- I'm alright. - Maybe, but we still have to pack.

Hey!

So, you're leaving us tomorrow? I'm really going to miss these performances.

It's too bad, I'm sure. Wine!

Sister, there's plenty of time.

- Mr. Chen? - Yeah?

They say stage shows are all a fake,

and on-stage kung fu is basically make-believe.

- I mean, it's all a sham. - What?

Brother!

Sister.

He said our kung fu's a sham, it's not real.

Well, he's wrong.

I'll prove it any time.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Lee Heng? - Sir.

Pick a couple of men and try him out.

Are you ready?

Hey, wait.

Mr. Chen, would you call that real kung fu?

- An old style, that's the reverse hands. - Sure.

Well, tell me, compared with yours, how's it rate?

- Hm? It doesn't. - Oh?

- Brother. - Sister, I can't let this chance go.

- Don't... - Don't? Please.

Listen, the waists are too stiff.

Ought to be supple.

Besides, you move too slow.

Stand here, huh?

Come on!

His elbow ought to be here.

He needs leverage. Understand?

- You agree, Mr. Tuan? - Hm.

Also, your rebound kick here.

Tut-tut-tut.

Watch.

It's his stance, it's too weak.

He needs practice.

- Isn't that right, Mr. Tuan? - Right.

- Hey, he needs some wine. - Sure.

Brother!

Hey, to drink some wine helps the discussion.

He's right there.

Well, since you seem to like my skill...

...I don't mind demonstrating for you.

Right, let's begin now.

Hold it.

Don't you move.

Easy now. Hup!

Hope I didn't frighten you.

Huh?

Still, by myself isn't much fun.

Oh, right. We'll fix that.

We'll provide two men for you.

And if two's not enough, we can give you ten men, if you like.

Ha-ha. Mr. Chen, would ten men be enough for you?

Well, I don't care.

Two or ten.

It's all the same.

Hm.

Brother!

- You... - Oh, I'm not drunk.

I'm just having some fun.

Ha-ha! Sure.

It's just fun, nothing more. Hey, come on now, then.

Hey, no good.

Use more waist strength.

Catch it.

That's my hand.

Ha. Too bad.

- Huh? - Who's your teacher?

Oh, good! Good!

Some wine! Mr. Chen needs a drink.

Mr. Chen, you drink well!

- Sister! - Brother!

No more wine. Let's go.

Hey, Miss Chen.

All this man talk, for a lady must be boring.

- Right, Mr. Chen? - Oh, brother.

- Hey, darling. - Yes?

Listen, take Miss Chen to your room and discuss women's things, eh?

Alright.

Listen, we must leave now.

Oh, you don't have to go just yet. You come with me.

- Brother, let's go. - Drunk? Am I drunk?

Of course you're not drunk.

Sister, these folks are very friendly.

And before I leave, I must see his kung fu.

Oh, brother, please listen to me.

Sister, I...

Come on now, Miss Chen. Let's leave the men here.

It's no interest to us.

- Let's go for a talk. Come. - Brother!

- Go on. - Sister!

- I'm alright. Go on. - Sure, come.

Mr. Chen, you demonstrate.

Please.

- Please. - Easy, it's just a game, right?

Good.

Your kung fu is very good.

You're too kind.

Well, now I'd better show you what my real kung fu is like. Watch.

No, better not use the fan.

It's unfair.

Oh, what?

- You... - Listen, where are you going?

Uh... Well...

Getting you some wine.

Hey, bring some wine!

Oh, yes. Bring some wine! I'll go and get some.

Ha-ha, Mr. Chen, very good. Very good.

Your kung fu is fantastic! Perfect!

You're fast and nimble. You look just like a monkey.

- What's that? - Er... You're great.

Right, let's drink.

- Listen. - Huh?

It's your waist.

- It's too stiff. - Oh?

But my waist... is supple!

Still, my kung fu calls for a very firm waist.

You see?

- Mr. Chen, here's to you. - Right.

Firm is good. So is soft.

You have to combine the two.

Drink.

Oh. That was close.

That's stealing the monkey's grapes!

Miss Tuan, it's getting late now.

I'm scared my brother will get drunk and make trouble.

- Oh, no, he won't. - Let's see.

Hey now, Miss Chen. Don't you worry.

I mean, my husband really likes him.

Even if he gets drunk, there's not going to be any problem.

Maybe, but still, whenever he gets drunk, always he gets into trouble.

Is that so?

Oh, I'll warn my husband of that and say not to give him more wine then.

- Oh, good. - Oh, Miss Chen.

I've made ginseng soup so I'll give him some.

- Hey, look after Miss Chen. - Right.

- I'll show you some more now, huh? - Oh, please.

Oh, great!

- Hey? Not finished. - There is more?

Here's the four move bop. Here, it comes.

Oh, wow!

Very hard, that.

Some more wine, yeah?

He's had too much.

Alright, it's your turn.

Huh?

Miss Chen, I'm very sorry, your brother is drunk.

He's running around like a crazy monkey. I don't know where he's gone.

I'm very sorry. He's too much. But where could he be?

Uh... Don't worry, I've got my men looking for him.

- Where's your wife? - Uh?

Oh, I was looking for your brother. Don't know where she is.

- Oh, dear. - I'll go look.

Uh... There is no need.

As soon as I've found your brother, I'll let you know.

- What's that? - It's true.

Huh!

- It can't be. - I saw it myself.

- My brother... - Quiet.

- Let's go see. - Right.

Mr. Chen!

Mr. Chen, you...

Now, look...

- What's this? - Brother!

Sister, I...

Oh, brother!

You... You tramp!

You've disgraced my family name. How could you?

It wasn't my fault.

I was making some ginseng soup and he broke into the room.

And then...

- I did nothing. Listen... - Quiet!

I thought you were an honorable man, but you are just a freaking drunk!

- Brother! - Get him!

Damn you! You're as guilty as hell! I've seen the proof.

Listen, my brother was drunk or he would never have done this.

- Sister, listen, I... - Brother.

Please don't say another word. It's bad enough.

Miss Chen, in these cases, the punishment is death by drowning.

My brother drank too much. Forgive him.

How can I forgive this?

- Listen, how can I make amends? - Drown him! Go on, drown him!

- Drown him! - Drown him, yeah.

Stop it!

Mr. Chen, we have our rules here.

- I've no choice. - Drown him!

Quiet!

Alright, I'll pay the price.

- Brother! - Forget me.

- Let me pay. - But how?

Listen, you spare him and I'll be your slave.

I'll be your concubine. Spare him.

- Sister! - Brother, I've made up my mind.

Listen, say yes.

- But how can I? - Say yes!

Well, alright - but I'll have to cripple his hands.

But why?

So that he never again will take a drink without thinking of what he did here.

No.

- Damn you! - Brother, please don't.

Agh!

Still!

He can jump and somersault!

One... two...

three... four...

five... six...

Hey, and now you've seen him do all of those somersaults.

I hope he's amused you with his tricks here.

Now, buy some candy. It's very good, huh?

Let's go buy candy!

Well, he's got plenty more tricks yet, so come on then.

Take some. Here we are. Come on.

Hey, come on, now.

Come on, buy some, buy some. Come on, man, buy some.

- Very cheap. - Hey, what about you?

- Come on, hey? - Hey, why not buy some?

Buy? You buy!

- Right. Hey, do you want some? - Have you got any money?

No.

Right, doesn't matter. Take some, huh?

Come on, pay up.

Have some candy on us.

Just take it, plenty for everyone. Get some candy, come on.

Come on.

- Hey, you haven't got much. - Well, I only just got started.

How about that you come back later?

- In that case... - Hey!

Listen, I've just started.

I've no money yet, so come later.

Hah! You ordering us? I'll show you!

Hey!

Here, let me help you.

Here.

Come on.

Hey, let's go. Come on.

- Hey, boss, here's mine. - Here's mine.

- Good. - We did quite well today.

- Where's the rest of it then? - Have some drinks, fellas. Go ahead.

- Sit down. Yeah, come on. - Waiter!

We ought to take this money in first, huh?

Let's get moving, come on.

The chief ought to be happy with us. We got quite a lot today, huh?

What the hell?

Pull me up!

Pull me! Pull me!

- Agh! - What's wrong?

What are you doing?

Agh!

Help!

Help!

Help me! Get me out!

Ooh, ooh! Ah!

Get that kid!

- Hey, watch out! - Where does that street performer live?

- Performer? - Yeah.

- Oh, on the boat there. - Thanks.

Mr. Chen?

- Mr. Chen, hi. - Hi.

Well, come to see the show?

There's no show tonight.

I know.

I brought some food and wine.

Here, it's good wine. Try it.

What you doing? It's good wine this here.

Get out.

I didn't know you don't drink.

Have some food.

Not your hands. They're filthy.

Use this.

Tell me, what's your name?

- Monkey. - Oh, Monkey?

Yeah, I don't know my real name.

- I'm just called Monkey, that's all. - Well, you do act like one!

- Sit. - Right.

Listen, sorry I was rude.

- But seeing wine... - Ah, you don't drink then?

Right.

Hey, the food's good.

Of course! I got it specially to give to you.

- Must have cost a lot. - Ah, so what?

- I got it from that collector, took it. - You stole it then?

Sure, I stole it. After all, if you're not strong, you have to steal.

This world is hard and cruel as well.

And nobody ever gets a chance here.

Hey, Mr. Chen, why don't you eat your food?

Right. Hey, and you too.

Listen, street performers, they always drink.

Why don't you?

Mr. Chen?

Oh.

Sorry.

It's the food - too rich.

I eat too fast.

Sit, sit.

Hey, go on.

- Mr. Chen, you have this piece. - Oh, thanks.

Did you hurt your hand, then?

Sort of. It was long ago.

- Monkey bite you? - No.

A rat, then?

Was it a snake?

A woman, maybe?

Aagh!

Mr. Chen! Mr. Chen! What's wrong?

Mr. Chen, are you having a fit?

No.

Ah, then you caught your monkey's habits!

Because monkeys, when they mate act like that.

- Mr. Chen, how was that? - That's very good.

Listen, I'm sorry. No offence?

Hey.

Hey, eat.

We did pretty well today.

Hm?

Hey, baldy.

This leaf here, it's so nice and cool.

You can use it as a fan. Wavy! Wavy! Wav...

Oh, also, you can use it as a hat,

cos it'll make your hair grow all nice and curly, it's really good.

There!

I think that it's about time you had a lesson!

How do you like that?

Oh, five. I got five.

Oh, none! That's...

Ha!

Oh, there's more!

Not more?

Agh!

Come on!

Bastard! He'd better watch out!

Monkey... got caught?

So what? It doesn't happen very often.

You'd better watch it or you'll get hurt.

Listen, I ain't got no food. I'm sorry.

It's alright, but if you keep stealing...

- ...you'll wind up dead. - Huh?

If I don't steal, I'll starve to death.

I don't starve, and I don't steal.

You're different. You've got a monkey show.

But I haven't, so I must steal.

At least you stole from the right people.

It's late. Get some sleep.

- Right. - Sleep with Amo.

Listen, that bird sings real well, you know.

- Yes, very well. - But mine? No way. Not a woof.

Boss, hi.

Monkey, what do you want?

Oh, nothing. Just that I've reformed now.

I thought that maybe you could take me on here, to work here.

Huh?

- You want a job here? - Yeah.

That's very nice, but what do you think you could do?

You've no training, huh?

I'd stop your customers from cheating, for starters.

No! No!

You paid nothing.

I'll pay you, I promise you. I promise you!

You're holding out on us, eh? I know your kind.

No...

Amo! Hey! Hey!

No! No!

No!

Damn you! You wanna fight, huh? Get him!

Hey, are you alright? Are you alright there?

What are you saying?

Who the hell do you think you are?

Hey, looks bad. Let's go.

Might get hurt.

- Go on, get outta here! - Alright, let's go. Come on!

- Are you alright there? - How are you?

- Waiter, the check! - Coming!

We'll pull the old gag.

It always works. We'll throw the bowls in the water.

Then the waiter won't know how many bowls we had then, you see?

Hey, friend, don't wash up here. The water's dirty.

It's all full of germs.

Damn it! You think you're so smart!

Ah, now, let's see what you've had here, huh?

Here you are, four more here from table three, accidentally dropped in.

Ah, including those, four dollars altogether.

Monkey, very good!

Of course!

♪ Ta-da... ♪

Listen, why isn't Chen here?

Oh, too bad! Those damn thugs, they came and killed his monkey for no reason.

They're vicious thugs, they really are.

Mr. Chen? Mr. Chen!

Mr. Chen?

Huh, well, got caught, huh?

Amo, you rest in heaven,

and the men who killed you, we'll get 'em!

Mr. Chen, don't grieve, no use.

Tomorrow, we'll get another.

Yeah, and if we can't, I'll play the part.

Monkey!

- Are you hurt? - No!

I got a pretty tough ass.

Mr. Chen, don't you worry now, I'll get revenge.

Monkey, do nothing stupid.

You provoke 'em and they'll kill you for sure.

Don't worry. I'll fight them, but not openly.

I mean, I do know a few tricks.

Don't try, you don't stand a chance.

Huh? Who says so?

I'll use a line to catch 'em.

Then I'll play 'em a little, like fish or crabs.

They're worms in a manure pit, hiding in their own dirt.

But once they come out, they can be handled.

- You're crazy. - Hey, listen, I got two dollars.

- Oh, you stole it? - Hey! Who said so?

- I earned it myself today. - Earned it?

That's what I said, by the sweat of my brow.

Ha! I'm glad to hear that.

- Come on, let's eat. - Alright.

Hey.

Right. We forgot to bury Amo.

Amo, you died before your time, but you've left this wicked world now.

So, may your soul rest in peace.

Mr. Chen, you want to say something?

Amo!

Mr. Chen!

Monkey, it's you.

Just for a minute... I thought it was Amo.

Well, you have to admit, I act like Amo.

- Hey, you... - I watched him, studied his actions.

Watch!

Amo's somersault.

Amo scratches.

Amo sits.

Also...

- Amo jumps. - It wouldn't work!

Wouldn't? Why not?

Because a monkey has hair.

Hair? Right!

Alright!

Now, then, folks.

This is no savage beast, nor is it a legendary animal!

- What do you think it is? - A monkey!

That's right, it is a monkey.

Played by a man, though.

You watch him, huh? He's good!

He can act just like a monkey.

He can also jump!

Alright, and he can play with a pole!

Also, he can sell candy!

- I want some candy! - Thank you!

Listen up! Who wants some candy?

Hey, that guy's doing real well.

He's new here!

Come on, get out of here!

Come on, get out of it! Get out of it! Right away! Come on, move!

- Hey, well now, you again, huh? - Hello.

- Doing real well! - Alright. Hey!

Damn you! You leave us alone!

So you're playing monkey now, huh? I must say, it really suits you.

Hey, we're just trying to make a living.

That so? Then pay us, huh?

- One dollar? - Huh!

Come on, there's two of you. You pay two dollars.

It's usually only one dollar for every pitch!

Listen, with you here, I charge more, do you hear?

Don't fight!

- Don't fight. - He's really good. Use the knives!

- Go on. - Alright.

- Alright, I'll pay. It's two dollars. - Mr. Chen...

Well, alright then. Pay us, and hurry!

Go on.

They're taking the money!

He's got none.

Alright, spill.

I see, so you've been holding out on us, huh?

Right, get it!

- Come on, come on. - Hey, give it back!

Hm.

Look, Monkey, I've been doing this for five years.

I'm used to it.

- Doesn't bother me. - But why should you pay bribes?

Now, look...

Some men have to pay bribes from birth.

When they study, they pay bribes.

And when they want a job, they still pay bribes.

Well, that's not right.

Agh! Those bastards!

We have to work hard just to pay them! No way! I'll get it back!

- Stay here. - Why?

If you mess with them, they'll take your hide off.

I don't care! I'm going!

Don't be so stupid, you wouldn't stand a chance.

- I'll try. - You'll stay here!

Oh, the real thing!

- Real what? - You can fight.

Says who?

- Those guys we fought today. - Nonsense.

It's not! In fact, I should have learnt. You could have been teaching me kung fu.

Instead, all I've learnt these weeks is monkey act.

Now, look, we have to make a living.

Maybe, but still, nobody beats me.

Now, listen, kid.

Stick to monkey tricks.

And live!

You got that?

I'm quitting.

Here you are.

- Here's mine. - We're finished now. Let's get back.

- Here's some more. - He paid in full.

Huh.

Alright. Come on. Get away.

- Come on. - Let's go.

- Just clear off! - Yes, sit down.

Sit down, sit down.

Oh, yes. I'm coming!

Hold it.

You've gone too far now.

I've had enough - and this is it.

- Oh, so it's you again then, huh? - What do you want?

- It's alright... - Listen!

From now on, you can call me, not Monkey, but Monkey King.

Alright? You got that, then?

No, I haven't.

- Do you? - Don't think I heard him right there.

I think he's gone nuts.

- Monkey, don't make trouble! - Now, look.

Until we're rid of them, this place will have no peace.

Hold it!

I'm not dealing with you. Fetch your boss here.

- Do you mean Mr. Chai, then? - That's right.

I think you're in for a real hard time.

Ha-ha-ha. That's crossroads.

Four-horse gallop.

A timely stop. A middle hit.

Ow! Ow!

Encircled style. I must break out.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

We'll kill him!

The monkey raises hell!

Hold it! It's me, hold it!

Monkey, please stop it.

You'll get hurt.

Make it stop, monkey!

Stop it, do you hear me?

Stop, Monkey!

A-choo!

Holy crap, they'll kill him!

You have to stop it!

Now, please, sir, don't hit him or you'll kill him.

He's just a bit simple and soft in the head, but he doesn't mean any harm.

Please, sir, please. Take these, alright?

Well, alright, just this once.

Goddamn them! I'll show them!

Monkey, you'll live.

I don't want to! I'd rather die fighting.

It's easier! I'll go back.

I never taught you.

I was afraid... you'd get killed.

I don't care if I die.

This life is not worth living.

- Learning kung fu is tough! - So what?

- I thought that you'd give up. - I'd sooner die first.

- You know the first rule? - Bow to you, master.

- This is no place to learn. - Where, then?

The mountains.

Ow!

Ten fingers.

All must be strong.

Because monkey boxing needs strength, needs strong fingers and wrists.

Agh!

Come on.

- Agh. - Again.

Teacher, turn me loose.

It hurts. I can't move.

You can still hold things.

You'll soon learn, you'll see.

Well, come on, then. What's the problem?

- I can't move now. - You'll learn.

From now on, you'll stay like that till I say otherwise.

How come, teacher?

They mustn't touch the ground. Lift both hands.

Turn around.

Agh!

Now, jump like a monkey.

- Jump! - Right.

Teacher, potatoes.

- Put them down. - Right.

Sit down.

- Use your hands. - Oh.

Agh!

A monkey must be fast.

But I'm tied up.

I can hardly move.

- You know that. - Then go hungry.

Huh?

Well...

- Again? - Right.

Hey, monkey. This chicken here, it ought to taste good.

- Sure. - Want to try some?

- No, thanks. - Hm? Not hungry?

Sure, but I'm just too slow, so I'll eat potato.

Ha. You're very humble tonight.

I have to be, though.

Usually, I can only grab two of them.

But one day, I'll get more.

Well, try.

Huh?

Teacher, you're right! Tastes great.

You have to move fast in this world.

- You're fast. - You're smart.

Teacher, these ropes, are they for clothes?

Not for clothes. For you.

Huh? For me?

Well, what are they for?

Your hands are fast. You're learning well.

But your arms are too weak.

Maybe.

What's that to do with ropes?

Well, the monkey's arms are strong because he's always swinging from trees.

Sure, sure.

So, as from tonight, sleep on the ropes.

Huh? Sleep on the ropes?

- Right. - I might fall off, though.

Come on.

Right, you hold on, and you won't fall.

So, get up.

You'll soon get used to it.

- Go on. - Well, alright.

Ah! Oh!

Ah.

Come on.

- Why did you let go? - You tickled my arm!

That's why, I had to!

And what happens when a monkey's tickled by a branch?

- Does he fall? - No.

Get up.

Go on, keep going.

Go on.

He-he-he!

Fingers

and wrists

and arms - all getting stronger.

Teacher, well, how am I doing?

I'll tell you this, you've lots to learn.

What?

Lots to learn? There can't be.

Teacher? Well? Huh?

That's not too good.

Course not! What do you expect when you push me?

You're supposed to fall like a monkey.

- Well, how's that? - A monkey somersaults, and that's how.

- Oh. - Go on.

Teacher, how am I doing now?

- I reckon I'm doing well, huh? - Do you?

Well, I've mastered fingers, wrists, and arms and waist, somersaults,

swinging from trees.

- Just about everything, don't you think? - No, I don't.

What?

Don't believe me? Come and fight me.

Teacher, fighting with you is pointless.

That's not what I want.

You want to fight those guys down in the town?

Sure.

- And so you mean, then, you'll go now? - That's what I want.

- When do you want to go? - Go tonight.

I mean, sooner I go, better for the town.

I'll go at sundown.

Ha. Alright.

- Monkey? - Teacher, please instruct me.

Monkey, if you insist on going down, then I won't stop you.

But remember, in this world there's tough men.

- Go on. - Teacher, I bow to you three times.

Once.

Twice.

Three times. Teacher, now please take care.

Wait.

Teacher, changed your mind?

I don't have much, but here's a little gift for you.

Huh? Teacher, just an old hat?

Now, don't belittle it.

Just wear it. You'll get to like it.

That's good. Thanks, teacher.

Did you see that man?

Here's mine.

Come on, give me that! Now, push off.

Huh! Kuo-Chiang, there's that bastard we didn't kill.

Now it seems he's teaching kids.

- You're all bastards! - Bastards!

He's even taught them to curse us.

You not scared to die?

I wouldn't mind, but still, the devil wouldn't want to take me.

Well, in that case, we'll help you.

Hold it. Why are you pushing them in front?

I mean, can't you fight yourself?

- Of course, but still, that's their job. - Hm, right.

- Enough talk. Go on. - Hey, wait!

Let's keep it fair. Fight one-to-one, you agree?

- Unless you're too scared. - Right.

- Fight. - Hey, now wait.

Not in front of the kids. Go on, home you go.

Hey, he's good.

Now, now, that was simple. Two this time, OK?

Which side, sir? This side or this side?

I'll go this side.

Now I'll go this side.

Here, here.

Here's something for you. Very nice, good for you.

God! Sour!

Agh!

Ha! Two down!

- The odds seem good. - We'll fix him.

Now, that's better. Three now.

- Red! Green! - White.

Fight!

Wow! You're really tough! Well, all the better.

Hold it. That's no good at all. You're going too slow.

Time waster! Now I'll start in earnest.

- Finger strength. - Agh!

Now.

- Hey, isn't it your turn, then? - Huh?

Hey, it's our turn.

- Who goes first? - Why, you!

Me? But I got the money. You go.

- Not me! - Hey, either one will do.

Hey, that's old-fashioned. No one wants to see that.

There, you see? Now, isn't that better, huh? What about that?

That's my hat!

Hey, that's my pipe!

My God! A bad cough!

It's me!

- Hey. - No, now! Let me down! Let me down!

Ow!

Ow!

A kung fu man shouldn't smoke.

Ow!

I need a saddle here!

Somersault!

This is yours!

Hey, does that taste good?

My hat! My hat!

Let me go!

Is that the snake, then?

That's right, the snake!

Monkey soar!

Agh! You're breaking my arm!

Tell me, how much did you collect today?

- Him? - It wasn't me!

I don't care. Give it all back!

- All? - Give it all back! Give it them back!

- Give it back! - Hey, now...

Take me to your boss, Mr. Chai.

We can't, no.

Aaagh!

Come on.

- Bye, bye! See you again. - Bye, bye.

Bye, you're very welcome.

Bye, bye.

Bye!

Hey! Why are you all standing there?

Get to work! You're being paid, go on!

Go on, go! Go on!

Master, in these few days, business is good.

Hm.

Not bad.

Of course, master.

Since I've been running the place this year, we're doing very well,

making nice fat profits, eh?

Ah, come on! You know it's not that.

I mean, we have to thank all these ladies here.

Ah, yes of course, yes of course.

Hm! You have to be joking!

These two like making jokes.

Alright, I've got a nice dinner ordered for us downstairs.

- Let's go down, eh? - Good.

Please!

Agh!

- Pull him down! - Kill him! Kill him!

Agh!

- Who's he? - Er... Well, now...

Listen, your men have been squeezing the traders.

If they don't pay, your men beat them.

That's why I'm here, to settle a few accounts with you.

Hm! Damn you!

Hey, wait.

This guy seems quite sharp. Who is he?

- He's just some... - I'll tell you.

I'm the Monkey King, that's who.

- Is that your style? - He's just a bum.

Acts like a monkey. He just used to be a cheap thief.

And then... And then... some stranger taught him how to do these monkey tricks.

Well, in that case, then, he ought to be no problem.

Think so? Well, I mean business!

Oh?

Chai.

You fix him up and we'll watch, huh?

Right, won't take very long.

Hey, accidents cost lives!

Oh, I won't jump, then.

Come on!

Hey, I'm over here!

Thank you.

Thank you.

You still smell.

Hold it.

- Seems your plaster's moved. - Oh?

No, down there. See?

Right.

Yeah, that looks better, yeah.

Better.

Damn kid!

- Hey, he's there! - I'm over here.

Hey, Chai, just watch this.

Oh, oh, aagh!

Agh! Oh!

Hey, don't go!

Come on!

- Leading the ox, eh? - Help me!

It's me!

Turn around!

Good, good.

You aren't bad. Stand back.

- Agh! - You fight quite well.

Well, Chai, you say you're an expert.

That style that I'm using, is it real monkey?

Your style looks like monkey, but it's not.

What?

- Who's he? - Well, he's my boss.

- You're not the boss? - I'm number two.

Oh, so he's the boss?

Well, Chai, you were playing the boss.

While you were gone, I sort of took over.

Well, now, seems you don't know this style.

- It's the real thing. - Oh, monkey.

I know that. Tell me, who is your teacher?

A-ha! That's my secret.

I'm sorry, won't tell you.

Sure, sure.

It's time to eat. Serve the food. Chai, let's eat.

Sure. You can eat right away.

Dinner? Hey, do you know what my favorite food is?

I know.

A man's two fists.

You do know monkey.

This'll be tough.

- Sister, let's go down. - Alright.

You know what? The boss's kung fu has got even better.

Listen, his fighting style reminds me of someone else.

My brother? No way.

Chai, fetch some wine and some food here.

I intend to lay on a special dish.

Alright, right away. Hey, come on, come on.

Hey, no need.

I'm too full and I'm not hungry.

You're not? Well, I am.

Wait, wait. Get back.

Because I'm going to serve a very rare dish.

I can't sit first. That isn't right.

Aagh!

Master, I know, it's like monkey brain.

- Get ready. - Right.

Quick.

Yeah, it's not nice now, is it?

Think not?

It's a good winter dish, though. Sit down!

Right, then. Come on, let's sit down. Come on, then.

That's it. Sit, sit. Very good. Here we go.

Now, then...

you have made a lot of trouble.

Tell me, who's your teacher?

What's his name?

I may have lost, but I won't talk.

I won't disgrace my teacher. I'd sooner die first.

Huh! You bastard!

Clean the head. It has to be sterilized.

Now, then, a little alcohol.

Next thing is to shave the hair off.

Then smash the skull, alright?

Who's your teacher?

- Talk! - Shan't.

- Right, Chai. - Yes.

Now, as slowly as you can, smash his skull.

Goddamn you!

Look at that!

Help me!

Get him! After him!

Goddamn you, clumsy fool!

I forgot the teacher's hat.

I'm certain that fella is Chen's pupil.

You? You're useless! You lost him.

Huh? I did?

Now, listen, it's your fault. You helped him.

Oh, yeah? You know that was just an accident?

- You like monkey boxers, you remember? - What's that? You set Chen up that time.

You know that!

Oh, so you're blaming me now?

- I paid you a good price that time. - Huh, right.

I admit that you gave me this brothel,

but still, you promised me, when you were through

you would let me have the girl to work for me in the brothel here.

But still, you've not let me have her yet. Well, have you?

- Why are you here? - I had to get my teacher's hat back.

- Who's your teacher? - Name's Chen.

- That's my brother! - Huh?

- You sure of that? - Oh, sure.

I heard them talking then. Some years back, they framed my brother with a trick.

To save his life, I gave myself to Tuan.

Come here, Tuan...

You!

You bitch!

So, then, it was you who did it, helped him escape.

And now, you'd fight me?

You lousy swine! Now I know how you tricked me that time.

I'll kill you.

That's good!

Agh!

- Get out! - I won't!

Madam!

Please stop fighting! Stop fighting!

- Stop them! Please stop them. - But she's helping that monkey fella.

Huh? Go on!

Quick! Now go!

Get him!

I'll get him!

Don't get away!

After him!

Get him! Come on!

Over there! Come on. Quick, come on!

- Get him! Quick, that's him! - After him!

There he goes!

Hey, Monkey?

Teacher.

Couldn't stay away, huh? You miss me, huh?

Sure.

Teacher...

I...

Ha. Well, when you left, you were full of bounce then.

You're not now. So, what happened?

Well... Ooh!

- Headache? - No.

- Hat too tight? - No.

- Then maybe you were hit on the head. - Yes, teacher.

Ha. And how come you let that happen?

After all, you fight so well.

Well, I did. I did great at first.

I used finger and wrist and arm.

First of all, I beat up our Chai and his gang of thugs, too.

Really smashed them! But then the big boss came in.

He said I couldn't fight, I got mad and I went for him.

Used everything. Somersault.

- No good. - So he beat you?

Yeah.

Ha, well, that's a crummy bandage. Why didn't you use my hat to cover it?

Your hat? Teacher, I met your sister.

- My sister? - Sure, tonight.

- Where? - In a brothel.

- You couldn't have! - Teacher, she doesn't work there.

She's the boss's girl.

- Is his name Tuan? - That's the bastard.

Hey, teacher, she said...

- Said what? - Tuan framed you for something once.

Goddamn it!

Sure, she helped me, helped me fight that swine.

Still couldn't match him.

- Teacher, where you going? - To find her.

- You mustn't. - Why not?

That guy Tuan is clever. Besides that...

- My hands. Damn him! - Don't you worry.

Since your sister's his concubine, I think he's not going to hurt her.

Besides, it's no good. You can't use your monkey style.

You wouldn't have a chance there.

- Now look, you know that your kung fu... - It's no good.

- What then? - More practice.

The next thing you must master will be the four moves.

Right.

Again.

Teacher!

Teacher.

- Yellow. - Yes, you go with her.

You know what, girlie?

- You're a pretty girl, you really are. - Ah, naughty boy!

Mister, any special girl?

- Yeah. - Who?

- Your ma. - My ma?

Ah, please.

We have Sou-yin, Sou-wen, Sou-chu, Sou-wong, Sou-chai...

Sou-chou's a very pretty girl as well. A bit fat, but a lot of fellas like that.

Don't be shy. Choose.

- I want you. - Want me? Oh.

I see, you're a pervert, eh?

Ow!

Now, don't get mad.

- You want a man, eh? - Of course. All the men here.

Huh?

- You want them all? - That's right.

- And your boss. - Well!

Well, my boss, he isn't like that. Besides, you wouldn't like him.

But still, if that's just what you want, then don't you worry.

I'm quite sure that we can satisfy you here.

You.

Yes, sir?

Oh?

One's not enough. Bring me some more.

- Go on, fix him up, huh? - We will...

- You finished there? - I told you, I want them all.

I'll get two more!

Huh?

Yeah?

- Go on, then, huh? - OK.

What's wrong?

Don't you fellas have any stamina?

I thought you were supposed to be strong!

- Hey, you're something else. - Of course I am.

Four more men!

- Coming. What is it? - This fella likes men.

Fix him up, eh?

- Hey, it's all business, all money. - Sure, yeah.

Hey, what are you fellas doing there? What's wrong with you?

Eh?

Hey.

Hey, don't I know you?

What are you pulling here, huh?

Oh? Hey!

What does this say?

- Monkey! - Wha...?

Monkey!

Get the ropes and the nets and the poles.

Come on! Quick, get some men! We'll need some more men.

Where's my bodyguards? Where are they?

Bring all you want, but clear the place first.

Those not involved, you'd better get out or you'll get hurt.

Go on.

Hey, don't go! Don't go!

Please, don't go! Don't go! Stop, stop, stop!

Wait!

- You drove them all out, damn you! - Mr. Chai, I'm helping you to reform.

Because we fighting men, we must...

We must, um...?

We must clean the town up, starting here.

Then we move on to the rest of the town.

As from today...

there won't be any more brothels.

You got that?

That's it.

Hey, who sent you?

MY TEACHER

- "My teacher"? - That's right.

And so your teacher sent you to preach here, eh?

Everything ready?

Well, then, is everybody here now?

All here.

Well, now, in any fighting, the line-up's important.

Is that so? Is that a fact, eh? Well, you'll soon see.

Get him!

Are you testing me out?

Ow.

How long you been learning?

Five months?

No way, I'd say three months at most.

I've got him.

Kill him. Use swords.

Hey you! Kill him!

Hold it there.

Now, wait. Chai, where is he, then?

We've got him. He's in there.

Hey, go on, get back.

Where is he? Hey, come on, where is he?

He's in there somewhere. Where is he then? Where is he?

It's me!

Well, the star himself is here.

Ha-ha-ha! Well!

I must admit, your skill has much improved.

Oh, yeah... Monkey stays monkey.

Well, then, I knew that you'd come back here again once you'd improved.

Right.

- Now I'm here, I have three objectives. - Hm?

One, to remove the local evil.

- Two, avenge my teacher. - Oh?

Three, I'm going to take away that girl, Choi-hing.

Choi-hing?

She was badly wounded.

Afraid that she's dead.

Monkey, even if you were the Monkey King, you couldn't escape.

Take his head.

Well, get him, then.

You got him! You got him!

Your teacher, he couldn't beat me, either. Nor can you.

It's not the end of the story. My teacher will come and help me.

Take him out! Don't mess up the floor!

Right, come on!

Teacher's here.

Teacher!

Ah, Mr. Chen. Well, now, how have you been?

Fine.

Madam.

Mr. Chen, even though your hands have been crippled,

your young student is quite brilliant.

Enough talk. Where's my sister?

Teacher, they've killed her.

Wait.

Don't be scared, his hands are crippled.

Teacher, why weren't you earlier?

- I'd be in the net, too, if I were. - Alright.

Hold it!

Huh! Good as ever.

Ha! Don't forget... that your hands are crippled.

But I'm not!

Well, come on!

Go on! Go on!

Let's go, let's go.

Get away! Get away!

My hand! My hand!

Hey, let's go, eh? Let's get outta here!

Well, now.

Hey, have I improved much?

He's got worse!

Well, now, the moral of the story is

all martial artists should always be upright

and avoid the lust of the flesh,

and practice more, to keep healthy.

Got that?

It hurts?

Well, that's just what you deserve.

An eye for an eye. Teacher, is that right?

Now, then, I'll avenge the girl!

Monkey!

- Oh, God! - No! No!