Original subtitles

[intense music]

click click

[chains clanking]

What are you? The world's greatest escape artist?

Or the world's greatest idiot?

For cryin' out loud, Scott

not even you can get out of this trap.

That's what I like about you, Oberon.

Your incurable optimism.

Stop distracting him and get the canister.

I hate to admit this, but Oberon has a point.

Don't worry, darling.

They don't call me Mr. Miracle for nothing.

First rule of show business

never believe your own publicity.

Craziest stunt you ever pulled.

That's why we're rehearsing it.

Kid's got an answer for everything.

hiss

[intense music]

Let's hope the train's running late today.

[train horn blowing]

[helicopter whirring]

Leave it to Scott Free to find the newest wrinkles.

He's sure given me a few.

snap

[intense music]

boom

Scott? Scott!

[grunts]

(Scott) "'0 ye of little faith."'

Scott, I thought you were dead.

You insufferable showboat.

I thought you were dead.

When are you and Oberon gonna learn that..

Hey, where is Oberon?

(female #1) Don't worry, dumpling,.

He's safe and sound

in Granny's loving care.

Of course, if you ever want to see the old runt alive again

you'll do exactly as Granny says.

[theme music]

[music continues]

Granny Goodness.

I'll kill you, you demented old gargoyle!

Barda, I'm not gonna let your temper

cost us Oberon's life.

I knew you wouldn't let her hurt your old granny, Scott.

What do you want?

Life on Apokolips has become very difficult

since great Darkseid vanished.

Dear Granny has tried her best to bring order to our world.

You mean, you've been trying to take over.

But there are others who seek to thwart Granny's good intentions.

Virman Vundabar.

That awful, awful man.

You know that he's actually imprisoned Darkseid's son

poor dimwitted Kalibak

in hopes of legitimizing his claim to the throne?

Why, he's probably

brainwashing the poor creature right now.

Bending him to his will.

Like you're not planning the same thing.

What do you want?

Oh, it's nothing, really.

Granny just needs you to break into the place

where Kalibak is being held

and then bring him to Granny's orphanage

where he can get...proper care.

If we do that, we'll be handing you control of Apokolips.

Exactly.

But if you find that prospect distasteful

wait till you see what Oberon looks like

when I send him back to you.

Piece by piece.

Where is Kalibak?

On Apokolips, of course.

In the X-Pit.

[intense music]

Why, you're not afraid

of the Pit, are you, Scott?

[intense music]

[panting]

[panting continues]

No, I'm not afraid.

(Flash) 'Can it hurt them to show me just a little respect?‘

Tell me about it. I've been at this longer than you have.

They still treat me like comic relief.

Better than being treated like a teenage sidekick.

I mean, I was one of the original seven.

Tell me the truth, Ralph.

Do I seem immature to you?

Not in the least.

Ah! I hopped your block off!

That-that's not fair. The green guy's arms are longer.

Are not.

Hey, isn't that Mr. Miracle

and what's her name, Big Bertha?

I didn't even know they were in the League.

But there's so many of us now, it's hard to..

No, they're not in the League. I'm sure of it.

And this Granny Goodness picked you because..

I'm the only one who ever escaped the X-Pit.

- Yeah, but what's-- - Please, Flash.

And if you refuse her request?

- Oberon dies. - Down, dear.

Well, I'd be happy to--

Superfast, invulnerable help.

Superman's on a mission in deep space.

But even if he weren't

it makes no sense for the League

to help another dictator

come to power on Apokolips.

A dictator who could eventually threaten Earth

just as Darkseid did.

Better to let them fight among themselves

than attack the rest of the universe.

Why, you green-skinned, beetle-browed

arrogant, son of a--

What Barda means is

what about Oberon?

He's been like a second father to me.

I'm truly sorry.

[Barda grunts]

I thought we were all about helping people.

And would you have us help three people

at the expense of billions more?

Well, no, but--

You need to look at

the big picture, Wally.

Well, excuse me for opening my big, dumb mouth.

We don't need these cowards.

We can do it on our own.

Great news, Bertha, you don't have to.

- Ugh! - Barda.

Isn't that what I said?

And we don't require your assistance.

We appreciate the offer, Flash, but--

Unless you've got an S on your chest, you're useless.

Hey, I may not be as strong as Superman

but I'm just as fast.

- Maybe faster. - Uh!

Ffiends?

Maybe we can use you.

[man screaming]

[people groaning]

(Virman) 'Kalibak, Kalibak, Kalibak.‘

I have used every vile punishment

every known torture

and still you refuse to join

Virman Vundabar's noble cause.

You're about as noble as my armpit.

Very well. You've forced me to my last resort.

[intense music]

Cake!

Mmm.

[spits]

splat

Oh, did I say that was my last resort?

My mistake. I have one more.

click

[screaming]

Enjoying Granny's hospitality?

Oh, blow it out your shorts, you goose-stepping harpy.

I would speak to Granny with just a tad more respect.

Because soon I will be ruler of all Apokolips.

You always been this deluded

or is it just since senility set in?

Oh, you wound Granny.

But not as deeply as Granny is going to wound you.

zing zing zing

[grunts]

zing zing zing

boom

zap

boom

Should've brought my sunscreen.

zap

Over there.

That's where the X-Pit is housed

and Kalibak with it.

Not that I mind the exercise

but couldn't your boob tube

have transported us any closer?

It's boom tube.

Don't you think we would have come in closer

if we could have?

Vundabar's technology disrupts

the time/space field of the tubes.

Otherwise, we would have just boomed Kalibak

out of the pit, right?

on. Right.

[snarling]

[snarling]

Why do I get the feeling those puppies

haven't had their shots?

swoosh

[grunting]

[grunting]

[zapping]

[grunting]

[growling]

[Barda grunts]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[explosion]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[instrumental music]

Not bad.

She always this free with the compliments?

Come on.

So, do we just knock, or..

thud

[intense music]

lt's...it's all different.

[ticking]

Why, Scott, why?

All of the others obey Granny

love Granny.

But you, you just keep trying to escape.

sizzle

And l'll...never stop.

[whiplash]

[Scott screams]

- Scott? - Change of plans.

You two stay put out here.

I'll go in and get Kalibak.

No way. I'm coming too.

- We both are. - Listen to me.

They've changed the whole architecture of this place

since the last time I was here.

All my plans are out the window.

Who needs plans?

I've always been a spontaneous kind of guy.

Neither of you signed on for this.

Actually, I did... the day I married you.

Well, I'm not that committed

but I'm with you.

Alright, then, into the Pit.

[intense music]

Ah, this should be a magnificent show

even if I already know the ending. Ha ha ha.

[music continues]

[fire crackling]

(Flash) So, you two grew up around here?

This cesspool of a world was all I knew.

I was one of Granny's blind and brainwashed puppets

until Scott cut my strings.

[door sliding open]

[intense music]

zap

[clanging]

Robots.

I love smashing robots!

No, you've got something more important to do.

Search this prison and find Kalibak.

Will you two be a|..

Okay.

swish swish swish

[whooshing]

[hammering]

calng clang clang

Come on, ugly, move that hairy butt.

It's humiliating to be rescued by your enemy.

(Scott) 'As humiliating as being Virman Vundabar's pet?‘

Well, if it isn't my treacherous stepbrother.

And his cow.

Arrogant worm. How dare you--

Knock it off! What are you guys, 12?

I can't believe I'm the mature one here.

He's right. We've got bigger problems.

(Virman on screen) Indeed you do, fools. Much bigger.

And, oh, ha ha, how I will delight in watching you fail.

zap

Very interesting... but futile.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

At least for the moment.

[intense music]

[panting]

[grunting]

Again and again you try, Scott.

And again and again Granny stops you.

Give up.

Give in to hate and hopelessness.

Give in to Granny.

I'd rather die.

If that's your preference.

[intense music]

Go!

[grunting]

Come on, Scott.

[grunting]

[music continues]

Scott! Scott!

(Virman on speaker) 'Enjoying your bath, Mr. Miracle?‘

'Here at Casa de Vundabar, we provide everything'

'including your very last breath.‘

[inhales deeply]

[intense music]

[panting]

[grunts]

[electricity crackling]

Uh-h-h.

You think you're so special, Scott.

That you're different from

Granny's other children. But you're not.

If anything, you're just a little...slower.

You see, they learned years ago

that their lives are meaningless.

That hope is a lie.

And you've just figured it out.

No, you're the liar.

There's always hope.

You'll never escape.

Yes...|...wi||!

[grunts]

[intense music]

[grunting]

[panting]

He'll get me out of this.

I know he'll get me out of this.

[grunting]

Don't worry. He gets out of everything, right?

So far.

beep

[all screaming]

[intense music]

[grunting]

Saved by a female.

Guess you better drop him.

- Huh! - Kidding!

(Scott) 'Got room for one more?‘

There's a shortcut at the bottom.

Wait a minute, how did you get out of that water thing?

Trade secret.

[instrumental music]

The whole world is a prison, you dum-dums

and escape is not an option.

Voila, the way out.

clang clang clang

pew pew pew

Now what?

Now...we make miracles.

[instrumental music]

[grunts]

thud thud thud

swoosh swoosh

No, no, no, allow me.

[whooshing]

[explosion]

Flash!

What?

Don't be so cocky.

Vundabar's not done with us yet.

[footsteps approaching]

[intense music]

- Hope you're happy. -lndeed, lam.

[zapping]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[growls]

[growling]

thud thud

- Shouldn't we.. - And spoil their fun?

[grunting]

thud

[zapping]

[explosion]

There's only one way to stop them now.

Blow up the entire complex.

[laughing]

[beeping]

(computer) 'Ten..'

'...nine..'

(computer) '...eight..'

Lusevenn'

Not liking the sound of that.

(computer) '...five..'

'...four..'

'...three..'

'...two..'

'...one.‘

[explosion]

[instrumental music]

[whooshing]

Oh, Scott, you didn't let Granny down.

When I heard the X-Pit had been destroyed

I thought for certain you and dear Kalibak were lost.

How did you manage to get out?

Ask him.

Trade secret.

Enough of this. Where is Oberon?

Ah, yes

that mouthy little pipsqueak was very rude to Granny.

And he's going to be taught a lesson.

See? What'd I tell you?

People are so predictable.

[gasps]

Try not to think about where

you've got Oberon hidden.

Uh, uh-h-h..

Darkseid's old palace. I'll guide you.

[whooshes]

swish swish

[grunting]

swish swish swish

smash

He's safe.

Good, because now I can..

I'm sorry, but you can't.

The power struggle must continue here.

A curse on both their houses.

Indeed.

swoosh

Feel free to applaud at any time.

Ah, it's good to see you, old friend.

It's good to see me too.

All the trouble we had to go through

because of you.

All legs and no heart.

You're just too far away to hear it.

[instrumental music]

click

zap

How?

Granny never failed with any of them.

How did she fail with him?

Oh, one last thing.

[both grunting]

[instrumental music]

[groaning]

[beeping]

- Flash? - Yeah, I know, I know.

I went behind your back.

But look how everything turned out.

'We boomed back here for you'

the switch went off perfectly

and now we've got Kalibak locked up on Earth

where neither side can use him.

- You don't-- - So, yeah.

I did go behind your back.

But you know what?

I'd do it again.

What do you say to that, big guy?

l was only going to ask

if you wanted to play brawlin' bots?

[instrumental music]

Dibs on the green one.

swoosh

I wanted the green one.