Original subtitles

HITMAN!

Oh, what are you doing?

Checking you out for a wife.

Oh, I can assure you I am not a narcotics officer.

I'm here to answer your ad.

Dude, why didn't you say something?

Large thong for sale.

Recently deceased owner claims it was possessed.

Because if there's one thing this pad is lacking, it's a killer fucking thong,

man.

It's the item you've been waiting for.

This is the best investment ever made in my life, bro. Does my bong look

different?

It's a bong, man.

It's evil.

I say let's fire this thing up.

What the fuck are you doing here, old man?

I'll teach you some respect, you insolent little cocksucker.

Amy, can I get a hand here?

Hocus Pocus!

How do we stop it? I don't think it can be stopped, man. The guy that sold it to

me said it had some voodoo curse on it or something, you know?

I thought he was just trying to make a sale.

But it killed all my friends, man.

And it almost got me.

Well, it got all my brain cells.

Take this!

Put this in your pipe, you evil bitch.

In the morning, in the night, when I don't feel so right.

Oh, through the misty haze, the green horizon of my days.

Now the smoke to clear my mind, just a puff to help unwind.

Everywhere I go, I take it. Oh, it's like I can't escape it.

Only thing I need, only thing I need, me and Kareem, we can't leave.

Giving from the devil's feet, feeling for it every day. You know I want that

Mary Jane.

Me, you need, wicked me.

You got a hold of me, feeling for it every day. You know I want that

Mary Jane.

Light the fire, spark the tree.

Make it a part of me.

Think of all the...

What's that?

Mary Jane!

Being green, we can weave heaven from the devil's seed. Seeding for it every

day, you know I want that Mary Jane.

Being green, we can weave heaven from the devil's seed. Seeding for it

every day, you know I want that Mary Jane.

You got a hold of me. You got it. You got it. You know I want that

Mary Jane. You got it. You got it.

Yeah?

Larnell, it's Alistair. He called me, remember?

Alistair? I almost didn't recognize you.

Been kind of out of it, bro.

More so than usual?

Hang on a sec.

Checking up for Popo.

Come on in.

Quick.

So, Larnell, it's been a while?

You look...

Well? Be straight with me, bro.

Our friendship's got to be on that level of honesty or it's nothing at all.

Bros got to be straight with each other. Give me some knocks.

Booyah.

Well, in all candor, you seem a little haggard. Haggard? You don't even know

half of it. I haven't slept in days.

Have your studies been keeping you up? Studies?

No, man, I dropped out.

Well, I was kicked out. What? I'm actually on the run. I set fire to the

administration's building. You what?

Yeah, man, that place was a corrupt institution. They all are.

Colleges and universities, schools of higher learning. Total donkey dick, bro.

They're all in league with the government, trying to control our minds

us all think alike.

Check this out.

I got all the research on it right here.

I'm thinking of writing a book on it. Be a fucking bestseller, too, just like

the Picasso code.

Anyways, I had to get out of there, man, and you should do the same.

You don't want to be brainwashed into thinking like all the other sheep out

there. Save the brain, you know? I think my brain is fine.

My nose is in distress.

Lornell, it smells like something died in here. Oh yeah, I should have warned

you about that.

I dropped an A -bomb in the can earlier.

Anchovy pizza's not sitting too good with me. Gross.

Sorry.

You want some?

How can you smoke that?

I mean, after everything that happened?

Dude, it wasn't the weed. It was the bong. That evil fucking bong, Al.

Right.

Look, Larnell, why exactly did you want to see me? And over the phone, you

mentioned something about Bachman.

Are you two still rooming together?

Yeah, he's at work right now.

He's got a job?

Good that he's taking responsibility.

Slave to the machine, a fucking corporate shill. Never thought I'd see

Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?

Bachman conforming to the status quo?

No, man, it's worse than that.

I think he's got something wrong with him.

Is he not feeling well? I don't know. It's weird. One minute, he just... Dude!

What are you doing home already? I thought you weren't off until five.

Well, that was the plan, dude.

But today, I got fired.

What? Why?

I don't know. That's the mystery. One minute, I'm working the fryer.

Next thing I know, I'm unemployed again.

What happened to the uniform?

Some kid blew chunks on me today.

It was the double avocado burger with cheese and fried eggs. Very unfortunate.

Thank you.

Gnarly. Is that why you got the can? I told you, I don't know, man. Total

mystery.

Ow!

My favorite geek dude.

Come here. Come on. Man hug. Come on.

Come on, guy.

How are you?

You look good. Good to see you too, Brockman. But a simple handshake, what a

surprise.

So what's up? You still doing the college thing?

I certainly am. I'm going after my second major.

Oh, that sounds terrible.

What happened to the first one? Did you lose it or something?

Lose it. I get it.

Get what?

Nothing. Look, Bachman, Larnell called me over here. He said, you know, maybe

you weren't feeling too well.

Ring a bell?

Nah. Nah.

I feel blended, actually. Listen, Bach, he's talking about that problem you've

been having.

What problem? Dude, the one that's been fucking you up for the past week.

I'm not recalling.

Is it amnesia? I mean, is that the problem? That's only part of it.

Part? Homies.

Look, the only problem I'm having is getting canned from Sloppy Burger today.

And to be quite honest with you, it's not really that big of a problem.

My God, what's wrong with him?

Sometimes I can catch him before he hits ground, Dale.

Please.

Seems fast asleep.

I mean, is this what you were telling me about?

Totally, man.

The buck just keeps crashing for no reason.

Like one minute he's having some chow or getting freaky at a club, and the next

he just drops out, totally out of it.

He told me it happened once, when he was in the middle of banging some fat chick

with a super hairy cooter.

Eloquent as usual, Arno.

Dude, I'm just upset.

Bot keeps crashing for no reason. Probably why he got fired from Sloppy

today. Started snoring when he was grilling burgers and fell asleep or

something. Doesn't remember anything when he wakes up, neither.

I always gotta fill him in on what's been going on. Yeah, well, it sounds

he's narcoleptic.

Narc? Dude, we don't mention narco in this house.

Larnell, narcolepsy is a medical condition characterized by a sudden

uncontrollable desire for sleep.

He needs to be taken to a doctor.

Forget that. No doctors.

Why not?

Bunch of quacks, all of them. They're all in league with the pharmaceutical

companies, pushing pills on us we don't need and keeping weed off the shelf.

Dick.

But Bachman needs help.

That's why I called you. No, I mean professional help.

Man, doctors, hospitals, they wouldn't be able to do anything. Yeah, and I can.

I mean, I'm not qualified. Just sit there for a second, okay?

Bachman's not the only one.

Have you been narcoleptic too?

No, man, not me. It's something else.

We'll talk about me later.

You seen Brett lately?

I heard he was playing baseball.

Somewhere down south, wasn't it?

A minor league team?

Not anymore, man. Just wait until you see him.

Why? What's going on?

Get my back, Al.

Get the door.

Could be five up.

Who is it?

Who is it?

Who the fuck do you think it is, cockknocker? You're the dipshit that

Hey!

What's up, B?

Sorry, man. You're bigger than last time I saw you.

Ginormous. Oh, yeah? Well, whatever.

Look, Luann's parked in the car. She had to drive me here. My gut won't even fit

underneath the steering wheel. Bummer.

Come on.

It's okay.

I know.

I know, okay? You don't have to say anything. I'm hideous.

No, I mean, it's not that, Fred.

It's not... It's just unexpected, that's all.

Yeah.

Okay, okay, okay.

I know he's badass, but go ahead and say it. Hey, Luann, you sure know how to

make a guy feel good.

Ray of sunshine as always. No, I seriously cannot be in public with him.

not when he's... It's with that.

Oh, my God. I mean, seriously, like, what would people think of me?

I don't know. Maybe they'd think you're his caring girlfriend who loved him no

matter what he looked like. Dude, are you fucking kidding me?

T is like a fat -ass, flabby whale, okay?

He should have, like, Greenpeace boats circling around him. Thanks, hon.

Appreciate that.

Dude, what's Greek in here? You don't want to know.

Oh, my God. Or not. You are such a slob. Hey, Luann, shut up.

Okay, I'll talk to the fellas. Don't you tell me to shut up or you can just go

roll your fat ass home.

Sorry about that, guys.

Thanks for coming over, Al.

Art told me he's an employer.

Oh my gosh, Brett.

What happened?

I mean, it hasn't been that long since I've seen you.

Certainly not long enough for that.

You know, I don't know what it is, man. I can't stop eating.

Oh, don't do it.

Oh, shit.

Is that Bachman?

Yeah, don't mind him.

We'll catch you up to speed later, man.

You guys think eating is dumb?

And the kids.

Would you watch it?

It's on my nail!

Pizza!

How old is it?

I don't know, a few days.

Are those anchovies?

Go for it.

What's the green stuff?

Probably mold, man. It's been sitting a while.

I can work with that.

Why don't you go eat some garbage while you're at it? I don't understand, Brett.

I mean, you used to be the picture of health. I mean, you were an athlete.

No shit.

Now I'm so fat, can't even see my own dick.

Monkey.

Fuck me, bro!

Yeah!

What's up, dude?

What's up, bro?

Do I know you?

Dude, it's me.

Brett.

Holy shit.

Job with a heart. Look at your man boobs.

At least I'm not the one who's vomiting my shirt. Knock, knock.

Oh, how did that happen?

Remember, Buck, when you were at work and the kids with the avocado burger.

yeah. Some kid blue chunks told me today at work. I was singing a soppy burger

song. Yeah.

Soppy, soppy burger.

They make it full of sop. Soppy, soppy burger.

Shit. Dude, what the hell happened to that idiot?

He bounced off my gun. Thanks for being there to break his fall, man.

What's his problem, bro? I mean, he used to get a crack when he got baked, but,

well, I like this.

Wait a minute.

I mean, Bachman has narcolepsy. He's always sleazy.

Brett can't stop eating. He's always hungry.

Yeah, man, I got the constant munchies, dude. It's exaggerated side effects of

smoking pot.

How long has Bachman been exhibiting these symptoms?

I don't know, a couple weeks, something like that. And how about you, Brett? How

long have you been eating like that?

About the same, maybe a little bit less. You put on all that weight in less than

two weeks?

This shit's not cool.

Oh, let's see.

Bachman, then Brett, and they were two of the first to be affected by the bomb,

along with Larnell, who doesn't seem to be... Get off me! Get off me, you

fucking freak!

Dude, what the hell is your fucking problem?

Luan, I didn't mean to. Sometimes I can't control my sexual urges. Urges?

You were fucking dry humping her like a little German shepherd chihuahua combo.

See, I didn't mean it. You know Luan's not my type.

My type?

What?

Are you a homo alien?

Now, what exactly is going on, Larnell?

Dude, it's what I was trying to tell you. My sexual urges make me pounce like

fucking cougar.

Lowered inhibitions? Another side effect.

How long has it been going on?

A couple weeks.

But I think it's getting worse.

Wait, wait,

wait. Don't you see? The three of you were the first to smoke from the bong.

And somehow, they're having delayed side effects.

Exaggerated side effects.

Well, how do we stop it?

It's a good question.

You smoked from the bong too, Al?

Yeah.

Not until later.

Maybe my side effects won't present themselves until later. Hello?

I smoked from the bong the same time Mr. Fats over there did.

Hey! Right! I know, but she's right. I mean, this affliction seems to be

somewhat selective in its victim.

It's the bong, bro.

She's the one doing this fucking shit to us. We gotta stop it.

A little self -control, Arnelle, please.

I'm gonna come.

You want me to fucking come?

Come.

Something's fucking with my head, bro. Me too, man.

This shit is gonna get worse if we don't stop it. Yeah, and before the rest of

us are affected.

That's why I called you, dude.

You're the smartest guy I know.

But I can't do anything without more information.

We need to find somebody who can tell us more about the bong and its history.

Like who? Jimbo's dead.

What about the shipping service?

You know, the one who delivered the bong to you?

I don't suppose you still have the receipt.

There's a message to this madman.

I know where everything is in this place. I'm like a fucking pack rat.

Wait, I seriously agree about the rest of the part.

You really... I'll have to make some

calls. Hey, whatever you need to do, man. I mean, this may take a while.

I can't come to the party tonight.

I have to take Samu back.

The world.

Hey, fuck you.

You want to go to a party? Go to a party. I don't need your fucking

Fine. Why don't you go have your little idiot give you a ride home?

Have a good time sticking your finger down the throat, garden salad.

How's my hair?

How's my nails?

Let's get down to business.

Yes, thank you.

That was the delivery service.

They had to match up the receipt number to... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut to the

chase now.

Did you find the guy or not?

Yes. It turns out he's on the delivery not too far from here.

I had to pretend we had a package for pickup just to get them to send him

Devious, man.

I'm proud of you.

You know, I have to admit, the duplicity gave me somewhat of a charge.

Oh, I hate that vegetarian shit.

Man, I'm starving. You guys ready to eat in this dump?

Hey!

When did you get here?

Don't you remember?

Dude, this stuff's getting worse.

Me too, man.

I have never been so starving.

Yo, fat boy.

What's up, man?

You are huge. I know. We've talked about this already.

Queer.

I can see your ass from space.

Oh, that must be the delivery guy.

Let me see.

Are you sure?

Who else would it be? Hey, bro, you never know.

The feds might be sending guys after me because of that book I'm going to write.

They don't want me to expose their secrets. Open the door.

I'll make sure.

You guys got a pickup?

Uh, well, actually... You see, I didn't... Hang on, Al.

Who sent you?

Who didn't send me? Who didn't send you?

What do you mean?

No, not what, who?

That's what I'm asking.

I know you're asking what, but you want to know who sent me.

Yes, who sent you?

Dude, what are you talking about?

I'm not talking about what. You're the one that keeps bringing it up.

When? Yes.

Yes, what?

No, yes, when. That's who sent me. What?

No, when.

Would you two cockknockers shut the fuck up?

It's not a comedian routine. It's an old guy. Yeah, Abbott and Costello.

Who?

Nothing. Listen, Mr. Delivery Man, Mr. Call me Rabbit.

Okay, very well then. Mr. Rabbit.

No, just Rabbit.

Okay.

Look, some time ago you delivered a package to us, although we were living

different apartment near the university at that time. If you say so. Look,

inside the package was something very unique. Dude, in the box was a bong.

An evil bong.

I remember that bong.

You do?

Yeah. I had to wait for the lady to pack it up before I delivered it to you

guys.

She told me stories about it.

Which stories?

I might remember a little better if you were to share some of that herbal

essence.

Herbal what?

Talking about the ganja, bro.

I don't know that, bro.

Oh.

This is great.

Okay. She was divorcing her husband. Yeah, that would be Jimbo.

Yeah, that was his name.

She said he bought that bong in South America when he was in the Peace Corps

the 60s.

When he brought it back, it killed half his friends before he locked it away in

the attic.

She told me stories, man.

They speared into my brain.

Are you delivering to us without telling us the warnings first?

I was just happy to get the son of a bitch off my truck. All right, listen.

Mr. Sorry, Rabbit.

I don't suppose you recall the lady mentioning where Jimbo got the bong?

I mean, where in South America?

I remember.

I remember.

Bongs are bigger than Brett.

Hey, do you single fairies know where we are?

Maybe we took a wrong turn at the river.

Dude, we took a wrong turn at Pomona. This was the dumbest idea.

No, it wasn't.

Look, in order to cure your afflictions, we need to research the bong's origin.

We need to find where Jimbo bought the bong. In order to do that, we need to

find where he was serving in the Peace Corps in the 60s.

It's around here somewhere.

If you remembered right, I remembered right.

What did we bring the delivery dude for again?

Hey, I got a $200 a week job I have to get up at 5 a .m. for. What am I missing

out on? Plus, a trip to the Amazon on somebody else's dime sounded like a good

idea. Yeah, and my dime. My credit card to be exact.

By the way, thanks for that, Al. I'm going to get you back. Thanks, buddy.

I'm sure you will.

Monkey.

We've been plenty of monkeys since we've been out here, B. So what? Nah, dude.

Monkey like in bad shit With

all

these skulls cannibals are living here. They love to snack on stupid white dudes

The chances of any cannibals living in this region is remote at best

At least they hope it's remote.

They'll tie us up and roast us alive.

Then they'll cut off the top of our skulls and scoop our brains out while

still cooking.

That's a delicacy to them.

Great.

I could go for some of that. Dude, you're ill.

Look, I guarantee those skulls are a warning to scare cannibals away, not an

indication that any cannibals actually live here.

If you're so sure, why don't you go knock?

Yeah. Any of you guys coming with me? I don't want to get eaten, bro.

Just look at it this way, Al.

Some of those cannibals might be getting smarter by eating your brain.

I'd be doing them a favor.

Circle of life, bro.

Circle of life.

Better you than me.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Cannibal check!

Who are you guys and what do you want?

Uh, we, uh... My name is Alistair and we're from California.

We seem to be a bit lost, Miss... Felicity.

Felicity, could you maybe... Sorry

about that.

We have to be careful around here.

Who's we?

My father and I.

Well, my dad passed away a few months ago. His partner and I are continuing

scientific research.

The skulls are meant to scare away the locals.

I'm sorry, we didn't mean to intrude, but we could certainly use some

And eat.

If you have anything.

I suppose it's all right if you come in for a while.

My partner's out gathering samples. He won't be back until later.

Fuck! Fuck!

Is he okay?

It's a long story.

Oh, man, this shit is good. What is this?

Grub stew?

Took me a long time to grow custom of the taste. My yummers are the comers.

What you guys have told me is fascinating.

Well, it's kind of hard for us to see it that way when we're living it.

So, he can't stop eating, this one's an narcoleptic, and you...

I'll knock it off, bird!

Sorry, dude, my chode's on fire.

Listen, Velicity, hey, you mind if I call you V?

Not at all.

Sorry about that, V. I can't help myself.

So I gathered a lowering of sexual inhibition.

Fascinating. And you guys think this has something to do with this strange bong

you told me about?

Yes, we do.

An evil bong, that's what it was. Fucking evil. Is it just me, or do you

weed? You know, I was going to mention that, but my nose isn't quite as attuned

to the fragrance as all of yours. Oh, why don't you tell me more about this

bong? You think maybe it came from this area?

Well, perhaps, but, I mean, this would have been like...

40 years ago?

I mean, I understand the chances of us finding any traces of its origin are

slim, but things are only recourse.

I may be able to tell you more about it if I could see it.

You said it was destroyed?

Fuckin' A.

Any pictures of it?

Not that I'm aware of.

Larnell? Might be able to do one better.

Look at this.

Incredible. Barnell, you didn't tell me there was any of it left. Why'd you

bring them? That thing didn't cause enough problems as it is. Thought they

come in handy.

This is truly remarkable.

What do you make of it?

I've never seen anything like it. Well, not in person, at least. I mean, I've

read about it in obscure science journals, but I never thought there was

truth to it. Any truth to what?

If I'm right, this appears to be the workmanship of an ancient tribe rumored

have lived in this vicinity eons ago, and no one's ever laid eyes on them.

you know, that's why the veracity of the stories is in question. But I've often

heard them whispered about in the marketplace. You know, villagers tell

kids stories around the campfire at night.

Stories about who? Yes, who is this mysterious tribe?

The Puntang tribe.

Good one, lady.

You had us going. I realize this may sound ridiculous, but I didn't make it

I mean, the name's been around for generations.

Okay, okay.

Maybe somebody's putting you on, like the villagers putting one over on the

white American girl. You know what I mean?

Unbelievable, you know. You guys want to stick around and listen to this horse

dookie? The Puntang tribe is not a joke.

Okay, whatever.

We believe in the Puntang.

Did it?

Okay, I'll check.

When did I chip my teeth? Here, Bachman, have some water.

Okay.

What's so funny?

Steffi.

Fuck! Dude, you're squirting massive water!

Maybe it's just a poontang!

Yeah, we gotta stop this shit. I need a cure quick.

I think I just might be able to help you guys after all. Just give me a few

hours.

Huh?

Hey, you don't believe all that talk about poontang tribe, do you? Don't say

poontang. I'm hoping some exercise will take my mind off this perpetual boner.

I got a purple vein popping through. Oh!

Hey, hey, you all right? Shooting pain.

Breathe, breathe.

I'm breathing. I wouldn't mind running into some native women right now.

I could use some exercise.

That's what I'm talking about.

Whoa! Look at this.

Told you I smell weed.

Huh? Look at this. The mother load.

Huh?

Man. This is some major herbage.

This is going to pay for my...

Trip back and then some.

Goodbye delivery service.

We could go to Amsterdam.

Un -fucking -believable.

Holy shit, Grandpa.

I travel halfway around the world and I still can't shake you.

You're like a genital wart.

You know this, dude?

Yeah, it's my Grandpa C.

But dude, where's the wheelchair?

You haven't walked since I was a kid.

Yeah, well, things change, obviously.

Now.

What the hell are you doing here, you worthless little douchebag?

Dude, no love. Where's the hug?

Don't mess with me, you little cocksucker.

Now answer my question.

You still haven't told me how come you're walking.

That's on a need to know.

And you certainly don't need to know.

Now, what the fuck are you doing here?

Well, if that's the way you're going to play it, then that's on a need to know,

too. What you need to know, sonny boy.

is that if your eensy -weensy teeny little penis was a worm on a hook, it

wouldn't feed a goddamn guppy. Hey, how about I just leave you two to your

little love fest here, okay?

Stop!

Put it back.

Oh, hey, sorry. Put it back!

I didn't know it belonged to anybody, okay? You expect me to believe that load

of horse shit?

You're as brain dead as this.

Micro dick moron here. Calm it down, Gramps. Yeah, chill out, man. Why don't

try some of your stash and, you know, chill?

Gramps, what are you doing with all this weed? This weed, as you refer to it, is

the culmination of years of intensive and deep study and research.

Study, huh?

Well, hey, you and I get the same ideas about learning. How dare you mock me,

you miserable little creep? How dare I?

Are you for real, man? Wait a minute, research?

So you're working with Felicity.

You know each other?

Felicity.

Larnell, Zero, what's going on out here?

This turd is my grandson.

Now, where do you know him from, young lady?

Well, he and his friends came here looking for help.

Friends? Oh, don't tell me that he's brought those bunch of morons with him.

They're in the hut.

Useless. Useless is a disease -infected jockstrap. All of them.

Ew.

I told you, we can't have intruders. This land still belongs to my father, so

have a say who comes here.

Yeah, well, all right.

But I want them out of here by sundown.

Wait, he's your grandfather?

Loving, ain't he?

You two need Dr.

Phil to the rescue, big time.

It's a very special type of marijuana. It grows only here deep in the jungle.

My father's been researching it for years, and I took a leave from medical

school to assist him.

Well, Cyril knew my dad from college, and after dad passed away a few months

ago, Cyril agreed to help with finances. I mean, I couldn't have continued the

research without him.

Research my ass.

That stuff is packaged to move.

O 'Cyril is going into business.

That stuff is worth millions on the street.

I assure you that is not the case. My research is legitimate.

Then why keep it secret?

What do you mean?

Earlier, when we said we smelled marijuana, you changed the subject.

Because I'm not ready for the world to know. While the value of the drug is

on the black market, its potential value as a medicinal tool is infinite.

You mean like people smoking it for glaucoma, trying to cope with pain and

stuff? Much more powerful than that.

How do you think your grandfather is able to walk again?

No shit.

I believe that this drug has curative powers that could vanquish almost any

ailment. Even cancer. I'm convinced of it. Herpes?

A cure for cancer?

Whoa.

You know, I'm kind of ailing right now.

I could probably use some of that weed.

That's exactly what I was thinking. I felt you three would be the perfect

candidates for a controlled test.

But with Cyril so worked up right now, he won't let us anywhere near it. Well,

this is your lucky day, sister.

Dude,

you sneak.

Monkey.

They don't call me the delivery man for nothing. I'm a professional.

Look, the pieces of the bomb.

Ooh, I know that smell anyway.

That smells like home, but I haven't been home for years.

Dudes, I think I'm tweaking. I'm hearing shit.

No, man.

We're all hearing it. Hey, what? Wait a minute. What happened to me? I'm all

busted up.

Astounding. It seems that her proximity to the marijuana has brought her back to

life. Dudes, it's super weed. This shit is whack. When I find out who fucked me

up, I'm gonna fuck them up. How can we get her to shut the fuck up?

We need to get her... it... away from the marijuana.

Allow me.

Oh, get your hands off me, or I'll throw down on your ass.

Hey, guys, that thing may be worth more than the weed.

What are you talking about? Think about it. We put the talking bong on TV.

Letterman, The Tonight Show, sitcoms. Awesome.

Yeah, we could get the guy from Friends, right? And him and the bong move into

an apartment.

And he's really neat, but the bong's messy. And he's always having to clean

after it.

Awesome, dude. Are you nuts? The last thing we want is for that thing to be

alive again. Trust me. Yeah, we'd have to kill it.

Again. First things first, knockers.

We gotta be a day fix.

Let's medicate.

Are you guys up for it?

Fuckin' A.

What else do I got to lose except two extra pounds?

I'm in.

How much weed could you smoke in a dead poop joint? 10 joint finger joints,

that's nowhere.

How much we could smoke in a day? All alone.

All alone.

Could you smoke ten feet of heat once or twice?

All alone.

Could you burn a dozen sticks of blueberry tie?

Bro, this is some pretty strong shit.

Hey,

give me some of that.

It's for medicinal purposes, Rabbit, not recreation.

Well, come to mention it, I'm...

Got a little itchy throat.

Rabbit, we're trying to conduct a controlled experiment.

Do you mind?

I want to set us a serial and see what he makes of it.

I wouldn't if I were you. Dude can't be trusted.

I think you're overreacting.

Not at all, V. My etch -a -sketch got ganked when I was six.

I know it was Gramps. I just couldn't prove it.

I admit he can be a bit of a handful, but he made a promise to my father to

always treat me as an equal partner and not go against my wishes.

Well, if you say so.

He seems to like you, at least.

Hey, sorry about all this.

You know, if we caused you any problems.

On the contrary.

It's nice to have a little excitement around here for a change.

Thanks, Felicity.

Dude, you two would be good together.

Why do you say that?

Because you're both brainiacs.

I have to say, her intelligence makes her all the more alluring, but it's not

she seems attracted to.

It's you.

Get out of Dodge.

Seriously.

I may not know much about women, but I have read that it is the male upon whom

the affection is showered who is often the least aware of the attention.

Dude, I don't think I know what you just said.

It's clear to me, as an outside observer...

That velocity is attracted to you.

Dumb nuts.

She's giving you the total fuck -me -ice.

What would she want with a skateboard humper like me? The mysteries of the

female are myriad and complex.

Dude,

that hurt.

Dude, help me get him up.

Is he going to be okay, man?

Oh, dude, you gave me a black eye with your boner.

Sorry, bro.

Like V's going to fall for a guy with constant wood. Hey, man, more

than that, the super weed's not working, man.

Bach keeps crashing, man. I'm a whale. You're a walking Viagra ad.

You guys have to give it more time.

Your symptoms won't vanish instantaneously.

Look, why don't you guys lie down, get some sleep, like Bachman.

Yeah. What he said.

I'll take care of that for you.

Stoner.

That's not enough.

Not nearly enough.

That buyer of yours is going to have to do a lot better than that.

I don't want any of your excuses, you little fuck.

This is the score of a lifetime, and I'm not going to throw it away for peanuts.

God damn it.

Oh, I smell it again. I know I do.

Oh, that's the good stuff. Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Cyril.

Oh, Felicity, my dear.

I thought I heard a strange voice.

You watch who you're calling strange, motherfucker.

What's that?

It's nothing.

You lied to me, Cyril.

What do you mean?

About the marijuana?

Well, what about it? She's talking about the ganja, the primo stuff, my sweet,

sweet weed.

What is going on?

I heard you on the phone.

Rabbit was right. You are going to sell it on the black market. Listen to me,

Felicity. I quit my schooling to come down here.

My father knew his research would improve medicine around the world, and

promised you understood that.

Don't be so naive, girl.

Do you imagine that when the... Big drug companies find out about this marijuana

that you're going to stand any chance to lay any claim to it. They'd squeeze you

out of the equation just as quick as they could, as if you never even

I don't care about that.

As long as the drug helps save lives.

Oh, the poor bleeding heart.

Well, I suppose you're a doctor, so you have to care.

Well, I'm not a doctor. I'm a capitalist.

And I don't give two shits about saving lives.

All I want to do is to sell this stuff for as much as I can so I can get myself

out of this goddamn stinking armpit of the world.

You best watch your tongue. This armpit used to be my crib.

What have you got there?

Where did you get this?

Larnell and his friends brought it. Are those morons still around? I thought I

told you to get rid of them. Larnell warned me not to trust you.

Oh, don't listen to that brain -dead abortion.

What you need to do is to put him and his rabble on the first boat out of

Preferably one with a slow leak. They need my help.

Worthless.

This is fantastic.

It reminds me of those ancient ruins that your father showed me once.

It's the work of the Poon Tang tribe.

Oh, I don't want to hear nothing about those bitches. They stole my man from

What makes it speak?

Did you just call me an it? I am not an it, motherfucker. I am 100 % grade -A

female. I think it's the marijuana.

You're damn right it's the marijuana, sugar. I need me another taste of that.

Go back to the hospital and we can talk later.

Don't be surprised if I'm not there when you get back.

But be sure to take those dipshit dunderheads with you.

You're wonderful.

Worth your weight in gold, I bet.

You ain't so bad yourself, honey.

Now, did I hear you right? You're really gonna sell this stuff on the street,

huh?

Well, now, I know something about the street. First things first.

I'll tell you how to use some of that sweet weed to put me back together. Then

you and me are going to rule the world, Whiskers!

I

told

you guys that was packaged to move.

It's worth millions on the street.

Hey, not now, Rabbit.

I mean, can't you see Felicity's upset?

Oh, sorry.

I'm just saying, maybe old Cyril was on to something.

Especially if he cut you in on the action. She was supposed to be using her

medicine.

It was going to cure cancer.

You don't know if that weed's going to work on those three.

Why don't you wait and see if it cures a blubber belly?

and a perpetual boner before you start thinking about wiping out the big C. You

know, Rabbit, I really don't think you're qualified to judge the medicinal

merits of... No, wait.

He makes a good point.

Crude, but valid.

I mean, your friends here are case studies number one, two, and three, and

scientist, it behooves me to wait for their results before looking to the

future.

Hopefully it won't be much longer.

Well, it behooves me to stretch my legs.

I'll see you guys later.

How long have you known him?

Not long.

Why?

Nothing. Never mind.

I really hope they'll be all right.

Now that's what I'm talking about.

How do you feel?

How do I look, baby? Like a million bucks.

You ever seen such a foodalicious brick house in all your life? I don't think

so.

Amazing.

I'll say, that's some super weed you got.

Oh, thank you again.

What do you want now, you cretinous fuckhole?

Hey, I could ask you the same thing, except maybe the cretin part.

I gotta tell you, I don't think it was a good idea putting her back together.

Why not?

She's a killer.

What? Sweet little old me a killer?

Now, why you got to go and diss me like that?

She's off more victims than Charlie Manson.

Say what?

Just watch your back.

You're the one who needs to watch his back.

Yeah, what he said.

You guys won't hurt me.

Yeah?

I grind assholes like you at for breakfast.

Well, not this asshole.

You can use me.

You? Think about it. Who's going to oversee your shipments, your deliveries?

You? You don't want to get your little rich boy hands all dirty, huh?

And she doesn't have any arms.

Well, I suppose you might have a point there.

Now, all we got to do is negotiate my cut.

That's some good.

I sure am hungry.

He's hungry.

That's not a good sign.

Hey, dish me up some of that, would you?

What?

I tickle myself?

Correct.

You're skinny again.

Huh?

Holy shit. My blubber's gone. Yeah.

Yeah.

Chunky ass.

You lost all your cellulite.

Really?

I know.

Hey, Bachman, how do you feel?

I'm stoked, bro.

Best I've felt in a while. Thank you for asking.

Hey.

What's next, doctor?

Turn my head and cough?

No, and I'm not going to put the rubber glove on either. I think you might like

it. Shit.

What about you, Lionel? How do you feel?

I think I feel okay.

I don't have the sudden urge to hump the table or Brett's armpit.

That's good.

Sorry, dude.

Come over, guys. Why don't I just show up?

There you go.

Mmm. Mmm.

Good.

So that's pretty much the ballpark I had in mind, Cheryl.

You must be stoned on some of that weed.

I wouldn't pay a floor manager in one of my taxis that kind of money.

And I certainly wouldn't pay it to a shit -licking loser like you. Don't let

screw you, my man.

Take it or leave it, asshole.

But keep in mind, if you don't take it, when I get back to civilization, I may

drop a dime on your little illegal operation.

Oh, you pus -oozing syphilitic prick.

He's a rascal.

Hey, now, rascal, I like that.

Suppose if I'm going to dip my toe into this line of work, I'm going to have to

get used to working with Swiss cum like you.

You all right down there?

Ooh, you bitch is back. Step off.

Who the hell are you calling a bitch? She's not speaking to us, retard.

Oh, amazing.

Must be the Poontang tribe.

I'll say.

Oh, you don't understand.

There's never been any proof that they ever existed.

No one's ever seen them before.

Not since the Stone Age.

Looks like she wants the bomb. No, you keep her away from me, you hear? Those

bitches stole my man.

Don't let them take the weed, whatever you do.

Not so fast, you tribal... What?

Hey, now that... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Ladies, ladies.

Okay, okay.

You don't have to... Back off! Back off, you skanky jungle hoes!

Thanks for

everything, V.

Oh, thank you.

I'm really glad you stumbled in here.

Finally gave me a chance to test the medicinal properties of the drug. Glad I

could be your guinea pig. Almost hate to be taken off.

Who says you have to go so soon?

Al's got to get back to school, Brett's got baseball, and Bachman's got to sell

drugs to underage kids.

And you?

Kind of writing a book.

About what?

It's about the multi -level conspiracy being perpetuated on the public by

institutes of higher learning. Might sound kind of dumb, huh?

Don't know if you're into that sort of thing.

On the contrary.

I'm very interested.

Really?

Really.

Wish you'd stay and tell me about it.

Don't know if Gramps would like that too much.

Who cares what he thinks?

Fuck him.

Goddamn fuckholes!

Gramps! Get him some water!

Right on it.

Gramps, what happened?

It was the Poontang tribe.

Too delirious.

They took the bong and their dumb shit.

Rabbit? Couldn't stop them.

Brutal. They can't have gone far.

Go after them. You can track them down.

Find those bong -napping bitches.

You're as beautiful as ever.

And you're as ugly as ever, motherfucker.

I hoped I'd seen the last of you after the way you treated me. Oh, baby, don't

be that way. Give me a kiss and let's make up. You must be tripping.

I ain't gonna be smooching on you after you've been hanging around with those

skanks. Skanks? You must mean skankalicious.

Look at them.

Oh, these are my ladies.

Don't you be talking bad about them.

Mm -mm.

Not at all, lady.

I used to be your lady motherfucker till you got the taste for jungle poon. Now

let's talk about this, baby.

Don't do the hand job, ass.

Oh.

Oh, this is some crazy shit.

Oh, okay.

Well, you don't have to twist my arm.

Twist that on down for him right there. Yeah, put that in your mouth.

Look at you, sucking on it like it's your cousin.

That's right. Put it in there.

Feels good.

Now how does that taste, my brother?

Yeah. Blow it out. Blow it.

Look at you rolling your eyes in the back of your head like that. Like

just fucked you up your ass.

Did it fuck you up your ass?

Come on.

That's good stuff, ain't it?

Up to your old tricks again, I see. Well, if anybody here would know

about old tricks, it would be you.

Baby, that's the way I roll.

Boom shakalaka, bitch.

We have to rescue Rabbit.

Yeah. No, are you kidding?

Dude, that sounds like a terrible idea.

It could be dangerous. How can we get the hell out of here?

I'm going to miss my shift at Poppy Burger.

Dude, you got fired last week, remember?

Shit. We've got to get Rabbit out of there. How are we supposed to fight a

jungle tribe?

A tribe of women.

Women with fear?

You think it was the other way around where I would have come looking for one

us? That's not the point. Look, without Rabbit's help, none of us would have

gotten here in the first place.

You'd still weigh 400 pounds.

You'd still be narcoleptic.

Narco? And you would still be in a state of constant arousal.

Come on, guys. We owe this to Rabbit. He's right.

Yeah.

Monkey.

I can't impress upon you enough how dangerous the Puntang tribe is reputed

be.

The name like poontang, they're probably a bunch of pussies.

Could be fun.

Now where the fuck do these motherfuckers think they're going?

Just shut up. Shut up. Let me handle this shit.

Look!

Oh man, it's the evil fucking bong. Who put her back together?

Well, it's good to see you, too.

Welcome to the jungle, mofo.

There's another one of them. Glad you took that dick out your ass so you could

see me.

It's amazing.

It appears to have been here for centuries.

Oh, but I still got it, sugar. Let me know if you ever want a little taste of

this.

This one can talk, too, just like the other one?

Don't let him play you, girl. He ain't all he's talked up to be. I'm still on

your lips.

Where's the delivery, dude? I don't see no jungle babes, either.

Remember what happened to us when we smoked out of that one? We went into the

bong. No, our spirits went in. It wasn't until you guys were killed in the bong

world that you actually died.

What if this one's more powerful?

And can transport the entire physical being.

Exactly.

You're saying that Rabbit and the Jungle Babes were in that thing?

Alive? That's bogus! Cracker, who the fuck do you call in bogus?

I'm afraid our only chance of rescuing Rapid...

It's a go -in after him. Why don't we get trapped in there? Think about this,

bro. If we can go in physically, then we can get out physically.

A wonderful bit of deductive reasoning right now.

Have my moments?

No, wait a sec. Let's say we go in and get Rabbit, then what?

You got to destroy him, fool!

You need to watch your mouth, girl.

You hear me?

You mean destroy this bong? This king bong?

How do we do that?

Now you say something, I'm gonna bust your ass, you hear me?

You got to destroy his symbol of power. Oh, see, now I got to kill you, bitch.

Symbol of power?

Why are you telling us this?

Why help us destroy him? Because of the way he done me wrong.

I used to be his one and only. Now he's got all those young bitches in there.

Big boobs, skinny ass bitches.

Ooh, big boobs, skinny.

You mean you aren't gonna try to stop us? Hell no!

He deserves whatever he gets. Now, girlfriend, why you got to do me like

You love it. Hey, I ain't your girlfriend anymore, motherfucker. You

I'm going down.

The question is, do we believe her?

What choice do we have? All right, then.

Let's do this.

Let's burn this motherfucker.

Send Bachman first.

Come on, B.

Yeah, come on, B. Put it in your mouth.

That's right. Suck on that.

Oh, yeah. Put your hands up like you're in a kung fu movie, bitch, because

you're coming with me.

Ha -ha.

Whoa.

Hocus Pocus.

Oh, yeah.

Who's going to be next?

Bring your punk ass up here. Come on.

Suck it. Just like you did in college with the basketball team.

Now, come on down here and show me how it's really done.

Yeah.

This is going to be good. Ha -ha -ha -ha -ha -ha.

You bitches coming to play right now.

Welcome to me casa, me brothers.

Go ahead, take your pick of one of these ladies.

Oh, yeah.

Look essential, dude.

That's right, and the first one is on the house.

Take a look at them.

Mm -hmm, you like it.

Who you looking at?

Oh, Tokika. Yes, that's the one.

You like her, don't you?

Yes, that's what I thought.

Go over there and get you some Tokika, bitch. Go on.

Walk up on it. Walk up on it.

Touch her.

Touch her.

Not each other, bitches. Touch her.

Come on.

Come on. Touch it. Make it feel good.

That's all you can say, bitch. That's a boo.

Shit. Oh, that's right.

Giggle like you a Mormon in church. Go on.

You're a temple, not my temple. And things are going to get very

Come on now.

Come on now.

Hold it like you're singing a show tune.

That's right.

Suck it.

Come on.

You coming down?

Come on.

Gotcha. Don't be scared.

Step on up.

Stupid ass.

Oh, hello.

Rabbit's happy.

Oh, hello.

Release the twins.

Rabbits? You're still alive?

Yeah.

What are you doing here? Of course I'm still alive.

We've got to get you out of here.

Are you crazy?

Look at the pain.

Don't you see?

They're lubing you up for the slaughter.

The only slaughter is going on in my pants.

You know how many times I've been laid?

Look, I don't have time to explain. We've got to destroy that king bong and

out of here.

Why aren't you listening to... Oh, hi.

Oh, you know what? Step aside, ma 'am. I'm not a man who's

prone to violence, and I'm loathe to strike a woman, but in this case, I

not rule out physical... Hey, now, that was uncalled

for. I mean, hey, now... Al?

Oh, kinky.

Kinky.

Here we go. Here we go.

We're going to take it right there.

We're going to take it right there.

Take it right there, Tokika.

Watch over him, girl.

That's right.

Oh, that's right. Touch that booby boob.

Let him know what it feels.

Bring it on down for him.

Oh, look at him.

Just giggling because he don't know what to do with it.

Most white folks don't know what to do with it.

Look at him eyes rolling in the back of his head. Girl, throw that on him. Throw

it on him.

Throw it on him.

Oh, yeah.

Come on, Takika, stop this mess.

Surprise, little baby boys.

Look down.

Son of a... What?

Dude, we're tied up.

You dick, we blew it! We were supposed to come up with a can of whoop -ass on

King Bong and now look at us. We were thinking with our wieners again, Brett.

Never trust your wiener.

Damn it.

Hey, guys.

Hey, delivery dude.

Hey,

take it easy, babe.

I'm not really into the pain, kid.

Don't you get it, Uncle Fester?

They're going to kill you, man.

That's what I was trying to say, but you're not going to really kill me, are

you? I mean, no shit?

No shit, pink dick. Come on now.

But don't worry, it won't hurt.

Not much anyway.

That's good.

Hey, you best get in there, white boy. I think your homies might be in trouble.

Double trouble.

Maybe you should stay behind in case something happens.

Oh, Lord.

Hurry up over here, boy.

I'm going in, baby.

Now just grab the pipe.

Come on.

I always feel like somebody's watching me.

Good luck, you crazy sucker.

You're gonna need it.

Trippy stuff.

Bale, wake up.

I will strike you, but... Wait a minute.

Dude, it's me, Larnell.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, I must have been knocked unconscious.

And it seems they've taken Rabbit.

Where'd they take him? Unknown.

Well, we better find out before it's too late. Come on.

What are they going to do to me? Man, I can't take it. I don't want to pay. What

if they cut my phone?

What if they cut my heart out? You have got to calm down.

I can't pay.

I can't pay.

No. What?

What?

What are they doing?

I don't know.

What is it?

Come on now, ladies. Roll it out.

Roll it out.

Butcher paper.

Butcher might not be the right word to use right now, though.

Yeah.

Twist it.

Twist it good.

Roll it tight. You know, like a lot of spit on it.

Come on.

They're turning him into a giant doobie!

Lord, Lord, please. I need your help here. If you get me out of this, I swear

I'll stop smoking and drinking and whoring and... Well, maybe not the

part.

Right now you need to ask whether you are a doobie or a don't -bie.

Look, the bong.

Man, that bong's got bling.

Remember? We have to destroy its symbol of power.

The medallion, bro.

Look at me looking all good. I'm about to smoke some shit up in this

motherfucker. Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Okay, girls.

What happened to the delivery dude?

He's right there on the floor.

Come on now, girls.

Show him what you're working with. Help! I'm a fucking doobie!

He's tiny!

Help me!

I'm a fucking doobie!

Help!

Okay, girls. Bring him over here.

I'm gonna smoke this little bitch alive.

I like the way you roll, baby.

That's what I'm talking about right here.

Why you screaming, punk ass?

Huh? Help me. Help. Ain't nobody gonna help you now.

He's gonna light me up. I'm gonna light your ass up.

Ah, nothing.

I'm gonna take and shove you in my mouth, heifer. What? What you doing,

Priscilla, queen of the desert?

Huh? Help me. I'm a fucking doobie.

Rabbit, are you all right?

I'm all right.

I'm a doobie.

Hey,

shut up.

What the hell is going on over here? Wait a minute. What is that?

Boy, you better give me my necklace back. Don't you touch that necklace. You

know how much money I spent on that shit. You better not. Boy, I...

I believe we did it.

No shit?

Monkey.

Welcome back.

You think it's gone for good?

He better be. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Damn, girl, that was something else.

That was one hell of a trip, dudes.

How what?

I guess it's time for us to go home.

I'm with the professor.

Ciao. Lead the way.

I think I'm going to stick around for a while, guys.

I mean, if it's okay, V.

Yeah.

Could use some help transporting the marijuana back to the state.

Those bigwigs at the pharmaceutical companies won't know what hit them. Are

sure your grandfather won't try and stop you?

If he does, I'll put him back in a wheelchair.

Ooh, nice.

Bye. Good luck. We're out, dude.

I'm going to try to catch these seeds before I go back. Catch you soon, son.

Bye, homies. Good luck.

Take care, Al.

Oh, no.

I don't think it worked. I'm getting excited again.

That's all you, baby.

All you.

That's what I'm talking about.

Let's go.

Hey, wait.

Where you guys going?

Hey, you leaving me here by myself?

Wait a minute. Don't you walk away from me.

Don't leave me here. It's nasty out here.

I have to admit, that was quite an adventure.

One I care not to repeat.

It was monkey.

There's no question about that.

So, are you going to be keeping the apartment until Larnell returns?

You know I'd like to, bro. I really would.

I'm just happy I got my job back at Floppy Bird, man.

You know what I'm thinking?

It's probably about time the old Bach got a little responsibility.

Yes, well, taking the first step is always the most difficult.

I'll get it.

Who are you, lady?

Dude, monkey man, loser, it's me.

Dude, where's Brett?

He'll be right out.

Hey, Brett!

Luan! Here.

Hey, Lou.

Hey.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I can finally put my arms around you.

It's not bad, huh?

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God. You are so hot. But you and I are going to have a little chat first.

But the way you treated me when I was a total fat ass, you were not very

supportive and pretty nasty shit. Okay,

dude, I totally don't even know how to deal with that kind of stuff, and I

totally didn't mean it at all. I mean... Well, maybe so, but I think you're

going to have to make it up to me.

Okay. I'll do anything you want.

Anything, anything.

Well, I got a few ideas.

The knocking must signify the arrival of yet another character.

Rabbit?

Yes, indeed, my friends. It's yours truly.

You're a preacher now.

Indeed I am.

After that experience down in the heart of darkness, it changed me.

I made a vow that if I made it out alive, I would change my way.

So no more deliveries?

I'm only delivering souls now, brother.

Only soul.

Ooh.

Don't mind if I do.

Hey, where you going?

This motherfucker ain't over yet.

No, there's a whole nother story that needs to be told.

What? You asking who I am?

Bitch, didn't you watch the goddamn movie?

I'm King Bomb, baby.

Oh yeah, now that you figured that shit out, sit your ass down and listen up.

Because I'm going to tell you a little story.

Oh, you thought I was destroyed.

Hell motherfucking no, bitch.

That evil ass bitch, Evie.

The evil mom.

That stank bitch, conch coos, white vagina juice having whore ain't got shit

do with me.

But that's alright.

Just don't tell her I said that.

I ain't scared of that bitch, no.

Cause I'll fuck her up.

She just don't need to know. Because all I'm worried about right now is you.

And me.

Now sit your ass down in that knockoff dress and listen up to what I got to

Oh, what's that sound?

Oh, you like that sound, don't you?

That's my heart beating.

My heart beating fast for you. Because I need a lot of blood to get this big ass

dick up.

That's right.

Listen to all that heart beating blood.

Flushing through the veins.

That's right.

Oh, there it is.

Well, goddamn, look at the size of your mouth.

You like a goddamn Reese's Toothbrush commercial, ain't you? Just pull your

all the way goddamn back and I'll fuck the hell out of you.

Oh.

That's right.

Where you putting your finger?

Don't put your finger there.

Wait, wait. No, no, no. Keep it right there. Keep it right there. I said keep

right there.

Now wiggle it.

Just a little bit.

That's right.

At the groove.

Mm -hmm.

Oh.

Now I know what that boy like.

But just a finger. I don't want nothing else up his ass.

Your finger, baby.

Your cute little manicured finger.

You know the one that came in red and came out.

I don't need to say.

Lick it.

Mm -hmm.

Tastes like candy, don't it?

All

right,

I'm through with you. Move over.

What's your name?

Ooh, I like that.

Lolly.

Well, Lolly, I got something I need to pop, bitch. Come on.

Wait a minute. Hold on. What you doing?

Oh, don't go up there.

Don't go up there.

Oh, go up there. Go up there. Go on.

Oh, put it all the way in.

Bitch, you got some talent. I like that.

Now pull it out.

Mm -hmm.

It's not like Oklahoma, don't it?

You know what I'm talking about.

Oh, look at you.

I like it when you rub it against your top lip.

Yeah, that's right.

Come on, rub it.

Yeah.

Drives you crazy, don't it?

Wait, who's that over there?

That's your friend.

Oh, I like that.

Hear that?

That's my heart beating because there's nothing better than one and two.

Or three.

Or four.

Because when you got 12, bitch, you can take them all alone. So get your goddamn

friends in here and help me out a little bit.

Takika!

Lock the goddamn door, because we about to have a motherfucking party up in this

bitch.

All right, everybody.

See that over there?

That's Takika.

That's the tedious swinging bitch I got.

Right there.

So. Anybody take your tops off and swing your titties like Tokika.

Oh, bounce them bitches up and down. Bounce them up and down. I want to see

areolas all over the goddamn place. Make them areolas twirl for a motherfucker.

That's right. God.

There you go.

Mmm.

What's that smell?

Oh, shit. That's vagina juice.

That's the breakfast of goddamn champions, ain't it?

Let me take a couple.

Tips to that, and I'll be able to run a marathon all the way up your ass.

Uh -oh, uh -oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,

a minute, wait a minute.

Fooled you, I ain't ready to come yet. Bitch, what you think, I'm a punk?