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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,166 --> 00:00:18,417 What are you playing? Harry Potter ? 2 00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,417 BOTH: Dune . 3 00:00:20,583 --> 00:00:22,750 I'm just meeting this other mom. 4 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,417 She seems like she's really on top of things. 5 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,166 Is that the asshole director from Into the Canyon? 6 00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:30,917 Do you want children? 7 00:00:30,917 --> 00:00:32,750 I finally found something I'm good at! 8 00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:34,625 I wanna do it with you! 9 00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:37,083 The door's closed for me, it's not closed for you. 10 00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:41,375 BRETT: Shit. I literally can't go anywhere. 11 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,458 JENNY: You can't go anywhere. 12 00:00:42,458 --> 00:00:44,166 I could give you that electricity. 13 00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,125 JENNY: If you wanna stay, you can stay. 14 00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:57,208 Brett: Yeah, I had a really good time too, Natalie. 15 00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:59,625 Yeah, um... 16 00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:01,834 You... 17 00:01:01,834 --> 00:01:04,000 You do want to see me again? 18 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 I... 19 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,875 Well, how bad do you want it, Natalie? 20 00:01:07,875 --> 00:01:11,125 'Cause... if you want it, you're just gonna 21 00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:12,667 have to come and get it, baby. (door opens) 22 00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:14,125 (Alex scatting) Oh! 23 00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:15,250 Oh! 24 00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,625 Lookin' good, dawg! 25 00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:19,792 (laughs) 26 00:01:21,417 --> 00:01:22,458 You okay? 27 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:26,000 Something happened. 28 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,750 Look, and to be clear, it was a total accident. 29 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,917 She was like, "Come into my bedroom." 30 00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:33,500 And I was like, "Well, of course I'm not gonna go into your bedroom." 31 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,333 And so, as I was walking down the hall, 32 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,458 I kept saying that. 33 00:01:36,458 --> 00:01:37,583 But I went in, 34 00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:39,417 and I woke up 35 00:01:39,417 --> 00:01:42,333 feeling incredibly guilty, and-- and that was there. 36 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:45,792 And then, I was like... 37 00:01:45,792 --> 00:01:48,166 "Hold on a second. 38 00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:53,083 "You... had an incredible evening with this girl"-- 39 00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:54,917 who is amazing, by the way-- 40 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,667 "and you guys were 41 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:59,959 "just light and fun, and it was natural, 42 00:01:59,959 --> 00:02:02,375 and you were joking, and kissing, and making out." 43 00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:05,500 And-- and the-- and the new body parts 44 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,708 were all over the place, and we were exploring, 45 00:02:07,708 --> 00:02:11,250 and I was, like, 14, and it was just... 46 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,625 so incredible, 47 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:14,750 and I had so much fun, 48 00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,458 and I would never tell this to anybody else 49 00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:19,041 'cause... but, like... 50 00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:21,041 it's kind of fucking me up. 51 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,250 At some point, do you think you guys are gonna talk 52 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,708 so I can stop being the translator? 53 00:02:25,708 --> 00:02:29,583 I've been trying so hard to talk to him, 54 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,500 but you know. 55 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:35,250 He's-- he's just still so angry. 56 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,583 Yeah. 57 00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:38,834 Of course he is. 58 00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:41,000 'Cause look-- look at his life right now. Mm-hmm. 59 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,458 He only has the kids half the time, he's, like, 60 00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:48,792 dorming with his best friend, doing his "Dune" puppet show, 61 00:02:48,792 --> 00:02:50,250 whatever that fucking thing is. 62 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:51,667 He's, like, in heaven. 63 00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:53,875 It's the hall pass to end all hall passes. 64 00:02:56,792 --> 00:02:58,792 I'd stay angry too if I were him. 65 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,333 This is fucking bullshit! 66 00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:07,417 Okay? What? What is? 67 00:03:07,417 --> 00:03:08,417 Do you know what it's called 68 00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:10,041 when you get pregnant after 35? 69 00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:12,208 A geriatric pregnancy. 70 00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:13,792 And I'm not kidding. 71 00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:18,583 So, I have a geriatric vagina? 72 00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:20,125 Geri-ina? 73 00:03:20,125 --> 00:03:21,625 (laughs) 74 00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:24,083 Apparently, I don't have any eggs left! 75 00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:25,875 You don't know-- The ones I have left 76 00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:28,417 are all like... (groans) Well, you-- 77 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,959 (in decrepit voice) Sonny boy, 78 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,250 come over here! Okay. 79 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,834 Don't do that outside of this sofa. 80 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:39,542 I know that I don't have the best history in terms of, 81 00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:41,333 you know, my taste in men, 82 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:43,542 but I am finally ready. 83 00:03:43,542 --> 00:03:47,291 I'm ready to find someone who's kind 84 00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:48,875 and who just wants to have kids 85 00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:51,750 and have a nice life. I know, I know. 86 00:03:52,875 --> 00:03:54,166 Like him. Oh! 87 00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:56,417 (both laugh) 88 00:03:56,417 --> 00:03:58,500 Ha! 89 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,250 It's enough to make me jump off a bridge. 90 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,375 But you do know that 91 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,417 this is not the place you should be looking. 92 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,792 What's the alternative? 93 00:04:04,792 --> 00:04:06,250 I... (phone rings) 94 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,125 What do you suggest? 95 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,000 Hey, Tracy. 96 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,250 I mean, really? This is the picture he chose? 97 00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:16,458 This is the picture you chose to send in? Nope. Today? Right now? 98 00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:18,917 I will-- I'll be there in a minute, yeah. 99 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:20,750 (sighs) What happened? 100 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:23,583 Ugh. It's so weird. What? 101 00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:24,834 No, there's just 102 00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,166 a charter school meeting at Bon Vivant. 103 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:28,458 Did you forget? 104 00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:31,375 No, I... I didn't set it up. 105 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,667 Anna: Guys, this was so great. 106 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,333 Thank you all so much. 107 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:42,792 We are really getting shit done. 108 00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:44,125 I am so excited. 109 00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:46,000 Michelle! Hi! 110 00:04:48,208 --> 00:04:49,500 How are you, sweetheart? 111 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,208 Hey, Anna. Um... Mm! 112 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,917 Where have you been? 113 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,500 What? Oh, I mean, 114 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,125 the meeting started at 8:00. 115 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,041 What meeting is this? 116 00:04:58,041 --> 00:05:00,875 The meeting about the big fundraiser and... 117 00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,667 I e-mailed you about it on Tuesday. 118 00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:04,542 No, I didn't get an e-mail. 119 00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:05,542 What? 120 00:05:14,041 --> 00:05:15,166 Excuse me. 121 00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:19,208 Oh. 122 00:05:19,208 --> 00:05:20,625 You're, like, 12. 123 00:05:20,625 --> 00:05:22,959 Anna: I'm sure it went to your spam with all the recipients. 124 00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:25,708 But you really didn't miss anything. You know, we just... 125 00:05:25,708 --> 00:05:27,041 We talked about the fundraiser, 126 00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:28,708 which I'm gonna host at my house. 127 00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:30,542 I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out, but you know what? 128 00:05:30,542 --> 00:05:31,708 If can fill you in later. 129 00:05:31,708 --> 00:05:35,041 I am off to Pilates, okay? Oh. 130 00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,917 Uh-- Mm! Oh, my gosh! 131 00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,458 Do you just bathe in coconut oil? 132 00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:39,583 You're like velvet. 133 00:05:39,583 --> 00:05:41,125 Call you. 134 00:05:46,708 --> 00:05:48,917 That's your new friend? 135 00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:50,542 Yeah. 136 00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:52,542 I sure don't like her. 137 00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:57,667 Why are you being so cagey? I'm not being cagey. 138 00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:59,625 Well, you're, like, not telling me where we're going. 139 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,000 You're not answering any of my questions. 140 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,250 I just feel-- And you're grabbing 141 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,667 onto my arm. I don't know what you're-- Okay. 142 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,750 You know how I said we needed some help with "Dune"? 143 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,250 Yes, I know we discussed this. 144 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,750 Well, I-- I think we found our guy. 145 00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:11,125 Well, I think I still wanna try to do this 146 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,750 on our own, so it's a discussion. 147 00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:16,458 I-- I know, but we're overwhelmed and we need help 148 00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:18,208 if we're ever gonna get this show on its feet. 149 00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:20,875 Why are you talking to me like a four-year-old right now? Look-- It's just-- 150 00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:22,959 Will you promise me you'll have an open mind? 151 00:06:22,959 --> 00:06:26,041 Yes, Daddy. I'll have an open mind. Because people can change. 152 00:06:26,041 --> 00:06:27,834 You know that, right? 153 00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:29,959 Alex, yes. I know... 154 00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:31,291 What? 155 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,291 Oh, fuck. Are you... 156 00:06:34,291 --> 00:06:35,250 No. 157 00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:36,542 People do not change that much. 158 00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:38,041 That is not possible. 159 00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:39,250 Brett, he's in AA now. 160 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,291 He was an alcoholic then. 161 00:06:41,291 --> 00:06:42,250 So what? 162 00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:43,708 We're, like, his amends or something? 163 00:06:43,708 --> 00:06:45,000 I don't want to be a project for-- 164 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,291 Well, he knows he treated you like shit, 165 00:06:46,291 --> 00:06:47,875 so technically, you are a part of his amends, 166 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,959 but he just happens to be a huge "Dune" fan, 167 00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:51,291 and he's great with visuals, man. 168 00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:52,750 So, this is win-win. 169 00:06:58,458 --> 00:07:01,125 ♪ ♪ 170 00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:14,333 ♪ She said I left her, baby ♪ 171 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,708 ♪ Tell her that I love her ♪ 172 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,000 ♪ It's a million in one ♪ 173 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,875 ♪ On this squeeze of so much ♪ 174 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,375 ♪ Said I am crying ♪ 175 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:35,542 ♪ I am weeping ♪ 176 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:39,041 ♪ 'Cause my baby has gone ♪ 177 00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:42,583 ♪ My baby is gone ♪ 178 00:07:45,291 --> 00:07:47,917 Okay, I-- I look a little bit different 179 00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:48,917 than my profile pic. 180 00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:51,166 Yeah. Yeah. (chuckles) 181 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,333 Or a lot different. Uh, yeah. 182 00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:56,166 Okay, I get it. Um, believe it or not, 183 00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:58,625 some people in our society are 184 00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,333 really focused on looks. 185 00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:02,708 So, you know, I chose 186 00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:05,250 an image that wasn't so, you know, specific. 187 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,625 But it's-- I'm... 188 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:09,250 Is it actually you? 189 00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:10,708 Yes, it's me. 190 00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,333 It's just some people, if they knew 191 00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:14,417 exactly what I looked like, they wouldn't even show up, 192 00:08:14,417 --> 00:08:16,500 so adjustments... 193 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,417 need to be made. 194 00:08:18,417 --> 00:08:20,000 You basically lie? 195 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:24,208 It's not lie. It's... Photoshop. 196 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,417 I mean, okay. 197 00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:30,250 So you like to travel? 198 00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:31,625 I... 199 00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:34,041 You're assuming that... 200 00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:37,083 I wanna date somebody who starts off 201 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,667 the relationship with a lie. 202 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,125 Where was your picture taken? 203 00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:41,583 What? 204 00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:43,959 Your profile pic. Where was that one taken? 205 00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:45,542 I was at a Coldplay concert. Yeah? 206 00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:47,083 Yeah. Yeah? Which tour? 207 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:50,583 Um, I think it was Parachutes. Parachutes. 208 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:51,542 2001. 209 00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:53,500 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 210 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,708 What's it now? 211 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,625 Okay. No, no. 212 00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:58,917 I look like my picture. 213 00:08:58,917 --> 00:09:00,750 I chose a picture... Yeah-- 214 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,041 that actually resembles what I look like. But-- 215 00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:07,166 Resembles is the-- is the perfect word for that. Yeah, there's-- 216 00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:10,250 I'm sorry. 217 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,834 I just-- Clearly this is... Okay. All right. 218 00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:15,458 Look, I guess we're done here. 219 00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:17,041 Thanks for meeting me. 220 00:09:17,041 --> 00:09:18,208 Yeah. 221 00:09:18,208 --> 00:09:20,458 But look, just let me 222 00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:21,959 give you a piece of advice. 223 00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:23,208 You're obviously new to this. 224 00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:27,333 It is fucking brutal out here. 225 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,750 I mean, everyone's miserable. 226 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:31,875 Everyone is terrified 227 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,000 and everyone's a little bit Photoshopped, 228 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,458 and if you bring the kind of judgment into this 229 00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:38,291 that you've been throwing my way tonight, 230 00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:41,542 man, you're entering a world of pain. 231 00:09:41,542 --> 00:09:44,125 Who the fuck do you think you are 232 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,917 talking to me like that? (sighs) 233 00:09:45,917 --> 00:09:48,041 Let me break it down for you. 234 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:50,041 You're a nerd, okay? 235 00:09:50,041 --> 00:09:51,625 That's the bottom line. 236 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,500 And frankly, you are not good-looking enough 237 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,166 to be this much of a dick. 238 00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:57,917 And you are not hot enough 239 00:09:57,917 --> 00:09:59,625 anymore... 240 00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:02,792 to be this much of a bitch. 241 00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:08,083 Alex: Ah, I see. 242 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:09,375 (buzzing, whirring) 243 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,458 I see this moon that holds the answers. 244 00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:14,333 But what? 245 00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:17,834 In my dreams, they call me 246 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:21,583 by a new name, but I do not know why. ♪ ♪ 247 00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:25,542 Listen... inside. 248 00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:29,125 The spice is everywhere. 249 00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:30,542 (buzzing, whirring) 250 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,166 Oh, okay. Okay. 251 00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:34,917 Just out of curiosity, 252 00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:37,917 how much of this monologue are you guys planning 253 00:10:37,917 --> 00:10:40,083 to include in the-- in the final piece? 254 00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:43,125 Um... uh, all of it. 255 00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:44,875 Yeah, I mean, there's an act break right after it, 256 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,875 so I feel like it's... How many acts? 257 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,041 Both: Five. 258 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:51,875 Okay. 259 00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:55,667 I-yi-yi-yi-yi 260 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,208 yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi... 261 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,792 It's gonna be too long. 262 00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:07,083 Oh. Well, part of the point 263 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,375 of this is to play it out real time. 264 00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:11,250 We're like a tone poem as opposed to sort of caving 265 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,542 to the frenetic MTV pacing-- 266 00:11:12,542 --> 00:11:15,250 Brad. Brad-- And it needs focus! 267 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:18,250 But I love it. 268 00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:22,583 You do? 269 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,792 It's fucking great. 270 00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:27,625 Yeah? Yes! 271 00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:31,542 It is so DIY and unique. 272 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:33,500 Cool. Yeah. Ha! 273 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,583 Uh... sand. 274 00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:36,542 Sand? 275 00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:39,041 We're gonna need a whole bunch of sand. 276 00:11:39,041 --> 00:11:40,083 I don't love sand. 277 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,917 Dudley: We're gonna get a huge space, 278 00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,708 and we're gonna fill the fucker with sand! 279 00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:45,583 And then, the sandworms 280 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,291 will come out and they will sail 281 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:48,667 through the space! 282 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:52,458 Alex, what if we truncated the monologue? Okay? 283 00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:55,166 And just when you're about to start, 284 00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:56,500 it all of a sudden comes to a stop 285 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,708 because there's a sandworm that comes in and attacks. 286 00:11:58,708 --> 00:11:59,750 All right? 287 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,708 And then out of the blue, 288 00:12:01,708 --> 00:12:04,458 there's a huge fucking lighting shift! 289 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:05,959 (lights click off) 290 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,458 Uh... what... I mean, how are we gonna see? 291 00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:10,291 Dudley: Plug those in right there. Plug those in. 292 00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:11,458 Dude... Alex: These ones? 293 00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:13,125 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 294 00:12:13,125 --> 00:12:15,083 Yeah! 295 00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:16,458 Brett: That's for-- that's for later 296 00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:18,166 when-- in, like, the third act though. It's-- 297 00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:20,625 It's okay, it's okay. Okay. Brett, give me a drumbeat. 298 00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:21,875 O-- okay. (drumming) 299 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,458 Dudley: That's right. 300 00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:25,542 Keep it coming. Keep it coming. 301 00:12:25,542 --> 00:12:27,166 And, Paul... Yeah? 302 00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:28,417 what are you gonna do 303 00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:30,625 when the sandworm attacks, man?! 304 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:31,708 (drum beating) 305 00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,875 You gonna give me that mind control? 306 00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:36,208 Yeah! You're gonna give me that mind control?! 307 00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:38,458 Uh-huh. Now get rid of the puppet. 308 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,500 I can't get rid of the puppet. 309 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,500 Come on, Alex. You are the star, man, 310 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,625 not that fucking puppet! No. The puppet's an extension of me. 311 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:46,500 Get rid of the puppet, man! I think you should get rid of the puppet, Alex. 312 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,500 Just do it. 313 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,500 (buzzing, whirring) 314 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,875 (inhales deeply) Yeah. Do it. 315 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,041 Give me those eyes. 316 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,542 Yeah! 317 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,834 Okay, Pappas! I warned you 318 00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:03,291 about charging your buddy's car 319 00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:06,166 and about this loud, weirdo shit going on in here! 320 00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:07,834 Now you're out! 321 00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:16,208 What did he just say? 322 00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:18,333 (party music plays) 323 00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:21,041 It's like a fuckin' airport. 324 00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:22,959 All right, let me look at you. 325 00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:24,333 Okay. 326 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:26,792 Let's break out the big guns. Oh, Tina. No. 327 00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:29,041 Yeah. I don't wanna look, like... chesty. 328 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,417 You need to prove to everybody that you are a leader 329 00:13:31,417 --> 00:13:33,625 and you can get this done. 330 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,959 Th-- this way? Yes. 331 00:13:35,959 --> 00:13:39,041 Well, you know, I'm not in competition with Anna. 332 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:41,875 Yeah, but she's in competition with you. 333 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,166 Michelle! 334 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,250 Hi, beautiful. 335 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,125 Wow. 336 00:13:57,125 --> 00:14:00,041 You look so beautiful. Oh, hi. 337 00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:02,542 Oh, this is my sister, Tina. 338 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:03,500 Tina. Hi. 339 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,041 Oh, my goodness. Hello. Muah! Oh! 340 00:14:06,041 --> 00:14:07,417 So good to see you. You too. 341 00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:09,792 Anna: So it's all happening. Look at all the people. 342 00:14:09,792 --> 00:14:10,917 It's great. Michelle: Yeah. 343 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,917 There's so many. Um... 344 00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:15,083 who are all these people? 345 00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:18,041 Oh, it's a lot of Ben's friends from work, 346 00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:20,875 some of my friends, a lot of Westside money. It's really great. 347 00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:23,208 I think even if we get a handful of them, 348 00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:25,125 we're, like, halfway to our goal. 349 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,250 It's gonna be amazing. 350 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,583 So, you guys come on in. Make yourselves at home. 351 00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:30,250 I'm gonna go do my thing. 352 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,250 Tina, it's so nice to meet you. You too! 353 00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:35,417 Oh, God. What the fuck is that, a wedding dress? 354 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,458 Looks like it. 355 00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:41,250 Okay, this is a charter school party. I know. 356 00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,667 This is, like, so rich. 357 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:44,959 You want a drink? 358 00:14:44,959 --> 00:14:46,375 Yes. Okay. 359 00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,125 Yes. Meet you back here. 360 00:14:48,125 --> 00:14:50,917 Anna: Oh, boy. Do you just bathe in coconut oil? 361 00:14:50,917 --> 00:14:52,708 Your skin is like velvet. 362 00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:54,625 Mm! Good to see you, honey. 363 00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,333 Guys, you made it. 364 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,708 I can't believe it. 365 00:14:57,708 --> 00:15:00,417 (phone vibrates) 366 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:02,834 Hello? 367 00:15:03,959 --> 00:15:06,667 What up, Big C? 368 00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:09,417 (chuckles) 369 00:15:09,417 --> 00:15:11,625 Yeah, man. 370 00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,417 So, uh, what's on your mind? 371 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:16,750 Big C: How do you feel about a million dollars? 372 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:19,667 Are you kidding me? 373 00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:22,083 I never kid about money, bitch! 374 00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:25,333 Jesus Christ! You're on the show, motherfucker! 375 00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:26,875 Offer just went to your agent. 376 00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:27,917 Go buy a car, 377 00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:29,500 go buy a fuckin' boat, 378 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,083 sink the boat, buy a new boat! 379 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,625 Let's do it! Pappas! (gasps) 380 00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,000 (door opens) 381 00:15:39,208 --> 00:15:41,250 What's going on? 382 00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:43,125 Oh, it's just work stuff. 383 00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:50,917 You know, you can tell me 384 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:53,166 about work. You don't have to, like... 385 00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:56,000 hide and be ashamed. 386 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,917 I'm not ashamed. Well, you, like, 387 00:15:57,917 --> 00:16:00,083 never take the calls in front of me. 388 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:01,500 Like, somebody calls and you, like, 389 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,166 run down the hall or something. 390 00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:04,458 It just feels-- Okay. 391 00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:07,458 Um, that was, um, Big C. 392 00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:10,875 He offered me a full-time job on the show... 393 00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:12,542 for two years... 394 00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:15,708 for huge money. 395 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,458 I-- I don't know what I'm gonna do about it, so... 396 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:19,750 Whoa. 397 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:22,708 Right. And it's that look that you're giving me 398 00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:24,500 right now... 399 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,708 which is the reason why 400 00:16:25,708 --> 00:16:28,291 I can't tell you this stuff 'cause if for one second 401 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:31,041 I entertain doing anything other than being in our little 402 00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:32,708 playpen of "Dune," 403 00:16:32,708 --> 00:16:34,834 you look at me like I'm a sell-out, man! Dude, that-- 404 00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:36,125 that's on you, okay? 405 00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:40,417 Honestly, if you want to fuckin' be a Russian vampire, 406 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,166 like, go be a Russian vampire. It's a somnambulist. 407 00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:45,083 Well, if you want to waste your time and your life 408 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:46,792 playing that shit, then fine. I'm not trying to 409 00:16:46,792 --> 00:16:48,041 waste my time, man. 410 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,625 What are you talking about? 411 00:16:49,625 --> 00:16:51,792 Just because you for the moment 412 00:16:51,792 --> 00:16:53,417 have taken a vacation 413 00:16:53,417 --> 00:16:55,583 in fairy land from your life 414 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:56,875 and, you know, you're living 415 00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:59,959 inside of Frank Herbert's imagination, and you hooked up 416 00:16:59,959 --> 00:17:02,333 with a random girl from Uber, 417 00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:04,542 like, I'm not doing it wrong 418 00:17:04,542 --> 00:17:06,959 just because I'm not right there with you, you know? 419 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,125 So... 420 00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:11,917 Uh... 421 00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:17,750 Yeah... 422 00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:20,959 No. Okay, okay. Uh... 423 00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:27,458 Tina: They're all married. 424 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:29,959 It's fuckin' hopeless. 425 00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:32,959 Might as well get a sperm donor right now. 426 00:17:32,959 --> 00:17:34,792 Might get some money for the school. 427 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:35,959 Oh, we're all set. Of course. 428 00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:37,708 We're good. We're gonna be fine. Yeah. 429 00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,333 I need to find that e-mail. 430 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,792 What e-mail? 431 00:17:41,792 --> 00:17:43,458 Yeah. 432 00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:47,000 Can you create a distraction? 433 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,583 What? 434 00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:49,959 I just... 435 00:17:49,959 --> 00:17:52,959 I need to get up those stairs without anyone seeing me. 436 00:17:52,959 --> 00:17:55,458 Please? You're good at, like, getting people's attention. 437 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,291 Can you just, like, do a thing? 438 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:01,083 You want me to do a thing? 439 00:18:01,083 --> 00:18:02,625 Yeah. 440 00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:20,166 Excuse me! 441 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,500 Excuse me! 442 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,417 Over here, everyone! 443 00:18:23,417 --> 00:18:24,834 I'd just like to make a toast 444 00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:27,583 to our beautiful hostess, Anna. 445 00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:30,667 Anna, this party is off the hook. 446 00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:32,375 We are all so grateful. 447 00:18:32,375 --> 00:18:34,166 And everybody over here, 448 00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:35,583 let's just take one minute 449 00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:37,667 to look over here. 450 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,834 Attention over here so we can celebrate 451 00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:41,708 this wonderful woman. 452 00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:42,792 This is the kind of woman 453 00:18:42,792 --> 00:18:44,834 who comes in and takes charge... 454 00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,250 whether you want her to or not, 455 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,458 and that is what we need for our schools, right, everybody? 456 00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:53,417 And I don't know about you, but I am so inspired 457 00:18:53,417 --> 00:18:55,583 tonight, and in fact, 458 00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:58,458 I am gonna sing a song about it... 459 00:18:58,458 --> 00:19:00,041 because... 460 00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:02,583 that's how inspired I am. 461 00:19:02,583 --> 00:19:05,333 So... here it goes. 462 00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:09,458 ♪ I'm gonna make a change ♪ 463 00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:13,708 ♪ For once in my life ♪ 464 00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:16,875 ♪ It's gonna feel real good ♪ 465 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:18,458 ♪ It's gonna make a difference ♪ 466 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:23,166 ♪ It's gonna make it right ♪ 467 00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:24,667 (laughs) 468 00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,458 (mumbles) 469 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:29,583 ♪ And the wind that blows ♪ 470 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,083 Mich? 471 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:23,500 What the fuck are you doing? 472 00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:26,834 (whispers) Oh, my God! 473 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:29,792 You almost gave me a heart attack. Why are you on the floor? 474 00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:32,667 Come help me look up this e-mail. 475 00:20:35,708 --> 00:20:37,250 Okay... 476 00:20:38,291 --> 00:20:40,125 Oh, I got it. I got it. 477 00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:43,834 Michelle: Oh, my God. 478 00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,291 This bitch. Fucking cunt. 479 00:20:48,291 --> 00:20:51,458 Bitch deliberately left me off. She did. 480 00:20:56,792 --> 00:20:59,500 ♪ Feel so good ♪ 481 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,667 Hi there. 482 00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:04,875 I hear that you called for an UberX-tremely sexy! 483 00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:07,166 Um, hey, Brett. 484 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,667 You, um... 485 00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:13,500 You can't just, like, show up at my house like this. 486 00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,834 Oh, shit. 487 00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:17,125 Um... fuck. I'm sorry. I-- 488 00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:18,834 I'm sorry. It's just that, um, 489 00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:21,041 you know, I'm, like, I'm an independent woman... Right. 490 00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:23,417 I get it. I get it. And I could have... 491 00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:27,166 any number of things going on in my apartment. 492 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:30,792 Are you fucking with me right now? Yes! 493 00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:32,625 What the-- I'm fucking with you. 494 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,750 I thought you were boning dudes in here! What's-- Jesus! Get in here please! 495 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:36,959 Ki-ya! (laughs) 496 00:21:36,959 --> 00:21:38,959 Sorry. That just-- I don't know why I did that. 497 00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:40,417 You know what? I brought you a gift. 498 00:21:40,417 --> 00:21:42,291 Oh? It's an "I'm sorry" gift 499 00:21:42,291 --> 00:21:44,625 for karate chopping you. Well, you're... thinking ahead. 500 00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:46,166 This is what I-- this is what-- I like that. 501 00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:48,041 I knew I was gonna do something stupid when I got here, 502 00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:50,041 so I was like, "I'm gonna bring you a gift." Foresight. 503 00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:51,250 Mm-hmm. 504 00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:53,542 No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. 505 00:21:53,542 --> 00:21:57,583 Did you make me a-- a Just the Rain shirt? 506 00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:59,083 I will say it's one of a kind. 507 00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:01,041 This is beautiful. This one's for me. 508 00:22:01,041 --> 00:22:02,875 Oh... 509 00:22:02,875 --> 00:22:04,208 Yeah. 510 00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:06,875 Look at him! Sometimes you gotta break up with the band 511 00:22:06,875 --> 00:22:08,417 if you want to be free. Yes. 512 00:22:08,417 --> 00:22:10,083 If you want to fly. Yes. 513 00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:12,542 But I feel like to make it complete, we have to 514 00:22:12,542 --> 00:22:14,041 try them on though. 515 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,959 Um, I'm interested in seeing that shirt on you for sure. Well, um... 516 00:22:16,959 --> 00:22:19,458 I'm not wearing a bra currently. 517 00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:21,291 Hm. 518 00:22:21,291 --> 00:22:23,417 I'm in if you're in. 519 00:22:25,625 --> 00:22:27,917 Anna: It was a total nightmare. 520 00:22:27,917 --> 00:22:30,083 All day long he wouldn't eat his dinner. 521 00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:31,583 He's, like, throwing potatoes at me. 522 00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:32,917 And at, like, 9:30 at night, 523 00:22:32,917 --> 00:22:34,959 He's asleep with a crown on his head. 524 00:22:34,959 --> 00:22:36,583 Oh, that is so precious. Excuse me. 525 00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:38,834 Hey! Hey! Can I please talk to you for a minute? 526 00:22:38,834 --> 00:22:41,041 Of course, yeah. What's going on? 527 00:22:41,041 --> 00:22:44,917 Uh, can it be alone? 528 00:22:44,917 --> 00:22:46,750 Anna: You know what? I will find you ladies later. 529 00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:48,500 Have so much fun, okay? 530 00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,750 What's going on, Michelle? 531 00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:52,875 What are you doing? 532 00:22:52,875 --> 00:22:55,750 Throwing an awesome party. What are you doing? 533 00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:57,792 Why are you trying to push me out? 534 00:22:57,792 --> 00:22:59,917 What are you talking about, Michelle? 535 00:22:59,917 --> 00:23:02,792 Anna, you have been calling meetings without me. 536 00:23:02,792 --> 00:23:05,125 No, I haven't. 537 00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:06,792 Yes, you have. 538 00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:08,750 No. Stop lying! 539 00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:10,708 What? Stop lying. 540 00:23:10,708 --> 00:23:11,959 Stop lying. 541 00:23:11,959 --> 00:23:13,917 You've been calling meetings without me. No, I haven't. 542 00:23:13,917 --> 00:23:15,333 I know that you have. What? 543 00:23:15,333 --> 00:23:18,375 I-- I looked at your e-mail account, okay? 544 00:23:18,375 --> 00:23:20,208 So, I know that you have. 545 00:23:20,208 --> 00:23:21,792 I'm sorry? 546 00:23:21,792 --> 00:23:22,834 You... 547 00:23:22,834 --> 00:23:25,291 I-- Tracy told me. 548 00:23:25,291 --> 00:23:28,458 So, I looked at your computer. 549 00:23:29,959 --> 00:23:31,166 Anna, I am... 550 00:23:31,166 --> 00:23:33,542 really grateful for all the help that you've given me, 551 00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:37,458 but please know that I have built the school 552 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,125 from the ground up. 553 00:23:39,125 --> 00:23:41,166 I have put my whole heart into this, 554 00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:44,166 and this crazy fundraiser 555 00:23:44,166 --> 00:23:46,625 with super-rich people is just not 556 00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:49,125 what I want to be doing! 557 00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:54,792 Are you done? 558 00:23:54,792 --> 00:23:56,917 Uh, yes. 559 00:23:56,917 --> 00:23:59,667 Because from where I stand, Michelle, 560 00:23:59,667 --> 00:24:03,500 you don't seem to be doing anything. 561 00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:05,875 Without me, none of this 562 00:24:05,875 --> 00:24:07,000 would be happening. 563 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,166 So, yeah, Michelle, 564 00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:09,959 I'm taking a little bit of initiative, 565 00:24:09,959 --> 00:24:11,458 and I would like a fucking thank you 566 00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:14,000 for saving your ass! This is my school. 567 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,500 It's my project, okay? 568 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:18,458 You don't get to just come in and take it. Are you kidding me? 569 00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,708 Without me, you don't have a fucking school, 570 00:24:20,708 --> 00:24:23,458 and these rich people, these are the people 571 00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:26,125 who by the end of the night will have our entire school 572 00:24:26,125 --> 00:24:28,875 funded, and right now, you are getting in the way, 573 00:24:28,875 --> 00:24:31,750 and that is why I don't invite you to meetings. 574 00:24:31,750 --> 00:24:33,417 I think you are completely 575 00:24:33,417 --> 00:24:36,542 ineffective, I think you're crazy incomp-- 576 00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:37,542 No! 577 00:24:39,583 --> 00:24:41,041 Yeah! 578 00:24:41,041 --> 00:24:42,667 Ha! 579 00:24:44,291 --> 00:24:45,500 Oh, my-- 580 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,667 (Tina cackles) 581 00:24:52,166 --> 00:24:53,375 ♪ I thought I'd learn ♪ 582 00:24:53,375 --> 00:24:56,041 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 583 00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:57,208 ♪ I thought he'd learn ♪ 584 00:24:57,208 --> 00:24:59,083 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 585 00:24:59,083 --> 00:25:00,708 ♪ I thought you'd give me ♪ 586 00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,917 ♪ The right advice ♪ 587 00:25:02,917 --> 00:25:04,750 ♪ I thought he'd let me in ♪ 588 00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:07,625 ♪ For one last time ♪ 589 00:25:21,166 --> 00:25:22,959 ♪ The planks rattle around ♪ 590 00:25:22,959 --> 00:25:24,875 ♪ Like an old-timey movie ♪ 591 00:25:24,875 --> 00:25:26,500 ♪ In tube-top and shorts ♪ 592 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:28,959 ♪ That Vice called "pull-me-down"♪ 593 00:25:28,959 --> 00:25:30,083 ♪ And he's ignoring me ♪ 594 00:25:30,083 --> 00:25:32,041 ♪ Like it's 2001 ♪ 595 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,417 ♪ Why keep time traveling ♪ 596 00:25:37,417 --> 00:25:39,250 ♪ If it doesn't get better ♪ 597 00:25:39,250 --> 00:25:42,542 ♪ On the second time around? ♪ 598 00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,542 ♪ Why keep time traveling ♪ 599 00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:46,125 ♪ If it doesn't get better ♪ 600 00:25:46,125 --> 00:25:49,458 ♪ On the second time around? ♪ 601 00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:50,583 ♪ I thought I'd learn ♪ 602 00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:52,792 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 603 00:25:52,792 --> 00:25:54,041 ♪ I thought he'd learn ♪ 604 00:25:54,041 --> 00:25:56,041 ♪ From my mistakes ♪ 605 00:25:56,041 --> 00:25:57,875 ♪ I thought you'd give me ♪ 606 00:25:57,875 --> 00:25:59,625 ♪ The right advice ♪ 607 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:01,792 ♪ I thought he'd let me in ♪ 608 00:26:01,792 --> 00:26:04,834 ♪ For one last time ♪ 42461

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