All language subtitles for gua-magnumpi.1980.s01e04-1080p

You can't just
turn five helplessly
stranded little girls

out into the night.

Bah, Humbug.

Higgins.

(ALARM RINGING)

Don't touch it.
There's a very sensitive
alarm.

(GASPS)

(DOG BARKING)

There is just no limit
to their imaginations.

There's a girl here
to see you.

If she's under 16,
| don't want to know.

Magnum!

We gave you
some really
rotten leads.

If you'd given him
a decent lead,

he'd have blown it
higher than
a Chinese firecracker.

Come on, buddy.
This is serious.

Look, | said
they ain't here.
But if they do come in,

I'll be sure to tell 'em
you had to leave.

Where did we
park the car?

| don't know!
I'm following you!

Higgins and |
do this all the time.
It's sort of a game.

A game?
My girls are kidnapped!
They might die!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Five little girls
are going to die unless
| deliver that Gauguin.

Who is he?
MAGNUM: Ask T.C.

Oh, no.
Don't ask me nothing.

| can explain
this whole misunderstanding.

No, you can't.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

MAGNUM: Ah!

(DOGS BARKING)

MAGNUM: (SCREAMING) Higgins!

(DOGS BARKING)

Higgins! Higgins!

Higgins!

Higgins!

(BARKING CONTINUES)

Higgins!

What are they doing
in the wine cellar?

Obviously
protecting the wine
from intruders.

| am not an intruder.
| am a guest.

Guests eventually leave.

Well, until | do
I'd appreciate it...

You will sample
the vintages | select.

October?

Higgins? The wine cellar
is one of the few places
left on the estate,

besides the bathroom
that | can go
without fear of my life.

An oversight on my part
now rectified by my upgraded
level of security.

Upgraded level of security
to keep me out
of the wine cellar?

Well, there is Mr. Masters’
latest acquisition.

What? The Christmas tree?

Higgins, that's a Gauguin.

Yes.

Perhaps there's hope for you,
after all.

(PHONE BEEPS)

What's it worth?

Two million.

Dollars or pounds?

Marks.

Yes, Mr. Masters.

Uh. This is Chan's Laundry.
ls Mr. Magnum there please?

Mr. Masters’ private number
is not to be given out
to tradesmen.

Hello?
Thomas, it's Rick.

If Higgins finds out
| got this number,
he's going to freak out.

| told him
| was your laundry man.

My what?

Never mind.
Just listen.

A female, called on your line
and she wants to hire you.

No, no. That's heavy starch
on the shirts
and light on the shorts.

That's really cute.

Now, look. Be at
the State Capitol building
by 3:00

and she'll approach you.

Oh... Now, wait.

(LINE DISCONNECTS)

You starch
your undershorts?

Doesn't everybody?

MAGNUM:
| pride myself on being able
to pick out clients.

But this time,
| was stumped.

All | saw were
camera-loaded tourists

taking dozens of pictures
of the same thing.

(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Hi!

You with
that group over there?

It's really funny, you know?
They must have taken
50 pictures of that statue.

Fifty pictures...

Hi.

This is only the second time
I've been here.

Are you girls
waiting for someone?

Thomas Magnum?
Yeah.

Good. We were afraid
you might not show.

You're the ones
who want to hire
a private investigator?

Look, if you're worried
about getting paid
for this gig, it's okay.

We've taken care
of all that.

LESLI: He'll never
be able to do it.

Do what?

Find her.
Find who?

This is a drag.
No, wait. Ah...

I... | just don't know
what you're talking about.

We're here from Vermont
for the holidays.

And we lost
our teacher.

You lost your teacher?

| told you
he'd never be able
to do it.

I'd hate for the younger ones
to know about this.

They're so impressionable,
you know?

Yeah, right.

Our teacher is a real...
(SIGHS)

Well, she kind of
falls in love easy.

It doesn't take her long
to choose from the menu,
if you get my drift.

Oh, | get your drift.

Oh, quit whispering, Nancy.
We all know
what you're talking about.

Miss Booton got the hots
for some beach bum

and split with him
for an overnighter.

Lesli!

You're telling me
your teacher
who brought you here

went off with some
stranger and left you
little kids stranded?

Not really.
She said she'd be back
tomorrow night.

But our headmaster phoned.

And he's coming in
tomorrow morning at nine
to spend Christmas with us.

We have to find her
before he gets here.

Or she'll be in big trouble.

Well, she should be
in big trouble!

She shouldn't be punished
for her passion.

We'll stay with you
till you find Miss Booton.

Stay with me?

We checked out
of our hotel.

We're paying you
with the deposit refund.

Yeah, but | didn't...
| didn't even decide
to take the case, yet.

Come on, Nancy.
He won't be able
to do it.

Well, you don't even know
where your teacher went!

| mean, it could take days!

I'd like to
help you guys out,
but | don't know that...

Well...

It is Christmas.

Never.

This estate is for
Robin Masters’ guests.

Not your...clients.

Higgins,
it's just for tonight.

| promise
I'll have them out
in the morning

as soon as
| find their teacher.

No.

Come on, Higgins.
It's the holidays.

It's a time
for giving and sharing.
Right, kids?

You can't just turn
five helplessly
stranded little girls

out into the night.

"Bah, humbug."

Higgins.

The wine cellar.

The wine cellar?

| don't want you in it.

Well, October
wasn't my favorite
vintage anyway.

And | want them out of here
first thing in the morning.

Of course.

GIRLS:
All right,
all right!

Can | still use
the kitchen?

For now.

Thank you very much.
You're quite welcome.

ls Magnum married,
Huggins?

It's Higgins.

MAGNUM: All / had for clues
was a lady's overnight case,

a couple of phone numbers
the girls had found
in her room,

and a very rough description
of the guy she went off with.

| had a long night
ahead of me.

But then, so did Higgins.

As long
as you're staying here

there are certain rules
and regulations to obey.

First you will be restricted
to the second floor
guest quarters.

Unless, of course,
you need to use
the lavatory facilities.

Those are located
at the end of the hall.

Higgins?
Who painted this?

Gauguin. Don't touch it!
There's a very sensitive...

(ALARM RINGING)

...alarm!

I'm sorry.
| just wanted to feel
the brush strokes.

Don't ever to touch
that painting again. Ever.
Don't even go near it.

HIGGINS: Zeus? Apollo?

What's wrong, lads?

There's something
stuck in their mouths.

Darlene probably
fed 'em gumdrops.
That's usually what does it.

Gumdrops?

| told you
not to touch that!

It's crooked.
| was trying to
straighten it.

| don't care
if it's upside down.
It's not to be touched.

Nothing on this estate
is to be touched.
Is that understood? Nothing!

Okay, okay.

Lighten up,
will you, Huggins?

Higgins.

We may have some trouble
with that little guy.

Nah.
He'll be okay.

We got him so riled up
that he'll probably
be exhausted.

And that means
he'll sleep well.

What have we got?

The only alarm
is a sensitivity mechanism
in the back of the painting.

The switch is on
the right hand wall,
behind the drapes.

What about the dogs?

Good.

Mother Goose?
This is Rubber Duck.
We're in the nest.

There's one alarm.
We've located the switch.

Got it.

RICK: | still can't believe
the voice on the phone
was a kid.

Oh, well, that
must've been Melissa.

She's very grown up
for her age.

Saint Helen's Preparatory
School for Girls.
Fall Directory.

These are your clients?

Yep.

That's the one, right there,
who gave me
all these numbers.

Nancy Semco,
class of 1982.

Hey, Thomas.

They got some
pretty heavyweight students
enrolled in here.

It says here that
Nancy's papa is the head
of Punker Industries.

Yeah, | know. | think
I'm going to have to...

Run down this address.

This isn't exactly
the high rent district,
you know.

| mean, if you
go down there,

| suggest
you either bring a gun
or an alligator on a leash.

Rick? | am looking
for a schoolteacher.
Not a gorilla.

Mmm-hmm.
| know that.
You know that.

But they don't know that
down there.

So, I'll tell them.

Hi, T.C.,
want to go to dinner?

Man, you said dinner.
You didn't say
the last supper.

We're not going to eat here.
I'm going to take you
someplace nice.

Well, if we ain't eating.
What the hell
we doing here?

| Know what it is.
It's another one of you're
crazy cases, isn't it?

No, it isn't.

Hey, look. Don't forget.
You called me.
| didn't call you.

T.C., it is
nothing dangerous.
Believe me.

(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)

Of all
the classy restaurants
in Honolulu,

you drag me down here
to a joint like this.

T.C., will you
just bear with me?

| am trying to
find someone.

Hi, there. | wonder
if you can help me.

Beer or whiskey?

Well, actually,
we don't want
anything to drink.

Except maybe
a couple of beers?

I'm looking for
a short blonde lady,
about 28.

She was with a husky Hawaiian?
Beachcomber type?

That'll be five dollars.

For the beer
or the information?

Don't sound too familiar.

Would another beer
make it sound more familiar?

Sorry, buddy. No woman
like her has been in here
with a guy like that.

Wait a minute.
What about this...
This address?

That's Mano's place.
Upstairs.

| don't think
you're going to find
that lady in there.

Yeah.

Well, thanks, anyway.

For the beer.

(PHONE RINGING)

Yeah?

Nah, he ain't here tonight.
He's out with Roxanne.

Why, what's up?

Oh, yeah?
Well, when did they
leave your place?

| think they just
came through the door.

This is
Saigon Susie's, man.

No, it isn't.

Oh, yes, it is.

Thanks for the tip.

This place doesn't even
have a jukebox.
Come on.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
I'm trying to find someone?

They ain't here.

| didn't ask you
who, yet.

| don't care.
They ain't here.

Well, this is
a short blonde lady

with a Hawaiian kind
of a lifeguard type.

Saigon Susie's.

Look, | said
they ain't here.

But if they do come in
I'll be sure to tell ‘em
you had to leave

abruptly.

Hey, come on, buddy.
This is serious.

| mean, somebody's life
could be in danger...
Will you stop that?

| am trying to
tell this man...

Saigon Susie's?
Uh-huh.

Hey, fellas.
We didn't mean any offense.

Oh! Come on, buddy.
Come on.

(GRUNTING)

Where did
we park the car?

| don't know!
I'm following you!

Oh! Just checking!

T.C.: You don't remember
where you parked the car,
do you?

MAGNUM: Of course
| remember
where | parked the car!

MAGNUM: See?

Come on.
Let's get this thing going.

They'll never
catch us in this.

| can't start the car
until | clear the alarm.

Why did you
set the alarm?

Why did | set the alarm?
Look around you!

MAN: Hey, Mano,
two guys just came
through here, man.

They tore this place apart.

Pretty sure,
they're private heat.
They had that look, you know?

He said he was looking
for a Hawaiian hanging out
with a blonde chick.

It sounds
a lot like your new bride.

I'm telling you
to be careful, man.

Find out who they are
and what they want.

Done.

What's wrong?

You tell me.

All right.

Would you mind
telling me about this lady
we almost got killed over?

Her name is Linda Booton,

and | have to find her
before the headmaster
flies in tomorrow.

Say what?

The headmaster
from Saint Helen's.

Look, | got a call
from this client.

Well, actually,
| didn't get the call,
Rick got the call,

and he told me
to meet this woman
at the State Capitol Building,

which is what | did.

Only when | got there,

this woman turned out
to be five little girls
from Vermont

who'd lost
their school teacher.

Now, that's Linda.

See, but she really
wasn't lost.

She just took up
with a Hawaiian beach bum
for the night.

Anyway, like they said,
she shouldn't be punished
for her passion.

So, | took the case.

Let me out.
What?

Let me out.

T.C., | think
you're overreacting.

Yeah, | always do
when I'm riding around
with a lunatic.

Wait! T.C.?

You are crazy, boy.
You are stone crazy.
Stone crazy out your mind!

I'm crazy
for riding with you!

| don
to leave you in this part
of town, T.C.

Hey, T.C.,
come on back.

We'll eat at the Blue Lagoon!
On me!

MAGNUM: /f T.C. didn't want
to eat at the Blue Lagoon,
then he was really mad.

Oh, well.

He probably wouldn't want to
follow my next lead, anyway.

Just look at you.
Look at you.

Every time that boy calls,
you the one that winds up
with your behind in the fire.

Inagym
fighting a room full
of Mr. Universes.

Man, you must be
out your mind.

MAGNUM:
! did a little thinking
after T.C. left

and decided the clues
that the girls had given me
weren't really clues

but ways to shorten
my life expectancy.

Going back to that hotel
was my only hope.

Hi.

Fruit of Passion?
| didn't know Robin Masters
wrote agronomy novels.

Huh?

Miss Linda Booton?

She checked in
about three days ago
with five little girls.

Yeah?

(SIGHS) You remember them?

Not for five lousy bucks.

Well, kind of.

Well, do you remember
Miss Booton's boyfriend?

He's a big Hawaiian
lifeguard type.

He might have
picked her up here.

Hmm. Yeah. Maybe.

Well, how about
a license number?

Or a telephone number
she might have called
or some messages?

Something that
might lead me to her.

Yeah. | think so.

You know, for another five,
| could give you a number
that'd take you right to her.

I'd have to write a check.

Room 2409.
She's been in all night.

| could have had that
for nothing.

MAGNUM:
So far, this case had cost me
my right to the wine cellar,

the last cash in my pocket
and nearly my life.

If that clerk was lying to me,
| was going to
come back down here

and shove that
Robin Masters paperback
in his ear.

WOMAN: Who is it?

Miss Booton?

Who is it?

Thomas Magnum.
| think | have
something of yours.

Come in.

(SIGHS) Those little brats.

Boy, they've really
outdone themselves this time.

Beach boy.

At eastern Yellowstone,
it was a forest ranger.

And at Thanksgiving
in New York,
it was a cab driver.

Where are
their parents?

They're spread out
all over the world.

Some of them are too isolated
to get together with them
at the holidays and...

The rest of 'em
would just rather pay me
to take care of them.

So, these little girls
just make up these stories

about you running off
with some man?

Isn't it something?

There is just no limit
to their imagination.

Well, if you really were here,
aren't you worried about them?
It's almost midnight.

That late?
Yes, it is.

You'd think you'd want
to check up on them.

Those kids have been
running around loose
since this afternoon.

Now, wait a minute.

I'm sorry that
you got dragged into this,
but don't come in here

and start telling me
how | should
take care of them.

They told me
that they were
spending the day

and having dinner
with the Governor's daughter.

A limo actually...
(PHONE RINGING)

...picked them up
at two.

(PHONE RINGING)

The phone's ringing.

Hello?

No, this isn't Nancy.
But Merry Christmas
to you, too.

The wrong number.

Well, Nancy.
Is ita go?

| think so.

How long have you
been teaching art?

Three years?

Really?

You got to see the Gauguin
that Robin Masters
just bought.

| think
you'd really like it.

Gauguin? Sure, | would.

Does my driving bother you?
No.

Oh! You seem nervous.

No. You're a great driver.
You drive great.

Well, some people
don't like to be
taken for a ride.

Anyway, ever since
we got the Gauguin,
Higgins, he...

He kind of runs the place.

He's really
tightened security.

The place is harder
to get into than a safe.

I'd certainly hope so.

But you know
what Houdini used to say
about safes, don't you?

No. Not right offhand.

He said they're easier
to break out of
than into.

Oh, really?
Houdini said that?

Houdini.

(HUSHED WHISPERING)

Hi, guys.

Miss Booton.

First of all,
please don't be mad
at the girls.

They were really
only trying
to help me out.

Second of all...

That Gauguin is a fake.

(CHUCKLING)

Remarkable.
She's even better
then you are.

No, really!
It's a fake!

We weren't trying
to steal the Gauguin.
We were trying to return it.

How did
you ever find her?

We gave you some
really rotten leads.

That's how.
Higgins.

If you'd given him
a decent lead,

he'd have blown it
higher than
a Chinese firecracker.

| caught the girls.

Who wouldn't have been here
in the first place

had it not been for
your incredible gullibility.

I'm calling the police.

They can hold you until
we find out which of these
paintings is the original.

Oh, no.
Please, Mr. Higgins.

If you involve
the police,

you're going to bring
unwarranted publicity to some
very prominent families,

including
Mr. Masters.

You should be able to tell
which is the original.

Assuming that
you're telling the truth,

what were you doing
with the original
in the first place?

Well, it all started when
my younger sister was accepted
at the Sorbonne in Paris.

Oh, please.
No soap opera sob stories.

It's not a soap opera.

My parents
couldn't afford it.

But she is
unbelievably talented,

and I'd do anything
to see her go.

So, I... | made a deal
with someone

to get enough money
so she could.

And | thought
you'd have a flimsy excuse.

What kind of a deal?

| authenticate paintings.

Mostly Impressionist.

The art collector
that sold the Gauguin
to Robin Masters

offered me a lot of money
to make a copy
of the original.

Then authenticate the copy
and give the original
back to him.

It's his most
prized painting.

Really, | think
he'd rather die
than give it up.

So, you committed a crime.

No!

Well, not totally.

Oh! You're only a thief
if you're not caught, huh?

But | didn't go
through with it.

When it came right down to it,
| couldn't
give him back the original.

But by then the fake
had been shipped here.

So, you're telling me that

this whole story
about you
and the beach bum

and them
with their crazy
little imaginations

was just used
to get them
into the estate?

That was our idea.

Amazing.
This is the original.

(SIGHS) There!
You see?
| told you.

Now, everything is okay.

No, everything
is not okay.

You and these five urchins
were involved
in a very serious crime.

Urchins?

Hey, cool it, Higgins.

| told you
the plan was our idea.

I'm calling the police.

But why? What for?

You've got
your painting back!

Why get five little girls
into trouble for trying
to return something?

I'm reporting you.

If she goes...we go.

At least Huggins
let us go.

Why doesn't that
make me feel better?

Bet you'd
feel okay

if Magnum hadn't been
such a spoiled sport
about the whole thing.

Yeah, but I'm afraid
he was right.

We were
committing a crime.

MELISSA: Well, it worked.
Almost.

(GASPS)

Almost doesn't count.
Does it, Miss Booton?

MELISSA: Uh-oh.

What's a four-letter word
for "young girl"?

Brat.

Brat.

Mahalo.

Doesn't fit.
It does in my book.

Well, it doesn't
in my puzzle.

Well, then,
what did you
ask me for?

Oh, well, pardon me.
| should have known better
than to bother you

while you're eating
your breakfast in a club
that you're not a member of.

I'm sorry. I've...
I've just been up all night.
I'm tired.

| think they call that
an occupational hazard.

No, they don't.
It's called being suckered
by five little girls.

(PHONE BUZZES)

Yeah?

MOKI:
Rick, there's a girl here
to see Magnum. Is he there?

There's a girl here
to see you.

If she's under 16,
| don't want to know.

Who is it, Moki?

| don't know,
but she sounds like a client.

Well, in that case,
send her up.

Send her up?
Rick! Come on!

Listen, she's
a potential client, and you
can use the business.

| can use
finishing my breakfast
in peace.

You can use
the bucks. Bye.

Hey, wait a minute.

Oh, no!

The girls have
been kidnapped.

Wait. Let me guess.

The kidnapper wants to
exchange the fake girls
for the original.

Stop! Stop it!
This is not a joke!

Well, did you
call the police?

No. No, he said
he'd kill them
if | did that.

Oh. Uh-huh.

We've got to do something fast
or they're going to die
of heat exhaustion!

What?

He called
a half hour ago.

He said he had them
locked up in a place

where the temperature
would get to be
130 degrees by noon.

That's only three hours
from now.

That's very good.
Have you ever considered
taking up acting?

(SIGHING)

|! am so unlike the person
you are seeing right now.

| sound like
a complete fruitcake.
| know it.

| have a master's degree
from Brown University.
| am a Phi Beta Kappa.

But look at me.
Look at me!

I'm being chased by hoods!
My girls are kidnapped!
They might die!

Hey, now, come on.

I'm a good, honest person.
I've never done anything
like this before.

| don't believe
this is happening!

Now, wait. Calm down.

Tell me what happened.

I'm sorry.

Who kidnapped them?

The art collector
| switched the paintings for.

But you canceled that deal!
| told you.

He never would have
sold the painting

if he thought
he actually had to
give it up.

He was waiting
with a gun last night
when we got back to the room.

He took the girls
and he said if he didn't get
the Gauguin back...

Now... Now...
Now, wait a minute.

Nothing is going to
happen to them.

Nothing's going to happen.

ll... Il get
the fake from Higgins

and we'll give it
to the kidnapper.

| mean,
if it fooled Higgins,
it can fool him.

| threw it away.

You threw it...
You threw away
that beautiful fake?

Madame, please.
Control yourself.

Control myself?
How could you throw
that painting away?

Boy, you really beat all...
Linda, come here.

Look, Higgins and |
do this all the time.
It's sort of a game.

A game?
My girls may be dying and
you're playing a game?

Look, you're not going
to get anything
from him this way.

Now, just trust me.

Higgins, we really do need
that fake Gauguin.
This is an emergency.

Somebody has kidnapped
the girls.

He has
my wholehearted sympathy.

Now this isn't funny.
They're in danger.
Now, just give me the fake.

| threw it away.

Oh, come on.

You're just trying
to buy time to think up
some sort of a deal.

What's it going to be
this time? The...

The car? My bed?
My firstborn male child?
What?

|! am buying no such thing.
| threw
that cheap imitation away.

Then, we're gonna have to
take the original.

That's not amusing, Magnum.

Higgins, five little girls
are going to die

unless | deliver that Gauguin
to the person
who's holding them.

Now, | don't care
what that's worth in cash.

But | can't believe
that you think it's worth
those little girls’ lives.

Or do you?

BOXER: There he is.

HIGGINS:
There had better be
a kidnapper, Magnum.

There's a kidnapper,
Higgins.

Because
if there isn't...

LINDA: There is
a kidnapper, Higgins.

I'm sweating.

We're all sweating.

| hate sweating.

Darlene.

I'm scared.
| have to sing
when I'm scared.

Melissa, it's important
that we try
and conserve our energy.

CAROLYN: | wonder
how hot it is.

| bet it's over
150 degrees.

That's hot enough
to cook a turkey.

Carolyn.

HIGGINS: Don't think
you're going to get away
with this outrageous scheme.

MAGNUM: It's not
an outrageous scheme!

Now, would you
just shut up?

Once this is over,

there is going to be
a new set of rules
at the estate.

MAGNUM: Higgins.

LINDA: Can't you drive
any faster?

You will no longer
come and go
as you please.

MAGNUM: Higgins.

You will no longer
be allowed
in the main house.

BOXER: Okay.
Let's take him down.

HIGGINS: You will
no longer use
any of the facilities.

No more of your guests
will be allowed
on the premises.

You cannot
use the phone.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

| think it's time
we switched driving partners.

(LOUD RUMBLE)

What was that?

It's the volcano.
It's going to explode
like Mount Saint Helens!

Diamond Head
is a dead volcano.

| bet that's what they said
about Mount Saint Helens.

I'm scared.

Just be quiet, Melissa.
Try to think happy thoughts.

f On the first day
of Christmas

~ My true love
gave to me

A partridge
in a pear tree

~ On the second day
of Christmas...

Melissa.

~ On the second day
of Christmas...

Melissa.

| have to
go to the bathroom.

~ Five golden rings

~ Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves

~ And a partridge
in a pear tree J

(DOOR OPENING)

Welcome to the party, Thomas.

Are you in charge here?

Who is he?
He's the butler.

| am not the butler.
| am head of security
on the Robin Masters’ estate.

Why were you
looking for Roxanne?

Roxanne?
| don't Know any Roxanne.

That's me.
How do you do?

Well, he wasn't
looking for her.
He was.

No, | wasn't.
| was looking for her.
Ask T.C.

Oh, no.
Don't ask me nothing.

LINDA: Oh, you're T.C.

MAGNUM: Oh. T.C.,
| am sorry,
this is Linda.

Knock off
the tea party introductions.

Hey!

| think | can explain
this whole misunderstanding.

No, you can't.

Higgins.

See, | was hired
by five little girls
to find their schoolteacher.

That is Linda.

But they didn't want me
to find Linda, see.

So, they gave me
all these false leads.

And one of the false leads
was the address to your place.

See, so naturally,
when T.C. and |

started asking about
a blonde with a Hawaiian
beach bum...boy,

your friend here
just naturally assumed that
| was looking for Roxanne.

But | wasn't looking
for Roxanne,
| was looking for Linda.

And | found her,
even though they really
didn't want me to find her.

So, see. It was all just this
great big misunderstanding.

Why were you
looking for Roxanne?

| told you.
Will you shut up?

| wasn't looking for Roxanne.
| was looking for Linda,
who looks like Roxanne.

| do not.

What do you mean
by that?

Shut up, all of you!

I've been
a successful businessman
for years.

Suddenly, | get
a new girlfriend

who has private eyes
following her around.

And I'm no longer
successful.

But see,
| just explained that.
Maybe...

Tom... Thomas, please.
Please don't tell
that story again.

First, the listening devices.

Then money
starts disappearing.

Now some of my clients
are changing neighborhoods.

All right!

All right.
| was working for Roxanne.
She hired me.

What?

But not to follow you.

To follow him.

What?

Oh, it happens this way
every time.

The right hand man
tries to take over.
Think about it.

Who has more access to you
than him?

And as for her,
you should be thanking her
for turning me on to his.

She was just worried
about you getting wiped out
by your best friend.

Mano, he's crazy.

Hear, hear.

Mano, are you going to
believe this guy?
He's just fast-talking you.

Oh, it's so typical.

They always
blame the girlfriend.

Hell, she was just trying
to protect you.

I'll bet that he has
the combination
to your personal safe.

Yeah.

Hey, Mano, it ain't
like it looks. | mean...

You know, maybe | took
a little now and then.

Nothing big.
Honest! Honest!

It was just pocket money.

After all the years
we've been together.

Where did you get
all that madness
you was talking in there?

| made it up.
Mmm-hmm!

You made it up?

Well, it worked,
didn't it?

~ Four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtle doves

~ And a partridge
in a pear tree J

(SIGHS EXHAUSTEDLY)

Wait a minute.
Where are you going?

To make the drop.

No, you're not.

He could be
waiting in there for you.
I'll take it.

No. He is expecting me.

That's right.
You're a loose end
in his crime.

What are you saying?

Linda, he has
five little girls locked away
where they could die.

He may want them to die.
No.

But you are going to
have to
face that possibility.

Now, he could be
waiting in there
to kill you

once he has
the painting.

There's no loose ends
that way. I'll take it.

No!
T.C.

No! Magnum!

Magnum, no! Magnum!

Two million marks.

| can't believe
I'm letting him do this.

Well?
Nothing in there.

What?

Except Robin Masters’ Gauguin.

The kidnapper is in there.
He has to be!

Believe me, Linda.
There's nothing in there
but the fish.

(ENGINE STARTING)

MELISSA:
~ Three French hens,
two turtle doves

~ And a partridge
in a pear tree J

MAGNUM:
Now that the drop
had been made,

the worst part
was the waiting.

As soon as the kidnapper calls
with the girls’ location,
I'm calling the police.

Higgins, first,
we make sure
the girls are safe.

Then we get the painting
without involving the police.

What?

T.C. and |
have it all worked out.
Don't worry.

Good. Then, you can explain
your plan to the police.

Higgins, | don't want to
have to get into
this again with you.

We are not going to let Linda
and the girls get in trouble
with the police.

(PHONE RINGING)
Give me that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're in
a civil defense tunnel
in Diamond Head. Come on.

5-0.
| want to report a theft.

This is the chief
security officer
of Robin Masters’ estate.

Unhand me!

This is outrageous!

Outrageous!

Can't you stall him?

It's Rick.
He tracked the kidnapper
to the airport.

Goodbye, Gauguin.

Stay with him
best you can, buddy.

(WIND HOWLING)

(HAMMERING LOCk)

Nancy? Melissa!

MAGNUM:
Get them out of here.
It's like an oven in here.

MELISSA: | knew
you'd save us, Magnum.

MAGNUM: Come on.

MAGNUM: The girls were fine
by the time we got
some liquid in them

but we left them with Linda
at the emergency center
just to be sure.

My instinct was to lock
this guy away in that tunnel
for a couple of days.

But that would
only bring the police,
involve the girls, So...

! had another plan.

(ANNOUNCEMENTS OVER PA)

They just
called his plane.
We got 10 minutes.

If we're going to
get the painting back,
we've got to do it right now.

It's Gate 18.

ANNOUNCER:
Passengers for
Pan Pacific Flight 210

from Honolulu
to San Francisco

now boarding at Gate 17.

Show me one of
these leis.

Yeah. No, this is not me.
This is not me.

It's not...
It's not. It's...
It's not manly enough.

| want a manly, you know,
a macho-looking leis.
Show me another one.

Show me another one.
This... This is just...
Show me another one.

That's not me, either.
You got a macho lei?

(WHISTLING)

ANNOUNCER:
Captain Walt Connors,

please pick up
the white courtesy telephone.

Captain Walt Connors,
please pick up
the white courtesy telephone.

(BEEPS)

What the...

Oh, I'm telling you
the truth.
After all the...

SECURITY: Pardon me, sir.
I'm going to have to ask you
to go back through again.

T.C.: For what? | mean,
it's obvious | don't have
anything on me.

SECURITY AGENT:
Please step back, folks.

Please go back through.

I've got to go back through?
Yes.

It's a good thing
| got down here early.
| never would catch my flight.

I'm sure glad
I'm not in a hurry.

(MACHINE BEEPING)
Oh.

SECURITY AGENT:
Can you empty your pockets?
T.C.: Again?

T.C.: Oh! | got it.
It must be these keys.

SECURITY AGENT: Right.
Okay. Step back.

Excuse me, sir.
You familiar with
one of these things?

No.

Man, me neither. Me?
I'm a simple guy, you see.

| would have been happy
with one of those cameras

that James Garner
always pitches on TV.

COLLECTOR:
It's your turn to go through.
RICK: Oh, yeah.

RICK: Well, I'm sorry.
Say, would you mind...

Would you mind
holding this for me?

Put it on the rail.

Yeah. Put it on the rail.
Right. I'm sorry.
Excuse me. Okay?

ANNOUNCER:
Trans-Global Flight 50
is now arriving at Gate 6.

Trans-Global Flight 50
is now arriving at Gate 6.

I'd give anything
to see the look
on that turkey's face

when he finds out
what's really in there.

Merry Christmas, Higgins.

| understand
it was a smashing rescue,
Mr. Higgins.

| wouldn't know,
having been detained
against my will.

Well, we didn't get
to see much, either.

LESLI: But the best part
was when Magnum saved us.

You're wonderful,
Magnum.

Well, | wouldn't
say that.

But at least
| can tell Mr. Masters
we have the original back.

You called Robin?

| have a call in to him
at Saint-Tropez.

As soon as he returns,
| shall tell him
that his Gauguin is now safe.

Although it had been stolen
by clients of his guest,
Thomas Magnum.

We'll see
how welcome you are
around here, then.

Gee, | don't know, Higgins.
What do you think
Robin will say

when you tell him
five little girls
beat your security system?

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

(LAUGHING)