All language subtitles for VX Rocky XXX A Parody

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Original subtitles

Don't have a time

I'm giving you a chance to be world champion.

Don't you know what kind of opportunity this is?

Who's going to be my manager? You? I don't need you.

I think you can beat him.

Rocky, I love you.

If you don't knock him out, you ain't going to win.

Go on your path.

Hey, yo, Mick. What?

No more locker for me.

Where am I going to put my clothes?

Shove them up your ass, for all I care. Your head's already up there.

Lockers are for winners.

You trying to say I ain't got what it takes no more?

No, you stupid dago. I'm saying you ain't got no heart.

You could have been somebody.

You're spending too much time with that loan shark, breaking people's leg.

Yeah, well, it's a living.

Not in this, Gemini.

Well, look.

I'm fighting Killer Kravinsky tonight. You should come by.

He's been washed up for five years, and you still ain't got no chance.

How about I knock him out in three? How about he don't kill you in two?

Look, son, you got all the talent, but you lack heart.

And that'll put you on your back every time.

Yeah, well, the view ain't so bad from down there.

Get out of my gym and take your loser attitude with you. I want real fighters

this gym. Now get the hell out of here before I throw up!

Adrian, I wish you could have seen me fight tonight.

I don't like fighting, and Polly said you were a bum.

Yeah, well, you tell Polly I barely got hit.

Hey, uh, Dilso, I was thinking maybe we could go see a movie or something some

night. Why not?

Whatever's good for you is good for me.

I had to stay home and cook dinner and look at the TV with my brother every

night.

Yeah, well...

A change of scenery might be good for you. Think about it.

Put Paulie back in the phone.

Yeah? Hey, yo, Paulie.

The mailman gave me this letter from Apollo Creed's office.

He wants to see me.

I think he's looking for sparring partners or something like that.

I want dozens of flowers when I walk in the ring.

Make them roses.

All colors.

Don't care how much it costs.

Money's no object.

Mr. Creed, our Rocky Balboa is here to see you.

All good.

In a minute.

I love giving underdogs a kiss.

The American way.

Hey, that's a very nice office you have here, Mr. Green.

Let me get a good look at you.

Italian? Italian.

Got a great ring to it.

Yeah, well, you know, I heard you was looking for some sparring partners, so I

want to say it would be a great honor, Mr. Green.

I don't need no sparring partner. I damn near sparred them all to death.

What I'm giving you, Rocky Balboa, is a shot at the title.

That's all fine and dandy, you know, but I'm more of a club fighter.

Then that's exactly why I want you.

Rocky, do you believe that America is the land of opportunity?

Oh, yeah, sure. You know, I won 45 bucks for fighting Killer Kravinsky the other

night. That was a pretty good opportunity.

Be that as it may, I'm giving you a chance to be world champion.

Now, if you fight me and beat me,

You wear this belt.

Oh, you know, I don't know so much about that sort of thing. I want to thank you

for the chance, but I think I'm going to go back to Mick's gym and see if I get

my old locker back. I lost my locker to this new kid. He's a really good

fighter. Maybe you should think about fighting him.

No, Rocky.

I want you.

I want the Italian style.

I want to slice old Italy with pepperoni on top.

I believe in the American dream, and you should too.

Now, are you going to give me my fight or not?

I mean, you know, okay. I suppose I could let you beat on my face for a few

rounds, but, you know, don't break my nose because I ain't never had my nose

broke yet.

Noses are meant to be broken.

Just don't break mine because I'm way too pretty.

Barack, you can break.

Go for it.

He might just be tougher than he looks. He might just put me down for the count.

Okay, Marge.

I think we should go with the red, white, and blue trunk.

Just to give it that Yankee doodle dandy affair.

And we need some ring girls. Some real pretty ones.

And some champagne in the locker room.

Give it that party atmosphere.

Hey, old Mick.

Paulie said you wanted to see me.

Word is you just turned down a Paul Creed's offer.

Oh, I don't say for sure, but... I ain't in his league anyhow.

It'll be a waste of time.

Your life's a waste of time.

Don't you know what kind of opportunity this is?

Yeah, it's an opportunity to get my face broke. Shut up!

And listen.

Nobody gets a chance like this. But you're too stupid to see it.

What you need is motivation.

What you need is a manager.

Oh, yeah?

So who's going to be my manager, huh? You?

Or your manager take my locker away?

Listen, I don't need you.

And Apollo Creed sure as hell don't need me.

No, Apollo Creed don't need you.

But you need him.

That wasn't so bad, was it?

Sit down.

Take a look.

Holly told me about

your meeting with Apollo Creed.

Yeah, that brother of yours is a big mouth.

Look, I don't know much about this kind of thing, but...

I think you should do it.

What do you know about fighting, huh?

Adrian.

You know, deep down, you're a real beautiful girl underneath all those

and bulky clothes.

Raccoon?

Yes, Adrian?

I don't care what my brother says about you.

I believe in you.

And you ain't no bum.

I think you can beat him.

Hey, yo, Adrian, thanks. You know, that's the kind of stuff that only

movies.

I don't know what to do.

Thank you, sir.

Oh.

Yeah. Uh -huh.

Oh, it's the great American story.

It's going to make all the headlines.

Uh -huh.

All right. Goodbye.

All right.

I'm going to go talk to that Balboa character and see if I can convince him

do the fight.

You're going to do that.

Jenny and I are going to get in a little cardiovascular training.

Isn't that right, Judy?

Anything you say, Apollo.

Oh, come on, Apollo.

How many times have I got to tell you?

Sex takes away your strength.

I'm going to knock that chump out in three.

Nice,

baby.

Oh, man.

Show me that.

What are you doing? Jump, baby.

Jump, baby. Jump. Feels so good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give me that workout.

Give me that workout, baby.

I like that. I like that. A

big mustache stick, baby.

There you go.

Good night.

You turn around on me, Daddy.

Yeah, knock it out, baby.

Like I'm going to do Rocky.

Whoa.

I'm the champ.

Yes, you are.

I'm the champ.

Hello? Rocky, they're willing to pay you a lot of money.

How much?

Plenty. Get your ass down to their office now.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I'll meet you there.

Hello, Mr.

Creed.

This is my manager, Mick.

We decided to take the fight.

Good news.

A power creed.

Versus the Italian style.

I like that.

Sir, you can't go in there.

dodge me by fighting this Italian nobody?

Hey, mister, you got it all wrong. They call me the Italian Saint.

Oh, shut the fuck up, Diego.

Listen, cover, I'll fight you any time and any day.

Man, you've been ducking me for over a year. I'm tired of waiting.

You get your chance.

As soon as I'm done knocking out my bull.

Yeah, we sounds pretty confident, huh?

Hey, hey, listen, fool.

Maybe you and your grandpa might get lucky and beat this son of a bitch.

And if you do, I'll be waiting for you for the title.

Hey, I'll do my best. Now, you listen, Lane. I ain't gonna lose.

This boy got no chance of beating me. Now, get the hell out of here before I

call the cops.

Damn, this is a fine piece of ass.

Boy, you better get your ass out of my office.

I'll see you on the ring.

Mr. Creed, you really think I got no chance to beat you?

Come on, Rocky.

This is America.

Of course you got a chance.

One in a million.

One in a million, huh?

Come on.

Come on.

Things don't work.

Method won't.

I'm sitting here now with Rocky Balboa, who's been given the opportunity of a

lifetime.

What makes you think you can beat the champ?

I don't know if I could beat him. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Was it true that you were kicked out of your own gym only a few short days ago?

That's just the way Mick is, you know. He's a cantankerous old man, kind of

an angry neighbor or something.

Well, good luck, Rocky.

America's pulling for you.

Thanks. I just want to say hello to my girlfriend, Adrienne. Hey, yo, Adrienne,

look. I'm on TV.

Talk about David versus Goliath. Now back to our news desk.

Oh, hey, Paulie.

You see me on TV today?

Yeah, I saw you on TV.

How come you didn't say hello to me?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hello, Paulie.

That don't count. He ain't on TV right now.

Well, I saw it, and I thought it was really sweet.

Yeah, well, seeing that you was my girl and all, you know, I figured I'd let the

whole world know.

Um, I don't think you should date no more.

What, are you nuts? Why not?

She's my sister, and she needs to be home with me.

Why I gotta be home for you, Polly?

All I do is cook and clean and do your laundry.

I spent my whole life wasting away picking up after you.

Because that's what I wanted you to do. Now get your stuff and go home.

That's an order.

An order?

It's okay, Paulie. I think she's more comfortable here with me.

Who are you? You're just a stupid fighter who's not going to amount to

Now get your filthy hands off my sister.

I think you need to go home, Paulie.

Oh, really? Well, I think you need to go. Go fuck yourself!

All right?

What are you going to do? What are you going to do, tough guy? What are you

going to do?

Ouch! You need to relax, Paulie, and be nice to the Adrian.

You're hurting my arm!

Okay, okay, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Okay, I'm sorry!

Maybe Pauly's right.

Don't say that, Rocky.

I'm no match for Apollo Creed.

He's champion of the world, and I'm just some bum from Philly.

You ain't no bum.

And I... I love you.

You love me?

Well, I love you too, Adrian.

I love you so much.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Spectrum. Ladies and gentlemen, this

be the mismatch of the century as champion Apollo Creed should have a walk

the park with underdog club fighter Rocky Balboa.

That's right, Stu. I see no chance for an upset if this is more of a tune -up

for Apollo Creed.

Well, I gotta give this Balboa character credit for having the guts to step into

the room.

Ooh, Apollo nails from the left to the right.

Another hard shot to the head staggers the local boy. This is just a terrible

matchup. Let's just hope they don't have to carry him out or spread terror.

Yeah, he's a bum.

Get out there and kill that motherfucker.

Kill that fucking bum. Go.

Rocky continues to get hit, but I have to say he's not good enough.

Yeah, he's pretty tough, but he's still out. I'm not exactly sure what his

corner man is telling me.

I think we got ourselves a fight.

That's the way to knock him down. That's the way to do it.

Keep that laptop.

Keep going. Keep going. You got him.

My brain don't feel so good. I know, man. Go get him. You got him.

Freedom leaves a blast upon you.

That might put this fight to bed.

I don't know. It's not hot.

Welcome back to Philadelphia, where both of these fighters fought to a gruesome

draw.

Where does Rock find the courage to continue to get up?

I don't know, but he's taking a horrible beating. Stop this fight. You can't go

on.

Stop this fight and I'll kill you next.

Well, then you better knock him out.

This is your last chance, so you're going to get out there and knock him

Kill him.

If Rocky doesn't knock him out, Apollo will receive his title.

Hey,

Steven, his manager is calling for it to be over.

The kid gave me one heck of a thought. Rocky just didn't have it in him to win.

Rocky, I love you.

Are you kidding me?

He let Apollo breathe cancer as he got up again.

Rocky is unleashing a fury of hard punches and Reed is hurt.

You can't believe what I'm seeing.

Apollo fires back with a vicious right jab.

I'm not sure where he's getting it straight, but he's delivering some

punches. The champion is in trouble.

Ladies and gentlemen.

We might be witness to history.

Oh, my God. Has Roger done the unthinkable?

They said it wasn't possible, but Rocky Balboa has shocked the world by proving

that anything is possible. First, by fighting Apollo Creed to a draw, and

by winning the greatest rematch in boxing history.

Rocky, how do you feel?

I don't want to fight him no more. You know, he's too tough. But I want to

my manager, Mick, and my beautiful girlfriend, Adrienne.

And I want to thank Apollo Creed, too, you know, for giving me a second chance

at a title.

So what happens next, Rocky?

I'll tell you what's next.

You're going to fight me. That's what's next.

I don't make those kind of decisions. You're going to have to talk to my

promoter. Yeah, that's what I thought.

The Italian stallion is sissy.

Yo, I ain't no sissy.

Yeah? Well, prove it.

Fight me then.

Unless you're afraid of getting an ass, woman.

Hey, yo, I ain't scared neither.

That's a fine woman you got there.

She good in bed?

She go down on the Italian sausage?

Hey, yo.

Leave her out of this, huh?

Some mouth you got on you. That's between you and me.

Yeah? Are you going to fight me then?

Hey, no, there's no fight.

Yeah, I'll fight you.

Did you hear that, ladies and gentlemen?

Do I have a scoop, Rocky?

It's the next match against Clubber Lang.

No, that's not what he said.

You can't fight him yet, Rocky. You're not ready.

Yeah, I'll take the fight.

I'm going to kill you, dumb boy.

I'm going to destroy you and I'm going to pick at you.

Mickey,

are you okay?

Everybody get the hell out of my tent, all of you.

You okay?

Come on, let's get the hell out of here.

You're looking at the next heavyweight champion in the world, baby.

I know.

I'm going to have to text you right here and leave my pen all over this gym.

Fuck you.

That's just smoking a second. I'm gonna smoke in a second.

Thank you.

Look at the water.

Yeah, that pussy's good, baby.

Yeah, it's a good pussy.

You like that fucking pussy?

Yeah.

That's a good fucking pussy.

Yeah.

Suck on my finger.

Yeah.

You're going to make me cum. Yeah, I want your fucking cum cover.

I spray my scent all over this fucking office.

Yeah.

Here I come, baby. Here I come.

Yeah, get ready.

Yeah.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah.

Both of us on the desk. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Take the rest, honey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Now spit that out on the desk.

Yeah, good girl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Take that, my boy.

Would you look at this?

That fucking animal had sex on my desk.

How could you tell?

I know what sperm smells like, and my entire desk is covered in it.

Ew.

That's pretty gross, Mick. Gross, but not surprising.

Listen, Rock, I got a real surprise for you. My heart ain't so good, so I

brought in another trainer to help us beat Clubber Lang.

Another trainer?

I don't want no other trainer, Mick. I want you.

Oh, shut up. I didn't do as I asked.

Rock, if you want to beat that animal, then we got to get to work.

I know that voice.

Yeah, it sounds like Apollo Creed.

Let me get a good look at you. I can't die.

Apollo.

Yo, AJ, how would you like what you've done with your hair?

Yeah, Rock, uh, they're called extensions, and they're really neat.

Yeah, I can't believe that scumbag banged that broad on Mickey's desk.

Polly!

Yeah, well, maybe I ought to bang his face into the canvas, huh?

Rocky, after you win, can we go on vacation somewhere warm, like an island

something? Well, sure, honey, where you want to go?

Well, I don't know. I just, I've never been to an island before.

Well, pick up someplace that sounds warm and I'll take you there.

Can I come too?

No, Paulie. You've got to stay behind and feed the turtles.

But listen, I've got 20 minutes before I've got to go to the gym.

So, why don't you scram, Paulie, and I'll see you later.

Yeah, yeah, all right, all right.

I'll take a hint.

I never thought that guy would leave.

I heard that.

Oh, Rocky, I love you.

But wait, what about your strength?

Your love gives me strength.

I think I'm going to buy you, what do they call them, contact lenses.

I thought it was hard to get off.

I'm sorry.

Ugh.

When we lay on the sofa, you keep doing that.

Come here.

Sit right here.

Huh.

Yeah. Yep, yep. That's what I'm talking about. Calm down. Calm down.

Good job.

Good job.

Hey, yo, I seen this guy on TV.

He looks pretty tough.

Damn right he's tough.

You gotta beat him with everything you've got, Rocky. What the hell are you

doing back here?

Hey, yo, Mick, it's all right. You came to see my sporting partner, Johnny.

Well, all right, but you stay away from the chap.

It's like a goddamn circus in here.

Don't worry. I won't be bothering Rocky today.

Okay.

Hey, let's get away from this broad and go across the street and grab some

lunch. I'm starving.

It's like a goddamn zoo in here.

It's been a long time, Johnny.

Why would you want to interview me?

I don't.

Nobody ever notices guys like you.

And I miss you.

Listen, we're all alone here.

My camera guy won't be here for another 30 minutes.

I want to see you with him.

All right, well, we better hurry.

It's fucking hard.

And then I spoke to her.

I can circle on this net.

No fucking reason.

Hey, whack.

Fuck yeah. Oh, give it to me.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I love it. I love it. I need it. I need it, baby.

Oh, my God.

Fuck, come on, I said. Come on, yeah.

What the fuck's going on in here?

Looks like Johnny just made his TV debut.

Get the hell out of my ring, you filthy cunt.

Better watch out for those deaf in his jizz.

Jizz? 40 years, I ain't never seen nothing like this.

I'm standing in a refrigerated meatpacking plant as Rocky Balboa

final days in training for his fight with Clubber Lane.

Rocky, no one is giving you a chance to win. Why is that?

I don't know. Maybe you better ask them.

Is it true you've been coming down here to fight the heads of thieves for a few

months now?

Well, I don't know. It's not too much of a fight. These guys have been dead for

a long time now, so they don't fight back.

With the champion in an ice -cold meat locker somewhere in Philadelphia, I'm

Sandy Smith, News 8.

It's cold. Get the hell out of here.

at the sold -out Spectrum in Philadelphia for what should be a very

fight. A few months ago, I wouldn't give Rocky a chance, but anything is

possible tonight.

Yeah, but Clubber Lang is one of the meanest and dirtiest fighters that ever

stepped into the ring. I don't see how Rocky is going to pull off the upset.

I'm going to kill you, Balboa!

Yeah, maybe so.

Maybe so.

Hey, Aiden.

After I'm done knocking out your man.

Maybe me and you could get together and have sex. Hey, hey, I already told you

about your mouth, huh?

It's between you and me. You leave her out of this. Yeah, well, I disagree.

Because I'm going to be with Champ. And with Champ, always gets what he wants.

And I'm going to want her.

Yeah. I'll be deeper in that pussy by midnight.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You want to break your hand before you even get in the ring?

Got this.

Hey, remember what we trained, all right? Thick and jab before you got it.

bitch, Champ. You a champ.

Just kill that mother...

Yeah this is difficult to watch.

Once again it all comes down to the final round

um um

Thank you.

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