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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,890 Are you kidding me? I'm gonna come back for that. 2 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,183 Oh, yeah. 3 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:23,063 Okay, I can't wait. I wouldn't miss it. I have to get off the phone. 4 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:27,109 I will. Okay. Bye. 5 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,279 He wants to take me to Palm... 6 00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,700 He's gonna take me to Palm Springs, in the desert. 7 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,454 - Cool. - When we get back, 8 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,456 we should all do something, the three of us. 9 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,418 - Me, you, and Larry? - Yes. Y'all hit it off at the party. 10 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:45,961 Did we? 11 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,758 Yes! Y'all were talking about actors and movies. 12 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,760 Hmm. Yeah. 13 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,015 Anyway, thanks for coming to Houston with me. 14 00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,727 I told you I'd come, and I'm here. 15 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,160 - Wait, this is the valet? - Yeah, it's the valet. 16 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,954 It's a new way of parking the car. 17 00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:22,498 You're gonna keep the car here? 18 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,083 I'm gonna let them take the car away. 19 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,834 - I'm gonna pay them for it. - Brett. 20 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,961 Yeah, I'm full of surprises tonight. 21 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,089 Okay. 22 00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,841 - Man, those couches. - Cool. 23 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,385 - Think we're gonna have to fumigate. - Yeah. 24 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,304 It's Fart City, USA, in our living room. 25 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,347 Yeah. 26 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,431 It's crazy. 27 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:41,600 It's fun having everybody around. Like a big soap opera. 28 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:45,020 I like it, too. I just, I need to be able to go. 29 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,105 Yeah. 30 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,356 'Cause it's like, all day. 31 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:51,860 Yeah, you need to go out and go to a nice restaurant. 32 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,488 - Exactly, thank you for doing this. - With your amazing husband. 33 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,698 - Yes. With my amazing husband. - Yeah. 34 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:57,866 This place is great, right? 35 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,120 I really love it, and I'm so impressed that you found it, and... 36 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:05,040 I did my research. I looked online. You know, there's actually even, like, a hotel here. 37 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,542 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, it goes all the way up. 38 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,751 I bet it's so pretty. 39 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,004 We should plan an overnight trip. 40 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:16,385 We should put the kids with Peggy for the night, we should get a room and sleep in, 41 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,720 and we can watch The Bachelor if you want. 42 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,390 - I'll totally watch The Bachelor with you. - Would you? 43 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,308 And just be like we were when we were, like, 28. 44 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,561 - I think that would be awesome, right? - That would be so fun. 45 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,771 Let's get our calendars out when we get home... 46 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,773 - I would love it. - ...and we'll just see, you know? 47 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,990 This? 48 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,535 For tonight? 49 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,495 I told you I was full of surprises. 50 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,528 He's really a very attractive man. 51 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,239 - He's not nearly as heavy as... - Shh. Mom! 52 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,117 - Just grab a handful. - Honey, don't get started with that. 53 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,243 Honey, he doesn't mind. 54 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,412 No, I mean, stick your hand in there and really, really pull it... 55 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,872 - Daddy. - Honey. 56 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,081 - Pull, pull, pull. - Yes. 57 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,499 - Yeah! - Yeah. Yeah. 58 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,960 See? That's going nowhere. That hair is locked in. 59 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,128 - Really! - You have the stuff? 60 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,296 No. Your mother does. 61 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,298 We have a surprise for you. 62 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:41,845 - We have a little present from Mexico. - It's a surprise. 63 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,639 - It's Rogaine. - Honey, it's not... 64 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,432 Okay, it's Pelo Más. 65 00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:47,643 It's stronger than Rogaine. 66 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:48,977 You get it in Mexico. 67 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,437 It's more... Hair more. 68 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,356 You wanna wash your hands really good after you use it. 69 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,690 You need to wear gloves, honey. 70 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:58,237 Well, you really didn't have to do this, but thank you so much. 71 00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,321 It was very thoughtful. 72 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:03,825 After everything you've done for Kristina, I mean, that's the least we could do. 73 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:07,537 - Oh. What did she tell you that I've done? - Nothing. 74 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,499 You're her support system and you're looking after her, 75 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,793 - and we see that, and we know that. - Absolutely, absolutely. 76 00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,253 And you just adorable man! 77 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,103 It's Michelle. Hi. 78 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,854 - Hi, Tina. - Yeah? 79 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,691 - What's the matter? - I am in the bathroom... 80 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,193 - What's going on? - ...of a hotel right now, 81 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,028 that Brett brought me to. 82 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,156 I can't even hear you. Why is it so loud? 83 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,702 - It sounds like you're standing in a waterfall. - Yeah, I have the water on, 84 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,370 so he can't hear me talking to you. 85 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,831 Yeah, I can hear you. What's the matter? 86 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:54,626 Tina, he wants to have sex and I don't know what to do. 87 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,879 Honey, you gotta stop overthinking it, and you gotta stop talking about it, 88 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,133 - and just get it done. - I can't. I don't know if I can. 89 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:04,303 The whole situation seems insurmountable... 90 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,055 Get back in there, get your ass in the air and fuck your husband. 91 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,349 Okay, it's very hard. 92 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,227 If you have to suck his dick, go suck his dick. Pretend he's somebody else. 93 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,187 I don't care, but stop talking about it, stop calling me, 94 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:17,190 get off the phone right now and get in there and do it. 95 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,610 - Okay? And don't call me until you've done it. - Thank you. 96 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:21,945 Okay, I love you. 97 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,077 You fucking tell Brett and I will cut your balls off. 98 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,371 Great. 99 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,591 Hi. 100 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,596 Is it too much? 101 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:50,807 What? The... 102 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,602 Just the hotel, and the... 103 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,981 - There's a lot of naked ladies on the wall. - There are so many naked ladies. 104 00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,316 - You know, it's... - It's... 105 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,319 It's maybe, it's not your fault. 106 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,113 It's so nice, and so sweet, and I'm excited. 107 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:15,540 - I, listen, yeah, I just wanted this to be fun. - It's so fun, it's so nice. It's perfect. 108 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,251 It doesn't... But I'm just saying it doesn't... We don't have to have sex. 109 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,628 We can take sex off the table. 110 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:23,757 Let's just put it away, and let's have a nice, relaxing night. 111 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,592 There's a huge TV here. 112 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,554 I'm sure there are a ton of bad movies on it. Let's just watch a movie. 113 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,265 - Really? - Yeah. And we... That way we can just relax. 114 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,101 Brett. That sounds so nice. 115 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,727 - All right. - Okay. 116 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,271 I'm so happy. 117 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,150 - What do they have? - All right. 118 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,693 What do they have? 119 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,988 This is pretty exciting, I gotta say. 120 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,212 What are you ladies talking about? Vaginas and stuff? 121 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,548 - Oh, my God. - I need some information. 122 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,800 What exactly is a vagina, and how do I get one? 123 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,052 Oh, I can get you a vagina. 124 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,470 - Really? - Pam! 125 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,889 No, I mean, I didn't mean like that. Oh, my God. 126 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,015 Oh, my God! 127 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,518 I gotta go. I think I gotta go to the bathroom. I'm hot. 128 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,145 No, you're fine, you're fine. 129 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,396 I'm just trying to help you out here. 130 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,106 Oh, my God, I'm sweating. 131 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,774 All right, everybody, cheers! 132 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:23,859 - Cheers! - Bottoms up. 133 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,026 Bottoms up, y'all. 134 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,446 - You know what? I heard you say "y'all." - Yeah. Thank you. 135 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,572 And I like it. 136 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,907 - Oh, my God, oh, my God. - Okay. 137 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,159 Welcome to Texas. 138 00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,702 Thank you. 139 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,036 Where's Tiner wiener? 140 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,204 Oh. There she is. 141 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,373 Hey! Hey! Hey! 142 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,502 - He was cute. - I know! 143 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,463 You know, you're supposed to be teaching him how to dance. 144 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,547 I need a drink! 145 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,216 She's a little too busy being felt up by the Marlboro man. 146 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,634 Oh, he just grazed my nipple. 147 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,138 You want me to show you? 148 00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,556 - Really? - What? 149 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,349 - Yeah, I mean... - Great, yeah. 150 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,226 - Yeah, let's do it. - Okay. 151 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:04,941 Watch and learn. 152 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,570 - Oh, my God. - I gotta see this. 153 00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,238 Okay, you ready? 154 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,741 - All right, so just put your arms up like this... - Yeah. 155 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,451 Okay. And you need to be really strong. 156 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,077 - That's easy. I'm very strong. - Okay. 157 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,079 You can move your legs, you can move your feet, 158 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,456 move your body, but don't move your arms. 159 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,917 - Okay. - Actually, just put this arm here. 160 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:23,919 That's a good place for it. 161 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:27,506 - Y'all, they look like a couple. Off the bat. - I don't... Well, is he single? 162 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:28,924 Yeah. 163 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:30,592 - I would never date an actor. - Why? 164 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,385 Because they look like they would be a mess. 165 00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,137 They are. 166 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,639 - Are you, really? - I am. 167 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,349 - What grade? - I teach kindergarten. 168 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,642 Oh, my God, that's amazing. 169 00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,895 Yeah, it's really fun. I just get to play all day. 170 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,232 That's basically what I do. I'm unemployed. You know, for the most part. 171 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,608 No, you're an actor. 172 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,653 Yeah, but I'm really unemployed, you know? 173 00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:53,740 No. I'm sure, I think, you're probably just being, like, modest or something. 174 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,075 Maybe a little bit. 175 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,160 - I'm having fun. - Me, too. 176 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,415 Shake it, Pam! 177 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,377 Gotta drive... 178 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,922 I will give you this. This final shot is iconic. 179 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:10,757 - He's free. Mmm-hmm. 180 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,802 - Free! - It's his own personal bio-dome. 181 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:16,930 I gotta tell you. 182 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,100 - That was a brilliant choice, my friend. - Thanks. 183 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,735 I think that we should have sex. 184 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,995 Of all the things that brought you around, Bio-Dome is what gets, 185 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,871 - is what gets you in the mood? - Mmm-hmm. 186 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,668 No, I just, I think it's important. 187 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,255 I do, too. 188 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,925 Is there anything specific you want to do? 189 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,470 No. Don't worry. 190 00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,223 You're safe, I'm not gonna hit you. 191 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,100 - We're good? - Just regular. 192 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,185 - Regular? - Yeah. 193 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,228 Okay. 194 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,273 - Okay. - Awesome. 195 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,417 - Hi, hot stuff. - Hi. 196 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,210 You're nice. 197 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,885 - I love you. - I love you. 198 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,237 - Kiss me. Kiss me. - Yeah. 199 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,244 - Okay. - Okay. 200 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,421 Let me get the pillow. 201 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,174 Here you go. 202 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,931 I'm fine. 203 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,140 - You good? Okay. - Yeah. 204 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,767 - I just want you to be comfortable. - Okay. 205 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,275 - You're getting good at this, Alex. - You are awesome. 206 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,236 I can't really keep up with you. 207 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,780 - Look at him. Look at them! - Oh, my God. 208 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,282 They are so cute together. 209 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,660 - I know. They are cute. - Go, girl! 210 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,453 She's got, like, a twinkle in her eyes. 211 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,746 I know. 212 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,334 - I'm gonna go to the bathroom. - Okay. 213 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,631 I thought she was going to the bathroom. 214 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:00,343 She's up to something. 215 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:02,637 Oh. 216 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,097 - Damn, girl. - What? 217 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:05,765 Where you been? 218 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,018 You want some of this or what? 'Cause I'm not waiting around. 219 00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,146 - Depends. - On what? 220 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,022 - You want some of me? - Yeah. 221 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,151 - Do you? - Yeah, I really do. 222 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,822 Hey, can you spin me? 223 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,330 Nice moves. 224 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,503 - Were they taunting us just now? - I think they were. 225 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,589 - Should we do-si-do with them? - Yeah, let's do it. 226 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,133 - What should we do? - Okay, let's just double time. 227 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,676 - I think we'll catch them. Ready? Okay. - Okay. 228 00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:48,641 - Wait, I have an idea. - Okay. Following your lead. 229 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,061 Hey! 230 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,188 Yee-haw! 231 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,523 She's gonna be so mad. 232 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:56,983 Oh, he's so dead. 233 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,443 - You know that dude? - Yeah. 234 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:00,361 Yeah. 235 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,031 - I think we're in trouble. - I don't think so. 236 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,699 - That ain't cool. - Yes, we are. 237 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,784 Get that hat back. 238 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,162 Oh! Watch out. That's my hat, yeah! 239 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,914 Oh, dear. 240 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,499 Hey, can you dip me? 241 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,250 Yeah. Let's do it, then. 242 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,049 That's really impressive. 243 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,384 I don't know if I can do that. 244 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,346 Oh, well. 245 00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:32,519 - Do-si-do. - Okay, ready? 246 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,689 - Charleston, Charleston! - Okay, go. 247 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,025 Boom! 248 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,905 - I'll lasso you, cowgirl. - Okay. 249 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:44,989 I'm bringing you in. 250 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,160 You're on fire. 251 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,127 I think we won that, right? 252 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:01,047 - Did we win that? - It's not a competition. 253 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,430 Are you okay? 254 00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,474 Yeah, I'm fine, why? 255 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,686 - You? You good? - Yeah. I just, I... 256 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,980 I don't know. It doesn't feel like you're 257 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,482 totally hard. 258 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,569 No, I'm good. I just... Sorry, I slipped out a little bit. 259 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,571 - Okay. - I'm just gonna get this right here. 260 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,073 - Okay. - Can you move this leg a little bit? 261 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,575 - Where? - Yeah, right here. 262 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,202 - Perfect. Yeah. Here we go. - Okay. 263 00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:33,329 Okay. 264 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,707 Do you wanna... 265 00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,502 - What? - Do you want me to do something different? 266 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,839 No. Did you want to do something different? I'm sorry, I thought we were just... 267 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,799 - Do you want me to flip over? - ...grooving. 268 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,385 No, no, no, no. I'm good with this if you are. 269 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,554 Wait, are you saying you want to do something different? 270 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,097 - Or are you just asking? - No, I'm fine, I'm good. 271 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,182 - It's just whatever's happening... - I'm good. 272 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,726 Let's just, let's just get it going. I wanna... 273 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,561 I just feel like you're trying to pull my legs. 274 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,854 - Sorry, can we just not talk about it? - Can I... 275 00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:58,938 Can we just not talk about it for a second? 276 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,481 I just wanna get in, like, a rhythm, if that's okay. 277 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,400 - Are you good? - Yeah. 278 00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:04,527 I mean, if you need something, like, we should do it. 279 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,820 - But if you're... Okay. - No, no, no, no. 280 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,655 - I don't wanna, like, lose our momentum. - Great. Okay. 281 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,740 Know what I mean? 282 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:11,826 Okay, that's... 283 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:16,164 - That's good. - Why don't we just do, like, do something... 284 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,082 It's fine. Let's just, let's not... 285 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,294 Should I put my legs... 286 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,046 - Fuck. Hold on, hold on. - What if I put... 287 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,213 What! 288 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,007 God damn it! Fuck. 289 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,842 You know, I'm not a fucking 290 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,595 steel-rod boner man, okay? 291 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,763 I'm 37 years old. 292 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,139 - I can't have a boner 24/7. - Okay. 293 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,016 - I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. - Okay. 294 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:40,021 - Listen, I'm not asking you to be a steel rod... - It feels like you're asking that. 295 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,314 ...boner man. 296 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:45,068 - I was just trying to be helpful. - You know what? It's not helpful for me. 297 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,236 - It's not a big deal. - It is to me. It's a big deal to me. 298 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,698 Okay. You're getting defensive, and you're mad at me for some reason. 299 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,367 Yes, yes, I am mad at you, Michelle. 300 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,785 Why are... 301 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,536 Do you understand it's hard to get a rhythm going? 302 00:15:55,704 --> 00:16:00,333 I can't stop mid-fuck and have a meeting with you about whether this is the right angle. 303 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,669 Jesus Christ, Brett! I'm not trying to have a meeting. 304 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,879 I'm trying to have a conversation with my husband. 305 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,090 Can you loosen up a tiny bit? 306 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,424 I gotta get a rhythm going! 307 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,760 Can I not voice one opinion without you freaking out? 308 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:11,970 Yes, you can voice your opinions 309 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,014 but it's kind of hard to get a rhythm going when we're having conversations... 310 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,683 Will you stop saying "rhythm going"? 311 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:19,519 I can't have an international peace treaty about the state of my boner 312 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,312 in the middle of making love. It's crazy! 313 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,315 I was asking you if you were okay, I was trying to help. 314 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,776 Well, listen to me. It's a little hard for me to loosen up, 315 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:29,404 when I look down at my wife, and her eyes look right back up at me. 316 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:30,488 And you know what they say? 317 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,699 They say that she is dreading having sex with me. 318 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:35,576 - That's not true. - Michelle, it's true, okay, and you know what? 319 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,829 It might be a surprise to you, but listen to this. 320 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,580 It's not that easy for me, either. 321 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,959 I'm not in love with having sex with the same person after ten years, okay? 322 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,586 I'm just trying to make it work. I'm trying to get something functional. 323 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,006 I need a C-plus, and the routine, 324 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,050 the thing that I get into, is what gets me through it. Do you understand that? 325 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,136 Okay. This is all great. Can you keep your voice down? 326 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,303 - No, I... - 'Cause people can hear you. 327 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:56,431 I don't give a fuck who hears me, Michelle! 328 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,224 - I don't care! - I give a fuck! I care! 329 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,144 Clearly you don't care about anything that I care about. 330 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,062 How dare you fucking say that to me? 331 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:06,774 I do everything for you, and everything for the family. 332 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,609 I care too much about what everyone needs. 333 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:12,697 I'm holding the whole thing up, and the boner's just falling down, falling down. 334 00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,283 I'm holding it, and you can't fuck at all. It's impossible! 335 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,868 - That doesn't make any sense! - It's absurd! 336 00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:20,288 It's absurd! I cannot win. It's absurd! It's fucking crazy! 337 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,330 It's insane. 338 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,463 Yeah, he's got, like, a joke... 339 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,590 All right, well, thank you for the dance. 340 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,759 Thank you. 341 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,677 - Good night. - The dance? 342 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,471 - Good night! I mean it. - That's it? 343 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,307 I gotta take him home, 'cause he's drunk. 344 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,977 Thanks for the dance. See you later. 345 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,064 - Okay? - Thanks for nothing. 346 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,066 Don't be like that. 347 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,652 Get on, now. Hey, let's go. 348 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,154 See you guys tomorrow at lunch, yeah? 349 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,156 I was actually gonna hang out with Pam tonight. 350 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,867 What? 351 00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,327 - Yeah. - Oh. 352 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,538 But we gotta do all the stuff we gotta do, remember? 353 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,875 You know, I can take him in the morning. I can just drop him off at your place. 354 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,585 - It's fine, right? - Come on, cowboy. 355 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,420 We gotta get, we got a tight schedule. 356 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:10,922 Okay? 357 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,049 - We'll see you tomorrow at lunch. - All right. 358 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,426 Okay, come on. What are you doing? 359 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,807 - Oh, wait. You drive, 'cause I'm drunk. - You're drunk, I know. 360 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,351 - Just get in the car. - You're so sweet, you know that I'm drunk. 361 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:24,393 Get in the car. 362 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,646 - Don't push me. - Watch your head. 363 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:27,730 Bye, love you guys! 364 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,649 - Bye! - Love you too! 365 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:30,691 Get home safe. 366 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,988 - Hey, it was so nice to meet you. - Yeah. 367 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,615 - We're just gonna... - Yeah, it was great meeting you. 368 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,908 Yeah, it was really good. 369 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,201 Maybe we'll see you, you know, sooner. 370 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,536 Yeah, we'll, right... 371 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,750 I had a good time tonight. 372 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:48,835 I did, too. 373 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,380 Well... 374 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,559 Unbelievable. Unbelievable. 375 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,022 - Well... - Good night, Pam Watkins. 376 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,858 - Good night, Alex. - Good night. 377 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,028 - If you don't get me a fucking burger... - Yeah, I'll get you a burger. 378 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,071 I'm gonna fucking yak. 379 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,157 - Close the door. - Bye, Pam, I love you! 380 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,756 I am so sorry. 381 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,925 That was really 382 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,720 weird. 383 00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:47,768 That was a momentary lapse, and please excuse that, and 384 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:52,899 I wish I could take that back, and not say those things. I'm sorry. 385 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,946 But you did say those things. 386 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,533 And... 387 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,121 I just wanna know if that is how you feel. 388 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:09,999 Is that really how you feel? 389 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:18,799 Kind of. 390 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,394 I don't know. 391 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,356 I, seriously, I don't know what to do. 392 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,987 Would you wanna go talk to somebody with me? 393 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,243 I mean... 394 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,372 Sure. 395 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,218 You're in the crosswalk. 396 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,179 Really? Who gives a shit? It's 2:00 in the morning. 397 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,430 Well, just 398 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:07,974 go back a bit. 399 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,558 The light's gonna change any second now. 400 00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,353 What is the big deal? Just back up a little. 401 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:14,689 Okay, let's go. 402 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:20,069 - No. - No? Well... 403 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,737 It's green. 404 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:23,864 I don't give a shit. You know why? 405 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,200 'Cause you've been bossing me around this whole trip. 406 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,536 You've been bossing me around ever since I met you. 407 00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,579 But you're not gonna tell me how to drive. 408 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,998 This is dangerous, you fucking idiot! 409 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,834 That guy could have fucking killed us! 410 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:39,005 And you don't get to call me names, and you don't get to tell me who I can sleep with. 411 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:40,715 - What? - You heard me. 412 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,884 - I don't tell you who you can sleep with. - Are you kidding me? 413 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:49,223 That was the biggest cockblock in the history of cockblocks back there. 414 00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:52,476 I'm not just gonna let you sleep with my friend. 415 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,061 - Why not? - Because. 416 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,272 'Cause you're a bossy, cockblocking, control freak? 417 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,399 Because it's fucking weird, dude. 418 00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:59,483 What's weird about it? 419 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:03,738 It's weird because it's weird whenever you mix people with their friends. 420 00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,324 How can you not know that? The light is still green! 421 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:08,242 Oh, my God, I didn't know that! 422 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:12,538 So we can go out together, and you can go home with Larry Kozinski, 423 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,582 - but I can't go home with Pam Watkins. - That is so different! 424 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,125 Pam is my best friend! 425 00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:20,254 No. If I can't sleep with Pam, then you shouldn't be able to sleep with Larry. 426 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,884 - Just, you know, don't... - You are so fucked up, dude. 427 00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:27,553 You are so fucked up that it's, like, kind of incredible. 428 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:28,929 Just don't talk to me the rest of the night. 429 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,932 Could you possibly go when it's a green light? 430 00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:33,809 Oh, great. 431 00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:36,103 It's a red now. 432 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:59,335 You know what George Harrison's wife said when they asked her what the secret is 433 00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:01,128 to being married for so long? 434 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,799 No, I don't know what she said. 435 00:23:05,675 --> 00:23:06,842 Don't get divorced. 436 00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:21,482 - I don't want to get divorced. - I don't want to get divorced, either. 437 00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,010 Hey. 438 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,351 I'm really sorry about the cockblock. 439 00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,689 And I was thinking... 440 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:04,859 Maybe I could make it up to you 441 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,111 with a little handie. 442 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:11,949 Handjob. 443 00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,038 Really? 444 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:22,585 No. 445 00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:24,503 Are you crazy? 446 00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:25,921 I don't know. Are you? 447 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,090 No. 448 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,300 Well, okay. 449 00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:30,384 Thanks for that. 450 00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:36,223 You want a hug? 451 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,603 For real, or are you gonna give me a titty twister or something. 452 00:24:40,687 --> 00:24:42,104 For real. 453 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:44,565 Okay. 454 00:24:56,077 --> 00:24:57,369 Thank you for coming here. 455 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,332 Thank you for being my friend. 456 00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:08,881 You're welcome. 457 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,181 Good night. 458 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:19,850 Good night. 34765

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