Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,890
Are you kidding me?
I'm gonna come back for that.
2
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,183
Oh, yeah.
3
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:23,063
Okay, I can't wait. I wouldn't miss it.
I have to get off the phone.
4
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:27,109
I will. Okay. Bye.
5
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,279
He wants to take me to Palm...
6
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,700
He's gonna take me
to Palm Springs, in the desert.
7
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,454
- Cool.
- When we get back,
8
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,456
we should all do something, the three of us.
9
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,418
- Me, you, and Larry?
- Yes. Y'all hit it off at the party.
10
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:45,961
Did we?
11
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,758
Yes! Y'all were talking about actors
and movies.
12
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,760
Hmm. Yeah.
13
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,015
Anyway, thanks for coming
to Houston with me.
14
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,727
I told you I'd come, and I'm here.
15
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,160
- Wait, this is the valet?
- Yeah, it's the valet.
16
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,954
It's a new way of parking the car.
17
00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:22,498
You're gonna keep the car here?
18
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,083
I'm gonna let them take the car away.
19
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,834
- I'm gonna pay them for it.
- Brett.
20
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,961
Yeah, I'm full of surprises tonight.
21
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,089
Okay.
22
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,841
- Man, those couches.
- Cool.
23
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,385
- Think we're gonna have to fumigate.
- Yeah.
24
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,304
It's Fart City, USA,
in our living room.
25
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,347
Yeah.
26
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,431
It's crazy.
27
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:41,600
It's fun having everybody around.
Like a big soap opera.
28
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:45,020
I like it, too. I just, I need to be able to go.
29
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,105
Yeah.
30
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,356
'Cause it's like, all day.
31
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:51,860
Yeah, you need to go out
and go to a nice restaurant.
32
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,488
- Exactly, thank you for doing this.
- With your amazing husband.
33
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,698
- Yes. With my amazing husband.
- Yeah.
34
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:57,866
This place is great, right?
35
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,120
I really love it, and I'm so impressed
that you found it, and...
36
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:05,040
I did my research. I looked online. You know,
there's actually even, like, a hotel here.
37
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,542
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, it goes all the way up.
38
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,751
I bet it's so pretty.
39
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,004
We should plan an overnight trip.
40
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:16,385
We should put the kids with Peggy for the
night, we should get a room and sleep in,
41
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,720
and we can watch The Bachelor if you want.
42
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,390
- I'll totally watch The Bachelor with you.
- Would you?
43
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,308
And just be like we were when we were,
like, 28.
44
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,561
- I think that would be awesome, right?
- That would be so fun.
45
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,771
Let's get our calendars out
when we get home...
46
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,773
- I would love it.
- ...and we'll just see, you know?
47
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,990
This?
48
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,535
For tonight?
49
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,495
I told you I was full of surprises.
50
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,528
He's really a very attractive man.
51
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,239
- He's not nearly as heavy as...
- Shh. Mom!
52
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,117
- Just grab a handful.
- Honey, don't get started with that.
53
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,243
Honey, he doesn't mind.
54
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,412
No, I mean, stick your hand in there
and really, really pull it...
55
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,872
- Daddy.
- Honey.
56
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,081
- Pull, pull, pull.
- Yes.
57
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,499
- Yeah!
- Yeah. Yeah.
58
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,960
See? That's going nowhere.
That hair is locked in.
59
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,128
- Really!
- You have the stuff?
60
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,296
No. Your mother does.
61
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,298
We have a surprise for you.
62
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:41,845
- We have a little present from Mexico.
- It's a surprise.
63
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,639
- It's Rogaine.
- Honey, it's not...
64
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,432
Okay, it's Pelo Mรกs.
65
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:47,643
It's stronger than Rogaine.
66
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:48,977
You get it in Mexico.
67
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,437
It's more... Hair more.
68
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,356
You wanna wash your hands
really good after you use it.
69
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,690
You need to wear gloves, honey.
70
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:58,237
Well, you really didn't have to do this,
but thank you so much.
71
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,321
It was very thoughtful.
72
00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:03,825
After everything you've done for Kristina,
I mean, that's the least we could do.
73
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:07,537
- Oh. What did she tell you that I've done?
- Nothing.
74
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,499
You're her support system
and you're looking after her,
75
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,793
- and we see that, and we know that.
- Absolutely, absolutely.
76
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,253
And you just adorable man!
77
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,103
It's Michelle. Hi.
78
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,854
- Hi, Tina.
- Yeah?
79
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,691
- What's the matter?
- I am in the bathroom...
80
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,193
- What's going on?
- ...of a hotel right now,
81
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,028
that Brett brought me to.
82
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,156
I can't even hear you.
Why is it so loud?
83
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,702
- It sounds like you're standing in a waterfall.
- Yeah, I have the water on,
84
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,370
so he can't hear me talking to you.
85
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,831
Yeah, I can hear you. What's the matter?
86
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:54,626
Tina, he wants to have sex
and I don't know what to do.
87
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,879
Honey, you gotta stop overthinking it,
and you gotta stop talking about it,
88
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,133
- and just get it done.
- I can't. I don't know if I can.
89
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:04,303
The whole situation seems insurmountable...
90
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,055
Get back in there, get your ass in the air
and fuck your husband.
91
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,349
Okay, it's very hard.
92
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,227
If you have to suck his dick, go suck his dick.
Pretend he's somebody else.
93
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,187
I don't care,
but stop talking about it, stop calling me,
94
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:17,190
get off the phone right now
and get in there and do it.
95
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,610
- Okay? And don't call me until you've done it.
- Thank you.
96
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:21,945
Okay, I love you.
97
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,077
You fucking tell Brett
and I will cut your balls off.
98
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,371
Great.
99
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,591
Hi.
100
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,596
Is it too much?
101
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:50,807
What? The...
102
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,602
Just the hotel, and the...
103
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,981
- There's a lot of naked ladies on the wall.
- There are so many naked ladies.
104
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,316
- You know, it's...
- It's...
105
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,319
It's maybe, it's not your fault.
106
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,113
It's so nice, and so sweet, and I'm excited.
107
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:15,540
- I, listen, yeah, I just wanted this to be fun.
- It's so fun, it's so nice. It's perfect.
108
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,251
It doesn't... But I'm just saying
it doesn't... We don't have to have sex.
109
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,628
We can take sex off the table.
110
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:23,757
Let's just put it away,
and let's have a nice, relaxing night.
111
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,592
There's a huge TV here.
112
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,554
I'm sure there are a ton of bad movies on it.
Let's just watch a movie.
113
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,265
- Really?
- Yeah. And we... That way we can just relax.
114
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,101
Brett. That sounds so nice.
115
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,727
- All right.
- Okay.
116
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,271
I'm so happy.
117
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,150
- What do they have?
- All right.
118
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,693
What do they have?
119
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,988
This is pretty exciting, I gotta say.
120
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,212
What are you ladies talking about?
Vaginas and stuff?
121
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,548
- Oh, my God.
- I need some information.
122
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,800
What exactly is a vagina,
and how do I get one?
123
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,052
Oh, I can get you a vagina.
124
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,470
- Really?
- Pam!
125
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,889
No, I mean, I didn't mean like that.
Oh, my God.
126
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,015
Oh, my God!
127
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,518
I gotta go.
I think I gotta go to the bathroom. I'm hot.
128
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,145
No, you're fine, you're fine.
129
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,396
I'm just trying to help
you out here.
130
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,106
Oh, my God, I'm sweating.
131
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,774
All right, everybody, cheers!
132
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:23,859
- Cheers!
- Bottoms up.
133
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,026
Bottoms up, y'all.
134
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,446
- You know what? I heard you say "y'all."
- Yeah. Thank you.
135
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,572
And I like it.
136
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,907
- Oh, my God, oh, my God.
- Okay.
137
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,159
Welcome to Texas.
138
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,702
Thank you.
139
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,036
Where's Tiner wiener?
140
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,204
Oh. There she is.
141
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,373
Hey! Hey! Hey!
142
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,502
- He was cute.
- I know!
143
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,463
You know, you're supposed
to be teaching him how to dance.
144
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,547
I need a drink!
145
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,216
She's a little too busy being felt up
by the Marlboro man.
146
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,634
Oh, he just grazed my nipple.
147
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,138
You want me to show you?
148
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,556
- Really?
- What?
149
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,349
- Yeah, I mean...
- Great, yeah.
150
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,226
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Okay.
151
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:04,941
Watch and learn.
152
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,570
- Oh, my God.
- I gotta see this.
153
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,238
Okay, you ready?
154
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,741
- All right, so just put your arms up like this...
- Yeah.
155
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,451
Okay. And you need to be really strong.
156
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,077
- That's easy. I'm very strong.
- Okay.
157
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,079
You can move your legs,
you can move your feet,
158
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,456
move your body, but don't move your arms.
159
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,917
- Okay.
- Actually, just put this arm here.
160
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:23,919
That's a good place for it.
161
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:27,506
- Y'all, they look like a couple. Off the bat.
- I don't... Well, is he single?
162
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:28,924
Yeah.
163
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:30,592
- I would never date an actor.
- Why?
164
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,385
Because they look like they would be a mess.
165
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,137
They are.
166
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,639
- Are you, really?
- I am.
167
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,349
- What grade?
- I teach kindergarten.
168
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,642
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
169
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,895
Yeah, it's really fun. I just get to play all day.
170
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,232
That's basically what I do.
I'm unemployed. You know, for the most part.
171
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,608
No, you're an actor.
172
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,653
Yeah, but I'm really unemployed, you know?
173
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:53,740
No. I'm sure, I think, you're probably just
being, like, modest or something.
174
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,075
Maybe a little bit.
175
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,160
- I'm having fun.
- Me, too.
176
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,415
Shake it, Pam!
177
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,377
Gotta drive...
178
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,922
I will give you this. This final shot is iconic.
179
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:10,757
- He's free.
Mmm-hmm.
180
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,802
- Free!
- It's his own personal bio-dome.
181
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:16,930
I gotta tell you.
182
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,100
- That was a brilliant choice, my friend.
- Thanks.
183
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,735
I think that we should have sex.
184
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,995
Of all the things that brought you around,
Bio-Dome is what gets,
185
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,871
- is what gets you in the mood?
- Mmm-hmm.
186
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,668
No, I just, I think it's important.
187
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,255
I do, too.
188
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,925
Is there anything specific you want to do?
189
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,470
No. Don't worry.
190
00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,223
You're safe, I'm not gonna hit you.
191
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,100
- We're good?
- Just regular.
192
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,185
- Regular?
- Yeah.
193
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,228
Okay.
194
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,273
- Okay.
- Awesome.
195
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,417
- Hi, hot stuff.
- Hi.
196
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,210
You're nice.
197
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,885
- I love you.
- I love you.
198
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,237
- Kiss me. Kiss me.
- Yeah.
199
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,244
- Okay.
- Okay.
200
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,421
Let me get the pillow.
201
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,174
Here you go.
202
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,931
I'm fine.
203
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,140
- You good? Okay.
- Yeah.
204
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,767
- I just want you to be comfortable.
- Okay.
205
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,275
- You're getting good at this, Alex.
- You are awesome.
206
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,236
I can't really keep up with you.
207
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,780
- Look at him. Look at them!
- Oh, my God.
208
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,282
They are so cute together.
209
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,660
- I know. They are cute.
- Go, girl!
210
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,453
She's got, like, a twinkle
in her eyes.
211
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,746
I know.
212
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,334
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- Okay.
213
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,631
I thought she was going to the bathroom.
214
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:00,343
She's up to something.
215
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:02,637
Oh.
216
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,097
- Damn, girl.
- What?
217
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:05,765
Where you been?
218
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,018
You want some of this or what?
'Cause I'm not waiting around.
219
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,146
- Depends.
- On what?
220
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,022
- You want some of me?
- Yeah.
221
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,151
- Do you?
- Yeah, I really do.
222
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,822
Hey, can you spin me?
223
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,330
Nice moves.
224
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,503
- Were they taunting us just now?
- I think they were.
225
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,589
- Should we do-si-do with them?
- Yeah, let's do it.
226
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,133
- What should we do?
- Okay, let's just double time.
227
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,676
- I think we'll catch them. Ready? Okay.
- Okay.
228
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:48,641
- Wait, I have an idea.
- Okay. Following your lead.
229
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,061
Hey!
230
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,188
Yee-haw!
231
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,523
She's gonna be so mad.
232
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:56,983
Oh, he's so dead.
233
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,443
- You know that dude?
- Yeah.
234
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:00,361
Yeah.
235
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,031
- I think we're in trouble.
- I don't think so.
236
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,699
- That ain't cool.
- Yes, we are.
237
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,784
Get that hat back.
238
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,162
Oh! Watch out. That's my hat, yeah!
239
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,914
Oh, dear.
240
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,499
Hey, can you dip me?
241
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,250
Yeah. Let's do it, then.
242
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,049
That's really impressive.
243
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,384
I don't know if I can do that.
244
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,346
Oh, well.
245
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:32,519
- Do-si-do.
- Okay, ready?
246
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,689
- Charleston, Charleston!
- Okay, go.
247
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,025
Boom!
248
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,905
- I'll lasso you, cowgirl.
- Okay.
249
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:44,989
I'm bringing you in.
250
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,160
You're on fire.
251
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,127
I think we won that, right?
252
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:01,047
- Did we win that?
- It's not a competition.
253
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,430
Are you okay?
254
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,474
Yeah, I'm fine, why?
255
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,686
- You? You good?
- Yeah. I just, I...
256
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,980
I don't know. It doesn't feel like you're
257
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,482
totally hard.
258
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,569
No, I'm good. I just...
Sorry, I slipped out a little bit.
259
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,571
- Okay.
- I'm just gonna get this right here.
260
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,073
- Okay.
- Can you move this leg a little bit?
261
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,575
- Where?
- Yeah, right here.
262
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,202
- Perfect. Yeah. Here we go.
- Okay.
263
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:33,329
Okay.
264
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,707
Do you wanna...
265
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,502
- What?
- Do you want me to do something different?
266
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,839
No. Did you want to do something different?
I'm sorry, I thought we were just...
267
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,799
- Do you want me to flip over?
- ...grooving.
268
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,385
No, no, no, no. I'm good with this
if you are.
269
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,554
Wait, are you saying you want
to do something different?
270
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,097
- Or are you just asking?
- No, I'm fine, I'm good.
271
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,182
- It's just whatever's happening...
- I'm good.
272
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,726
Let's just, let's just get it going. I wanna...
273
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,561
I just feel like you're trying to pull my legs.
274
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,854
- Sorry, can we just not talk about it?
- Can I...
275
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:58,938
Can we just not talk about it for a second?
276
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,481
I just wanna get in, like, a rhythm,
if that's okay.
277
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,400
- Are you good?
- Yeah.
278
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:04,527
I mean, if you need something,
like, we should do it.
279
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,820
- But if you're... Okay.
- No, no, no, no.
280
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,655
- I don't wanna, like, lose our momentum.
- Great. Okay.
281
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,740
Know what I mean?
282
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:11,826
Okay, that's...
283
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:16,164
- That's good.
- Why don't we just do, like, do something...
284
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,082
It's fine. Let's just, let's not...
285
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,294
Should I put my legs...
286
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,046
- Fuck. Hold on, hold on.
- What if I put...
287
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,213
What!
288
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,007
God damn it! Fuck.
289
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,842
You know, I'm not a fucking
290
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,595
steel-rod boner man, okay?
291
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,763
I'm 37 years old.
292
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,139
- I can't have a boner 24/7.
- Okay.
293
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,016
- I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.
- Okay.
294
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:40,021
- Listen, I'm not asking you to be a steel rod...
- It feels like you're asking that.
295
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,314
...boner man.
296
00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:45,068
- I was just trying to be helpful.
- You know what? It's not helpful for me.
297
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,236
- It's not a big deal.
- It is to me. It's a big deal to me.
298
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,698
Okay. You're getting defensive,
and you're mad at me for some reason.
299
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,367
Yes, yes, I am mad at you, Michelle.
300
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,785
Why are...
301
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,536
Do you understand
it's hard to get a rhythm going?
302
00:15:55,704 --> 00:16:00,333
I can't stop mid-fuck and have a meeting
with you about whether this is the right angle.
303
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,669
Jesus Christ, Brett!
I'm not trying to have a meeting.
304
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,879
I'm trying to have
a conversation with my husband.
305
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,090
Can you loosen up a tiny bit?
306
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,424
I gotta get a rhythm going!
307
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,760
Can I not voice one opinion
without you freaking out?
308
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:11,970
Yes, you can voice your opinions
309
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,014
but it's kind of hard to get a rhythm going
when we're having conversations...
310
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,683
Will you stop saying "rhythm going"?
311
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:19,519
I can't have an international peace treaty
about the state of my boner
312
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,312
in the middle of making love. It's crazy!
313
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,315
I was asking you if you were okay,
I was trying to help.
314
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,776
Well, listen to me.
It's a little hard for me to loosen up,
315
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:29,404
when I look down at my wife,
and her eyes look right back up at me.
316
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:30,488
And you know what they say?
317
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,699
They say that she is dreading
having sex with me.
318
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:35,576
- That's not true.
- Michelle, it's true, okay, and you know what?
319
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,829
It might be a surprise to you,
but listen to this.
320
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,580
It's not that easy for me, either.
321
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,959
I'm not in love with having sex
with the same person after ten years, okay?
322
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,586
I'm just trying to make it work.
I'm trying to get something functional.
323
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,006
I need a C-plus, and the routine,
324
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,050
the thing that I get into, is what gets me
through it. Do you understand that?
325
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,136
Okay. This is all great.
Can you keep your voice down?
326
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,303
- No, I...
- 'Cause people can hear you.
327
00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:56,431
I don't give a fuck who hears me, Michelle!
328
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,224
- I don't care!
- I give a fuck! I care!
329
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,144
Clearly you don't care about anything
that I care about.
330
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,062
How dare you fucking say that to me?
331
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:06,774
I do everything for you,
and everything for the family.
332
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,609
I care too much about what everyone needs.
333
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:12,697
I'm holding the whole thing up, and the
boner's just falling down, falling down.
334
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,283
I'm holding it, and you can't fuck at all.
It's impossible!
335
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,868
- That doesn't make any sense!
- It's absurd!
336
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:20,288
It's absurd! I cannot win.
It's absurd! It's fucking crazy!
337
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,330
It's insane.
338
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,463
Yeah, he's got, like, a joke...
339
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,590
All right, well, thank you for the dance.
340
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,759
Thank you.
341
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,677
- Good night.
- The dance?
342
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,471
- Good night! I mean it.
- That's it?
343
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,307
I gotta take him home, 'cause he's drunk.
344
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,977
Thanks for the dance. See you later.
345
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,064
- Okay?
- Thanks for nothing.
346
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,066
Don't be like that.
347
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,652
Get on, now. Hey, let's go.
348
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,154
See you guys tomorrow at lunch, yeah?
349
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,156
I was actually gonna hang out
with Pam tonight.
350
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,867
What?
351
00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,327
- Yeah.
- Oh.
352
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,538
But we gotta do all the stuff
we gotta do, remember?
353
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,875
You know, I can take him in the morning.
I can just drop him off at your place.
354
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,585
- It's fine, right?
- Come on, cowboy.
355
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,420
We gotta get, we got a tight schedule.
356
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:10,922
Okay?
357
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,049
- We'll see you tomorrow at lunch.
- All right.
358
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,426
Okay, come on. What are you doing?
359
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,807
- Oh, wait. You drive, 'cause I'm drunk.
- You're drunk, I know.
360
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,351
- Just get in the car.
- You're so sweet, you know that I'm drunk.
361
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:24,393
Get in the car.
362
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,646
- Don't push me.
- Watch your head.
363
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:27,730
Bye, love you guys!
364
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,649
- Bye!
- Love you too!
365
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:30,691
Get home safe.
366
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,988
- Hey, it was so nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
367
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,615
- We're just gonna...
- Yeah, it was great meeting you.
368
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,908
Yeah, it was really good.
369
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,201
Maybe we'll see you,
you know, sooner.
370
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,536
Yeah, we'll, right...
371
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,750
I had a good time tonight.
372
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:48,835
I did, too.
373
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,380
Well...
374
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,559
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
375
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,022
- Well...
- Good night, Pam Watkins.
376
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,858
- Good night, Alex.
- Good night.
377
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,028
- If you don't get me a fucking burger...
- Yeah, I'll get you a burger.
378
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,071
I'm gonna fucking yak.
379
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,157
- Close the door.
- Bye, Pam, I love you!
380
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,756
I am so sorry.
381
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,925
That was really
382
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,720
weird.
383
00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:47,768
That was a momentary lapse,
and please excuse that, and
384
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:52,899
I wish I could take that back,
and not say those things. I'm sorry.
385
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,946
But you did say those things.
386
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,533
And...
387
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,121
I just wanna know if that is how you feel.
388
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:09,999
Is that really how you feel?
389
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:18,799
Kind of.
390
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,394
I don't know.
391
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,356
I, seriously, I don't know what to do.
392
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,987
Would you wanna go talk
to somebody with me?
393
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,243
I mean...
394
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,372
Sure.
395
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,218
You're in the crosswalk.
396
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,179
Really? Who gives a shit?
It's 2:00 in the morning.
397
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,430
Well, just
398
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:07,974
go back a bit.
399
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,558
The light's gonna change any second now.
400
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,353
What is the big deal? Just back up a little.
401
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:14,689
Okay, let's go.
402
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:20,069
- No.
- No? Well...
403
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,737
It's green.
404
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:23,864
I don't give a shit.
You know why?
405
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,200
'Cause you've been bossing me
around this whole trip.
406
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,536
You've been bossing me around
ever since I met you.
407
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,579
But you're not gonna tell me how to drive.
408
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,998
This is dangerous, you fucking idiot!
409
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,834
That guy could have fucking killed us!
410
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:39,005
And you don't get to call me names, and you
don't get to tell me who I can sleep with.
411
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:40,715
- What?
- You heard me.
412
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,884
- I don't tell you who you can sleep with.
- Are you kidding me?
413
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:49,223
That was the biggest cockblock
in the history of cockblocks back there.
414
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:52,476
I'm not just gonna let you sleep
with my friend.
415
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,061
- Why not?
- Because.
416
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,272
'Cause you're a bossy,
cockblocking, control freak?
417
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,399
Because it's fucking weird, dude.
418
00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:59,483
What's weird about it?
419
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:03,738
It's weird because it's weird whenever
you mix people with their friends.
420
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,324
How can you not know that?
The light is still green!
421
00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:08,242
Oh, my God, I didn't know that!
422
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:12,538
So we can go out together,
and you can go home with Larry Kozinski,
423
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,582
- but I can't go home with Pam Watkins.
- That is so different!
424
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,125
Pam is my best friend!
425
00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:20,254
No. If I can't sleep with Pam, then you
shouldn't be able to sleep with Larry.
426
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,884
- Just, you know, don't...
- You are so fucked up, dude.
427
00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:27,553
You are so fucked up that it's,
like, kind of incredible.
428
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:28,929
Just don't talk to me the rest of the night.
429
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,932
Could you possibly go
when it's a green light?
430
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:33,809
Oh, great.
431
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:36,103
It's a red now.
432
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:59,335
You know what George Harrison's wife said
when they asked her what the secret is
433
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:01,128
to being married for so long?
434
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,799
No, I don't know what she said.
435
00:23:05,675 --> 00:23:06,842
Don't get divorced.
436
00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:21,482
- I don't want to get divorced.
- I don't want to get divorced, either.
437
00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,010
Hey.
438
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,351
I'm really sorry about the cockblock.
439
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,689
And I was thinking...
440
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:04,859
Maybe I could make it up to you
441
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,111
with a little handie.
442
00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:11,949
Handjob.
443
00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,038
Really?
444
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:22,585
No.
445
00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:24,503
Are you crazy?
446
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:25,921
I don't know. Are you?
447
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,090
No.
448
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,300
Well, okay.
449
00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:30,384
Thanks for that.
450
00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:36,223
You want a hug?
451
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,603
For real, or are you gonna give me
a titty twister or something.
452
00:24:40,687 --> 00:24:42,104
For real.
453
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:44,565
Okay.
454
00:24:56,077 --> 00:24:57,369
Thank you for coming here.
455
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,332
Thank you for being my friend.
456
00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:08,881
You're welcome.
457
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,181
Good night.
458
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:19,850
Good night.
34765
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.