All language subtitles for The.Thief.His.Wife.and.the.Canoe.S01E02.2160p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.265-RAWR_track3_[eng]

I'm going to fake my death.

We'll be able to claim
the life insurance.

Don't let me down, now.

Police, please.

I think my husband
might be missing.

Or you could just tell the boys.

If it ever goes tits up,

they'd be implicated then,
wouldn't they?

He's gonna be fine.

No, sweetheart.

I think we've lost him.
I really do.

I'm afraid they are now
calling the search off, Anne.

Where's the last place anyone
would ever think of looking?

Next bloody door!

To be honest with you, Anne,

this is pretty much
case closed for us now.

John!

For heaven's sake,
someone will see you!

See who?

I'm dead.

Right. Come on, Dobbin.

Shake a leg. Work to do.

We'll start with Mutual Assured.

I think you'll find they owe me
136,000 of your Earth pounds.

And you will go out
through number four, won't you?

Obviously.

And don't let them
give you any nonsense.

They owe us, fair and square.

Good morning. Assured Mutual.
How can I help you?

Oh, hello. Could you tell me
who I need to speak to

about making
a life-insurance claim, please?

Uh, hold the line, please.

I'll just put you through
to the relevant department.

Sadly, no, they've not found
his body yet, I'm afraid.

Right. Um, sorry.
Would you mind holding again?

Yes, I'll hold.

What do you mean,
they need to discuss it?

Just that.

No-body claims have
their own rules, apparently.

It's all quite complicated,
so they need to discuss it.

I knew this would happen.

You've let them bully you, Anne.

This was nothing to do
with being bullied.

These are simply their rules.

You can't be trusted.
I should have done it myself.

Oh, my God.
I wish you had bloody drowned.

I beg your pardon?

You are so selfish.

Me, selfish?

You literally never think
about what this

is like for me, do you?

What it's like to be terrified

of every single
knock on the door.

Wondering
if it's the bailiffs again,

or another well-wisher
wanting to give me a hug

I don't deserve,

or the police saying,
"We know what you did."

All you ever say is,
"The worst is over, love."

Well, it might be for you,
but let me tell you,

it is most certainly not for me.

On an hourly basis, John--
on an hourly basis,

I am still having to
lie to my parents,

to strangers, and to our sons.

So for me, every day is still
utterly, utterly awful!

Well, I'm sorry
I'm not actually dead, Anne.

And I'm sure you would love
to have all that insurance money

to yourself.

Ring Mutual Assured
and tell them

you want a proper meeting,
face to face.

And don't take no for an answer.

And remember the boys
are coming tonight.

So pick up your dirty washing, please.

And put the toilet seat down.

All I'm saying is,
you read about people,

don't you, in the papers?

People who've had a stroke or
banged their head or something

and got amnesia,
and they end up...

I don't know,
living on the streets

or in some hostel or wherever,

and then they just suddenly
turn up,

however many months later,

not knowing
what the hell happened.

They found his canoe, though,
Ant, all smashed up.

Well, exactly.
That's what I'm saying.

What if it was smashed up
because it got hit

by a bigger boat and...

Dad had a head injury, but...

but managed to swim to shore?

Well, it's certainly possible.

We should never
give up hope, should we, Mam?

- See you in the morning.
- I'll see you in the morning.

- Right.
- Night, mate.

- Night, darling.
- Night, darling.

- Love you, Mam.
- I love you, too.

Sleep well, all right?
Get some rest.

Yes. You sleep well, too.

Your move, John boy.

Someone...

has been a very naughty
lady dragon

and is going to be punished

with a smacked bottom.

And so, what I am here today
to tell you, Mrs. Darwin...

...is that, unfortunately,

Mutual Assured is not currently
in a position

to be able to pay out
on your husband's policy.

Oh. Right.

I'm sorry if that
comes as a bit of a shock.

It does a bit, yes.
Can I ask why?

The problem is that

you have no death certificate.

But the police found
his smashed-up canoe.

They've closed the case.

As far as they're concerned,
he is definitely dead.

And I don't doubt it.

But as far as the coroner
is concerned,

he can't be declared dead

until the requisite period
of time has passed.

Oh.

And once that period
has passed

and he is then able
to hold an inquest

and thus issue a certificate,

then, of course,
we'll be delighted

to honour the claim.

Right.
And how long might that be,

then, that requisite period,
in a no-body case?

How long would normally that be, roughly?

The standard time in a case
like this, Mrs. Darwin,

the usual period,
is seven years.

I'm sorry?

Give or take.

Right. We had no idea.

I mean, my boys and I--
we had absolutely no--

seven?

Oh, Lord.

I'm so sorry.

Uh...

Afraid I have another meeting.

Oh. Yes. Of course.
I'll see you out.

One last thing I should add.

If you do let the premiums lapse
during those seven years,

then the policy would become
void, I'm afraid,

with no payment due at all,

death certificate or no.

Right.

Okay. Well, good day to you,
Mrs. Darwin.

And once again, my sincere
condolences on your loss.

It's actually very simple.

What we ne--
What you need to do...

Me?

You need to utilise
the sympathy factor.

The what?

People feel sorry for you.
You said it last week.

They think it's awful
what you've been through.

- It is awful.
- So we need to exploit that.

We need to use your pain
and misery

and the boys' grief
to get what we need.

So...

So you go to them--
the police--

and you tell them how
completely impossible it is

for you to move on,
to get closure,

because you will never, ever
truly accept that I am dead

until you have a death
certificate in your hand.

- John.
- And then you plead with them--

you beg them, Anne.

Oh, you sob and you cry,

and you beg them
to persuade the coroner

to hold an inquest,
and not in seven years.

No, not in five, four,
three, two, one, but now.

Right now.
In fact, you insist,

because it is your right.

You want me to exploit

people's genuine sympathy
for your benefit?

Well, obviously don't
put it like that, but yes.

And actually,
it's for our benefit.

That's nitpicking,
I know, but still.

Every time I think you can't
sink any lower, you surprise me.

No, John, I will not do it.
I will not.

- Anne.
- You're not gonna persuade me

this time. No. I won't.

Just no.

So...

you expect me to just sit
in that stinking room

for the next seven years,
do you?

I don't expect anything of you,
John.

Nothing.

Well, maybe I will
turn myself in, then.

Maybe I'll turn myself in
and tell them everything.

I wonder how long we'll get.

It's a white-collar crime,
but still,

be a few years, I'd imagine.

And you'd probably
miss Anthony's wedding.

Hello. How can I help you?

Good afternoon.
I'm here to collect

a duplicate birth certificate

in the name
of John Jones, please.

John Jones. Okay.

The problem is, the only person
who can permit the coroner

to expedite an inquest
is the actual home secretary.

The thing is, June...

I just don't know
how we can move on.

My boys and I...

without a body or a certificate,

with nothing to hold onto,

I just don't know how we can
ever truly move on.

I will call him again.

Yes!

She just said
she'd call him again.

I know, but I feel it, Anne,

I do, in my bones,
that we'll get there.

And now we have this.

That means I can get
a new passport,

and then we're flying, love, literally.

We're flying off to live
somewhere warm and beautiful,

away from all this
endless bloody cold and rain

and people wanting to stop you
making something of yourself.

And we can start again,

just the two of us,

and go back to
how it used to be,

when we used to laugh and...

have hopes

and were happy.

No?

And I am sorry, love,

that it's taken so much longer
than we thought.

And I-I do appreciate
everything you've done.

But I do also genuinely feel

that things are going to start
to get easier now.

I really do.

Except it wasn't nearly over.

The days of waiting
turned to weeks,

which turned to months,

which turned to bleak
midwinter.

And when I wasn't terrified
of being found out

by the insurance companies...

...I was still having to
deal with the bailiffs.

Are you in there, Mrs. Darwin?

Can you come to the door, please?

So whilst we waited for
an answer from the coroner,

I spent my days trying
to fend off the banks...

...as John applied
for a new passport

with his fake identity

and started searching the world
for somewhere we could live.

And then it was
Christmas again.

Hello!
- Hey, Mam.

- Hiya.
- How are you?

All right. How are you?
You all right?

Oh.

There you are, Mam.

Okay. "What do you give a dog
for Christmas?"

Uh, I don't know. What do you
give a dog for Christmas?

"A mobile bone."

- Oh.
- Mobile bone.

- Do you want a top-up, Grandad?
- Oh, yeah.

Uh, "Why did the pony
have to gargle?"

"Why did the pony
have to gargle?"

Why? Um, don't know.

Because it was a little horse.

It was a little horse.

Come on, we had that one
last year.

Right.

Looks really good, Mam.

- To Dad.
- Aye.

- To John.
- To Dad.

To John.

To my boy.

We drove past
Butler's Hill on the way up,

and the snow
was starting to fall,

and it reminded me of
that sledge we built with Dad.

- Yeah. Um, Snow Rider.
- Yeah.

How long
did we spend making that?

Oh, a year?
And it lasted one go.

No, no, I don't have children.

Not really my thing.

And after the cancer took Anne,
I guess...

I'm looking for the next
big adventure.

Professional and personal.

Right. Sure.

I mean, you ever thought
of investing out here?

That's so funny.

Well, I think I told you
about my affinity with horses.

Well, it's almost a spiritual
thing, really, and--

Mince pie?

Yes, thank you, love.

Please.

How is everyone?

All gone now.

The boys had to visit
Lou and Flick's families.

Right.

You could go, too, John.

I'm sorry?

You could go.

Have the life you seem
to really want.

But this is the life
I really want, with you.

Is it?

Yes, of course.

Happy Christmas.

It's just a bit of fun.

It's just a game.

It-- It doesn't mean anything.
It's just a game.

And then, finally,
in February,

John got the news
he'd been waiting for.

When he first went missing,

I stayed up all night.

I didn't go to bed for days.

It was a nightmare.

And it's still going on.

I feel very much in limbo.

People die.

They have a funeral.
They have a headstone.

There's something to mark the
fact they existed on this Earth.

But... without a body...

I don't know
how we can mark John's life.

It's the same for the boys.

They need help to move on.

There was no indication, from
our extensive investigation,

that Mr. Darwin could have
staged his disappearance

in any way.

What we do know, however,
is that the canoe

was barely watertight,
let alone seaworthy,

so we believe the most likely
scenario is the vessel sank,

and Mr. Darwin was carried
into the shipping lanes

by the treacherous currents
off North Gare beach,

where we believe
he very sadly drowned,

with his body almost certainly
then being swept out to sea.

Sadly, we will probably
never know for sure

what happened that day,

which is no comfort
to the family,

but is why I can now record
an open verdict

and declare John Ronald Darwin
missing, presumed dead.

I very much hope you now
have an opportunity

to move on with your lives.

Over the next few months,
we received cheques

for nearly a quarter
of a million pounds,

which meant we could pay off
the global mortgage

and finally start selling
the rental houses.

All 12 of them.

Two months after the inquest,
his new passport arrived.

It was all going to his plan.

What could possibly go wrong?

What the fuck?

Swore blind it was him.

Worked with him
at Holme House Prison, he said.

Alan Hudson.

I remember Alan.

Just walking along
the promenade, he said.

I mean, no one would like him
to be alive more than me, June.

You've not seen anyone
who you thought...

looked like him?

- But with a beard?
- But with a beard.

I'm really sorry, no.

I mean, if I did,
did you want me to call you?

If you wouldn't mind, at least
so as we could eliminate them.

Of course. Happy to do that.

Thanks, Anne.

I think it might be sensible
for me to go away for a bit.

I've been researching
some business opportunities

for us in America.

And now I have my new passport,

I thought I might head there
for a week or so.

Kill two birds with one stone,
as it were.

Could you get me some cash out?

Please.

A part of me was almost
relieved when he left.

Almost.

And then just
two weeks later...

She told me it was
a watertight investment.

Stupid tart.

How much?

- 50.
-£50,000?!

Dollars.
I'm not that daft.

And what else
didn't she give you?

It was never like that.

She said she had a ranch
we could invest in.

It was just business.

Can I come through?

Do what you like.
You will anyway.

And so that was that.

And now we settled back
into a dull routine,

with the next two years passing
in the opposite of a blur.

John kept searching
for his dream.

I kept working and saw no one
other than family.

Very occasionally,
we would fly to another country

to see if we could live there.

John would lose
some more money,

and then we'd fly home
to drink wine on our own,

waiting for something
to change.

And then, finally, one day,

against all the odds, it did.

It has anonymous bank accounts.

It's not obsessed
with law and order,

meaning you can actually
get stuff done.

It's Catholic--
that's one for you there.

And last but not least,
it's just beautiful.

So what first attracted you
to the low-tax,

high-corruption country
of Panama, John Darwin?

It looks very lovely,
but it's 10,000 miles away.

It's 5,000.

It's another world.

Well, like I said before,
that's exactly what we need--

a fresh start,
a brave new world.

So...

what would our life be there?

Well, whatever
we wanted it to be.

But...

I've been looking into...

ecotourism.

So we buy a plot of land
in a scenic spot somewhere,

near a lake or a river
or hiking trails,

and we build some cabins--
one for us,

and others we just
rent out to tourists--

and then we start
advertising it.

Riding, swimming, rafting.

I mean, what a life
that would be, Anne.

And-- And I know that
in the past,

I've sometimes bitten off
more than I could chew.

But I really think
this one is doable.

I genuinely do.

How would the boys visit?

Well, I don't know, but they
visit here okay, don't they?

Except we'd be living
as man and wife there.

I presume?

Well, of course we would.

And as for the boys...

Okay, so this time,

I'm not going to pretend that
I've got all the answers yet.

But we'll work something out.
Haven't we always?

No.

And if you liked the idea,
I think they'd support you.

I think they'd want you...

to be happy.

What I suggest, first up--

we just take a holiday there.

Look at some land and just...

we play it by ear.

We just... see how it feels.

What do you say?

I need to speak to the boys.

Did you not consider Alicante,
Mam,

if you just wanted warm?

I also want
a bit of an adventure.

I've spent the last four years
rattling around

that great big house on my own.

Every day the same,
every day looking out

to where your father...

I just wanted a change,
a bit of sunshine.

I thought you'd be pleased
for me.

And we are. Sorry.

I think we're a bit surprised,
that's all.

But it's a great idea.

And you're right--
maybe an adventure's

exactly what
you need right now.

Will you stop
bloody slowing down?

What if I see somebody I know?

Love...

you're acting daft.

Or I'm not coming.

It says taxi that way.

Okay.

This is more than
5,000 miles away.

Wait till you see the land
we're visiting.

It really is out of this world.

And this is my wife, Karina.

Karina, this is Anne and John
who I told you about.

- Oh, hello.
- Hello.

Lovely to meet you.

Uh, so how was your trip?

Muy bueno, gracias.

- Oh!
- Oh, very good.

You are honorary
Panamanians already.

Yeah, but that's actually
all she knows.

Oh, sorry.

So what's the plan, Mario?

Okay. So we start first thing
tomorrow.

There are two plots
we will see in the morning,

one in the afternoon,

and then we'll do
the same each day.

So three or four a day
till either I wear you out

or you find your dream.

Hopefully the latter.
Sounds good?

- Sounds good.
- Oh, sorry, would you mind?

It's just a thing we do
with our clients.

Aside from the initial lie,

this was easily
the most stupid thing we did

in those five and a half years.

Annie!

Shake a leg, love!

We'll be late
for the next appointment.

Can't we just buy this one?

You said that
about the last one.

And all three yesterday.

Could we actually do this,
John?

Do the numbers actually work?

I think so.

I need more time to go through
them all in detail, but...

my gut tells me yes.

And has my gut let us down yet?

Over the next two weeks,
we saw dozens of plots

through several agents,

each one more beautiful
than the last.

And I can't deny,

I slightly started
to fall in love.

And we could do
painting classes,

maybe get in some
local artists to teach,

and cooking courses
using local produce.

I bet we could even grow
our own vegetables.

What?

Nothing.

I'd just forgotten how pretty
you are when you smile.

Be quiet.

It's true.

Well, it's been a long time
since I've felt like I could.

And maybe I'm being stupid

letting myself
get carried away with it.

You're not being stupid at all.

I mean, I'm not saying
it'll all be easy.

We've got a lot of baggage,
as they say.

And I think we have to accept
that we can't change the past,

what we've done.

But I do wonder if here,
at least,

we can live alongside it
a little more comfortably.

Not pretend it never happened,

just let other things
be important again as well.

Like sun.

And smiles. And s--

Shush!

Which is all very well and good,
John,

but we do still have
two sons back home.

And my mam and dad.
And your dad.

And every time I kid myself
there could be a way forward,

I always come back to them
and what I've done to them all.

And I get that.

But my dad's very old

and not long for this world,

and no offence,
but yours neither, probably,

as sad though it is.

So that leaves the boys.

And here's the thing, love.

I listen to them
when they come up,

talking round
the kitchen table with you.

I listen to them always.

And let me tell you one thing
I know for sure.

They are happy.

You've done your job.

They're going to be okay.

So don't ever lose sight
of that.

- Con gusto.
- Gracias.

De nada.

To happiness.

To happiness.

We went back and forth several
times over the next year

and in the end
bought a lovely apartment

in a quiet part of the city
overlooking the sea.

Having also found
a plot of land we liked,

we agreed John would stay
to push that through...

...whilst I went back
to Seaton Carew

to finally sell
the two remaining houses.

ADT Bank. How can I help?

Oh, hello.
I hope you can help, please.

I want to transfer
a sum of money

from my deposit account
in the UK

to an American bank in Panama.

Certainly.
Would you mind holding?

Yes, I'll hold.

And then it was time
to tell the boys.

And starting up
your own business, Mam,

in a foreign country,
you feel...

confident you can do that,
do you?

Look, I know it's a lot
to take in,

but I just can't bear the
thought of giving up already,

of throwing in the towel
at the age of 54.

I might have another 30 years
in me.

And I think I have the right
to try to be happy again,

try for a new life somewhere.

Somewhere away from the past.

And obviously I'll come back
and visit regularly.

And when I've settled,
you can come out and visit me.

But you've got your lives
to lead now,

and you don't want to be
worrying about having to drive

all the way up to see me
every other weekend.

That is never a--

And you haven't ever made it
feel like a chore.

But I just want you both
to be free

to start thinking about
your own families now.

So...

the houses are going
on the market.

And as soon as I've found
buyers, that'll be it.

I need a big change, boys.

To be able to move on,

I need to be somewhere
I can forget.

We managed to sell number four
in mid-2007,

and then a few months later,

we also found a buyer
for number three.

Haven't changed your mind, then?

Sorry, no.

So...

It's all in there.

Take whatever you want,

or take nothing
if it doesn't feel right.

It's entirely up to you.

I'll put the kettle on.

All right.

I still miss him.

Me, too.

Miss ringing him to find out
how to build something badly.

Or how not to handle
a work dispute.

Oh, yeah.

All done?

- Yeah, all done.
- Good stuff.

So can I just ask each of you
to sign those, please?

It's just some
inheritance-tax stuff.

All very boring.
You don't need to read it.

- Sure.
- No problem.

We're always at the end
of the phone.

Yeah.

Proud of you, Mam.

Go for it, all right?

Enjoy yourself.

Totally bloody nuts.

Come on.

Hello.

John?

Hiya, love. Lovely to see you.
How are you?

Yeah. I'm good.

I'm excellent.
How was your flight?

Yeah, fine, thanks.

Let me get you a drink.
Have a seat.

And how have you been
all on your own?

Yes. Good. Yeah.

Yes? Everything okay?

Yeah, fine.

John, can you leave that
a second?

I'll get you a glass of
that stuff you had last time.

John, what's the matter?

Prosecco, wasn't it?

John.

Okay.

We might have a little problem.

What sort of a little problem?

And this is absolutely
not my fault

because they only just changed
the rules a few months ago,

so there was literally no way
I could know about it.

What sort of a problem?

To get permanent-resident
status here now,

you have to have a signed letter
from a police force

in your country of origin,

attesting to
your good character.

Which is obviously a bit tricky,

given that my character
doesn't actually exist.

So you're saying we can't
actually live here?

Not literally, no.

Oh, my God, John.

I know.

How could you have missed that?

There was so much else
I had to deal with.

And you found this out when?
After I got on the plane?

I mean, when did you
find this out?

Actually, a few weeks ago.

And you didn't think
to tell me?!

To maybe stop me shipping
all our possessions out here?

Yep, fair play.

I could have been a bit more
reactive there,

but to be honest,

I was just so preoccupied
with the land deal.

What land deal?

The land we saw, love.

The land we agreed to buy.

Yeah, I remember
that land deal, John.

Of course I remember
that land deal.

But you obviously wouldn't spend
$400,000 on that land deal

if you'd just learnt
you couldn't actually live

or work here, would you?

Only a mad man would do that,
wouldn't they?

It was a bargain.

No.

No.

You're frustrated,
and I get that.

It's obviously disappointing
for both of us.

But everything happens
for a reason, Anne,

and this has actually
given me room to think,

because in truth, I'm fed up
of skulking in the shadows.

I want to be able to see
the boys again, as their dad,

for us to live normally
out in the open

as man and wife.

So...

I'm going to fly back to the UK.

I'm going to present myself
to the police,

and I am going to tell them
I've had amnesia.

Because bottom line, love...

I've had enough of being dead.