Original subtitles

vroom

'David? David?‘

Are you hiding in the garage again?

slam

Look at this mess.

Come on out, David. I know you're here.

0h! Hello, dear.

I was just cataloging some of my collection.

Collection? Huh!

Bunch ofjunk.

It's not junk.

This comb belonged to Cleopatra.

And this, this is an actual early draft of the Magna Carta.

- And this.. - Right.

Like you could afford these things

on a physics professor's salary.

We can't even afford the new car I want.

|-| didn't buy them, Enid.

| sort of...took them.

You robbed a museum?

Is that why you're wearing that goofy cat suit?

'Well, sort of. Not exactly.‘

Remember, last summer when I didn't get tenure?

Yeah, they thought you were crazy

because you kept insisting you were on the verge

of discovering...time travel.

It's my chrono suit. I've had it working for months.

I've been using it to gather treasures for my collection.

And you said I was a loser.

Let me get this straight.

You've got a suit that lets you travel in time

and you've been using it to steal historical trash?

- You stupid little man! - Huh?

You could go back and steal gold and jewels.

You could get stock information from the future.

- We could be rich. - No!

We can't use the suit to do

anything that could change history.

I'm careful to only take things that wouldn't be missed.

Like your spine?

Enid, please. Don't talk to me like that. I love--

Mother was right. lshould've married Jim Dorman.

'He's a very successful lawyer and you are a loser.‘

- 'Always were, always will be.‘ - But--

You worthless, good-for-nothing, wretched waste of space!

You invent a time machine

and can't think of anything useful to do with it?

I can think of one thing.

rizz

I can use it to get away from you!

By all means..

...you first.

Diana's carrying a grudge.

She'll get over it.

How 'bout you. Carrying anything?

What, Shayera?

We're cool.

We're giving each other our space.

I'm seeing Vixen now.

I'm very happy.

Uh-huh.

Anyway, why are we always talking about my love life?

What's going on between you and Diana?

Nothing. She's a respected colleague.

Uh-huh.

I don't have time to pursue a relationship.

My work is too important to allow any distractions.

Diana's a remarkable woman.

She's a valued friend, she's..

...standing right behind me, isn't she?

Don't let that stop you. Keep digging.

'lntruder alert. Dormitory, deck A.‘

'lntruder alert. Dormitory, deck A.'

beep

beep

Who are you?

How did you get in the Watchtower?

You weren't supposed see me.

Stay away! No, no one's supposed to know I was here.

clink

boosh

Everybody, okay?

Where are we?

click

Where?

I think the question is when.

I have to confess.

You're about the most colorfully attired individuals

I've ever bushwhacked.

Not exactly.

I don't care what you are as long as you pay the toll.

Toll?

Welcome to Elkhorn, Oklahoma, ma'am.

This here's is Tobias Manning territory.

You want tribute? Money?

Well, I ain't particular.

That fat gold chain will do just fine.

Unless you got something else you want to give me.

bam bam bam

Those are the biggest

slowest bullets I've ever seen.

- You're letting them go? - Hmm?

Oh, no.

thud

I was afraid of this.

The "Elkhorn Gazette."

It's either an amazing forgery

or it's less than a month old.

- So? - Look at the date.

'June 1879.‘

I have mentioned how much I hate time travel.

If we don't find our sneak thief, we're stuck here.

Let's head for the nearest town. See if we can find him.

We can't go anywhere dressed like this.

No, we can't.

These shoes are killing me.

You fight crime wearing high heels.

High heels that fit.

Aren't you going to put those on, John?

sniff sniff

Has the shower been invented yet?

Somebody should tell this guy.

[zappingl

click

Those empty holsters aren't gonna scare anybody.

You sure you don't want one of these?

Positive. Let's ride.

Hiyah!

clop clop clop

I'm out.

What's it gonna be, Earl?

I'm studying it, Tobias.

My pappy always said

"Faint of heart never filled a flush."

It ain't your pappy's money.

Fold.

That leaves you and me.

What are you holding, Mr. Lash?

It'll cost you another $500 to find out.

Call.

'Four kings and an ace.‘

Well, now, that's a might perplexing

seeing as I got four aces and a king.

Well, I've got the gun.

Lot of that going around lately.

Seems like a waste of a good-sized pot.

How about we split it and both walk away?

clicks

How about I keep it all?

Sounds fair the way you explain it.

That technology's from the future.

Hang him at dawn.

Don't I get a trial?

Sure.

You're guilty.

My town, my rules.

Wait a minute. Can't we talk about this?

How about another hand? Double or nothing!

I think we know how things work here now.

We have to help that man.

That's not what we're here for.

Someone's tampering with history.

The stakes are much bigger than the life of one card shark.

Then it's settled, we'll break him out after sundown.

chirp chirp chirp

That's not going to work. I tried it.

Yeah, those bars are cheap pig iron

but they're plenty strong enough to hold.

At least until morning when they come to hang you.

Do you mind? I'm trying to plan an escape over here.

How's it going so far?

I'm working on it.

clang

Quiet down in there!

That's just what I was telling him!

slam

Ooh.

I'll get the door.

Or that.

I'd get out of town if I were you.

I'd like to, but my pappy always said

"A man who sticks his head in the sand

makes a pretty good target."

I got business to conclude before I leave.

Bartholomew Aloysius Lash.

Friends call me Bat, Bat Lash.

I'm John. These are my friends, Diana and, uh..

- Bruce. - We're the lawmen.

Looking to bring a criminal to justice.

You may have seen him. He's got amazing machines.

We think the man who put you in here works for him.

Not quite, Wonder Woman.

How do you know who I am?

Because he's the man we're looking for.

David Clinton, inventor of the chrono suit

at your disposal.

You tried to steal Batman's utility belt.

And you chased me, but time tunnels

are somewhat counter-intuitive.

Even though you were only seconds behind me

I arrived here nearly six months before you did.

Where's your time travel device?

Now, that's a story.

As soon as I got here, I was robbed.

By Tobias Manning?

Yes, ma'am.

He took my suit and used it

to take over this town.

He keeps taking trips to the future

and coming back with stolen technology.

He keeps me here to teach him how to use the stuff that..

...he can't work out for himself.

Which, I'd suspect, is most of it

what with him being so mule-stupid and all.

It's been horrible here. Humiliating!

| just want to go home.

I'll gladly take my punishment

if you help me get back.

How did Tobias take over

a whole town with a time machine?

Future tech.

Like his extra-dimensional six-gun.

And his surveillance cameras.

We need to go, now.

Go with us.

That's a healthy gal.

bam bam bam

bam bam bam

bam bam bam

bratatat

I've got their position. I'm gonna take 'em down.

Don't hurt anyone. We could accidentally change history.

Little late for that, don't you think?

Oh!

Go ahead.

Give me an excuse.

bam bam

Something's happening out there.

bam bam bam

swish

tish

wu-tish

bratatat

Something's happening, alright. The cavalry's arrived.

bam

clink

bam bam

splash

Who are you people?

Sheriff Ohiyesa Smith.

Ed Diablo, ever at the service of justice.

Jonah Hex.

Don't have a lot of time forjawing.

In these parts, there's an abundance of bad men

who need setting straight.

If you all are working for Tobias

there's gonna be difficulty.

Easy, Jonah. They're with me.

'They helped me out of a spot'

'while I was here incognito'

'trying to find out more about Tobias.‘

What have you learned?

Among other moral failings

the man cheats at poker.

Huh! I could've told you that.

Why don't you start from the beginning?

I've lived in Elkhorn since the war.

And sheriffed most of that time.

This here's a mining town.

Booming, too.

Folks sometimes get a might rowdy

on payday, but still

it's a good place to live.

There's never been any mischief here

I couldn't handle.

Until about six months ago.

Tobias Manning's always been trouble.

I've run him out of town before.

Well...he came back.

Except this time, he had..

I don't know...magic powers.

There's no such thing as magic, my friend.

It was some sort of trickery.

Well, he tricked me near to death.

pew pew

pew pew

pfft pfft

bwok bwok

bwok

bwok

bwok

bwok

He whipped me good.

Ran me out of town like a stray dog.

He took over the town.

Runs it like his own personal kingdom.

Treats the town people like slaves.

That's unacceptable to me.

The sheriff went looking for men

who would help take Tobias down. He found us.

What's your stake in this?

We're lawmen too.

From back East?

Sure.

We came here to bring this man to justice.

Indirectly, he's the source of your trouble too.

Tobias stole a weapon from him.

It's the source of his magic.

We'll need to take that weapon back.

Since we all want pretty much the same thing

we should work together.

I ain't about to turn down help.

What's the plan?

Plan? Huh.

We put him in the ground.

Fancy gun belt you got there.

I'm thinking you folks are time travelers.

Where would you get a crazy idea like that?

Expefience.

I've had an interesting life.

We're getting close.

I wanna warn you, there's some downright

unusual activity going on hereabouts.

- Don't let it throw you. - Don't worry about it.

We've got a lot of experience with unusual--

screech

I'm sorry. You were saying.

We've been sighted. They'll be ready for us.

I sincerely doubt that.

screech

clop clop clop

rizz

bratatat

bam

bratatat

The shots are spooking the horses.

The shots are spooking me!

No!

pew

boom

swish

bratatat

swoosh swoosh

crackle crackle

screech

bam

bam bam

bwok

clop clop clop

crash

bratatat

bam

boom

swoosh

bratatat

boom

swish

thud thud

thud thud

zap

thud thud

zap

crackle crackle

bratatat

bratatat

Hey, tin horn!

thud thud thud

swoosh

thud

Tobias!

If it isn't pow-wow Smith.

Wasn't expecting to see your sorry hide again.

I've told you before about calling me that.

It ain't gonna happen again.

No.

I expect this is the last time.

Go for your gun, chief.

So I can ventilate you proper.

Six guns, six of us.

Nobody miss.

swish

My guns!

You and me, partner.

Right now.

Another day, lawman.

Nova!

Let him.

The man needs to balance his own accounts.

clop clop clop

bwok

crackle crackle

Have it your way.

Let's finish this.

bwok

whoosh

This what you're looking for?

Near as my ring can figure

that's everything that shouldn't be here.

Shoot! I wanted me one of 'em fancy ray guns.

Ain't dependable.

They jam.

Oh, you forgot to reset the compensator. Here, let me.

[zappingl

Or maybe I'm lying.

Huh.

boosh

We've been expecting you.

zap

But I bet you weren't expecting us.

Static?

What's going on?

Dad?