Original subtitles

Last time on Dog Park you might remember this...

So, Roland, you can't go to the park without Beattie.

Yeah, oh, yeah, no, I can. I can't run with a dog.

Mia, have you seen the dog?

Yes. Where?

Oh, I dunno. I'll text Mum.

No, no, no! Just, just...where is it? Sam took her.

(BARKS)

Oh, no.

Oh, my God, you're Roland. I'm Samantha.

Can we not do introductions? I'm not staying.

I don't do chat.

You do chat, but you left and now... I've got the dog,

the dog I didn't want in the first place, by the way,

but anyway, I've got full custody.

Hi, Roland. Hello.

You know, we're Emma and Beattie's park family.

And, uh, I guess now we're yours.

Oh, no, thank you.

Are you OK?

I mean, I'll see you at the park. Oh...

Yes! ..probably not actually, but anyway.

(NOTIFICATION DINGS)

DIGITAL ASSISTANT: Text message received.

Would you like to hear message? Yes.

'Emma US don't answer if drunk' said, "Hi.

"I decided to text you

"because whenever we talk, it gets weird and silent.

"Anyway, something big happened.

"Carl's leaving and wants me to take over the whole department."

Slime emoji. Surprise emoji.

"We should talk. They really like me, but, shit, I don't know.

"It's everything I've ever wanted,

"but I have to apply for a new visa and talk to Mia obviously.

"I know I can't just stay here forever, can I? Ha ha.

"Maybe you guys can visit, or Mia.

"Sorry for the dump. It's late and I'm on a high.

"Let's talk my tomorrow. X X."

Would you like to reply? No.

Play Mr Brightside.

Here's what I found about Mr Brightside.

Play...play Mr Brightside.

Unable to play Mr... Argh!

# Well, I've been looking around for some kind of feeling

# Some kind of sensation

# And you know I can feel it all inside

# I don't care where you've been

# And I don't care to see what you've seen

# Don't you know I will be dying

# To be by your side

# Oh, don't go now # Don't go now

# Don't go n...#

(KNOCKING)

SAM: It is you!

Where's Beattie?

Down, Muppet. Down! Muppet, down!

Turns out you're right, actually.

Emma is probably staying a little bit longer.

(GASPS) No way! Oh, that's so great. It is.

She's is amazing, isn't she? She is.

I'm so happy for her. Wow. Maybe you should join her.

Me? Oh, God, no.

I'm in a point in my life

where I definitely need to stay put. Look at this guy!

Taking up two spots. Selfish prick.

Maybe he's saving a spot for his wife.

(SCOFFS) The glass is very much half-full for you, isn't it?

It is the better half for blood pressure, heart health.

The thing is, though, like,

if the liquid is exactly at the halfway point,

the trajectory is down, isn't it?

I mean, you don't fill a glass from the halfway point,

you either, you drink it or you empty it out.

So, it is, by definition, half empty.

You must be such an inspiration for your students.

Is it creepy how much we know about you?

Well, I've changed the locks,

if that's any indication. (LAUGHS)

Now you have to tell me what you do. Guess!

That is my one gift. Mm-hm.

Um, something...

..something you love,

but that, uh, nobody else even realises it's a job.

Something that needs maths, numbers,

but also creativity, so, drawing...

Drawing. That'll do.

Wrong. Come on.

Architect.

I'm close, aren't I? You wish.

Oh, you wanna go! Do you wanna go? OK, hold on!

Go!

It's a shame we can't be more like them, isn't it?

(BARKS)

I'm happy with a handshake.

Are you? Show me happy.

Dad! Hurry up, I'm gonna be late.

That'd be a threat to some dogs. (CHUCKLES)

Why did you come here if you have to work?

Mum's been begging me to take her... Oh, someone's had a bath!

..'cause apparently you're not. (GROANS) I am!

He rolled in something again. No!

Talk to her. I've got another clipping for you.

Hey, were you at home last night? Oh, great!

Dad...I was staying at Yuki's. Thanks for keeping up.

Well, yeah, no, that's just kinda why I'm asking.

Are you gonna be home tonight?

I dunno, Dad. OK, fine. Let's just see.

..put him in a show, but you can't even sit.

Oh, I know. He wouldn't do it in front of other people.

(LAUGHS)

Did you bring something, Roland?

Pardon? Maybe next time.

Oh! I have this book for you. I have to go. Bye.

Bye. Oh. Oh!

Remember, no contact. No contact.

Yes? Promise? OK, promise. Yes.

Yeah? Thank you.

Bye! Bye, darling.

Thanks, Penny.

Also, can you tell Dad to trim his nose hairs? It's really gross.

OK, bye, guys! (OTHERS SAY GOODBYE)

See y... (SAMANTHA) I'm your favourite?

OK... 'Nose-ay', Roland? Oop!

'Rose-ay', Noland? (SIGHS) Roland? You're her absolute favourite.

Uh, sure, yep. I never say no to day drinking.

Oh, it's nearly dark. Someone's had a bath.

Yeah, he rolled in something again. No, I was talking about you.

It's good to see Mia out and about. I know. I told her no contact.

Oh, wise! Thank you!

Has anyone got a spare hair tie? Why is that...? Yes, I've got one.

You know what they say, patting dogs helps heartbreak.

Ah! Does it now?

Yeah! Oh, here.

Connor broke up with her.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right, yes.

It is very sad, isn't it? (PHONE RINGS)

Oh, excuse me.

Sorry. Um. Oh, if that's Emma,

can you ask if she's found the arrivals department yet?

You know, for visitors from...

Hello. Thank you for your message.

EMMA: (SIGHS) Yeah, can we talk about that tomorrow?

Yeah, well, you called me, Emma.

Yeah, so, um, Mia just sent me a photo of Beattie at the dog park.

Uh, yeah, because she's here at the park. The dog, I mean.

Did you hear about Mia and Connor?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course I did.

Hey, so, why does Beattie's tag say she's at home?

Because I took the tag off. Why?

Because you're using it to make sure I walk the dog.

I'm not!

Oh, gee, Roland, what is wrong with you?

Why are you making this so har...

Well, why do you need to know where the dog is?

In case he goes missing!

Yeah, and what are you gonna do from New Mexico, Emma?

Oh, I would call someone.

See, I'll be onto it before you even wake up,

so... Yeah, but...that...

No. So the only r... That's not the point.

The only reason you're tracking the dog is to make sure I'm walking her.

(SIGHS)

I really think you need help, Roland.

(CALL DISCONNECTS)

(DOG BARKS)

What?

Oh.

C'mon.

Well, then?

(DOGS BARK)

See you in the morning?

Yeah.

Hopefully the world ends before then. (DOG BARKS)

Oh, you're home. You hungry? Dinner's in the oven.

There's nothing to eat. Uh...

When are you going shopping? I just went shopping.

There's no food.

Yeah, no, I can hear you, you can't hear me.

Dinner's in the oven.

Ew.

You look so sad and lonely.

Are you talking to yourself or to dinner?

Why don't you get some friends?

Mum says you never reach out. Does she?

I'm ordering ice cream.

Mia.

Is everything alright?

With?

Well...with Connor. I mean, if you ever want to...

I swear to God, Dad, if you're about to give me relationship advice,

I will kill you in your sleep. OK.

You're drinking wine, again. By yourself, again.

(RAISES VOICE) You don't do counselling, which is ironic.

And you don't even know your own data points.

No, you're right, I don't. And by the way, I'm deferring uni.

Art 4 can suck my dick! No, you're not deferring uni!

You cannot tell me what I can or can't do!

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry, Dad. Oh, you don't have to be sorry.

They're just such a love-bombing fuck.

Who is?

Connor, Dad. Yes, yeah.

Well, you know, as you quite rightly point out,

I'm not really qualified to give relationship advice.

OK.

No, no, no, but, but, but... I was gonna say...

When you're young...

..well, actually, even when you're not... (CHUCKLES)

..um, it can seem really big.

I mean...before your mum, I had this German girlfriend.

She was so nice and really kind and...anyway...

..she left, and when she did, I felt like it was everything.

But...

..you know, time heals, plenty more fish in the sea.

They're cliches for a reason.

Thanks.

You're...

I have no advice for you.

(BALL BOUNCES SOFTLY)

(QUIET THUD)

(LOUD THUDDING)

(CLATTERING)

Hello?

(THUD!)

Wh...wh...wh...wh...wh... what's going on, Mia?

What's...? It's so good. I'm glad.

I should have done this then.

It's very early.

No, Dad, it's exactly the right time in my life.

Plus, I quit my job 'cause I booked a Cambodian retreat.

No, you're not going to Cambodia.

You've already paid the deposit, Dad.

(SCOFFS) I can't wait to see Connor's face when they hear.

Yeah, that will be something.

You can get rid of all this.

What...?

I gave you this for Christmas!

Hey! Off the couch.

(RADIO PRESENTER READS THE WEATHER) MIA (IN BACKGROUND): Oh, my God,

I wish you were here.

Why?

Um, it's a meditation for opening and reawakening.

300.

Yeah, I know!

He listens and then it's like it never happened.

Nothing. He just said...

(MOCKING TONE) "Um, you're not going to Cambodia."

I wish you were here.

I miss you too.

I know.

(QUIETLY) Come on!

No, I'm OK.

(CHUCKLES) No! Mum, no.

Hm.

(BEATTIE WHINES)

No, I'm not doing that.

PENNY: Roland!

Over here!

Left! No, no, right!

Hi! (CHUCKLES)

Come on over. Oh, um...

(BARKS) Beattie, no, no!

Come and join us! (BARKS)

Roland! Come for a cuppa!

Come round the side. (BARKS)

(MUTTERS)

(BARKS)

(FURNITURE SCRAPES) Jesus.

Keep going, going.

(SIGHS) Why do you have...?

This one?

Come in! Don't worry about shoes.

You're just helping me with the party.

Party?

Can you see it? MAN: (STRAINS) Yeah.

I found this. Oh, great!

There he is. You've missed everyone.

Hey, Roland. Hi.

Are you coming?

It's for Marty's birthday. Oh. Farty Marty's having a party.

Yes. Don't be tardy. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

That's all you want? No, no.

Look, I think there must be another one up there, Jonah. Do you mind?

Nah. No dramas. Great.

It's a beautiful house, isn't it? Yeah. Could do with a few less doors.

Are you coming, Roland? To Farty Marty's birthday party.

Oh, God, no.

I mean, nothing personal - I wouldn't go to my own birthday party.

Right, OK.

Come on, it's his big one-two.

12?! God, I thought he was 20.

Sorry, I mean, maybe he just needs a good night's sleep.

That's the one! Right, let's see what we've got.

Oh, how's Mia doing?

Uh, she's a little emotional and unhinged.

Um, I think I made it worse, actually.

She's booked a meditation retreat.

Oh, that's a good idea. In Cambodia. She paid a $300 deposit.

Wow. I'd do that.

Exactly. Huh...

I mean, what's the point of meditation?

Doesn't it just make things worse?

You know, when I was Mia's age, I made a bomb out of hairspray cans.

That's comforting. Yeah, I don't know why I did that.

Maybe you should talk to her. Happy to.

As long as you didn't say, "The first heartbreak is the hardest."

Yeah. Or, "Plenty more fish."

Or, "Time heals all wounds." Yeah.

That's a classic one. (CHUCKLES)

(CAR HORN HONKS) Oh, shit. I gotta go.

Oh, how are the brothers? (SIGHS) Eh...you know.

Yeah, OK. (HORN HONKS)

Alright, I'll see you guys tonight, alright?

Yeah. Sorry, I can't stick around.

No, no, don't worry. Roland will help me, won't you, Roland?

This way! Let's go!

Oh, no. Um, no. I...I can't... I'm off too.

I'll make a banner for tonight. Oh, great. Thank you.

(MARTY SNUFFLES, PANTS)

Oh, shush, Marty. We all know it's your birthday.

He wants you to say happy birthday.

Roland.

Say happy birthday to Marty.

I'm not doing that.

(LAUGHS) Bye!

Muppet, let's go! Bye!

Come on! Good boy.

I have half an hour.

I wouldn't want you any longer.

Great. (MARTY GRUNTS)

What did you do, or do you do for work?

The majority of the time I was in the diplomatic corps.

And, um, Sam, what does she do?

Uh, she's an engineer.

Mm.

She turns drawings of bridges into actual bridges.

That one in the city's hers. What a show-off.

Why didn't you go with Emma to New Mexico?

Oh, 'cause of the dog.

No. 'Cause of, well, Mia, my job.

Actually, she never asked

probably because she knew what the answer was gonna be.

That's our secret to success, you know.

If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.

Oh, Jesus.

(CHUCKLES)

I think I'm making this worse.

A bit like parenting, isn't it? (CHUCKLES) Mm.

Do you have kids?

Four. Mm.

Three alive.

And six grandchildren,

all very alive. (NOTIFICATION DINGS)

Uh...

Oh. No, sorry.

Work? Yes. Yeah.

Um, Esther, she's failed her property course.

Oh. One less real estate agent.

(LAUGHS) Yeah. Uh, Beattie. (BEATTIE BARKS)

C'mon. Good girl.

Roland, you were a teen once.

No, I was born middle-aged.

You just have to be there for her while she stuffs everything up.

Even if she acts like she doesn't need you.

What do you think I should do while I'm being there?

Well, cook, and listen.

Yeah, I do cook. Well, something she likes, you know.

Teens are like crocodiles or beach worms.

Just drag a chicken across the sand. Is that a recipe?

Fill the house with smells that she can't resist,

and she'll come out to eat and hopefully talk.

Hm.

Mm-hm.

Not this one.

(CLEARS THROAT QUIETLY)

Scuse me.

Scuse me, scuse me! Sorry.

Sorry, I just can't... (CHUCKLES) Sorry.

(EXHALES)

(MIA LAUGHS) (INDISTINCT TALKING)

(CHUCKLES) There are so many good things going for you.

Hey.

Sorry, it was just a little bit spur of the moment.

What was the spur of the moment?

Well, I...I just thought it might be better if we spoke face-to-face

rather than... than those awful phone calls.

What do you want to talk about?

Dad, would you be mad if I went and lived in America?

Oh, uh, hang on. No, well, we...

..we need to discuss this first. Instead of Cambodia.

Yeah. I'll just...I'll just...

No, no, no.

You know what, there are so many... (BECOMES INDISTINCT)

(EMMA, MIA LAUGH) (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

(BEATTIE WHIMPERS)

(WHIMPERS)

(PEOPLE CHATTER INDISTINCTLY)

MAN: Where did you get this information from?!

Me? How old do I look to you? (LAUGHTER)

PENNY: Roland, you made it! Yeah, try and keep me away.

I already drank some. Oh, no, no, no.

I can't do the news. It's too depressing.

Oh, aren't you lucky the rest of us do.

No, I get it. It's not like... I get the news.

But what's the point of...? Well, that's something, isn't it?

Have you seen the cake? Doesn't cake kill dogs?

It's made of dog food. My partner makes them.

Oh, God, it's the end of civilisation

when people start making cakes for dogs.

What good does it do watching the news from your couch, Roland?

How nice to pretend that

there's nothing bad in the world. So glad you could make it, Roland.

Yeah! Spreading joy wherever he goes.

Have you ever tried ice baths? SAM: Roland.

No, I haven't, and don't be surprised if I never do, actually...

Roland, can you help me hang this streamer up?

I need a tall guy. Yeah.

So, I don't need your help.

I was just worried that you were about to bite one of the young ones.

Emma's back.

Yeah. Spur of the moment.

Why are you here, then?

I guess I just can't resist dog parties.

No, I froze, to be honest.

And Mia looked so relieved to have her mum back,

I...just left them alone.

OK.

I'm not saying it's normal behaviour

to leave the house when your wife comes home.

It's a choice. Yeah.

Her suitcase was empty, which...

..which means she's packing more or something, or I don't...

Get away. (SNORTS, PANTS)

PENNY: Marty, come on!

It started as four weeks, and then it got extended because she's amazing.

And then Carl, whoever he is,

decides to leave the place and put her in charge, and...

..now I'm starting to think

she's about to tell me she's never coming back.

And I can't help but wondering, was this the plan all along?

She probably just got over there and realised how great it is...

..um, how fun it is being good at what you do.

Yeah, I probably shouldn't be talking about this with you.

Probably not.

I feel like I'm about to lose everything.

Everyone, Jonah and Pamelia are going to sing.

Oh, fuck me. Stop it.

Fuck. No, no. Come on, it's gonna be great.

You are gonna love it.

# Marty, he is so smart he knows when you're sad or when you're mad

# Or when it's time to party

(EGG SHAKER RATTLES)

# He's your best friend He's my best friend

# When I'm with you my life sails I'm like a dog with two tails

(EGG SHAKER RATTLES)

# Every dog will have his day

# This is your day, Marty Say it with me

# This is Marty, Marty's birthday. #

(CLAPS) Yay! (HOWLS)

(OTHERS HOWL) Happy birthday, Farty Marty!

JONAH: Hip, hip! ALL: Hooray!

Hip hip! Hooray!

Hip hip! Hooray! (CLAPS)

Stop, put that down. Happy birthday, Marty.

Oh, it's like Lady and the Tramp. PENNY: It is.

So, what do you think of that?

That was a true cultural experience. (LAUGHS)

I think I've...

I'll never be the same after that. No, no.

Oh, look out. Here comes The Man from Snowy River.

(LAUGHS) Oh, no, it's The Bush Tucker Man.

Oh, he's coming here.

Oh, hello. He's, um... (CHUCKLES)

Hey, babe. Hi. Hi!

Steve, this is Roland. Oh, hey! Beattie's dad.

Yeah. Well, no, actually I'm human. Roland loves your hat.

It's ,uh, rabbit pelt. Yeah.

Hey, you just missed the song.

Oh, really? OK. Yeah. Oh, my God!

I'd love to hear it. No! Please don't mention it.

They'll do it again. OK.

SONG: # ..Never do I worry I've got nothing to say

# I never get lonesome Nothing to deplete

# Never do get hungry Got no mind to eat

# I never get lonesome

# Especially in the night and you are gone

# I never get lonesome

# As long as a rooster crows (BEATTIE WHINES)

# I hear you on the radio I see you on TV

# I never get lonesome

# Especially in the night and you are gone

# I never get lonesome... #

ROLAND: Here's a small taste of what happens next on Dog Park.

SAM: Of course they offered you a job and want to keep you forever.

How did Roland react? EMMA: I haven't told Roland yet.

I just hope I don't fuck it up.

You will definitely fuck it up.

PENNY: You're home early.

Just wanted to check in on Mia. You know, the break-up...

And Roland.

Hey, Penny, stand down. Emma's not on trial.

MIA: But I seriously didn't wanna leave

without saying goodbye to you all, so...

Take us with you! Please! Oh! I love you guys all so much.

It is summer in America!

It's in the northern hemisphere. I don't have anything to wear.

I don't have a hat. I don't have sunnies. I don't have a bikini.

I don't have anything. You've got a hat.

Dad, stop being crazy. OK, that's my cue.

Well, this is nice!

The three of us out together

to yum cha in a new place we've never been before.

We've been here before.

More than once. Oh.

Well, still, it's nice.

WOMAN: Is he always like this?

Not always.

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0