Original subtitles

The sons are said to be working at the behest of the rogue

Amazonian and reputed sorceress Circe.

Circe claims to be the rightful heir to the throne of the perhaps mythical,

perhaps real, all -female island nation of Themyscira.

Inside sources claim Circe has promised the sons that once the downfall of

Themyscira is achieved, she will lead them to conquer Themyscira.

I mean, seriously, Themyscira is like the sickest place ever, and then you

me, oh, dude, only women can live there?

What? That is so sexist, bro.

Where do you think they have the most incredible waterfalls?

I have this question for all the woke feminists out there.

Why do only girls get such cool waterfalls?

All over the world, our rights as men are being denigrated. What a bunch of

clowns. Dangerous clowns.

Cocola Stein is a friend of the U .S. Countries don't have friends.

After your decades in the military general flag, I think you'd understand

true friendship is built on petroleum deposits, especially on mine ones in a

backward -ass country that's never taken advantage of their natural resources.

Princess Lana Rostovic, the heir apparent to Pokolestan, is already

with the U .S. for that oil.

And if she's overthrown by some nutjob in a witch's hat, all bets are off.

We need to help Rostovic.

I thought Congress put a stop to all Task Force X activities since your

outed you. Technically, Congress said Argus can't use incarcerated human

as mission operatives any longer.

But what about beings that aren't human?

Huh?

What in the holy hell? This is the Belle Reve Non -Human Internment Division.

For over 50 years, only those at the uppermost levels of security clearance

aware of its existence.

By using these prisoners, I think we can arguably circumvent our new

restrictions. Arguably? How? Congress said we can't use human prisoners. These

assholes aren't human.

She's not human?

Is a corpse human?

Who is she? We don't know. We call her the Bride.

Who's Jason and the Argonaut? A sociopath who calls himself Dr.

Hufford. He has a radiated skin he can use to burn through people and objects.

Well, how does that radiation affect the people around him? If you don't sleep

in the same room with him, the effects should be minimal. Minimal? Consider it

free vasectomy.

What is that thing?

The Weasel.

It's one of the few soldiers still alive from Project Starfish in Corto Maltese.

So we know it has what it takes to survive.

Sorry, I didn't mean to intimate anything about your son, Flagg. When he

Corto Maltese, he died a hero.

That one looks like a discontinued dishwasher.

That dishwasher killed over 300 Nazis in World War II.

I would have dismantled it, but I thought it might come in use someday.

It's known as G .I. Robot.

Last one is Nina Mazursky.

What use is she walking around in a fishbowl? Get her in water is a

story. She's the smartest and most reasonable of the bunch. She might be

help you keep the rest of them in line.

This...

is your new Task Force flag.

Let's call it Task Force M. M for Monster, also known as...

There's an Osprey waiting to take you directly to the castle to protect

Rostovik from Cersei and her forces.

I know you all aren't exactly enthusiastic about this mission, but...

believe you've read us wrong. We're delighted to be here and delighted to

our country. Okay.

Uh, great.

Are you smiling?

Yes.

Sarcastically? Mm -hmm.

GI Robot is detecting unease. Could he be, GI Robot asks, in fear of being

discovered as Nazi scum? No. Put your arm, your gun down.

He's not a Nazi. Child killer, though.

Not a great look. Supposedly he had a bad experience the last trip he took on

this osprey, that's all.

Goddamn Pocotastown. You've been here before?

Oh, fuck. I came back to my hometown incognito to forget

about it all.

Suddenly I heard, hey there, papito. You don't ever give a call.

Looks like the princess has imported security.

Calm down. We'll be there soon.

Oh, my God. Is he pissing? He's pissing.

You son of a bitch.

God, it's on my leg. Look at the satisfied look on his face.

No one thought to take him out for a walk after a long trip. You better not

looking at me right now.

And a key to your gonzo turbo

gypsy autopilot and your story to tell, story to tell.

Looks like the gene pool was above ground and inflatable, if you know what

mean.

Yeah.

I wonder where this princess is gonna look, though.

Oh.

Richard Bill Flagg, senior.

So wonderful to be meeting you.

Yes, you too. Your middle name is Bill. Yes.

Not like William?

No. His middle name is Bill. Mine, okay?

Princess Rostovik, it's an honor.

This is not the kind of bow we do in Pokolistan, Mr. Richard Flagg.

So, unfortunately, we're going to have to kill you. What? Alexei. I am sorry.

must only do sacred customary bow in this castle.

Everyone, murder this man.

Hold on a minute. No one briefed me on what kind of bow.

Alexi.

There. How do you say it?

Messing on you?

I am making joke.

For a minute I think you're going to make mess in your pants, huh?

I was never going to... Very close to messing his pants. I wasn't even in the

vicinity of doing that. We are so much like Americans here.

We pull pranks like Jamie Kennedy experiment. We do the Super Bowl show.

to say... Well,

you're certainly current with your popular cultural references.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Sarcastic smile.

Now, I have a question for you, skeleton.

Where's the beef?

Claude Appella, one of the greats. Enough, Alexei. We've prepared a banquet

you, our honored guests.

They've been living on prison grub for quite some time. Forgive their manners,

Your Highness. Just the line is fine.

We don't stand on ceremony here.

Oh, okay.

Then, uh, sure.

You assemble this prison grub? Oh, just seeing it is enough to give me the

collywobbles. Your eye.

Delana.

Their manners do not bother me. I love seeing friends enjoying themselves.

That is the queen.

Poor sweet mother. She has not been self -aware.

Some long time now.

Yes, Mother, of course.

She says she's believed you're here.

Oh. You see why I'm taking care of Pugliese Town's affairs, even though it

quite be official until, you know.

You're welcome, Mother.

I love you, too.

G .I. Robot?

Yes, Miss Nina?

Would you like anything?

Diesel?

Um, some diesel fuel, please, for our robot friend. Yes, madam. Right away,

madam.

It is a beautiful

evening, isn't it? I do not enjoy landscapes devoid of dead Nazis, Miss

Oh. Can Miss Nina and G .I. Robot be killing Nazis soon?

Miss Waller promised it would be soon. It's been oh so long since G .I. Robot

has sent Nazis back to hell where they belong.

I think it will be soon.

G .I. Robot would like to kill Nazis with you. Would you like to kill Nazis

G .I. Robot? If I killed Nazis with anyone, it would certainly be you, G .I.

Robot. Oh, my.

G .I. Robot has been waiting for a friend to kill Nazis with for 74 years,

days, and 52 minutes.

I hope we aren't too much of an intrusion. Our only goal here is to keep

safe, Ilana. I'm happy to have the company.

Even that one?

Why was he in prison?

Supposedly murdered 27 children.

Oh. He hasn't shown any violent tendencies since then, so I wouldn't

Also wouldn't invite the school choir to the castle while he's here.

Oh, no. I like American music.

Rock and roll!

But yes, I am happy for the company, especially the company of America.

My country is a charming one, but it is backward.

Always rejecting progress is corrupt.

It is my most cherished dream to lead my people into the 21st century.

Well, I've been there.

Not sure I'd recommend it.

Are you married, Richard Flagg?

No, no.

I was once, but...

My wife ended up being my least favorite aspect of that 21st century you're all

gung -ho about. I will avoid that part of the 21st century, then.

Sometimes, missteps lead you where you need to be.

She and I had a son when we were just 18.

Fine young man.

I joined the military mostly just to make money so I could support him.

18 years later, he joined the military because he loved our country and he

wanted to make it a better place.

Yeah. Boy, it was an improvement on me in every way.

What?

He passed on about two years back.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I would have liked to introduce the two of you.

I have a feeling you would have gotten on like a house on fire.

A house on fire does not seem good. No, it's supposed to be a good thing. I'm

sure your son was a fine man, but I'm much more fond of older men.

I'd like to show you something.

This. Armour is beautiful, no?

Um, sure.

It is over 500 years old.

What is it you wanted to show me, Ilana?

Just this wonderful armour.

That's not an armour.

Listen, Ilana. Yes?

I just... I don't think this is exactly ethical. I'm here to protect you. To

protect me from loneliness?

No, I... From lack of passion? No, I... From bookily sunny men who have never

seen the world, have no clue how to treat a woman, and who can't see me as

human being I am behind a veil of royalty?

Closer, but still no.

Look,

I think we need to get some shut eyes so we can put a cogent plan in place in

the morning.

I'll leave G .I. Robot to guard the door.

Richard.

In June of 1944, a storm hit.

38 dead and nothing.

September of 1944.

I fought at the Battle of Hurtgen Forest, a whopping 92 dead Nazis. In

of 1944, at the Battle of Aachen, I ended the lives of 14...

How'd you get down here? I walked down the stairs.

No one tried to stop you? We're here to protect them. Why would they stop me?

Hey, you can't leave! Why not?

Well, Vlad will use the remote to shock you. And then we all get shocked.

Seems like a flaw in the system to me to get shocked even when I didn't do

anything wrong.

That was like the worst feeling ever. Grow a pair, fish.

A pair of... What? Wait, where are you going?

Open the door. Oh, my God. I do not have you in the schedule. He doesn't have us

in the schedule. I don't need a schedule, Sir Douche -a -lot. I'm not

prisoner. Sir, open the freaking door.

Guys, please, come on, stay.

Oh, darn it.

Do you have any money?

Pardon? Money.

Cough up some cash.

I don't have any freaking rubles on me. How am I supposed to get around?

Our money is not called rubles. Yeah, I know. It was meant to be insulting. Just

give me some cash.

Thank you. She means to say thank you. No, I don't mean anything of the sort.

You asked him for money and he just gave it to you. That's right.

He was rude.

Yeah, that's right. We shouldn't leave.

Oh, look, no one is forcing you to come.

Never mind what's on her head. Just go to the address I told you.

Hey!

Ah.

Ha ha ha!

You think Waller would give me the only remote?

You'd be hopping around like a Mexican jumping bean for days if you escaped.

Or, if I told her about this, I'm not here to torture you.

We're supposed to be on the same damn team.

My bride.

After all these years, I've found you.

Thank you.